Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[louannems]

4 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

For those who took the COVID test

do they use one swab for both nostrils or each nostril got its own swab ?

We were swabbed for Covid before we went to Hawaii in October.  They used one swab  for both nostrils.  Three circles clockwise, then three circles counter clockwise. The nurse said they no longer swab way back deep in your head since the virus is just as measurable barely in the nostril.

It was still gross, though, especially since they put the dirty swab into the other nostril.

My test results came back within eight hours.  My husband, who used a different lab, got his results in 36 hours.

[iwantcookies]

29 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

Well I  graduated to a step down unit now I am in progressive unit. For all my friends here I am keeping you all in my prayers.

Mommy Tron

Get well!!!

[Mindthinkr]

34 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

Well I  graduated to a step down unit now I am in progressive unit. For all my friends here I am keeping you all in my prayers.

Mommy Tron

I remember at the beginning of the year when you thought that you were almost ready to go home. I’m sorry you have had so many complications.  At least you are getting better now and progressing. I’ll be praying for you. 

[Scarlett45]

41 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

Well I  graduated to a step down unit now I am in progressive unit. For all my friends here I am keeping you all in my prayers.

Mommy Tron

Get well!

[ChiCricket]

[Scarlett45]

Good morning small talk friends. I am going to be sharing more photos of Cosmo and giving updates on how Blake is handling it, well because its something positive to think about rather than all the feelings I have around my godmother being so sick and my Mom being afraid. Cosmo being here makes it real how ill she is and how bad she feels.

 

Cosmo under my desk while I am working. Blake has been "intrigued, but not traumatized" (thats a my new phrase). He looks at Cosmo from a distance and he has come up to the door to sniff him. Last night Blake spent about 30min in the bathroom and Cosmo got full range of the house to just sniff and get his scent everywhere. After work today we may do some supervised interaction.

I am on vacation next week, I will drive Cosmo to the neighborhood pet boutique and get another bag of Blake's food, treats and a joint supplement for him. We have a lot of stairs here!

[BetyBee]

I'm very sorry for your loss, @Happyfatchick.

[GeeGolly]

18 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

For those who took the COVID test

do they use one swab for both nostrils or each nostril got its own swab ?

Update: 

Okay I’m relieved. I got 1 swab for both nostrils. My throat was not swabbed.

Thanks!

Was this different than you last test?

[iwantcookies]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Was this different than you last test?

No all the COVID tests it was one swab for both nostrils.

[doodlebug]

2 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

No all the COVID tests it was one swab for both nostrils.

I don't understand, then.  Why did you ask what it was like if you already had had it done before?  And why would it matter?  If you need the test, you need the test.

[doodlebug]

On 1/20/2021 at 5:23 PM, zoomama said:

 

and can i say that i really like lady gaga?!!!   

There is a thread on this site where the non-political aspects of yesterday's events are being discussed.  I love Lady Gaga, her voice is just so special.  I've seen her in concert and highly recommend the experience.

ETA: sorry, it looks like the thread has been removed.

 

Edited January 22, 2021 by doodlebug
I didn't see the notice when I first posted

[jcbrown]

On 1/20/2021 at 12:53 PM, Ohiopirate02 said:

Yours never felt the need to sing the song of their people at 6am????  

I had a black kitty named Ariel who was the quietest, most easygoing guy most of the time. And he loved to step into the stairwell to the second floor by the bedrooms at about three AM and SING his heart out. Now I have a black kitty named Lucy who reminds me of Rita Moreno's character on the Electric Company a good bit of the time.  It's surprising, the amount of noise an ~11-pound kitty can make.

 

Edited January 22, 2021 by jcbrown

[jcbrown]

@Happyfatchick, I am so very sorry for you and your family's loss.

@Rabbittron, thanks for checking in. When I got up this morning, I remembered that we had not heard from you in a while and wondered how you were doing.

[Scarlett45]

This evening after I took Cosmo out I let Blake and Cosmo have some supervised interaction during my workout. Blake was fine- kept his spot on the sofa, and I told Cosmo to “stay” at  the living room entry way, and they just looked at each other. 
 

So far so good. 

[emma675]

Scarlett45, we're definitely going to need pictures of Blake and Cosmo interacting, if they get to that point! I love dogs and kitties together (when they aren't trying to kill each other, that is). 

[iwantcookies]

I am getting 

gateway error a lot trying to enter the site

just me?

[Scarlett45]

17 minutes ago, emma675 said:

Scarlett45, we're definitely going to need pictures of Blake and Cosmo interacting, if they get to that point! I love dogs and kitties together (when they aren't trying to kill each other, that is). 

