Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[kalamac]

I hate the 3D ultrasounds. It always looks to me like the person is pregnant with a melting wax doll. Freaks me out.

[Portia]

7 minutes ago, kalamac said:

I hate the 3D ultrasounds. It always looks to me like the person is pregnant with a melting wax doll. Freaks me out.

I hate them, too! I always think of them as lumpy clay sculptures, but your melting wax doll analogy is great. I was quietly relieved when my daughter told me she wouldn't be getting one.

[BitterApple]

The baby looks like a mini-Chad, similar to the other two.

[Catfin]

Any news on Miss Nurie? 

[Sew Sumi]

No, nothing new. 

[Westiepeach]

I did have high hopes. The girl got GUM, for heaven's sake. If that doesn't say "imminent engagement" I don't know what does.

[Natalie68]

On 12/3/2017 at 10:14 PM, Tabbygirl521 said:

Dear God. 

That is one of the things I tried on a sick cat who wouldn't eat anything.  She thought that shit was the bees knees.  She also licked her own fanny so there's that.

[riverblue22]

I find myself worrying about poor Nurie.  If she doesn't get married to that guy, I will be very disappointed.  She needs to get away from those crazy people she lives with!

[Fuzzysox]

4 hours ago, Westiepeach said:

I did have high hopes. The girl got GUM, for heaven's sake. If that doesn't say "imminent engagement" I don't know what does.

I'm heartbroken for Nurie. The dreams we had of her escaping and getting all the food she wanted and not to mention that our dear Jill would make it the fundie event of the year have been shattered!! Jesus, why? Crying silently til the next suitor comes along. *sob*

1 hour ago, riverblue22 said:

I find myself worrying about poor Nurie.  If she doesn't get married to that guy, I will be very disappointed.  She needs to get away from those crazy people she lives with!

I think Jill got rid of the evidence of that guy coming around. I can't find any of the pictures that she posted nor the post she made about how he was grilled before he was allowed near Nurie. 

Edited December 6, 2017 by Fuzzysox

[SMama]

OTOH kudos to the young man for seeing the crazy and fleeing.

[BitterApple]

Poor Nurie. The guy she was courting seemed like a total whackjob, so if the Rodriguii were crazy enough to freak someone like him out, then yikes...

Well, at least she has her clearance bin Walmart mug to commemorate the relationship.

[Arwen Evenstar]

3 hours ago, Fuzzysox said:

I think Jill got rid of the evidence of that guy coming around. I can't find any of the pictures that she posted nor the post she made about how he was grilled before he was allowed near Nurie. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Fuzzysox.

Wwwwwwwhzt, what, what???? Wha5 about giving away pieces of her heart and all that jazz ?

[Temperance]

It makes me feel that my gut feeling/prediction is right. I tend to think as it stands that when they are old enough some of Jill R's kids will revolt and escape. Most of the other fundies we've seen have enough money that the kids worry about being able to provide for themselves in the real world.  Lack of exposure to the real world and the way they've been raised will stop some of them from leaving, but I doubt it will stop all of them. 

[Sew Sumi]

It didn't stop Cynthia Jeub. Google her or go to FJ where she set up a thread to ask her questions about her transition into the real world. If you aren't aware of her, you should be. Her writing is brutal, honest, and top-notch. She has a blog, but when she went into her last depression and took a long break, I unsubscribed. Google it. 

[Churchhoney]

Since we're on the topic of Cynthia J, here's a piece she wrote about the deficiencies of her homeschooling -- which, I will add, was conducted by parents who were way way way better qualified, and more interested in education, than JB and M ever were on the best days of their lives. 

And it's horrifying enough, told from the point of view of a kid with an ambition to be something other than than a SAHD and mother to millions. So one can only imagine how the Duggar Academy would look from the point of view of such a person. And perhaps why Duggardom has never yet given rise to such a person. 

https://www.responsiblehomeschooling.org/cynthia-jeubs-view/

[Sew Sumi]

Is this supposed to be the barn of the manger? I have no clue what Erin is going for here, but GO Brooklyn.

[madpsych78]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

Is this supposed to be the barn of the manger? I have no clue what Erin is going for here, but GO Brooklyn.

Is that Erin narrating? It sounds too low to be Erin.

[Lunera]

Zach and Whitney bought a home. I wonder if she's already pregnant again.

Edited December 7, 2017 by Lunera

[doodlebug]

On ‎12‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 7:08 PM, Genevrier said:

Oh my, ultrasounds have gotten much clearer since I had my soon-to-be 23 year old. 

