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Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)


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Isn’t it a little strange of Jill R. to boast about her devout, virginal daughter using the word “sluttish” to describe the typical American woman, or really about her using that word at all. Is that how innocent Christian maidens are meant to speak nowadays? Or assuming Nurie did not actually say any of this, what an unfortunate choice of phrasing for her mother to choose to ascribe to her.

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1 hour ago, Lunera said:

I wish our fundies wouldn't reuse names.  I initially read that as Josie (Duggar) is courting and thought "JB&M have finally gone too far in their quest for attention and getting their show back."

 

59 minutes ago, Genevrier said:

Isn’t it a little strange of Jill R. to boast about her devout, virginal daughter using the word “sluttish” to describe the typical American woman, or really about her using that word at all. Is that how innocent Christian maidens are meant to speak nowadays? Or assuming Nurie did not actually say any of this, what an unfortunate choice of phrasing for her mother to choose to ascribe to her.

Jill has a history of saying something, getting slammed for it, then recyclying it again, attributing her words to something someone else said.  For some reason, lately that 'someone' has been Nurie.  I don't know if it's because Jill's mad at Nurie, or Jill realizes that snarkers seem to have a soft spot for Nurie, so they'll give her a pass.  This last time even some of Jill's fans have put Jill on blast and the last I heard, Jill has gone underground to ride out the storm.  Never fear, she'll be back when she just can't stand the lack of outside attention anymore.

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8 hours ago, Genevrier said:

Isn’t it a little strange of Jill R. to boast about her devout, virginal daughter using the word “sluttish” to describe the typical American woman, or really about her using that word at all. Is that how innocent Christian maidens are meant to speak nowadays? Or assuming Nurie did not actually say any of this, what an unfortunate choice of phrasing for her mother to choose to ascribe to her.

I was wondering this, too. Is this really the way they talk, and teach their kids?  I grew up in a strict evangelical home where “oh my god” and “it sucks” were swear words that were never said (I still feel uncomfortable hearing them, and would never say that myself!). I can’t even imagine saying “slut” or “sluttish” in conversation with my mom!!  

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On 1/23/2018 at 6:19 PM, Marigold said:

I think jill made up Nurie saying "Oh Mother, the women don't dress so sluttish here, like they do in America"

 

But if Nurie really said that shit?  What a stuck up little brat. No wonder she isn't married. In addition to looking like a tacky outdated 70's mess, her personality is not very Christlike.  Any Christian guy would run from that self entitled attitude. 

You know things are really bad when the Duggars don't want them around.  :)

Yeah, but she;'s a brainwashed child. And a child brainwashed at least partly by starvation, a particularly cruel method for children. She's just a puppet of her hideous mother at this point. 

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1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

Yeah, but she;'s a brainwashed child. And a child brainwashed at least partly by starvation, a particularly cruel method for children. She's just a puppet of her hideous mother at this point. 

Agreed, I would totally make JillRod own "slut".  I would have overwhelmingly been schooled that Christians should use "kinder" language than that, and my mother would've intended it as no euphemism... my parents were totally against me namecalling anyone, partly because it showed that unbecoming unwomanly and un-evangelical anger (I have no brothers, so never had to learn what my parents would have told them).  I never had to unlearn "retard", for example, because I wasn't even allowed to call anyone "moron".

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12 minutes ago, queenanne said:

Agreed, I would totally make JillRod own "slut".  I would have overwhelmingly been schooled that Christians should use "kinder" language than that, and my mother would've intended it as no euphemism... my parents were totally against me namecalling anyone, partly because it showed that unbecoming unwomanly and un-evangelical anger (I have no brothers, so never had to learn what my parents would have told them).  I never had to unlearn "retard", for example, because I wasn't even allowed to call anyone "moron".

My fundie-lite friends (Catholic, evangelical, etc.) would probably not use the word "slut" for the reasons mentioned above. They would have a "polite" way to imply it. 

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8 minutes ago, Temperance said:

My fundie-lite friends (Catholic, evangelical, etc.) would probably not use the word "slut" for the reasons mentioned above. They would have a "polite" way to imply it. 

