Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Ijustwantsomechips]

17 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

I am so sorry this is what you are dealing with today. The disappointment must be so huge.

This is not a non-issue, as we are all dealing with things that effect our own lives in significant ways that are different from what others are experiencing, or out of our realm of experience. That doesn't make them any more or less important or hard.

Hope you have wise drs, who explain the options clearly so you can make the best right choice for you at this time

Thanks @crazy8s. It’s nice to feel validated and like I’m not being a petulant brat.  I don’t do good with showing emotions so I’m glad you guys are always here and always have something wise and/or supportive to say. 

[Temperance]

48 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

So some of you may remember I’ve really been struggling with trying to convince. My age, weight and thyroid are all working against me, but I’ve been pushing through despite being surrounded by pregnant women in the family. I found out two weeks ago that my fibroids are back after having 23 removed during my second myomectomy two years ago. I can’t believe they’re back already!  And it’s only three but they’re a decent size.  I’ve already had two myomectomies and a D&C, so there’s nothing left to cut at this point. Surely I look like Swiss cheese on the inside. I was scheduled to meet with my gyn doctor next month for fertility testing, but I guess I’ll just switch it to a possible pre-op consultation for a hysterectomy because I know that’s the next step. I give up at this point but I gave it a good shot.  

OAN my cousin just had her baby, and she is adorable, but I can’t bring myself to hold her. I just cannot do it and I’m getting all kinds of flack from my mom and my sister again about how I’m jealous and hateful and I should be excited for her. Of course I’m happy for her, and I am glad she and the baby are doing well, I really am.  I just don’t understand why my mom can always sympathize with another younger cousin who doesn’t have children but wants them, yet I’m supposed to suck it up like I’m not in the same boat, but with all types of complications.  Why on earth, if you know I’m having fertility issues, would you want to give me a play-by-play of someone’s pregnancy, labor, delivery and parenthood?  And why do you not get that it feels like it’s being rubbed in my face?  I love my mom, but sometimes she really is annoying as fuck!

I know this is a non-issue compared to what some of out posters are going through, but I have nowhere and no one else to vent to. Thanks for listening. 

No one should ever be given the play-by-play of pregnancy, labor or delivery if they don't want to hear it.  It's a lot to listen to for any reason. 

I assume your mom may be biased, because you're single. 

Try hanging up on your mom when she's being hurtful. 

Side Note: This posted before I was ready. ARGH!

Edited August 17, 2020 by Temperance

[Jeeves]

@Ijustwantsomechips, just to chime in and agree: this is NOT a non-issue. This is important to you and quite real. 

I'm sorry you're getting the extra helpings of pain from your own family. That's not fair. 

Sending you a virtual hug.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

1 hour ago, crazy8s said:

I am so sorry this is what you are dealing with today. The disappointment must be so huge.

This is not a non-issue, as we are all dealing with things that effect our own lives in significant ways that are different from what others are experiencing, or out of our realm of experience. That doesn't make them any more or less important or hard.

Hope you have wise drs, who explain the options clearly so you can make the best right choice for you at this time

Thanks @crazy8s. It’s nice to feel validated and like I’m not being a petulant brat.  I don’t do good with showing emotions so I’m glad you guys are always here and always have something wise and/or supportive to say. 

Thanks @Jeeves and @Temperance. I like how you both think.  Unfortunately my mom lives with me so I can’t always hang up on her. I’m not above getting in my car and driving off for a day or two though.  Since she’s retired she is insufferable.

[lookeyloo]

@Ijustwantsomechips I am really sorry your mother is so insensitive.  The first Mr lookeyloo used to say to me when I expressed a feeling "that's ridiculous, you shouldn't feel that way".  I hated it.  I'm sure you do too.  Sending a hug your way.

[Jenniferbug]

We got power back later last night, after 7 days without. The girls and I stayed at my parents when they got power back because it was too hot (our house got to 82 degrees at one point). We came home today and now have internet too! We're still waiting on an insurance adjuster to come out and examine the damage, but at least we can live in our house! 

[Oldernowiser]

Ijustwantsomechips, the sad truth is that nobody can push our most painful buttons like family. Even my mother, as sweet as she was, could still really hurt my feelings at times because she thought I should have done “more” with my life; mostly because that was one of my father’s favorite topics where I was concerned. She said it again a few weeks ago...this from someone with severe dementia. It hurts and I am really sorry this is all happening to you.

Sometimes I think families do this as some weird way to blow off steam, like they’re mean because they can be. Or, especially with a topic as emotionally loaded as motherhood, it can bring out some weird ugly female competitive thing. Dunno.

