Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Marshmallow Mollie]

I have been to marriage counseling - just me. I couldn’t get my #besthubbyeva (tm Jill) to go, so I went by myself. It was enormously helpful! I got way more out of it than I would have expected.

[lookeyloo]

46 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

How are all you Californians doing with the scary crazy fires?

I hope folks are okay.  My friend told me her nephew and family lost everything but what they were wearing.  House burned to the ground.  So devastating.  

[GeeGolly]

6 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

I hope folks are okay.  My friend told me her nephew and family lost everything but what they were wearing.  House burned to the ground.  So devastating.  

What I've seen on the news is devastating. Almost too much to watch. I can't imagine living it.

[Hangin Out]

3 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

ADORABLE !

[Porkchop]

On 8/20/2020 at 12:14 PM, lookeyloo said:

But, she helped me regain my power and many other things.

Yes, lookeyloo, I had exactly the same experience. My husband said Well all you do is complain about me and refused to go again. But I found just having someone to listen to me helped me see my options. I stayed in that marriage quite a while, but eventually the fact that he brought me down every day ... every day! ... brought me to the point of being ready to divorce. Have been happily single since then.

 

[Happyfatchick]

On 8/15/2020 at 11:44 AM, ginger90 said:

Yesterday was day 21 in a row for work. I’m getting tired, disgusted, and old apparently. 
People have gone on unemployment, some for good reason, some just because they could, IMO.

Home health care isn’t what some people think it is, and they end up being useless, or quit. The office informed me the other day that they interviewed a bunch of people. Seems some didn’t follow through on pre-employment requirements. Hmmmmm, could it be the drug testing? The cynic in me says that is the case.

On the bright side, I have a job. Overtime is nice, but I’m actually sick of it. Best part is I have one person, and I’m not going from house to house all day.

🥱

Definitely it’s good that you have the same patient every day.  But then you get more attached... My cousin does this for a living (independent).  She makes very good money and has been doing it long enough - comes with enough PRESENCE about her that her clients’ people rarely question her and consider her authoritative.  Whenever her patient get to full time care, she hires her own people and sets the pay.  She’s like that Nanny woman on TV, but for the elderly.  She actually was the caregiver for my mom (her first patient) after nannying for a singer in Nashville for many years (nannied then right into college!).  I admire you guys, especially the one-patient-at-a-time variety.  You can’t help the attachment and the fight factor.  When my Daddy died, I was exhausted from the effort, the WILL to keep him going.  Anyway, my point was, I truly admire what you do.  

on a totally different note and something that tears my heart out to write about:

I have this dog.  He’s THAT dog.  He’s the man, bubba.  He thinks he’s a human.  WE think he’s human.  I suspect strongly that today is the last day of his life.  He’s nearly 13 in a pit boxer body - beastly muscular dog, big teeth, big jaws.  Loves children - trembles all over and adores to be pet by children.  Especially tween girls, those are his faves.  My son (26) was a smart ass smart mouth loud challenging teen when Rocky came to us.  Yet - he was a child, and Rocky defended him.  If we “play fight” today, Rocky pretends to nip at ME because this 26 yo grown man was his child to protect once.  Same with my grandson (almost 18 and built like a linebacker).  He still gets protection because he was once a child under Rocky’s care.  He has protected us, loved me, sympathized with me, cried with me, celebrated with me, raised other dogs with me, watched over me, been my constant almost 24 hr a day companion for nearly 13 years.  I used to tell him I needed him to defy all the laws and live to be 100.  He never answered me, and apparently isn’t going to do that.  I can’t even tell you.   He’s e dog who makes solid eye contact and his face ALWAYS says “I’m listening.  Tell me what to do.  Wherever that thing is that you want, that’s what I want to do for you”.

this is getting long, I apologize... 

I used to work with this gnarly gnomish foul mouthed hard man named Charles.  Of course nobody but Charles believed he was the get-off-my-lawn guy.  But that’s how he thought he came across and seemed to like it, so we let him have it.  Charles’ MIL lived in the home with he and his wife and their Jack Russell.  He liked (loved) the MIL, in actualality, but because of his facade, he griped about her in the form of silly stories every day, and we laughed.  She died, and Charles was pretty quiet at work for a couple days.  You could tell he just was holding it in.  About a month later, the Jack Russell died.  When I saw him in the plant, I said “hey Charles!  What’s up?  You [looking more closely at him] doing okay??”  And that little gnome looked me in the face, burst into tears and said “my dog died!!!”  

I don’t know why I always think about Charles when I think about people losing pets.  There’s something there - how he held it together after his MIL but completely lost it over a dog -when I vividly remembered the story of the dog destroying all the faux blinds behind the sofa so he could watch for Charles to come home.

so we don’t need a string of condolences, I know you care.  I would care if your dog-who’s-not-a-dog was leaving.  Just send me some virtual hugs: the good squishy ones, not the air ones.  

[lookeyloo]

34 minutes ago, Porkchop said:

Yes, lookeyloo, I had exactly the same experience. My husband said Well all you do is complain about me and refused to go again. But I found just having someone to listen to me helped me see my options. I stayed in that marriage quite a while, but eventually the fact that he brought me down every day ... every day! ... brought me to the point of being ready to divorce. Have been happily single since then.