I always preferred the delicate British "no better than s/he ought to be", lol.  I think my mother preferred "disreputable".

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8 hours ago, Temperance said:

My fundie-lite friends (Catholic, evangelical, etc.) would probably not use the word "slut" for the reasons mentioned above. They would have a "polite" way to imply it. 

At my Southern college, that kind of girl would have been known as "cordial." (insert obligatory "bless her heart")

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6 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

JRod is what the British people would describe as “common as muck”. Hyacinth Bucket ( it's bouquet “) would definitely NOT be bringing out her Royal Doulton with the hand painted periwinkles for JRod.

AHHHH  NICE!!! (TM Onslow)

I guess no water side supper with riparian entertainments either!!

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Y'all, I cannot get over this outfit and pose. Let me be clear: my husband does not have a big problem with lusting after other women. He is, however, a fairly normal heterosexual male, and he has two working eyes.  If I were to show him this photograph and ask him, "What's the first thing you notice?", I am absolutely certain how he'd reply. And who can blame him? I can't take my eyes off Nurie's breasts, either.  How can Jill boast about her daughter's modesty yet allow her to dress in this unsightly, scoop-necked Eye Trap of a dress?  I keep imagining Jill directing the photo shoot:  "Sweetie, turn your body a little more away from the camera. Stand up straight, Darlin'. OK, now throw those shoulders back for Mama. A little further.  SMILE!"

Screenshot-2018-1-25 Sweet Fellowship Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other TLC Families Thread).png

Edited by Portia
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I was raised Fundie-lite.  (We went to church all the time and had to be obedient and "keep sweet" but my parents did approve of higher education and allowed us to occasionally date.  We had unreasonably early curfews, however.)  I think JillRod is angry at Nurie for wanting to go to Botswana and for wanting to marry and leave.

When I was a teenager, I was responsible for my younger siblings.  My mother would get angry if I even expressed a wish to attend an evening event at school.  I wasn't supposed to want to abandon my "duties".  Jill probably feels that Nurie has no right to want to leave her poor, sweet, long-suffering Mama.  Thus, she manages to vent about "sluttish" women and attributes it to that selfish older daughter who is supposed to be home taking care of all those little kids.

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3 minutes ago, NotFundie said:

I was raised Fundie-lite.  (We went to church all the time and had to be obedient and "keep sweet" but my parents did approve of higher education and allowed us to occasionally date.  We had unreasonably early curfews, however.)  I think JillRod is angry at Nurie for wanting to go to Botswana and for wanting to marry and leave.

When I was a teenager, I was responsible for my younger siblings.  My mother would get angry if I even expressed a wish to attend an evening event at school.  I wasn't supposed to want to abandon my "duties".  Jill probably feels that Nurie has no right to want to leave her poor, sweet, long-suffering Mama.  Thus, she manages to vent about "sluttish" women and attributes it to that selfish older daughter who is supposed to be home taking care of all those little kids.

Good point. That could well be the oblique shade thrown by an angry control freak like Jill the Makeup Glutton.

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I feel sorry for Nurie. The daughter of the beastly Jill and Chimpy, and the oldest at that. She's probably a decent-looking young woman, but she just looks horrible and OLD in those photos.

Beyond the terrible clothes (there's clearly a lack of money in that family, which Nurie can't help, and also a lack of taste which I'll also give her a pass on), the piled-on makeup is just cruel. She looks like a woman about to turn 40 and fighting it. And as @Portia pointed out, that side shot is anything but modest. 

Maybe some decent guy will be able to see behind the downmarket hooker makeup, ride to the rescue clutching a tub of face cleanser and a Forever 21 charge card, and rescue Nurie. 

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Quote

"What's the first thing you notice?", I am absolutely certain how he'd reply. And who can blame him? I can't take my eyes off Nurie's breasts, either. 

That's the "I'm meeting Commander Riker for a hot date in the holodeck in 5 minutes" pose.

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40 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I feel sorry for Nurie. The daughter of the beastly Jill and Chimpy, and the oldest at that. She's probably a decent-looking young woman, but she just looks horrible and OLD in those photos.

