Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Jynnan tonnix]

28 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Me too.  Even when I was looking for houses more than 25 years ago and still in my 30's, I was always looking for the least amount of space.  I ended up with a 3 bedroom home only because it is tough to find one smaller and I needed a house with a yard for the dog(s).  As it is, I keep the doors shut to 2 of the bedrooms to keep the dogs out of there so I don't have to clean them very often.   I also wonder about people who need a separate dedicated guest room.  Are they planning to join Airbnb?  Who has that many guests that they need a special room only for them?

Back in the day, I used to do all my own housework, mainly out of guilt because my own mom worked full time for a lot of years and never had any help and I felt bad that, living alone, I couldn't keep up.  Then I thought on it a bit and realized my mother would've jumped at the chance to have someone else clean her house and never looked back.  I immediately found someone to clean and it is the highlight of my day to come home once every other week to a house that is sparkling.

But if you don't have a guest room, it's hard to find space for guests when you DO have them. I Back when the kids were growing up we mostly didn't have guest rooms - sometimes the boys shared a room, sometimes everyone had their own, as we were moving around with the Navy. The house we have now, we specifically got with extra bedrooms in case any of the kids needed to move back in for a period (daughter and son-in-law stayed with us for a year while saving up for their own house, and younger son moved in after college, after they had moved out, and stayed for about a year as well while waiting to be able to get into Officer Candidate School. which turned out to be a much longer process than anticipated for various reasons. We also wanted to make sure we had a convenient in-law suite for my parents (now only my mom), which she will be moving into soon. So even if it's just the two of us here in a four (technically five, but we turned one into the library)-bedroom house, all the bedrooms are full at holidays, and if we have my brother-in-law as well, he ends up sleeping on the couch. 

Someday we'll downsize, I suppose, but for the time being I love having all the extra space, even if it's a bit more cleaning. I actually find it much easier to keep a bigger space looking good, as there is always enough room for everything and far less clutter.

[ozziemom]

And if you live in Florida, your guest room will be occupied at some point by everyone you know up north from December through April!

[BetyBee]

I have 2 dedicated guest rooms for my frequently visiting kids and grandkids.  Make them comfortable and they will come!  It works for us 😊

[Zella]

I'm very pro guest bedroom. Because otherwise in my family, people would get kicked out of their own beds and made to sleep in the living room to accommodate guests, which always struck me as a bunch of shit. 

[Mindthinkr]

10 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Who has that many guests that they need a special room only for them?

I actually do. I have company come about every other weekend. I live near the beaches and good fishing. I also keep the extra rooms at the ready in case my grandchildren come. There are three and they think that coming by themselves to Grandmas is a treat. I give them a budget of $100 and then they call the shots. It’s interesting to see what they choose. The eldest, a granddaughter with a chromosome deletion (18-P as you’d know what this is Doodlebug) likes to go out to dinner so her money disappears pretty fast. The middle boy likes to cook with me (not out of his budget) and then we do movies and museums. The youngest boy also likes to eat my food and do about the same as his brother except he saves enough for a surfing lesson each time he comes. I like that option. I sit on the beach and read a book. 

It seems like I always have company, but am fortunate to have someone come and deep clean (change sheets..clean the bathrooms (3 Full)..floors every other week as well. I’m already expecting company in Nov and Dec. about 10-15 days worth of visiting and that’s not including my family. 

Edited October 14, 2019 by Mindthinkr
Dang. I thought that I had proofread that. Sorry.

[jcbrown]

We have a dedicated guest room with its own bathroom but I am also a bibliophile so it is lined entirely with crammed-full bookcases. And it has a nice east-facing window so the cats use it as a solarium in the mornings. It also served as a place for us to live while our master suite was renovated. 

Before every phase of renovations we've had done, we've vowed to bring in someone else to clean. These vows began nearly six years ago and we still are here in a less-than-optimally-clean house, having never hired anyone.

