Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[MargeGunderson]

I have also gone down the rabbit hole of watching the brothers react to music. My favorites so far are Nina Simone’s Feeling Good and The Rolling Stones Give Me Shelter. But I have to say they make me feel so old!

[Nysha]

@Happyfatchick, my mom's dad died when she was 6 and it left a hole in her heart that was never filled. I really hope that he and my grandma were there when she passed away.

I was raised fundy, switched to evangelical as an adult and slowly realized how toxic my church was under the guise of supporting me after my husband died. When I moved to go to college I gave up church. In the last 10 years I've gone from not going to church to being an atheist. But my mom truly believed in God and tried to be a true follower of Christ. If there is a heaven, she is there.

 

[latetotheparty]

8 hours ago, Zella said:

Yeah my taste veers more toward folk, indie, alternative. I listen to perhaps embarrassing amounts of cello rock. LOL

Zella, if you’re on Instagram you should check out @thepunkcellist. He does amazing stuff and you might like him. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

I used to slash my 7s.

I slash my zeroes if it’s a situation where it isn’t clear if it is an O or a zero, like when I write my email address, I slash the zero.

I write my Zs in cursive, and I have done that since at least late elementary school. My handwriting isn’t great to begin with, and the printed Zs always looked weird. I did try the slash for a while, and then I landed on writing them cursive. I write in cursive a lot overall. I know the current lore is that younger people can’t read or write cursive, neither of which I have found to be true, but sometimes it takes people a second to recognize the cursive Z.
 

I write with typewriter As just because I like the look of it. And I write small capital Rs instead of r because it makes my handwriting more legible. However, now that my twin first graders are in the thick of reading and writing, I write anything they should read slowly and the correct way, and I wonder if I will get so used to it that I won’t go back to my typewriter As.

[Scarlett45]

One thing I don’t like about this entire Covid-19 situation is that I’ve lost my morning pep!! Getting up is such a struggle. And I used to be an annoyingly cheery person in the morning. Full of energy and vigor. 

[doodlebug]

On 8/13/2020 at 6:41 PM, Happyfatchick said:

You people!!!  I’d never seen anything about them, so I chased that rabbit down it’s hole.  And of COURSE had to watch them for THREE HOURS.  Absolutely worth it, and I’ve successfully managed to hook several more suckers.  I loved the Phill Collins when the drum segment (one of the most recognized drum segments in recorded history, I’d venture) breaks in.  Their faces!!!  But I gotta tell you, Jolene stole my heart!!!  Those two hip hoppin black boys loved Dolly!!!  I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall when Dolly watched that video of them listening to her.  I bet she loved it!!  The other one that tore my skin a little was Sound of Silence [by the man/band I can never recall the name of but looks like he eats kittens and babies for breakfast].  What a reaction!  I thought the one might cry.  And he kept saying “he’s SAYIN something right there!!”   We were driving down the road and my husband had his iPod hooked in the first time I heard that.  I was STUNNED.  First, the version is ridiculous beautiful.  Second, MY husband knew of this song???  Stunned, I say.  

you know, I’ve been hearing that song for 40(?) years and Ive always loved it, but have never been quite sure of the message, myself.  He was saying SOMEthing though. 

One of the things I love about those boys is how closely they listen to the lyrics and how excited they get to hear a song that tells a story.  I love great lyrics, too, and was so happy to see those kids paying attention to the message as well as the music

Edited August 14, 2020 by doodlebug

[Ijustwantsomechips]

3 hours ago, latetotheparty said:

Zella, if you’re on Instagram you should check out @thepunkcellist. He does amazing stuff and you might like him. 

I love cello rock, or really cello anything since I started playing in January. It’s very soothing.  Brooklyn Duo, Break of Reality and Vitamin String Quartet are some of my favorites but they mostly cover pop song. 

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

One thing I don’t like about this entire Covid-19 situation is that I’ve lost my morning pep!! Getting up is such a struggle. And I used to be an annoyingly cheery person in the morning. Full of energy and vigor. 

