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pagooey

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  1. pagooey

    All Episodes Talk: All Rise

    I am still a bit hung up on Her Honor's one-case ponytail situation, and during one of yesterday's new cases began to wonder...do we think her standard short-n-sassy do is perhaps a wig? I mean, she could afford a better one than every litigant who's shambled through the courtroom with a luridly dyed muskrat atop his or her head. I don't know; she was looking teased and fluffed to high heaven (the higher the hair, the closer to God!) and suddenly it struck me differently. My very glamorous (and...vain) great aunt used to get her bouffant 'do "set" on a weekly basis at the beauty parlor...but then she ALSO had a wig, the same color and style, which accompanied her to the salon every week, too. So she'd wear her real hair until it got a bit mashed and misshapen, and then pop the wig on, for continuity until her next appointment. Maybe JJ's hair is on a Styrofoam head in the makeup trailer...and as someone upthread suggested, the stylist had a sick day. 🙂 Having an off-duty ponytail might allow JJ to roam around Florida relatively incognito!
  2. pagooey

    All Episodes Talk: All Rise

    An idiot tax on your idiot tax! Wow.
  3. pagooey

    All Episodes Talk: All Rise

    Oh my god, BusyOctober. I loved KITH and was a grown-ass woman when I discovered them (still am, only more so!), but the Chicken Lady always freaked me right the eff out. This case is on my DVR for weekend viewing, and now I am excited and childishly terrified in equal measure.
  4. pagooey

    All Episodes Talk: All Rise

    Whatever kind of sum she received, that 'un can retain the "lump" title. <ba-dump bump> In that case, I noticed that the beaming, rotund Plaintiff ex and the vocabulationarily-challenged Defendant each had a case of the pop-eyes; I could see the whites all around Def's eyes as she defended her unfat nearly-nekkid boudoir portrait. I think Jimmy has a type...devoted to a very VERY specific feature, oddly enough. I thought it was interesting that JJ seemed to go from a "quinceañera what now" position to pronouncing it quite well; I wondered if she elicited the definition for the viewers' benefit. She's lived in New York and Florida; surely it's not a new concept for her.
  5. pagooey

    All Episodes Talk: All Rise

    All you need is a broom/mop handle with which to jab the button. I was forced to get a smoke alarm that freaking talks and goes off when I cook. The handles work just fine! This made me laugh, because my 70-year-old mama has also been instructed to quit messing with ladders and stepstools, and she just whacks at her smoke detector with a broom handle, too. Patti, this is another solid argument I can use to bolster my firm belief that HOUSEWORK IS FRAUGHT WITH PERIL. You were just trying to vacuum and nearly set the house ablaze; cleaning is obviously far too dangerous! Aww. We did this in our house, too! Grew up with my sister, our single mom, and our grandparents. Nobody was much of a cook, alas, though my sister and I taught ourselves as adults when we got tired of our sad Rice-a-Roni skillz. Meanwhile, my grandpa's night of the week was Friday. I think he cooked two terrible meals in the rotation; he couldn't coordinate the timing, so we would all sit down to a round of eggs...and then after ten minutes there was toast...and then some bacon a while later. After that, he took us out to dinner every Friday night until he died, bless his heart. :)
  6. pagooey

    All Episodes Talk: All Rise

    That dog was better dressed than most of the litigants we see in Her Honor's courtroom, HEYOOOOOOO Watching JJ bat that drunkard dipshit teen around like a cat with a mouse was the most fun I've had in ages (and possibly the most fun she's had in ages). When she busted out the pantomime violin I died a little. Though, to switch tone wildly--Patti, I'm sorry about your brother. Truth be told, most of the litigants we see should be grateful they've survived to mortify themselves on national television.
  7. pagooey

    All Episodes Talk: All Rise

    Is Sarah Palin's brood up to their antics again?
  8. pagooey

    S05.E09: Starvation's Shadow

    I realized that I've fully aged into Judgy McJudgerson, Neighborhood Crank status when my response to this moment was "Get a job, manchild!" What is Sam, 25, 26? With two small children at home, but he can afford to dink around in the wilderness for 1-3 months? Hhrmmph. (I'm also both amused and irritated by Sam's very vocal pride in his half-assed craft projects, like the greatest spoon ever carved and the rickety wilderness Squatty Potty. Meanwhile, Britt's building a damn sled and whittling semi-intricate ornaments. I wonder if Sam has a lot of Participant trophies at home...?) I worried for Fuckin' Larry when he climbed that mountain; completely shocked that he didn't follow that up with the traditional tap! I also laughed when he mentioned that last time, he craved and missed sweets, because you don't say, Mr. Tower of Bakery Boxes. I think Larry and I would get along in real life, with our sugar cravings and gutter mouths and jobs that are...just jobs. I don't know if he's got it in him to win this thing, but dammit, I still like him. Dave, good luck. You were always a little too deliberately kooky for my taste, but with a proper haircut and some meat on your bones you're a handsome dude. Do keep all your own teeth in your head if you can, please. Britt is the most entertaining and interesting to watch, for me. I love that he experiments, thinks it through, makes mistakes and attempts to learn from them. I think his attitude might be the thing that propels him to the win.
  9. pagooey