[Christina87]

Hi guys!!! Guess what? My flu has turned into bronchitis and a sinus infection! It is miserable. I went back to work last week, and felt rough, but okay Monday to Wednesday. Thursday and Friday were terrible, so I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm really considering taking tomorrow off. I have no sick days yet, so I'll have a ton of days without pay, but I'm honestly not sure I can make it through tomorrow, annnnd I probably shouldn't have gone Friday, either!

on a positive note, my birthday was Monday!!! I went out with my parents and had a great time. I'm excited about a new year...when I am well. It feels like it will never happen!!!

[lookeyloo]

4 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

But if you don't have a guest room, it's hard to find space for guests when you DO have them. I Back when the kids were growing up we mostly didn't have guest rooms - sometimes the boys shared a room, sometimes everyone had their own, as we were moving around with the Navy. The house we have now, we specifically got with extra bedrooms in case any of the kids needed to move back in for a period (daughter and son-in-law stayed with us for a year while saving up for their own house, and younger son moved in after college, after they had moved out, and stayed for about a year as well while waiting to be able to get into Officer Candidate School. which turned out to be a much longer process than anticipated for various reasons. We also wanted to make sure we had a convenient in-law suite for my parents (now only my mom), which she will be moving into soon. So even if it's just the two of us here in a four (technically five, but we turned one into the library)-bedroom house, all the bedrooms are full at holidays, and if we have my brother-in-law as well, he ends up sleeping on the couch. 

Someday we'll downsize, I suppose, but for the time being I love having all the extra space, even if it's a bit more cleaning. I actually find it much easier to keep a bigger space looking good, as there is always enough room for everything and far less clutter.

I agree that a bigger house with less in it is really easy to keep clean.  When we moved here from a 3/2, no basement, we ditched a lot, really a lot, and didn't replace any of it.  We have a 4/3.5 now with a basement.  And some kind former owner built really nice off the floor shelves down there.  The guest room and bath are used often enough for us to be glad to have them, and I  have my own sewing room I can close the door on, and Mr. lookeyloo has his computer room he can close the door on.  All very convenient and not hard to clean at all.  No pets, though except a drama queen fish who seems to like a dirty tank.

[Zella]

21 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Hi guys!!! Guess what? My flu has turned into bronchitis and a sinus infection! It is miserable. I went back to work last week, and felt rough, but okay Monday to Wednesday. Thursday and Friday were terrible, so I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm really considering taking tomorrow off. I have no sick days yet, so I'll have a ton of days without pay, but I'm honestly not sure I can make it through tomorrow, annnnd I probably shouldn't have gone Friday, either!

on a positive note, my birthday was Monday!!! I went out with my parents and had a great time. I'm excited about a new year...when I am well. It feels like it will never happen!!!

Ugh you have my sympathy! I had bronchitis earlier this year, and it was miserable. Currently harboring a mild cold and hoping, hoping, hoping it doesn't sprout into bronchitis again. Hope you feel better soon--and happy belated birthday!

[galaxychaser]

41 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Hi guys!!! Guess what? My flu has turned into bronchitis and a sinus infection! It is miserable. I went back to work last week, and felt rough, but okay Monday to Wednesday. Thursday and Friday were terrible, so I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm really considering taking tomorrow off. I have no sick days yet, so I'll have a ton of days without pay, but I'm honestly not sure I can make it through tomorrow, annnnd I probably shouldn't have gone Friday, either!

on a positive note, my birthday was Monday!!! I went out with my parents and had a great time. I'm excited about a new year...when I am well. It feels like it will never happen!!!

I’m sorry! I hope you feel better soon! 

Edited October 13, 2019 by galaxychaser

[BetyBee]

Happy belated birthday, Christina.  Hope you feel better soon!

Edited October 13, 2019 by BetyBee

[galaxychaser]

Did anyone see the Joker?

[BitterApple]

Just now, galaxychaser said:

Did anyone see the Joker?

My husband and I saw it last Thursday. We both loved it.

