Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[PikaScrewChu]

4 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

Yikes.  Bates boys are 0/3 for first courtships.  Nathan has not found another girl yet.  It seems to be more than coincidental.  Wonder if prospective FILs are putting the brakes on because they worry about how their daughters will be supported?

Nah. Those girls were just willing to give up their first side hug to the first guy that came around. Skank!

That or Whitney told Chaney how much of a pushy MIL Kelly Jo is and to run. 

Oof. The only Bates son that has gotten married so far is Zach. I wonder if all of them are pompous, arrogant assholes then. If the Duggar boys can find wives it makes you wonder...

[SMama]

The Duggar boys find wives because JB financially supports them and their families.

[awaken]

Now trace is chewed gum. Pieces of his heart have been given away, never to be gotten back. 

[PikaScrewChu]

45 minutes ago, SMama said:

The Duggar boys find wives because JB financially supports them and their families.

Lawson was the one with a lawn care business. He does seem to have some business sense but Lawson only has one true love. 

Spoiler

Himself

It is very telling that while the Bates women have snagged fundie royalty as husbands, their brothers don't attract even the Caldwells, Kellers, or Swansons of this world. They are on a Christian network after all. I do think Gil and Kelly would have no issue supporting them if they finally decided to get married. 

Then again I suspect the Bates have this expectation that the daughters-in-law will have an education like their daughters do (even if it is at Clown College). No one is going to spend 4 years of college just to pump out 19 babies for Kelly and Gil, I mean Jesus. 

[Misslindsey]

15 minutes ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I do think Gil and Kelly would have no issue supporting them if they finally decided to get married.

I am not sure that Gil and Kelly would not have an issue supporting their sons if they got married. I remembering when Trace was going to graduate high school Kelly wanted to know what his plans were. I believe she said his choices were either to get a job or go to college.

Does anyone know if Nathan gets paid for whatever he does with flying? I thought he was in a different state working, but I am probably wrong. I know Lawson has his lawn business, which I think his brothers might do some of the heavy lifting since Lawson thinks he can be a musician. I think one of the other boys works for Chad. I have no idea what Trace does.

[3 is enough]

I think that Gil and Kelly simply cannot afford to support any of their married children.  Up does not pay them a ton of money, and they never had much to begin with.  For all Lawson’s faults, he made good money and I bet he helped his parents a lot more than anyone ever admitted.

[PikaScrewChu]

I truly believe the Bateses are not that much different than the Duggars. Gil and Kelly have had the advantage of watching the Duggars bumble through the media circus and as a result appear more savvy and "realistic". I really do not think they are all that different and would just suck up supporting one of their sons if it came down to it.

But I'm cynical and don't think much of the Bateses. The less women shackled to that clan, the better in my opinion. Run women ruuuuuun!

[Zella]

2 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

 No one is going to spend 4 years of college just to pump out 19 babies for Kelly and Gil, I mean Jesus. 

I wouldn't rule it out. I went to college with so many girls at a religious college who were only there for their MRS. They basically saw college as a way to meet a nice Christian boy who they'd marry right after graduation, but they never intended to work after they graduated because they'd be pumping out nice Christian babies. They'd get degrees in things like music or consumer sciences or education, with the thinking it would help them be good housewife homeschool moms who may pitch in at church to help with stuff like music. (Not necessarily knocking it--I am sure they would handle the housewife homeschool thing better than any of those poor clueless Duggar girls as a result.)

But my point is that I don't think it is improbable that the Bateses could find that if they looked in the right place. I suspect there is something super off-putting about the boys and the family behind closed doors (even more so than what we see) that is causing this flight of the courted girls. 

Edited February 4, 2020 by Zella

[Temperance]

2 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I truly believe the Bateses are not that much different than the Duggars. Gil and Kelly have had the advantage of watching the Duggars bumble through the media circus and as a result appear more savvy and "realistic". I really do not think they are all that different and would just suck up supporting one of their sons if it came down to it.

But I'm cynical and don't think much of the Bateses. The less women shackled to that clan, the better in my opinion. Run women ruuuuuun!

I get the sense that the Bates boys don't want fundie girls. They want girls who are little more worldly and make them change into Bates women. The exception is Zach who found a more worldly girl and seems less into the Bates lifestyle. 

42 minutes ago, Zella said:

I wouldn't rule it out. I went to college with so many girls at a religious college who were only there for their MRS. They basically saw college as a way to meet a nice Christian boy who they'd marry right after graduation, but they never intended to work after they graduated because they'd be pumping out nice Christian babies. They'd get degrees in things like music or consumer sciences or education, with the thinking it would help them be good housewife homeschool moms who may pitch in at church to help with stuff like music. (Not necessarily knocking it--I am sure they would handle the housewife homeschool thing better than any of those poor clueless Duggar girls as a result.)

