S11.E01: Week 1, Part 1

[JenE4]

I have to admit that I kind of liked the healer in his intro package...but then he got on the show and it was all downhill from there! Oh, well!

But the one guy who I adored in his intro package and STILL liked even more throughout the show was Ian. He's not only hot and athletic but he went to Princeton and he's sweet. And his sob story (the accident) is one in which he shows personal strength and all of that good stuff. So far he's my top pick.

I think my second top pick currently is the automotive spokesman. Damn! He is hot! He also was adorable playing in the snow with his son, and seemed genuinely nice throughout the episode.

I also liked the dentist. I am willing to overlook the candy corn on the cupcake mobile. Really, candy corn? That's one of the worst candies in existence. This cupcake mobile must have been created as a Halloween costume or a Thanksgiving Day parade float. But, I digress...

The Ryan Gossling look-alike was hot. I don't remember much else about him so that means he definitely didn't come off badly and could be a contender.

Who is the one who drew Harrison on a triceratops? I wasn't paying enough attention and then after they revealed that masterpiece I couldn't catch who he was. I need to keep my eye on him. That was awesome!

One of the best parts of Ryan's drunkenness was when someone confronted him, and he was all taken aback saying no one has EVER had a problem with me! Yeah, except for the 4 other guys who confronted you! And, yes, he did say "Chris Hanson wants to see me?" Which I TOTALLY thought it could have been a "To Catch a Predator" crossover after he threatened to rape that guy (!), slapped Kaitlyn's ass, and took off his clothes wandering around saying how "horned up" he is. And, Harrison said it wasn't because he was drunk or acting inappropriately, it was because he was There for the Wrong Reasons! Drink! But not you, Ryan. Oh, that reminds me of the guy who tried to lure Ryan away from Kaitlyn with promises of a drink waiting at the bar, lol.

I thought the guy arriving in the carpool was funny--despite him looking like a chubby Ian Zeiring from 90210. But then he's the amateur sex coach! Yuck! Other than him I can't really think of anyone who was OMG, nooo! Well, the superhero from RI was weird, as was the stripper, and the one with the pointy teeth who is already "in love" with Kaitlyn and decided it's his job to protect her already--his name may or may not be Jonathan (knowing me with names, likely not). Maybe tonight I'll have a better idea of where to rank everyone. This episode was too focused on ranking Britt and Kaitlyn. So I know where most of them stand on Kaitlyn vs. Britt, but I don't know much about the guys themselves.

Edited May 19, 2015 by JenE4

[BeatrixK]

I hope Ryan's van took him straight to 'Intervention.'  Yowsa!  Given the Bach francises' love of drama...he must have presented one helluva liability risk for them to take the step to boot him off the show.  (And yeah...Chris Hansen made me LOL.  Hard.)

 

Hot tub car...srsly?

[Wings]

Ian was the only one who stood out to me. 

 

Judging from the resumes it seems they had a hard time finding men willing to sign on.  Trainer can mean many things though it sounds legit.  I am living  on a trust fund and spend a lot of time at the gym is one that leaps to mind.  Hard to believe TPTB jumped on the armature sex therapist and junkyard specialist.  

Asking Nick back may have been a last minute consideration to help save this season.  

Edited May 19, 2015 by Rhondinella
added spoiler tag

[alexa]

I mainly found it interesting how Britt was so excited (and then also took the time to say how Kaitlyn was too nervous and that was too bad for her) when the guys were coming up to her.  But the moment they started going up to Kaitlyn first, suddenly Britt wasn't feeling so confident.  What a shocker!  We have seen that from her before.  Yes, it is normal for her to feel that way, but she should have been more realistic from the beginning versus acting like it was all going to be so much fun.  I think Kaitlyn was being very realistic about it all felt.  Add to that I think Britt was going to be excited at first no matter what because I think she knows she was an add-on and Kaitlyn was originally going to be the b'ette.  So of course Kaitlyn was not thrilled to begin with, and Britt was because she got her chance.

 

I really hated the concept of the 2 women having to do that.  I don't care that two men had to do it many years back.  It is disrespectful to any of them that are put in that position.  I also think it sets up the Bachelorette for more failure to succeed in the season, as you already have almost eliminated 1/2 the men that prefer the other woman.  It will take a few weeks to get past that issue to then move on to them giving Kaitlyn a chance.  But this is Fleiss, so I am not shocked at all that he doesn't care about the final outcome.  

 

Overall, I will like it when we move forward to the one b'ette.  I really didn't like last night's episode much.

[Rainsong]

As I said on the Bachelor side of things, I have never watched the B'ette because a season-long focus on one female making cow eyes at a group of SNAGs (Sensitive New Age Guys) who are themselves faking it all the way is only marginally interesting compared to a gaggle of females having breakdowns and rows that you can set your watch by, regardless of who the Bachelor is.