[Scarlett45]

Hey everyone. I’m not feeling so well today- not sick, just my head hurts and I’m tired, BUT my Mommy bought my sister and I each a Mrs Prindables gourmet apple. Omg it was the highlight of my day. #thingsfatpeoplesay🥰🥰♥️♥️
 

I recommend if speciality holiday food is your jam.

https://www.mrsprindables.com/

[galaxychaser]

16 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

My husband and I saw it last Thursday. We both loved it.

Is it depressing, violent, sad? I hated the trailer.

[Scarlett45]

@doodlebug I know what you mean about guest rooms! Who wants to keep an entire room for people who don’t live there? But I didn’t grow up having houseguests or being a houseguest- traveling we ALWAYS started in hotels, and all of my close family lives in the Chicagoland area, so just go home after visiting. Had someone expected to stay in my Mother’s house she would’ve looked at them like they had two heads “this isn’t a hotel”. Now I do have a second bedroom that my oldest friend uses when she comes home (she teaches abroad), but I use that as my holiday storage and off season space rather than traveling all the way to the basement. 
 

@Christina87 happy belated bday. We are 2 years and a few days a part. I’m sorry you are sick so early in the school year. Feel better. 

[Christina87]

27 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

@doodlebug I know what you mean about guest rooms! Who wants to keep an entire room for people who don’t live there? But I didn’t grow up having houseguests or being a houseguest- traveling we ALWAYS started in hotels, and all of my close family lives in the Chicagoland area, so just go home after visiting. Had someone expected to stay in my Mother’s house she would’ve looked at them like they had two heads “this isn’t a hotel”. Now I do have a second bedroom that my oldest friend uses when she comes home (she teaches abroad), but I use that as my holiday storage and off season space rather than traveling all the way to the basement. 
 

@Christina87 happy belated bday. We are 2 years and a few days a part. I’m sorry you are sick so early in the school year. Feel better. 

Thank you, and that is so cool! I wish we lived closer, and could go out and celebrate our birthdays together!!!

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

Is it depressing, violent, sad? I hated the trailer.

It's all three, but it's so gripping and haunting you can't look away. The performances are really good.

[jcbrown]

3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

@Christina87 happy belated bday. We are 2 years and a few days a part. I’m sorry you are sick so early in the school year. Feel better. 

2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Thank you, and that is so cool! I wish we lived closer, and could go out and celebrate our birthdays together!!!

Happy birthday to both of you! My birthday was 3 October, though if you are a couple of years apart, I suspect I have a couple of decades on both of you.

[Jynnan tonnix]

OK...sorry I'm going to post yet another picture, but my mom just gets to me sometimes. We just finally had our driveway paved (after almost seven years in this house with a crushed asphalt - basically gravel- driveway full of puddles and grass). I'm thinking it looks pretty sharp, and will definitely be soooo much easier when it comes to things like clearing the driveway of snow, and even not having to deal with the daily bumpbumpBUMP of getting over the drainage-ditch hump turning in and out of the driveway.

Anyway, Mom was here this weekend for Mr Jyn's birthday, and other than nagging at him to make sure he got grass seed planted where they graded top soil around the drive right away, seemed very happy. When I got her home, she reiterated that we needed to get the grass seed in NOW, and I told her we know, and that people actually might tend to do things faster when they didn't feel as though they were being nagged, which she thought was "very stupid". Then she said she had kept her mouth closed for literally years waiting for us to get around to things, and that "once you get to a certain level, it seems that it would be important to you to make sure you are presenting yourself well" (we're talking solid middle to somewhat upper middle class here), and that "no one ever does anything" around our place, and "it's always unkempt and gives a really bad impression". Now, having read a lot of the snark on the Duggars, maybe she is right, and people are driving by our place thinking, "Ugh, why do the people here let things go so badly?" but it honestly doesn't look that horrible to me. Even after six or seven years there are works in progress and some things we don't get to as soon as we should...So, at the risk of getting compared to some of those we pile criticism on, here's the front yard. Please be honest....if my mom is right, and people really are driving past with a bad taste in their mouths, maybe I need my eyes opened. 

