Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[PikaScrewChu]

On 6/19/2020 at 7:30 PM, Nysha said:

I'm hoping that my college doesn't have to do the online/work at home thing again b/c I'm pretty sure my position will be eliminated. 90% of what I do revolves around having students in the lab. Yesterday the Dean told my boss there has been some discussion about having her go to an 11 month contract & having me work part-time in another department. Given that both of us have contracts and our salary and benefits are written into the grant that funds us, I have a feeling someone at the college wants to do some slight of hand accounting to use our grant to cover their payroll. 

Not uncommon unfortunately. There is going to be a lot more of these "slight of hand" tricks until we fully recover from COVID. If it wasn't for the fact the departments I've worked for are extremely understaffed, I would be expecting more cuts to the admin staff. We're at the bare bones. They won't replace retiring admin assistants and their former duties end up being redistributed. I've gone in on weekends and the admin assistants will be there. Or they are replying to emails at 10 pm.

I'm having a bad day. It's become clear I was manipulated during my former relationship. The problem is I don't think he realized he was being manipulative. Not like it matters, I refuse to speak to him or his family. One of my physicians expressed serious concerns a couple years ago when he was asking questions but I brushed it off thinking he didn't know him like I did. God I'm so stupid.

[Oldernowiser]

At least you’re out of that mess...it’s funny how distance can restore your perspective sometimes. But breakups suck even when they’re for the best.

Sending you virtual ice cream and hugs.
 

 

[PikaScrewChu]

17 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

At least you’re out of that mess...it’s funny how distance can restore your perspective sometimes. But breakups suck even when they’re for the best.

Sending you virtual ice cream and hugs.
 

 

Thank you.

I've realized where I've made mistakes and I definitely need to work on myself before getting into another relationship. I'm giving myself all the time in the world before getting involved with anyone again. If it happen again, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't.

[Brookside]

My child is having elective surgery next week.  I support them in everything they do, but my heart hurts and I'm worried.  I appreciate all good thoughts and prayers, if that's your inclination.

[Brookside]

On 6/16/2020 at 8:32 PM, AnnaBaptist said:

Everyone has an accent.

Except me.

[GeeGolly]

I know there are some Ohioans in this group. Please be careful.

A large group of young adults traveled together and a few of them brought covid home with them and not all have been tested. So far the infected got at least two folks in the area sick. Half are from Belmont County, the rest are spread out through the state.

Edited June 24, 2020 by GeeGolly

[Scarlett45]

8 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I'm having a bad day. It's become clear I was manipulated during my former relationship. The problem is I don't think he realized he was being manipulative. Not like it matters, I refuse to speak to him or his family. One of my physicians expressed serious concerns a couple years ago when he was asking questions but I brushed it off thinking he didn't know him like I did. God I'm so stupid

You’re not stupid. Be glad you’re free of him and you’re not permanently tied to him via a business or offspring. 
 

Don’t worry about him and what his self awareness was at the time. GOOD you aren’t speaking to him or his family, you need closure and space. 

[Jeeves]

52 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

You’re not stupid. Be glad you’re free of him and you’re not permanently tied to him via a business or offspring. 

Don’t worry about him and what his self awareness was at the time. GOOD you aren’t speaking to him or his family, you need closure and space. 

@PikaScrewChu, I'm so on board with that^^. Wishing you well as you walk through this.

I've lurked for a few months but generally have been reading here regularly. Needed to stand down a bit and reduce my online time and involvement, which I did, and which was good. Have a mild case of the pandemic blues but I'm not freaking out, or sick, or destitute. Don't need anyone to send help over here, lolz. I've even given up the potato chips and candy that I snacked on, which packed on some extra weight. I'd cleaned up my eating for two years with good results, only to fall into a pit of comfort eating March through May. And back into my super fat-sized jeans which I hadn't worn for two years. Urgh.