You know you have the right to set boundaries, yes? “Mom, we’re going to change the subject now.” And if she won’t, leave the room. You feel how you feel and they can either respect that or step off.

 I’m really sorry, sweetie.

 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

Thanks @Oldernowiser. I’m sorry you’re going through that too with your mom on top of dealing with her dementia.  That’s a lot for anyone to handle. Big, squishy hugs to you!

@lookeyloo thanks for that hug. I’ll take all I can get.

@Jenniferbug I’m happy your power is back on!  And your internet too! I hope you get an awesome, patient, understanding insurance adjuster. It makes all the difference in the world, and I hope your home is restored better than before. 

[Quof]

20 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

nobody can push our most painful buttons like family.

Because they installed them.

[Liddy52]

24 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

the sad truth is that nobody can push our most painful buttons like family

Sadly, this is so true. I have a sister that goes for the jugular.  For some reason, since my mother passed away, she feels she needs to tell me every way I have offended her or fallen short for the past 60 years! She is brutal at times and it comes out of no where. Before our mother died, I thought my sister and I got along well and that we worked well together in taking care of my mother. However as we have been settling the estate,  she has made it clear that I have failed in many aspects most of our lives. It has been heart breaking for me at times. I honestly have no beef with her. I cannot tell you a single time she ever upset me or hurt my feelings prior to our working on the estate together. I used to defend her to my mother and other sister when they would complain about her. I thought she was the most moral person I knew. I don't know if our relationship will survive the strain. I used to talk to her every day, sometimes more than once. Now we only speak when we have to regarding business. I know that I  am to blame also as we had some differences of opinion on how to settle the estate. I feel as if I have lost my sister as well as my mother. 

[thehorseofpower]

3 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

So some of you may remember I’ve really been struggling with trying to convince. My age, weight and thyroid are all working against me, but I’ve been pushing through despite being surrounded by pregnant women in the family. I found out two weeks ago that my fibroids are back after having 23 removed during my second myomectomy two years ago. I can’t believe they’re back already!  And it’s only three but they’re a decent size.  I’ve already had two myomectomies and a D&C, so there’s nothing left to cut at this point. Surely I look like Swiss cheese on the inside. I was scheduled to meet with my gyn doctor next month for fertility testing, but I guess I’ll just switch it to a possible pre-op consultation for a hysterectomy because I know that’s the next step. I give up at this point but I gave it a good shot.  

OAN my cousin just had her baby, and she is adorable, but I can’t bring myself to hold her. I just cannot do it and I’m getting all kinds of flack from my mom and my sister again about how I’m jealous and hateful and I should be excited for her. Of course I’m happy for her, and I am glad she and the baby are doing well, I really am.  I just don’t understand why my mom can always sympathize with another younger cousin who doesn’t have children but wants them, yet I’m supposed to suck it up like I’m not in the same boat, but with all types of complications.  Why on earth, if you know I’m having fertility issues, would you want to give me a play-by-play of someone’s pregnancy, labor, delivery and parenthood?  And why do you not get that it feels like it’s being rubbed in my face?  I love my mom, but sometimes she really is annoying as fuck!

I know this is a non-issue compared to what some of out posters are going through, but I have nowhere and no one else to vent to. Thanks for listening. 

I am so sorry. This must be such hard news to receive and then to have your mother fail to sympathize and make you feel worse....hugs to you.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

Thanks @thehorseofpower. It’s definitely a process. 
 

@Liddy52 I’m sorry your sister is giving you a hard time. I hope she mellows out. 

[Nysha]

This is really a minor issue, but my air conditioners in the kitchen & my bedroom have both died due to the extreme heat we're having. Which isn't the issue. My apartment building has been invaded by sugar ants. I've been sprinkling diatomaceous dirt wherever they congregate, but there are always stragglers in weird places and they keep coming back. Today I came home to a sink full of dishes with food on them and more tiny ants than I've ever seen. My son apparently decided he didn't like the pork roast that he was eating, even dipped in ranch which the ants seem to love. I'm sleeping at my friend's because of the heat, but before I go I'm going to have to stand in a hot kitchen and try to clean while ants crawl around. I'm to the point that if my hair touches my face I almost claw it off because I've had ants crawling on me and it's freaking me out.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

2 hours ago, Nysha said:

This is really a minor issue, but my air conditioners in the kitchen & my bedroom have both died due to the extreme heat we're having. Which isn't the issue. My apartment building has been invaded by sugar ants. I've been sprinkling diatomaceous dirt wherever they congregate, but there are always stragglers in weird places and they keep coming back. Today I came home to a sink full of dishes with food on them and more tiny ants than I've ever seen. My son apparently decided he didn't like the pork roast that he was eating, even dipped in ranch which the ants seem to love. I'm sleeping at my friend's because of the heat, but before I go I'm going to have to stand in a hot kitchen and try to clean while ants crawl around. I'm to the point that if my hair touches my face I almost claw it off because I've had ants crawling on me and it's freaking me out.

