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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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Just my two cents. It's not ok to prank a kid. There are just to many variables to ensure that the child will not be embarressment so err on the side of caution. I had something very similar happen just a few weeks ago with my 14 year old daughter and her favorite teacher. He did something that singled her out and she started to cry in front of the class, which is soooooo unlike my daughter. She excused herself and called me from the bathroom asking me to come get her which I did. He emailed me later that day so upset and basically wrecked saying he was kidding and thought she would take it in good humor, he admitted that teachers shouldn't have favorites my but she was his favorite and was so distraught to think that he embarrassed her. I replied that it was a perfect storm of fatigue, hormones and perfectionism and not to worry. i think she got over it much faster then he did.

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I feel for teachers. Children, especially teens, are very sensitive. You can think you are dealing with a mature child and you know them well, but..... Child is the operative word. They are very mercurial. One day a joke can roll off their back, the next day it could have them in tears! I worked with teenagers for a time and learned the hard way they are not my peers. No matter how maturely they present themselves, they are still growing and evolving and can be easily bruised by what you may think is just an off hand comment. They scared the shit out of me and I am glad to never have to deal with them in a working environment again.

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I love doctors so much. Now the cardiologist thinks "deconditioning" is the reason for the increase heart rate when I started on the treadmill, and my heart rate decreasing when I keep exercising (heart rate started at 186 and my blood pressure shot up to 225/120 when I started walking on the treadmill.) She suggested regular aerobic activity to improve my overall physical conditioning. The other cardiologist thought I had "supraventricular tachycardia" after my first stress test and echocardiogram. No signs of damage/disease/or blocked coronary arteries (if I had a blocked artery I would have had a heart attack by now.) No idea why this has been going on for two and a half freaking years or started a few months after I started the one medication after the radiation ablation treatment. I am so tired of doctors telling me to exercise or eat better will solve the problem. Does this explain why my allergies act up more since the treatment and I have the chest pressure/pain or sometimes have mild shortage of breath when my allergies kick in. Is the blasted sleep apnea causing this (doctor does not seem to think so.) I was fine before the blasted treatment. Should I just go along with what the doctors are saying and be sick and miserable with chest pain/tachycardia/mild shortage of breath at times with no real answers. Do I go and get a second opinion? What happens when the exercising does not help? GRRR!!!  UGH!!!

Get a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th if need be. We are the experts on our bodies and state of health. Although unusual, many folks go years with wrong diagnoses and treatment. Keep looking until someone starts listening!

Infrequent poster here with a question. Are there any circumstances under which it would be appropriate for a teacher to single a student out for a prank? One in which the other students in the class are in on the joke? Let's say the students are ages 10-12.

I'm going to say flat out wrong. No child at that age should be singled out in a classroom for any reason - smartest, kindest, class clown or whatever. 

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I have a total, complete, irrational phobia of pranks of any sort. I have a hard time even dealing with innocent misunderstandings wherein someone expects one thing and it turns out to be something else. Like movies...I fear, for example, seeing my husband clicking though the channels on TV because there are parodies out there which might look interesting until you find out it's something completely else. I want a clear warning beforehand LOL. I remember being horribly upset when we watched "A Beautiful Mind" because we knew very little about it and he was expecting a story about a brilliant mathematician/code-breaker (which is something that really interests him), and it turned out to be a psychological study about schizophrenic delusions (which not so much). He wasn't upset about it, per se, and it was still a good movie, but my stomach still gets queasy about it years later when I recall it.

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I feel strongly that it is one thing for peers to prank one another but to have a person in authority to either instigate or be a party to any tomfoolery seems extremely inappropriate. A teacher is the "headship" (forgive my Duggerism) in the classroom, not your buddy or bestie. It feels like an abuse of power.

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That's good bigskygirl - it's very smart to get other opinions.  It's your body so only you know how it feels.  