That photo is from a 3-D ultrasound, not the regular real-time scan done routinely in pregnancy.  But, yeah, ultrasounds have gotten much better, the screens bigger, the details clearer.  3-D makes it possible to detect stuff like small cleft palates and other more subtle birth defects.  Very cool stuff.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Damn, I’m really sad about Nurie because I wanted her to be able to leave that crappy life of hers. I wonder what happened.  Even if not much happened in this courtship, between the purity cult beliefs, pieces of the heart, and the whole idea that marriage is the be all end all makes it a high stakes game emotionally on too many levels. 

The One God Has Chosen for You, AKA the first guy or gal that pays attention to you.  Whether or not we as individuals believe God had chosen someone for you, they take that belief seriously.  You would reasonably think then, that there would be a sense of obligation “to get it right”, but either way, they’re darned if they do and darned if they don’t.  No pressure, huh?

If a courtship dissolves, rather than chalking it up to someone not being The One, it’s seen somehow as a failure and that person is “damaged goods” for “giving away pieces of their heart”.  It also means status, privilege ,  relief from “jurisdictions “ if you’re a Duggar, and a certain sense of smugness that you will leaving home to cleave (in their case cling) to their new spouse.

Many world cultures don’t date, but rather seek out marriage, but at least work proactively to arrange or find a suitable match.  They don’t simply rely on kismet/God/etc to land a mate on their doorstep.  The SAHD beliefs lend a young lady to sit at home and wait, and wait, and wait, not allowed to do anything to change their fate.

It’s just really sad that these girls must really feel conflicted.  They’re torn between their only way out and being damaged when it doesn’t work out.  Just ask Sarah Reith, who dumped Zach Bates several years ago.  She’s still not married when I last checked.  It only matters in Fundie circles, because we know if Sarah had gotten to get a proper basic education, attend a good music school, live on her own, travel, have friends and boyfriends, her singleness would be more HER choice. But, no doubt she has to speak at churches and blog about how happy she is.  Marriage isn’t for everyone and not everyone wants to marry, and that is fine, but these Fundy girls have less agency over their own lives.

[lookeyloo]

41 minutes ago, Lunera said:

Zach and Whitney bought a home. I wonder if she's already pregnant again.

Sounds just like what Jana says she wants.  I wonder if Zach was a little "rough around the edges" and some of those girls couldn't see past it to know he would mature into a desirable spouse and Whitney did.  Or, just luck.

[Lunera]

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

Sounds just like what Jana says she wants.  I wonder if Zach was a little "rough around the edges" and some of those girls couldn't see past it to know he would mature into a desirable spouse and Whitney did.  Or, just luck.

Jana should have jumped on Zach when she had the chance. I don't think she though he was 'rough around the edges' he was just a doughy, typical country boy. I believe JB didnt think the family was good enough.  

They should have tried to arrange something between them after he was dumped by Sarah Reith. (BTW Sarah recently broke up her engagement)

The Duggar girls expected a real 'fundy prince' to come along but after they reached their 20s and Boob scared most of them away there were slim pickings and they settled with the first loser that came along. Jana doesn't seem to want to settle.

[Temperance]

I googled Sarah Reith. I remember she was on the Duggars show, wearing frumpy clothes and very thick eyebrows. (no judgement, just observation) Now her clothes look modern, she wears make-up and her brows are different. She looks good. According to the web, she and one of her sisters are around thirty. She has a band with her siblings (three of them all grown up).  She seems to be having fun. She doesn't seem to be nannying. She and her sisters seem very independent for their beliefs, but good for them! They do seem like a country song come to life, but not necessarily a fundie one. 

Edited December 7, 2017 by Temperance
four siblings including Sarah

[Marigold]

4 hours ago, Lunera said:

Jana should have jumped on Zach when she had the chance. I don't think she though he was 'rough around the edges' he was just a doughy, typical country boy. I believe JB didnt think the family was good enough.  

They should have tried to arrange something between them after he was dumped by Sarah Reith. (BTW Sarah recently broke up her engagement)

The Duggar girls expected a real 'fundy prince' to come along but after they reached their 20s and Boob scared most of them away there were slim pickings and they settled with the first loser that came along. Jana doesn't seem to want to settle.

Totally agree.

19K&C was at a high point and Jim Bob thought he was the king and all these princes would be clamoring for his kids.  

It was a huge fall for the Duggars.  Seems no one wants to get involved with them.  

[Lunera]

WTF. What kind of work they have that poor girl doing? I doubt she payed, more like she had to hand her money over to her headship and the selfish witch. 