More seriously, the worst thing in my life right now, is that I can't travel to another state where some relatives are coping with a very serious cancer diagnosis and treatment of their teenaged son. It's complicated; the short version is that if I were there I could help care for the kid's grandmother and take some daily/weekly grind off the kid's parents that way. But there would be no place for me to stay once I get there, save a hotel, which is a safety/money issue. The thing is, they are in a city and county where right now COVID cases are spiking like crazy and hospitals are feeling the pinch. Yeah, not just a lot of positive tests, but a lot of very sick people! They understand; we've had the conversation more than once. 

Hoping that your daughter is safe, @Jynnan tonnix, and sending good wishes to everyone here as well. 

Edited June 24, 2020 by Jeeves

[BetyBee]

I'm glad you posted, @Jeeves I hope you find a way to safely help your relatives. 

@PIKASCREWCHU- it's a process and you seem to be progressing beautifully. 

Lately I've taken all politics to twitter & cleaned up my FB feed by unfollowing nearly everything except my actual friends. My feed is clean and I'm seeing posts & pics I think I'd have missed before.  Today I'm going to get rid of groups that no longer interest me.  Recently I cleaned up my e-mail so that I only see what is current. I should have been this efficient in my working days!

Hope all are having a good day  😊

[Nysha]

10 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I'm having a bad day. It's become clear I was manipulated during my former relationship. The problem is I don't think he realized he was being manipulative...God I'm so stupid.

No, you're not stupid you're human. Whether he knew what he was doing or not, his behavior was still destructive. I'm glad you've gone no contact with him and his family and are giving yourself time to heal.

6 hours ago, Brookside said:

My child is having elective surgery next week.  I support them in everything they do, but my heart hurts and I'm worried.  I appreciate all good thoughts and prayers, if that's your inclination.

I will be praying for you and your son.

38 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

More seriously, the worst thing in my life right now, is that I can't travel to another state where some relatives are coping with a very serious cancer diagnosis and treatment of their teenaged son. It's complicated; the short version is that if I were there I could help care for the kid's grandmother and take some daily/weekly grind off the kid's parents that way. But there would be no place for me to stay once I get there, save a hotel, which is a safety/money issue. 

I'm sorry you can't help your family, @Jeeves.

9 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

Lately I've taken all politics to twitter & cleaned up my FB feed by unfollowing nearly everything except my actual friends. My feed is clean and I'm seeing posts & pics I think I'd have missed before.  Today I'm going to get rid of groups that no longer interest me.  Recently I cleaned up my e-mail so that I only see what is current. I should have been this efficient in my working days!

 

@BetyBee, that's a good way to reduce stress and give yourself more time to spend on the things that matter to you. 

I've been blocking the original poster for shared posts and giving people 30 day time-outs on Facebook, plus I don't go on it on the weekends when it's the busiest. 

I hope everyone is safe and has a happy hump day!

[Nysha]

Sorry to double post, but I'm reading the local news and it's not good. Our area had 19 new cases over the weekend, most of them people under 40. And one of the local churches has decided this week is a good time for a week-long tent revival starting today. They're planning on an extra 500 people from all around the United States coming for the revival.

After getting a ton of negative feedback the church put out a statement that it is a prayer revival with rotating groups of people praying 24/7 for an end to abortion, gay marriage, legalized pot and a national return to God. They also claim that they will be social distancing and following the county's guidelines. I call BS on this b/c they posted pictures of their Sunday service which was in the tent with all the chairs and people bunched together in the middle. 

This pandemic is never going to be over at this rate.

[emma675]

My county has had its 12th straight day of record number cases, so things are getting worse here. Our idiot governor opened things up way too soon and now we're paying the price. I don't know how baseball is even attempting to start their season so soon knowing half of the states in the south that they play in are seeing record increases. It's insane. That vaccine can't come soon enough. 

PikaScrewChu, hugs. You're being strong and doing everything right, it's just a long, hard processs. Especially when you cared for and trusted the person who hurt you. 

[Brookside]

44 minutes ago, Nysha said:

 

After getting a ton of negative feedback the church put out a statement that it is a prayer revival with rotating groups of people praying 24/7 for an end to abortion, gay marriage, legalized pot and a national return to God. 

Well that makes everything okay then.