I’ll post this again just in case the exterminator doesn’t get to you timely.  When I had them in my kitchen, Terminix used some specific gel for sugar ants. They haven’t been back since. 

https://www.domyown.com/

Edited August 18, 2020 by Ijustwantsomechips

[lianau]

So there is a confirmed Covid case in my nephew's kindergarten group . All children are now in quarantine until August 28th .BUT that quarantine should have started on August 13th . And my brother and sister in law and all the other parents got that news on August the 17th  , in the evening , after my nephew had another day in kindergarten and nobody found that weird or anything . Since August the 13th my nephew attended his cousin's first day of 1st grade celebration with all of us  and his mother's birthday party that was ironically (ha ha  very funny ) yesterday . Right now he is what is called a Kontaktperson  1. Klasse ( somebody having contact with a confirmed case)  here in Germany , meaning his sister could go two school unless her brother tests positive then she would be upgraded to her brother's current status .  And I'm this close to develop a case of anxiety sore throat . 

[Hangin Out]

17 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Thanks @Oldernowiser. I’m sorry you’re going through that too with your mom on top of dealing with her dementia.  That’s a lot for anyone to handle. Big, squishy hugs to you!

@lookeyloo thanks for that hug. I’ll take all I can get.

@Jenniferbug I’m happy your power is back on!  And your internet too! I hope you get an awesome, patient, understanding insurance adjuster. It makes all the difference in the world, and I hope your home is restored better than before. 

I understand what you are saying about your Mother.  My mother NEVER once complimented me on anything .. always negative.  We lived upstairs from her.  After five years, we had to move because I was getting ulcers from her criticisms.  The best day of my life as I felt free.  Ironically, out of us three daughters, I was the one who did everything for her in her old age.  Sometimes mother’s get jealous of their own daughters for some reason.  What else could it be?  Plus, I was the one most devastated when she died.  I have two daughters and never criticize them ever.  Always compliment.  I’m sorry you have to go thru this.  Do you have to live with her?

 

16 hours ago, Liddy52 said:

Sadly, this is so true. I have a sister that goes for the jugular.  For some reason, since my mother passed away, she feels she needs to tell me every way I have offended her or fallen short for the past 60 years! She is brutal at times and it comes out of no where. Before our mother died, I thought my sister and I got along well and that we worked well together in taking care of my mother. However as we have been settling the estate,  she has made it clear that I have failed in many aspects most of our lives. It has been heart breaking for me at times. I honestly have no beef with her. I cannot tell you a single time she ever upset me or hurt my feelings prior to our working on the estate together. I used to defend her to my mother and other sister when they would complain about her. I thought she was the most moral person I knew. I don't know if our relationship will survive the strain. I used to talk to her every day, sometimes more than once. Now we only speak when we have to regarding business. I know that I  am to blame also as we had some differences of opinion on how to settle the estate. I feel as if I have lost my sister as well as my mother. 

I feel as if I wrote this myself.  My sister sat in another room while we settled our Fathers estate.  I haven’t heard from her since 1998.

[Nysha]

10 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

12 hours ago, Nysha said:

This is really a minor issue, but my air conditioners in the kitchen & my bedroom have both died due to the extreme heat we're having. Which isn't the issue. My apartment building has been invaded by sugar ants. I've been sprinkling diatomaceous dirt wherever they congregate, but there are always stragglers in weird places and they keep coming back. Today I came home to a sink full of dishes with food on them and more tiny ants than I've ever seen. My son apparently decided he didn't like the pork roast that he was eating, even dipped in ranch which the ants seem to love. I'm sleeping at my friend's because of the heat, but before I go I'm going to have to stand in a hot kitchen and try to clean while ants crawl around. I'm to the point that if my hair touches my face I almost claw it off because I've had ants crawling on me and it's freaking me out.