I found it hard to get my day started too when I worked from home.  I had to sit outside and eat breakfast just to have some semblance of a morning routine. That helped tremendously.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

I bet the Duggars are just loving this!

https://apple.news/AHh4HkEFIQmyiaLTi3LhOOw

[Scarlett45]

I accidentally put this post in the Sister Wives forum!!🤣
 

In somewhat serious news- remember I mentioned my Great Aunt and cousin are living in a hoarding situation (they are clean still but that’s it). After I assessed the situation I made the decision to send a DM to my father’s brother in who lives out of state for help- my cousin won’t listen to me for a variety of reasons (namely my age) but she respects and trusts him.
 

He and I don’t have a relationship outside of social media, but I believe he loves our Aunt and would try to help. He didn’t respond to my DM but he is IN CHICAGO! Thank god! Maybe he will roll by the family house and see for his own eyes and lay down the law with his little cousin. I have hope guys!!

 

Best case my great Aunt can go to a memory care facility and my cousin can stay with someone (along with her dog and cat) AT LEAST for a few nights until the house gets cleaned up, and my cousin can get some treatment for her depression. The house is still livable but that junk must go and repairs must be made!

[Zella]

3 hours ago, latetotheparty said:

Zella, if you’re on Instagram you should check out @thepunkcellist. He does amazing stuff and you might like him. 

Thanks! I have an Instagram, but I mainly use it for monitoring fundies and true crime stuff. I'll check him out! 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

One thing I don’t like about this entire Covid-19 situation is that I’ve lost my morning pep!! Getting up is such a struggle. And I used to be an annoyingly cheery person in the morning. Full of energy and vigor. 

SAME

[GeeGolly]

@Oldernowiser, have you seen these? Saw them during a drive-by birthday and thought of you. (they're eye glasses)

[Oldernowiser]

Thanks for the laugh, GG!!!

 

[emma675]

Scarlett45, I hope the situation gets resolved. Hoarding seems to be a complicated mental illness with no easy answers. 

The neighborhood hoarder here who claimed to have hurt himself after code compliance visited has now been seen 1. scooting around his front yard in a wheelchair, 2. on crutches, and 3. walking around just fine. All at different times in the same week and in no particular order. I feel like hoarding is just the tip of the iceberg of mental problems with this guy. 

Edited August 14, 2020 by emma675d

[Scarlett45]

9 minutes ago, emma675 said:

Scarlett45, I hope the situation gets resolved. Hoarding seems to be a complicated mental illness with no easy answers. 

The neighborhood hoarder here who claimed to have hurt himself after code compliance visited has now been seen 1. scooting around his front yard in a wheelchair, 2. on crutches, and 3. walking around just fine. All at different times in the same week and in no particular order. I feel like hoarding is just the tip of the iceberg of mental problems with this guy. 

Yes. I know how to be a caregiver to someone with dementia, I don’t know how to deal with the the psychology around hoarding. I DO know it’s not just a money/human power situation to clean the place up, as I have seen on Hoarders on A&E when loved ones do that, 2 or 3 years later the place is hoarded up again. I’ve been saying for a year “this is bad, clean up the house.” And now it’s Growing!! And the appliances are dying. They ARE personally clean and everything but what happens if the plumbing breaks??? Best to do something now before it becomes uninhabitable. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

Another thought on handwriting: for M,m,N,n,g, and y, I have no set way I write them. Sometimes the Ms and Ns have humps, sometimes they have points. Sometimes I loop the lower part of the g and y, sometimes open, sometimes the y has points. 
 

I have always thought this was weird, but I think I also have my mother’s sharp tongue in my head.

So, does anyone else change around letter formation with no rhyme or reason?

PS I really hate the “does anyone else” questions. Every time I see one, the answer is always a resounding “yes! You are not unique!” But I couldn’t think of a better way to phrase it. Maybe I have Duggar social media on the brain, ie, Jill’s “does anyone else like chocolate milk?”

[Zella]

6 minutes ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Another thought on handwriting: for M,m,N,n,g, and y, I have no set way I write them. Sometimes the Ms and Ns have humps, sometimes they have points. Sometimes I loop the lower part of the g and y, sometimes open, sometimes the y has points. 
 