Beyond the terrible clothes (there's clearly a lack of money in that family, which Nurie can't help, and also a lack of taste which I'll also give her a pass on), the piled-on makeup is just cruel. She looks like a woman about to turn 40 and fighting it. And as @Portia pointed out, that side shot is anything but modest. 

Maybe some decent guy will be able to see behind the downmarket hooker makeup, ride to the rescue clutching a tub of face cleanser and a Forever 21 charge card, and rescue Nurie. 

I do too!  Unfortunately, for all the hope many of us have for Nurie, I believe she will be Jill2.  She has been raised in this insanity, so it would be next to impossible for her to start questioning the "truths" that have been ingrained in her.  This also makes me feel a little bit of empathy for Jill.  Remember while Nurie is 3rd generation, Jill is 2nd.  I believe she also is so indoctrinated by her parents that there is no turning back.  I remember watching her mother carry on at Amy's "funeral."  Right then and there I thought -- this is the fountain from whom all the crazy flows.  I find Jill's mother to be every bit as reprehensible as Jill herself ---  even more so because I think if Jill had the opportunity to live a more secular life, she would be a happy, successful business woman.  I also wonder how Jill is really handling the diagnosis of her next baby.  She has to be wondering why god would do this to her since she follows all the rules and is super special.  I'll bet it has shaken her world.  It seems as if she is in denial, but that will end when no. 13 arrives.  Believe me, I hate the way she treats her children and I think her own bad choices got her here, but I can't help but have a tiny bit of empathy for someone who never really had a chance at a normal life because of her own parents and is facing a very serious problem with her child's health.  

Now I feel dirty for offering empathy and defense to Jill.  I'll head off to the Silkwood showers!!

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I'm not expert on these religious types but it seems to me they aren't afraid of crude terms like "slut."  Don't they like to focus on Old Testament stories about sex and lack of modesty?  Jeremy had no problem lecturing the Duggar boys on masturbation for about an hour.  I'm not surprised to hear Jill use the word slut--when Gothard spewed forth all of those dress requirements and "eye traps" I can imagine that the word slut was applied to those who wore shorts, tee shirts, etc.

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3 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

I'm not expert on these religious types but it seems to me they aren't afraid of crude terms like "slut."  Don't they like to focus on Old Testament stories about sex and lack of modesty?  Jeremy had no problem lecturing the Duggar boys on masturbation for about an hour.  I'm not surprised to hear Jill use the word slut--when Gothard spewed forth all of those dress requirements and "eye traps" I can imagine that the word slut was applied to those who wore shorts, tee shirts, etc.

I guess. Using coarse language to cast insult and shame on ‘sinners’ is pretty much the opposite of Christ-like. They’re an odd bunch of Christians-very invested in Jesus’s death, which you’d expect, but not at all interested in his life. 

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On 1/25/2018 at 9:24 AM, Jeeves said:

I feel sorry for Nurie. The daughter of the beastly Jill and Chimpy, and the oldest at that. She's probably a decent-looking young woman, but she just looks horrible and OLD in those photos.

Beyond the terrible clothes (there's clearly a lack of money in that family, which Nurie can't help, and also a lack of taste which I'll also give her a pass on), the piled-on makeup is just cruel. She looks like a woman about to turn 40 and fighting it. And as @Portia pointed out, that side shot is anything but modest. 

Maybe some decent guy will be able to see behind the downmarket hooker makeup, ride to the rescue clutching a tub of face cleanser and a Forever 21 charge card, and rescue Nurie. 

I've said and thought this before:  in some angles and shots, due to the makeup, hair, and concave cheeks, Nurie looks like a 45-year-old hardbitten chainsmoking waitress, which is hugely counterproductive to marrying her off to any male remotely her contemporary or Christian.