I will take photos! Right now it’s lots of looking but not close enough to be in the frame.

[DangerousMinds]

5 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I will take photos! Right now it’s lots of looking but not close enough to be in the frame.

You’re lucky! When my brother visits with his (smallish) dogs, my cat immediately gets terrified and runs to safety. 

[emmawoodhouse]

18 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I am getting 

gateway error a lot trying to enter the site

just me?

Me too. Site is buggy.

[Suzn]

56 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

This evening after I took Cosmo out I let Blake and Cosmo have some supervised interaction during my workout. Blake was fine- kept his spot on the sofa, and I told Cosmo to “stay” at  the living room entry way, and they just looked at each other. 
 

So far so good. 

I love this story.  You are going about this well, slowly letting them get used to each other.

[Scarlett45]

11 hours ago, Suzn said:

I love this story.  You are going about this well, slowly letting them get used to each other.

Why thank you! Blake is 15 and I’m not trying to stress him out, and I want Cosmo to be happy too. 
 

[Mindthinkr]

13 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I am getting 

gateway error a lot trying to enter the site

just me?

No, I have been having trouble for days. If it isn’t the Gateway time out it’s the “There’s trouble reacting to this post”. It means I can’t use emojis and everything is very slow to show up. I don’t have this issue in other areas so it has to be a PTV problem. It’s really making me practice my patience. 

[Minivanessa]

24 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

No, I have been having trouble for days. If it isn’t the Gateway time out it’s the “There’s trouble reacting to this post”. It means I can’t use emojis and everything is very slow to show up. I don’t have this issue in other areas so it has to be a PTV problem. It’s really making me practice my patience. 

Same here. And sometimes when it's not down completely, this site so slooowwww . . . urgh.

[CalicoKitty]

I have noticed my computer is much slower on this site.  This has been happening for the past couple of days.

[Scarlett45]

Tales of life with Cosmo-

I admit being a vegetarian I am not used to my cats wanting my food unless its ice cream or has sour cream on it. Guess who swiped some of my baked potato with broccoli and cheese? I came back in my office and he was licking his lips and I said "what did you eat?" (I initially thought it was more makeup cotton rounds), but then I saw my plate. 

 

It was 100% my fault as I left the food on the table to go back to the kitchen and get more ice water. I dont want to give him human food because I don't want to create bad habits or upset his stomach.

[QuinnInND]

20 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I am getting 

gateway error a lot trying to enter the site

just me?

Glad it not just me. 

[DangerousMinds]

Same. Getting the error a lot today.

[Scarlett45]

Intrigued but not traumatized. BEHOLD! (I’m cleaning my kitchen now. Ignore the garbage can)

[dargosmydaddy]

LOL, that face!

[Oldernowiser]

My cats and dogs have always gotten along fine...the cats did believe that dog hygiene wasn’t up to standards and therefore they needed to have their faces washed for them, but everyone was gracious about it. Blake may ultimately enjoy the companionship.

You’re doing a great job with this and it must be such a comfort to Cosmo’s mom. As always, you’re that Extra Mile Woman. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
 

[ChiCricket]

My family update (skip if not interested)

Welp..I gave my 3 remaining sisters 23andme DNA kits for Christmas...

And my sister Alison's results just arrived...

And she is my ½ sister!!

WTHeck was my mom DOING back in the day?! 😭

I'm so traumatized right now..I just got used to one of my brothers having a different dad! (And it looks like my ½ brother's Dad is not my ½ sister's dad!!!!!!)

My head is spinning! Looks like my "prim and proper" mother...wasn't😂

Edited January 23, 2021 by ChiCricket

[Scarlett45]

36 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

My family update (skip if not interested)

Welp..I gave my 3 remaining sisters 23andme DNA kits for Christmas...

And my sister Alison's results just arrived...

And she is my ½ sister!!

WTHeck was my mom DOING back in the day?! 😭

I'm so traumatized right now..I just got used to one of my brothers having a different dad! (And it looks like my ½ brother's Dad is not my ½ sister's dad!!!!!!)

My head is spinning! Looks like my "prim and proper" mother...wasn't😂

I can imagine that’s a shock! What does your sister think of this revelation? Where does your sister fall in the birth order?
 

I just hope your sister was conceived via consent and it wasn’t a rape or abuse situation (which is what I think of as a possibility if a woman refuses to ever identify the father of her baby).

