Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[SomePity1066]

Be careful with the treat thing though. My neighbour has a Grand Danois and when she was a puppy he gave her treats every time she pooped outdoors and now she just simply refuses to move after pooping unless given a treat. Occasionally he forgets the treats or runs out which leads to a massive tug-o-war between this now somewhat elderly gentleman and his great big honkin' calf of a dog. It is a great source of entertainment for random passersby (and me tbh, though I've run out with rescue treats a few times), but probably not so much fun for my neighbour.

Oh, my, Vaysh, I know !!! I made my bed with the treats and now I have to lie in it ! 

 

I'm lucky that my sweet doggie, as big as he is, is compliant enough to roll with the punches when Mama forgets a treat, but that doesn't happen very often, as I have kibble in the pocket of every coat, jacket, and hoodie that I own, and Ziplock baggies in every purse. Crazy dog lady, I know... ;)

[Sew Sumi]

I never knew that pets had middle names! Oh, the things I learn on this thread. :D

 

My current kitties are Boo (we got her as Boots - stupid name - changed it to Boo so she'd still answer us) and Mitzi. Lots of nicknames, but no middle names. 

[Twopper]

 

I never knew that pets had middle names! Oh, the things I learn on this thread. :D

Mine have titles.  I had one named for a Saint and we had Sir W___ and Lady ____.

Our cars also have names, but only one has a title Lady Jane.

 

[Sew Sumi]

I do remember a friend whose cat was named for Lord Peter Wimsey, and she used the full name. But that's still a title with first and last name, no middle. :D

[ChocolateAddict]

I'm sitting here looking at our gorgeous golden lab who does, in fact, have a middle name.  We got her from these amazing breeders who also breed for guide dogs and assistance dogs so she has the most beautiful temperament as well as being the most perfect dog ever in history (I'm not bias, am I???).  Anyway, we loved her mother's name so we decided to make that her middle name but it is really only on her vet record and that's about it. 

She has many, many nicknames though.  The most common is "Savage Beast" because she has a really deep, threatening bark but would lick an intruder to death rather than attack. She sometimes has a funny line running between her eyes down to her nose so she also gets called "Harriet Potter" but when she is in trouble she is "Shish Kebab"!

[JenCarroll]

Your dogs must be my newish neighbors who never turn the lights on. Mystery solved.

Oh sure, just blurt it right out in front of the entire Prayer Closet...

;-)

[Micks Picks]

My dogs don't have middle names exactly.  I had a Little Orphan Annie from the pound.  

I had a Professor Moriarty who preferred her full name, no abbreviations please.

My husband had a Tagalong, Tag, because she always liked to Tag a long wherever he went.  She also came in with all kinds of things so I used to sometimes call her Rag Tag the Bag Lady.

[Skittl1321]

Can you all help me?

 

Last week, we lost our (unborn) baby. He was 29 weeks gestation. I delivered him on Thursday and we got to hold him, and while he had severe abnormalities he was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. He weighed 1 pound 10 ounces, and I am devastated I will never get to hold him in my arms again. But he was going to be so so sick, and I am happy he will never suffer in life; it would have been so awful for him to ever be alive.

 

Now the question: my family all knows, but none of my friends do. Most of my friends are not local; I communicate with the majority of them through facebook. 

 

What the hell do I post on facebook to let people know that this happened?  We posted about his condition (he had a huge chromosomal deletion that caused the abnormalities) and that seemed something that could just be posted matter of factly; but how do you post this?

[MargeGunderson]

Skittl321 - I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family healing and peace during this difficult time.

 

Rather than post it, could you email your friends through Facebook? You could compose a single message to send to everyone - what has happened, how you and your family are doing, and if you need anything (people will ask).

[amitville]

Can you all help me?

 

Last week, we lost our (unborn) baby. He was 29 weeks gestation. I delivered him on Thursday and we got to hold him, and while he had severe abnormalities he was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. He weighed 1 pound 10 ounces, and I am devastated I will never get to hold him in my arms again. But he was going to be so so sick, and I am happy he will never suffer in life; it would have been so awful for him to ever be alive.

 

Now the question: my family all knows, but none of my friends do. Most of my friends are not local; I communicate with the majority of them through facebook. 

 

What the hell do I post on facebook to let people know that this happened?  We posted about his condition (he had a huge chromosomal deletion that caused the abnormalities) and that seemed something that could just be posted matter of factly; but how do you post this?

(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) i truly am so sorry for your loss.  Sending kisses and love to you and your family . 

[lookeyloo]

Can you all help me?