[Oldernowiser]

56 minutes ago, Nysha said:

After getting a ton of negative feedback the church put out a statement that it is a prayer revival with rotating groups of people praying 24/7 for an end to abortion, gay marriage, legalized pot and a national return to God. They also claim that they will be social distancing and following the county's guidelines. I call BS on this b/c they posted pictures of their Sunday service which was in the tent with all the chairs and people bunched together in the middle. 

Nothing like a DIY rapture. 🙄

(What’s their bitch with pot? I take it they’re not praying 24/7 for an end to Budweiser? And pot has some medical uses.)

[SunnyBeBe]

That's pretty funny for them to be okay with covid, but, bothered by marijuana. Man........I've been praying for patience this week.  I had multiple emails and texts from many friends yesterday.  All of them about the frustration we share with those who refuse to wear masks and refuse to socially distance.  I'm now thinking that it's not really that the mask bother most of them or that they have a medical condition that prevents it,  bECAUSE, these same people refuse to socially distance.  In stores with arrows on the floor of the isles, they REFUSE to follow them. They approach you up close on purpose.  To me, it's a sign of aggression. 

 I have lost a lot of respect for some people since this past weekend, including family members.  Huge disappointment and loss of respect.  I don't think they can earn it back.  It's really sad.

  I'm going to volunteer to be on a task force or something that involves helping with this thing.  I'm actually mad as hell, so, that will help propel me forward with it.  lol

On Sundays, I set up my parent's Ipad so they can watch their fundie church service live.  This past Sunday, I happened to catch those on the first two rows.  Plus, the piano player, preacher and guitar player. NONE of them wore masks. They sang several songs.  We have been told that only a couple of people who do attend do wear them.  It's a big church, so, at least 100 people there. THIS Sunday, during the service, you could hear an INFANT crying.  You could tell it was a very young baby. We suspect it is the child of a woman who had a baby a few weeks ago.  I lost all respect for anyone involved with that organization. I can't really call it a church anymore, since, apparently, they have zero compassion for an innocent unmasked baby.  Just disgusting. 

[PikaScrewChu]

3 hours ago, Nysha said:

Sorry to double post, but I'm reading the local news and it's not good. Our area had 19 new cases over the weekend, most of them people under 40. And one of the local churches has decided this week is a good time for a week-long tent revival starting today. They're planning on an extra 500 people from all around the United States coming for the revival.

After getting a ton of negative feedback the church put out a statement that it is a prayer revival with rotating groups of people praying 24/7 for an end to abortion, gay marriage, legalized pot and a national return to God. They also claim that they will be social distancing and following the county's guidelines. I call BS on this b/c they posted pictures of their Sunday service which was in the tent with all the chairs and people bunched together in the middle. 

This pandemic is never going to be over at this rate.

They're seeing a rise in cases for people in their 20s. I've been hearing stories of organized pub crawls (???? During a pandemic, really???) and large numbers of bars and pubs having to close temporarily and test their entire staff.  

That's going to fix the economy. 100%. Having to shut down your pub/bar for extended periods of time to do a deep clean because Patient Zero was out partying. 

Now we know that it is less lethal for that age group but we don't know the long term effects. Austin Matthews caught it allegedly while partying in Arizona. He's only a few years into his pro career. What happens if he ends up with permanent lung damage? That's likely the end of his hockey career. More players are quietly opposing the move to start the playoffs. I'm doubtful the NBA will restart and signing the exclusive deal with Disney to play all games in Florida was a boneheaded move. 

Thank you everyone. I will go through and like all the posts. I can't quote everyone but I really appreciate it. Yoga is one of the few times my head and heart slow down. Problem is my neighbors are having marital issues and start screaming at each other randomly. Obviously very relaxing. I think it is going to take COVID being over to fully start the healing process but I have all the time in the world to heal and grow. There's no point in rushing. 

[Oldernowiser]

Group hug...

 

[crazy8s]

as @SunnyBeBe said I too have lost respect for some friends and relatives during this pandemic.

It helps to remember we can't change anyone else's behavior and must make the best choices we can to keep ourselves and families safe.