 

I know a woman, her mother was contacted by a woman who was placed for adoption looking for bio family. The mom and her two sisters all took DNA tests- well it turns out the adoptee was their sister, half sister to the older 2 of the trio and FULL sister to my friend’s mom. Seems the mom had a thing with the guy, placed the baby for adoption, met and married her husband, had two kids, had an affair with the same guy (she died married to her husband) and conceived another baby. Likely she didn’t know who was the father of her last pregnancy.

 

They were all supposed to meet last year but- COVID. 
 

The Mom’s BFF may be the only person who knows who bio Dad was but has advanced dementia now (Mom & husband are deceased). 

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, ChiCricket said:

My family update (skip if not interested)

Welp..I gave my 3 remaining sisters 23andme DNA kits for Christmas...

And my sister Alison's results just arrived...

And she is my ½ sister!!

WTHeck was my mom DOING back in the day?! 😭

I'm so traumatized right now..I just got used to one of my brothers having a different dad! (And it looks like my ½ brother's Dad is not my ½ sister's dad!!!!!!)

My head is spinning! Looks like my "prim and proper" mother...wasn't😂

What a soap opera!  I know a couple other people who did 23 and Me and had some skeletons fall out of the family closet; it probably happens more than we realize.  I think that back in the day when 'good' girls were supposed to wait for marriage, when divorce was uncommon and when paternity testing wasn't widely available; this sort of thing happened a lot and nobody was the wiser.  The other people I know discovered half sibs that they never knew existed.  In one case. a teen marriage ended in divorce with a baby given for adoption.  In the other, the person's father strayed and no one in the family suspected it until the DNA results showed a match decades later.  In both cases, the involved parent was dead and there wasn't anyone still living who knew the details and/or wanted to share.

Edited January 23, 2021 by doodlebug

[Oldernowiser]

1 hour ago, ChiCricket said:

My family update (skip if not interested)

Welp..I gave my 3 remaining sisters 23andme DNA kits for Christmas...

And my sister Alison's results just arrived...

And she is my ½ sister!!

WTHeck was my mom DOING back in the day?! 😭

I'm so traumatized right now..I just got used to one of my brothers having a different dad! (And it looks like my ½ brother's Dad is not my ½ sister's dad!!!!!!)

My head is spinning! Looks like my "prim and proper" mother...wasn't😂

Aw, honey. Family is a state of mind, yes? You love who you love, and as for what was going on then, who knows? There are a zillion scenarios in which this happened that have nothing to do with the concept of “fault.” 
You love your sister, right? The rest is immaterial.

 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

What a soap opera!  I know a couple other people who did 23 and Me and had some skeletons fall out of the family closet; it probably happens more than we realize.  I think that back in the day when 'good' girls were supposed to wait for marriage, when divorce was uncommon and when paternity testing wasn't widely available; this sort of thing happened a lot and nobody was the wiser.  The other people I know discovered half sibs that they never knew existed.  In one case. a teen marriage ended in divorce with a baby given for adoption.  In the other, the person's father strayed and no one in the family suspected it until the DNA results showed a match decades later.  In both cases, the involved parent was dead and there wasn't anyone still living who knew the details and/or wanted to share.

Yeah, people used to keep a LOT of secrets. Now there’s no point with the internet, camera phones, and being able to sit into a tube and know who your bio parents are. These days you might as well just tell it because someone will produce DNA and photo evidence eventually! 
 

I tell everyone- if you need my DNA I am game. 

[CalicoKitty]

A friend's brother was the genealogist of the family.  Hours of research over many years.  Then he did the Ancestry test.  Turns out he is not biologically related to his family.  Both parents are dead, and he has no idea who his birth family is.  Unfortunately, he and my friend hardly speak, so he really has no family.  It was quite a shock.

[emmawoodhouse]

34 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

A friend's brother was the genealogist of the family.  Hours of research over many years.  Then he did the Ancestry test.  Turns out he is not biologically related to his family.  Both parents are dead, and he has no idea who his birth family is.  Unfortunately, he and my friend hardly speak, so he really has no family.  It was quite a shock.

Someone from his birth family will certainly show up as a cousin or even a sibling! I was adopted and actually found my father via Ancestry. Sadly, he was murdered when I was 4, but I have "met" some of his relatives. He was easy because of his ethnicity. My bio mother is much tougher because she's a Euromutt. But I've had a couple first cousin hits from her side. No one has responded to my attempts to reach out. That's okay. I'm fine either way.

Edited January 23, 2021 by emmawoodhouse
Hos? Really, autocorrect?