 

Its funny that I was such a novice back then, in 1975 I had no clue.  It was nothing like what I expected and hard a lot of the times but for the right reasons.  And I did think once she heard my side of it she would tell him to straighten up.  Rude awakening for me, but necessary.  

[Mindthinkr]

@Happyfatchick My heart goes out to you and Rocky. He is a handsome pup. I feel your pain having lost some dear animals myself. A big hug from me and my kitties are sending you purrs 😿🐾🐾 to help comfort you. 

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, Porkchop said:

Yes, lookeyloo, I had exactly the same experience. My husband said Well all you do is complain about me and refused to go again. But I found just having someone to listen to me helped me see my options. I stayed in that marriage quite a while, but eventually the fact that he brought me down every day ... every day! ... brought me to the point of being ready to divorce. Have been happily single since then.

 

Good for you.  I have to laugh at the stupidity sometimes.  Whenever the husband have a big fight, after a couple of days of not talking, I say to him “are you ready to apologize to me”, and he says “ I apologize”.  Then I say “ for what exactly” and he says “ whatever the fuck you’re mad at today”.   He never has a clue.  Completely wired differently in the brain.   P.s.  he would NEVER go to councelling.

Edited August 21, 2020 by Silver Bells

[Scarlett45]

@not you again

 

It does hurt my heart that teachers have to take their own personal salary to buy supplies for their classrooms. Wtf. My friend who teaches in Taiwan, she gets her salary and then every teacher gets an allowance to spend on classroom stuff- they just have to submit the receipt, up to x amount. 
 

When I was in school (small private school in chicago- highschool class of 2003) we had our personal school supply list and then a list of things the parents could donate for classroom use (like hand sanitizer, tissues etc). 
 

Mrs B- she took care of my sister and grandfather during my middle school and High school years, I would take my allowance and buy her grandson school supplies every year.  She was trying to raise him because his parents weren’t worth shit and she was doing her best. After she died (in 2011) I made sure he had a winter coat and a new suit because he had a growth spurt and outgrew the one she bought him. 
 

I haven’t heard from him in a long time but I don’t regret any of it, he didn’t ask to be here and trust if Mrs B hadn’t gotten sick she would still be working for us!

[Nysha]

@Happyfatchick, I'm not much of a hugger but today I'll give you all the big, squishy hugs your heart desires. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

5 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

I hope folks are okay.  My friend told me her nephew and family lost everything but what they were wearing.  House burned to the ground.  So devastating.  

That’s horrible! I’m glad they’re safe and terribly sorry they lost everything. One thing the flood of 2016 taught me is to not tell people stupid shit “At least you have your health” or “It’s just stuff, it can be replaced.”  It’s not just stuff, it’s you life, your memories, your hard work. Seeing wedding pictures, children’s toys and antique furniture at the curb can really bring home that those items had meaning and memories.  It’s especially hard on children who just want their rooms and toys back. 

I really am glad they’re okay and hope they can put their lives back together without too much trauma.  

[Ijustwantsomechips]

@Happyfatchick  big squishy hug to you with a side of ice cream and cookies! 

[lookeyloo]

3 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

That’s horrible! I’m glad they’re safe and terribly sorry they lost everything. One thing the flood of 2016 taught me is to not tell people stupid shit “At least you have your health” or “It’s just stuff, it can be replaced.”  It’s not just stuff, it’s you life, your memories, your hard work. Seeing wedding pictures, children’s toys and antique furniture at the curb can really bring home that those items had meaning and memories.  It’s especially hard on children who just want their rooms and toys back. 

I really am glad they’re okay and hope they can put their lives back together without too much trauma.  

You are so right.  My friend said the nephew said they were all "okay - doing fine". I told her maybe the rush of the moment makes them think so, and maybe some people will be doing fine, but, when reality hits and they go look for something meaningful, it may not be so fine.  There are 4 children involved.  So many are suffering.  True it is just stuff, but that stuff is important!!!!!

[Oldernowiser]

@Happyfatchick, my heart goes out to you. My pets, my dogs especially, have been my best friends and my family...and I’ve had to say goodbye so often. 

Your Rocky is a mensch. I wish I could make this easier for you somehow.
 

 

Edited August 21, 2020 by Oldernowiser

[galaxychaser]

@Happyfatchick you can write so well! Every post of yours pulls at the heartstrings/tears me up. My biggest hug yo you.

[Hangin Out]

15 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

@Jynnan tonnix .. I’m so sorry for your troubles.  I am married a long time.  It wasn’t easy.  Men are weird and lots of times selfish to our needs.  This pandemic is making everyone crazy.  I asked the husband a hundred times this summer “let’s take a ride upstate” for a few days.  He replies “I’m tired” or “ I don’t feel that great”.  But, when his buddy calls him, he goes out in 95 degree weather and plays 18 holes of golf.  Thank God we have a Gardner and a Son who takes care of the grounds or else the greenery and flowers would be dead.  I can’t do it anymore due to back problems.  If the husband didn’t have golf, he would be on the sofa in a depression and just give up.  Hope you can find an answer to your problem. 😻

Yikes, I didn’t mean to say all men are weird.  I love men, but sometimes they just don’t think the way we do ( most of the time).  No offense to the men if any happen to be on here.  Lol.😅

[zoomama]

scary words ahead:

i FINALLY got a copy of my CT scan. i am seeing a ENT surgeon next week and he is going to do a scope down my nose/throat/voicebox to see whats going on. i am pretty sure the CT report let the cat outta the bag. i have a mass in my parotid (salivary) gland.  as much as i can learn, they are usually benign but not always. the particular gland it is in is the best location for a benign diagnoses per my google medical school.  i had trouble sleeping last night. i KNEW they were holding something back on me. in hindsight, why would a vascular surgeon who is discussing your carotid artery suggest to me to take the tracheotomy option if it is offered? one thing does not equal the other here.  anyway, its a long time till tuesday afternoon....