Mr Crazy8s belongs to a running group and many have joined some fb group "to protect their liberties"  the leader of the running group is quite vocal on this. he kept posting running group plans on the group site which finally stopped when the adult children of some of the runners joined the group and made posts begging their parents not to take such a foolish risk.

covid just does not care about your perceived liberties.  now there is a "secret running group" still meeting every week. it is 4 people. every one of the other 50 or so folks said no thanks

Edited June 24, 2020 by crazy8s
i just can't spell sometimes haha

[SunnyBeBe]

I agree that I may not be able to change other people's behavior, but, I think that it's possible to make it very uncomfortable for them to endanger the public.  Hurting the wallet might be an option. I've volunteered with the Governor's office to help with a task force or work in another capacity, perhaps taking legal action against violators. Of course, that's a last resort, but, I am entertaining a legal action myself personally.  I'm still researching it.  

It's ironic that our civilization may go out not due to global warming, nuclear war, or famine, but, ignorance.  

[GeeGolly]

I find it hard to read about folks not following the covid safety guidelines. At least before you could assume that the majority of folks were staying home more and following similar personal hygiene routines, so the grocery stores and pharmacies felt safer.

Many of my friends have professional jobs where they come in contact with vulnerable folks. Most of them take the guidelines very seriously. A handful of them take precautions in the workplace and stores, but then get together with different folks socially, rarely following guidelines. That would be no big deal if the contagious period of covid was during the onset of symptoms. But its not.

Scary times if you ask me.

[crazy8s]

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Scary times if you ask me.

It is a bit mind boggling - people have somehow started to convince themselves they are immune or safe from covid.  but it is faulty logic. the we are young, or we are upper middle class or we are white etc does not matter

had college campuses and schools stayed open, we would have seen more illness and deaths in that age group.

all the places that didn't have the option to send everyone home have been the big numbers. elder care. hospitals, prisons, and those who work there, and the grocery stores and other essential workers etc.

as a society, we have sadly become complacent and careless thinking covid will happen to someone else. sadly, many I know believe those lives are somehow worth less and are expendable.  there is where i lose all respect

 

Edited June 25, 2020 by crazy8s

[dargosmydaddy]

Want another scary story?

I'm in a state with pretty strict regulations. We were hit hard, but slowly getting better. I'm a teacher. Everyone in my district was given appointments to go back to our classrooms a few weeks back to pack up, grab anything we needed, etc. We were only allowed to be there for half an hour, not supposed to interact with other teachers, had to wear mask and gloves even when we were alone inside our room, etc., etc. Pretty hardcore guidelines, all of which I followed. Janitors and administrators I saw while there were not following the same guidelines (i.e. no masks).

A week later was our school's "drive by" graduation ceremony. Teachers were invited but not required to attend. In the invitation, it mentioned masks were required. I ended up not going for a variety of reasons (mainly convenience and traffic related). Got to view the online photo album a few days later... no one was wearing masks!!! Administrators were leaning into cars to take pictures with grads-- no masks! Pictures of administrators and faculty with arms around each other, cheek to cheek, grinning for the cameras-- no masks!

Needless to say, I'm glad I didn't go! I'm dreading September and whatever guidelines that might bring which we are apparently free to disregard if we want to... On the one hand I can't imagine spending over eight hours a day wearing and teaching in a mask. On the other, spending all day in a poorly ventilated classroom with others, all or most presumably maskless, is also pretty scary! No mention yet of smaller class sizes, split schedules, or what might be required of us... should be an interesting summer break.

[GeeGolly]

3 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

It is a bit mind boggling - people have somehow started to convince themselves they are immune or safe from covid.  but it is faulty logic. the we are young, or we are upper middle class or we are white etc does not matter

had college campuses and schools stayed open, we would have seen more illness and deaths in that age group.

all the places that didn't have the option to send everyone home have been the big numbers. elder care. hospitals, prisons, etc.

as a society, we have sadly become complacent and careless thinking covid will happen to someone else. sadly, many I know believe those lives are somehow worth less and are expendable.  there is where i lose all respect

 

A lot of ageism and ableism going on. I, too, lose all kinds of respect of the country at large and of some folks who I love.