I have always thought this was weird, but I think I also have my mother’s sharp tongue in my head.

So, does anyone else change around letter formation with no rhyme or reason?

PS I really hate the “does anyone else” questions. Every time I see one, the answer is always a resounding “yes! You are not unique!” But I couldn’t think of a better way to phrase it. Maybe I have Duggar social media on the brain, ie, Jill’s “does anyone else like chocolate milk?”

I'll have to check mine. One of the biggest problems with mine apparently is the letters are so amorphously formed. A friend of mine told me my penmanship is like the written equivalent of mumbling. That's actually a pretty fair analysis of it. LOL

[Jenniferbug]

Day 5 with no power. The storm that hit Iowa is called a derecho and had wind speeds the same as a category 2 hurricane, and has had next to no media coverage. Family members from out of state who we sent pictures to keep saying they had no idea it was this bad because it's not being shown or talked about, which is so weird since this is not normal Iowa weather! I know Iowa is a middle of nowhere state, but geez. People are hurting and there is no help coming. 

We're supposed to get more winds and hail tonight, with the possibility of tornadoes. They're not predicting it be as bad as Monday's storm but they weren't predicting Monday being bad either. I'm a little worried about the debris still on the ground around the state being blown around and causing more damage. 

Our school board voted to push the start of school back by 2 weeks because of damage to the schools. 

I'm so ready for this year to be over. 

[GeeGolly]

10 minutes ago, Jenniferbug said:

Day 5 with no power. The storm that hit Iowa is called a derecho and had wind speeds the same as a category 2 hurricane, and has had next to no media coverage. Family members from out of state who we sent pictures to keep saying they had no idea it was this bad because it's not being shown or talked about, which is so weird since this is not normal Iowa weather! I know Iowa is a middle of nowhere state, but geez. People are hurting and there is no help coming. 

We're supposed to get more winds and hail tonight, with the possibility of tornadoes. They're not predicting it be as bad as Monday's storm but they weren't predicting Monday being bad either. I'm a little worried about the debris still on the ground around the state being blown around and causing more damage. 

Our school board voted to push the start of school back by 2 weeks because of damage to the schools. 

I'm so ready for this year to be over. 

So sorry Jenny B. Having lived through a horrible weather event I feel for you. It sucks to have little to no control over getting things back in order. Hang in there. Crossing my fingers that tonight's weather forecast is a miss.

[emma675]

26 minutes ago, Jenniferbug said:

Day 5 with no power. The storm that hit Iowa is called a derecho and had wind speeds the same as a category 2 hurricane, and has had next to no media coverage. Family members from out of state who we sent pictures to keep saying they had no idea it was this bad because it's not being shown or talked about, which is so weird since this is not normal Iowa weather! I know Iowa is a middle of nowhere state, but geez. People are hurting and there is no help coming. 

We're supposed to get more winds and hail tonight, with the possibility of tornadoes. They're not predicting it be as bad as Monday's storm but they weren't predicting Monday being bad either. I'm a little worried about the debris still on the ground around the state being blown around and causing more damage. 

Our school board voted to push the start of school back by 2 weeks because of damage to the schools. 

I'm so ready for this year to be over. 

Oh man, that suuuuucks. I hope the power comes back on sooner rather than later. Down here in Texas we've had coverage of it but I think that's because we get derechos here fairly regularly (in west Texas). I knew exactly what that was when I heard it but I didn't realize they could happen so far north. 

[galaxychaser]

37 minutes ago, Jenniferbug said:

Day 5 with no power. The storm that hit Iowa is called a derecho and had wind speeds the same as a category 2 hurricane, and has had next to no media coverage. Family members from out of state who we sent pictures to keep saying they had no idea it was this bad because it's not being shown or talked about, which is so weird since this is not normal Iowa weather! I know Iowa is a middle of nowhere state, but geez. People are hurting and there is no help coming. 