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8 hours ago, queenanne said:

I've said and thought this before:  in some angles and shots, due to the makeup, hair, and concave cheeks, Nurie looks like a 45-year-old hardbitten chainsmoking waitress, which is hugely counterproductive to marrying her off to any male remotely her contemporary or Christian.

beth-howland-435.jpg?w=435&w=700&q=85

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Almost seems like hard core marketing on Jill’s part...”Let’s try THIS tactic and see what happens.” Kind of like fishing.  Change the bait to see what else might bite. The choice of words seeming coming from Nurie’s trip and the “seemingly indecent  suggestive pose coupled with the “look the “she’s ministering to those in need” just seems like Jill in Nurie exposure overdrive.  From what we know, these poses and trip weren’t Nurie’s idea.  I can’t help think that if Jill has though this though. Losing Nurie to marriage will lose her oldest slave and worker.  I can only imagine that we will see more of these aggressive/unexplainable advertisements in the future. I’m betting that most of these will look like they are coming from Nurie   It almost looks like they have exhausted the regular fundy promotions and are now onto PlanD. Someone may bite due to the “suggestive pictures”and selfless “mama party post “ and trip to “help those in need “unless Nurie is more needed at home to take care of the new baby.  

As I said before, I don’t see the last of these bizarre JillR promotions happenens any time soon.  It could depend on the responses she receives if she reads them at all. It must drive her nuts that her oldest daughter is not married while other families’ daughters are courting and marrying while barely out of their teens. Of course living in the stink bus and having no home stability doesn’t help. Plus styling herself like a 45 old probably scares eligible suitors off too. My heart goes out to Niurie. Who knows if she is blamed for the lack of suitors , most likely because Jill seems to be calling the shots.

Then again, Jill’s incessant need to chronicle their dire circumstances may have scared everyone away. Crazy videos, underfed children singling for their supper, no real home, etc. 

 

I honestly wish the best for the children but my heart breaks for them at the same time.

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On 1/22/2018 at 10:56 AM, Almost 3000 said:

She has an ESTY account but her stuff is pretty inexpensive so I can't imagine at makes much. It's linked somewhere up line.

oops, I see this has been mentioned but really where does this family get any money?

If you look at Nurie's store, it is actually under her parent's names. I guarantee the money goes to Jill and Chimp. The stuff she makes takes like five minutes. Jill has a personality disorder and is a narcissist.

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Dear TLC,

I'm sick of all the other shows on your station. Can I suggest something that might bring the viewers back? Here it is, bring back Clinton and Stacy for What Not To Wear Takes Over Fundie Fashion!!! 

Not only would the show be educational but it would seriously provide some much needed expert help.

I nominate Neri and Jill Duggar to go on the first show.

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On 1/24/2018 at 11:12 AM, Zahdii said:

I initially read that as Josie (Duggar) is courting and thought "JB&M have finally gone too far in their quest for attention and getting their show back."

Haha this would kind of be funny. Like Jimmy Kimmel's Baby Bachelor.

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On 1/24/2018 at 12:12 PM, Zahdii said:

I initially read that as Josie (Duggar) is courting and thought "JB&M have finally gone too far in their quest for attention and getting their show back."

Well Josie will most likely be courting before Jana, so you aren't too far off..

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1 hour ago, Madtown said:

Well Josie will most likely be courting before Jana, so you aren't too far off..

Who wants to court a baby ? You're assuming Mechelle will let Josie escape her baby status .

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On 1/18/2018 at 1:17 PM, Matryoshka said:

I actually wonder if she really used that word at all, or if it's just JRod's overdramatization of what she said.

Right? I was surprised Nurie knew the word "slut" (or "sluttish"), let alone use it in conversation (to her mother, no less).

On 1/19/2018 at 5:31 PM, Ocean Chick said:

I want to know in what world wearing a dress or a skirt ever stopped a man from looking “with lust in his eyes” at a woman?  As I seem to recall from my heathen history books men have raped women who wore dresses and were completely covered up. Shoot they’ve even raped nuns, for heaven’s sake. And no one out modested old time nuns in habits. 

These people are victim-blamers who will always blame women for a man's actions. Right now I'm in black pants and a flowy, long sleeve top with a lacy (but not low-cut neckline). If I was attacked, I'm sure plenty of people of Jill's ilk would say I was asking for it because pants. 

