Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[ChiCricket]

@ozziemom   

 

 

[CherryMalotte]

ozziemom please accept my condolences.  

[QuinnInND]

@Happyfatchick I'm so sorry.  Been there done that. Prayers.

 

@ozziemom my condolences.

I spent part of my night last night texting with a friend who was suicidal. She's got horrible anxiety, and has been a worrier all her life. Uncertainty and unrest is hard for her. Without getting political, the current situation in the country is just overwhelming her. She's terrified and just can't deal with it. I'm so glad she reached out to me. She said she's doing better today, but still doesn't feel like going on. Not suicidal in the sense of making plans, but just wants to give up. She doesn't want to go ask for help, because she doesn't want to be labeled or locked up.  I've texted her every hour all day. I'm worried about her. Her husband is aware and very supportive, and wanted to go get her help, but respected her decision not to. 

[Oldernowiser]

@rue721,how did Portia’s vet appointment go?

[Love2dance]

@ozziemom, so very sorry for the loss of your mom and how she passed. These are such difficult times, everything is worse with Covid.

@Happyfatchick, Sending wishes and hope that the doctors’ diagnosis are more negative than the outcome will be. How agonizing for all of you. So sorry to hear this news.
 Your grands’ sayings are adorable.

[awaken]

4 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I recommend the show Bridgerton on Netflix. Very steamy romantic fluff. Plenty of eye candy. 
 

On my to- watch list!

I live in an area of the country that has had a lot of news coverage recently. There have been helicopters circling all evening. It’s really becoming disconcerting. I haven’t seen any news in what it could be although I keep checking. 

[iwantcookies]

2 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Thank you.  It's always been a problem with getting refills in the past.  The pharmacy has been calling the doctor's office with no luck.  I'll try again tomorrow.  

I have the same doctors. They refuse to give me any refills over the phone. If I’m out of meds too bad. 

@ozziemom I’m sorry for your loss. 

[SunnyBeBe]

1 hour ago, QuinnInND said:

@Happyfatchick I'm so sorry.  Been there done that. Prayers.

 

@ozziemom my condolences.

I spent part of my night last night texting with a friend who was suicidal. She's got horrible anxiety, and has been a worrier all her life. Uncertainty and unrest is hard for her. Without getting political, the current situation in the country is just overwhelming her. She's terrified and just can't deal with it. I'm so glad she reached out to me. She said she's doing better today, but still doesn't feel like going on. Not suicidal in the sense of making plans, but just wants to give up. She doesn't want to go ask for help, because she doesn't want to be labeled or locked up.  I've texted her every hour all day. I'm worried about her. Her husband is aware and very supportive, and wanted to go get her help, but respected her decision not to. 

It’s nice you gave your friend support during this difficult time.  It likely helped her feel better.  I know that my daily texts and emails with friends and family are invaluable to me.  I’ve always felt like a very strong and stable person.  But, over the last year.....so much has happened...I now know what getting overwhelmed feels like.  For me, prayer helps, but everyone is different.  I think it’s fair to be so concerned about her welfare. I wish I had an answer. 

[andromeda331]

I'm so sorry for your loss @ozziemom. Thoughts and prayers are with you.

Edited January 15, 2021 by andromeda331

[Jeeves]

For all of you who are, or have been, caregivers to elderly people who are living with serious medical conditions - my special respects and appreciation. Not that I didn't respect and admire your caregiving before. I'm not in that role now, nor have I had the primary caregiver role in the past. I have seen the situation close up in my extended family, and have some understanding of what's involved and the toll it can take on the caregivers. 

I'm tired this morning, and I just had a bit of a brush with the caregiving thing over the last couple of days. I'm trying to describe this without writing a freaking book. A longtime friend has been circling the drain with some serious medical issues, and yes they are serious. Yet another hospital admission occurred this week, and I pitched in to try to help. I've drafted and deleted paragraphs about it. Let's just say that it's taken a lot of time as well as physical, mental, and emotional energy. We (that includes her sister, another longtime friend, her other sibling, and me) are encouraged that this time the patient seems to REALLY grasp that she needs to manage her daily life better and if she does, she will have a better quality of life. Her sis (who has her medical POA) is joining her for a video conference next week where her medical team will discuss palliative care, getting someone to come in daily for awhile to help her with some things, etc.

