Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Ohiopirate02]

56 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I feel like a GENIUS!!!!
I realized why Mr Norris (my cat) was having accidents.

He's trying to cross the house to make it to the low entry litter box rather than use the taller ones in the other side of the house by my bedroom/home office where I am all day. He’s trying to stay by me. 

I just need to order a second low entry box and "show him"(I don't know how well he can see) that it's changed 
I don't want to move them/switch them because I don't think he can see that far and  if he walks across the house and it's tall he may get confused poor guy.

 

This is so simple and you all told me but it dawned on me why he’s always so far away from the litter box he’s trying to use!

If I may ask, which litter box.  I have been trying to find a low entry box for my senior kitty, and haven't been able to find one at a decent price. 

[SunnyBeBe]

4 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

@SunnyBeBe, no idea how I got the microabraisons. I wear contacts so it could have been them, but the weird thing is it didn’t happen on the day I put the new contacts in (I have monthly disposables),it happened in the middle of the month. I actually hadn’t happen twice, but the first time was pretty mild and I assumed that it was allergies bothering my eyes since it was spring. I haven’t had any other problems with my contacts or my eyes since. It was weird, scary, and so so painful. My eyes hurt 24/7 and there was basically nothing the ophthalmologist could do for the pain. I cried a lot and listened to podcasts. How did you get yours? I’ve never met anyone else who had them!

Okay. Maybe,  you have something different than me.   I will just say that my corneal abrasions came from a condition known as Salzmann's nodules. My doctor used to call them corneal adhesions.  The exact cause is unknown, however, it's often found in those with severe dry eye, contact wearers or as a post surgery result. I had it for many years, with no symptoms, though, it was diagnosed by an observant doctor.   It took a long time before I had severe episodes, pain, redness, etc. for which I had a surgery and prescription meds for a year. I still use daily treatment.  I would highly recommend getting a second opinion from a Cornea specialist if it's not completely healed. It's difficult to treat.  I have seen three experts and am currently with Duke.  I wish I had addressed it long before I started having severe episodes. When the doctors could do no more and I was still in daily pain, I sought out acupuncture and it helped me tremendously.  It's the kind of thing that I give thanks everyday when I'm not in pain.  

[PikaScrewChu]

6 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I got an email from Globus Tours for some really great European deals for next year. But I’m going to hold off even though they are waiving the single supplement! Patience is a virtue. 

Holy crap. Thanks for the heads up. I normally travel alone and have never used a tour company solely because I was able to build the same experience for a bit cheaper. Waiving the singles supplement would be what would grab me. I know when my contract is up and who knows if it'll be renewed. 

I know the international trips that the dance companies I was affiliated with are still "a go" for October/November. I'm doubtful international travel will be feasible at that time, let alone taking workshops and doing performances.

It has been interesting discussing it within the community. So many master teachers are offering classes and workshops through Zoom or other platforms that normally would have been inaccessible and/or cost a lot of money. The downside is you have a hard time evaluating over Zoom and you don't make the same connections with people. I mean, paying €15 a week for a class with a master instructor in Italy compared to either waiting for a studio to sponsor them for a workshop close by or flying out to do a workshop and paying $150-$250 for the workshop alone? Nevermind if it isn't within reasonable driving distance and you have to pay for all those extras. 

This is definitely going to reform some aspects of our lives. I think this one is for the better because these things are inaccessible for most and creates a huge divide.

[sixlets]

@doodlebug-I wonder if your mom was from the same area I grew up in.  We had coal mines all around us, and many of the older generations in our families and town were miners.  

Mr. Six's company switched insurance companies beginning 6/1, and we went from United HealthCare to Carefirst BC.  In the beginning, I was good with the decision.  That changed yesterday when I found out my most important prescription requires prior auth.  It's not a life-saving drug, but it's a quality-of-life drug.  Without it, I will suffering in so much pain, and I can't even imagine going through that right now.  I hopefully did everything I need to do to get the ball rolling this morning, so I'm hoping to hear something tomorrow.  I'm scared something will go wrong, and I won't have access to it.  I've been on it for the past 10 years off and on, and it's one of the few that actually give me some pain relief.  Just so scared...

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

If I may ask, which litter box.  I have been trying to find a low entry box for my senior kitty, and haven't been able to find one at a decent price. 

https://www.chewy.com/lucky-champ-cat-litter-pan/dp/155016

[MargeGunderson]

@Ohiopirate02, we used the Lucky Champ box too, and my elderly girls really liked it. You can also get it on Amazon. That box plus puppy pads in front of the box made all the difference for my arthritic cat. 