[Happyfatchick]

2 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

@Happyfatchick, my heart goes out to you. My pets, my dogs especially, have been my best friends and my family...and I’ve had to say goodbye so often. 

Your Rocky is a mensch. I wish I could make this easier for you somehow.
 

 

TY everyone for the hugs.  I’m sure today is the last.  We’ll take him when his dad gets home from work.  It’s time.  It’s past time and I was selfish.  TY especially @Oldernowiser; that’s exactly why I came here.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

Best wishes @zoomama

[Happyfatchick]

On 8/19/2020 at 12:17 AM, SunnyBeBe said:

Be careful of the snakes...man. I had somewhat of a different experience. Today I had the opportunity to spend some time with my young niece sitting out on the deck. Covid has really changed things. I hope we can regain the closeness. We sat apart and I wore my mask. 
 

We had a little visitor. Cute little guy with quite a personality. He posed and was very friendly. I even gave him a little water. Lol  He  walked around on the patio table resting, then walking over to the next person for  over an hour! Never seen anything like it. 
 

You weren’t listening loud enough.  He was trying to sell you car insurance.

[crazycatlady58]

@Happyfatchick sending you a great big hug. I have been there and it feels like you have lost part of yourself.

3 hours ago, zoomama said:

scary words ahead:

i FINALLY got a copy of my CT scan. i am seeing a ENT surgeon next week and he is going to do a scope down my nose/throat/voicebox to see whats going on. i am pretty sure the CT report let the cat outta the bag. i have a mass in my parotid (salivary) gland.  as much as i can learn, they are usually benign but not always. the particular gland it is in is the best location for a benign diagnoses per my google medical school.  i had trouble sleeping last night. i KNEW they were holding something back on me. in hindsight, why would a vascular surgeon who is discussing your carotid artery suggest to me to take the tracheotomy option if it is offered? one thing does not equal the other here.  anyway, its a long time till tuesday afternoon....

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish I lived clos so I could bring you supper and maybe an adult beverage.

[latetotheparty]

@zoomama I’ve worked 19 years in ENT. Parotid masses are very common and, from what I’ve seen, mostly benign. Crossing fingers for you. 

@Happyfatchick have the squishiest hug. I’m very soft. You’ve written so much about Rocky over the years. What a good and faithful friend. 
 

@galaxychaser I have been hunting for the cannoli Ben & Jerry’s ever since you mentioned it weeks and weeks ago. Finally found it at Target and (sob) it is too sweet for me. It’s such a bummer; I’ve been craving cannoli for ages and they are not easy to come by in Minnesota. 

Edited August 21, 2020 by latetotheparty
Rocky is good not food

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, Happyfatchick said:

TY everyone for the hugs.  I’m sure today is the last.  We’ll take him when his dad gets home from work.  It’s time.  It’s past time and I was selfish.  TY especially @Oldernowiser; that’s exactly why I came here.

Oh geeze .... my Grand dog Tank is in the same condition as we speak.  My son in law got him and his sister Lucy (2 labs) the day after he came home from Iraq.  He went upstate for one, and came back with two, brother and sister.  We dog sat for them every weekend.  Lucy died last fall, and Tank is heavily medicated.  My son in law just can’t let him go.  He sleeps with him.  Who is it up to, the Vet or the parents?  I’m crying already, and feel so bad for you also. 😪

[SunnyBeBe]

31 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

You weren’t listening loud enough.  He was trying to sell you car insurance.

RIGHT!! Too funny. You know they have the same personality. We were all talking to the little guy!  And you know what’s so funny...this week, I’ve been working on a case involving GEICO insurance! No kidding. Lol What a coincidence. 

These little things are common in N.C. They are called skinks. Odd name for sure. Here’s more. 
https://www.ncwildlife.org/Portals/0/Learning/documents/Profiles/Reptile/Five-Lined-Skink-2019.pdf

[Oldernowiser]

35 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

You weren’t listening loud enough.  He was trying to sell you car insurance.

And the 2020 award for humor brilliance under severe emotionally shitty circumstances goes to...Happyfatchick!

(I realize that it doesn’t make any of it suck scissors any less, but damn, I’m impressed...bravo.)

[Oldernowiser]

15 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Oh geeze .... my Grand dog Tank is in the same condition as we speak.  My son in law got him and his sister Lucy (2 labs) the day after he came home from Iraq.  He went upstate for one, and came back with two, brother and sister.  We dog sat for them every weekend.  Lucy died last fall, and Tank is heavily medicated.  My son in law just can’t let him go.  He sleeps with him.  Who is it up to, the Vet or the parents?  I’m crying already, and feel so bad for you also. 😪

It’s the hardest decision I’ve ever made and I’ve made it 11 times. As a former vet technician, I can tell you that it’s all too common to wait too long...I did, and more than once. And those are the ones I regret.