We're supposed to get more winds and hail tonight, with the possibility of tornadoes. They're not predicting it be as bad as Monday's storm but they weren't predicting Monday being bad either. I'm a little worried about the debris still on the ground around the state being blown around and causing more damage. 

Our school board voted to push the start of school back by 2 weeks because of damage to the schools. 

I'm so ready for this year to be over. 

I’m sorry 

[Jenniferbug]

21 minutes ago, emma675 said:

Oh man, that suuuuucks. I hope the power comes back on sooner rather than later. Down here in Texas we've had coverage of it but I think that's because we get derechos here fairly regularly (in west Texas). I knew exactly what that was when I heard it but I didn't realize they could happen so far north. 

I don't know that Iowa has ever had one before! Definitely not in my lifetime, and my mother said she had never heard of such a thing either. I feel so sorry for people who have to deal with these regularly! 

39 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

So sorry Jenny B. Having lived through a horrible weather event I feel for you. It sucks to have little to no control over getting things back in order. Hang in there. Crossing my fingers that tonight's weather forecast is a miss.

Thank you! I think the lack of control is most frustrating. Energy company won't even provide estimates of when we might have power again so we just have to wait. And then there's no guarantee we'll have internet when power does come back. Meanwhile, work is giving me the choice between using all my vacation time or going unpaid...even though the storm path took out most of the employees in the state. I think progress is being made in getting power restored to some areas, but others will be waiting for quite a bit longer still. 

[Hangin Out]

On 7/22/2020 at 10:00 AM, Silver Bells said:

I can.  I married her son as a Virgin at 22.  She was jealous of me from Day 1 as my husband always praised me.  In one of my mother in laws jealous rants, I heard she call me a “cunt” and my lovely Mother a “scrub woman”.  Trouble with her my whole marriage.  Boy, when she died, I laughed.  How’s that?  It’s sooo good to get this out of my system here.  Thank you!   P.s.  Still married forever.

 

 

 

I have to add the best part of this scenario about my mother in law.  When she moved from Brooklyn to Long Island, I heard her neighbors threw a block party to celebrate her moving away.  How’s that?  That was proof how bad she was evenin the neighborhood.

[galaxychaser]

It’s a T-shirt 🤣

[Scarlett45]

Today’s a hard day. I have a virtual therapy appointment tomorrow morning. Work has been stressful and I am sad and bored and lonely. 
 

I know I’m really fortunate to have so many friends to talk to but all of this virtual stuff is getting weary. And I have you guys, but I’m missing those dopamine hits. And I’m being a responsible adult and not shopping or eating sweets all the time because I have long term goals for my money and I don’t want to end up on My 600lbs life. 
 

Next week I will see some people in person but that week seems so far away. And I have to get this damn cavity filled. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Today’s a hard day. I have a virtual therapy appointment tomorrow morning. Work has been stressful and I am sad and bored and lonely. 
 

I know I’m really fortunate to have so many friends to talk to but all of this virtual stuff is getting weary. And I have you guys, but I’m missing those dopamine hits. And I’m being a responsible adult and not shopping or eating sweets all the time because I have long term goals for my money and I don’t want to end up on My 600lbs life. 
 

Next week I will see some people in person but that week seems so far away. And I have to get this damn cavity filled. 

Ugh, I’m sorry to hear it. I can totally relate to needing the dopamine hits. I feel like some weird fiend looking for anything stimulating. I sit outside and play on my phone and hope I see a squirrel, a glimpse of a neighbor, etc. It’s so sad.

Yesterday I had an amazingly productive day, and I had high hopes for today. But I was so crabby and irritable! I finally realized it’s because I feel cooped up and stuck at home.

[Minivanessa]

12 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Today’s a hard day. I have a virtual therapy appointment tomorrow morning. Work has been stressful and I am sad and bored and lonely. 

I know I’m really fortunate to have so many friends to talk to but all of this virtual stuff is getting weary. And I have you guys, but I’m missing those dopamine hits. And I’m being a responsible adult and not shopping or eating sweets all the time because I have long term goals for my money and I don’t want to end up on My 600lbs life. 