[Mindthinkr]

6 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

@Ohiopirate02, we used the Lucky Champ box too, and my elderly girls really liked it. You can also get it on Amazon. That box plus puppy pads in front of the box made all the difference for my arthritic cat. 

I consider the puppy pads an absolute must. My elderly cats mean well, but sometimes...it makes clean up a breeze. 

[doodlebug]

11 hours ago, sixlets said:

@doodlebug-I wonder if your mom was from the same area I grew up in.  We had coal mines all around us, and many of the older generations in our families and town were miners.  

 

My mom was born in the thriving metropolis of Blairsville, PA and grew up in and around there.  She usually told people she was from Indiana, PA since that was the biggest town around and some people had actually heard of it.  Other local hotspots are Homer City, Salt Lick and Shelocta.

Edited June 18, 2020 by doodlebug

[lookeyloo]

We were booked into a small hotel in Nuremberg a couple years ago during the heat wave.  Hotel advertised as air conditioned.  What they neglected to say is that the lobby was the only place with air conditioning.  We ended up in a big historic hotel across the street, paid for with our Marriott Points. All air conditioned.

We used to have cats and litter boxes.  No litter was great.  I used to put towels all around the boxes to collect it.  All the cats became expert at flinging themselves outside the box when they were done, to avoid the towels or anything else I tried.  I wonder if they would have liked puppy pads better.

[Ohiopirate02]

Thanks for all the suggestions about the litter box and puppy pads.  

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

My mom was born in the thriving metropolis of Blairsville, PA and grew up in and around there.  She usually told people she was from Indiana, PA since that was the biggest town around and some people had actually heard of it.  Other local hotspots are Homer City, Salt Lick and Shelocta.

All of my grandparents are from PA and 3 out of the 4 were all born in Cambria County.  My mom's parents were from Lilly and also moved to Cleveland after the war.  I have often wondered why they bypassed Pittsburgh when deciding to move to the city.  A few of their siblings followed as well.  Looking at the map of western PA, I have apparently driven through Blairsville a few times over the years going from Mentor to Lilly.  

[Barb23]

14 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I feel like a GENIUS!!!!
I realized why Mr Norris (my cat) was having accidents.

He's trying to cross the house to make it to the low entry litter box rather than use the taller ones on the other side of the house by my bedroom/home office where I am all day. He’s trying to stay by me. 

I just need to order a second low entry box and "show him"(I don't know how well he can see) that it's changed 
I don't want to move them/switch them because I don't think he can see that far and  if he walks across the house and it's tall he may get confused poor guy.

 

This is so simple and you all told me but it dawned on me why he’s always so far away from the litter box he’s trying to use!

The more I read about  Mr. Norris, the more I realize him & I have a lot in common as we age. 😺👵🚽

(Love hearing stories about him.)

 

[Scarlett45]

7 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

The more I read about  Mr. Norris, the more I realize him & I have a lot in common as we age. 😺👵🚽

(Love hearing stories about him.)

 

My mom says she and Mr Norris have a lot in common and getting old isn’t for sissies. 
 

It’s weird but he reminds me of my grandfather (he died at 89), he’s just so chill and hanging on, sleeping, doing his thing. 
 

You’re so sweet. 

[EVS]

Can anyone recommend a good quality reusable face mask?  It’s for my elderly parents. I see so many ads for masks these days, but I have no idea which ones are “best”. They said they don’t mind if the mask is more expensive, they just want a good quality. TIA

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, EVS said:

Can anyone recommend a good quality reusable face mask?  It’s for my elderly parents. I see so many ads for masks these days, but I have no idea which ones are “best”. They said they don’t mind if the mask is more expensive, they just want a good quality. TIA

EnchantedAlexandra on Etsy makes very nice masks. But they are in feminine prints, not sure if your Dad cares about that. 

[EVS]

22 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

EnchantedAlexandra on Etsy makes very nice masks. But they are in feminine prints, not sure if your Dad cares about that. 

I’m not sure. I’ll ask him. Thank you!

[Girl in a Cardigan]

2 hours ago, EVS said:

Can anyone recommend a good quality reusable face mask?  It’s for my elderly parents. I see so many ads for masks these days, but I have no idea which ones are “best”. They said they don’t mind if the mask is more expensive, they just want a good quality. TIA

The two I've bought the most are Vida (https://shopvida.com/products/protective-mask) and DeBrief Me (https://debriefme.com/collections/all/products/adults-x95?variant=14626365833258).