I'm relieved that things are looking up for my friend, and once again impressed by the energy that caregiving can take. 

 This week I've seen in person, again, what a big city hospital is like operating in this pandemic. Strange times. I still hope to avoid being a patient in a hospital or even in my dentist's office, until I've had the full COVID vaccine. I'm not so terrified of COVID that I would decline medical treatment if it becomes needed, but I'm hoping that I won't need it until I'm all vaccinated. So far the only thing I've sought medical advice for during the pandemic, was handled with a video chat with my primary care doc, which was cool. 

[SunnyBeBe]

My niece is hooked up to electrodes to measure her brain activity, which they do on a regular basis.  This time, I suppose they are trying to be even more specific in pinpointing details of the electrical activity.  We're waiting to hear the plan.....seems odd to me. If she comes home, won't she have to get covid test again before returning?   She had many seizures during the night, which is common for her. This happens despite taking an enormous amount of medications. I appreciate the continued prayers.  

I have so much respect for caregivers. Their sacrifice is enormous.  I think we may fail to recognize just how much stress they operate with...sometimes for years.  Caregiver burnout is common, because often they don't have the option of taking time off.  And, many times they don't get paid.  It's truly an act of love and devotion.   

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

For all of you who are, or have been, caregivers to elderly people who are living with serious medical conditions - my special respects and appreciation. Not that I didn't respect and admire your caregiving before. I'm not in that role now, nor have I had the primary caregiver role in the past. I have seen the situation close up in my extended family, and have some understanding of what's involved and the toll it can take on the caregivers. 

I'm tired this morning, and I just had a bit of a brush with the caregiving thing over the last couple of days. I'm trying to describe this without writing a freaking book. A longtime friend has been circling the drain with some serious medical issues, and yes they are serious. Yet another hospital admission occurred this week, and I pitched in to try to help. I've drafted and deleted paragraphs about it. Let's just say that it's taken a lot of time as well as physical, mental, and emotional energy. We (that includes her sister, another longtime friend, her other sibling, and me) are encouraged that this time the patient seems to REALLY grasp that she needs to manage her daily life better and if she does, she will have a better quality of life. Her sis (who has her medical POA) is joining her for a video conference next week where her medical team will discuss palliative care, getting someone to come in daily for awhile to help her with some things, etc.

I'm relieved that things are looking up for my friend, and once again impressed by the energy that caregiving can take. 

 This week I've seen in person, again, what a big city hospital is like operating in this pandemic. Strange times. I still hope to avoid being a patient in a hospital or even in my dentist's office, until I've had the full COVID vaccine. I'm not so terrified of COVID that I would decline medical treatment if it becomes needed, but I'm hoping that I won't need it until I'm all vaccinated. So far the only thing I've sought medical advice for during the pandemic, was handled with a video chat with my primary care doc, which was cool. 

Being a caregiver is exhausting, and often overlooked and under appreciated work. I remember caring for my grandfather during the last years of his life, and he gave Mrs. B (he and my sister's caregiver) and my Mom HELL (I could get him to do things that they could not). With my sister going through puberty and my grandfather descending into dementia, thats a time of life I would NEVER want to repeat. Its hard! I cannot imagine how hard that would be now with COVID and the effects of covid.

 

I have a dentist appointment on the 29th that I am looking forward to, my dentist is nice, I feel comfortable going- but I admit I WFH and see no one ever so this is going to be a huge outing for me. I will take the time to stop at the near by Bath and Body Works and get more candles.

[GeeGolly]

@Jeeves and @QuinnInND, depending on your friends' health insurance, they may qualify for care management. It's definitely worth looking into as care management offers many extra services.

Quinn, I worked in Crisis for years, the last thing that want to do is put someone inpatient. There are so many levels of care that can be helpful. Most phone calls to a mental health crisis line end up being warm calls, meaning they offer hope, skills and suggestions. A phone call inquiring about therapy will not get one locked up either. Of course with the very rare exception, but if that were to happen, that is where you friend needs to be. I would gently encourage your friend to seek help. Its going to be months before covid or the political environment improve much.