I’ll post this again just in case the exterminator doesn’t get to you timely.  When I had them in my kitchen, Terminix used some specific gel for sugar ants. They haven’t been back since. 

https://www.domyown.com/

Thank you, @Ijustwantsomechips. I have to deal with this myself b/c I can't afford an exterminator and my landlord would never pay for one. He's a slum lord, he buys run down apartments and does the bare minimum required to make them livable. But, it's cheap for my area, allows pets, and my best friend lives downstairs.

[Hangin Out]

6 minutes ago, Nysha said:

Thank you, @Ijustwantsomechips. I have to deal with this myself b/c I can't afford an exterminator and my landlord would never pay for one. He's a slum lord, he buys run down apartments and does the bare minimum required to make them livable. But, it's cheap for my area, allows pets, and my best friend lives downstairs.

Sprinkle cinnamon.  I read that ants hate cinnamon.  Exterminator is the best tho.  I paid $60 for in the house and out.  I live in the woods, so we get spiders.  I got bit 2 yrs ago from a spider and wound up in hospital for 8 days from cellulitis from the bite.  On penicillin.  

[GeeGolly]

9 hours ago, lianau said:

So there is a confirmed Covid case in my nephew's kindergarten group . All children are now in quarantine until August 28th .BUT that quarantine should have started on August 13th . And my brother and sister in law and all the other parents got that news on August the 17th  , in the evening , after my nephew had another day in kindergarten and nobody found that weird or anything . Since August the 13th my nephew attended his cousin's first day of 1st grade celebration with all of us  and his mother's birthday party that was ironically (ha ha  very funny ) yesterday . Right now he is what is called a Kontaktperson  1. Klasse ( somebody having contact with a confirmed case)  here in Germany , meaning his sister could go two school unless her brother tests positive then she would be upgraded to her brother's current status .  And I'm this close to develop a case of anxiety sore throat . 

Yikes, that protocol doesn't even make much sense. Sounds a lot like what's happening in the US.

I'd be having anxiety as well. I hope it all turns out for the best!

[Oldernowiser]

Nysha, Amazon has some ant traps that work great with sugar ants.

 I feel your pain...we had a long cold wet spring and since we have an air exchange vent in our wall (as required by local code) some kind of ant apparently used the wall above it as a great warm place to colonize. A month ago all the new winged ants hatched...and instead of going out the way they came in, they were emerging everywhere. 
We spent ten days vacuuming flying ants off the windows. And screw the county...that vent is now blocked.

2020. Gawdamighty.

Edited August 18, 2020 by Oldernowiser

[fonfereksglen]

14 hours ago, Nysha said:

This is really a minor issue, but my air conditioners in the kitchen & my bedroom have both died due to the extreme heat we're having. Which isn't the issue. My apartment building has been invaded by sugar ants. I've been sprinkling diatomaceous dirt wherever they congregate, but there are always stragglers in weird places and they keep coming back. Today I came home to a sink full of dishes with food on them and more tiny ants than I've ever seen. My son apparently decided he didn't like the pork roast that he was eating, even dipped in ranch which the ants seem to love. I'm sleeping at my friend's because of the heat, but before I go I'm going to have to stand in a hot kitchen and try to clean while ants crawl around. I'm to the point that if my hair touches my face I almost claw it off because I've had ants crawling on me and it's freaking me out.

Buy some Terro Ant Killer.  Cut off a few pieces of the provided box material, put a couple of drops on those pieces and place near the ants.  Suddenly, the drops will be surrounded by numerous ants who eat and go back to their nest and die, killing a bunch more ants as well. Easy and effective.

[CouchTater]

And the 2020 hits just keep coming.  A week ago the plumbing in my condo was fine, as far as I knew.  Ha!  Suddenly all watery hell broke lose, and now I'm undergoing a full re-piping!!!  $5,800 later.....ugh.

I had some cool plans for this year (all home improvement-type stuff) but that's all on indefinite hold now.  I'm thankful that I have the resources to have the very-necessary repairs done.  But I'm bummed, because plumbing is not sexy or exciting.  

[Oldernowiser]

Next up, the snakes crawl out of the cargo hold...

[Absolom]

32 minutes ago, fonfereksglen said:

Buy some Terro Ant Killer. 

That's the most effective ant killer I've ever found.  Ant traps have never worked for me.

And another extremely important point is never leave out even a crumb of food.  I was cat sitting for an extremely clean, house proud neighbor and walked in one day to an invasion of ants.  After cleaning up the ones I could see, I investigated and they were coming from a single cracker crumb two inches under the stove.  