I actually had a DeBrief Me mask from a couple years ago when California was on fire, but I recently bought another one and it shipped fast. They only seem to have one pattern available right now, but I keep checking back to see if the other colors come back in stock.

The ones from Vida that come from China take a little while longer, but have stood up to multiple washings as well. I like masks with ear loops instead of ties, so I haven't tried their made in California masks.

All have pockets for filters, which will also help stop the spread.

[EVS]

1 hour ago, Girl in a Cardigan said:

The two I've bought the most are Vida (https://shopvida.com/products/protective-mask) and DeBrief Me (https://debriefme.com/collections/all/products/adults-x95?variant=14626365833258).

I actually had a DeBrief Me mask from a couple years ago when California was on fire, but I recently bought another one and it shipped fast. They only seem to have one pattern available right now, but I keep checking back to see if the other colors come back in stock.

The ones from Vida that come from China take a little while longer, but have stood up to multiple washings as well. I like masks with ear loops instead of ties, so I haven't tried their made in California masks.

All have pockets for filters, which will also help stop the spread.

I’ll show these to my parents also. Thank you!

[jcbrown]

23 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I feel like a GENIUS!!!!
I realized why Mr Norris (my cat) was having accidents.

He's trying to cross the house to make it to the low entry litter box rather than use the taller ones on the other side of the house by my bedroom/home office where I am all day. He’s trying to stay by me. 

I just need to order a second low entry box and "show him"(I don't know how well he can see) that it's changed 

You are a genius! Is his blood pressure okay? I ask because Hillary had trouble seeing due to blood pressure issues but when we were able to get that under control (via a veterinary ophthalmologist, believe it or not), she had a new lease on life for months. She still wanted to maintain her puppy pad arrangement. No using the downstairs litterboxes with the riff raff for her.

20 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I consider the puppy pads an absolute must. My elderly cats mean well, but sometimes...it makes clean up a breeze. 

I bought some washable ones on Amazon, since I did not feel right about generating so much waste. Washed a load every couple of days or more and reused.

[Nysha]

Yay, I am Covid-free! Although I don't normally work on Fridays, I'm going in tomorrow to wrap up this year's purchasing and grant reports. Everything has to be ordered and/or accounted for by June 25, since the end of the fiscal year is June 30. We were given permission to move $1,100 from tutor salaries to supplies, since there wasn't enough online tutoring to keep them. 

[jcbrown]

So we had an adventure today. We were both due for shingles shots (my second, his first) so we booked a joint appointment to minimize our exposure to cooties outside our household. 

Observations from Being Outside:

Nearly everyone we saw was masked, including most of the bicyclists.

Earrings, plus mask, plus the lanyard for my sunglasses is a whole lot of stuff going on next to each other and I am still getting used to that.

They ask you questions, ask you to sanitize your hands, and take your temperature before they let you inside the building at the doctor’s office.

You need to wait 20 minutes after your injection but you’re not allowed to wait in the lobby so we waited in our car.

We went to Los Altos to pick up lunch after as a reward for getting Shingles shots. Los Altos has shut down Main Street and some side streets for restaurants/pedestrians. All the restaurants I could see with outdoor tables had a least a few of them filled.

We got yummy curbside take-out as a reward for ourselves and brought it home (jalapeno balls; pizza with mozzarella, jalapenos, Hobbs’ bacon, and honey; and craft beers).

This was the most activity we’ve had outside in one day since we went into stay-at-home mode 99 days ago.

So interesting that the most seemingly mundane errands now feel like a Big Deal.

[Scarlett45]

@jcbrown yes I take him for his checkups he’s fine. Just really old (20) and stuff is breaking down. 

[jcbrown]

9 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

@jcbrown yes I take him for his checkups he’s fine. Just really old (20) and stuff is breaking down. 

I'm sure you take great care of him (I mena, he's 20!), just wanted to offer Hillary's experience in case it was useful. My regular vet couldn't get a valid blood pressure reading so the specialist was really helpful for us.

[GeeGolly]

I bought these. They're very similar to the non-surgical disposal ones. 

https://caraasport.com/products/mask-pack?variant=32126448238672

[Scarlett45]

30 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

I'm sure you take great care of him (I mena, he's 20!), just wanted to offer Hillary's experience in case it was useful. My regular vet couldn't get a valid blood pressure reading so the specialist was really helpful for us.