 

Last week, we lost our (unborn) baby. He was 29 weeks gestation. I delivered him on Thursday and we got to hold him, and while he had severe abnormalities he was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. He weighed 1 pound 10 ounces, and I am devastated I will never get to hold him in my arms again. But he was going to be so so sick, and I am happy he will never suffer in life; it would have been so awful for him to ever be alive.

 

Now the question: my family all knows, but none of my friends do. Most of my friends are not local; I communicate with the majority of them through facebook. 

 

What the hell do I post on facebook to let people know that this happened?  We posted about his condition (he had a huge chromosomal deletion that caused the abnormalities) and that seemed something that could just be posted matter of factly; but how do you post this?

Skittl321 - I am so sorry you lost your beautiful little boy.  Heartbreaking.  Sending Hugs.  I agree that if all your friends are on Facebook use the private messaging for an email if that is possible.  Or can you get one of the friends to send just an email?  Not on open public Facebook?  

[Skittl1321]

Not on open public Facebook?  

Well, I don't really have open public Facebook.  I only post for friends and I only friend people I actually know (or have cultivated years long online relationships.) 

 

Sending an email through facebook would basically be the same thing as posting.

 

I just have no idea what to say.

[Jordan Baker]

Can you all help me?

 

Last week, we lost our (unborn) baby. He was 29 weeks gestation. I delivered him on Thursday and we got to hold him, and while he had severe abnormalities he was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. He weighed 1 pound 10 ounces, and I am devastated I will never get to hold him in my arms again. But he was going to be so so sick, and I am happy he will never suffer in life; it would have been so awful for him to ever be alive.

 

Now the question: my family all knows, but none of my friends do. Most of my friends are not local; I communicate with the majority of them through facebook. 

 

What the hell do I post on facebook to let people know that this happened?  We posted about his condition (he had a huge chromosomal deletion that caused the abnormalities) and that seemed something that could just be posted matter of factly; but how do you post this?

 

I think you could just copy what you posted here in your second paragraph. It lets your friends know what happened and it expresses how you're feeling. It's beautiful.

[Lemur]

Skittl1321, very sorry to hear that.  You could simply state what happened and then say just what you said, "I just have no idea what to say".  There is a simple eloquence to that statement that pretty much cover it all.

[Barb23]

I think you could just copy what you posted here in your second paragraph. It lets your friends know what happened and it expresses how you're feeling. It's beautiful.

Skittl -I was going to post the same thing. So sorry to hear of the loss of your little Angel. Sending prayers & hugs your way.

Remember, as your cyber family & friends, we are here for you in any way we can.

[wilsie]

Skittl, I'm so sorry for your loss.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  What you wrote was heartfelt and lovely, especially for the small close group of people with whom you share facebook. If you don't feel up to it, a friend would be fine to let who you want to know what happened. 

[barbedwire]

Oh Skittl!  I am so sorry.  Hugs.

[abseedee]

Skittl, I am so sorry for your loss.  Hugs and prayers.

[emma675]

 

Last week, we lost our (unborn) baby. He was 29 weeks gestation. I delivered him on Thursday and we got to hold him, and while he had severe abnormalities he was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. He weighed 1 pound 10 ounces, and I am devastated I will never get to hold him in my arms again. But he was going to be so so sick, and I am happy he will never suffer in life; it would have been so awful for him to ever be alive.

Skittl1321, I would just put what you wrote above. It's straight to the point and beautiful. Some people might want to do something for you and the hubs (maybe bring food or cards, visit, etc.), so if you're not up for that, I might include something like "We appreciate your thoughts and prayers at this time, and we'll let you know when we're feeling ready for visitors again."

 

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

[mbutterfly]

Well, I don't really have open public Facebook.  I only post for friends and I only friend people I actually know (or have cultivated years long online relationships.) 

 

Sending an email through facebook would basically be the same thing as posting.

 

I just have no idea what to say.

Skittl, I am very sorry for your loss. You said it beautifully here. If you wrote in much the same way, your friends will be fully informed and able to circle the friendship wagons for you. That was my feeling, anyway, reading your post here. Prayers

[latetotheparty]

All my love, Skittl.  I'm so sorry for your loss. 

[lookeyloo]

Skittl, I agree with the other posters about putting your heartfelt words out there.  It is a clear and concise and a beautiful message.

[XinaMarie]

I really admire everyone on this board's willingness to show compassion and kindness to strangers. You are all very emotionally generous people. 