At some point, you know, even when you really, really don’t want to know. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

54 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

You weren’t listening loud enough.  He was trying to sell you car insurance.

See, here we go. I was trying to figure out a way to word something similar when the lizard (yeah, it doesn't need to be a gecko) post first showed up, but couldn't come up with the right way to do it. As @galaxychaser said, you are such a good writer, and I'll admit that I so often read your posts over and over, trying to figure out just how you so effortlessly make everything so darn READABLE. And enjoyable, connectable, and all sorts of other words which may or may not exist.

Anyway, I continue to be so grateful for all the support you guys have shown me over the past couple of days (not to mention the past few years, at those times that I've needed it). Was supposed to have an appointment for an office visit about my hernias today, but when I showed up, for some reason they had me down as a missed appointment from July 20. Neither they nor I could figure out just how that had happened; the appointments were not even from the same time of day. but in the long run, that actually works better. I have a new appointment with them on the 31st, by which time I will have hopefully either had my colonoscopy or be close to it. I do plan to take you guys up on the suggestion of therapy, but will probably wait until this surgery stuff is out of the way. 

In the meantime, here's something to boost the spirits. I was making a big batch of tomato sauce from about 50 tomatoes picked over the past couple of days, so I had on an apron, which I don't often tend to wear. Grand-Jynlet took one look at it and said, "Mima is wearing a pretty dress!" She does seem to have inherited my love of bright colors. If aprons could have sparkles, both of us would have loved that as well! 🙂

 

[galaxychaser]

51 minutes ago, latetotheparty said:

@zoomama I’ve worked 19 years in ENT. Parotid masses are very common and, from what I’ve seen, mostly benign. Crossing fingers for you. 

@Happyfatchick have the squishiest hug. I’m very soft. You’ve written so much about Rocky over the years. What a good and faithful friend. 
 

@galaxychaser I have been hunting for the cannoli Ben & Jerry’s ever since you mentioned it weeks and weeks ago. Finally found it at Target and (sob) it is too sweet for me. It’s such a bummer; I’ve been craving cannoli for ages and they are not easy to come by in Minnesota. 

I’m bummed out you didn’t like the ice cream. I got a pint I’m saving lol.

[Hangin Out]

24 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

It’s the hardest decision I’ve ever made and I’ve made it 11 times. As a former vet technician, I can tell you that it’s all too common to wait too long...I did, and more than once. And those are the ones I regret.

At some point, you know, even when you really, really don’t want to know. 

Everything is just so sad lately.  Covid, people going thru tests,  pets.  It’s just too much already.  11 times.  I’m sure you’ll be getting another little cutie soon enough.  Take care of yourself.  ❤️

[latetotheparty]

2 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

I’m bummed out you didn’t like the ice cream. I got a pint I’m saving lol.

I was really surprised because it takes A LOT for me to not like an ice cream. I’m an ice cream maniac. I have some special dark Hershey sauce and I’m thinking I could put some on the leftovers, might cut the sweet a bit.

[galaxychaser]

1 hour ago, Happyfatchick said:

You weren’t listening loud enough.  He was trying to sell you car insurance.

I am still laughing! You are so effortlessly funny and wonderfully witty! Do you write novels? I enjoy everything you write. 

[jcbrown]

12 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

How are all you Californians doing with the scary crazy fires?

So so smoky here. Days of just straight-up "unhealthy" air. We are lucky--we are not in danger from the fires themselves but I have a lot of ex-colleagues and friends who may be. The air is smudged, the light is amber. And more dry lightning predicted for the weekend. I got out my nebulizer and deployed it today (asthma).

49 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

It’s the hardest decision I’ve ever made and I’ve made it 11 times. As a former vet technician, I can tell you that it’s all too common to wait too long...I did, and more than once. And those are the ones I regret.

At some point, you know, even when you really, really don’t want to know. 

This is exactly right. I waited too long once, too, and wish I had known then what I know now. I would have let him go sooner. Neither of us wanted him to go. And yes, you know. 

@Happyfatchick I am so sorry you will have to say goodbye to your furry friend. They really move into your heart. Here's a big squishy hug.

@zoomama hang in there and I send you positive energy for a good result.

[galaxychaser]

@zoomama hang in there. Don’t give up hope for a good outcome. 

[Hangin Out]

On 8/20/2020 at 2:52 PM, CherryMalotte said:

Tell mom to go right ahead.  Your peace of mind with her nagging away is well worth that inheritance.  

Def go get some therapy.  We all need help with this shit going on right now, I'm thinking about going myself, just to get some coping skills or to get a different perspective.
 

 See, now that shit pisses me off.  I've had a sneak preview of the same with Mr Malotte over here since he was off work from being a school bus driver, maybe it's a married older guy thing.   I think we all deserve a quotient of self pity maybe even daily, it's our regular problems just so multiplied by Covid and politics and general sad state of news right now that it really feels like nuclear fall out.  But I hate that way our husbands think because there are people who lives are over due to AIDS and cancer and Covid and school shootings.  I had to point that out to the mister here, like listen dude I ain't happy about all this either but Jesus H and a bucket of chicken as long as you are drawing breath there's still a fight, there's still paintings to see, and grass to be cut, songs to be listened to, dinners to make, children to teach...there's just so much more to all of us, even the mundane dish washing.  I'm making every chore, even cleaning the damn bathroom, a Mardi Gras if I have to.  There's still joy to be had.  Look at those hummingbirds some of you get to see - what miracles of engineering they are, I'm totally jealous that I don't have any, but the dickrod, excuse me my husband, doesn't want another feeder around. 