[Ijustwantsomechips]

2 hours ago, Nysha said:

Thank you, @Ijustwantsomechips. I have to deal with this myself b/c I can't afford an exterminator and my landlord would never pay for one. He's a slum lord, he buys run down apartments and does the bare minimum required to make them livable. But, it's cheap for my area, allows pets, and my best friend lives downstairs.

You’re welcome! We have to look out for each other. My exterminator, who’s real chatty and real cute btw, said this company sells the exact same stuff the pros use. He isn’t allowed to spray in my attic, but he told me if I bought the stuff from that website, he’d do it for me off the record.  That sugar ant bait really knocked the little bastards out, along with finding their nest outside my kitchen window. Finding the nest might be a little tricky though.

1 hour ago, CouchTater said:

And the 2020 hits just keep coming.  A week ago the plumbing in my condo was fine, as far as I knew.  Ha!  Suddenly all watery hell broke lose, and now I'm undergoing a full re-piping!!!  $5,800 later.....ugh.

I had some cool plans for this year (all home improvement-type stuff) but that's all on indefinite hold now.  I'm thankful that I have the resources to have the very-necessary repairs done.  But I'm bummed, because plumbing is not sexy or exciting.  

That sucks! My air went out Sunday, but it was a relatively cheap fix...this time.  I hope nothing irreplaceable got damaged.

Edited August 18, 2020 by Ijustwantsomechips

[Ijustwantsomechips]

2 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I’m sorry you have to go thru this.  Do you have to live with her?

Thanks @Silver Bells. I’m sorry you went through that with your mother and I know just how it feels.  My mom spends so much energy catering to and worrying about my sisters and their kids, but as the single childless daughter, I’m the one that picks up the slack and does all the work.  We really are under appreciated, aren’t we? I know you were good daughter even if no one else told you so, and you sound like an awesome mother too. 

I think living together has been more beneficial for her than me, although it was helpful when I had surgery. And since it looks like I’ll be getting a hysterectomy for my 40th birthday, I might have to keep her around a little longer 😞 I’m sure I’ll snap at her, and then completely explode by the end of the week. Then she’ll pout and get over it about a week later.

I think everyone is going see the baby tomorrow, and I don’t even want to go but I don’t want to hear anyone’s mouth. I can’t bring myself to hold her no matter how cute she is.  I’m still processing this all but confirmed infertility, and cuddling with someone’s sweet but unplanned baby is just too much right now.  It feels like the universe is slapping me in the face.  And so help me God, if I hear “I feel so sorry for S because she just wants a baby like N” I’ll scream.  You feel sorry that she’s sad about not having a baby, but I’m not supposed to feel any kind of way even though you knew I was actively trying? 

Sorry I went off on that tangent but it’s been a lousy week emotionally.  I really need to find a therapist before I wear out my welcome here. 

[Oldernowiser]

I checked with Mr. Wiser, as he was in charge of All Things Ant while I sniveled, and apparently there are a zillion types of ants all of which have different agendas. He confirmed that with sugar ants you get either the bait that has sugar and borax or the traps that contain the same (we used traps because our retriever would have slurped that bait up in a nanosecond).

We tried the clove/cinnamon oil spray and all it did was ruin coffee cake for me, perhaps permanently, and it made the dogs sneeze. 

[Oldernowiser]

8 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I think everyone is going see the baby tomorrow, and I don’t even want to go but I don’t want to hear anyone’s mouth.

You do you and screw them. Stay home. We are in the middle of a pandemic...it doesn’t make any sense to have a zillion people over to breathe on a newborn (and each other) anyway.
Big fierce hug...

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, fonfereksglen said:

Buy some Terro Ant Killer.  Cut off a few pieces of the provided box material, put a couple of drops on those pieces and place near the ants.  Suddenly, the drops will be surrounded by numerous ants who eat and go back to their nest and die, killing a bunch more ants as well. Easy and effective.

Those work well for me also.

[Temperance]

20 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

You do you and screw them. Stay home. We are in the middle of a pandemic...it doesn’t make any sense to have a zillion people over to breathe on a newborn (and each other) anyway.
Big fierce hug...

Seconding....

[Hangin Out]

1 hour ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Thanks @Silver Bells. I’m sorry you went through that with your mother and I know just how it feels.  My mom spends so much energy catering to and worrying about my sisters and their kids, but as the single childless daughter, I’m the one that picks up the slack and does all the work.  We really are under appreciated, aren’t we? I know you were good daughter even if no one else told you so, and you sound like an awesome mother too. 