 

Still, I admit that the twist had me DVR-peeking during breaks in the hockey game.  I would have thought Kaitlyn would resist any attempt by the wardrobe dept to give her a sparkly sophomore prom night dress but there it was.  Britt's whipped-cream toga was an odd choice as well.  She wore red the first night she met Chris and it's an ideal color for her, especially with her present hair shade.  

 

Britt just doesn't have the energy to keep up the golly-gee-whiz act for two whole series and, frankly, as the potential B'ette she doesn't need to.  If she's an unmarried, attractive 20-something in LA, especially waiting tables, then she has heard every lame chat-up line in the book.  This crop of Bachelors are cynical in the extreme, as their unguarded conversations reveal.  In fact, they are expressing a preference for Kaitlyn BECAUSE she's cynical.  So if Britt wants the gig she should let more of that knowing, street-wise side of her come through a) because it's more real and b) because the blokes seek it anyway.

 

Without veering too far into disapproving sociopolitical comment, it has been noted upthread that these Bachelors are stuck in perpetual adolescence and/or some vocations that are euphemisms (personal trainer = bartender) or outright fictions (entrepreneur, healer).  This is the dark side of 'choose your own path' as well as a reflection of the true state of the economy for young people.

 

Tattoos.  Here we go again.  Might as well get an inscription that literally reads 'IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME' because that's what body graffiti inevitably represents to the wearer and to the beholder.  You're a lawyer with sleeve tats poking out past your shirt cuffs?  Tacky with or without the stripper gig. And it's doubtful that any hiring firm, client, judge or jury will be impressed.

 

Coma Guy was quite matter-of-fact about being hit by a car.  Surely there's more to the story?  Occasionally the producers tip their hand by leaving crucial details out of an introductory video - which all but assures us there will be further exposition later i.e. the story-teller makes the initial cut.

 

A clod-kicker from Iowa?  Haven't we been down that road before?  Welding is a proper gig and lucrative because it is in huge demand - but that demand is mostly in growth areas ie cities.  And, in a happy coincidence, there are single women in those cities.

 

Don't remember much about Kentucky Guy except his fat chocolate lab.  The poor animal looked like a propane tank on tomato stakes.  It fought inertia for approximately 6.8 minutes before it generated enough forward motion to fetch a ball thrown a mere 12 feet away.  Perhaps with its owner on Bachelor duty it might avoid being overfed for a few weeks.

 

Pity the poor production crew who had to try to find a beauty shot in Detroit  - and in the dead of winter.  As it turned out they opted for...a shot of the river and a good bit of another country altogether ie Canada in the frame!

 

Healer Yoga Guy was right out of central casting.  Separate your consciousness from what, exactly?  The fact that you're doing bugger-all the rest of the day anyway?  And is that a bong I hear bubbling in the background?  Duuuuuuude!

 

Drunken Idiot was good for a laugh or two but only the presence of cameras and security kept him from taking at least one punch.  Chris Harrison's extra-serious camp counselor face and hackneyed phraseology ('You're not here for the right reasons' [Drink!]) were comedy gold as well.  They keep the drunk girls in the house but turn the drunk males out?  Double standard!

Edited May 19, 2015 by Rainsong

[CindyBee]

Who is the one who drew Harrison on a triceratops? I wasn't paying enough attention and then after they revealed that masterpiece I couldn't catch who he was. I need to keep my eye on him. That was awesome!

 

 

Some guy named Clint.   Thought it was one of the better gifts ever on the show!

[Bella]

A quick reminder:

 

If you know anything - anything! - about the future episodes, that is a spoiler and should not be in this thread.

 

For purposes of this thread:

We do not know which girl was chosen.

We do not know anything about what happened with either girl after the choice was revealed.

That includes anything about anyone, male or female, who was eliminated.

It also includes anything about anyone, male or female, from the present or past, who might make an appearance in a future episode as a friend, advisor, or whatever.

 

As someone who is fully spoiled, I know it's hard to filter some of the spoiler knowledge when you post. However, we all need to do it for the good of the entire group.

 

Thanks!

[anony mouse]

I used to be such a fan of Kaitlyn and was lukewarm on Britt, but after watching the episode, I think Britt would make a far better Bachelorette. Kaitlyn was just too awkward, sometimes annoying, and if she keeps up with the mouth thing, I'm not going to be able to watch.

[JudyObscure]

As I said on the Bachelor side of things, I have never watched the B'ette because a season-long focus on one female making cow eyes at a group of SNAGs (Sensitive New Age Guys) who are themselves faking it all the way is only marginally interesting compared to a gaggle of females having breakdowns and rows that you can set your watch by, regardless of who the Bachelor is.