But my point is that I don't think it is improbable that the Bateses could find that if they looked in the right place. I suspect there is something super off-putting about the boys and the family behind closed doors (even more so than what we see) that is causing this flight of the courted girls. 

I agree with at @PikaScrewChu. I have certainly known lots of fundie/fundielite/Christian girls who intend to be homemakers and aren't serious about school or a career, but there's a big difference between being a stay-at-home mom to even a larger family and leaving it up to God and having a double-digits sized family.

All three women are different I think. 

Sarah Reith was very fundie when she courted Zach. After their break-up, she underwent a make-over and became a different woman, more mainstream. She and her older sister have both had multiple engagement/relationships and then had them fall apart. Sarah got married last year to an older guy (about 10 years) and she seems happy. She was 30 when she got married. 

Ashley Sayler is a fundie from NYC. She seems fundie-lite to me. She's a city-girl and Nathan was country boy from Tennessee. It could work I guess, but it didn't. She's currently seeing someone new.

Chaney also seemed fundie-lite to me. She and Ashley certainly aren't IBLP and wore all kinds of clothes the Bates girls wear after marriage. Her family seems to value education. Some women don't mind quitting school to get married and some want to finish their educations and have a career. She also may feel young to settle down. I certainly did at her age.

[GeeGolly]

I agree with you all. It may be a little of everything mentioned, although with the exception of Lawson, I think the Bates boys are a tad more humble than the Duggar boys.

I wonder if when push comes to shove, the end game is a little scary for these girls. For Ashley moving from NYC to TN is change enough, but starting a young family with little chance to work outside the home seems like a life sentence to me and maybe it did her too.

I don't know where Chaney lives, but I wonder if the Bates family being on TV and all over the internet, reveals their game to many. She may have friends or family that looked them up and then they talked sense into her.

It seems every Duggar-in-law, whether male or female, were aware of the Duggar's extreme beliefs prior to, or soon after courting the kids.

And maybe Gil and Kelley trot out their own version of the Fundy spouse questionnaire and when they see that, they all run.

But when it comes down to it, dating and breaking up with one's first crush is rather typical. Not for a Gothard Fundy, but for the rest of the world.

[SMama]

I think Chaney lives in Texas, but I don’t recall the city.

Edited February 4, 2020 by SMama

[Guest]

16 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Traney are no more. Looks like he got dumped.

 

I am loving the unsubtleness of this "I'm all alone now" image. 

[SongbirdHollow]

18 hours ago, Temperance said:

The Bates need to copy the Duggar playbook for marriages when it comes to their sons. Find single fundie maidens who raised the same way as them. Chaney was in college and probably Kelly was putting pressure on her to drop out and marry Trace this summer. They need girls like Kendra, Lauren, Anna and Abbie, who don't expect too much and don't have other life goals beyond stay-at-home babymaker. 

Suggested courtships: Alison Bontrager, Maggie Burnett, Lauren Caldwell, Jana Duggar,  Sarah Waller (David's sister) and any number of Wissman daughters.

I see this breakup as a GOOD thing. Not for them personally because heartbreak sucks, but because it’s better to DATE and get to know each other instead of taking the first person that comes along or is picked for you. 

[libgirl2]

19 hours ago, Temperance said:

The Bates need to copy the Duggar playbook for marriages when it comes to their sons. Find single fundie maidens who raised the same way as them. Chaney was in college and probably Kelly was putting pressure on her to drop out and marry Trace this summer. They need girls like Kendra, Lauren, Anna and Abbie, who don't expect too much and don't have other life goals beyond stay-at-home babymaker. 

Suggested courtships: Alison Bontrager, Maggie Burnett, Lauren Caldwell, Jana Duggar,  Sarah Waller (David's sister) and any number of Wissman daughters.

Maybe they don't want any of them? 

[Temperance]

If the Bates boys want to date outside the cult or a cult, then they need to show they're open to some change. Most women do not want to have unlimited babies for Jesus no matter how cute the guy is. They don't want to give up the way they dress and they want more freedom than being Bates wife entails. 

Zach Bates is the only Bates boys who's married, because he was willing to change the most. The other brothers particularly Lawson and Nathan don't even seem to understand why they might want to change. Compromise can be key to a relationship, but these guys were raised to be headships and they make all rules and decisions and expect to be in charge. 

 

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, libgirl2 said:

Maybe they don't want any of them? 