 

I've been a good girl today too - went and helped my mom take out the air conditioner in their dining room window and then put the storm window up for her.  Also straightened out a couple of my dad's visits to the VA, rescheduled a couple of appointments, printed up a couple of blank months off a calendar so she can put it on her fridge to show her what doc what day and where at.  He has a visit on Xmas Eve that I or my husband can take him to, Happy Holidays to Dad!    

 

Everyone I've talked to at the VA has been so nice to me, even with my stumbling questions.  They are wonderful!      

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Got a second opinion from another cardiologist. He agrees with the other cardiologist after looking at the tests results and reports. My attitude is to heck with it. I do not want to take the meds anymore or use the blasted CPAP machine. I could care less nor do I want to see another doctor (except for my eye doctor.) My heart is fine, I am sleeping better, and my blood pressure is okay. Why keep taking meds when they may be making me sick because of side effects. I will try to exercise on a daily basis and eat better. I guess this is my only option now. Nothing else seems to be working.

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I once asked my GP for a referral to a medical specialist who wasn't a weirdo; he said it's impossible, they all are. My parents are currently looking for new cardiologists, their current one seems to be going senile, and medical boards in Australia (being comprised of other practitioners) are far too understanding to the senile Doctor.

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Got a second opinion from another cardiologist. He agrees with the other cardiologist after looking at the tests results and reports. My attitude is to heck with it. I do not want to take the meds anymore or use the blasted CPAP machine. I could care less nor do I want to see another doctor (except for my eye doctor.) My heart is fine, I am sleeping better, and my blood pressure is okay. Why keep taking meds when they may be making me sick because of side effects. I will try to exercise on a daily basis and eat better. I guess this is my only option now. Nothing else seems to be working.

Good luck, BIGSKYGIRL. I hope so much this will work for you. Be sure to check that none of your medications need to be eased off slowly. Many of them can be dangerous if stopped suddenly. ((Hugs)) to you!!

ETA Good job starting your walks and eating better!

Edited by Love2dance
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At least I have good news about my heart (no signs of heart disease/damage or blocked arteries.) I am now wondering if the problem is the thyroid med. It all started after I started taking the blasted med. The sleep specialist thinks the sleep apnea was caused by tissue/muscle damage where my non-functioning thyroid is at due to being hyper and now hypo. So my next step is going back to the one specialist I see for my hypothyroidism. I might go back to the physician assistant to see what the next step should be too. I also found out the sleep specialist from Great Falls had his lease canceled by the local hospital since Medicaid and Medicare does not like the idea of the hospital leasing space to out of town specialists, and patients may not understand who the hospital employed physicians are and who the out of town doctors are. Seriously...Really... I am sick and I know who is a hospital based physician and who is an out of town specialist. I probably will have to travel to Great Falls to see him unless he can find another office to lease. I do not mind the trip, but traveling when sick is not fun.

 

And yes, I was in a bad mood when I said I was going to go off the meds. I will stay on the meds and CPAP machine. Not happy with the way things are going, but I am not going to give up.

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ABSTRACT, ON 30 OCT 2015 - 01:28 AM, SAID:

Infrequent poster here with a question. Are there any circumstances under which it would be appropriate for a teacher to single a student out for a prank? One in which the other students in the class are in on the joke? Let's say the students are ages 10-12.

I have a hard time with the one because it's definitely not something I would do in my own teaching (I work with kids who are just a teeny bit older than that) but, I don't like saying "absolutely never under any circumstances" without knowing something about the teacher, the school, the relationships, the specific prank etc. When it comes to the teacher-student "line", there are certainly some absolute no-nos, obviously (unless you're a Duggar, your school is of the dinning room table and it was over the clothes. ahem) and then there's a whole whack of grey. Personally, I er on the side of professional distance is a good thing, but I will admit, I have pulled the whole April Fools pop quiz joke on a few classes... (the one where the directions say to read to the end before starting and the last question makes it obvious it's not a real quiz). 

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My husband put a fake bug in my shoe on April Fools Day. I thought it was a real bug, and my cat, Ace, thought it was real too and started to attack my shoe and  the fake bug to kill it. I guess he thought he was protecting me.