[Twopper]

 

Skittl1321, I would just put what you wrote above. It's straight to the point and beautiful. Some people might want to do something for you and the hubs (maybe bring food or cards, visit, etc.), so if you're not up for that, I might include something like "We appreciate your thoughts and prayers at this time, and we'll let you know when we're feeling ready for visitors again."

That is a great suggestion.  ((((Skittl1234)))).  

[Love2dance]

Can you all help me?

 

Last week, we lost our (unborn) baby. He was 29 weeks gestation. I delivered him on Thursday and we got to hold him, and while he had severe abnormalities he was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.

SKITTL, so very, very sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Sending you love and hugs, and hoping you will find comfort with your close family and friends.

I agree with the previous posters that your explanation to us was perfect to share with others.

[Missy Vixen]

Skittl, the words from your heart are more beautiful than you know. The family and friends who will read them will think so as well.

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was anything I could say or do to make it hurt less. And I hope you are surrounded by those you love at such a horrible time.

 

Thinking of you.

[zenme]

Skittl, a friend of mine went through a pretty almost identical situation as you about 3 yrs ago. Her husband ran interference for her, so to speak, and he handled a mass email to friends, etc., and also asked that no one address it with his wife at all. At that time she just wasn't ready. Let hubby handle things for you right now. You just take care of Skittl.

Edited November 16, 2015 by zenme

[Wok Chop]

I had a job interview today with a local prosecutor's office. I was so freaking awkward. Ugh. I swear my tongue must grow as I speak because I start tripping over the damn thing.

I actually have another interview tomorrow for a different job. I wanted to get both interviews out of the way ASAP. I do not interview well, and I don't think any amount of preparation would change that.

Anyway, when it rains, it pours. I went over a year without landing any interviews and now I have two in a row.

[GeeGolly]

Please accept my condolences on the loss of you baby. The warmest of warm hugs and kind thoughts to you Skittl. 

 

 

If your comfortable, I would post what you posted here.

I had a job interview today with a local prosecutor's office. I was so freaking awkward. Ugh. I swear my tongue must grow as I speak because I start tripping over the damn thing.

I actually have another interview tomorrow for a different job. I wanted to get both interviews out of the way ASAP. I do not interview well, and I don't think any amount of preparation would change that.

Anyway, when it rains, it pours. I went over a year without landing any interviews and now I have two in a row.

Good luck with tomorrow's interview, (& today's as well).  If your tongue grows during an interview, I would tell them that straight up! And they will see how well you keep it together under pressure. And everyone has a funny bone.

[XinaMarie]

Good for you wok chop. I recently redid my resume and went to a few job boards and never sent it out. We could use the money if I worked, but it is very hard as a mom to find the flexibility in an employer I would need to be able to be there for my daughter. I used to do contract work at home for a company, but they were needing my services less and less and now that flexible job is pretty much gone.

I also worked a part-time contract job for two years outside of my house and was not renewed (due to overall layoffs in the company) over a year ago. Not going to lie...this is much less stressful in many ways, but I need to get back in the saddle and be a contributor. It is a tough balance to achieve. Interviews are scary and I feel like I am frothing at the mouth and won't shut up. Maybe that makes me seem energetic?

[Jellybeans]

This won't be a popular post but... something bothers me about the re-name the thread thing going on, and the baby's name (which I admit is truly awful but HE did not pick it out) is I feel we are sort of being bullies. I mean my family has a LOT of odd names, I am from the South (my Dad was born in Mt. Pine, Arkansas) and nope, would would never share what their unusual names are because of what ya'll said about Spurgeon. Thankfully mine is normal.

Thing is, we should teach our children to be nice to all people, regardless of what their name is. So what if we don't like his name? He probably won't either and will come up with his own moniker. Or not.

[GeeGolly]

This won't be a popular post but... something bothers me about the re-name the thread thing going on, and the baby's name (which I admit is truly awful but HE did not pick it out) is I feel we are sort of being bullies. I mean my family has a LOT of odd names, I am from the South (my Dad was born in Mt. Pine, Arkansas) and nope, would would never share what their unusual names are because of what ya'll said about Spurgeon. Thankfully mine is normal.

Thing is, we should teach our children to be nice to all people, regardless of what their name is. So what if we don't like his name? He probably won't either and will come up with his own moniker. Or not.

Oh Jelly, you are so sweet. I get where you're coming from. My perspective is we are talking about a name, not the child. And a name the child didn't pick.

 

Sorry if we are rubbing your sweetness the wrong way!