[PikaScrewChu]

32 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I find it hard to read about folks not following the covid safety guidelines. At least before you could assume that the majority of folks were staying home more and following similar personal hygiene routines, so the grocery stores and pharmacies felt safer.

Many of my friends have professional jobs where they come in contact with vulnerable folks. Most of them take the guidelines very seriously. A handful of them take precautions in the workplace and stores, but then get together with different folks socially, rarely following guidelines. That would be no big deal if the contagious period of covid was during the onset of symptoms. But its not.

Scary times if you ask me.

I'm increasingly annoyed by the nurses and physicians my age. "I caught it, it wasn't so bad!" And spreading those anecdotes around to the general public. The older ones seem to be more cautious and less cocky.  

Yeah well, Prince Charles still hasn't regained the ability to smell and taste things. I get he's in his 70s so whatever. He's old. But we don't know if that is permanent. Who wants that sort of thing for the next 50-60 years of their lives? My great-granddad lost his sense of smell and taste when he was a teen. He lived with that for over 60 years.

Yes the goal was to not overwhelm the hospitals and ICUs but some states are coming dangerously close. Nevermind the medical bills from an extended hospital stay.

I'm still trying to figure out the balance myself. This is so tricky. I find the people I come into contact with generally take this seriously but I'm wary of a lot of people my age. I want to scream "IT SUCKS BUT YOU CAN GO ONE SUMMER WITHOUT HITTING UP THE CLUB. THEY WENT SEVERAL SUMMERS WITHOUT HITTING UP THE CLUB DURING WORLD WAR II."

[fonfereksglen]

21 minutes ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I'm increasingly annoyed by the nurses and physicians my age. "I caught it, it wasn't so bad!" And spreading those anecdotes around to the general public. The older ones seem to be more cautious and less cocky.  

Yeah well, Prince Charles still hasn't regained the ability to smell and taste things. I get he's in his 70s so whatever. He's old. But we don't know if that is permanent. Who wants that sort of thing for the next 50-60 years of their lives? My great-granddad lost his sense of smell and taste when he was a teen. He lived with that for over 60 years.

Yes the goal was to not overwhelm the hospitals and ICUs but some states are coming dangerously close. Nevermind the medical bills from an extended hospital stay.

I'm still trying to figure out the balance myself. This is so tricky. I find the people I come into contact with generally take this seriously but I'm wary of a lot of people my age. I want to scream "IT SUCKS BUT YOU CAN GO ONE SUMMER WITHOUT HITTING UP THE CLUB. THEY WENT SEVERAL SUMMERS WITHOUT HITTING UP THE CLUB DURING WORLD WAR II."

A very sweet young couple moved into the house next door in early March.  She works in one of the hospital systems in town and is pregnant.  Within the last few weeks they have hosted a couple of small get togethers in their new home.  I guess working outside the home makes them immune?  Or they just decided it was ok.  I assume she has been tested, but being tested doesn't grant immunity.

What is even worse is the 80 yo woman across the street pulled the uncut umbilical cord and dragged her son and his wife up from Illinois for both the Mother's Day and Memorial Day weekends. Illinois was then under strict rules.  She also has frequent visitors, including little ones, and comes and goes at will. Yet the gentle elderly man who lives next door in the other direction didn't host his family for their picnic on Father's Day.  Sort of unfair, but his is doing the right thing.  

Edited June 24, 2020 by fonfereksglen

[SunnyBeBe]

I'm watching our Governor's speech now. He's ordering required masks for entire state. I'm glad. Now, enforcement. 

We are putting a pause on Phase 2 restrictions.  Today was the second highest day of reported cases in our state. Head of Nursing Association is BEGGING now for compliance. And the head of Atrium Health (non profit healthcare system in NC) Also, begging for compliance. 

[DangerousMinds]

43 minutes ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I'm increasingly annoyed by the nurses and physicians my age. "I caught it, it wasn't so bad!" And spreading those anecdotes around to the general public. The older ones seem to be more cautious and less cocky.  

Yeah well, Prince Charles still hasn't regained the ability to smell and taste things. I get he's in his 70s so whatever. He's old. But we don't know if that is permanent. Who wants that sort of thing for the next 50-60 years of their lives? My great-granddad lost his sense of smell and taste when he was a teen. He lived with that for over 60 years.