Oh I know you were just trying to help me. I promise no offense taken. We all want our furry babies to be comfortable and well. 

[galaxychaser]

My eyes my eyes! Pass the brain bleach please. Now I know what my 75+ year old neighbor goes on the roof for. To sunbathe naked!!! 
 

🤮🤮🤮🤮

[Jynnan tonnix]

So. my daughter still seems to be maintaining an iffy grip on reality with her being convinced she is dying. 

She has an appointment with the pulmonologist scheduled for July 15, but in the meantime the nurse practitioner at her regular doctor's office set her up with a bunch of tests. 

For anyone who missed my previous posts on the matter, she has a slight cough which has been hanging on for a few weeks, so went in for a COVID-19 test, which was negative, so she immediately went to the next worst options, but her chest X-ray also showed no irregularities, so she settled on COPD as the only possible diagnosis, but all she apparently knows about it is that it is incurable, as I found out from my son-in-law while babysitting today, she has not looked into the life-expectancy for COPD diagnosis out of fear, so still thinks it's something that will mow her down more or less immediately. This is a girl with a master's degree in library sciences who lives for research.

Anyway, she had a breathing test, full blood panel and CAT scan today. Lung function is normal, blood work is normal, and so far, CAT scan looks clear, though they will get back to her with full findings tomorrow. But since they tell her they don't know what is causing her symptoms, she interprets that as, basically, an unknown, but nevertheless fatal malady.

She's been prescribed some Xanax, which she finally did agree to take, and though she says it has kept her from completely hitting rock bottom emotionally (she has been practically catatonic with fear for the past week or two), it really hasn't helped with her anxiety. According to my son-in-law, she's back to merely lashing out at him for everything he tries to do, similarly to the way she acted three or four weeks ago, which is actually better than the next-to non responsive attitude she's had since. He's been so patient with her, but it's been difficult, and my granddaughter is beginning to act out from the lack of attention she gets from her mom. I've been babysitting a couple of days a week, and hopefully they will come move in with us for a little bit, as they can both work from home, so it shouldn't be an issue. She does seem to do better over here.

Still, she is really frustrated over what she perceives as no-one taking her concerns seriously, when she says that she is the only one who can truly feel what her symptoms are, and to her, the shortness of breath feels as though it is obviously very, very serious.

I told her, today, after all the tests she had done, that as long as everything was looking positive so far, she had to actually face the fact that her symptoms might stem from anxiety, and that there was nothing really wrong with her, but her answer was that I needed to face the fact that maybe there really WAS something wrong. So here we are.

Sorry for the novel, but I'm getting really scared that she is on her way to really losing her grip on reality.

[Marshmallow Mollie]

Soooooo five years ago I went to my dr and said something was terribly wrong and I didn’t know what. I was a pitiful lump. She ordered a lot of tests, and she also prescribed me an anti-depressant and set me up with a therapist. I did end up having multiple health issues identified from all the screening, but each one was benign, and each specialist said my symptoms were from stress. I did not believe them! I ended up leaving my job to become a stay at home mom and told myself if the symptoms didn’t improve in three months, I was going to insist on seeing a specialist at Duke. Lo and behold, within about three weeks, my symptoms disappeared. It really was stress. I had even heard of how stress can wreak havoc on the body, but I didn’t believe - at all - that was happening to me until there was no other explanation. 

I shared that a few months ago I went to the dr completely convinced I was having a cancer recurrence, only to have my symptoms disappear the minute the dr confirmed I wasn’t. 

I think the major trigger is the abject fear my kids will grow up without a mother. As much as I love my husband, I don’t think he would be a good parent on his own. To allay some of the anxiety, I make sure I have lots of pictures and videos with my kids. I also have a journal for each child that I rarely ever write in, but the mere existence of them helps.

I hope sharing this helps!

[galaxychaser]

Man the toothache is the worst pain I ever had. I can’t even swallow water. 
 

It’s bad when I’m looking forward to the dental appointment!

[emma675]

Jynann, is she open to seeing a mental health professional? This doesn't sound good, esp. if she's neglecting her daughter. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[Nysha]

@Jynnan tonnix, if she's having trouble breathing she's likely not getting optimum oxygen which will exacerbate her stress and paranoia. You probably aren't going to be able to talk her out of her fears and if she thinks it's completely physical, she may not be open to any more psychological intervention than what she's getting with the Xanax. It might be helpful to validate her fears w/o buying into them "I'm so sorry you're going through this, it must be very frightening to have problems breathing and not know why, hopefully the pulmonary doctor will have some answers." If she doesn't feel she has to justify her fears she may relax a bit.