On 1/25/2018 at 7:58 AM, NotFundie said:

I was raised Fundie-lite.  (We went to church all the time and had to be obedient and "keep sweet" but my parents did approve of higher education and allowed us to occasionally date.  We had unreasonably early curfews, however.)  I think JillRod is angry at Nurie for wanting to go to Botswana and for wanting to marry and leave.

When I was a teenager, I was responsible for my younger siblings.  My mother would get angry if I even expressed a wish to attend an evening event at school.  I wasn't supposed to want to abandon my "duties".  Jill probably feels that Nurie has no right to want to leave her poor, sweet, long-suffering Mama.  Thus, she manages to vent about "sluttish" women and attributes it to that selfish older daughter who is supposed to be home taking care of all those little kids.

This is one of the reasons why I think Jana Duggar is still at home and unmarried. Being a stay-at-home-daughter is a thing in Fundie culture and it's usually the oldest daughter who ends up as the SAHD. I think it has to do with the immense guilt over leaving heaped onto them by their parents (mostly mothers who need their help), loyalty to their siblings/making sure their siblings are cared for, and the insular way they were raised cut-off from friends/influences aside from their nuclear families. 

I totally expect Nurie to end up as a SAHD to sister-mom her siblings and because Jill has created/is creating some kind of crazy co-dependency between them, like a low-rent, Fundie knock-off version of Grey Gardens. 

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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It's a thing in fundie culture, but it isn't necessarily standard or practiced in every Fundie family by any means. My guess is that families that are "healthier" with less co-dependence and where the parents maybe don't feel they *need* the oldest daughter around to help raise the younger kids would see no reason to "keep" a daughter at home.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2010/december/what-is-stay-at-home-daughters-movement.html

I don't watch the Bates' show, but what I've read on here and other forums gives me the impression that the Bates family has it slightly more together as far as fostering some kind of independent identities among their kids and can function without the oldest daughter(s) doing all or most of the housework/child-rearing while the mother does whatever (like drinking Starbucks while Xanaxed out of her mind on her Elliptical, cough, cough, Michelle).  My impression of the Bates family is that they do seem to actually be all about that "leave and cleave" philosophy as opposed to the Duggars or Jill. 

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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Kelly was downright anxious to get Michaela married.  I think they are less controlling than say Steve Maxwell who may never let any of his daughters go.  Kelly and Gil do farm the younger kids out when they are out of town, but also will take the grandchildren.  I don't think they are as shy/frightened of having to be responsible for kids as some of the others. 

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Jill's also a tough call because her kids are just coming of age. Will she hold onto Nurie or let her marry? Will she allow Timothy to go to Bible college? I suppose it's easier to let him go since there are only 3 more boys, and they're not so young as to require a lot of concentrated care (ie. grooming, etc) like the youngest daughters are. 

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On 1/28/2018 at 8:04 PM, EVS said:

Hopefully Nurie doesn’t end up with someone like Tabitha Paine’s husband.

Seems like Tabby disappeared from everything since she got married.

Does anyone know what happened to her?

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12 minutes ago, lianau said:

Steven Anderson just got himself banned from Jamaica . He got himself deported from Botswana a few years ago so how many countries are on his no go list now ?

Yes! I signed the Change.org petition to get him banned. The follow up email gave me a link to his YouTube. I didn’t watch it but I’m sure he’s shrieking and flinging ?.

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He didn't refer to the LGBT community as "sodomites" as is his MO. He backed off some and merely called them "homosexuals." Is he mellowing in hopes of not getting banned from every country on the planet? As I understand it, he's headed off to another Caribbean country, although he didn't specify which one. Dude, your wife just had a baby! GO HOME and HELP HER! 

edit: Here's his video for those with stomachs stronger than mine. I did get far enough to hear him say that he thought Jamaica was one of the most homophobic countries in the world, so he thought he'd be welcomed there. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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27 minutes ago, SpaghettiTuesdays said:

Wasn't Clark Wilson the guy who helped build the TTH? The Bates Family instagram posted about his death. How sad for his family.