Jeeves and Quinn, you both sound like extraordinary friends. Kudos to you both.

[Jeeves]

Aw, thanks, @GeeGolly. I don't have a huge circle of friends but she's one of those long time friends who's helped me out in crises in the past.

Yes, my friend has good health insurance and she also has had a decent long term care policy in place for many years. She took it out when that stuff was available and affordable. One of the friends involved in these discussions is retired from a long career as a hospital social worker, and is as you might expect, superbly knowledgable about these things. I'm confident that any available coverage will be used here. 

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Aw, thanks, @GeeGolly. I don't have a huge circle of friends but she's one of those long time friends who's helped me out in crises in the past.

Yes, my friend has good health insurance and she also has had a decent long term care policy in place for many years. She took it out when that stuff was available and affordable. One of the friends involved in these discussions is retired from a long career as a hospital social worker, and is as you might expect, superbly knowledgable about these things. I'm confident that any available coverage will be used here. 

I don't know what state you live in, but the kind of care management I'm speaking of is relatively new, maybe 10 years in a couple of states. It comes with a care manager and includes rapid access to certain services, in-home services and medical necessities like air conditioners, recliners, medical grade beds, housekeeping, CPAs, dietary needs like ensure, meals on wheels, and transportation.

[GeeGolly]

For @doodlebug and hopefully more of us in the near future.

[Mindthinkr]

I am a big fan of street art. Here is one I saw today that I really liked. 

[QuinnInND]

10 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

@Jeeves and @QuinnInND, depending on your friends' health insurance, they may qualify for care management. It's definitely worth looking into as care management offers many extra services.

Quinn, I worked in Crisis for years, the last thing that want to do is put someone inpatient. There are so many levels of care that can be helpful. Most phone calls to a mental health crisis line end up being warm calls, meaning they offer hope, skills and suggestions. A phone call inquiring about therapy will not get one locked up either. Of course with the very rare exception, but if that were to happen, that is where you friend needs to be. I would gently encourage your friend to seek help. Its going to be months before covid or the political environment improve much.

Jeeves and Quinn, you both sound like extraordinary friends. Kudos to you both.

Thank you. She was the first friend I made when my husband and I got married and I moved to the first base with him. She was my key spouse.  She's like my sister. She said she's doing better today. She and I talked during my lunchtime today. She sounded a lot better. 

Edited January 16, 2021 by QuinnInND

[Happyfatchick]

My house (on the inside) looks like a California wildfire might have blown through.  Because I forgot about the tortilla chips I stuck in the oven to crisp up.  For a long time.  Loooong time.  They don’t smell nice either, when they are way past anything edible. 

So an update on the baby:  there was some trouble finding a specialist who’s ever seen this in atlanta (yes, really).  And then some other trouble getting out from under the original doctor.  My DIL prefers a birthing center with a licensed midwife (attached to a hospital and ultimately under the care of a specialist).  That’s what she did last time and all went perfectly.  But she’s a trooper, that kid.  Because the doctor over that group IS a specialist, he can’t refer her to someone else.  (???)  This means no referral.  She dug her heels in and about the 10th call down said to the receptionist “Please don’t put me off.  My baby is probably going to die and no one in this city knows what to do.  I want someone to examine me and do a ton of blood work and I want every test known in medicine.  Because i might not be able to save MY baby, but I want someone to SEE this and LEARN from it so that just MAYBE someone else’s baby gets to live”.  

🥺😭😢

is that the most humble thing for a 25 (wait - I think she’s 26) year old EVER??  This poor kid had the WORST life growing up, and I can’t even believe that came out.  I might (later) have that thought - probably when it’s too late to learn anything - in the moment, I would be probably curled up in a corner feeling so so sorry for myself.  I’m pretty sure nobody would be able to stand me.  