[CalicoKitty]

1 minute ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Someone from hos birth family will certainly show up as a cousin or even a sibling! I was adopted and actually found my father via Ancestry. Sadly, he was murdered when I was 4, but I have "met" some of his relatives. He was easy because of his ethnicity. My bio mother is much tougher because she's a Euromutt. But I've had a,couple first cousin hits from her side. No one has responded to my attempts to reach out. That's okay. I'm fine either way.

I think you are right.  There are ways now to search that were not available years ago.  I have a good handle on my father's family, but I'm stuck on my mother's side.  So many church records were lost during WWII.  I have had no luck finding anyone so far.  I have not heard if my friend's brother has had any luck.

[CherryMalotte]

Are we better off sometimes not knowing?  I think that DNA testing for crimes and genetics for diseases are a good thing - Golden State Killer right?  But sometimes...I'm not sure I want to know more than what I do as far as family goes.  It just comes down to what you are comfortable with I guess.       

[Zella]

I love doing genealogy--one of my goals for the year is to return to it--but I have several reasons for avoiding the DNA tests, some more paranoid than others. 😂

But on a more serious note, I've read of quite a few people finding traumatic family secrets, and I think that the DNA companies sort of undersell that when they're hyping the DNA tests. 

31 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

So many church records were lost during WWII. 

It can make a huge difference for certain places! My mom's side of the family has a fair amount of German ancestry. The Lutherans I had no trouble tracing for centuries thanks to their meticulous baptism and marriage records. But one of those batches of Germans were from a part of Prussia that is modern-day Poland. I have had a hard time finding any records for them, and I'm assuming most of the records were destroyed. 

But even for genealogy hunting in America, I've had issues with missing/no records--my dad's dad's brother did a wonderful job of hunting down their family history, but my dad's mom's family has often stumped me. They're from a very rural part of Western North Carolina, and though my grandpa is, too, his county has nothing on hers for just not having anything. Literacy may have played a part in that as well. 

[emmawoodhouse]

I should clarify that I wasn't looking to find my bio parents. I really just wanted to know if my ethnic heritage was what my bio mother told the adoption agency. Turns out that she knew enough about my bio dad to know where he came from.

[madpsych78]

My aunt - my mother's oldest sister - is actually her half-sister, but only some in the family know about it. My aunt is one who actually doesn't know about it (as far as we know). She's 74 now, so there is no point in telling her. Another aunt discovered this about 20 or so years ago through a biology class when she researched the blood types of all of the family members. My grandfather was AB, my grandmother was type O. My mom and her siblings were all either type A or B...except for my oldest aunt, who was Type O. After doing more digging, we uncover that my grandmother was evidently married to someone else before marrying my grandfather, and had my oldest aunt through that marriage. Events led to a divorce, and my grandmother and grandfather reunited (I think they dated before my grandmother's first marriage), and they eventually married. I believe my grandparents changed my aunt's birth certificates to include a new name as well as list my grandfather as the father. (This was the 1940s.) 

My mom was actually the second oldest after my aunt, and based on when we think my grandparents actually married, we think they were pregnant with my mom when they married (it would have been about eight months before she was born). 

[CalicoKitty]

1 hour ago, Zella said:

I love doing genealogy--one of my goals for the year is to return to it--but I have several reasons for avoiding the DNA tests, some more paranoid than others. 😂

But on a more serious note, I've read of quite a few people finding traumatic family secrets, and I think that the DNA companies sort of undersell that when they're hyping the DNA tests. 

It can make a huge difference for certain places! My mom's side of the family has a fair amount of German ancestry. The Lutherans I had no trouble tracing for centuries thanks to their meticulous baptism and marriage records. But one of those batches of Germans were from a part of Prussia that is modern-day Poland. I have had a hard time finding any records for them, and I'm assuming most of the records were destroyed. 

But even for genealogy hunting in America, I've had issues with missing/no records--my dad's dad's brother did a wonderful job of hunting down their family history, but my dad's mom's family has often stumped me. They're from a very rural part of Western North Carolina, and though my grandpa is, too, his county has nothing on hers for just not having anything. Literacy may have played a part in that as well. 

You and I are searching in the same area.  My family is Lutheran, and I have not been able to find anything for even my grandparents.  They were from the Posen area, which is Polish/German.  I even have pictures of my grandmother's half-sisters who stayed in Germany.  But no records seem to be available. And no one seems to be researching them, either.  No information on Ancestry.  I have my info out there and keep checking, so I guess that is all I can do.  Sometimes I find a new listing, only to find that it is someone who has copied my information for their tree.  Nothing new.