Edited October 14, 2019 by Jynnan tonnix

[wilsie]

@GeeGolly or whoever needs to cleanse their brain.  I love this so much:  

[Scarlett45]

7 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

Happy birthday to both of you! My birthday was 3 October, though if you are a couple of years apart, I suspect I have a couple of decades on both of you.

My birthday is October 3 too!

[Jynnan tonnix]

3 minutes ago, wilsie said:

@GeeGolly or whoever needs to cleanse their brain.  I love this so much:  

My heart is in love with this right now, and my eyes are leaking big time!!

[jcbrown]

8 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

OK...sorry I'm going to post yet another picture, but my mom just gets to me sometimes. We just finally had our driveway paved (after almost seven years in this house with a crushed asphalt - basically gravel- driveway full of puddles and grass). I'm thinking it looks pretty sharp, and will definitely be soooo much easier when it comes to things like clearing the driveway of snow, and even the daily bumpbumpBUMP of getting over the drainage-ditch hump turning into the driveway.

Anyway, Mom was here this weekend for Mr Jyn's birthday, and other than nagging at him to make sure he got grass seed planted where they graded top soil around the drive right away, seemed very happy. When I got her home, she reiterated that we needed to get the grass see in NOW, and I told her we know, and that people actually might tend to do things faster when they didn't feel as though they were being nagged, which she thought was "very stupid". Then she said she had kept her mouth closed for literally years waiting for us to get around to things, and that "once you get to a certain level, it seems that it would be important to you to make sure you are presenting yourself well (we're talking solid middle to somewhat upper middle class here), and that "no one ever does anything" around our place, and "it's always unkempt and gives a really bad impression". Now, having read a lot of the snark on the Duggars, maybe she is right, and people are driving by our place thinking, "Ugh, why do the people here let things go so badly?" but it honestly doesn't look that horrible to me. Even after six or seven years there are works in progress and some things we don't get to as soon as we should...So, at the risk of getting compared to some of those we pile criticism on, here's the front yard. Please be honest....if my mom is right, and people really are driving past with a bad taste in their mouths, maybe I need my eyes opened. 

I think your house looks completely normal and quite nice. And humongous, but that's the San Francisco Bay Area part of my brain talking.

6 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

My birthday is October 3 too!

Excellent choice!

[Scarlett45]

8 minutes ago, wilsie said:

@GeeGolly or whoever needs to cleanse their brain.  I love this so much:  

Awww. I’m going to share with my mom. 

[wilsie]

1 minute ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

My heart is in love with this right now, and my eyes are leaking big time!!

She really touches the heart, doesn't she?  Such an old soul with that sweet little voice💗

1 minute ago, Scarlett45 said:

Awww. I’m going to share with my mom. 

It really is wonderful to share.

[Jynnan tonnix]

13 hours ago, jcbrown said:

My mom might have softened her tone but she always insisted on correct English. And no "yay!"s. Did I mention she was an elementary school teacher?

I am just sad for those boys because Jill and Dreck seem like the least emotionally invested parents of the bunch. They don't even seem to like their kids all that much.

It's so easy to pick up some of their words, though! My granddaughter has a few of her own. While she got the hang of saying "No!" a couple of months ago, "yes" is still alien to her. But if you ask her a question and the answer is positive, you get a hearty "a-Ya!". One of the latest Remy-isms is "itsy". She loves the itsy bitsy spider song, and any bug she sees as long as it's an "itsy". As soon as it becomes a "fly" or an "ant" , she freaks out LOL. I would love to know how the gears in those little minds work.

She's also scared to death of fire, so we have to keep the gas fireplaces off when she is here. Yesterday was Mr Jyn's birthday, though, and she freaked out seeing the candles on his cake, even though he blew them out right after we sang "Happy Birthday". It took a good 20 minutes to convince her to try a bit of the cake, and even though she was still reticent, she kept calling it "Happy-Day". She's 18 months old, though, so I still think that's pretty good on the talking front. She probably has well over 50 words at this point.