Anyway, I went the long way for THAT!  The receptionist heard her heart and said “let me see”.  In an hour or so, the doctor himself called her and made her repeat everything she knows.  He said “let me see”.  And before the day was over, a doctor from Emory (the big teaching hospital in atlanta) had called and set her up for Tuesday.  
I am SO grateful for that unseen, unnamed, unknown receptionist who heard the cry and said “Let me see”.  And then followed through.  
Meanwhile, the DIL has turned over every rock in the world and found not one, but TWO babies who have survived this and are alive and well today.  One has nominal issues; the other either has none or the parents aren’t sharing.  (Their prerogative).  
My son won’t be able to go in but will be in the car and on FT so he can hear whatever is said. Damn covid. 
And that’s where we are.  The end 🥸

[Jeeves]

@Scarlett45, I value your insights into caregiving. You've already had more experience with it, at a younger age, than most people will during their whole lives.

@Happyfatchick, your DIL is extraordinary. I hope the new doctor can really help them. That story had me tearing up. Wow.

[QuinnInND]

Your dil sounds extraordinary, @Happyfatchick. Sometimes those who had the worst childhood have the biggest hearts. Speaking from experience here. Continued prayers for her and her baby. There is still hope for the baby. 

[Scarlett45]

This Chris Rock video is absolutely true, a mortgage does make you “Act right”.

[Liddy52]

@Happyfatchick, you brought tears to my eyes also. Praying for your sweet DIL, your son and you. Prayers for the medical staff also, that they will be gifted with not only wisdom but compassion. 

[Scarlett45]

@Happyfatchick my heart goes out to your DIL. She sounds extraordinary. 

[iwantcookies]

If your phone is not an iPhone.

Which brand is it? Do you like it? 
 

I don’t want to spend $600 for an iPhone. Or $300 for a used one. 
 

 

Edited January 17, 2021 by iwantcookies

[emma675]

I'm just catching up but happyfatchick prayers to your DIL and your family, I can't imagine how she's dealing with everything. 

Edited January 16, 2021 by emma675d

[Boston]

On 1/14/2021 at 6:56 PM, Scarlett45 said:

YAAAAASSS TO THIS! We are having fun in the Bridgerton forum. I have loved Regé-Jean Page since I saw him in the 2016 Roots remake (as Chicken George) but I cannot lust after him cause he looks like a family member! (literally, I want to say "cousin") I am going to rewatch the 2016 Roots remake in February in honor of black history month- more Rege- Jean please! Just his eyes, not only his he handsome he can ACT. Piercing.

 

 

@ozziemom I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother, I am so sorry you werent able to be with her. I know she was grateful to have a daughter who loved her so much. Please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel all the feelings (as my therapist says).

I have just called my friend to ask if i would like Bridgerton.  I don't like period pieces.. but i feel like i'm miising out!   I just watched Pieces of a Woman.. very good.  but i want to be in the know.. Please tell me if i'm missing out on something.. Thanks

[QuinnInND]

1 hour ago, iwantcookies said:

If your phone is not an iPhone.

Which brand is it? Do you like it? How often does it upgrade? 
 

I don’t want to spend $600 for an iPhone. Or $300 for a used one. 
 

 

I've got a moto z4. I've had it since June 2019. I've always had Motorola phones. Very solid. My big complaint is the camera is so-so. Through Verizon I can get a new phone every 2 years. But I use them til they die. I only got this one because in 2019 I dropped my last one (also a Motorola) face down on the floor at DFW, and it made the display all pink. Like looking at it through rose colored glasses. But it still worked perfectly fine other than that. My husband has the Google Pixel. He loves it. 

Edited January 16, 2021 by QuinnInND

[andromeda331]

Praying for you and your family @Happyfatchick.

[Mindthinkr]

3 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

If your phone is not an iPhone.

Which brand is it? Do you like it? How often does it upgrade? 
 

I don’t want to spend $600 for an iPhone. Or $300 for a used one. 
 

 

My friend in the NYC area got a cheap TracPhone. The phone itself was around $30. You do however have to pay by the minute. If you don’t use your phone very much, don’t mind not being able to text or get mail on it, it might be a solution for you. I send him Minutes for Christmas so he can chat with me without worrying about how much time we spend on the phone. (About a 20 minute call every other week) 

[doodlebug]

On 1/15/2021 at 6:27 PM, GeeGolly said:

For @doodlebug and hopefully more of us in the near future.