[Satchels of gold]

This won't be a popular post but... something bothers me about the re-name the thread thing going on, and the baby's name (which I admit is truly awful but HE did not pick it out) is I feel we are sort of being bullies. I mean my family has a LOT of odd names, I am from the South (my Dad was born in Mt. Pine, Arkansas) and nope, would would never share what their unusual names are because of what ya'll said about Spurgeon. Thankfully mine is normal.

Thing is, we should teach our children to be nice to all people, regardless of what their name is. So what if we don't like his name? He probably won't either and will come up with his own moniker. Or not.

Aww I love this post because it just demonstrates that even though the Duggars think we are all going to hell the posters here are so caring and kind. The Duggars are getting more compassion from you then they deserve or would ever give back but that's what makes it so brilliant. Ok Jelly I stand with you and will refrain from commenting on that God awful name....sorry that slipped out. I really am done:)

[BrianJ62]

Aww I love this post because it just demonstrates that even though the Duggars think we are all going to hell the posters here are so caring and kind. The Duggars are getting more compassion from you then they deserve or would ever give back but that's what makes it so brilliant. Ok Jelly I stand with you and will refrain from commenting on that God awful name....sorry that slipped out. I really am done:)

I will welcome you into hell. I was banished to there yesterday.

[Wok Chop]

Interviews are scary and I feel like I am frothing at the mouth and won't shut up. Maybe that makes me seem energetic?

Geez, I don't know because I suck at interviews! Lol

I understand less stress versus the need to be out there contributing. My kids are grown, so my stress is all mental. My personality type makes it very difficult to talk about myself or open up to others beyond social niceties. I am always left feeling so vulnerable after an interview. I feel embarrassed long after the fact and wish I had never put myself out there in the first place. But then when I'm sitting around at home, I feel so empty, and I know that I am wasting my potential. I hate being this way.

[Satchels of gold]

Geez, I don't know because I suck at interviews! Lol

I understand less stress versus the need to be out there contributing. My kids are grown, so my stress is all mental. My personality type makes it very difficult to talk about myself or open up to others beyond social niceties. I am always left feeling so vulnerable after an interview. I feel embarrassed long after the fact and wish I had never put myself out there in the first place. But then when I'm sitting around at home, I feel so empty, and I know that I am wasting my potential. I hate being this way.

Have you ever actually been told that you suck at interviews ? Or do you just think you do? That just maybe faulty self perception run amok. Do you struggle with social anxiety? I ask that because of the latent embarressment you described. Most folks may think "I Wish I would have done better" but don't lament over it. I would bet your outside self doesn't look anything like your inside self. So don't concentrate on how you feel because it may not have anything to do with your actual performance. Best of luck I will be thinking of you

[Wok Chop]

Have you ever actually been told that you suck at interviews ? Or do you just think you do? That just maybe faulty self perception run amok. Do you struggle with social anxiety? I ask that because of the latent embarressment you described. Most folks may think "I Wish I would have done better" but don't lament over it. I would bet your outside self doesn't look anything like your inside self. So don't concentrate on how you feel because it may not have anything to do with your actual performance. Best of luck I will be thinking of you

f

Yes, I do have social anxiety. No one has told me I suck. I do not like to be the focus of attention and have trouble articulating my thoughts when I am put on the spot. These things are painful for me, and I do lament over it for days, weeks, months, ...and maybe years because sometimes the dumb things I have done in the past pop into my mind at random, and I feel that same embarrassment all over again.

Thanks for the well wishes! As for tomorrow's interview, there are two open positions, so I'm hoping that increases my chances of getting hired.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Sooo...going out with my son in a little bit to a karaoke bar. I do love singing, but have not really done any in years, and never in public. When the kids were growing up, my dream was always to have a familly which would sing together, but my husband has always adamantly refused to have anything to do with singing, and the kids pretty much adopted his stance. So it's all rather gone by the wayside since the kids have grown up. My younger son, however, has always been very musically talented and has been having some fun with karaoke of late. When I lamented over never getting to hear him sing, he told me that the only way I was going to get to do that was if I came along and participated. So here I go...Wish me luck! LOL. I have tremendous stage fright in even the most innocuous of circumstances, so this is taking about all the courage I have!

[Love2dance]

WOK CHOP, good luck tomorrow! I hope it is your most comfortable interview.

[Jenniferbug]

Skittl, I am so sorry for the loss of your son.

[GeeGolly]

A wise person once said, "Don't believe everything you think." I have know idea who originally said it, but I totally buy into it.

[Vaysh]

I'm so sorry Skittl for your loss, I wish you all the comfort you can find to get through this horrible time.

A wise person once said, "Don't believe everything you think." I have know idea who originally said it, but I totally buy into it.