I think living together has been more beneficial for her than me, although it was helpful when I had surgery. And since it looks like I’ll be getting a hysterectomy for my 40th birthday, I might have to keep her around a little longer 😞 I’m sure I’ll snap at her, and then completely explode by the end of the week. Then she’ll pout and get over it about a week later.

I think everyone is going see the baby tomorrow, and I don’t even want to go but I don’t want to hear anyone’s mouth. I can’t bring myself to hold her no matter how cute she is.  I’m still processing this all but confirmed infertility, and cuddling with someone’s sweet but unplanned baby is just too much right now.  It feels like the universe is slapping me in the face.  And so help me God, if I hear “I feel so sorry for S because she just wants a baby like N” I’ll scream.  You feel sorry that she’s sad about not having a baby, but I’m not supposed to feel any kind of way even though you knew I was actively trying? 

Sorry I went off on that tangent but it’s been a lousy week emotionally.  I really need to find a therapist before I wear out my welcome here. 

No problem.  You have all these wonderful people here behind you.  Who am I to talk.  My divorced Son has been living with us in our two bedroom condo for five years now.  I can’t say it’s a bad thing, as he’s been a big help to both me and my husband.  He works, but still helps when he comes home.  It’s like having a handy man around the house free of charge.  Anything I ask .. he does, so I know exactly what you mean about having her around.  You help each other like we do.  As long as we stay out of each other’s business, haha.  I wait until he goes to work to make my phone calls, lol.  Feel better, and don’t give up the faith.  You seem young yet, and things happen for the better when you least expect it. 🥰

[Ijustwantsomechips]

Thanks @Oldernowiser @Temperance and @Silver Bells. I love my cousin, but she’s a bit of a spoiled attention-seeker.  Maybe I’ll feel differently tomorrow, but I’m really not feeling it today.

And can I just say I glad I found this forum.  Who knew people as vile as the Duggars could bring about some much needed support in my life.  You guys are awesome!

[CherryMalotte]

21 hours ago, thehorseofpower said:

I just don’t understand why my mom can always sympathize with another younger cousin who doesn’t have children but wants them, yet I’m supposed to suck it up like I’m not in the same boat, but with all types of complications.  Why on earth, if you know I’m having fertility issues, would you want to give me a play-by-play of someone’s pregnancy, labor, delivery and parenthood?  And why do you not get that it feels like it’s being rubbed in my face?  I love my mom, but sometimes she really is annoying as fuck!

Yes they are.  Unfortunately sometimes you do have to stomp the foot down and say ENOUGH!  I never understood my mom...she could be so supportive of others and then cut me down with the sharpest of verbal knives.   I still miss my mom, there's things that have happened lately that I wish we could converse about, but I don't miss the slice and dice portion of her emotional programs, that's for sure, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

We lost power for three days after that derecho fun, and no internet for a week so no work from home for me, I had the supreme joy of driving into the job.  It was bizarre, most everybody is still social distancing, barely anybody in the office unless their job requires it, or they were storm hit.  It wasn't scary...but just eerie to have the office so quiet.  Worst part - throwing everything in the fridge away.  The freezer stuff was almost thawed out all the way, and hardly anything in the fridge portion was even cool feeling.  Food poisoning isn't anything I want to suffer again so out it went.   On top of that I got locked out of my bank account, and with no internet access, so I couldn't reset the password until Friday early evening.   

I think if we can get thru November...we can get thru anything. 

[galaxychaser]

2 hours ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Thanks @Silver Bells. I’m sorry you went through that with your mother and I know just how it feels.  My mom spends so much energy catering to and worrying about my sisters and their kids, but as the single childless daughter, I’m the one that picks up the slack and does all the work.  We really are under appreciated, aren’t we? I know you were good daughter even if no one else told you so, and you sound like an awesome mother too. 

I think living together has been more beneficial for her than me, although it was helpful when I had surgery. And since it looks like I’ll be getting a hysterectomy for my 40th birthday, I might have to keep her around a little longer 😞 I’m sure I’ll snap at her, and then completely explode by the end of the week. Then she’ll pout and get over it about a week later.

I think everyone is going see the baby tomorrow, and I don’t even want to go but I don’t want to hear anyone’s mouth. I can’t bring myself to hold her no matter how cute she is.  I’m still processing this all but confirmed infertility, and cuddling with someone’s sweet but unplanned baby is just too much right now.  It feels like the universe is slapping me in the face.  And so help me God, if I hear “I feel so sorry for S because she just wants a baby like N” I’ll scream.  You feel sorry that she’s sad about not having a baby, but I’m not supposed to feel any kind of way even though you knew I was actively trying? 