This seems to be the twin to the pin I've been wearing since last spring when I got tired of hearing people say dumb stuff:

[iwantcookies]

4 hours ago, Boston said:

I have just called my friend to ask if i would like Bridgerton.  I don't like period pieces.. but i feel like i'm miising out!   I just watched Pieces of a Woman.. very good.  but i want to be in the know.. Please tell me if i'm missing out on something.. Thanks

Watch 1 episode. I really liked it.

[Boston]

14 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Watch 1 episode. I really liked it.

Thank you.. I will watch it.. I feel like i'm out of the loop! 

[emmawoodhouse]

@iwantcookies, I have a Pixel 4. Love it! They're up to the 4a and (I think) 5, but if 5G isn't a big deal, you can probably get a 4 pretty cheaply now. 

[louannems]

18 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

If your phone is not an iPhone.

Which brand is it? Do you like it? 
 

I don’t want to spend $600 for an iPhone. Or $300 for a used one. 
 

 

I have ever only bought LG smart phones.  My first costed $100 and my second $149.  The first lasted for several years and this one must be over five years now.  I don't have any problems with LG phones.  My plan was Virgin Mobile, which got bought out by Boost and I purchased the phones from their website.

[lookeyloo]

hello everyone.  Popping in to say we got our first Covid shots on Thursday.  Mr lookeyloo had no reaction except a slightly sore arm for a few hours.  Last night my arm starting hurting as in pain, to touch, any movement, and at rest.  I had aches and some chills.  I woke up this morning considerably better and my arm feels almost normal.   We got the Moderna vaccine through our health department.  They have an efficient drive through set up and we didn't have to get out of the car.

As far as missing Sweet son, well, it gets harder sometimes.  Had another session with the grief counselor.  Honestly I don't care about the Duggars right now.

Sending congratulations to everyone with good news and virtual hugs to everyone who needs them.

[ozziemom]

Always good to hear from you @lookeyloo. 
 

I just wanted to thank everyone here for the kind thoughts and condolences on my mom’s passing. It meant a lot.

[doodlebug]

12 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

hello everyone.  Popping in to say we got our first Covid shots on Thursday.  Mr lookeyloo had no reaction except a slightly sore arm for a few hours.  Last night my arm starting hurting as in pain, to touch, any movement, and at rest.  I had aches and some chills.  I woke up this morning considerably better and my arm feels almost normal.   We got the Moderna vaccine through our health department.  They have an efficient drive through set up and we didn't have to get out of the car.

As far as missing Sweet son, well, it gets harder sometimes.  Had another session with the grief counselor.  Honestly I don't care about the Duggars right now.  

Sending congratulations to everyone with good news and virtual hugs to everyone who needs them.

Thanks for checking in, Lookey; I think of you every day and I'm sure I'm not the only one here who does.  Thanks also for confirming that the vaccine is no big deal.  Virtually everyone in my office has now had their first dose.  One of the docs had a next day reaction similar to yours that lasted a couple hours the next evening and then she was fine.  The rest of us thought it was very similar to a flu shot: a little sting at first, maybe a sore arm the next day.

[iwantcookies]

43 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

Always good to hear from you @lookeyloo. 
 

I just wanted to thank everyone here for the kind thoughts and condolences on my mom’s passing. It meant a lot.

Biggest hug to you. My deepest condolences.

[iwantcookies]

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

hello everyone.  Popping in to say we got our first Covid shots on Thursday.  Mr lookeyloo had no reaction except a slightly sore arm for a few hours.  Last night my arm starting hurting as in pain, to touch, any movement, and at rest.  I had aches and some chills.  I woke up this morning considerably better and my arm feels almost normal.   We got the Moderna vaccine through our health department.  They have an efficient drive through set up and we didn't have to get out of the car.

As far as missing Sweet son, well, it gets harder sometimes.  Had another session with the grief counselor.  Honestly I don't care about the Duggars right now.

Sending congratulations to everyone with good news and virtual hugs to everyone who needs them.

It’s good to hear from you. Sending you hugs.

[Scarlett45]

Thanks for letting us know how you are @lookeyloo.