I'm sorry, I know I sound like a mean bitchy ass and a half, and I am!  Maybe we can send the husbands off to find Santa at the North Pole and we can get ourselves a nice beach and many drinks.         

I go for that, but my dickrod would have to have a state of the art golf course or else he will schrival up and drop.  He’s playing tomorrow morning and kissing my ass all day .. he’s sooo happy.  He even said he will take me for a ride to Cracker Barrel in Connecticut.  He acts like it’s Europe or something spectacular.  I can’t win.

[SunnyBeBe]

I thought this was a very heartwarming story..also a big mystery.  Pet parakeet survives in the wild for 3 months before its found and reunited with owner. 
 

https://www.wral.com/parakeet-missing-3-months-discovered-in-cary-returned-to-family/19245221/

 

[Bayarea4]

5 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I thought this was a very heartwarming story..also a big mystery.  Pet parakeet survives in the wild for 3 months before its found and reunited with owner.

https://www.wral.com/parakeet-missing-3-months-discovered-in-cary-returned-to-family/19245221/

Aww, what a nice story. Thanks for sharing. I love parakeets. They are wonderful pets - cute, funny and entertaining, like having a three-ring circus in a cage.

Edited August 22, 2020 by Bayarea4
formatting

[skatelady]

On 8/20/2020 at 9:09 PM, Scarlett45 said:

Oh wow how adventurous!!!!  
 

You will have to tell us more of your stories. Did you feel safe?

I felt safe mostly because I'm not the worrying type; my husband thinks I'm reckless but I prefer "carefree"! But also, he was "tracking" me the whole time with the FindMyFriend app. I considered taking the Appalachian Trail because that was the general direction in which I was heading (from lower NY to my dad's house in the Berkshires), but chose to take roads instead because then I would be more easily found in case of emergency. Of which there were none. 

The idea came to me because I was listening to the recorded book "Wild" - about a woman who, with no experience, decided to walk the Pacific Crest Trail to escape her problems. I REALLY needed to get away; I'm a very very active and social person, and all of my outlets were shut down. (Teaching was the PERFECT career for me, as it's constant physical movement and constant interaction). Teaching remotely was absolute misery for me, as was being trapped in the house. As soon as I graded my last final exam, on May 5th, I started planning my escape - and departed on the 7th. 

I did plan the route, because finding safe/clean/available/affordable places to stay was a challenge in these covid times. I had backup plans too, in case I didn't make it to the planned stop. 

Highlights: Peace and beauty. I was fortunate to be able to make my way through mostly farmland and rural areas. Farm animals, freshly planted crops, budding trees and flowers, perfect weather.... and things I'd never notice in a car. A cardinal. An owl. A sod farm. Turtles. And so many quirky signs and lawn sculptures. 

Lowlights: Garbage. Just two short months of Covid and already the countryside was festooned with discarded blue facemasks. They were EVERYWHERE. Also - all the closed schools with their sad marquees. 

It took the whole trip there to finish Wild. It was inspirational. I also interspersed "reading" with some singing. I love to sing.... and NOBODY loves to hear me sing! Another thing that helped me appreciate being alone. I'm a big fan of Broadway show tunes, and got to belt out a lot of them. West Side Story, Chorus Line, Music Man, Annie.... just to name a few. On the way back, I listened to Stephen King's "The Stand" - another timely story (about a very contagious virus). The Stand is very long, and I had to take another trip to finish that one (from New Jersey to Pennsylvania, which is from one daughter's house to another daughter's house. A whole 'nother story). 

One more wonderful thing about this adventure: burned SO many calories!!! (over 5000 a day, according to my fitbit). Didn't lose an ounce, but I got to eat like a maniac. I brought food with me, but whenever I passed through a town with a restaurant that had takeout, I... took.... out. Ate so many forbidden things... guilt-free!

I was very surprised that I did not develop any knee problems from this - possibly due to a career of being on my feet. I did develop severe blisters though, and most of my toenails eventually fell off (still growing back in), but I was able to cope with that. The blisters are now thick thick callouses - my toes are UGLY!!!! Also - an unexpected ailment - terrible rashes on the tricep area of my arms ! From my old-lady arm-wings rubbing against my armpit fat. Ohhh, the indignities of old age!!

Lastly, an unexpected complication… NO BATHROOMS. I expected to use gas station restrooms, but what few I passed were closed. Fortunately I'm flexible enough to squat, and I got better and better at doing that QUICKLY! Before a car came! Ahhh boys don't appreciate how easy they have it. 

And then. When I got back. SO MUCH DUGGAR SNARK TO CATCH UP ON!

Well, that's enough about me and my adventures. I hope I was able to shine some light for you in these dark times. 

[awaken]

14 minutes ago, skatelady said:

I felt safe mostly because I'm not the worrying type; my husband thinks I'm reckless but I prefer "carefree"! But also, he was "tracking" me the whole time with the FindMyFriend app. I considered taking the Appalachian Trail because that was the general direction in which I was heading (from lower NY to my dad's house in the Berkshires), but chose to take roads instead because then I would be more easily found in case of emergency. Of which there were none. 