 

Also goes well with "Just because you know something doesn't mean it's true."

Edited November 17, 2015 by Vaysh

[Satchels of gold]

f

Yes, I do have social anxiety. No one has told me I suck. I do not like to be the focus of attention and have trouble articulating my thoughts when I am put on the spot. These things are painful for me, and I do lament over it for days, weeks, months, ...and maybe years because sometimes the dumb things I have done in the past pop into my mind at random, and I feel that same embarrassment all over again.

Thanks for the well wishes! As for tomorrow's interview, there are two open positions, so I'm hoping that increases my chances of getting hired.

Oh great the wonderful gift of social anxiety, you don't have to just suffer through an incident but get to suffer for years and years. It helps if you have a "prop" like an extra copy of your resume so you can draw the focus away from you and draw it to the paper. Ex if you look at line 3 you will see that I had the same responsibilities at that job etc. Most people with SA have very little self awareness of how they actually come across. They feel so unncomfortable they assume it's written all over their face but it's not. If worse comes to worse fake a cough until you can get you thoughts together . Please repot back, I will be thinking and wondering about you all day tomorrow . Edited November 17, 2015 by nc socialworker

[Ownedbydogs]

Skittl, I am so sorry for the loss of your son.  I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[IOU Payne]

Skittl, I'm so sorry for your loss.  ((((Huge hugs))))

[SomePity1066]

f

Yes, I do have social anxiety. No one has told me I suck. I do not like to be the focus of attention and have trouble articulating my thoughts when I am put on the spot. These things are painful for me, and I do lament over it for days, weeks, months, ...and maybe years because sometimes the dumb things I have done in the past pop into my mind at random, and I feel that same embarrassment all over again.

Thanks for the well wishes! As for tomorrow's interview, there are two open positions, so I'm hoping that increases my chances of getting hired.

My very, very best wishes for you tomorrow, Wok Chop ! I suffer from exactly the same kind of social anxiety as you - I feel myself being absolutely blindsided by something that happened when I was a kid, FORTY years ago, and I physically cringe. It's like a whole-body version of Homer Simpson's "Doh !" and it can be debilitating, I know. 

 

The only thing that has ever helped me was advice from my sister - she asked me directly what I'd done or said in nineteen-freaking-seventy-four that made me so nervous, and, when I finally told her, she said "Jesus ! I don't even know what you're talking about ! Even if you DID do that who cares anyway ?!?!"

 

And she was right. People are generally too ego-centric and self-centered to care, or even remember, what you did last month, let alone in the last decade or nearly half-century...

 

Now I've gone and done what I hate - giving the old "just get over it already" advice - but I hope what I've said helps a little. Just remember, we're all here pulling for you, we have your back, and you're going to be great.

 

GREAT, I tell you - mark my words  :)

[magpye29]

Skittl, I'm adding my condolences and heartfelt sympathy.  I second emma's advice to let people know that you'll reach out when you're ready.  The only other thing I'll add is that you may actually have to do the reaching out.  When my son died (he was 2-1/2 weeks old), there were many people in my social circle who never spoke to me again, as if death were contagious, but I learned much later that they simply didn't know what to say to me and were afraid of making me feel worse.  Unfortunately, you will probably have to help your loved ones and friends navigate through your grief and just be very straightforward with them.  And don't let anyone rush you through your feelings; take as long as you need to heal.

 

Wok Chop, good luck on your job interview tomorrow.  I'm sending lots of positive thoughts and encouragement your way.

[springtime]

Here's what I did (some where around 1974) I was in 8th grade

I called into a radio station and was the lucky caller!!

 

Great except for the fact that the station was playing a game similar to Clue- You had to be listening to the past calls to eliminate the wrong answers,

(Not sure how I missed that bit of information!)

 

So I didn't even guess- I assume my educated answer was "I don't know"

I made the effort to call in - and then I didn't play! lol

NEXT...

Edited November 17, 2015 by springtime

[Wok Chop]

Thanks, everyone!

I am feeling good about tomorrow's interview. It's not in the legal field, but I think it's something I would enjoy. Plus it pays well and the benefits are excellent.

Pity, it's so nice to know that I am not alone. Well, that sounds bad because I'd rather you not suffer from this at all! But I think you get the picture!

[GeeGolly]

In 1974 I was in science class remembering I needed to stay late to make up a lab. I was coming down with something and was feeling well. When Mr G said "GeeGolly don't forget you need to stay after class.", I replied with "Not today Mr G, I have a headache."

 

I was totally serious, and it took me a few to understand Mr G's blushing face and the other students laughter.