Next week I will see some people in person but that week seems so far away. And I have to get this damn cavity filled. 

 

11 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Ugh, I’m sorry to hear it. I can totally relate to needing the dopamine hits. I feel like some weird fiend looking for anything stimulating. I sit outside and play on my phone and hope I see a squirrel, a glimpse of a neighbor, etc. It’s so sad.

Yesterday I had an amazingly productive day, and I had high hopes for today. But I was so crabby and irritable! I finally realized it’s because I feel cooped up and stuck at home.

Gosh. Have both of you been hanging around my condo invisibly? Because the deets are a little different but the reality is quite similar around here. I'm happy to have paid work to do from the safety of my home, no looming financial crises, and no bad health problems. 

It's not all bleak and awful all the time. But I'm having what I call struggle days. Feeling tired, unmotivated, lonely, pessimistic, frustrated. I can tell things have slid because my condo, while not filthy or trashed, is - messy. It needs a good clean, and paradoxically while I do get satisfaction when I've cleaned up a room, I'm in a phase where it's hard to get motivated to start cleaning. Early in the pandemic I was keeping this place clean and tidy and enjoying it. 

I did get out to our local Botanic Gardens last evening to meet up with some photographer friends. It's been hot, and there are some big wildfires burning in our state, and the air is hazy and sometimes nasty, from the smoke. But the heat let up a few degrees yesterday afternoon and I was glad to get out and wander the gardens. Not sure I got much by way of good photos but TBH that was really secondary. Finally just plopped down on a bench and enjoyed the breeze as the sun dropped lower in the sky. 

Sending good wishes to all. Such tough times. 

PS: I'm taking Thursday and Friday off work, and spending a couple of nights camping in my old minivan, in a state park campground about three hours down the road from here. It's helping to have that to look forward to. 

[ginger90]

Yesterday was day 21 in a row for work. I’m getting tired, disgusted, and old apparently. 
People have gone on unemployment, some for good reason, some just because they could, IMO.

Home health care isn’t what some people think it is, and they end up being useless, or quit. The office informed me the other day that they interviewed a bunch of people. Seems some didn’t follow through on pre-employment requirements. Hmmmmm, could it be the drug testing? The cynic in me says that is the case.

On the bright side, I have a job. Overtime is nice, but I’m actually sick of it. Best part is I have one person, and I’m not going from house to house all day.

🥱

[Oldernowiser]

Ginger90, I didn’t know you did home health care. You guys are THE BEST. My mom was in Assisted Living and the hourly staff there were so incredibly sweet to her. It takes such patience and compassion. We donated part of her trust to go specifically to all of the hourly employees there after she died...we could never have done for her what they did.

You all rock. 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

Yesterday was day 21 in a row for work. I’m getting tired, disgusted, and old apparently. 
People have gone on unemployment, some for good reason, some just because they could, IMO.

Home health care isn’t what some people think it is, and they end up being useless, or quit. The office informed me the other day that they interviewed a bunch of people. Seems some didn’t follow through on pre-employment requirements. Hmmmmm, could it be the drug testing? The cynic in me says that is the case.

On the bright side, I have a job. Overtime is nice, but I’m actually sick of it. Best part is I have one person, and I’m not going from house to house all day.

🥱

As someone who really appreciates home health workers and caregivers THANK YOU. M, my sister’s caregiver said how grateful she was to have this job during COVID-19, one house one family. I told her we were grateful to have HER- G retiring last summer was a blessing, she wouldn’t have been able to work though this. 

[Scarlett45]

I’m still blah. My bff invited me over for sushi and I said no, I’ll stay in and do chores. She’s in my bubble so we hang out at each other’s houses in these Covid-19 times, but I’m just not in the mood. 
 

In funny news my sister spilled her water today, and told the spilled puddle “no!” It cracked me the fuck up. 

[Oldernowiser]

Well, Scarlett45, your sense of humor is what’s going to get you through all this, I’m sure.

I am dealing with paperwork and trying to help wind up my mother’s estate, which is insanity and I’m not even the executor, my BIL is.