The idea came to me because I was listening to the recorded book "Wild" - about a woman who, with no experience, decided to walk the Pacific Crest Trail to escape her problems. I REALLY needed to get away; I'm a very very active and social person, and all of my outlets were shut down. (Teaching was the PERFECT career for me, as it's constant physical movement and constant interaction). Teaching remotely was absolute misery for me, as was being trapped in the house. As soon as I graded my last final exam, on May 5th, I started planning my escape - and departed on the 7th. 

I did plan the route, because finding safe/clean/available/affordable places to stay was a challenge in these covid times. I had backup plans too, in case I didn't make it to the planned stop. 

Highlights: Peace and beauty. I was fortunate to be able to make my way through mostly farmland and rural areas. Farm animals, freshly planted crops, budding trees and flowers, perfect weather.... and things I'd never notice in a car. A cardinal. An owl. A sod farm. Turtles. And so many quirky signs and lawn sculptures. 

Lowlights: Garbage. Just two short months of Covid and already the countryside was festooned with discarded blue facemasks. They were EVERYWHERE. Also - all the closed schools with their sad marquees. 

It took the whole trip there to finish Wild. It was inspirational. I also interspersed "reading" with some singing. I love to sing.... and NOBODY loves to hear me sing! Another thing that helped me appreciate being alone. I'm a big fan of Broadway show tunes, and got to belt out a lot of them. West Side Story, Chorus Line, Music Man, Annie.... just to name a few. On the way back, I listened to Stephen King's "The Stand" - another timely story (about a very contagious virus). The Stand is very long, and I had to take another trip to finish that one (from New Jersey to Pennsylvania, which is from one daughter's house to another daughter's house. A whole 'nother story). 

One more wonderful thing about this adventure: burned SO many calories!!! (over 5000 a day, according to my fitbit). Didn't lose an ounce, but I got to eat like a maniac. I brought food with me, but whenever I passed through a town with a restaurant that had takeout, I... took.... out. Ate so many forbidden things... guilt-free!

I was very surprised that I did not develop any knee problems from this - possibly due to a career of being on my feet. I did develop severe blisters though, and most of my toenails eventually fell off (still growing back in), but I was able to cope with that. The blisters are now thick thick callouses - my toes are UGLY!!!! Also - an unexpected ailment - terrible rashes on the tricep area of my arms ! From my old-lady arm-wings rubbing against my armpit fat. Ohhh, the indignities of old age!!

Lastly, an unexpected complication… NO BATHROOMS. I expected to use gas station restrooms, but what few I passed were closed. Fortunately I'm flexible enough to squat, and I got better and better at doing that QUICKLY! Before a car came! Ahhh boys don't appreciate how easy they have it. 

And then. When I got back. SO MUCH DUGGAR SNARK TO CATCH UP ON!

Well, that's enough about me and my adventures. I hope I was able to shine some light for you in these dark times. 

I want to like this a million times!  What kind of shoes did you wear and did they last the whole trip?  I read wild and saw the movie. I want to do this!  I need a destination. And I have kids who need virtual schooling supervision.  Bah. 

[Love2dance]

@zoomama, hoping you get the good results that seem to be most likely after your test. But I know waiting is just SO darn hard.

@Happyfatchick, sending the closest, hardest, squishiest hug possible to you. And you know, from my nagging you all these years, how much I admire your writing, and hope and wish for a novel or memoir from you. You will be in my thoughts tonight.

@Jynnan tonnix, I’m glad you are thinking of taking our advice to seek counseling when you are ready. I can personally attest that it can help so much. (And if the first therapist isn’t a good match, don’t give up...find another more compatible one.) P.S. I love the fun apron! Hugs! 

@rue721 and @Silver Bells, welcome to our group. It is so special, and we are all so fortunate to have this caring group of friends.

[Happyfatchick]

28 minutes ago, skatelady said:

I felt safe mostly because I'm not the worrying type; my husband thinks I'm reckless but I prefer "carefree"! But also, he was "tracking" me the whole time with the FindMyFriend app. I considered taking the Appalachian Trail because that was the general direction in which I was heading (from lower NY to my dad's house in the Berkshires), but chose to take roads instead because then I would be more easily found in case of emergency. Of which there were none. 

The idea came to me because I was listening to the recorded book "Wild" - about a woman who, with no experience, decided to walk the Pacific Crest Trail to escape her problems. I REALLY needed to get away; I'm a very very active and social person, and all of my outlets were shut down. (Teaching was the PERFECT career for me, as it's constant physical movement and constant interaction). Teaching remotely was absolute misery for me, as was being trapped in the house. As soon as I graded my last final exam, on May 5th, I started planning my escape - and departed on the 7th. 

I did plan the route, because finding safe/clean/available/affordable places to stay was a challenge in these covid times. I had backup plans too, in case I didn't make it to the planned stop. 

Highlights: Peace and beauty. I was fortunate to be able to make my way through mostly farmland and rural areas. Farm animals, freshly planted crops, budding trees and flowers, perfect weather.... and things I'd never notice in a car. A cardinal. An owl. A sod farm. Turtles. And so many quirky signs and lawn sculptures. 