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At least I have good news about my heart (no signs of heart disease/damage or blocked arteries.) I am now wondering if the problem is the thyroid med. It all started after I started taking the blasted med. The sleep specialist thinks the sleep apnea was caused by tissue/muscle damage where my non-functioning thyroid is at due to being hyper and now hypo. So my next step is going back to the one specialist I see for my hypothyroidism. I might go back to the physician assistant to see what the next step should be too. I also found out the sleep specialist from Great Falls had his lease canceled by the local hospital since Medicaid and Medicare does not like the idea of the hospital leasing space to out of town specialists, and patients may not understand who the hospital employed physicians are and who the out of town doctors are. Seriously...Really... I am sick and I know who is a hospital based physician and who is an out of town specialist. I probably will have to travel to Great Falls to see him unless he can find another office to lease. I do not mind the trip, but traveling when sick is not fun.

 

And yes, I was in a bad mood when I said I was going to go off the meds. I will stay on the meds and CPAP machine. Not happy with the way things are going, but I am not going to give up.

Bigskygirl - I have thyroid issues that are finally being treated correctly. I have followed thyroid advocate Mary Shomon for a long time. She has a lot of good information. If you google her you will find her. After reading her material for a while I knew how to interview doctors. One doctor said "you will have to get used to feeling this way". I left that office in tears. I finally found a doctor who said "your quality of life is important to me and there are a lot of things to try and we will try all of them til we find out what works for you". And he did. Changed my life. So that is my recommendation to you.

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I feel for teachers. Children, especially teens, are very sensitive. You can think you are dealing with a mature child and you know them well, but..... Child is the operative word. They are very mercurial. One day a joke can roll off their back, the next day it could have them in tears! I worked with teenagers for a time and learned the hard way they are not my peers. No matter how maturely they present themselves, they are still growing and evolving and can be easily bruised by what you may think is just an off hand comment. They scared the shit out of me and I am glad to never have to deal with them in a working environment again.

I taught 7th and 8th grade math for many years.  You either have to love the age or be committed to an asylum.  I found them so funny...a mixture of adult and child, navigating their way through life as they demand independence, but also want the comfort of mom and dad (though they'd never admit it).  I found the girls to be much harder on each other than boys.  They could be like piranahs. They would subtly bully each other, shun each other, be best friends one moment and fiercest enemies the next.  Tears were never far from the surface.  Boys were generally easier.  They'd have a physical altercation and then go play basketball together.  I never pranked any of them...too risky even for the ones you were pretty certain could take it.

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I taught 7th and 8th grade math for many years. You either have to love the age or be committed to an asylum. I found them so funny...a mixture of adult and child, navigating their way through life as they demand independence, but also want the comfort of mom and dad (though they'd never admit it). I found the girls to be much harder on each other than boys. They could be like piranahs. They would subtly bully each other, shun each other, be best friends one moment and fiercest enemies the next. Tears were never far from the surface. Boys were generally easier. They'd have a physical altercation and then go play basketball together. I never pranked any of them...too risky even for the ones you were pretty certain could take it.

I assisted with a high school drama class and then worked at a dance school for 20 years. Boys are a dream, girls are a nightmare! Drama! Tears! Gossip! I stayed in my office.

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Bigskygirl - I have thyroid issues that are finally being treated correctly. I have followed thyroid advocate Mary Shomon for a long time. She has a lot of good information. If you google her you will find her. After reading her material for a while I knew how to interview doctors. One doctor said "you will have to get used to feeling this way". I left that office in tears. I finally found a doctor who said "your quality of life is important to me and there are a lot of things to try and we will try all of them til we find out what works for you". And he did. Changed my life. So that is my recommendation to you.

thanks for this info. i myself am hoping for a referral to a thyroid dr next week at my regular primary appt.  i side with the same 'i am tired of feeling awful' mentality and now that i am resonably confident that it is not my heart either, i am going to fight to check out other options until i figure it out. 