I wonder if some of the Bates boys crave being headships to women who aren't already totally predisposed to having headships rather than hooking up with dowdy super-fundies whose wills have already been broken?

Whether somebody like Nathan, for example, actually craves the triumph of attracting a college-educated "hot girl" from the evil big world -- even the city! -- and then the further triumph of bending her to his will by converting her to full Batesism under his exalted headshipness....

This may just be my disgust at the arrogance I always imagine I see dripping off the Bates boys, of course....

Edited February 4, 2020 by Churchhoney

[galaxychaser]

Jill Rod has plenty of girls for the Bates. No bites or even nibbles for NotNuries.

[Lunera]

They looked happy during Christmas. I sure someone hinted to Chaney that an engagement was coming soon and the realization hit her. She would be having a baby every other year and stuck at home waiting on Trace. Chaney seems normal and probably wanted to have a normal relationship that lasted longer and where they got closer but it sucks that it can't happen without a marriage first. 

[MunichNark]

Wee Trace is as much of an arse as his brother Nathan😂😂😂

I commented that it isnt gentlemenly to point the finger at the girl and that breaking up is normal and a time to grow.

well...i was banned literally a second after clicking “send”. 

My my my, somebody’s touchy😂😂😂 that is why no bates boyo is getting within an asses’ roar of a girl. Good thing too

[3 is enough]

The comments on his Instagram page are so predictable.  One leg humper mentioned that her daughter also had a breakup and then actually linked her daughter's account.  Matchmaking much?  

[Lunera]

47 minutes ago, MunichNark said:

Wee Trace is as much of an arse as his brother Nathan😂😂😂

I commented that it isnt gentlemenly to point the finger at the girl and that breaking up is normal and a time to grow.

well...i was banned literally a second after clicking “send”. 

My my my, somebody’s touchy😂😂😂 that is why no bates boyo is getting within an asses’ roar of a girl. Good thing too

Trace only wants thoughs and prayers during this difficult time not a life lesson . 😒

As for Nathan, I think he showed his true colors on the show. I doubt he'll get hitched anytime soon he has really let himself go. 

[65mickey]

2 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

The comments on his Instagram page are so predictable.  One leg humper mentioned that her daughter also had a breakup and then actually linked her daughter's account.  Matchmaking much?  

OMG

[Heathen]

6 hours ago, 65mickey said:

OMG

Reminds me of Lydia of Purple and her daughter-pimping. 

[Temperance]

4 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Reminds me of Lydia of Purple and her daughter-pimping. 

I don't know who that is. Would you please fill me in on the information?

[sondraK]

I'm wondering about Nathan and Trace,as I don't watch the show.What have they done that's dickish? LOL

Edited February 5, 2020 by sondraK

[OpieTaylor]

Look at the paragraph below from JillRod's latest family newsletter (bolding mine); they're hoping people will help pay for their house renovations:

1) Our printing ministry has been growing in leaps and bounds.  We are over a million Gospel tracts printed now and still going strong!!  SO strong in fact, that we had to sell our last house and upgrade to a property with a larger space for the print shop.  Hallelujah!  The house portion of the new property needed renovations and an addition in order to be "workable" for our family, but we are excited to see God provide for each new phase of this house project.  It is slowly coming together, but we still have LOTS of building to do.  If you are interested in donating to this cause, please message us and we will give you the Clearing House Ministry address (all our support goes through them)  to send a donation to. If you have already given to this cause, we THANK YOU from the DEPTHS of our hearts!!   

[ginger90]

A video from the above blog entry:

 

 

 

[galaxygirl76]

1 hour ago, OpieTaylor said:

Look at the paragraph below from JillRod's latest family newsletter (bolding mine); they're hoping people will help pay for their house renovations:

1) Our printing ministry has been growing in leaps and bounds.  We are over a million Gospel tracts printed now and still going strong!!  SO strong in fact, that we had to sell our last house and upgrade to a property with a larger space for the print shop.  Hallelujah!  The house portion of the new property needed renovations and an addition in order to be "workable" for our family, but we are excited to see God provide for each new phase of this house project.  It is slowly coming together, but we still have LOTS of building to do.  If you are interested in donating to this cause, please message us and we will give you the Clearing House Ministry address (all our support goes through them)  to send a donation to. If you have already given to this cause, we THANK YOU from the DEPTHS of our hearts!!   

Grifters gotta grift. 

[Barb23]

2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

A video from the above blog entry:

 

 

 

Oh my.  The part where they are individually getting in the RV reminded me of loading up a Clown Car.  They just kept coming & coming.

The girl's wispy voices are too much.  Does Jill realize (normal) people don't talk like that?  

Any speech people out there who can explain the way the girls talk? 