Lowlights: Garbage. Just two short months of Covid and already the countryside was festooned with discarded blue facemasks. They were EVERYWHERE. Also - all the closed schools with their sad marquees. 

It took the whole trip there to finish Wild. It was inspirational. I also interspersed "reading" with some singing. I love to sing.... and NOBODY loves to hear me sing! Another thing that helped me appreciate being alone. I'm a big fan of Broadway show tunes, and got to belt out a lot of them. West Side Story, Chorus Line, Music Man, Annie.... just to name a few. On the way back, I listened to Stephen King's "The Stand" - another timely story (about a very contagious virus). The Stand is very long, and I had to take another trip to finish that one (from New Jersey to Pennsylvania, which is from one daughter's house to another daughter's house. A whole 'nother story). 

One more wonderful thing about this adventure: burned SO many calories!!! (over 5000 a day, according to my fitbit). Didn't lose an ounce, but I got to eat like a maniac. I brought food with me, but whenever I passed through a town with a restaurant that had takeout, I... took.... out. Ate so many forbidden things... guilt-free!

I was very surprised that I did not develop any knee problems from this - possibly due to a career of being on my feet. I did develop severe blisters though, and most of my toenails eventually fell off (still growing back in), but I was able to cope with that. The blisters are now thick thick callouses - my toes are UGLY!!!! Also - an unexpected ailment - terrible rashes on the tricep area of my arms ! From my old-lady arm-wings rubbing against my armpit fat. Ohhh, the indignities of old age!!

Lastly, an unexpected complication… NO BATHROOMS. I expected to use gas station restrooms, but what few I passed were closed. Fortunately I'm flexible enough to squat, and I got better and better at doing that QUICKLY! Before a car came! Ahhh boys don't appreciate how easy they have it. 

And then. When I got back. SO MUCH DUGGAR SNARK TO CATCH UP ON!

Well, that's enough about me and my adventures. I hope I was able to shine some light for you in these dark times. 

I am sooooo impressed I can’t stand it.  Seriously.  GAWD!  You are AMAZZZZING.  Zing zing zing.  You’ve got to be kidding (is what I keep thinking).  WONDER WOMAN.  You make me feel so grandmothery!!! 

 Also:  obviously we didn’t go to the vet tonight.  We’re going in the morning.  Hubs wanted his night , and has been crying all night.  We’re a mess and should be banned from owning dogs.  

Side note:  I’m a member of a fb group about boxers, the dog I lost last year was a boxer and both my other “big” dogs are part boxer.  I’m a boxer lover.  So this lady asked a question  about getting her dog in from her last “pee”.  The BOXER has learned if she stalls long enough, mom will break out a treat to get her in the door.  I commented “it’s late.  You’re tired.  She has your number.  Give her the treat”.  There’s ANOTHER Boxer mom who says:  exercise her longer earlier in the night.  She’s clearly telling you she isnt ready for bed, and that’s because she hasn’t used up her energy supply for the day.  Giving her treats is reinforcing bad behavior”. 

which none of you (hopefully) saw in real life, and which reinforces the theory I shouldn’t be a dog owner.  I would DEFINITELY have given that dog a treat, and even been a little bit impressed that she played me. 

[galaxychaser]

4 hours ago, latetotheparty said:

@zoomama I’ve worked 19 years in ENT. Parotid masses are very common and, from what I’ve seen, mostly benign. Crossing fingers for you. 

@Happyfatchick have the squishiest hug. I’m very soft. You’ve written so much about Rocky over the years. What a good and faithful friend. 
 

@galaxychaser I have been hunting for the cannoli Ben & Jerry’s ever since you mentioned it weeks and weeks ago. Finally found it at Target and (sob) it is too sweet for me. It’s such a bummer; I’ve been craving cannoli for ages and they are not easy to come by in Minnesota. 

I watch a lot of chopped. Maybe you can melt down the ice cream and use it as a syrup for pancakes or make pancakes with it. Mmmm I think I’m going to make canoli pancakes tomorrow .

[skatelady]

13 minutes ago, Happyfatchick said:

I am sooooo impressed I can’t stand it.  Seriously.  GAWD!  You are AMAZZZZING.  Zing zing zing.  You’ve got to be kidding (is what I keep thinking).  WONDER WOMAN.  You make me feel so grandmothery!!! 
 

Awww shucks. For the record, I am grandmothery myself. Well, by age, not by actual tiny humans. I'm 61 (and as of yet, my children have not reproduced). See, walking is something ANYONE can do! (although I do have the advantage of unusually high energy, and, as a teacher, experience at being on my feet for 8 hours a day. And having to hold in my pee for all 8 hours). 

And as for my footwear: Brooks sneakers. I figured... if they're made for runners, surely they'll be sturdy enough for a walker? Started out with a fairly new pair, and wore them out on that trip. Wore out another pair on a subsequent trip. Currently on my 4th pair since the lockdown, but the 5th pair has already been ordered and is in transit. I experimented with hiking boots and sneaker comparisons (also various socks) and settled on running sneakers and running socks as ideal for pavement. Wool socks were too thick, the sneakers felt weird. Brooks sneakers are SO comfy-yet-supportive. Unfortunately, the soft-as-a-cloud innards don't last long, nor do the soles. 