[GeeGolly]

A Christmas concert? Surely the music must have been centered on Christ and not music featuring Santa, Rudolph, Frosty, Cindy Lou, the Grinch, etc. Listening to commercialized Christmas music with a beat is a ticket straight to hell.

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, Lunera said:

WTF. What kind of work they have that poor girl doing? I doubt she payed, more like she had to hand her money over to her headship and the selfish witch. 

Sometimes when you live with abusive parents, you do awfully nice things for them, in an unconscious, messed-up depressing -- and ultimately completely ineffective-- attempt to placate them and make things better and repay them for all the things they've falsely convinced you that they do for you and even atone for what you imagine your shortcomings are that they have to put up with. It's amazing how many very nice gifts abusive parents get from kids, in many situations, I'm afraid. 

And of course they then use this as proof of how great they are, creating a further mind-trap for the kids. 

Sickening story. 

Edited December 8, 2017 by Churchhoney

[lianau]

At least the kids  got to spend a few hours without their correctional officers.  

[mynextmistake]

3 hours ago, Lunera said:

WTF. What kind of work they have that poor girl doing? I doubt she payed, more like she had to hand her money over to her headship and the selfish witch. 

Why is Jill dressed like Whistler’s mother?

[Fuzzysox]

When is blessing #13 due?

We must start a prayer chain for those children that Jesus sees their plight and gives them all the food they can eat. I'm not joking either. It's hard not to worry about kids not getting enough food to eat. 

[Heathen]

1 hour ago, mynextmistake said:

Why is Jill dressed like Whistler’s mother?

Why is Chimp Face wearing what looks like track pants and a polo shirt? Only things that fit? The preschoolers hadn't finished doing the family laundry yet? 

[beckie]

How did her precious Nurie get the money to pay for the concert? Is she allowed to work outside the home? I thought that was a sin in Fundy circles.

[riverblue22]

3 minutes ago, beckie said:

How did her precious Nurie get the money to pay for the concert? Is she allowed to work outside the home? I thought that was a sin in Fundy circles.

I think she had a job last summer, maybe working for those evil Pearl people.

[Mollie]

38 minutes ago, beckie said:

How did her precious Nurie get the money to pay for the concert? Is she allowed to work outside the home? I thought that was a sin in Fundy circles.

For at least a year, Nurie has been making plastic jewelry and trying to sell it.

https://www.facebook.com/Nurie-Rodrigues-1040012752780891/

 

[GeeGolly]

32 minutes ago, Mollie said:

For at least a year, Nurie has been making plastic jewelry and trying to sell it.

https://www.facebook.com/Nurie-Rodrigues-1040012752780891/

 

And Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/glitshandmadejewelry  Under Nuri's picture it says shop owner - jrodriguesilovedavid

[ginger90]

Since August of 2016, she has made 29 sales. Her Facebook isn't current. I watched her most recent video about selling the jewelry.  In it she says the money is for a missions trip, and also things she will need going in to adulthood.  Interesting.

Edited December 9, 2017 by ginger90

[riverblue22]

She doesn't have an eye for design, that's for sure!

[Arwen Evenstar]

I have more respect for what Nurie is doing than the grifting of Dreck.

[mynextmistake]

I feel terrible for Nurie. I really thought the gum meant something.

[latetotheparty]

1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

I have more respect for what Nurie is doing than the grifting of Dreck.

I just keep thinking that bead money could buy food. 

[Temperance]

How far along is Jill? She looks really skinny for a pregnant lady, especially an older lady pregnant with #13.

It's hard to tell how much that Christmas concert actually cost. I'm hoping it was about ten bucks or less for the two of them. 

[floridamom]

I don't know, this  Jill R lady gives me the creeps as does her husband. As a mother, I find it very hard to take anything from my children that costs them money. I'd much rather have the joy of seeing them get ahead and do well for themselves. IMO, it was selfish of Jill to take her daughter's hard earned money. There's much more joy for me to know that my children are secure.

I feel badly for Nurie. She's what, 18? She's scrimping around making cheap plastic jewelry at home? That poor girl would do much better with a real-entry level job. Doesn't someone need a receptionist in their office? She'd make a steady pay check and actually HAVE SOMETHING for herself and those 'adult things' she's going to eventually need.

Isn't there some 'fundie type' person with a business to run that she can work for? Nothing sinful about that at all. 

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

I don't know, this  Jill R lady gives me the creeps as does her husband. As a mother, I find it very hard to take anything from my children that costs them money. I'd much rather have the joy of seeing them get ahead and do well for themselves. IMO, it was selfish of Jill to take her daughter's hard earned money. There's much more joy for me to know that my children are secure.

