Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Arwen Evenstar]

Thank you all for your prayers/love and light/good vibes as I work towards my recovery. It’s been a crummy year for many of us, be it our health, work, natural disasters, loss of loved ones, etc.  I’m moving around a lot more, and it looks like I will have 2 more Avastin treatments before my next scan, which would be mid February.  I’m free of any pain medication, other than the gabapentin for my neuropathy, but no more opioids for pain  management since early November.

i wish you all a safe, joyful, and peaceful holiday season and a better 2018 for all of us. 

[bigskygirl]

41 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Thank you all for your prayers/love and light/good vibes as I work towards my recovery. It’s been a crummy year for many of us, be it our health, work, natural disasters, loss of loved ones, etc.  I’m moving around a lot more, and it looks like I will have 2 more Avastin treatments before my next scan, which would be mid February.  I’m free of any pain medication, other than the gabapentin for my neuropathy, but no more opioids for pain  management since early November.

i wish you all a safe, joyful, and peaceful holiday season and a better 2018 for all of us. 

Wonderful! You go girl! Full frontal hugs {{{HUGS}}}

[emma675]

Merry Christmas to our posters who celebrate and happy holidays to all of us. Here's hoping 2018 is a much better year in general.

[crazycatlady58]

I hope everyone  has a Merry Christmas ,  Happy Kwanzaa , great  Chanukah , a Happy  winter Solstice and for  those who do not follow  a particular  faith I hope you have a relaxing  day off.

[ginger90]

Happy days, people !

[MargeGunderson]

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it, and happy holiday season to everyone! 

Edited December 25, 2017 by MargeGunderson

[zoomama]

yes, friends, blessings upon you!

[jjane]

It's Christmas Day here, although very early. I hope everyone who celebrates Christmas has a wonderful one, and for everyone I wish a great 2018. For those f us who have had our challenges, I hope 2018 is a much better year full of love, laughter, good health, family and friends. It makes me very happy to be a part of such a caring community. There were times I talked about things here that I would never say in real life. I know this is  not meant to be a support group or  anything of the sort, but sometimes it does function as one to a great extent. I appreciate the support I have received more than I could ever say. Much love, huge hugs and wishes for wonderful things for all of you.

[Sew Sumi]

Love and FF hugs to all in our little community. 

Me? Severe panic attack tonight, and I can't sleep. I doubt I'm going anywhere tomorrow. Which, in all truth, is why I was panicking in the first place. 

Merry Christmas if that's your thing. Me? I'll likely be home alone with a hot cuppa tea and some Christmas ham. 

[jjane]

I'm sorry you're having a bad night.  I wish the thought of going out tomorrow did  not upset you so, but you have to take care of yourself first. Try to enjoy your solo day and feel free to vent here if you need to. Love and hugs to you.

[ginger90]

Arrived at work early, roads aren’t great and I can’t stand being late! So, what does one do in such a case? Come here of course, to say, have a good one all!!

[magpye29]

Merry Christmas, all my PTV friends.  You help me get through my days, and I'm so invested in your happiness and well-being.  I hope 2018 is a better year for all of us!

[jjane]

@magpye29, that's a great way to describe the way I feel about the people on this board as  well. I come here to see how everyone is doing, to hurt when they hurt, and to rejoice in their good news. It's a wonderful place to be, virtually. 2018 has to be better,  I insist!.

[jcbrown]

Happy holidays, all. We had a quiet day with two friends over for dinner (beef tenderloin with gorgonzola sauce, brussels sprouts, root vegetable gratin, homemade rolls, chocolate kahlua buche de Noel, other things...). It was a nice respite especially since Dad has been off his nut lately. The nurse at his memory care facility says she has been dreading this weekend, since the disruption in routine makes many of the residents go a little nuts. His hallucinations have been terrible, to the point that he called his friend yesterday to come pick him up but could not tell his friend where he was, talked to my sister for 45 minutes, which she spent trying in vain to orient him to his room, and called before 7 AM and woke me up for more of the same. Oy. Nonetheless, tomorrow is a stay-home-in-PJs day. Much to the happiness of my nearly 18 year-old oldest cat/lap barnacle.