    Dr. Pimple Popper

    I thought Armpit Tit Bride might have been waiting to schedule her wedding until her fiance graduated high school, because he looked like one of her passel of kids. (Also, I'm fully committed to going to hell anyway, so: maybe she could use a consult on those nostrils while we're at it? I thought I glimpsed her brain up there.) Affect-less tech bro from Seattle, with a giant house full of computer and motorcycle shit but no furniture? Dollars to donuts that clown is one of the legion of Amazon dudes who are overrunning this town, ugh. I suspect that HE has plenty of health insurance, for all he's using it. That was the least sunny and jovial I've ever seen Dr. Lee, too, so it was obvious she straight-up loathed the guy. Heh. <sips coffee> hoo, I am cranky today!
  10. pagooey

    S05.E08: Slayer II

    F*ckin' Larry is waaaay too volatile to win this thing, methinks; when even the chyron is like "Mood swings...*cough*..." you know ya gots yerself some Larry! That said, I laughed and laughed at his manic declaration that he was going to name his Paiute traps! Give them names, awesome devastating menacing names! and then came up with Slayer and...Slayer II. Come on, that's comedy gold. Bless that crazy f'in man. I'm sorry to see Randy go...but his exit reminds me of something I've wondered since the beginning. For tappers with well-established campsites, there's that traditional time-lapse dolly shot where the shelter and site are taken down by magical elves someone to leave no apparent trace. I assume production does that, but it's so quick and seamless I can't quite figure out how. Do they truck in a whole demolition crew to remotest Mongolia and do it in an afternoon? Do they toss all the debris just beyond the parameters of that shot? Sam's hunker-down-and-starve-em-out strategy seems effective but utterly boring to me, and I keep waiting for Dave to need medevac services. I guess I'm in the tank for Britt? He seems to be the only one who's remembered some lessons from his first go-round, and is still considering and modifying his approach on a daily basis.
  11. pagooey

    Dr. Pimple Popper

    All right, I'm powerless to resist this damn show--I keep coming back week after week. Ernest Goes to the Dermatologist's shoulder cyst was the first time I covered my eyes, though: holy mother of god. Oatmeal??!? With respect to the good doctor, WHAT THE F*CK KIND OF OATMEAL YOU BEEN EATING LADY? I'm also stymied by the people who want to look at or HANDLE whatever glop has been extracted from their bodies; I would have ralphed right into that convenient emesis basin on top of...that. The woman and her brother with neurofibromatosis were absolutely devastating. I cannot imagine living with such a condition, and I wish them all the help and comfort anyone, anywhere can provide. I also think that this show is a quietly scathing indictment of the US healthcare and insurance system or lack thereof. People should NOT have to live with treatable conditions for years or decades, simply because they couldn't afford treatment until TLC stepped up to foot the bill. The patients we see with severe dental problems underscore this; even if you manage to get basic healthcare coverage, dental is a whole other ball of wax, handled separately if at all. I can't imagine the ongoing pain these people endure...neglecting a giant face boil or whatever while their teeth rot out of their heads. Medicare for all, goddammit. This is appalling. To end on a happier note, Dr. Lee is a saint. Maybe she's a little too sweet in hour-long doses, but I can only praise her compassion for and treatment of every patient, however troubled they might be. (Note to vericose veins woman: oh honey. Live your truth and more power to you...but I'm a year older than you and that Hot Topic lewk is not your friend. )
  12. pagooey

    S05.E07: Desperate Measures

    Yeah, shrieking "Calm the fuck down!!" at THE WIND is pretty much peak Larry. I give him major props for having the patience to make that net, though. (Maybe he does needlecraft in his spare time, to mellow out? I don't care if he does, actually--I want him to take it up, and for that to be a show, Fuckin' Larry embroidering a sampler.)
  13. pagooey

    S05.E05: The Bowels of Hell

    Jesse, you ATE A LOG in the space of 36 hours...and then you were felled by your inability to convert that log to a log. Ouch, man. I come from a long line of people with the tendency to get bound like a book, but two weeks??! Dear god. I guess I wish you Dr. Oz-quality perfect poops for the rest of your life. Fuckin' Larry, I want to keep liking you but please calm down. Perhaps screaming your nuts off over a single fish contributed to the head rush, my man. Maybe you could eat a little bit of the side of ham you seem to have brought with you? That might be my complaint about all of this season: the returnees are all too camera-conscious from the first go-round, and so the experience isn't fresh for them or for us. I appreciate that this show is trying new configurations in real time, but none of those seem to be working as well as the pure, gripping original-recipe Alone. Maybe it's run its course...? Sam is building the Three Little Pigs' house of straw. I think that none of the feeds are live, but they're all wearing some kind of motion-sensor monitor. If they go blank for a certain length of time, that triggers an alarm. Similar to the devices firefighters wear, that so memorably and horrifyingly were going off everywhere when the WTC towers fell. ETA biomonitors! Great minds think alike, etc. :)
  14. pagooey

    All Episodes Talk: All Rise

    Even bleeped! Heaven it would be. She did say "rat's ass" so maybe there's hope. I'm sure she says it in her head often enough. Occasionally she gets away with Yiddish that the censors don't know what to do with. I know she made my entire day by pointing out someone was schtupping someone else, once. :D
  15. pagooey

    S05.E02 The Haunting

    Brad, turns out you're made of a trendy haircut, sorry.
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