 

[BetyBee]

14 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I bought these. They're very similar to the non-surgical disposal ones. 

https://caraasport.com/products/mask-pack?variant=32126448238672

I bought those too. They give away masks to those in need when you order. (I forget the details) They took a long time to arrive. They're pretty good. I like that they have a nose wire. I'm finding that I'm so picky about my masks. I have small ears and the loops on most masks are too big, despite the fact that I have a big (Duggar-like!) head, lol. Anyway, my favorite masks are the ones I made myself. But these are nice. They have pleats and good coverage at a good price.

We went to Costco yesterday and it was great. Everyone was masked and there was tape and social distancing signs everywhere. The cashiers had big shields and a helper to put your stuff on and to fill your cart. You pull off your own receipt to show at the door and that person is behind a shield as well. I felt pretty safe at our first foray into a store since 3/13! 

ETA: I just wanted to add that I also purchased a Clean Phone sanitizer. It's really nice. I can sanitize my phone, remote control, keys, masks etc. And it also charges my phone. I got it from this site: https://thecleanphone.com/ It's pricey, but it came quickly and I use it constantly. Should be good for flu season as well. 

Edited June 19, 2020 by BetyBee

[Scarlett45]

Today is a rough day for me. 
 

I put myself on the list to volunteer to go back in the office first when we start, I think the change of scenery would be good for me (I would drive into work so no public transit). 
 

Last night I had to deal with my sister, things are fine- no one was hurt and nothing was destroyed but I am resentful that no one bothered to discipline her 30years ago because they were all too lazy or too guilty, and now the responsibly falls on me (I sent my Mom to her room and deescalated the situation). Because they knew better. I was disciplined!!! I am thankful I could come back upstairs to my place and close/lock the door. 
 

Tomorrow I have to go to Costco- I will be going after senior hour so it shouldn’t be crowded. 
 

I do have a therapy appointment on Monday during my lunch time- self care y’all. 

[Scarlett45]

In honor of Juneteenth I would like to share Maya Angelou’s poem, May she Rest In Peace. 
 

Still I Rise

BY MAYA ANGELOU

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

 

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

’Cause I walk like I've got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

 

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I'll rise.

 

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

 

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don't you take it awful hard

’Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

 

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

 

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

 

Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

 

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

[GeeGolly]

Not know your daughter @Jynnan tonnix, its hard to know what's in her head. I can't count the number of clients I had who hoped their symptoms were due to a thyroid disorder or premature menopause, because the thought of having anxiety felt worse.

Whatever is the cause of her symptoms, her symptoms are very real. If the cause of her tight chest is due to anxiety, she may also feel light headed, faint and/or dizzy. She does have 'something'.

From what information you're sharing, the best support you may be able to offer is, "Whatever is going on we'll get figured out. How can I support you in the mean time?" 

 

 

 

Edited June 19, 2020 by GeeGolly

[Scarlett45]

25 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I bought those too. They give away masks to those in need when you order. (I forget the details) They took a long time to arrive. They're pretty good. I like that they have a nose wire. I'm finding that I'm so picky about my masks. I have small ears and the loops on most masks are too big, despite the fact that I have a big (Duggar-like!) head, lol. Anyway, my favorite masks are the ones I made myself. But these are nice. They have pleats and good coverage at a good price.

We went to Costco yesterday and it was great. Everyone was masked and there was tape and social distancing signs everywhere. The cashiers had big shields and a helper to put your stuff on and to fill your cart. You pull off your own receipt to show at the door and that person is behind a shield as well. I felt pretty safe at our first foray into a store since 3/13! 

ETA: I just wanted to add that I also purchased a Clean Phone sanitizer. It's really nice. I can sanitize my phone, remote control, keys, masks etc. And it also charges my phone. I got it from this site: https://thecleanphone.com/ It's pricey, but it came quickly and I use it constantly. Should be good for flu season as well. 

Cool. I often Lysol my keys and wipe my phone down with a Lysol wipe. This is great. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

19 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

In honor of Juneteenth I would like to share Maya Angelou’s poem, May she Rest In Peace. 
 

Still I Rise

BY MAYA ANGELOU

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

 

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

’Cause I walk like I've got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

 

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I'll rise.