 

My thoughts exactly, Rainsong.  The guys are so boring and predictable and they don't wear hair-dos and dresses for us to make fun of.  Well, most of them don't.

 

Since we're rating on one to a billion scales, I'll do my one to ten.

 

Britt:  Nine on looks.  That's vey high for me since I save ten for certain movie stars.  I find her face almost as lovely as she does, with slightly too plump cheeks being her only flaw. Her personality does come off fake, but she's faking a sincere, graceful, refined person who I don't mind watching on a fake romance show like this.

 

Kaitlyn: Eight on looks.  She's also very pretty and sparkly (or was that her dress?) but the twisted mouth and the constant teeth licking is a definite minus. I think her personality seems a bit fake, also, but what she's faking is a forced, dirty joke telling, "realness," that can be found in any bar in town.  Just listen for the "woot, woot" noises. I think she's totally wrong for this show.

 

Both girls have small childlike bodies, that's a tie.

 

The show itself was brutal.  Whoever said it was like a seventh grade dance was dead on.  I felt bad for whichever girl was having to stand and smile while the other one was being raved about. 

 

If it were me, I would just take the dentist and go home.

[TVHappy9463]

this is my first year watching the bachelor and the bachelorette. I was team Kaitlyn on the bachelor and I am still team Kaitlyn now. I loved cupcake guy, but the rest of them seemed so icky. I have read ahead so I know what happens, but I can't wait to see how it plays out. And over hype king Chris always cracks me up!

[Bella]

 

I wish the guys who vote(d) for the girl who didn't get the most roses got to leave.  Make it a short season with only half of the 'contestants.'

 

I'd like a Bachelor-Pad-esque show where they'd have to date the ones who voted against them, then from that group pick one guy for themselves and one for the other girl for an extended date at the end of each episode. But I digress.

 

I didn't like the set-up of the two women standing several yards apart so that the men had to approach one first. That was humiliating. Kudos to the guy who called for a group hug!

 

No preferences yet, though the African American guy with the kid was charming, and I also liked the triceratops artist. I generally can't keep track of the names until they're down to about 10 or 12.

[MsPH]

I love Kaitlyn. She's just being herself, good and bad. So refreshing after the fakety fakeness of Andi. Britt is even worse than Andi. I just can't stand her. The constant the hair touching drives me insane, and she kept putting Kaitlyn down to prop herself up. How does she not understand why people dislike her?

 

I like several of the guys. Ben H., Jared and Ben Z. are really cute. Shawn seems nice too, but I'm kind of side-eyeing anyone who talks about love at first sight. Joe seems like really nice guy, but he needs to stop overfeeding his poor dog. Ian is very handsome. Tanner's tissue gift was funny and I can't believe humourless Britt got offended over it.

 

Don't even want to talk about the freaks, except to say that Nikki has terrible taste in men. No wonder she was hanging onto Juan Pablo for so long. He's practically Prince Charming compared to Ryan.

[Wouldofshouldof]

To paraphrase:  "...I don't want my relationships to go stale.  That's where sex toys come in, like the anal ones.  Just make sure you coat them well so they don't get stuck in your bowels..."

 

Then he went on to say, also paraphrasing, "I've never had that experience...they have them in LA...I read it on the internet."  Um, I'm pretty sure they have them in other cities, too.  His status as amateur sex coach kills me, like what, he peeks in through people's windows while they're doing it and shouts advice?

[Bella]

This is not okay.

 

I just deleted a post referencing the rest of the season and another post quoting it.

 

Stop it.

 

You all know better.

 

Further posting of spoilers and spoiler-related information will result in violation points and 1- to 3-day suspensions for the entire site.

 

We have a lively spoiler thread for that kind of thing. Please use it.

 

[Dirtybubble]

Healer Yoga Guy was right out of central casting.  Separate your consciousness from what, exactly?  The fact that you're doing bugger-all the rest of the day anyway?  And is that a bong I hear bubbling in the background?  Duuuuuuude!

 

And who punched him in the face?  Did anyone notice the bruise under his right eye?  Enh that guy was getting on my nerves, more so than drunk dude.

 

 

His status as amateur sex coach kills me, like what, he peeks in through people's windows while they're doing it and shouts advice?

IKR?!  I did not understand these career descriptions.  It all reads unemployed and desperate to me. 

[Primetimer]

This season on The Bachelorette, 'two very different women' (one's a brunette!) are competing to date a horde of very similar men. It's controversial! But is any of it worth watching?

Read the story

[threebluestars]

I think certain occupations show up again and again because it's easier for some to take the time off work. Some people may have jobs that make it impossible to leave unless they quit. So we see the pharmaceutical sales, people in family businesses, unemployed, personal trainers, hairdressers, makeup, models etc. They either work on their own or have the ability to take the time off or are working jobs that maybe aren't their target career. 

