Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Jellybeans]

I love the updates. And thank you for the update on "kangaroo care". I suspected it was just as you described (due to the name) but was not sure. So sweet! Gives bonding time and makes Miss Maisie feel the same *bliss* you do!

So happy!

[Westiepeach]

I am just so happy about Our Maisie! So many of us love her. I *think* I can speak for all of us to say we LOVE her updates! :)

 

[wanderwoman]

Miss Maisie is now a resident of the step up NICU. Her weight is 4 lbs, 9oz. That's a whole pound, plus more than birth and only 7oz from the "go home weight". Although, she may make weight before she's ready (with breathing/eating/weakness) to go home. They weren't planning to move her today, but there's a lady upstairs who is in labor with 27 week triplets and they needed the space. It came down to moving two babies out the critical NICU to the step-up and Maisie's primary doctor thought she could handle it. We're now on a two nurses per baby unit. I'm tempted to be nervous but I have to believe we're in good hands.

The OT did some suck/swallow evaluations today and Maisie did great until we put breast milk in the nipple and she got sort of greedy. The OT had us doing this weird thing where we feed her almost totally upright on our lap and with the bottle angled so that there's more air than liquid in the nipple. I'm very torn because I wanted to nurse her and I'm not sure if this manner/position for feeding is going to be how we have to do it from now on or if she'll eventually be coordinated enough to nurse. I meant to ask our nurse and forgot. I need to start keeping a little notebook with me so i can write things down.

DH thinks it's important to note that she entered the step up unit wearing a House Stark onesie. Lol. Oh, I love this man, but he's really going to make this little one hate Game of Thrones when she looks at her baby book.

Edited February 25, 2015 by wanderwoman

[Absolom]

That sitting up almost straight is how they teach bottle feeding all babies a lot of places these days.  We tried it a little a couple of years ago with the relative's new baby.  It didn't last very long for us and he had no problem switching back and forth from that to nursing.  He wasn't a preemie though.  It's awkward to hold a larger infant for very long in that position especially if you have small hands.  It's supposed to help them keep from choking I guess.  Hopefully she'll master feeding quickly and you can go to all nursing. :)

[P2C2E]

Yay! I'm so excited for Maisie's progress! I'm sure she will continue to do splendidly in the step-up NICU. My baby sister is in her first year of nursing school and we went to lunch today and she mentioned NICU as one of the specialties she's interested in.  She really wants to be able to work closely with patients and their families. She said she's being taught, "you are not taking care of the patient, you're taking care of the whole family". 

[phoenix62]

Thank you for the explaination of 'kangaroo care'. I was thinking it meant something like that, but wasn't sure. I'm glad Maisie is getting stronger and is closer to going home

[GEML]

Think about the "football hold" for breastfeeding. It's very similar to the straight up feeding position, and I actually found it more comfortable than the traditional one. I used a pillow on each side and I left a whole hand free! I did both positions as neded, but I liked knowing I could actually have some physical freedom after awhile, so it's not a bad hold to know.

[Catlyn]

So glad Maisie is doing well!  Yes, do keep a notebook handy. I've had friends and their relatives in the hospital for various reasons, and they always said anytime they were being seen for anything long-term, they'd keep a notebook handy just in case. Something will come up and the doctors not there or a thought pops into their head.

 

Kangaroo care seems like Maisie is just continuing doing what she would be doing if she were still in your uterus. Listening to your heart, your breathing. Getting your bacteria...It makes sense.  :)  Here's to Maisie continuing to thrive and grow, may she continue to do so way into adulthood in the ways the Duggars could never imagine!

[amitville]

Miss Maisie is now a resident of the step up NICU. Her weight is 4 lbs, 9oz. That's a whole pound, plus more than birth and only 7oz from the "go home weight". Although, she may make weight before she's ready (with breathing/eating/weakness) to go home. They weren't planning to move her today, but there's a lady upstairs who is in labor with 27 week triplets and they needed the space. It came down to moving two babies out the critical NICU to the step-up and Maisie's primary doctor thought she could handle it. We're now on a two nurses per baby unit. I'm tempted to be nervous but I have to believe we're in good hands.