Everyone I deal with seems hellbent on keeping her money in their financial institutions until it’s pried out of their cold dead corporate claws. And my sister and I are beneficiaries, so this isn’t even probate stuff.

It does lead to some darkly funny moments... for example, we received a condolence email from one of her investment places. It began, “Dear Barbara,” which is her first name. It went on to offer her their sincere sympathies for the loss of...her. The real kicker? It was dated two weeks after her death. And they have the death certificate.

On my third attempt to find a customer service rep at her state IRA service company who had four working brain cells, I called, some guy answered, I told him why I was calling, he asked for “the deceased’s” full name, social security number, etc. All fine. Then he says, “And is your mother there on the call with you?”  I managed to keep it to, “she’s been dead for two weeks, which is why we’re talking,” instead of, “are you fucking kidding me?”

It’s been a character-building exercise, that’s for sure...
 

🙄🙄🙄
 

 

 

[Absolom]

I had two very interesting things when my step-dad died.  Terminex told me I couldn't discontinue the service.  I smartly replied, I sold the house, and I'm not paying you any more.  Call that whatever you want, but I'm done with you.  The post office forwarded one bill with his name on it.  I wrote deceased return to sender on it.  I think they got the hint.

On another one I wrote a note that he was deceased and got an extremely smart alecky response saying well IF he was deceased then I'd have to provide a death certificate, but since he wasn't pay the xxxx bill.  I copied that one and sent it straight to corporate.  

It's truly astounding how services can't figure out how to deal with the subscriber or contractee dying.  I did find one company that had a department of death.  They were very easy.  Here's the email address please attach a copy of the death certificate and put his account number and the word deceased in the subject line.

[SunnyBeBe]

I’m thinking about my cousin who has dementia. It’s so unfair. Everything in her life in her mind is gone. Just wishing she was here and remembering. I’m remembering it all for her.  Trying to stay strong. So many are. Have to believe there there will be better days.  Stay strong people. 
 

 

[ozziemom]

It took me over a year to cancel my dad’s EZPass after he died. They kept billing his credit card for service fees. Since he wasn’t going on any toll roads, seeing as he was dead! Grrrr.

[crazy8s]

1 minute ago, Absolom said:

It's truly astounding how services can't figure out how to deal with the subscriber or contractee dying.  I

I still get mail from the republican national party and AAA  for my grandfather who passed 20 years ago. he never lived here, but for a brief bit of time i handled the grandparents financials, so their mail came to my address.  I send them back saying deceased, long gap and then we get more crap

[Absolom]

1 hour ago, ozziemom said:

It took me over a year to cancel my dad’s EZPass after he died. They kept billing his credit card for service fees. Since he wasn’t going on any toll roads, seeing as he was dead! Grrrr.

That's when you cancel the credit card and file a claim against them as fraud. 

[crazy8s]

I will say writing return to sender and #NeverTrump has been quite effective in stopping dead grandfathers mail from the GOP

[Love2dance]

@ginger90, 21 days without a break is unthinkable, especially as a caretaker. You NEED to have some time off. I have the utmost respect for your profession after watching them care for my dad before he passed, and now for my brother who needs a companion for mental health. You are heroes. I hope you get a break soon!

[Temperance]

@Jenniferbug Do you have power yet? I hope you're okay. 

[lookeyloo]

Somebody send help!  My mind has gone!  I had a dream about the Duggars!  In it, I was with very young howlers.  I can't explain how I got there.  I don't know if it was the TTH.  They were asking me questions about the outside world and I was quietly telling them about choices, what real school would be like, not everyone is evil, etc.  They were all agog with that - then JB came over, sneered at me, and I woke up.

 

[galaxychaser]

42 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Somebody send help!  My mind has gone!  I had a dream about the Duggars!  In it, I was with very young howlers.  I can't explain how I got there.  I don't know if it was the TTH.  They were asking me questions about the outside world and I was quietly telling them about choices, what real school would be like, not everyone is evil, etc.  They were all agog with that - then JB came over, sneered at me, and I woke up.