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Ok, I give. Uncle! No pranks. Ever. :\

Okay - I KNOW I'm a big old stick in the mud, but I'm a big proponent of no pranks. Ever.

 

I always think of how the prom scene in Carrie started out as a "prank".

 

Even someone with the very, very best of intentions can have what they consider a bit of harmless "fun" turn into something mean, cruel, crushing, or dangerous. I worked with a guy who was one of those "hyuk-hyuk-hyuk" JimBoob types who thought it would be funny to throw a HUGE dead grasshopper on a fellow co-worker's lap. Seriously, it was like the size of a mouse, but with all the legs and antennae, and when it hit her lap she freaked out and upended her recently poured coffee ALL over herself, face included. 

 

Coffee burns on your face and eyelids are rarely funny. 

 

Now I'll get back to yelling at those darn kids to get off my lawn. 

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bigskygirl, don't know if this is any help to you but my husband had a CPAP and was able to get it replaced by a dental appliance that holds his jaw at a better angle and thus opens his airway. The CPAP did not bother him much (though he did not like it) but I could not sleep with all the noise and the exhaust air it blew on me dried out my throat and triggered my asthma. So that might be an option for you if you don't care for the CPAP.

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bigskygirl, if you were closer to Western Washington, I'd send you to my sleep doctor in a hot minute. He's also a pulmonologist. He saved my life. Plus, he's hilarious. And he does not give up until he figures out what's wrong and how to fix it.

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That's good bigskygirl - it's very smart to get other opinions.  It's your body so only you know how it feels.  

 

I've been a good girl today too - went and helped my mom take out the air conditioner in their dining room window and then put the storm window up for her.  Also straightened out a couple of my dad's visits to the VA, rescheduled a couple of appointments, printed up a couple of blank months off a calendar so she can put it on her fridge to show her what doc what day and where at.  He has a visit on Xmas Eve that I or my husband can take him to, Happy Holidays to Dad!    

 

Everyone I've talked to at the VA has been so nice to me, even with my stumbling questions.  They are wonderful!

I'm glad you liked the VA! I retired last year from 31 years working at the VA hospital. I was an X-ray tech.

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Just popping in quickly ... if you have a lot of medical symptoms that don't seem related Google Elher Danlos Syndrome, especally type 3. It's a genetic disorder of faulty collegen. Collegen is the glue that holds your body together. Who would of ever thought my daughters constantly dislocating shoulder and intestinal issues were related? Also look at Dysautonomia, especially POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). And last but not least a Chiari Malformation. Unfortunately our family is up close and personal with all of these. But it answered a ton of medical questions. - ((((hugs to all, especially Jellybeans)))

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I assisted with a high school drama class and then worked at a dance school for 20 years. Boys are a dream, girls are a nightmare! Drama! Tears! Gossip! I stayed in my office.

Theres not enough Xanax in the universe to make me teach middle school. [Apparently, our local middle school has given up on teaching. It's all about discipline with them. The high school is a great school, there is very little actual teaching being done at the middle school.]. Anyway, you can't teach kids that age, really, they already know everything.

When my son was a senior in high school, he talked me into taking him and his best friend to Washington, D.C. I love D.C. I never miss an opportunity to go there. And I stay misty eyed (geek!) the whole time. His birthday is in April, so as a combination graduation/birthday present I said yes. Then they added a friend. And another. So now I found myself going to D.C. with 4 senior boys. I gotta tell you. I've been on many, many youth trips with mixed crowds, and lots more with only girls. Never had taken a trip with all boys. Holy cow!!! The difference is AMAZING!!! We planned out every night what they wanted to do the next day, we got up at 7, they were ALL ready by 7:30. Nobody fought over the bathroom, nobody got pissy and didn't speak, nobody cried. One of them had to sleep in the floor every night, and they "almost" argued over who would do that (arguing in FAVOR of it, both insisting they would do it). They stayed with me or were in constant touch with me. They went exactly where they were supposed to go and came back exactly on time. Mostly, they were content to stay with me. AMAZING!!!!! If I'd been on a trip like that myself at their age (and I WAS, now that I think about it), I would have spent the entire time either doing something I shouldn't, or plotting how to do something I shouldn't. I was shooting myself in the head (virtually) every minute for never having figured that out before. Granted, these were exceptionally well-behaved boys that I known forever - but they never even tested my limits. Even my own kid behaved better around the others. I'm legally past chaperoning youth groups any more (my kids are launched), and honestly I thought their pranks and general goofiness were funny when I did tag along. But if I ever had to do it again, I'd pick boys every time. Bonus: one of them was a neat freak and kept the room picked up all the time. (I recommend having one of those on every trip).