[charmed1]

Interesting choice of music. Willie is diametrically opposed to every one of these people’s “political beliefs.”🙄

[crazy8s]

25 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

Oh my.  The part where they are individually getting in the RV reminded me of loading up a Clown Car.  They just kept coming & coming.

Does anyone else remember the finale to 7th Heaven when like 50 people get in the RV with the Camdens?? that's all I could think when watching the Rods seemingly endless boarding the RV. I wanted so much for someone to ask each what 3 things they were bringing 😂

[65mickey]

3 hours ago, OpieTaylor said:

Look at the paragraph below from JillRod's latest family newsletter (bolding mine); they're hoping people will help pay for their house renovations:

1) Our printing ministry has been growing in leaps and bounds.  We are over a million Gospel tracts printed now and still going strong!!  SO strong in fact, that we had to sell our last house and upgrade to a property with a larger space for the print shop.  Hallelujah!  The house portion of the new property needed renovations and an addition in order to be "workable" for our family, but we are excited to see God provide for each new phase of this house project.  It is slowly coming together, but we still have LOTS of building to do.  If you are interested in donating to this cause, please message us and we will give you the Clearing House Ministry address (all our support goes through them)  to send a donation to. If you have already given to this cause, we THANK YOU from the DEPTHS of our hearts!!   

Clearning House Ministry? I guess this is a way to avoid paying taxes as it is given to a non profit that in turn doles it out to deserving  godly folks. 

[Guest]

5 hours ago, OpieTaylor said:

Look at the paragraph below from JillRod's latest family newsletter (bolding mine); they're hoping people will help pay for their house renovations:

1) Our printing ministry has been growing in leaps and bounds.  We are over a million Gospel tracts printed now and still going strong!!  SO strong in fact, that we had to sell our last house and upgrade to a property with a larger space for the print shop.  Hallelujah!  The house portion of the new property needed renovations and an addition in order to be "workable" for our family, but we are excited to see God provide for each new phase of this house project.  It is slowly coming together, but we still have LOTS of building to do.  If you are interested in donating to this cause, please message us and we will give you the Clearing House Ministry address (all our support goes through them)  to send a donation to. If you have already given to this cause, we THANK YOU from the DEPTHS of our hearts!!   

These ministries exist to help people in dire financial need -- NOT two able-bodied overweight and out of shape procreators whose idea of "gainful" employment consists of printing simple-minded, hackneyed smiley Jesus pamphlets and handing them out to people who don't want them or only take them to get rid of the simpletons who are harassing them. 

They need to get some goddamned JOBS and pay for their own shit. And if their "faith" is so shaky that they can't walk amongst us godless heathens in our godless workplaces, then they have no faith at all.

[doodlebug]

12 hours ago, Temperance said:

I don't know who that is. Would you please fill me in on the information?

Lydia of Purple was a fundie blogger from years ago.  She named herself after a Biblical character (from Acts).  She had a bunch of kids, some approaching young adulthood.  She used to post pictures of her various daughters online, posed in their fundie best, along with captions proclaiming their virtue, housekeeping skills, cooking ability and all around suitability as fundie brides.  I seem to recall she also posted their preferences, like one wanted to marry a farmer and live in the countryside.  I seem to recall that one posed with various livestock from the Purple homestead. Unfortunately, Lydia's girls were not terribly attractive, their clothing was heinous and she was a terrible photographer; so the ads for the marriageable daughters were very snarkable.

Lydia unfortunately died after a brief battle with cancer.  Some of her kids were pretty small and her husband was the typical fundie guy; I'm sure he probably found a 20 year old to marry and raise those kids and give birth to the next batch shortly after Lydia's death

[louannems]

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

Lydia of Purple was a fundie blogger from years ago.  She named herself after a Biblical character (from Acts).  She had a bunch of kids, some approaching young adulthood.  She used to post pictures of her various daughters online, posed in their fundie best, along with captions proclaiming their virtue, housekeeping skills, cooking ability and all around suitability as fundie brides.  I seem to recall she also posted their preferences, like one wanted to marry a farmer and live in the countryside.  I seem to recall that one posed with various livestock from the Purple homestead. Unfortunately, Lydia's girls were not terribly attractive, their clothing was heinous and she was a terrible photographer; so the ads for the marriageable daughters were very snarkable.

Lydia unfortunately died after a brief battle with cancer.  Some of her kids were pretty small and her husband was the typical fundie guy; I'm sure he probably found a 20 year old to marry and raise those kids and give birth to the next batch shortly after Lydia's death

After a quick search of Colleen Sabin, I found all the photos of the daughters in their fundie best.  You were so right about the clothes!