 

I had a bad dream too. I was having sex with one of my doctors! Yikes that woke me up quick. Brain bleach please. 
 

I have never dreamt of the Duggar’s. Yet.

[emma675]

Jenniferbug, thinking of you tonight and hoping you've got power back finally. We've got a "mini derecho" in my part of Texas tonight. Storms moving in with winds 50 to 60 mph ahead of them. I'm hoping we don't lose power but I've got my phone charging and my flashlight and battery powered fan ready. Not to go all Jill Rodrigues, but I'm SO SEVERLY tired of bad weather this year!

Edited August 17, 2020 by emma675d

[dargosmydaddy]

I've had Duggar dreams before. They've all been very random/ bizarre... the one I can remember off the top of my head was Jessa's family living in a public library. I was trying to low-key spy on them while looking at books.

[fonfereksglen]

8 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

I've had Duggar dreams before. They've all been very random/ bizarre... the one I can remember off the top of my head was Jessa's family living in a public library. I was trying to low-key spy on them while looking at books.

In a dream, I once had a brief but very friendly conversation with Jessa.  My least favorite.  I stopped reading here for a few weeks.  

Edited August 17, 2020 by fonfereksglen

[louannems]

On 8/9/2020 at 2:10 PM, Oldernowiser said:

I don’t really know how to start this...and it’s hard to even type the words, which is probably why I’ve put it off.

My mom died last week. She did NOT have Covid, for which I am forever grateful. She had had a few more falls lately, including the last time I talked to her two days prior. I called and she was able to answer the phone but not get up from the floor to hit the alert wall call button. I called the AL front desk and they got her up and she seemed okay.

Two days later she seemed more confused than usual, so they took her to the ER for a CT scan. My saint of a sister, who lives four hours away, had gotten that call at something horrible like 4 a.m. and when she got to the hospital they wouldn’t let her in the ER due to the forty Covid positive patients waiting in the ER to be admitted. My sister could see the people through the ER windows and she said it was a scene from hell and my sister was a nurse.

The internal medicine doctor called my sister that afternoon to say they were planning to admit Mom overnight, just for observation, if they could find a bed, but that she was doing well, laughing and making friends with everyone there. The CT scan was negative and everything else checked out.

At 3 a.m. my sister was called at her hotel and told that Mom had died. Her heart rate, despite the pacemaker, just kept dropping and she quietly moved on. The hard part, like so many these days, is that she didn’t have family there. I couldn’t even get on a plane to go help, before or after, because it’s a five hour trip and just not worth the risk. I hadn’t seen her since Christmas.

No service. My sister took her ashes and my father’s and spread them to the winds, together, near where they lived for 45 years. 

She was 92. The thing about my mom, though, is that she was always so ALIVE. She was a natural, genuine extrovert and could make six new best friends in a gas station parking lot if you left her alone for three minutes. She was smart, kind, a terrific audience, and and even in her dementia years, still occasionally very funny. She sang all of the time, seemingly out of nowhere and was endlessly positive and cheerful.

(Needless to say, I take after my dad.)

Anyway, I’m still just sort of in shock. This is a woman who successfully battled severe heart disease for 25 years...her heart had been restarted twice. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say her death was “sudden”....but it was. Now it’s nothing but paperwork and more paperwork and every once in a while, I suddenly think, “Oh SHIT I forgot to call Mom today!!!” before I remember.

It could have been so much worse...cancer, being bedridden, her dying alone in the night at the AL place... so there’s that. Our relationship was complicated by the fact that she thought my father could do no wrong and he and I did not get along. At all. So, feelings.

So this is hard. 

My best to all of you who are also going through stuff. 2020 is just one rough, rough year. 

I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your Mom.  Even at 92, it can still be sudden.

My father in law, also 92, also in assisted living, died on the 4th of July.  It was sudden because he seemed so fine ,(and onery), just four days earlier. He was sent to the Er out of an abundance of caution, due to mild shortness of breath.  He died in his sleep of a ruptured heart valve.