The OT did some suck/swallow evaluations today and Maisie did great until we put breast milk in the nipple and she got sort of greedy. The OT had us doing this weird thing where we feed her almost totally upright on our lap and with the bottle angled so that there's more air than liquid in the nipple. I'm very torn because I wanted to nurse her and I'm not sure if this manner/position for feeding is going to be how we have to do it from now on or if she'll eventually be coordinated enough to nurse. I meant to ask our nurse and forgot. I need to start keeping a little notebook with me so i can write things down.

DH thinks it's important to note that she entered the step up unit wearing a House Stark onesie. Lol. Oh, I love this man, but he's really going to make this little one hate Game of Thrones when she looks at her baby book.

Thank you for posting our Maisie progress , sometimes i can not wait to get here to read her updates. 

[Barb23]

Great news about Maisie. I laughed when you said she will look back at all the Games of Thrones references in her baby book & probably make her hate it. I can picture her as a teenager saying to you "OMG, did Dad really do that or say that to the nurse?" We kept the main section of our newspaper from the day my son was born & it's funny to look at it now (25 yrs later) to see what was in the news then.

[Mrsjumbo]

I'm loving the Maisie updates. Grow baby, grow! She's doing great!

I did kangaroo care with my 2nd twin, for a day. So sweet! (He's now 14, & taller than me, lol!).

[Jellybeans]

Fabulous! Love the updates. I become giddy when a new Miss Maisie post appears. You two are doing great! I mean, the three of you. Always important to include Daddy! :-)

[Rhondinella]

GEML and betweenyouandme (and anyone else)--please take the religion discussion to the religion thread and leave it there, OK?  Thank you.  I'm going to move the last few posts there.  

 

I will also be watching to make sure everyone plays nicely.  You can disagree, and you two obviously have great differences of belief on these topics, but we do need to keep it respectful.  Not saying you're not right now, but these things have a way of escalating.  

[wanderwoman]

Miss Maisie had another good day. She reacted well to the move and we actually got to keep one of her nurses from the other NICU. Today was fairly uneventful. The only odd thing was that hubby went back to work. It's strange not having him here after his FMLA. But, he's doing what he loves and I think getting back to normal will be good for him. Besides, if I'm going to stay home with Maisie for a year, which is our current plan, he has to go back to work sooner rather than later. The coffers were getting thin. Thankfully, we have great insurance and they've been amazing. I don't know how some people do it.

Maisie tried nutritive nursing today but I couldn't get the hold down and it was a mommy failure. The lactation specialist is going to start coming by daily to help. We will get there.

I haven't really talked about losing Twin A, until today. Sometimes, and I terrible for saying it, I momentarily forget about him. Then, there will be a moment where it all comes crashing back down. Today's breakdown was sparked by our delightful nurses comment that the football hold is popular for twins. And, there it was...all of the pain and empty feelings. It catches you off guard. I'm so unfathomably thankful for Maisie that I feel bad when I feel sad. . I have a beautiful baby girl and she's going to be well. I'm just not sure how I deal with the undealt with grief. I know it will be ok and that I'm lucky to have Maisie. I guess the answer is to just deal with it. But, I miss that potential and I worry that Maisie misses her roommate. Is this weird?

[frenchtoast]

(((HUGS)))wanderwoman. You're a person who's dealing with a lot of emotions, and you're allowed to have joy and grief together. We are amazing beings and we feel lots of different, confusing things, and that just means you're human. There is one thing, though, it's never a failure. EVER. You're a mother who loves her daughter and she knows it. You're both learning the nursing thing, it's never a failure. It's learning. Also, thank goodness for formula, which has allowed so many babies to thrive. The outcome is a happy, healthy baby, and a happy, healthy mom and dad. We have plenty of options, we are not limited to only one choice. You're a great mom and Maisie knows it and feels it. And you're allowed to feel grief for your boy and love and be thankful for Maisie.