I feel badly for Nurie. She's what, 18? She's scrimping around making cheap plastic jewelry at home? That poor girl would do much better with a real-entry level job. Doesn't someone need a receptionist in their office? She'd make a steady pay check and actually HAVE SOMETHING for herself and those 'adult things' she's going to eventually need.

Isn't there some 'fundie type' person with a business to run that she can work for? Nothing sinful about that at all. 

Letting Nurie or any of the kids out of the house to actually work with and potentially get to know and become comfortable with people who aren't their parents is an invitation for the sprung kid to start talking about its home life. These parents will be extremely reluctant to do that, ever. They'd let the girls go to the Pearls because the Pearls are gurus who preach that children should be abused. So they're safe companions. But they couldn't be assured that most other people ever would be.

These kids have not just been hideously psychologically abused and, certainly, beaten, they've literally been starved. Parents who do that know they have to be extremely cautious about who their kids have the opportunity to talk to. 

These are parents who for years and years have taken multiple random long bus trips out of state to -- in my opinion -- avoid extended visibility to neighbors and others, avoid potential CPS scrutiny, and so on. Since they don't have a father who can "employ" the kids the way JB can, they may eventually be forced to let some of them work outside the home. But they won't come to that decision easily. 

[floridamom]

Churchhoney, I know it's HIGHLY unlikely that any of these daughters, Duggar OR Rodriguez will ever get to do anything in the real world. It's also selfish of the mothers who dump their responsibilities on these girls having to take care of the children their mother and father elect to continue having.  Your posts are always great and I learn something new when I read them. Thank you for your posts.

[queenanne]

6 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Letting Nurie or any of the kids out of the house to actually work with and potentially get to know and become comfortable with people who aren't their parents is an invitation for the sprung kid to start talking about its home life. These parents will be extremely reluctant to do that, ever. They'd let the girls go to the Pearls because the Pearls are gurus who preach that children should be abused. So they're safe companions. But they couldn't be assured that most other people ever would be.

These kids have not just been hideously psychologically abused and, certainly, beaten, they've literally been starved. Parents who do that know they have to be extremely cautious about who their kids have the opportunity to talk to. 

These are parents who for years and years have taken multiple random long bus trips out of state to -- in my opinion -- avoid extended visibility to neighbors and others, avoid potential CPS scrutiny, and so on. Since they don't have a father who can "employ" the kids the way JB can, they may eventually be forced to let some of them work outside the home. But they won't come to that decision easily. 

I still remember the breathless 16 (or whatever) and KC-era article I found on surprising and/or fun facts, which gasped something along the lines of:  "Sometimes instead of lunch, everyone in the Duggar family eats a yogurt!!11!!" 

Me, incredulously:  "Really, you ninnies?  You think this has anything to with cute, and/or fashionably thin, instead of in fact its being that the Duggars often don't have enough money to feed anyone more than a $1.19 dairy product apiece??"
 

[Arwen Evenstar]

15 minutes ago, queenanne said:

I still remember the breathless 16 (or whatever) and KC-era article I found on surprising and/or fun facts, which gasped something along the lines of:  "Sometimes instead of lunch, everyone in the Duggar family eats a yogurt!!11!!" 

Me, incredulously:  "Really, you ninnies?  You think this has anything to with cute, and/or fashionably thin, instead of in fact its being that the Duggars often don't have enough money to feed anyone more than a $1.19 dairy product apiece??"
 

Particularly when that yogurt is LOADED with sugar?  Yes, a better choice and fewer calories than the desserts they are supposed to taste like,  but it’s more economical for a large family to buy plain yogurt and add fresh fruits to it.  We know the Duggars can’t be bothered to keep up with the demand for fresh fruit.

[BradandJanet]

Poor Nurie is already in adulthood. She never had a childhood. I like bead earrings and some of hers are cute, but I make a point of avoiding anything that may have had its beginnings on the shelves of a Hobby Lobby. 

Edited December 9, 2017 by BradandJanet

[Marigold]

This is a bizarre thing to say but a Duggar boy would be a huge step up for Nurie.  

[McManda]

17 minutes ago, Marigold said:

This is a bizarre thing to say but a Duggar boy would be a huge step up for Nurie.  

Exactly why it'll probably never happen. JB won't have his sons slummin' it. (But really he probably just doesn't want Jill as an in-law.)

Selfishly I think Nuri deserves better than a Duggar anyway, but I'd be for it if got her some real food ... and maybe the bonus of a style update from modestly modern Jessa.

[RedheadZombie]

In that facebook video, Nurie could not look or act more like her mother.  She even does the thing with her eyes.