[Zella]

44 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

You and I are searching in the same area.  My family is Lutheran, and I have not been able to find anything for even my grandparents.  They were from the Posen area, which is Polish/German.  I even have pictures of my grandmother's half-sisters who stayed in Germany.  But no records seem to be available. And no one seems to be researching them, either.  No information on Ancestry.  I have my info out there and keep checking, so I guess that is all I can do.  Sometimes I find a new listing, only to find that it is someone who has copied my information for their tree.  Nothing new.

Oh hell mine who are giving me trouble were from Posen too! 😁 From Margonin. My mother's mom's dad. I think he immigrated over here in the 1800s, but unfortunately, my maternal grandmother was orphaned at an early age and raised by siblings. What little they seemed to have gleaned of their family history is badly distorted. So, I don't really have any clues to work on beyond what I can find myself. I've tried looking for Lutheran, Catholic, and Jewish records for his family, and there just seems to be nothing preserved. 

Edited January 23, 2021 by Zella

[Absolom]

One of my friends found out her cousins are actually her siblings.  It turns out who she thought was her mother couldn't have children so her "aunt" gave her "mother" a baby.  One of the older cousins knew and had been sworn to secrecy, but when told about the genetic test and with the parents being deceased gave up the story.  

[Quof]

3 hours ago, CherryMalotte said:

Are we better off sometimes not knowing?  I think that DNA testing for crimes and genetics for diseases are a good thing - Golden State Killer right?  But sometimes...I'm not sure I want to know more than what I do as far as family goes. 

This.  The relatives I know about are bad enough. Why would I want more? 

[GeeGolly]

Count me in the no column for giving up my DNA. My reasons are all over the place, including some that might seem paranoid to some. Genealogy does fascinate me though. 

I received a FB message about a year after my dad died. The woman thought my dad might be her father. Her DNA test was pointing in that direction and she asked if I would call her.  So I gave her a call. She asked if I, or any of my siblings, would take a DNA test. I told her no. Anyway after talking for over an hour, exchanging a couple of pictures, we both agreed it was highly unlikely my dad was her dad. I told her to save my number and call me back if things still pointed toward my dad and I would call her if any of my siblings would agree to get tested. That was 5 or 6 years ago. She's never called back.

None of my relatives have done DNA tests and that was the only thing that led this woman to me. How does that work when there's no other DNA? Because I'm unsure of how this all works, it made wonder about the phone call even more.

 

[iwantcookies]

I did the ancestry test. I got 3rd cousins as closest relatives. Waste of $. No secret half siblings to be found.

[Scarlett45]

5 hours ago, Absolom said:

One of my friends found out her cousins are actually her siblings.  It turns out who she thought was her mother couldn't have children so her "aunt" gave her "mother" a baby.  One of the older cousins knew and had been sworn to secrecy, but when told about the genetic test and with the parents being deceased gave up the story.  

Yeah there are lots of situations like that in my family. Black people in the USA tend to be a huge fan of intra- family adoptions- so if someone had a baby that they couldn’t care for/didn’t want to keep placing it with a more well off older sibling/cousin/aunt/uncle etc was what was done. Although in all the cases I know of the kids were told about it- it’s not a secret. 

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

None of my relatives have done DNA tests and that was the only thing that led this woman to me. How does that work when there's no other DNA? Because I'm unsure of how this all works, it made wonder about the phone call even more.

It could’ve been a more distant relative that did a DNA test or their child, and that pointed to your direction based on your Dad’s age, location at the time of her conception etc. the thing is DNA lives on- if anyone anywhere on the branch has kids and they agree to get tested that can trace back to you some way. 

I found a woman on 23& Me who we (meaning the rest of my cousins and I) think her great grandfather was one of our great uncles (we ruled out the youngest just due to his age, and my grandfather because we would be closer related)- just based how how she’s matching with all of us, when her grandmother was born in the Chicago area, the fact that after that they moved back to PA..... etc. Her grandmother could use that info to figure out who her bio dad may be without actually getting tested herself.

That’s how so many of those disgusting fertility doctors that used their own sperm without the consent/knowledge of their patients got caught! All the half siblings started showing up with data in common, and like with Dr Cline in Indiana- his legal son with his wife said “I believe you, you can test me.”  Dr Cline never needed to get tested. If an adult bio child or grandchild or sibling offered up the DNA a match could be made. 

[Scarlett45]

8 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

I should clarify that I wasn't looking to find my bio parents. I really just wanted to know if my ethnic heritage was what my bio mother told the adoption agency. Turns out that she knew enough about my bio dad to know where he came from.

Glad you were able to find that info!