 

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

 

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don't you take it awful hard

’Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

 

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

 

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

 

Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

 

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

Thank you for sharing. I know I heard Dr. Angelou read the poem when I was a child. Reading it now, I understand it much differently. 

[emma675]

You're a good egg, Scarlett45. I hope today is a little more peaceful than last night. 

[Scarlett45]

Just now, emma675 said:

You're a good egg, Scarlett45. I hope today is a little more peaceful than last night. 

You’re very sweet to me. Things generally are peaceful. At 32 she’s way more chill than she was ages 12-20years old (lawd puberty, this shit went down 2-3x per week). 
 

But it’s hard!! And it would’ve been way easier if people had gotten her in check when she was little. But oh no. “The baby doesn’t understand!” Ummmmhmmmm. 😒

A big part of my advocacy in my Sib Group is taking to parents of kids that are growing up now. So many want to know what to do to help their typical kids. I tell them “your child will grow! They will get BIGGER. What’s “cute” when they are four is not cute when they are 6ft tall, stronger than you and have no impulse control.”

[SunnyBeBe]

I realize there are a lot of people really hurting right now for all kinds of reasons.  It's difficult to understand the whys in this world. But, I wanted to post this because it's meaningful to me. (Scarlette45, I appreciate your post of the poem above.)

In honor of Juneteenth Day.  (I realize that Brooks is not a black artists, but, I like this song so much and think it has a good message.) 

We Shall Be Free by Garth Brooks

This ain't comin' from no prophet,
Just an ordinary man.
When I close my eyes,
I see the way this world shall be
When we all walk hand in hand.
When the last child cries for a crust of bread,
When the last man dies for just words that he said,
When there's shelter over the poorest head,
We shall be free.
When the last thing we notice is the color of the skin,
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within;
When the skies and the oceans are clean again,
Then we shall be free.
We shall be free, we shall be free.
Stand straight, walk proud,
'Cause we shall be free.
When we're free to love anyone we choose,
When this world's big enough for all different views,
When we all can worship from our own kind of pew,
Then we shall be free.
We shall be free, we shall…

And when money talks for the very last time

And nobody walks a step behind 

When there's only one race and that's mankind, Then, we shall be free.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Thanks for all the words of advice and encouragement. I hope she is feeling a bit better after getting the all clear on her lung function. They are coming over here for the weekend again - it seemed to do her some good to be here last weekend, and now with some reasonably good news from the tests she had (still waiting on cat-scan results), plus the Xanax, hopefully she can manage to calm down enough to think rationally. My mom is still staying with us as well, which is a pretty full house. To be honest, my mom stresses me even more than my daughter does, even though all she ever wants to do is help and offer (unsolicited) advice. Her words to me the other day were, "Now  you know what it feels like to have a child who doesn't want to listen to you". And, while, yes, I admit that I went for way too many years without seeing a doctor because of the fear of what I might find out, I did go after finally having an issue that I couldn't just ignore, and functioned just fine in the meantime. Apples and oranges if you ask me. And I'm still not telling my daughter what she should do (well, other than telling her she really should take the Xanax even though she didn't want to), just trying to offer support and encouragement.

[Scarlett45]

4 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I realize there are a lot of people really hurting right now for all kinds of reasons.  It's difficult to understand the whys in this world. But, I wanted to post this because it's meaningful to me. (Scarlette45, I appreciate your post of the poem above.)

In honor of Juneteenth Day.  (I realize that Brooks is not a black artists, but, I like this song so much and think it has a good message.) 

We Shall Be Free by Garth Brooks

This ain't comin' from no prophet,
Just an ordinary man.
When I close my eyes,
I see the way this world shall be
When we all walk hand in hand.
When the last child cries for a crust of bread,
When the last man dies for just words that he said,
When there's shelter over the poorest head,
We shall be free.
When the last thing we notice is the color of the skin,
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within;
When the skies and the oceans are clean again,
Then we shall be free.
We shall be free, we shall be free.
Stand straight, walk proud,
'Cause we shall be free.
When we're free to love anyone we choose,
When this world's big enough for all different views,
When we all can worship from our own kind of pew,
Then we shall be free.
We shall be free, we shall…

And when money talks for the very last time

And nobody walks a step behind 

When there's only one race and that's mankind, Then, we shall be free.

This is lovely thank you. 