Yes the goal was to not overwhelm the hospitals and ICUs but some states are coming dangerously close. Nevermind the medical bills from an extended hospital stay.

I'm still trying to figure out the balance myself. This is so tricky. I find the people I come into contact with generally take this seriously but I'm wary of a lot of people my age. I want to scream "IT SUCKS BUT YOU CAN GO ONE SUMMER WITHOUT HITTING UP THE CLUB. THEY WENT SEVERAL SUMMERS WITHOUT HITTING UP THE CLUB DURING WORLD WAR II."

There are many, including  younger people, who survive the virus but have long term health issues, like permanently damaged lungs. Not worth taking that chance!

[Jeeves]

I'm also concerned about - in some cases I'm rather freaked out by - people who are jumping the gun to go back to life as we knew it. I'm heartily sick of this pandemic, and would LOVE to resume the carefree life I lived before COVID-19 arrived. But. I know better. And yes, adulting is often hard. 

I got some good news today, not long after I posted my comments upthread. The kid who's been diagnosed with cancer had two scans - and they look clear. Yowza! The docs are going to have him do the last two of the five chemo sessions (he's had three), but it looks like he won't need radiation. I don't know all the details, nor do I need to. I'm just so happy to have that particular bit of good news. That 17 year old's biggest worry should be how his high school class of 2020 got screwed over by a virus, not whether he's going to live or die. 

Thanks to everyone for the kind words.

Edited June 24, 2020 by Jeeves

[SunnyBeBe]

Jeeves, that’s excellent news! Cancer is so cruel! Thank goodness it’s losing for a change!

[Lisa418722]

@Jeeves it's so nice to read some good news.  The anniversary of my dad's death from cancer is tomorrow, so this made me tear up in a good way  

I've been returning to the office three days a week. I don't wear a mask in my office, but I do when I'm anywhere else in the office.  A few coworkers and I have been talking that the people in their 40's, 50's and 60's have returned but the 20's and 30's haven't.  My 30-something year old closest coworker (we do the same job for the same person) hasn't returned even though everyone was supposed to return 3 days a week last week.  She loves working from home and doesn't think she should ever return.  But she doesn't think about all the work other people have to do to send her work so she can work from home.  I can say I'm over trying to keep her happy.  

I am ready to a get to a new normal but it terrifies me.  I haven't eaten out since March.  I cut my hair myself and did my own toes for sandal season.  I'm just not ready to put my health on the line for a "normal" life.  

[emma675]

Jeeves, that's great news! A 17 year old (hell, any age) should not have to worry about cancer. It's a horrible disease. 

[Scarlett45]

Today was such a shit show day at work I bit the bullet and called to have my internet updated. I will pay more money I just can’t do this any more. And I will have more months at home so it will be worth it. 

[Zella]

Sorry for everybody going through a hard time. I wanted to bitch slap some people here for complaining to the county judge about closing down county offices, including the library where I work part-time. Our rates are still skyrocketing, with no end in sight here. But I guess some assholes wanting to use the internet trumps that. 🙄 I hope he's not dumb enough to cave.

@Jeeves, it's good to see you back--and I'm so glad your relative got some good news!

@PikaScrewChu I am sorry you're going through a hard time after the break-up, but like everyone else said, I'm so glad you were able to break things off before you got married or had children with him. Sounds like breaking off all contact was a good move. 

E-hugs for everybody! 

 

[Nysha]

I wish the media would run stories on a constant loop about the under 40s having chronic health issues after catching the virus and the grief of pastors about aiding in the deaths of their congregation or adults who gave the virus to their elderly parents and grandparents all because they insisted on ignoring the guidelines.

Edited June 25, 2020 by Nysha

[PikaScrewChu]

4 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

There are many, including  younger people, who survive the virus but have long term health issues, like permanently damaged lungs. Not worth taking that chance!