[Barb23]

Wanderwoman - glad to hear of Maisie's progress. Regarding your comment about Maisie missing her brother- when my son was in a preschool, the mother of one of his classmates was telling us that her daughter's twin had died in utero. She said at times "Tracy" (the surviving twin) would talk to or make comments about her sister, even before being told what had happened to her. The mom thought it was like the "twin talk" thing that goes on between twins (they know what the other one is thinking or they can somehow sense danger happening to the other. ) She said it consoled her knowing Tracy still had a connection to her twin even tho she wasn't physically here. I find that fascinating & hopefully Maisie will have a special connection to her brother.

[amitville]

Miss Maisie had another good day. She reacted well to the move and we actually got to keep one of her nurses from the other NICU. Today was fairly uneventful. The only odd thing was that hubby went back to work. It's strange not having him here after his FMLA. But, he's doing what he loves and I think getting back to normal will be good for him. Besides, if I'm going to stay home with Maisie for a year, which is our current plan, he has to go back to work sooner rather than later. The coffers were getting thin. Thankfully, we have great insurance and they've been amazing. I don't know how some people do it.

Maisie tried nutritive nursing today but I couldn't get the hold down and it was a mommy failure. The lactation specialist is going to start coming by daily to help. We will get there.

I haven't really talked about losing Twin A, until today. Sometimes, and I terrible for saying it, I momentarily forget about him. Then, there will be a moment where it all comes crashing back down. Today's breakdown was sparked by our delightful nurses comment that the football hold is popular for twins. And, there it was...all of the pain and empty feelings. It catches you off guard. I'm so unfathomably thankful for Maisie that I feel bad when I feel sad. . I have a beautiful baby girl and she's going to be well. I'm just not sure how I deal with the undealt with grief. I know it will be ok and that I'm lucky to have Maisie. I guess the answer is to just deal with it. But, I miss that potential and I worry that Maisie misses her roommate. Is this weird?

I am so happy to read about our baby miss Maisie it just makes my day brighter. .  Please remember there is a entire cyber family standing by you in good and bad times 

[Wellfleet]

(((HUGS)))wanderwoman. You're a person who's dealing with a lot of emotions, and you're allowed to have joy and grief together. We are amazing beings and we feel lots of different, confusing things, and that just means you're human. There is one thing, though, it's never a failure. EVER. You're a mother who loves her daughter and she knows it. You're both learning the nursing thing, it's never a failure. It's learning. Also, thank goodness for formula, which has allowed so many babies to thrive. The outcome is a happy, healthy baby, and a happy, healthy mom and dad. We have plenty of options, we are not limited to only one choice. You're a great mom and Maisie knows it and feels it. And you're allowed to feel grief for your boy and love and be thankful for Maisie.

 

Typing through tears right now... Perfectly-stated, frenchtoast. Perfectly. God bless Maisie, her brother & the whole family. Everyone here too...

[GEML]

If you feel it, it's not weird. No matter what that emotion (or lack of one) might be. Your emotions belong to you.

And pretty much every mother "fails" the first few days of nursing. Some "fail" the first couple of weeks due to any number of reasons. Obviously, the problem is the word, not you!! :)

[Absolom]

Nursing takes time and practice.  Neither you or the baby comes with the exact knowledge of how this works.  You have to work it out together what works for the two of you.  Good luck and it's such progress.

[bigskygirl]

{{{HUGS}}}  You are an amazing mother, and little Maisie gets a lot of her strength from you. Please do not feel bad for not remembering your son. He will always be with you.