 

It does give the bachelor/ette a poor cross section though lol.

 

I was also hoping that whoever votes for the non-winner goes home lol. Although I don't think they'll do that, not because they'd lose contestants, but because I think they'll like the drama of guys having to stay around to date their second choice girl lol. That being said, I wonder if Chris will say "if anyone here doesn't want to continue, there's the door" and if anyone will walk out. That would be totally gross, awkward and perfectly in line with this franchise.

[kira28]

Britt is gorgeous. I give her that. If I was a guy I could see why they are so drawn to her. She's stunning. She looked beautiful in her dress. Kaitlynn unfortunately looked like she was wearing her mom's old prom dress. The color and the style did not look good on her. I like her more than Britt but her joke telling and the thing she does with her mouth annoys me.  Britt's so fake. I LOVE baseball! You have a child? I LOVE kids AWW!.  You have a dog? I LOVE dogs! You are a personal trainer? I LOVE fitness. You ate breakfast? I LOVE breakfast! No wonder so many of the guys like her. She makes them feel special, makes them feel like she is totally into them at first meeting. She seems easy to talk to as well because she agrees with EVERYTHING a man says. I don't think either wants to get married but then I don't think any of the guys actually want to settle down (maybe the one with the accent from Kentucky that's into Kaitlyn)

[fishcakes]

I've only seen a few episodes here and there of The Bachelor/ette and I've never seen either Kaitlyn or Britt before, but going off last night alone, I'm hoping Britt makes it through. Both of their personalities are fake, but of the two, I find Kaityn far more annoying. I didn't even notice the mouth thing, but she's not funny and that "haw haw HAW" laugh of hers is like nails on a chalkboard.

 

How many of the guys have regular jobs? I assume things like, "Automotive Spokesman" or "Student/Stripper" just mean "Unemployed." "Junkyard Specialist" is "Chronically Unemployed." And "Amateur Sex Coach" (maybe "Healer" as well) = "Pervert, Also Unemployed."

Edited May 19, 2015 by fishcakes

[Tetraneutron]

Why is everyone acting like choosing the contestant is some new twist? Way, way back in one of the early seasons, when the show still pretended it was about a fairy-tale romance instead of embracing the trashfest, the women got to pick between two men on the first night. A fisherman (I think?) won and the other guy was never heard from again. So they've done this before.

Also, for some time now I think they've had trouble finding contestants. It seems more obvious that there are a few there just to fill out the numbers. Last year one of the women was a plus-size model. She was lovely, but on this show? You know they weren't counting on her staying. There must be a nationwide shortage of dudebros and whatever the female equivalent is.

[Bobcatkitten]

I was appalled at how a few of the guys  - Cory and David I think - went to one of the ladies first, barely looked at them and moved on to the other without saying anything. It was so dismissive. 

 

Overall I don't like how they took a show where the women hold the power to make it a beauty competition basically where the guys are in charge. Also, when one lady gets picked I think it's odd that all the guys who voted for the other women are stuck trying to fake a relationship with someone they weren't really interested in.

 

Britt's makeup from the Bachelor to now is like night and day. It's so soft and light and no crazy eyeliner. 

 

To be honest I'm not a big fan of either woman. Katelynn is a little to raw for my liking and Britt always has the same innocent expression on her face and I have no idea if she is real or fake. 

[KR Vermont]

Guys who have a decent work and social life wouldn't be particularly compelled to take time out of said good life to appear the fool on this shit-show, so you get a high percentage who want to market themselves (singers, actors, vintners, pantsapreneurs...) or are between jobs (Unemployed, with a capital U) or who can take a sabbatical from real life to play make believe and be edited to appear a shadow of your actual self in front of millions in perpetuity (more or less).

Or something like that.

I think I've gotten to the point that juvenile 20/30 somethings annoy much more than entertain. heh

[lulee]

This season on The Bachelorette, 'two very different women' (one's a brunette!)

and the other's a brunette except for the ombre in her hair.

 

Judging by last night, I'm not sure how much of this season I can stomach.

[JudyObscure]

The hilarious re-cap reminded me that Kentucky Joe said he wanted to live in," a mansion with a white picket fence."  Aren't those two different housing fantasies?  I thought the white picket fence went with the rose covered cottage. Maybe they do that to the mansions in Kentucky to keep the hound dogs in, I don't know.

 

Britt's makeup from the Bachelor to now is like night and day. It's so soft and light and no crazy eyeliner.

Huge improvement!  I was expecting to see her old yellow foundation clashing with the magenta lipstick and I almost didn't recognize her.