Sorry I went off on that tangent but it’s been a lousy week emotionally.  I really need to find a therapist before I wear out my welcome here. 

You will never wear out your welcome here! I’m sorry you are going through this. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

I hope things get back to normal for your family and your community as soon as possible @CherryMalotte. We get hurricanes here, and throw in the great flood of 2016 and I’ve seen my share of power outages.  

Thanks @galaxychaser!

[galaxychaser]

1 hour ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

Thanks

And can I just say I glad I found this forum.  Who knew people as vile as the Duggars could bring about some much needed support in my life.  You guys are awesome!

Agree 100%

[Oldernowiser]

ijustwantsomechips...one other thought...that exterminator guy was flirting with you big time.

Just sayin’...

[Churchhoney]

30 minutess ago, GeeGolly said:

"The following women had babies prior to and early in their careers and had continued success. I Love Lucy aired from 1951 - 1957, Lucille Ball's kids were born in 1951 and 1953. Cher had her first child during her 60s hit show, Sonny and Cher. 1970s songstress Carole King had children in 1960, 1962, 1971 and 1974.  Gloris Estefan, popular in the 1980s had her first child in 1980. 

"A woman having a child or children at the start of, or during a career does not necessarily mean the career is over."

 

Just FYI, I explicitly  said both times I mentioned this that I was  talking only about people who are in the first couple years off one of the talent shows. I never said -- and I tried to make this plain -- that I was talking about the talent-show alums, not about show business in general. 

I never said that having children was a problem for a show-business career. I never said that having children early was a problem for a show-business career. I never ever said that a show-business career was over if a woman had kids. 

I explicitly said that having children early was likely to be a problem for a person just coming off one of these reality-tv talent shows like Idol,, because of the well-known contract and payment issues and the well-known industry-wide skepticism and bias about people who come off the talent shows. 

That's all I said.  That's all I meant. That's all I was talking about. That's the situation Gabby is in. She's not in the situation of Lucille Ball, who had her first kid at 40, after she'd already had 22 successful years in show business -- and was never on a tv talent show!

 

 

 

 

Edited August 18, 2020 by Churchhoney

[lianau]

7 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Yikes, that protocol doesn't even make much sense. Sounds a lot like what's happening in the US.

I'd be having anxiety as well. I hope it all turns out for the best!

It sort of makes sense if your talking co workers or friends.  Right now my nephew had contact in kindergarten with a confirmed case  but his parents and sister only had contact with him , not a confirmed case . So they are considered less "dangerous".  If your co worker or friend  had contact with a person who had contact with a confirmed case you probably haven't spend all your time outside work or other activities with each other . Making this contact with a contact a thing in families however doesn't take into consideration that families share a home , bathrooom , livingroom , everything almost 24/7. In such cases, I think your family should get the same contact status . All in quarantine , not just one member and good luck to the rest . 

My nephew gets tested tomorrow so we'll see   how that turns out .

 

Edited August 18, 2020 by lianau

[GeeGolly]

8 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

30 minutess ago, GeeGolly said:

"The following women had babies prior to and early in their careers and had continued success. I Love Lucy aired from 1951 - 1957, Lucille Ball's kids were born in 1951 and 1953. Cher had her first child during her 60s hit show, Sonny and Cher. 1970s songstress Carole King had children in 1960, 1962, 1971 and 1974.  Gloris Estefan, popular in the 1980s had her first child in 1980. 

"A woman having a child or children at the start of, or during a career does not necessarily mean the career is over."

 

Just FYI, I explicitly  said both times I mentioned this that I was  talking only about people who are in the first couple years off one of the talent shows. I never said -- and I tried to make this plain -- that I was talking about the talent-show alums, not about show business in general. 

I never said that having children was a problem for a show-business career. I never said that having children early was a problem for a show-business career. I never ever said that a show-business career was over if a woman had kids. 

I explicitly said that having children early was likely to be a problem for a person just coming off one of these reality-tv talent shows like Idol,, because of the well-known contract and payment issues and the well-known industry-wide skepticism and bias about people who come off the talent shows. 

That's all I said.  That's all I meant. That's all I was talking about. That's the situation Gabby is in. She's not in the situation of Lucille Ball, who had her first kid at 40, after she'd already had 22 successful years in show business -- and was never on a tv talent show!

 

 

 

 

Understood. BTW, there were a lot of posts between your post and this post. If I've offended you in some way, I didn't mean to.