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This picture was posted in the Benessa thread:

 

0a.jpg

 

The Kimye Baby looks just like one of those "hidden Mickeys" from Disneyland!

Does she need a bigger cup size?

It does look like Mickey but I'm sure Disney won't use the image! lol

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I want to see Mickey! Honest!

But if I focus on that pic much more I worry that I'll fry something. My optic nerve or brain or something vital.

I completely forgot about the Remini 20/20 interview. And I love me some Xenu bashing.

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bigskygirl, if you were closer to Western Washington, I'd send you to my sleep doctor in a hot minute. He's also a pulmonologist. He saved my life. Plus, he's hilarious. And he does not give up until he figures out what's wrong and how to fix it.

Thanks for the offer. I like the sleep specialist/pulmonologist. He is professional, I can ask him questions, he explains things well, good sense of humor, and wants to help me get better. I do admit the cardiologist I saw Thursday morning needs to work on her bedside manner, but I am grateful I have a healthy heart.

 

My next step will be contracting the specialist I see for my thyroid and the physician assistant I see for regular medical care to figure out what the heck is going on. I am wondering if I am having a bad reaction to the thyroid med. The symptoms started within a few months after I started taking the med. My allergies have been acting up today, and my nose is bleeding a little. The sleep specialist thinks the sleep apnea was caused by muscle/tissue damage near my thyroid due to being hyper then hypo. I think there has been other medical issues due to my blasted thyroid. I am tired of this, but I have to keep fighting to find out what is going on. I hope there is a right treatment around the corner. Mentally and physically, I am exhausted.

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I feel like I'm living the theme song from Friends and waiting for my life to begin (in my late 30s). Except all my friends are busy living their lives and have time to hang out with single me. I decided today is the first day of the rest of my life and I need to stop waiting on others to do things (travel, have dinner, go out) even though I hate doing things alone. I joined a sports league a couple years ago and it was fun until some Mean Girls (straight outta high school style) took over and I didn't want to deal with their clique drama. I just don't know where to begin. 

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I feel like I'm living the theme song from Friends and waiting for my life to begin (in my late 30s). Except all my friends are busy living their lives and have time to hang out with single me. I decided today is the first day of the rest of my life and I need to stop waiting on others to do things (travel, have dinner, go out) even though I hate doing things alone. I joined a sports league a couple years ago and it was fun until some Mean Girls (straight outta high school style) took over and I didn't want to deal with their clique drama. I just don't know where to begin. 

Oh, I wish there was something I could do or say to help - I really feel for you, as I've been through the very same thing ! I know how tough it is to do things by yourself - I was in my mid-20s before I could eat in public alone, and how pathetic is that ?! 

 

I've made a few discoveries in the last 10 years or so (I'm in my late 40s) that may be of some help...

 

Taking an inexpensive class at a community college can be a great way to meet new people - especially night classes, where people tend to be older, and especially classes where there will be lots of discussion, like literature or film classes. 

 

Volunteer - people who do so tend to be, IMO, more outgoing, social, and easy to talk to. I had to overcome some shyness initially, but made some great friends that way. Bonus points for doing something worthwhile !