Edited October 14, 2019 by Jynnan tonnix

[wilsie]

13 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

OK...sorry I'm going to post yet another picture, but my mom just gets to me sometimes. We just finally had our driveway paved (after almost seven years in this house with a crushed asphalt - basically gravel- driveway full of puddles and grass). I'm thinking it looks pretty sharp, and will definitely be soooo much easier when it comes to things like clearing the driveway of snow, and even the daily bumpbumpBUMP of getting over the drainage-ditch hump turning into the driveway.

Anyway, Mom was here this weekend for Mr Jyn's birthday, and other than nagging at him to make sure he got grass seed planted where they graded top soil around the drive right away, seemed very happy. When I got her home, she reiterated that we needed to get the grass see in NOW, and I told her we know, and that people actually might tend to do things faster when they didn't feel as though they were being nagged, which she thought was "very stupid". Then she said she had kept her mouth closed for literally years waiting for us to get around to things, and that "once you get to a certain level, it seems that it would be important to you to make sure you are presenting yourself well (we're talking solid middle to somewhat upper middle class here), and that "no one ever does anything" around our place, and "it's always unkempt and gives a really bad impression". Now, having read a lot of the snark on the Duggars, maybe she is right, and people are driving by our place thinking, "Ugh, why do the people here let things go so badly?" but it honestly doesn't look that horrible to me. Even after six or seven years there are works in progress and some things we don't get to as soon as we should...So, at the risk of getting compared to some of those we pile criticism on, here's the front yard. Please be honest....if my mom is right, and people really are driving past with a bad taste in their mouths, maybe I need my eyes opened. 

I think it looks fine, too.  Sometimes people, especially those close to us, don't realize how hurtful their words can be.  You have some flower beds that look nice.  Your driveway is really long and looks great.  That should have been what was noticed.  

[emma675]

Jynnan tonnix, all due respect to your mom, because I'm sure she's usually a nice lady, but she needs to shut it about your house. I think it looks nice and I'm jealous of your long, smooth driveway. 

[whydoiwatch]

Thanks to everyone who posted upthread about the country music series by Ken Burns. I might have skipped it had it not been for the reviews here. 

While country music is not usually what I listen to, learning more about the long history behind it was fascinating and gave me a greater appreciation for the contributions made by so many country singers and songwriters. Everything Ken Burns does it so very good.

Edited October 14, 2019 by whydoiwatch

[galaxychaser]

I guess the little girl got adopted. What a sweetheart.

[Scarlett45]

Just now, galaxychaser said:

I guess the little girl got adopted. What a sweetheart.

She was telling her mom about how she felt when she and her little sister first met them, yes she’s adopted. 

[Mindthinkr]

51 minutes ago, wilsie said:

@GeeGolly or whoever needs to cleanse their brain.  I love this so much:  

Oh be still my heart.    Wow. 

[Zella]

Jyn, your place looks lovely! 

[pinkie]

Jyn: Don’t u worry. Yr home & its’ driveway/landscaping look just fine! 

*smugly mentioning that our grass seeding was done yesterday* lol

(after neglecting to do it for almost 2!! years of “growing dirt”)

[zoomama]

just need a moment to vent:  i have been planning our 45th reunion with a group of us for a year now - it is going to be this saturday. our first ticket sold was to a guy that actually left school early but has been faithful to stay in touch. i found out that he died a few days ago, alone in his apartment. dont know circumstances yet but just wanted to say that my heart is so sad and i cant even post about it because the authorities are looking for next of kin to be notified first.  he was unlucky in life in many ways but he was just about the most sensitive, generous, nice guy you could find. to say i am devastated is a small word. i think this is the first actual peer that i have lost since we first graduated (there have been a few but not close to me). we are not old yet....only 63.  this really hurts.

[Barb23]

8 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Hey everyone. I’m not feeling so well today- not sick, just my head hurts and I’m tired, BUT my Mommy bought my sister and I each a Mrs Prindables gourmet apple. Omg it was the highlight of my day. #thingsfatpeoplesay🥰🥰♥️♥️
 

I recommend if speciality holiday food is your jam.

https://www.mrsprindables.com/

Yum, I'm jealous.