[MakeMeLaugh]

Thought it was hilarious that Kaitlyn could id that "lawyer" stripper from across the room from his hip action--girl knows her male exotic dance moves! Umm, don't lots of birds know how to return home and wouldn't you find that out before making it part of your permanent ink record? I hope she explains all of her tattoos--maybe they could have their own reality show! Or at least her mouth could--if she is the chosen one there will be lots of quack quacking in the MML house every week.

When Britt told maybe the dentist? that she was there only to find a husband, he looked like he was going to bolt, he was so terrified. Lighten up, prom queen! She sponsors a kid and faith is very important to her and that looked like a glass of iced tea she was downing vs Kaitlyn's white wine, so I am pretty sure she is not tossing her hair with those head moves but just making sure her halo is still in place. If she is the chosen one the fantasy suites will be in a church.

Is it wrong that I want Ryan M to be the next Bachelor? Total producer plant, imho.

[Shibori]

I really wanted one of the guys to bust out some really obscure passion to see if Britt would still find a way to agree that it was her favorite too. Especially after her comments about loving baseball for the social aspect: 

Guy: I'm a Proust scholar, working on my PhD in French Literature.  Britt: I LOVE books, how they have pages and covers and things!  I saw one once!

Guy: I'm a trust fund baby and I play on the US Polo Team.  Britt:  Ponies!  I love ponies!

Guy: I fish for wild salmon off the coast of Alaska.  Britt:  I love fish!  Did you ever find Nemo?

Guy: I'm a physicist, I'm studying neutrino oscillations.  Britt:  I watched Big Bang Theory once!  It's my favorite show!

 

I can't stand Britt but I'm almost rooting for her since this bunch of guys seems like loser city.  I can't stand Kaitlyn constantly making duck lips, but I do appreciate she brought the snark about how ridiculous and awkward the whole situation was.  To me, it looked like Britt felt the same way, but the wheels were spinning in her head trying to say something positive in response.  I can see how that would divide a group of potential suitors- one group may be prefer the honesty (even if raw) others may appreciate that Britt makes a conscious (if fake) effort to play the part.  

 

I did feel like Britt came just shy of straight up saying she assumed she'd win over Kaitlyn.  Her comments suggested that she felt that if she just played the role of the perfect bachelorette (angelic in white!), it'd be her.  I'm here for love!  To find a friend and husband!  All the usual nonsense people on this show say.  She had a few comments that read as: of course it'll be me, I mean, Kaitlyn? Really?  No competition.  She seemed genuinely stunned that the guys showed any interest in Kaitlyn.  She said something to the effect that she expected to be the one coming in and was surprised that some guys favored Kaitlyn.   That may be editing, but it does reiterate her behavior with Chris where she threw a tantrum when someone else got more attention.

 

I love that Kaitlyn got moonshine and a hockey puck, and Britt got sarcastic Kleenex.

Edited May 19, 2015 by Shibori

[reggiejax]

I don't think drunken douche Ryan was faking it. It is well established that pretty much the only activity in the Bachelor mansion for which there is no prohibition (no pun intended) is drinking. We always get one person who has had way too much. Frankly, I am certain it happens quite a number of times during the filming of any particular season. But we only get to see the ones that are good for the show. Usually those that occur on the first night, and usually cases where someone getting epically wasted and makes a scene. And Ryan's drunken idiocy set a new standard for this franchise, which is saying something.

[Branchop]

I honestly have no idea what happens - but I get the feeling they are keeping both girls. Whichever box the bachelor puts the Rose in, is the Bachelorette they are vying for.

They kick one off so we are down to 24 guys - 12 per girl.

Otherwise those guys that came there just for "Britt" or just for "Kaitlyn" will be at a severe disadvantage at the first RC.

If I am wrong, then I am pulling for Kaitlyn

[Bobcatkitten]

Lots of women have been falling down drunk on the Bachelor and they never got kicked out. Wonder why the double standard for Ryan?

[saber5055]

I think Ryan was drunk.  Who would say "Why am I not raping you right now?" on TV?  He will regret that one as well as calling the girls hoes.

 

 

All I could think of was where he works and what his life is going to be like when he goes back to his co-workers, friends and family. That stuff is "pretty funny" when you're in high school, not so much when you are supposed to be grown up.

 

Does anyone remember where he was from and what his designated profession is?

 

did Ryan M. say "Chris Hanson???" when they called him outside?

 

 

Kimmel showed that clip on his show last night and commented Ryan would be meeting Chris Hanson later on his Predator show.

 

I first noticed Kaitlyn's duck lips on TB, the episode when Chris sent her home. Now they are all I can see, it's like she's botoxed them. I swear, botox, not her "pursing" them. Good grief, they are more aggravating for me to see than Andi's Grumpy Cat mouth.