[Catfin]

Ahhhhh, it is done. Had a lovely time with my side Christmas Eve. Spent Christmas Day at home in our jammies, watching movies, reading, napping and eating. Fielded two calls from DH's side checking on "the plan" for the day (hah!). No response from his parents to greetings. I'm sad for DH. 

[MargeGunderson]

@jcbrown, I’m adding “lap barnacle”to the list of descriptors for my elderly cat. It will be a nice change from my usual, “kitty burr.”

[emma675]

For those of you who were looking forward to big celebrations and get togethers, I hope you had a wonderful, joyous day.

For those of you who were just trying to get through the day, you made it, it's over!

[Porkchop]

I have very little family but I am lucky to have found a RV park in Florida that is specifically designed for over-55 singles. Who knew? I have been spending the winter season here for the past five years, so I now have several close friends plus 50+ interesting acquaintances. There is always something to do and everyone is invited to almost everything. It's good to be surrounded by others in similar situations to mine.  I did talk to my daughter up north and received some nice gifts from her. So, on to 2018! Hope it's a good one for you all!

[latetotheparty]

7 hours ago, Porkchop said:

I have very little family but I am lucky to have found a RV park in Florida that is specifically designed for over-55 singles. Who knew? I have been spending the winter season here for the past five years, so I now have several close friends plus 50+ interesting acquaintances. There is always something to do and everyone is invited to almost everything. It's good to be surrounded by others in similar situations to mine.  I did talk to my daughter up north and received some nice gifts from her. So, on to 2018! Hope it's a good one for you all!

If I could tolerate Florida (and if I could ever retire) I would so be your neighbor. 

[bigskygirl]

Yikes! We are expecting 12 to 18 inches of snow in the next few days. Get the snow shovels ready since all of you may need to help me build a snow tunnel to the Prayer Closet.

[magpye29]

Do you guys have someone in your life that, no matter how hard you try, you always seem to do the wrong thing?  I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells with my daughter, and any time I relax, i invariably put my foot in my mouth.  We went wedding dress shopping this week, and I was so pleased to be included because I haven't been asked to help with anything else.  I kept a very low profile, didn't offer opinions unless I was asked, and tried not to give offense in any way.  She told me not to post pictures on facebook (have you ever noticed how many things that "go without saying" get said very pointedly?).  Last night, I was chatting with my son (who lives on the opposite end of the coast from the rest of us, and this was the first Christmas I didn't spend with him) and sent him a picture of my daughter in the top contender, and within an hour, got a text from her not to show pictures to anyone.  She said she didn't mind that it was her brother, but she wanted to be the one to show him.  I can't argue with any of that.  I'm clearly in the wrong, but I just feel like crap about it.  Gah.

[Tabbygirl521]

27 minutes ago, magpye29 said:

Do you guys have someone in your life that, no matter how hard you try, you always seem to do the wrong thing?  I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells with my daughter, and any time I relax, i invariably put my foot in my mouth.  We went wedding dress shopping this week, and I was so pleased to be included because I haven't been asked to help with anything else.  I kept a very low profile, didn't offer opinions unless I was asked, and tried not to give offense in any way.  She told me not to post pictures on facebook (have you ever noticed how many things that "go without saying" get said very pointedly?).  Last night, I was chatting with my son (who lives on the opposite end of the coast from the rest of us, and this was the first Christmas I didn't spend with him) and sent him a picture of my daughter in the top contender, and within an hour, got a text from her not to show pictures to anyone.  She said she didn't mind that it was her brother, but she wanted to be the one to show him.  I can't argue with any of that.  I'm clearly in the wrong, but I just feel like crap about it.  Gah.

I hope you can shake this off soon. I am getting the impression that your daughter could be a little more gracious about including you in this process and allowing you to be excited - especially in sharing with her brother. I mean, yes, it's her wedding but it would be nice if she recognized that her mom is going to be super excited, too. 

[magpye29]

48 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I hope you can shake this off soon. I am getting the impression that your daughter could be a little more gracious about including you in this process and allowing you to be excited - especially in sharing with her brother. I mean, yes, it's her wedding but it would be nice if she recognized that her mom is going to be super excited, too. 

I'm sitting here being a big baby and crying because she cut me out of going to the follow-up dress appointment today and isn't returning the call or text I sent her about something completely unrelated.  