[QuinnInND]

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

hello everyone.  Popping in to say we got our first Covid shots on Thursday.  Mr lookeyloo had no reaction except a slightly sore arm for a few hours.  Last night my arm starting hurting as in pain, to touch, any movement, and at rest.  I had aches and some chills.  I woke up this morning considerably better and my arm feels almost normal.   We got the Moderna vaccine through our health department.  They have an efficient drive through set up and we didn't have to get out of the car.

As far as missing Sweet son, well, it gets harder sometimes.  Had another session with the grief counselor.  Honestly I don't care about the Duggars right now.

Sending congratulations to everyone with good news and virtual hugs to everyone who needs them.

Good to hear from you. (((hugs)))) 

[Zella]

Hugs to all of you who are grieving! 

[Scarlett45]

So a friend of mine upgraded from a Queen to a King- and gifted me a gorgeous velveteen silver duvet cover. 
 

I’ve never been a fan of duvets or shams but with WFH and seeing my bed all the time I may want to be more fancy. Do you guys like shams and duvets? I may get something for summer. 
 

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

So a friend of mine upgraded from a Queen to a King- and gifted me a gorgeous velveteen silver duvet cover. 
 

I’ve never been a fan of duvets or shams but with WFH and seeing my bed all the time I may want to be more fancy. Do you guys like shams and duvets? I may get something for summer. 
 

Pillow shams, yes. Duvet covers, not so much. To me they're a bit too much work and never look quite the way I want them to.

[Happyfatchick]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

I’ve never been a fan of duvets or shams but with WFH and seeing my bed all the time I may want to be more fancy. Do you guys like shams and duvets? I may get something for summer. 
 

You used the word “velveteen” which can’t be said without a rabbit.

I am a HUUUUUUGE fan of bedclothes.  I’m embarrassed to tell you how ridiculous my closet is.  I have a queen.  I buy a king so I can cut the extra off and make shams.  I have shams with initials, quilted ones, embroidered ones.  I have summer ones, spring ones, winter ones.  I have a dog (big burly hefty weight) who MUST get on the bed and a white quilt that is not her territory.  I looooove that white quilt. 
plus I have roughly 90 pillows.  
I told my husband the other day I am SOOOO happy with my guest room.  It just all pulls together and looks fabulous (to me, anyway) and every time I walk past the open door, I smile a little to myself.   I have an antique sewing machine in there, an antique marble top wash stand and an iron bed.  Happy sigh.  
 

I like a quilt instead of a duvet because I don’t do poofy.  I like it smooth and flat, but that’s me.  Plus my tastes change all the time.  I’m not sure I’ll ever join the minimalist group, but I do like to change things up.  

[iwantcookies]

I bought a duvet once. Not a fan.

 

I like quilts and cotton blankets the most. And just flat sheets to cover myself. I do own comforters but I get easily overheated! 

[doodlebug]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

So a friend of mine upgraded from a Queen to a King- and gifted me a gorgeous velveteen silver duvet cover. 
 

I’ve never been a fan of duvets or shams but with WFH and seeing my bed all the time I may want to be more fancy. Do you guys like shams and duvets? I may get something for summer. 
 

I have a duvet currently because it is a lot easier to remove the cover and wash that then to wash an entire spread or quilt.  My furry children are messy and, no matter how recently they've been bathed, they manage to get schmutz on the bed covers. I really prefer a quilt, I think, but the priority is keeping it clean despite the dogs so the duvet cover it is.

I have recently become a convert to the weighted blanket, I really do think I sleep better under it.  However, you cannot really wash a weighted blanket in the usual way, it messes it up.  I bought a couple covers for it and that works well.  I found a really pretty black velveteen one with holly on it for Christmas and loved it.

Edited January 18, 2021 by doodlebug

[QuinnInND]

Right now, I've got a quilt on our bed. My kids have comforters, because they're cold sleepers. When we lived in North Dakota, I got a down comforter for our bed. Soooo warm and worth it. But a bitch to wash. Had to take it to the laundromat, because it was too big and heavy when wet for my machine. 

And because it can't be said enough, fuck you discovery plus.  My whole family is bummed because we can't watch our favorite shows anymore. Greedy bastards at disco. At least there's the football game tonight. But Sunday evenings are going to suck now. And Saturday night too. Grrr.

[CalicoKitty]

I keep a duvet on my down comforter all the time. I have several so there is always a clean one.