 

I was rooting for the Kentucky guy since his promo showed him with thoroughbred race horses. He's already in my final three if I were b-ette.

 

The farm boy has absolutely NO chance of being next Bach. Chris Soules ruined that occupation for a long, long time.

 

I did laugh at the cupcake mobile. Where on earth would one even find something like that?

 

Sorry, I don't know names of any of these guys and won't for about six or seven more episodes.

 

Hate the woman competition making both Britt and Kaitlyn look like desperate losers, but it's certainly in keeping with the Fleiss MO.

[ennui]

I thought it was cliché to put the blonde in the white dress and the brunette in the black dress, but I do want those gemstone pear drop earrings that Britt wore. Anyone?

[ElectricCityy]

They probably would've kept Ryan for drama's sake had he not slapped Kaitlyn's ass. The premise for this premiere is degrading enough as it is and he was just making things worse.

 

It was hilarious watching Britt mold herself to every single guy. Kaitlyn just had normal conversations with them. For that reason alone Kaitlyn should be the b'ette.

 

Can't say much on the guys so on a shallow note, few are good-looking. One of the Ben's has a face where I really can't decide if he's cute or not.

[saber5055]

The guys are so boring and predictable and they don't wear hair-dos and dresses for us to make fun of.  Well, most of them don't.

 

 

This made me laugh because it brought back memories of a past B-ette season featuring the guy who wore the white woman's tank top in "the house" that we all watched for and commented on. Plus, be forewarned there will be many closeups of guys grooming themselves and admiring their faces and bodies in mirrors this season! There will be plenty for us to make fun of, trust me!

 

It was hilarious watching Britt mold herself to every single guy.

 

 

I don't know. I have a very wide and eclectic area of interests and can carry on a conversation on almost any topic. If I were on this show, I'd probably come off looking the same as Britt. I can talk to any guy about anything because I really do have an interest in or some knowledge about it.

 

You will notice, however, Britt did NOT mold herself to the sex coach guy shown in the final scene. So there's that in her defense. Editing, it's all editing, people.

Edited May 19, 2015 by saber5055

[MakeMeLaugh]

Ryan slipped on the edge of the pool (slippery, not uncommon place for non-drinking people to slip), but he never slurred his words, was not belligerent when asked to leave, etc. To me his lines were scripted or at least improvised with producer encouragement, but not drunk talk, and he was playing the part of obnoxious guy who will be asked to leave. Those two women last season with Chris S were way over the top re alcohol.

Mr MML and I usually skip the first episode because there are just too many of little b's then, so I think this season's ploy was smart re two big B's in competition to get viewers.

Edited May 19, 2015 by MakeMeLaugh

[JenE4]

Who else thinks Harrison ushered Ryan into the van and said, "Driver, to Mexico!" And Ryan is currently wandering around Paradise drunk waiting for the other contestants to show up?** If that guy isn't on Bachelor in Paradise, then it's the biggest miss this series has ever made.

 

**Actually, crazy Ashley is probably already there, too. Could you imagine these two actually trying to have a conversation with each other?

Ashley: Hey, look! Is that a pomegranate? It's a pomegranate! Touch it! I feel so powerful!

Ryan: I have something powerful you can touch right here! [gestures to his crotch]

Ashley: Your aura is amazing! Do you hear the spirits in the wind? They're telling me...

Ryan: I'm all horned up!

Ashley: Oh, look it's a raccoon! [wanders off after the raccoon]

Ryan: [yells at no one] Is that raccoon disrespecting me?! [swigs his drink and cannonballs into the pool]

 

Oh, back to this episode... I can't believe I forgot to mention how Ryan fell by the edge of the pool, completely rolled across on his side and did not spill a drop of his beer! That was impressive!

[chocolatine]

All I could think of was where he works and what his life is going to be like when he goes back to his co-workers, friends and family. That stuff is "pretty funny" when you're in high school, not so much when you are supposed to be grown up.

 

Does anyone remember where he was from and what his designated profession is?

 

He's a "junkyard specialist" from Kansas City. I've read that he used to date Nikki before she went on Juan Pablo's season.

 

If that guy isn't on Bachelor in Paradise, then it's the biggest miss this series has ever made.

 

 

I think he might be too much of a liability. If he manhandled one of the female contestants or threatened to rape her, she could sue the production company or ABC.

Edited May 19, 2015 by chocolatine

[saber5055]

He's a "junkyard specialist" from Kansas City.

 

 

Thanks chocolatine. I guess he won't have to worry about getting teased or disrespected by his co-workers or fired from the company then since he either works for himself (dumpster diver/trash reseller) or doesn't work at all. No wonder he took advantage of ABC's FREE! alcohol and expenses-paid trip to California.