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, magpye29 said:

I'm sitting here being a big baby and crying because she cut me out of going to the follow-up dress appointment today and isn't returning the call or text I sent her about something completely unrelated.  

I hope its just her nerves and anxiety over the wedding planning and she gets a grip.  You didn't do anything wrong, IMO, she is being unreasonable.

[Love2dance]

1 hour ago, magpye29 said:

I'm sitting here being a big baby and crying because she cut me out of going to the follow-up dress appointment today and isn't returning the call or text I sent her about something completely unrelated.  

So sorry, @magpye29. I know you are hurting. I’m going through stuff with my adult daughter now, too, and it is so hard. Sigh.

I really hope she comes around and you can both enjoy the planning and events.

[NotFundie]

1 hour ago, magpye29 said:

I'm sitting here being a big baby and crying because she cut me out of going to the follow-up dress appointment today and isn't returning the call or text I sent her about something completely unrelated.  

I've got grown children with spouses and I have the same problem.  I'm gonna be vague (just in case they ever find my user name) and say that one or two of these kids and/or spouses have the thinnest skin on the planet.  It's agonizing.  I've just gotten through the holidays and most of the nights involved me lying in bed worrying over what I might have said and how it might have been misunderstood.  

Big hugs to you.  I hope your daughter eases off and lets you be a part of her wedding planning.  At any rate, it's her problem and not yours.

[Marigold]

Way off topic...

Can I get some objective opinions on this situation?

My teen daughter is a dancer and dances with a studio.  She has danced there for many years.  All the girls are pretty decent kids and their moms are all OK, so not a bunch of horrible people.  The girls are a mix of public school, Catholic school and two homeschooled girls. My daughter is one of the homeschooled girls.  My daughter is generally a nice kid, no problems with people, friendly, has a job etc.  Total normal teen.  Nothing that would cause any attention to her. She is quiet and goes there to dance, which she is planning on majoring in.  

Every rehearsal, the girls are just plain rude.   They make comments to my daughter and a few other girls.  I'm sure they talk about her when she isn't there.  They constantly talk about other girls so it't not a stretch to assume that they talk about us too.  I think they are mean girling.  TThey are also super nasty to their mothers too during competitions etc. 

 The instructor does nothing about it.  On some occasions, the instructor joins in when the "cool girls" talk about other girls on the team. I have said nothing because I'm pretty hands off on these things. I let my kids handle their own stuff.  

Shouldn't the instructor shut this behavior down immediately?  I cannot imagine an instructor hearing this crap during a rehearsal while the girls are on the floor and doing nothing.  Am I wrong?  Is this how things are done?  Do I have unreasonable expectations? 

Someone give me a reality check! 

 :) 

[BitterApple]

Marigold, it's beyond unprofessional for the damn instructor to be engaging in gossip and allowing mean girl behavior. My mother coached and taught youth sports for twenty years at the YMCA and she wouldn't have tolerated that shit for a second. 

[ginger90]

4 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Way off topic...

Can I get some objective opinions on this situation?

My teen daughter is a dancer and dances with a studio.  She has danced there for many years.  All the girls are pretty decent kids and their moms are all OK, so not a bunch of horrible people.  The girls are a mix of public school, Catholic school and two homeschooled girls. My daughter is one of the homeschooled girls.  My daughter is generally a nice kid, no problems with people, friendly, has a job etc.  Total normal teen.  Nothing that would cause any attention to her. She is quiet and goes there to dance, which she is planning on majoring in.  

Every rehearsal, the girls are just plain rude.   They make comments to my daughter and a few other girls.  I'm sure they talk about her when she isn't there.  They constantly talk about other girls so it't not a stretch to assume that they talk about us too.  I think they are mean girling.  TThey are also super nasty to their mothers too during competitions etc. 

 The instructor does nothing about it.  On some occasions, the instructor joins in when the "cool girls" talk about other girls on the team. I have said nothing because I'm pretty hands off on these things. I let my kids handle their own stuff.  

Shouldn't the instructor shut this behavior down immediately?  I cannot imagine an instructor hearing this crap during a rehearsal while the girls are on the floor and doing nothing.  Am I wrong?  Is this how things are done?  Do I have unreasonable expectations? 

Someone give me a reality check! 