QVC also sells Mrs Prindables apples especially around this time as year as they make nice gifts. They offer many different types  & combos & it may be cheaper  ordering from QVC  than their main site. Plus QVC has free shipping on all their food items all the time.

Happy Birthday to all the October birthdays out there.  Autumn birthdays are plentiful in our family with October having the most. 

@Jynnan tonnix you have a lovely house with a very nice driveway.  IIRC, you  have beautiful gardens as well which you were nice enough to share pictures with us a while back.

Sending healing wishes to anyone who needs them. 

Happy Columbus Day & hope everyone has a good week.

[lookeyloo]

8 hours ago, zoomama said:

just need a moment to vent:  i have been planning our 45th reunion with a group of us for a year now - it is going to be this saturday. our first ticket sold was to a guy that actually left school early but has been faithful to stay in touch. i found out that he died a few days ago, alone in his apartment. dont know circumstances yet but just wanted to say that my heart is so sad and i cant even post about it because the authorities are looking for next of kin to be notified first.  he was unlucky in life in many ways but he was just about the most sensitive, generous, nice guy you could find. to say i am devastated is a small word. i think this is the first actual peer that i have lost since we first graduated (there have been a few but not close to me). we are not old yet....only 63.  this really hurts.

I am so sorry to hear that - so sad - I am going through my own hard times right now, with the son being so sick with a bad outcome in sight, that I have learned that sometimes saying nothing except I am sorry is plenty enough to hear.    So, I am very sorry for him, and for you and for the rest of the classmates who cared about him.  Hugs.

[BetyBee]

10 hours ago, zoomama said:

just need a moment to vent:  i have been planning our 45th reunion with a group of us for a year now - it is going to be this saturday. our first ticket sold was to a guy that actually left school early but has been faithful to stay in touch. i found out that he died a few days ago, alone in his apartment. dont know circumstances yet but just wanted to say that my heart is so sad and i cant even post about it because the authorities are looking for next of kin to be notified first.  he was unlucky in life in many ways but he was just about the most sensitive, generous, nice guy you could find. to say i am devastated is a small word. i think this is the first actual peer that i have lost since we first graduated (there have been a few but not close to me). we are not old yet....only 63.  this really hurts.

Zoomama, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.  He sounds like a sweet person.  

I'm 64 and I come from a huge high school class, so we have had some losses, some of whom I didn't even know.  On the day this year when I turned in my retirement notice, I learned that a dear, dear childhood friend had suddenly passed away.  We were planning to get together that weekend (with the few girls from grade and high school that I'm still in touch with on a regular basis).  I was devastated and still miss her every day.  I thought our Saturday lunch would be me telling them I was retiring.  Instead we got together anyway and shared memories, after attending her memorial service.  She was the nicest of all of us.  The only comfort I could come up with was that retiring and spending more time with my family was the right choice!  Staying in touch with those you hold dear is so important.  

[doodlebug]

14 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

OK...sorry I'm going to post yet another picture, but my mom just gets to me sometimes. We just finally had our driveway paved (after almost seven years in this house with a crushed asphalt - basically gravel- driveway full of puddles and grass). I'm thinking it looks pretty sharp, and will definitely be soooo much easier when it comes to things like clearing the driveway of snow, and even not having to deal with the daily bumpbumpBUMP of getting over the drainage-ditch hump turning in and out of the driveway.

Anyway, Mom was here this weekend for Mr Jyn's birthday, and other than nagging at him to make sure he got grass seed planted where they graded top soil around the drive right away, seemed very happy. When I got her home, she reiterated that we needed to get the grass seed in NOW, and I told her we know, and that people actually might tend to do things faster when they didn't feel as though they were being nagged, which she thought was "very stupid". Then she said she had kept her mouth closed for literally years waiting for us to get around to things, and that "once you get to a certain level, it seems that it would be important to you to make sure you are presenting yourself well" (we're talking solid middle to somewhat upper middle class here), and that "no one ever does anything" around our place, and "it's always unkempt and gives a really bad impression". Now, having read a lot of the snark on the Duggars, maybe she is right, and people are driving by our place thinking, "Ugh, why do the people here let things go so badly?" but it honestly doesn't look that horrible to me. Even after six or seven years there are works in progress and some things we don't get to as soon as we should...So, at the risk of getting compared to some of those we pile criticism on, here's the front yard. Please be honest....if my mom is right, and people really are driving past with a bad taste in their mouths, maybe I need my eyes opened. 