[libgirl2]

24 minutes ago, louannems said:

After a quick search of Colleen Sabin, I found all the photos of the daughters in their fundie best.  You were so right about the clothes!

I just took a look. Wow, those are some unfortunate clothes. Yikes. 

[TresGatos]

2 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Some of her kids were pretty small and her husband was the typical fundie guy; I'm sure he probably found a 20 year old to marry and raise those kids and give birth to the next batch shortly after Lydia's death

Apparently you are psychic. I found a couple of threads that show he married a woman from the Philippines who was younger than his two eldest daughters and they have at least one child together. One of the daughters is taking care of a sibling with Downs Syndrome.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/16143-lydia-of-purple-is-turning-over-in-her-grave/

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/freejinger/lydia-of-purple-s-daughter-has-baby-t2694-s20.html#p82396 

[doodlebug]

33 minutes ago, TresGatos said:

Apparently you are psychic. I found a couple of threads that show he married a woman from the Philippines who was younger than his two eldest daughters and they have at least one child together. One of the daughters is taking care of a sibling with Downs Syndrome.

I might be psychic or that information might've been stored somewhere in my brain.  I've also followed fundies long enough to know that when the wife dies, the husband usually finds a young girl to marry to raise the kids and give him more blessings.

For those interested in seeing some photos of the Purple girls, this site has them as well as some updates on them.  I have no idea if the daughter who is 'always ready' still is.

https://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/145155705600/if-anyone-out-theres-been-fundie-watching-on-the/amp

Edited February 5, 2020 by doodlebug

[BetyBee]

I went down that FJ, Lydia of Purple Dad remarrying rabbit hole too. On my journey, I came across this little nugget of wisdom, which I think would apply to Duggars and their ilk:

Do as I say and not as I do,

Purge the content that's awkward for you!

 

[3 is enough]

Carlin Bates Stewart"s newborn daughter has a bad case of jaundice and is back in the hospital for a couple of days so she can be put under the lights. Cue the "mommy and sick baby glamour shot" instagram stories. Even though mom is worried sick she still had time to make sure her eyeliner was photo-worthy.  

I know it is a scary thing, and I hope everything is ok,  but I will never understand the need to document it on social media. 

Edited February 5, 2020 by 3 is enough

[galaxychaser]

3 hours ago, doodlebug said:

I might be psychic or that information might've been stored somewhere in my brain.  I've also followed fundies long enough to know that when the wife dies, the husband usually finds a young girl to marry to raise the kids and give him more blessings.

For those interested in seeing some photos of the Purple girls, this site has them as well as some updates on them.  I have no idea if the daughter who is 'always ready' still is.

https://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/145155705600/if-anyone-out-theres-been-fundie-watching-on-the/amp

The daughters are plain looking but the clothes yikes.

[Zella]

5 hours ago, doodlebug said:

I might be psychic or that information might've been stored somewhere in my brain.  I've also followed fundies long enough to know that when the wife dies, the husband usually finds a young girl to marry to raise the kids and give him more blessings.

For those interested in seeing some photos of the Purple girls, this site has them as well as some updates on them.  I have no idea if the daughter who is 'always ready' still is.

https://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/post/145155705600/if-anyone-out-theres-been-fundie-watching-on-the/amp

Wow, even with the warning that the clothing is hilarious hideous, I was still not adequately prepared for that. 

[ginger90]

3 pictures:

 

 

 

[Sew Sumi]

Poor Lydia is a little Stepford child. She does all the family's cooking and cleaning. 

[awaken]

Those form fitting V-neck shirts the Plaths are wearing are sluttish!  Hopefully Jill gave them a talking to. 

[Heathen]

Thanks, all who beat me to it. Lydia of Purple and the homely-ass daughters, and Emily and Dna, were my first nutcase fundies. "Sixth daughter is 19 and always ready." FOR WHAT, pray tell?! 

[ouinason]

All I can think of that last picture is that that girl needs a more supportive bra.

[Heathen]

47 minutes ago, ouinason said:

All I can think of that last picture is that that girl needs a more supportive bra.

Or a lightly padded one. Fundies are so damned weird. 

[Zella]

56 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Thanks, all who beat me to it. Lydia of Purple and the homely-ass daughters, and Emily and Dna, were my first nutcase fundies. "Sixth daughter is 19 and always ready." FOR WHAT, pray tell?! 

I kinda want to revise all my social media account descriptions to say "I'm 30 and always ready." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think my favorite part of that is it seems like it is intended as a dynamic statement, but it is accompanied by such a matter-of-fact period rather than an exclamation mark. 

[galaxychaser]

Always ready=joyfully available