[Shibori]

With this group of useless guys, I'm secretly hoping they're doing a Bravo-style companion/web show called Last Chance Kelsey, where the eliminated guys have to go to a deserted island and Kelsey has to compete against the eliminated Bachelorette for the men.  

[pagooey]

So, is "Amateur Sex Coach" Canadian for virgin?

[Moxie CrimeFighter]

Well I WAS Team Kaitlyn, mostly because I can barely stand Brit, but I found myself almost rooting for Brit simply because of her pretty white dress. Also she toned down her makeup. Still horribly fake though. Really, I'm Team White Dress. I loved that dress.

 

I also noticed Kentucky Joe's obese dog. Poor thing. Most of these guys look like duds, but I always think that on the first episode. Hope I'm wrong. The only one I noticed (besides the gross ones, you know who you are) was the Ryan Gosling-esque personal trainer who had chemistry with Kaitlyn. He has potential.

[leighdear]

I would imagine that everybody that has ever known or currently knows Ryan McDill is completely aware of exactly the kind of person he is.  People don't become "that" overnight.  

 

It still amazes me that his shirt was unwrinkled and perfectly tucked into his pants when he was facing The Wrath of Harrison.  A wet Speedo would have left damp areas on the back of his trousers.  I'm still not convinced he was that drunk and quite a bit of time passed between the swimming exhibition and his exit. Maybe production tidied him up & got some coffee into him.  

[OnceSane]

One of the guys, think it was Shawn, had a little bit of a Ryan Gosling thing going on. 

 

Never heard the phrase "white boy drunk" in my life.  Is that a thing?

I've heard "white boy wasted" before.

[Alison]

This is the first time I've ever watched an episode of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, but am I naive in thinking they're setting us up for a tie? Sending Drunky McGee home leaves us with 24 men, right? By my count, we saw 6 confirmed Kaitlyn votes last night and 7 confirmed votes for Britt...

[ljenkins782]

 

Can't say much on the guys so on a shallow note, few are good-looking. One of the Ben's has a face where I really can't decide if he's cute or not.

I thought a lot of them had that two-face thing going on, they'd look sorta cute from a certain angle and then not at all from another. This is my first B'ette season and compared to the many, many beautiful women on the Bachelor, I was surprised at how few attractive men there were. 

 

I was thoroughly entertained by the hometown videos though, what was up with the all hip swinging model walks going on? I get that it must be awkward to have a camera in front of you and have to try to act natural walking toward it, but those montages were hilariously bad. 

 

I can't remember too many specifics of any of them, but I kinda liked Ryan Gosling-guy and I liked the dentist in the Cupcake mobile bit, but he has a creepy-intense eye contact, close talker thing that is off-putting. The other guy who stood out was the first guy in the video montage (black man who has a son). I kinda liked him in his first moments and then over the course of the show, he started to wear me out even through the TV. Too much jittery head bobbing when he talked, plus serious crazy eyes to the point that I started wondering if he was on something. I could see the entire whites of his eyes half the time. Creepy ass "amateur sex coach" needs to go immediately. If I were Britt, I would have had that asshole escorted out after that creepy one-on-one. 

 

The rest mostly blended in for me. 

 

 

I was thoroughly disgusted with the men who boiled it down to the two women still competing over all the men.  That is such a gross dynamic in a show that is already sort of gross.  The fact that some of these guys were OK with the women fighting over them instead of getting to know them....  I know, I know -- the premise is a joke by now.  But it was very hard to watch the limo intros, and watching the women's issues come to the forefront, when it's supposed to be a woman's season!  Blech.

There was a really gross undercurrent to the show. The mad scrambling once the voting booth opening was announced totally creeped me out. 

 

Britt drives me nuts with her thoroughly fake persona (when she drops the canned pageant shit, which unfortunately didn't happen much last night, she's much more palatable), but I think in a real-life, non-producer-driven scenario, she probably would win the "first impression" contest over Kaitlyn hands down. She's obviously good at drawing people in, which is good for this type of thing.

 

As we saw on her season, she's a 10 to 0 type, comes out strong out of the gate and then proceeds to drop the facade little by little until she drives you nuts. Kaitlyn seems like the type who may not make as good a first impression but probably gets better with time and familiarity. For that reason, I'd rather see Kaitlyn over the length of the season. 

 

 

Or she said it a couple of times and they edited it in 9 times. I know at least several of them were the same one repeated by the editing monkeys.

The looping soundbites were driving me nuts. By the end of the show, I swear I'd heard the same 3 quotes about 15 times. 