[P2C2E]

Grief is at times heartwrenching, comforting, numbing, sporadic, invasive...it's always different. In some ways, it's always there. It may not be a conscious thought, eventually the pangs fade, but I'm not sure it ever goes away. And that's okay. The losses that cause us grief are unfathomable. And yet, we move on...we have to. I'm so happy for you that in the midst of your grief you also have the unfathomable joy of a new life. That is such a gift. Being caught up in the joy over the grief is not a bad thing. And having days where the grief overshadows the joy is not a bad thing either. We are complex beings with complex emotions and all of them stay with us. Don't be afraid to feel that wide spectrum of emotions. It's what makes us who we are. 

[RedheadZombie]

Talk in the Jessa and the religion thread got me thinking about a great book I read.  I'll preface by saying I was baptized (full-immersion) in a Baptist church.  I no longer attend church, I am a Liberal, but I understand Evangelicals (most of the time).

 

So people were commenting about a Facebook post by Jessa, and her proselytizing.  Some find it extreme.  Some find it arrogant.  It brought to mind a scene in The Rapture of Canaan.  The story takes place in a small cult-like Evangelical community.  They're all about fire and brimstone.  One day, they come upon a pile of clothing that they know to be their leaders.  The leader is nowhere to be found.  Convinced that he's been raptured and they've all been left behind to experience the apocalypse, they're screaming and flailing about.  Eventually the leader walks up.  He's naked, old, confused.  He'd simply stripped and wondered off.

 

Although that scene was comical, the book actually portrays the people as well-intentioned and loving.  Young teenagers, bible partners, receive absolutely no sex education, and when the girl becomes pregnant, the boy commits suicide from shame.  It was an Oprah book, and it's worth reading.

[Fuzzysox]

What a gorgeous baby!!!!!!

[questionfear]

First, I am so glad Maisie is doing well!

So we are looking at preschools for my son, and someone suggested we look at Goddard. After we ruled them out when they gave us the pricing (because for what they wanted for 3 half days each week I could hire a fucking full time nanny), I told my wife I was glad we ruled them out because in my head Goddard kept becoming Gothard and the idea of our son being educated by duggars was upsetting.

Now my wife thinks I am slowly losing it. But I knew you would all understand.

[wanderwoman]

I have a similar, dual recognition between Goddard and Gothard. I do a double take whenever up read something about Goddard.

Maisie had another good day. The lactation lady came by today and we made a little progress. Fortunately, she is in the "do what works" camp and didn't give me shit when I said I was getting pretty fed up with nursing. I've been pumping for weeks and, as much as i saw myself breastfeeding for a year, the ideal was interrupted by reality. I'm going to continue pumping for now and work on nursing, but after talking to the LC and your advice, I think it's a stupid thing to worry about all things considered.

Sort of strange, Duggar moment today... I had kind of forgotten about things like, you know, sex and birth control. But, I had my post birth GYN visit today and the nurse was asking me about our future plans for kids. I have to say, I had a momentary flash where I wanted to strangle her for even suggesting another pregnancy. Then, I laughed at the crazy, bonkers notion that Michelle could have even contemplated pregnancy after Josie's birth. I, at least, have youth and an unlikely to repeat issue, unlike Michelle, and I can't even begin to consider another pregnancy. Who the hell would be eager to repeat the stress and worry? Wasn't Michelle gunning for twenty while standing by the NICU warmer? Crazy. I think I will need about three years, minimum, to recover from this ride. lol

[Absolom]

I'm so glad you didn't draw a breast is best no matter what obstacles you're facing type.  I always get upset with them and I have a friend who is one of those consultants. We don't talk about it.  You do what you have to do.  I still wish you well with nursing, but know if it doesn't work out or it turns out not to be what you want, she'll be just fine on formula and a bottle.  

[GEML]

My preemie daughter never did learn to nurse, even though I'd done really well with her older brother. Just to let you know, both are healthy, normal weight, energetic and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference if you saw them as children. I'm very supportive of nursing - it has a lot of very real benefits to both baby and mother, but I was grateful to live in a world where I could feed my daughter easily and without concern for her long term well being.

[Marigold]

so glad your little girl is doing so well

[amitville]

I have a similar, dual recognition between Goddard and Gothard. I do a double take whenever up read something about Goddard.