I think you're house looks just fine.  When I drive past a place like that and see a new driveway, I know why the grass along the sides is gone and it makes me think that the people living there are doing what needs to be done to take care of the property.

Tell your mom she needs to see an eye doctor because she is obviously not seeing clearly when it comes to your house.

[Chicklet]

What is it with some mothers and their daughter's homes? My house isn't big enough nor does it have enough bathrooms for my mother. She won't stay here (whew bullet dodged) but she feels free to let me know these things.

Mine at least lives 2000 miles away.

Edited October 14, 2019 by Chicklet
Spelling really helps.

[Jynnan tonnix]

14 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I think you're house looks just fine.  When I drive past a place like that and see a new driveway, I know why the grass along the sides is gone and it makes me think that the people living there are doing what needs to be done to take care of the property.

Tell your mom she needs to see an eye doctor because she is obviously not seeing clearly when it comes to your house.

It's not so much the bare strips alongside the drive - she knows why they are there as well, and thinks the driveway guys did a great job. It's just that she doesn't trust us to re-seed them in time. Mr Jyn did actually do that yesterday, but is still not really talking to me since he's so aggravated that my mom said what she did. I shouldn't have vented to him, though, since he always seems to shoot the messenger, as it were.

Mom's main gripe about the yard looking "unkempt", though, is things like the woodpile alongside the garage, which doesn't tend to get organized, and ends up with other odds and ends, plus weeds in and alongside of it, weeds in the flowerbeds (while I'm generally really good at taking care of them into the summer, I do tend to slow down when it starts getting really hot, and this year in particular, after my surgery, I really couldn't do any weeding for quite a long time. I could do it now, but most of the weeds have died back, so I haven't been in any particular hurry). Then there's the fact that we have to order more topsoil almost every year for this or that because apparently all the topsoil on our stretch of the road was sold off before the property was sold as building lots, so while weeds do just fine, many other things really don't want to grow. So there's very often a pile of topsoil with a tarp over it, and generally a few shovels and such which didn't get put away (you can kind of see it in the photo, to the left of the garage. There are also a couple of wheelbarrows out there with bushes that we bought a little while ago and didn't get around to putting in the ground, but Mr Jyn is out there doing them now with our younger son who is home on leave from the Marines.

Anyway, I'll be the first to admit that we probably do have a bad habit of leaving tools out and/or procrastinating, but I just don't imagine that most people would look at our home and have their first impression be one of neglect the way Mom seems to think.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Chicklet said:

What is it with some mothers and their daughter's homes? My house isn't big enough nor does it have enough bathrooms for my mother. She won't stay here (whew bullet dodged) but she feels free to let me know these things.

Mine at least lives 2000 miles away.

Awwww. 
 I am sorry your Mom says these things. 
 

I think situations like that stem from insecurity. When people are secure in themselves they don’t feel the need to criticize others. To be gendered, the way a daughter keeps her home is seen as a reflection of her upbringing (which was Mom’s job), so choosing to have a different home environment or style that one’s mother would want can be taken as 1. A rejection of the way you were brought up, 2. Mom didn’t teach you your duties as a woman in our culture- If ones mother is insecure she takes out these issues on her adult daughter. 

[Love2dance]

I just caught up on the last few days posts. 

First, happy birthday to all of you with October birthdays. Hope you have a wonderful year, too! 🎂🎉

Second, those of you who are under the weather, I hope you feel better soon! Especially since several of you are also birthday girls. 😥

@Jynnan tonnix, gosh, I think your home is beautiful. All I see is beautiful architecture and lots of room to enjoy. I am a mother to (very) adult kids and I just can’t imagine being critical of how they want to live (at least out loud). You should be proud of what you have accomplished, and enjoy every minute in your beautiful home.
 