 

 

Drunken Idiot was good for a laugh or two but only the presence of cameras and security kept him from taking at least one punch.  Chris Harrison's extra-serious camp counselor face and hackneyed phraseology ('You're not here for the right reasons' [Drink!]) were comedy gold as well.  They keep the drunk girls in the house but turn the drunk males out?  Double standard!

It was genuinely disturbing to watch the guy wrack his brain trying to remember heckling the sex coach douche, it looked like he truly did not remember something that happened an hour or so ago. 

 

BUT the whole "never mind the blackout drunkenness, aggressiveness, disrespectfulness, and handsiness with the women, we are REALLY sending him home because his heart is not pure" bullshit was ridiculous. 

 

 

That being said, I wonder if Chris will say "if anyone here doesn't want to continue, there's the door" and if anyone will walk out. That would be totally gross, awkward and perfectly in line with this franchise.

Lol, that would absolutely fit in with the theme of this season in particular. Would not surprise me in the least to see this happen. 

[Wouldofshouldof]

I don't think drunken douche Ryan was faking it. It is well established that pretty much the only activity in the Bachelor mansion for which there is no prohibition (no pun intended) is drinking. We always get one person who has had way too much. Frankly, I am certain it happens quite a number of times during the filming of any particular season. But we only get to see the ones that are good for the show. Usually those that occur on the first night, and usually cases where someone getting epically wasted and makes a scene. And Ryan's drunken idiocy set a new standard for this franchise, which is saying something.

I loved how he kept declaring "It's so dead in here, anyway," like he thought he was in a night club and he and his posse needed to go try their luck at another one.

 

Didn't we see those cupcake mobiles on TAR?  I think I remember Rachel tooling around in one (pun intended, if women can be tools).

[KR Vermont]

Dave Letterman maneuvered a cupcake mobile around his stage bumper car-style a while back.

[seacliffsal]

I watched the show today on DVR so my thought about Ryan is that the reason they showed him the way out is that he....messed up the rose and did not 'vote' for either Bachelorette.  I think that and that alone is why he was sent away.  We've seen drunks insult everyone around them, go into the pool, etc.  But we've never seen someone destroy the rose.  Serious stuff.  Good-bye (I am glad he's out and it bothered me how he was touching both women, but seriously it's the rose....)

[Kbilly]

Ian was very handsome and well-spoken and Not Ryan Gosling seems verrry smooth. I laughed at the hockey "I want to puck you" thing and I liked Cupcake Dentist and how he was so into Kaitlyn. 

 

 

hate when some of the guys think they have to go "police" the drunk guy -- going to have a talk with him and such. Just leave it alone

 

Yeah, he is horned up talking about raping people and over-quoting Swingers and you're thinking it's a good time to discuss how he insulted your pool car? Stupid. Although I did love how that one guy confronted him about slapping Kaitlyn's butt, which I thought was very gentlemanly.

 

Some of the guys were throwing major shade at Kaitlyn, enough so that it will be awkward if she's chosen. We will all know their reasons are not right!!!!!

 

The Welder reminded me of Sean with his gingery complexion but he was so tall and big I found that very attractive. I would love if he really made that metal rose but I don't trust anything with these production people.

 

And also: Astronaut Wives Club? Really??

Edited May 19, 2015 by Kbilly

[Rhondinella]

They probably would've kept Ryan for drama's sake had he not slapped Kaitlyn's ass. The premise for this premiere is degrading enough as it is and he was just making things worse.

 

 

I assume that he crossed the line with not only the ass-slap, but more importantly the comment about sexually assaulting someone.  Even if it was in jest (which . . . no), the producers might have realized he was a law-suit waiting to happen.

 

sarcastic Kleenex

 

 

is my new band name.

[Padma]

Why can't we know what these guys really do (like "chronically unemployed")? The "amateur sex therapist" is the weirdest non-job ever. I thought it meant, "I watch a lot of porn on the internet". And when he was saying gross and inappropriate things to Britt about anal sex toys (what?), didn't he explain "amateur" as meaning that "I haven't experienced these things yet so I can't coach people until I have"?

 

Do the producers hate these two? This has got to be the most awkward and degrading set-up in B-ette history, and the worst collection of men ever.  Only a handful seem even potentially date-able, much less "the man of my dreams". (I did love the guy who did the drawing of CH on a triceratops--but only because of the drawing. I have no idea about him at all, but at least he brought a wonderful gift.)

 

If Kaitlyn "wins", she will also be the least interesting and least attractive bachelorette ever, and that includes Jen Scheft who had so many great guys and couldn't have cared less.  If it turns out to be Britt, at least I'll be able to watch, because I prefer her fake perfectly mannered self control over Kaitlyn's nervousness and inappropriateness. But with that kind of opener, and that group of men (half of whom probably didn't even want to stay after they lost the vote), I just can't see this being much of a season.