Maisie had another good day. The lactation lady came by today and we made a little progress. Fortunately, she is in the "do what works" camp and didn't give me shit when I said I was getting pretty fed up with nursing. I've been pumping for weeks and, as much as i saw myself breastfeeding for a year, the ideal was interrupted by reality. I'm going to continue pumping for now and work on nursing, but after talking to the LC and your advice, I think it's a stupid thing to worry about all things considered.

Sort of strange, Duggar moment today... I had kind of forgotten about things like, you know, sex and birth control. But, I had my post birth GYN visit today and the nurse was asking me about our future plans for kids. I have to say, I had a momentary flash where I wanted to strangle her for even suggesting another pregnancy. Then, I laughed at the crazy, bonkers notion that Michelle could have even contemplated pregnancy after Josie's birth. I, at least, have youth and an unlikely to repeat issue, unlike Michelle, and I can't even begin to consider another pregnancy. Who the hell would be eager to repeat the stress and worry? Wasn't Michelle gunning for twenty while standing by the NICU warmer? Crazy. I think I will need about three years, minimum, to recover fromMaisie this ride. lol

My morning just got a little brighter so glad our baby Maisie is doing so well. 

[questionfear]

Wanderwoman, if it helps at all, Mrs QF had a lot of trouble breastfeeding our son, and he was born over his due date! She ended up pumping exclusively for almost 10 months. If you want any tips or thoughts, feel free to PM me and I can pass along some tips.

[wanderwoman]

Thank you, QF. I may take you up on that. Today was frustrating because I get so conscious of holding her so she doesn't choke, that I get too nervous to let down (Tmi, right?) .

We worked on it with the LC today and it's just not happening as naturally as I think it should.

In Miss Maisie news, they took her down to -almost- room air and she held her sats for about two hours. Then, she fell asleep and they dipped again. So, they're talking about doing another brain and lung scan to make sure all is well.

[Betweenyouandme]

I hope all is well.

[wanderwoman]

I hope all is well.

I should've prefaced o finished with, "no one is expecting a bad scan". She's really doing great, all things considered. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she really IS a fighter. She hung in there after the too, too early birth of her twin. She has come through a low birth weight and gained like a champ. She had a pretty severe lung infection and fought through that. She had a brain bleed and only has the slightest affect. She's really doing great. We're very lucky to have a great family and a great team of doctors. You all have allowed me to say things, under a cloak of internet anonymity, that I'm afraid to say to friends and family because I don't want to burden them. So, I'm grateful for everything we have. Hugs to you all.

I hope all is well.

I should've prefaced o finished with, "no one is expecting a bad scan". She's really doing great, all things considered. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she really IS a fighter. She hung in there after the too, too early birth of her twin. She has come through a low birth weight and gained like a champ. She had a pretty severe lung infection and fought through that. She had a brain bleed and only has the slightest affect. She's really doing great. We're very lucky to have a great family and a great team of doctors. You all have allowed me to say things, under a cloak of internet anonymity, that I'm afraid to say to friends and family because I don't want to burden them. So, I'm grateful for everything we have. Hugs to you all.

[Readalot]

I should've prefaced o finished with, "no one is expecting a bad scan". She's really doing great, all things considered. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she really IS a fighter. She hung in there after the too, too early birth of her twin. She has come through a low birth weight and gained like a champ. She had a pretty severe lung infection and fought through that. She had a brain bleed and only has the slightest affect. She's really doing great. We're very lucky to have a great family and a great team of doctors. You all have allowed me to say things, under a cloak of internet anonymity, that I'm afraid to say to friends and family because I don't want to burden them. So, I'm grateful for everything we have. Hugs to all.

please burden us! We are here for you and Maisie 24/7. I'm praying the next scan is unremarkable and there is improvement everyday. And please try to not think twice if your LC can't help. Maisie is still getting great nutrition! My oldest had a cleft palate so no suction abilities and I hardly had any milk. Thank goodness for formula! She is an intelligent amazing teen now.