 :) 

Where are the other parents when this is happening?

The instructor taking part in this is just so very wrong. Yes, she should shut it down, and shut up herself.

[Marigold]

Parents either drop the girls off and do stuff or sit in the waiting area where they can't hear what's going on. 

The instructor has mean girled her own students. the students are also rude to the instructor.  To me, this is just wrong.  Unprofessional and boundary issues.  However, maybe I'm way off in expectations?  

(i'm trying to give the most objective information possible so please, if you want, ask me anything. I truly am lost here on what to do and what to think)

[ginger90]

3 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Parents either drop the girls off and do stuff or sit in the waiting area where they can't hear what's going on. 

The instructor has mean girled her own students. the students are also rude to the instructor.  To me, this is just wrong.  Unprofessional and boundary issues.  However, maybe I'm way off in expectations?  

(i'm trying to give the most objective information possible so please, if you want, ask me anything. I truly am lost here on what to do and what to think)

Does the instructor own the studio, or is there a higher up? If she owns it and you feel you can approach her, I would. If not, I would find another place. 

If she has someone above her, I would discuss it with them.

How does your daughter feel about going there?

[emma675]

Is the instructor young (close-ish in age to the students)? That's the only reason I could think why she might be engaging in the same behavior (not that it's right). Is there someone above her you could speak to or one of the other moms?

I hate that mean girl crap and the instructor should be shutting that down immediately.

[Sew Sumi]

I agree with @ginger90. Find her boss, or have it out with her personally. If attitudes don't change, as much as it would suck for your daughter in the short run, find another studio. 

[lookeyloo]

Wow @Marigold - I've been to my granddaughter' s dance studio (where she takes dance not that she owns it) and the owner has a very nice way about her which translates down to the instructors at least all that I have seen. I have sat in on the practices and rehearsals. Since I am the visiting grandma I sit inside, not in the parent's room. I've seen the owner talk to a few girls at a competition when they were rolling their eyes at something about appropriate behavior and being kind. I don't know any other experience except this one but I guess your situation doesn't sound good and if it were me I would ask the owner if she was aware because she can't be everywhere. Good luck with it. 

[Love2dance]

It’s my experience that mean girl behavior is everywhere, if tolerated by the adults in charge. This includes classrooms, sports fields, school clubs, etc. And the girls are very good at hiding it. It is heartbreaking, and can define a girl’s teen years. Hopefully, in this no-bullying climate, there will be less of it, but as @Marigold has shown us, it is still here. It is up to the adults to nip it in the bud and try to build empathy, caring, and cohesion in the group. The dance teacher should be made to help each student feel safe within her class. 

[Celia Rubenstein]

How does your daughter feel about what is going on, Marigold? Has she complained to you or (even worse) have you seen her hurt but she doesn't want to talk about it? Is there any chance she simply doesn't care and values attending the school so much it's worth letting her stay? 

I'd take her feelings into consideration, but of course as the mom it is really your decision after weighing all the pros and cons.  Good luck to you!

[AUgirl]

Good luck. If it keeps up you may want to change studios. I had to change my daughter’s baton coach because it had gotten to be a toxic relationship. I don’t mind criticism but when it’s personal and my poor child was hyperventilating before a lesson because she was so stressed something had to give. 

It wasn’t easy to do so because my daughter had been with her a long time and hated change. I was the one who forced the issue and thankfully she’s with a coach she loves now. 

[magpye29]

I work in a school and I coach four clubs, two at my school and two for my daughter's school.  I would shut that behavior down in a heartbeat.  I DO shut that behavior down.  It's so unprofessional to allow that to go on.  I demand that my kids show respect to the adults they encounter, and I also expect them to answer adults by name, i.e. Yes Mrs. magpye and no Mrs. magpye.  (I know it probably seems weird that I have this awkward relationship with my daughter now, but it wasn't like this when she was growing up.)  I would talk to the coach and work my way up the chain of command if she's not the top dog.  If I didn't get a satisfactory resolution, I would pull my kid from the group and find a new coach, and I would leave explicit negative feedback on every site I could find, including Angie's list and the group website.  Perhaps other parents are not aware of what is going on or have complained with no results or don't see the bullying as a problem, but I would be very vocal in my disapproval.  Believe it or not, I actually have a reputation for being quite outspoken.  It's just when it comes to my daughter (and my future ex-husband) that I have trouble speaking up.