[Jenniferbug]

I went to Target today. I hadn't driven a car or set foot in a store since mid March, and was starting to feel like I really needed to do it or else by the time I would have to go for something, my anxiety would have me in full blown panic attack mode. So I went. Wore a mask the whole time. It was a weird experience. Like, I was doing this totally normal thing by wandering the aisles of the store (I did make a list but it was large), but the shelves were practically empty in some areas of the store and even for a weekday morning the store was pretty empty. About half the people I saw were wearing masks. But i feel a little more confident about wearing a mask and going out when needed now that I've done it once so that's good. 

@Jynnan tonnix, I'll echo that it sounds like your daughter is dealing with severe anxiety. I'm prone to panic attacks that leave me feeling short of breath or like my lungs aren't functioning right. Sometimes chest pain or heart palpitations as well. And these can last for days for me. I'm used to them being by now that I'm not catatonic during them, but if she's not really experienced them before I could see how she would shut down to cope. 

I've been off work for the last month on furlough. Haven't had any issues with panic or severe anxiety, and haven't had a single migraine. I go back to work on Monday, and I'm betting that will all quickly come back into my life. I so wish we could afford for me to stay home and not work, but that won't be an option for many, many years, if ever.  Which is kind of soul crushing to think about. 

[emma675]

Jenniferbug, good luck with going back to work! Do you have to go into the office or can you work from home?

My company was planning to start bringing workers back in phases in two weeks but now that my state has had gigantic increases in cases, that's out the window again. We'll be lucky if we're back in the office by September at this rate. Some days I'm fine with working from home and other days I'm going stir crazy. While walking the dog yesterday, I talked to 5 different neighbors and the mailman. I think a lot of us are desperate for human interaction, lol. 

Jynnan, I thought of something. A few years ago, I had a slight, persistent cough and some weird burning in my upper chest off and on. It turned out to be acid reflux, which was the last thing I ever thought it could be. If they rule out all other problems, that could be one to look into, as well. I never had crippling anxiety over it, but it did cause me some mild anxiety before it was diagnosed (it really felt like a chest or lung issue, it never had the typical reflux side effects you might think of). 

[Jenniferbug]

@emma675, I still get to work from home, thank goodness. My position was work from home before the pandemic, but we still had to go in for meetings. From what I've heard, they haven't even started talking about bringing the people who didn't work from home before back into the office. 

That's nice you have a friendly neighborhood where you can stop and chat with neighbors 🙂 Social interaction is hard to come by these days! 

[sixlets]

I am so sorry to see so many of you and your family members going through hard times.  Our world makes no sense right now, and we all need to give ourselves the space to feel our feelings.  We're seeing the best of people with those on the frontlines along with the worst of people, and it's a lot to take in at once.  Take the kindness that you would show to others and give it to yourself (easier said than done, I know).  

For those looking for a light-hearted, feel good, crazy story, I have one.  

On 6/18/2020 at 8:47 AM, doodlebug said:

My mom was born in the thriving metropolis of Blairsville, PA and grew up in and around there.  She usually told people she was from Indiana, PA since that was the biggest town around and some people had actually heard of it.  Other local hotspots are Homer City, Salt Lick and Shelocta.

My jaw is still on the floor after reading doodle's post 24 hours later.  That thriving metropolis is also my hometown.  I have been able to trace bits and pieces of my family tree to 6 generations dating back to the 1760s. Apparently, we're a hearty bunch of folks!  I get excited when I talk to someone who has heard of Blairsville, but I never 'met' anyone online who has family from the area.  It's truly a small (but scary) world! 

 

 

 

[Nysha]

I'm hoping that my college doesn't have to do the online/work at home thing again b/c I'm pretty sure my position will be eliminated. 90% of what I do revolves around having students in the lab. Yesterday the Dean told my boss there has been some discussion about having her go to an 11 month contract & having me work part-time in another department. Given that both of us have contracts and our salary and benefits are written into the grant that funds us, I have a feeling someone at the college wants to do some slight of hand accounting to use our grant to cover their payroll. 

[latetotheparty]

@Scarlett45 thanks for posting Maya Angelou’s poem today. I have it in a book. She’s always been a huge role model for me spiritually. I hope the world gets better as you mark every Juneteenth. ❤️
 

[doodlebug]

On 6/18/2020 at 11:12 PM, Jynnan tonnix said:

So. my daughter still seems to be maintaining an iffy grip on reality with her being convinced she is dying. 