[jmt111]

I just love strong girls, Wanderwoman. Your baby girl will go far in life!

[amitville]

I should've prefaced o finished with, "no one is expecting a bad scan". She's really doing great, all things considered. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she really IS a fighter. She hung in there after the too, too early birth of her twin. She has come through a low birth weight and gained like a champ. She had a pretty severe lung infection and fought through that. She had a brain bleed and only has the slightest affect. She's really doing great. We're very lucky to have a great family and a great team of doctors. You all have allowed me to say things, under a cloak of internet anonymity, that I'm afraid to say to friends and family because I don't want to burden them. So, I'm grateful for everything we have. Hugs to you all.

I should've prefaced o finished with, "no one is expecting a bad scan". She's really doing great, all things considered. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she really IS a fighter. She hung in there after the too, too early birth of her twin. She has come through a low birth weight and gained like a champ. She had a pretty severe lung infection and fought through that. She had a brain bleed and only has the slightest affect. She's really doing great. We're very lucky to have a great family and a great team of doctors. You all have allowed me to say things, under a cloak of internet anonymity, that I'm afraid to say to friends and family because I don't want to burden them. So, I'm grateful for everything we have. Hugs to you all.

You could never ever burden anyone. I should thank you, reading about our Maisie is the highlight of my day.   

Edited March 4, 2015 by amitville

[bigskygirl]

You are not a burden. I am glad you share Maisie with us.

[Barb23]

I love keeping up with the Maisie News Network (love that BrianJ62). She is a fighter.

[Jellybeans]

Brian, that is perfect- the Maisie News Network!

[amitville]

Praying all is well with Miss Maisie. Instead of CNN (Clinton News Network) I keep up with MNN (Maisie News Network).

I love Maisie News Network it just fits.

[Absolom]

For what it's worth, I could never nurse while being watched and never did well in the hospital with it.  It would not happen.  You may do much better at home if you can keep trying in the hospital.  Of course, if it worries you then it may not be worth the tension.  You have to find your path.  I hope that there is nothing wrong and the dear little one only needs a few more days of maturity to hold her sats while sleeping.  

[fireice13]

I had a friend who had a preemie. Not as early as Maisie but still early enough that she had problems holding her sats. They ended up going home with oxygen that she used while sleeping and in her car seat. Even if she was awake when they put her in the car seat her sats dropped. She was on the oxygen for 6-8 weeks (I can't remember exactly). Everything worked out fine for her.

[amitville]

Thank you for changing our name to small talk Small Talk: Maisie News Network (and Other Info).  I am Honored to be a member .

[Jellybeans]

So happy we have a Maisie to care for!

[maraleia]

Well I thought it was fitting for the thread. You're welcome BTW. It was my pleasure. Glad to hear Maisie is doing better :)

[ChocolateAddict]

Late to the thread but congratulations on your baby girl :) from what you've put up here, it sounds like she is a real fighter!

Also I thought I would throw in my 2 cents.  My brother was born at 32 weeks and spent about 2 months in the hospital before contracting Meningococcal and boomeranged from hospital between hospital for 3 months after that.  He is now totally fine, completely healthy with the only remnant being poor hearing in one ear.  He had to have OT for the first few years as well.  The doctors said that one of the reasons that he improved so much with OT was because the whole family was dedicated to working with him every day, completing the recommended exercises.  

With all your love and dedication, I'm sure that Maisie will have the best possible chance.  Our family friend works in neonatal care and she says that you would be amazed at how much of a difference family support makes. 

Best of luck with your beautiful girl!

[Westiepeach]

This name change makes me SO HAPPY! Go, Maisie, Go!!!

[Sew Sumi]

NEVER a burden! Hell, the board is named for our little fighter now! :) 

[MarysWetBar]

So glad to hear she is doing well. As others have said before me. .don't sweat the nursing too much. Do whatever works best for you. Hugs to you and little one.

Edited March 5, 2015 by MarysWetBar