My mom is 83 and incredibly active. To think she may be gone in nine years is hard to think about.

 

Take care!

[Turquoise]

In case anyone needs a Monday laugh...

My grandson tans beautifully, no thanks to me (Irish descent here). His other grandparents have a pool. and he is a little fish. Since there isn't much to do this summer, he has been swimming there a lot and is so dark. My mom was commenting on his tan this weekend and he said, "Yeah, but my butt is still white!"
#SayingsofTurquoise'sGrandson

[crazy8s]

see that grandson comment is funny even though I don't know the child. Jessa tries way too hard to make scripted things seem profound with her #sayingsofarandomchild

[Ijustwantsomechips]

So some of you may remember I’ve really been struggling with trying to convince. My age, weight and thyroid are all working against me, but I’ve been pushing through despite being surrounded by pregnant women in the family. I found out two weeks ago that my fibroids are back after having 23 removed during my second myomectomy two years ago. I can’t believe they’re back already!  And it’s only three but they’re a decent size.  I’ve already had two myomectomies and a D&C, so there’s nothing left to cut at this point. Surely I look like Swiss cheese on the inside. I was scheduled to meet with my gyn doctor next month for fertility testing, but I guess I’ll just switch it to a possible pre-op consultation for a hysterectomy because I know that’s the next step. I give up at this point but I gave it a good shot.  

OAN my cousin just had her baby, and she is adorable, but I can’t bring myself to hold her. I just cannot do it and I’m getting all kinds of flack from my mom and my sister again about how I’m jealous and hateful and I should be excited for her. Of course I’m happy for her, and I am glad she and the baby are doing well, I really am.  I just don’t understand why my mom can always sympathize with another younger cousin who doesn’t have children but wants them, yet I’m supposed to suck it up like I’m not in the same boat, but with all types of complications.  Why on earth, if you know I’m having fertility issues, would you want to give me a play-by-play of someone’s pregnancy, labor, delivery and parenthood?  And why do you not get that it feels like it’s being rubbed in my face?  I love my mom, but sometimes she really is annoying as fuck!

I know this is a non-issue compared to what some of out posters are going through, but I have nowhere and no one else to vent to. Thanks for listening. 

[crazy8s]

2 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

So some of you may remember I’ve really been struggling with trying to convince. My age, weight and thyroid are all working against me, but I’ve been pushing through despite being surrounded by pregnant women in the family. I found out two weeks ago that my fibroids are back after having 23 removed during my second myomectomy two years ago. I can’t believe they’re back already!  And it’s only three but they’re a decent size.  I’ve already had two myomectomies and a D&C, so there’s nothing left to cut at this point. Surely I look like Swiss cheese on the inside. I was scheduled to meet with my gyn doctor next month for fertility testing, but I guess I’ll just switch it to a possible pre-op consultation for a hysterectomy because I know that’s the next step. I give up at this point but I gave it a good shot.  

OAN my cousin just had her baby, and she is adorable, but I can’t bring myself to hold her. I just cannot do it and I’m getting all kinds of flack from my mom and my sister again about how I’m jealous and hateful and I should be excited for her. Of course I’m happy for her, and I am glad she and the baby are doing well, I really am.  I just don’t understand why my mom can always sympathize with another younger cousin who doesn’t have children but wants them, yet I’m supposed to suck it up like I’m not in the same boat, but with all types of complications.  Why on earth, if you know I’m having fertility issues, would you want to give me a play-by-play of someone’s pregnancy, labor, delivery and parenthood?  And why do you not get that it feels like it’s being rubbed in my face?  I love my mom, but sometimes she really is annoying as fuck!

I know this is a non-issue compared to what some of out posters are going through, but I have nowhere and no one else to vent to. Thanks for listening. 

I am so sorry this is what you are dealing with today. The disappointment must be so huge.

This is not a non-issue, as we are all dealing with things that effect our own lives in significant ways that are different from what others are experiencing, or out of our realm of experience. That doesn't make them any more or less important or hard.

Hope you have wise drs, who explain the options clearly so you can make the best right choice for you at this time