[Love2dance]

 @skatelady, Oh my goodness, you just can’t imagine how impressed I am with what you have accomplished. Thanks for sharing your adventure with us.  I am such a wuss. I don’t walk in the heat, can’t imagine walking a long way alone, and no enclosed bathrooms is a complete deal breaker for me. You really have my complete admiration. Wow!
P.S. I also enjoyed reading WILD. I’m sure I would love your version, too!

[Scarlett45]

@skatelady your adventure sounds wonderful! The lack of open restrooms would be a deal breaker for me! I like the heat and walking sounds fun. you had a lot of daylight hours to work with. 
 

Maybe I’ll do something like that when I retire. 

[Oldernowiser]

You know, living with another human being, no matter how much you love and respect them, can be just hard, especially over the course of a lifetime. People change, especially as they age. People go through dark times, when they become unreachable. People go through life crap and discover their coping mechanisms are completely opposite. All of these things become more obvious when a couple goes through big life role changes (having children, raising children, changing jobs, locations or careers, caring for older family members, changing physically, becoming ill, retiring, income changes, etcetera etcetera etcetera.)

Add forced 24/7 togetherness with few outside activities due to Covid-19 for going on six months? It’s all exacerbated. Especially when two people have strong needs for alone time or are extroverts who desperately need outside activities.

What I’m trying to say is that these are unprecedented times. It’s no wonder many of us are struggling not only as individuals but also as parties to other relationships.
Maybe we just try to be kind to ourselves and recognize that some MAJOR shit is going down and that we’re all doing what we can to get by? 

Group hug?

 

 

 

Edited August 22, 2020 by Oldernowiser

[GeeGolly]

Wow @skatelady! In the beginning of May I was still nervous going into the grocery store, lol. What an awesome adventure and even more so during these crazy times.

At the Golly household we're preparing to change gears while still enjoying the warm weather and longer days. We're lining up a few indoor house projects to help get us through the winter months. I keep going back and forth as to whether the winter will be harder or will feel more normal, because we tend to be homebodies then anyway. I'm thinking I may need to pick up some more hours to avoid cabin fever as I'm used to being out of the house 40 - 50 hours a week, so even more hours from home might be helpful.

I seem to be having more hard days waiting for this reality to pass. I have moments of saying screw it, I'm going to expand my bubble and live more carefree. But I can't, we're a high risk for covid complications household and the precautions we take are necessary. 

I can't wait until this thread is filled with remember when stories, and when even the most mundane things take on a pleasure and appreciation they never really had before.

I also wanted to say thanks for letting me pop back into the Prayer Closet after my sparse appearances these past few years. It certainly has been helpful during these trying times.

[CouchTater]

11 hours ago, latetotheparty said:

I was really surprised because it takes A LOT for me to not like an ice cream. I’m an ice cream maniac. I have some special dark Hershey sauce and I’m thinking I could put some on the leftovers, might cut the sweet a bit.

This reminds me.  We were talking about Choco Tacos here a couple of weeks ago, I think.  I tried them, and they were too sweet for me!  I typically have a 3-element max for my desserts.  The choco tacos have 4:  the cone, ice cream, nuts and chocolate.  The chocolate put it over the sweetness top, at least for me.  The bites that didn't have chocolate were delicious, though!

[Hangin Out]

17 hours ago, zoomama said:

scary words ahead:

i FINALLY got a copy of my CT scan. i am seeing a ENT surgeon next week and he is going to do a scope down my nose/throat/voicebox to see whats going on. i am pretty sure the CT report let the cat outta the bag. i have a mass in my parotid (salivary) gland.  as much as i can learn, they are usually benign but not always. the particular gland it is in is the best location for a benign diagnoses per my google medical school.  i had trouble sleeping last night. i KNEW they were holding something back on me. in hindsight, why would a vascular surgeon who is discussing your carotid artery suggest to me to take the tracheotomy option if it is offered? one thing does not equal the other here.  anyway, its a long time till tuesday afternoon....

I swear, waiting and going for test results will someday give me a heart attack.  I can’t eat, sleep, or function until I hear the results.  The last time I went for a lung ct scan and the dr. Told me everything was fine, I broke down sobbing from relief.  Dr. Probably thought I was nuts.  Pray for you to get good news.  I know how you feel.  Waiting is the worst.

 

[louannems]

9 hours ago, skatelady said:

Awww shucks. For the record, I am grandmothery myself. Well, by age, not by actual tiny humans. I'm 61 (and as of yet, my children have not reproduced). See, walking is something ANYONE can do! (although I do have the advantage of unusually high energy, and, as a teacher, experience at being on my feet for 8 hours a day. And having to hold in my pee for all 8 hours). 

And as for my footwear: Brooks sneakers. I figured... if they're made for runners, surely they'll be sturdy enough for a walker? Started out with a fairly new pair, and wore them out on that trip. Wore out another pair on a subsequent trip. Currently on my 4th pair since the lockdown, but the 5th pair has already been ordered and is in transit. I experimented with hiking boots and sneaker comparisons (also various socks) and settled on running sneakers and running socks as ideal for pavement. Wool socks were too thick, the sneakers felt weird. Brooks sneakers are SO comfy-yet-supportive. Unfortunately, the soft-as-a-cloud innards don't last long, nor do the soles. 

I've been wearing Brooks running shoes (Addiction) for 31 years!  Seriously, they are the only shoe that are super comfortable for my  "bad feet".

I loved your walking story!