 

Open your horizons age wise - this was the best thing I EVER did ! I have quite a few neighbors who are anywhere from 15-25 years older than me, and when I started to talk to them - really talk to them - I made amazing connections ! They're funny, intelligent, articulate, and not just old fogies who want me to get off their lawn ! We see movies, go to lunch, and even hit a bar or two ! They really, truly have something to say, and their unique perspective on the world helped to broaden mine.

 

Just read this today - the timing is so serendipitous ! - so I'll pass it on:  http://finance.yahoo.com/news/psychologists-may-discovered-best-way-200747278.html

 

Hope I'm not coming across as some kind of know-it-all here - really just trying to help. As someone who's definitely been there I'm in your corner, theredhead  :) 

 

PM me if you'd like !

Edited by SomePity1066
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I decided today is the first day of the rest of my life and I need to stop waiting on others to do things (travel, have dinner, go out) even though I hate doing things alone.

 

I go to movies all the time by myself, I love the first showing best.  They are much cheaper, and hardly anyone is there in the theatre.  Even for the bigger films the early show is hardly ever filled, including The Hunger Games series.  Occasionally I see some of the same people show up and we nod and say good morning.  

 

Of course we have tons of candy and it's cold and raining and miserable in the Chicagoland area.  Hope the husband enjoys all the leftover Snickers.   

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I go to movies all the time by myself, I love the first showing best.  They are much cheaper, and hardly anyone is there in the theatre.  Even for the bigger films the early show is hardly ever filled, including The Hunger Games series.  Occasionally I see some of the same people show up and we nod and say good morning

Me too! Popcorn is usually freshly popped. A little treat to myself.

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I feel like I'm living the theme song from Friends and waiting for my life to begin (in my late 30s). Except all my friends are busy living their lives and have time to hang out with single me. I decided today is the first day of the rest of my life and I need to stop waiting on others to do things (travel, have dinner, go out) even though I hate doing things alone. I joined a sports league a couple years ago and it was fun until some Mean Girls (straight outta high school style) took over and I didn't want to deal with their clique drama. I just don't know where to begin.

THE REDHEAD77, I agree with SOMEPITY1066. Joining things is the key. Try Sierra Club Singles, faith based single groups, service groups such as the Lions Club. This worked for me when I found myself suddenly single in my 40's. I still remained friends with my coupled friends, but realized I also needed to expand from the familiar group. And I also agree, friends can come in all ages!

Oh, and unfortunately, mean girls can show up at all ages and places. It is so sad, but true.

Good luck, and hang in there.

Edited by Love2dance
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THE REDHEAD77, I agree with SOMEPITY1066. Joining things is the key. Try Sierra Club Singles, faith based single groups, service groups such as the Lions Club. This worked for me when I found myself suddenly single in my 40's. I still remained friends with my coupled friends, but realized I also needed to expand from the familiar group. And I also agree, friends can come in all ages!

Oh, and unfortunately, mean girls can show up at all ages and places. It is so sad, but true.

Good luck, and hang in there.

And I agree with Love2dance and SomePity1066 too.  In my 30s found myself in same situation except I had two small children.  I did things completely out of my comfort level but stuck with it and made a different new life for myself.  Sometimes I had to just "pretend" I was confident.  After a while it was easier.

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I'm trying not to freak out because my kid is at a Halloween party for the first time, and I am second-guessing myself because it's at a school friend's house, and I've only met the dad a couple of times, and the friend has older siblings, and my mind is going to all kinds of worst-case scenarios.

My only comfort is that my kid is a rule-follower, extremely strong-willed, socially adept, and so far has proven to be absolute Teflon when it comes to peer pressure. Still, I'm counting down till the party's over!

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Did anyone watch Leah Remini on 20/20 last night?

Yes, I watched it. I found it interesting how Leah thought the teachings were bizzaro but she stayed because she always was close to acheiving the next stage. Total pyramid scheme. I couldn't believe all the books she had to buy just to be awarded with a small plaque.I'm still SMH on that one.

I've always been fascinated by cults and how they not only draw people in but keep them in the cult. That's probably why I started watching the Duggars just to quill my curiousity.

Edited by Fuzzysox
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