I'm thinking about the public health ramifications after this. We as a population weren't exactly the pinnacles of health prior to the pandemic. There's a variety of reasons for that. We don't know what is/isn't permanent. If they can't find a viable treatment or vaccine soon-ish, this could easily turn into the next polio for the under 40 crowd. Will you suffer lingering effects? Will you not? Will the side effects resurface in late adulthood? No one knows. But just remember no universal health care for you if you do have lingering side effects!

I do struggle with the mental health ramifications. I think that is a very valuable thing to add to the discussion. But there are some things you can do without, reduce the spread, and still have stable mental health. I think that's what is missing from the equation when people say about mental health. The gym I get for instance (although the responsible gyms are a constant reminder there is still a pandemic). The club? Oh hell naw. 

4 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I'm also concerned about - in some cases I'm rather freaked out by - people who are jumping the gun to go back to life as we knew it. I'm heartily sick of this pandemic, and would LOVE to resume the carefree life I lived before COVID-19 arrived. But. I know better. And yes, adulting is often hard. 

I got some good news today, not long after I posted my comments upthread. The kid who's been diagnosed with cancer had two scans - and they look clear. Yowza! The docs are going to have him do the last two of the five chemo sessions (he's had three), but it looks like he won't need radiation. I don't know all the details, nor do I need to. I'm just so happy to have that particular bit of good news. That 17 year old's biggest worry should be how his high school class of 2020 got screwed over by a virus, not whether he's going to live or die. 

Thanks to everyone for the kind words.

This is amazing news!!!

[galaxychaser]

I still miss a friend of mine who died of cancer at 18. He was the nicest kid in school.

[magpye29]

My MIL told me today that my future ex-husband thinks the whole Covid thing is a hoax.

On the health front, I've started taking vitamin D so looking forward to seeing if that helps me feel better.  I think I mentioned that I persuaded my doctor to take me off metformin because it was making me vomit every time I took it?  I mean, to the point where just thinking about taking it made the gorge rise.  Well, turns out there was a recall on it on the Naval Station, which I only found out about when I called the pharmacy refill line to get insulin and stuff.  I knew there was something wrong, because I'd been taking it for years with no issues, but I thought I had simply developed an allergy to it.

@PikaScrewChu, I feel your pain.  My future ex was gaslighting me, I think, trying to convince me I was crazy and he and my daughter (who was a teenager at the time) threatened to take me to the psych ward at the army hospital, but I called my aunt (who is now my landlady) and she gave them holy hell.  I had wanted to get away from them because they were badgering me about stuff, and I said I was going to go out the window because they were blocking the stairs, so my husband got the ASININE idea that I was going to throw myself off the roof below my second story window and was going to have me put on suicide watch for my mental problems.  He still plays little mind games on me, like telling me my new glasses made me look a little cross-eyed, or saying that it doesn't make sense for me to be getting my masters in education at my age (I just turned 60 last week), even though I've explained to him that switching jobs from parapro to teacher will more than double my salary.  He says, "Well, if that's what you tell yourself..."  All he has to do is check the school website and he'd see that I'm not pulling this stuff out of thin air, but he prefers to say stuff like, "Don't be in a rush to do something with your life" in a sarcastic tone.  It makes me feel angry and defiant, and I really need to lose the need to prove to him that I'm not a waste of human flesh.  And to have stayed faithful to him through numerous deployments, military operations and training, and unaccompanied tours to Korea, only to find out he was cheating on me really hurt and angered me.

Whew, got that off my chest!

[Oldernowiser]

Golly, Magpye29, can’t imagine why you would want to divorce such a prize...he sounds like a peach. 😱

Ignore him, best you can. At least you probably won’t have to deal with feeling ambivalence about the divorce...that’s 200 lbs of dead weight dragging you down that you can soon be free of, I hope.

So sorry about the Metformin nightmare! Hope you’re feeling much better soon!

[GeeGolly]

What an amazing group of strong, thoughtful and independent folks in this thread. You are all incredible. 

[Scarlett45]

It might just be a matter of time for my Mr Norris- I know hes 20, but the last few days he’s been moving less and less. I placed him on a pillow near the food and water, kind of where he’s been hanging out the last month. I’m not sure if he can stand (he was walking yesterday). He’s been visibly aging the last couple of years but it’s gotten faster since Charlie died in March. 