 

[Natalie68]

20 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Hey everyone. I’m not feeling so well today- not sick, just my head hurts and I’m tired, BUT my Mommy bought my sister and I each a Mrs Prindables gourmet apple. Omg it was the highlight of my day. #thingsfatpeoplesay🥰🥰♥️♥️
 

I recommend if speciality holiday food is your jam.

https://www.mrsprindables.com/

Feel better!  My best friend sent me these one year for Xmas.  They are sooooo good!

[Christina87]

39 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Awwww. 
 I am sorry your Mom says these things. 
 

I think situations like that stem from insecurity. When people are secure in themselves they don’t feel the need to criticize others. To be gendered, the way a daughter keeps her home is seen as a reflection of her upbringing (which was Mom’s job), so choosing to have a different home environment or style that one’s mother would want can be taken as 1. A rejection of the way you were brought up, 2. Mom didn’t teach you your duties as a woman in our culture- If ones mother is insecure she takes out these issues on her adult daughter. 

I saw this kind of weird gendered thing so much in the college dorms! All of the girls were trying to one up each other on cleaning, like the way they had learned was the ONLY way, and it was their duty to educate everyone else! I've always been a neat person, and a good cleaner, but I'll never forget freshman year, when my suitmate had a FIT about how "filthy" our bathroom was! Four girls shared it, and it was a teeeeeny space, with just room for a toilet and small shower. She pulled us all in there to see the "filth," and honestly, it looked fine. Then, she INSISTED that we had to go out and buy a Swiffer mop, for that space that probably wasn't even two square yards! She said if we pitched in and bought it, she would use it. It took until senior year to not have any suitmates who were holier than thou cleaners...and then, I ended up with total slobs, lol! All of the girls like this were just very bossy people in general, anyway. I was more than happy to do my share of the cleaning, but I didn't appreciate the condescending attitudes of these self-appointed experts. It HAS to be a gendered thing, because you would never see this in a boys dorm!!!

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

Feel better!  My best friend sent me these one year for Xmas.  They are sooooo good!

I just ate 1/4 after lunch at work. Delicious!!!

[Natalie68]

16 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I just ate 1/4 after lunch at work. Delicious!!!

JELLY!!!!!  I had to laugh when I got the box.  There were a lot in there and it is just me and my husband.  We both prob gained a bit of weight that Xmas.  HA!  ENJOY!!!!

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

I saw this kind of weird gendered thing so much in the college dorms! All of the girls were trying to one up each other on cleaning, like the way they had learned was the ONLY way, and it was their duty to educate everyone else! I've always been a neat person, and a good cleaner, but I'll never forget freshman year, when my suitmate had a FIT about how "filthy" our bathroom was! Four girls shared it, and it was a teeeeeny space, with just room for a toilet and small shower. She pulled us all in there to see the "filth," and honestly, it looked fine. Then, she INSISTED that we had to go out and buy a Swiffer mop, for that space that probably wasn't even two square yards! She said if we pitched in and bought it, she would use it. It took until senior year to not have any suitmates who were holier than thou cleaners...and then, I ended up with total slobs, lol! All of the girls like this were just very bossy people in general, anyway. I was more than happy to do my share of the cleaning, but I didn't appreciate the condescending attitudes of these self-appointed experts. It HAS to be a gendered thing, because you would never see this in a boys dorm!!!

@Christina87 and you grew up/live in the south. The stereotype of southern women and their homemaking skills is true. I’ve noticed other parts of the country people our age tend to go out to socialize, but in the south presenting a good home and being an excellent hostess is expected for women. 

[Christina87]

21 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

@Christina87 and you grew up/live in the south. The stereotype of southern women and their homemaking skills is true. I’ve noticed other parts of the country people our age tend to go out to socialize, but in the south presenting a good home and being an excellent hostess is expected for women. 

That's really interesting! Since this is the only place I've lived, I don't have that perspective. It makes sense, though. Most women I know are very serious about keeping a nice home!