[zenme]

magpye29, I think I get you wrt your daughter. Like you, we've been close all her life, although for a couple of years during her teens I was her enemy (in her eyes). She now acknowledges that mama was right, and now that she has a baby girl of her own, she understands even more. She's not like my son. I can tell him anything--to help him, but suggest anything to her and she gets upset, so like you, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and can't be as honest as I'd like. I hate it. So I take my husband's advice and keep my mouth shut. She's 26 now, and she feels she has all the answers. If she asks, I offer advice. If not, I grin and bear it. This is just her personality.  I think I've spoiled her too much in her youth and made life so easy for her...I guess I created a monster. She's a good mom, and a good person who cares about the world and the people in it, so at least she's only a "pistol" with me...Still, it hurts. I know she loves me, she tells me all the time. Just grin and bear it, magpye29, and know you're not alone. 

[ginger90]

I think sometimes kids, no matter their age, have someone they feel they can safely be contrary with. The person they choose is one that they know will always be there regardless. Sucks in the moment, though.

[Jynnan tonnix]

7 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I think sometimes kids, no matter their age, have someone they feel they can safely be contrary with. The person they choose is one that they know will always be there regardless. Sucks in the moment, though.

This is so true. My kids are all contrary with me to varying degrees. They all inherited their dad's tendency toward getting easily miffed over trifles, and I was always pretty much the one who got unloaded on, as no one really messes with Mr Jyn. 

[amitville]

On 12/24/2017 at 1:16 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

Thank you all for your prayers/love and light/good vibes as I work towards my recovery. It’s been a crummy year for many of us, be it our health, work, natural disasters, loss of loved ones, etc.  I’m moving around a lot more, and it looks like I will have 2 more Avastin treatments before my next scan, which would be mid February.  I’m free of any pain medication, other than the gabapentin for my neuropathy, but no more opioids for pain  management since early November.

i wish you all a safe, joyful, and peaceful holiday season and a better 2018 for all of us. 

Thank you for including us on your journey.  Wishing you a Happy Healthy New Year  Full frontal Hugs to You and all the wonderful poster on this board.  Xoxoxo

[Marigold]

17 hours ago, emma675 said:

Is the instructor young (close-ish in age to the students)? That's the only reason I could think why she might be engaging in the same behavior (not that it's right). Is there someone above her you could speak to or one of the other moms?

I hate that mean girl crap and the instructor should be shutting that down immediately.

The instructor is 50 and it is her studio.  

 

10 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

How does your daughter feel about what is going on, Marigold? Has she complained to you or (even worse) have you seen her hurt but she doesn't want to talk about it? Is there any chance she simply doesn't care and values attending the school so much it's worth letting her stay? 

I'd take her feelings into consideration, but of course as the mom it is really your decision after weighing all the pros and cons.  Good luck to you!

My daughter is very unhappy. She complains constantly about the other girls. I do think my daughter is sensitive but on the other hand, girls shouldn't be snide on the dance floor. i think there should be no talking at all, let alone snide comments.  Basically, shut up and dance.  :)

My fear is that we cut ties with this studio (I have a large family so i have to pull out all my girls) and move to another studio AND it happens there! I suspect this mean girl crap is all over but what I don't understand is why the adults don't shut it down?????  And WHY would an instructor laugh at other students when they are not around?  My daughter hates to miss class because she is afraid of getting shredding when she is not there.  I have no idea what they can even say because my daughter is quiet and a normal kid...I know, i know, they always find something to pick on. 

 

This is not normal, right?  I'm not crazy, right? 

It bugs the shit outta me that I pay a lot of money for dance and I'm getting nothing but headaches with this lately.  The other moms are decent people too. Very caring people.  I suspect they have no clue or this is acceptable in teen world and my expectations are too high? 

 

Thanks for the feedback.  :)

[bythelake]

1 hour ago, ginger90 said:

I think sometimes kids, no matter their age, have someone they feel they can safely be contrary with. The person they choose is one that they know will always be there regardless. Sucks in the moment, though.