Ive selfishly hoped he would last the year cause 2020 has seen enough you know  he’s still alert when I pet/groom him but he’s not moving. His last vet appointment said he was okay- just old.

 

[crazycatlady58]

Scarlett 45, Hugs.

[SunnyBeBe]

I'm not sure why this scene struck me as inteteresting.  Raleigh, NC has been in the news a lot lately over protests and demands to take down confederate monuments. Last Friday night a group took a couple down themselves at the capital. Police stood down and allowed it. The governor soon ordered the rest to come down. Saturday morning I went down there to see it myself and take photos. They should have been removed long ago.

So, I got a photo of a young lady who took her cat to see the Confederate memorial aftermath with her covid mask on. If your enlarge it you'll see the kitty in the stroller. It just struck me. Contrast it next to the half demolished monument in the foreground. To me, it's an interesting contrast.  I'll keep it forever, as it really depicts so much about the year 2020.

 

Edited June 25, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[Oldernowiser]

49 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Scarlett 45, Hugs.

Yes, lots.

 I am so very sorry, Scarlett. It’s so damned hard to watch them leave. It doesn’t seem like he’s uncomfortable, at least, so if it is his time, being in his own home with you is the best way.

May his journey be easy.

[Suzn]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

It might just be a matter of time for my Mr Norris- I know hes 20, but the last few days he’s been moving less and less. I placed him on a pillow near the food and water, kind of where he’s been hanging out the last month. I’m not sure if he can stand (he was walking yesterday). He’s been visibly aging the last couple of years but it’s gotten faster since Charlie died in March. 

Ive selfishly hoped he would last the year cause 2020 has seen enough you know  he’s still alert when I pet/groom him but he’s not moving. His last vet appointment said he was okay- just old.

 

I know what it's like to watch decline of a beloved pet.  I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.  Just know that you have given him a very good life and he knows you love him.

[emma675]

Sweet Mr. Norris. I hope his journey is peaceful and you're able to keep him at home. It's so damn hard to lose a pet, they are there more often than humans in many cases. 

magpye, ugh, I hope you have little to no contact with your horror show of an ex. Nobody needs that kind of negativity in their lives. 

[MargeGunderson]

Oh, @Scarlett45, I’m so sorry. I wish I had some words of comfort, but having gone through this myself I know that there is little that I can say that helps. Just know that you we are here for you, however you need us. 

Edited June 25, 2020 by MargeGunderson

[Christina87]

Hugs, @Scarlett45! Just know that I understand. It’s horrible to go through these things, but we are with you. ❤️❤️❤️

[Scarlett45]

I had the bright idea to get a straw and put some water down his throat. He seemed receptive to that, but he won’t get up. His head moved and his legs moved but nothing. 
 

I just need to listen to my instincts about what’s best, but I don’t want him so stressed out at the vet in his last minutes nor do I want him to die from dehydration. Ugh this is hard. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

@magpye29 just remember hurting people hurt people. Your ex sounds like a broken person who needs weaker, “lesser” people around to feel adequate.  He’s probably jealous  of your education and is trying to minimize your accomplishment to boost himself up.  He knows you’re getting from under his thumb and he can’t stand it.  I’m no psych professional, but I had an ex like this right down to the head games and Jedi mind-fucking type tricks to make me think I was crazy and unstable.  It was all a ruse to divert attention from his cheating, instability and lack of dependability.

Just know that you’re making positive, useful steps in your life and growing as a person and in ten years, he’ll still be pulling the same old bullshit on someone else.  And I’d personally take a little pleasure in that because sometimes it’s fun to petty.  

[lookeyloo]

18 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I had the bright idea to get a straw and put some water down his throat. He seemed receptive to that, but he won’t get up. His head moved and his legs moved but nothing. 
 

I just need to listen to my instincts about what’s best, but I don’t want him so stressed out at the vet in his last minutes nor do I want him to die from dehydration. Ugh this is hard. 

So sorry, @Scarlett45 - we have been there too many times before.  Always heartbreaking.