[Jenniferbug]

@CherryMalotte, are you a fellow Iowan or in another affected area? Just curious, but understand if you'd rather not say 😊

[Churchhoney]

21 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Understood. BTW, there were a lot of posts between your post and this post. If I've offended you in some way, I didn't mean to.

I just wanted you to know that I wasn't making the stupid blanket statement you seemed to think I'd made! ....

I wasn't offended, but I was frustrated because I'd intended to make a narrow point and I'd tried to make it carefully.....And then, boom, suddenly I was thought to be saying that the first child Lucille Ball had at age 40 after 22 years in show business should have tanked her career! 

 

Edited August 18, 2020 by Churchhoney

[GeeGolly]

24 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

I just wanted you to know that I wasn't making the stupid blanket statement you seemed to think I'd made! ....

I wasn't offended, but I was frustrated because I'd intended to make a narrow point and I'd tried to make it carefully.....And then, boom, suddenly I was thought to be saying that the first child Lucille Ball had at age 40 after 22 years in show business should have tanked her career! 

 

Glad I didn't offend you! I was just confused because there were like three other posts before mine referencing stars who had children. 

[Scarlett45]

7 hours ago, CouchTater said:

And the 2020 hits just keep coming.  A week ago the plumbing in my condo was fine, as far as I knew.  Ha!  Suddenly all watery hell broke lose, and now I'm undergoing a full re-piping!!!  $5,800 later.....ugh.

I had some cool plans for this year (all home improvement-type stuff) but that's all on indefinite hold now.  I'm thankful that I have the resources to have the very-necessary repairs done.  But I'm bummed, because plumbing is not sexy or exciting.  

No it’s not and you have to do it! Of course you’d rather spend the money on other things. I’m so sorry. 

[Hangin Out]

2 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

ijustwantsomechips...one other thought...that exterminator guy was flirting with you big time.

Just sayin’...

Lol .. I thought the same thing.  Does she know if he married? Or not?  If not, she HAS to give him a call.  An attic can be romantic, lol.  Find out.  I’m excited.  We all need some romantic diversion here in these times.

[Zella]

@Ijustwantsomechips I second/third/fourth all the suggestions that you don't have to go visit your cousin if you don't want to, especially since your family is being so insensitive in general. 

[CherryMalotte]

1 hour ago, Jenniferbug said:

@CherryMalotte, are you a fellow Iowan or in another affected area? Just curious, but understand if you'd rather not say 😊

I'm a FIB, if you know what that is - outside Chicago by a county or two or three....

A couple of days with no power and internet is an inconvenience, but so much better than people that lost crops, trees, or had structure damage.  I'm very lucky.  Every block in our town though...there were trees and branches just flattened.  Sad to say that so many older trees are going to be taken down, it breaks my heart.  I hate losing old trees, there's something so majestic about their tall reach, the shade they provide, the housing they offer various birds and animals. 

My kid is moving out the first week of September...and while I'm sure I'll miss her, I'm kinda looking forward to her being OUT.  The house will be quieter, I won't have to listen to 90 Fiance crap in the background.  She's really gonna have to pay on her own utility bills now, and I look forward to that as well.  Time to really grow up!   

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, CherryMalotte said:

I won't have to listen to 90 Fiance crap in the background. 

I quoted this part because my Mom, who hates reality tv has gotten hooked on 90 Day with me during Covid! At first I thought she was just being a good sport and wanting company but her commentary was so funny.

From- “Child go home. Pack your bags and go home- this was a bad idea.”

to..... “how many words are spoken before these people decide to procreate???”  I love it. 

[Mindthinkr]

11 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

Next up, the snakes crawl out of the cargo hold...

Well...you’ll never guess what I’m dealing with. Yup snakes. In our area there has been an explosion of copperheads. 
I’m mostly seeing a lot of the harmless ones. I’ll start down the back steps and voilá one’s there. It slithers under the bushes, but I have to thru those same bushes to turn on the water for my plants. So let’s just say I’m toting water from the kitchen. Who sells thigh high snake boots lol? I’m so short regular knee high wouldn’t be tall enough. Feel free to laugh at me. 
   

[SunnyBeBe]

Be careful of the snakes...man. I had somewhat of a different experience. Today I had the opportunity to spend some time with my young niece sitting out on the deck. Covid has really changed things. I hope we can regain the closeness. We sat apart and I wore my mask. 
 

We had a little visitor. Cute little guy with quite a personality. He posed and was very friendly. I even gave him a little water. Lol  He  walked around on the patio table resting, then walking over to the next person for  over an hour! Never seen anything like it.