This is very true.  I've shared that I moved in with my son who became custodial parent of 2 his children when they were 12 and 13 yrs. of age. His divorce was contentious and for a while they only had weekly supervised visits with their mother. It was very difficult for them, and we put them both in therapy. My grandson  was sad and depressed, but my granddaughter was angry, and started lashing out at me. Oh boy, she was terrible.  The therapist told me she did that because she felt comfortable with me. Lucky me. 
It's been almost 6 years, they are both in college, and my granddaughter and I are now very close. She definitely has her own mind and is headstrong, but she's learning the art of discussing rather than arguing.

[emma675]

Marigold, I would ask some of the other moms if they've noticed what you've witnessed. If they say no or just don't care, I would approach the instructor. After that, if nothing has changed, I would leave. Why pay this place to cause you and your daughter stress? 

[Tabbygirl521]

22 hours ago, magpye29 said:

I'm sitting here being a big baby and crying because she cut me out of going to the follow-up dress appointment today and isn't returning the call or text I sent her about something completely unrelated.  

I am so sorry! I would cry, too! 

[Tabbygirl521]

1 hour ago, Marigold said:

The instructor is 50 and it is her studio.  

 

My daughter is very unhappy. She complains constantly about the other girls. I do think my daughter is sensitive but on the other hand, girls shouldn't be snide on the dance floor. i think there should be no talking at all, let alone snide comments.  Basically, shut up and dance.  :)

My fear is that we cut ties with this studio (I have a large family so i have to pull out all my girls) and move to another studio AND it happens there! I suspect this mean girl crap is all over but what I don't understand is why the adults don't shut it down?????  And WHY would an instructor laugh at other students when they are not around?  My daughter hates to miss class because she is afraid of getting shredding when she is not there.  I have no idea what they can even say because my daughter is quiet and a normal kid...I know, i know, they always find something to pick on. 

 

This is not normal, right?  I'm not crazy, right? 

It bugs the shit outta me that I pay a lot of money for dance and I'm getting nothing but headaches with this lately.  The other moms are decent people too. Very caring people.  I suspect they have no clue or this is acceptable in teen world and my expectations are too high? 

 

Thanks for the feedback.  :)

I would definitely tip off the other parents. I hope they would be appalled at their daughters' behavior. Then perhaps you can approach the instructor en masse and voice your expectations. If you don't get satisfaction, perhaps you could all threaten to walk. This is nasty stuff. Bad for your daughter but also bad for the offenders' ethical development. 

[magpye29]

I love you guys!  That is all.  And it's everything!

[lascuba]

On 12/29/2017 at 11:55 AM, Marigold said:

The instructor is 50 and it is her studio.  

 

My daughter is very unhappy. She complains constantly about the other girls. I do think my daughter is sensitive but on the other hand, girls shouldn't be snide on the dance floor. i think there should be no talking at all, let alone snide comments.  Basically, shut up and dance.  :)

My fear is that we cut ties with this studio (I have a large family so i have to pull out all my girls) and move to another studio AND it happens there! I suspect this mean girl crap is all over but what I don't understand is why the adults don't shut it down?????  And WHY would an instructor laugh at other students when they are not around?  My daughter hates to miss class because she is afraid of getting shredding when she is not there.  I have no idea what they can even say because my daughter is quiet and a normal kid...I know, i know, they always find something to pick on. 

 

This is not normal, right?  I'm not crazy, right? 

It bugs the shit outta me that I pay a lot of money for dance and I'm getting nothing but headaches with this lately.  The other moms are decent people too. Very caring people.  I suspect they have no clue or this is acceptable in teen world and my expectations are too high? 

 

Thanks for the feedback.  :)

I had a teacher in highschool who was sort of like this. I don't recall her laughing at other students, but she definitely liked talking to the "popular" girls (this was an all girls Catholic school and my graduating class had like 50 students...the whole popularity thing really wasn't a thing like it apparently is in larger schools), she liked being in on any gossip, things like that. Honestly? Looking back on it I think it was an inferiority complex from not being one of the "cool" kids growing up so she was getting a thrill from talking and and superficially bonding with who she thought of as the cool kids.

[MunichNark]

I hope you all had a decent Christmas time. I'm glad it's over personally.

So roll on 2018 - I wish you all a good year, with minimum pain, upsets and what nots. May it be good and safe and happy for all of us.