Yes, Clark Wilson was the Duggars'  slave  helpful friend. I wonder what happened to him; he wasn't that old. 

47 minutes ago, lianau said:

Steven Anderson just got himself banned from Jamaica . He got himself deported from Botswana a few years ago so how many countries are on his no go list now ?

What did he do to get himself booted?

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Clark Wilson had battled cancer for a few years. I remember a GFM maybe two years ago now expenses. 

PP wasn't allowed into Jamaica due to his stance on LGBT issues, which he is very vocal about. Watch the video. It was actually quite tame for him. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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10 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

It's a thing in fundie culture, but it isn't necessarily standard or practiced in every Fundie family by any means. My guess is that families that are "healthier" with less co-dependence and where the parents maybe don't feel they *need* the oldest daughter around to help raise the younger kids would see no reason to "keep" a daughter at home.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2010/december/what-is-stay-at-home-daughters-movement.html

I don't watch the Bates' show, but what I've read on here and other forums gives me the impression that the Bates family has it slightly more together as far as fostering some kind of independent identities among their kids and can function without the oldest daughter(s) doing all or most of the housework/child-rearing while the mother does whatever (like drinking Starbucks while Xanaxed out of her mind on her Elliptical, cough, cough, Michelle).  My impression of the Bates family is that they do seem to actually be all about that "leave and cleave" philosophy as opposed to the Duggars or Jill. 

Yes, it's a thing, but I'm not sure everyone agrees to it. It's more like one movement inside fundie culture. 

It's hard to say what's going on. I think every fundie family is different.  None of the fundies we know of (Bates, Duggars, Rodrigues) openly subscribe  to the stay-at-home daughter movement, (meaning they don't say they believe in it) and it's not part of IBLP as far as I know. 

 Michael got married when she was 25 which is older than any of the Duggar brides so far. Kelly had stopped having babies a few year before.  She also had other daughters to help around the house. Chelsy Bontrager Maxwell just got married at 26 almost 27. Jill Duggar was 23 when she married. Nurie is 18 and hardly an old maid, even in their culture. 

I really believe that Jana is the next Duggar girl to get married and suspect may be her own choosy nature (no judgement) is why she is single. 

The only fundies we know of who do seem to have some beliefs about stay-at-home daughters are the Maxwells.  They have three adult daughters who live at home and none of them are teenagers. Their new sister-in-law Chelsy had this to say on her blog a few months ago:

Quote

 My sister did a post last week and it is just about the best thing ever. (in my opinion) I've been dying to write about this topic for several years now, but she beat me to it. =) And she did such a fabulous job that there is really nothing left for me to say. 

Except this: "the whole "stay at home daughter" term is not one that I believe girls should aspire to, nor do I believe that it is biblical. Girls should know how to handle themselves and work in public and do life in the real world, the same as men, and men AND women equally should know how to scrub toilets, cook meals, carry on intelligent conversation, and have a wide set of life knowledge + skills."

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2 hours ago, Temperance said:

Yes, it's a thing, but I'm not sure everyone agrees to it. It's more like one movement inside fundie culture. 

It's hard to say what's going on. I think every fundie family is different.  None of the fundies we know of (Bates, Duggars, Rodrigues) openly subscribe  to the stay-at-home daughter movement, (meaning they don't say they believe in it) and it's not part of IBLP as far as I know. 

 Michael got married when she was 25 which is older than any of the Duggar brides so far. Kelly had stopped having babies a few year before.  She also had other daughters to help around the house. Chelsy Bontrager Maxwell just got married at 26 almost 27. Jill Duggar was 23 when she married. Nurie is 18 and hardly an old maid, even in their culture. 

I really believe that Jana is the next Duggar girl to get married and suspect may be her own choosy nature (no judgement) is why she is single. 

The only fundies we know of who do seem to have some beliefs about stay-at-home daughters are the Maxwells.  They have three adult daughters who live at home and none of them are teenagers. Their new sister-in-law Chelsy had this to say on her blog a few months ago:

Whoa, the new SIL was calling out all her in-laws!? Gutsy move.

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