She has an appointment with the pulmonologist scheduled for July 15, but in the meantime the nurse practitioner at her regular doctor's office set her up with a bunch of tests. 

For anyone who missed my previous posts on the matter, she has a slight cough which has been hanging on for a few weeks, so went in for a COVID-19 test, which was negative, so she immediately went to the next worst options, but her chest X-ray also showed no irregularities, so she settled on COPD as the only possible diagnosis, but all she apparently knows about it is that it is incurable, as I found out from my son-in-law while babysitting today, she has not looked into the life-expectancy for COPD diagnosis out of fear, so still thinks it's something that will mow her down more or less immediately. This is a girl with a master's degree in library sciences who lives for research.

Anyway, she had a breathing test, full blood panel and CAT scan today. Lung function is normal, blood work is normal, and so far, CAT scan looks clear, though they will get back to her with full findings tomorrow. But since they tell her they don't know what is causing her symptoms, she interprets that as, basically, an unknown, but nevertheless fatal malady.

She's been prescribed some Xanax, which she finally did agree to take, and though she says it has kept her from completely hitting rock bottom emotionally (she has been practically catatonic with fear for the past week or two), it really hasn't helped with her anxiety. According to my son-in-law, she's back to merely lashing out at him for everything he tries to do, similarly to the way she acted three or four weeks ago, which is actually better than the next-to non responsive attitude she's had since. He's been so patient with her, but it's been difficult, and my granddaughter is beginning to act out from the lack of attention she gets from her mom. I've been babysitting a couple of days a week, and hopefully they will come move in with us for a little bit, as they can both work from home, so it shouldn't be an issue. She does seem to do better over here.

Still, she is really frustrated over what she perceives as no-one taking her concerns seriously, when she says that she is the only one who can truly feel what her symptoms are, and to her, the shortness of breath feels as though it is obviously very, very serious.

I told her, today, after all the tests she had done, that as long as everything was looking positive so far, she had to actually face the fact that her symptoms might stem from anxiety, and that there was nothing really wrong with her, but her answer was that I needed to face the fact that maybe there really WAS something wrong. So here we are.

Sorry for the novel, but I'm getting really scared that she is on her way to really losing her grip on reality.

I'm so sorry.  As you probably realize, COPD is diagnosed with pulmonary function tests and chest imaging, X rays or CT's.  The fact that her pulmonary function tests are normal rules out the possibility of COPD completely as well as asthma and other serious pulmonary conditions. Her lungs are not the source of her symptoms. It can be very difficult to get someone to let go of their delusional thinking, though.  There are other medications that might help her, xanax is temporarily going to help her calm down, but it isn't going to break the cycle of obsessive thinking that she is experiencing.

Has her husband contacted her doctor and let him or her know how incredibly obsessed she is with her self-diagnosis?  If not, perhaps he should.  She cannot go on as she is and neither can the rest of the family.  I'm praying for all of you.

[ChiCricket]

   I was telling my kids and grandkids today (in a zoom meeting) that I just learned this week what Juneteenth meant.  Most of them didn't know what it was until recently either. Only my two granddaughters who live in the city of Chicago knew (and then only from their friends.)

I think this should be taught in school.

Edited June 20, 2020 by ChiCricket

[doodlebug]

14 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I bought those too. They give away masks to those in need when you order. (I forget the details) They took a long time to arrive. They're pretty good. I like that they have a nose wire. I'm finding that I'm so picky about my masks. I have small ears and the loops on most masks are too big, despite the fact that I have a big (Duggar-like!) head, lol. Anyway, my favorite masks are the ones I made myself. But these are nice. They have pleats and good coverage at a good price.

We went to Costco yesterday and it was great. Everyone was masked and there was tape and social distancing signs everywhere. The cashiers had big shields and a helper to put your stuff on and to fill your cart. You pull off your own receipt to show at the door and that person is behind a shield as well. I felt pretty safe at our first foray into a store since 3/13! 

ETA: I just wanted to add that I also purchased a Clean Phone sanitizer. It's really nice. I can sanitize my phone, remote control, keys, masks etc. And it also charges my phone. I got it from this site: https://thecleanphone.com/ It's pricey, but it came quickly and I use it constantly. Should be good for flu season as well. 

I bought one of those little UV sanitizers on Amazon and am very happy with it.  I wear a cloth mask at work all day and just pop it in there when I get home and it is sanitized in about 15 minutes.  Same with my phone.  I've got a whole wardrobe of masks these days and this saves having to wash them every day.