Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[bigskygirl]

I hate saying this, but you are much better off without your husband. Makes me mad he did this to you and sweet Maisie. I put him in the same league as my idiot in-laws and my own family (believe me this is no compliment.) If you do not mind me asking, is there support groups or places you can ask for assistance. You are an amazing lady, and Miss Maisie is lucky to have you as her mama.

[Love2dance]

My treatments are draining but they're supposed to be. I am lucky that I have a good primary care coordinator who is on top of the pain and nausea. My hair didn't fall out completely, but it got really, really brittle and patchy. My biggest challenge is figuring out how to balance Maisie, her appointment schedule, my appointments, and looking for a job.

.

....and you even found time to update those of us anxiously waiting for any word from you, WANDERWOMAN. Thank you.

I agree with BIGSKYGIRL, in the end you are better off without him. (Been there, done that, too.) And I am also HOPING you have found/can find some support for all this where you are. I am not a lawyer, but sure don't see why ex I isn't being held to the highest standard of support. Ugh.

So happy to hear about Maisie's hearing. That is wonderful news.

As always, many, many hugs and healing thoughts to you and Maisie.

[emma675]

wander, thanks for taking the time to update us. Especially with all of the craziness going on in your life.

 

Your husband can take a flying leap into the Grand Canyon. What an asshole. Real men, good men don't go running to the nearest piece of tail when things in their marriages get tough. Esp. not when their babies are fighting for their lives. He's showing his true colors and they aren't pretty or anything to be proud of. I hope he can't even look at himself in the mirror.

[Wellfleet]

Update.

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I don't even know where to start. Maybe, the good news first? Miss M had her cochlear turned on and she has some hearing in the ear that was strongest to begin with. It's kind of hard, at her age, to know what she is hearing, but she is hearing. For the most part, you wouldn't know she was deaf or premature now. She's just small and cute. Finally got her wearing 3-6month size clothes. Lol

Bad news: wanderman pulled a wander-affair and is wandering his ass back to his wanderlust... or something like that. Yes. He had had an affair. That's why he went from being super dad to super jerk. On one hand, I know life was hard for us this year. It was stressful and we were apart a lot. But, I didn't feel the need to find comfort elsewhere. That's because I was raising our child! Yuck. Thinking of me being in that NICU with our baby and him being with another woman makes me sick. She is convinced that this is true love. Ha! If he can leave a preemie hanging, I'm not sure he's true love material, lady. The best irony is that she has no desire for kids and since Maisie is pretty labor intensive, he's not really fighting me on custody. Jerk. It angers me that Maisie fought so hard and her dad is less strong than she.

As a result, we left the cabin. We're in town and it's hard. I'm job hunting and watching the money go out. We have a temporary order for support but he's not actually being held to a high alimony or child support standard. Not enough for us to get by on without me working. I don't mind working, I just wish Maisie were a bit older. We shall survive.

 

Re Jill, the free donuts and giving away to the homeless. We just returned from college tour trips to two states. We boxed our good leftovers and gave them to the homeless around the restaurants in both states. We had a very meaningful conversation with a homeless man for the first giveaway that impacted my teen daughter. Honestly we all had tears after we all shook his hand. As we were walking away she said "I should of took a selfie with him". We then had a great conversation about dignity etc. she said she was not going to post it but just wanted a picture of that moment. I don't think she was going to brag either. She did post a tweet something like "'Poor in money, but rich in spirit" and "I met an amazing human" but that's it. (She is a good kid, always thinking of others, in fact she started a club last year at her HS to integrate the Special Ed kids with her peers) I think her generation is so use to documenting every second of their life they don't think twice. Luckily we were able to teach her a lesson before she posted something bad unintentionally.

 

That is one terrific kid, Readalot. Give her a aqueeze and an "atta girl" from me, if you would. The world needs a whole lot more of her...

[Ilovemylabs]

Update.

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I don't even know where to start. Maybe, the good news first? Miss M had her cochlear turned on and she has some hearing in the ear that was strongest to begin with. It's kind of hard, at her age, to know what she is hearing, but she is hearing. For the most part, you wouldn't know she was deaf or premature now. She's just small and cute. Finally got her wearing 3-6month size clothes. Lol

Bad news: wanderman pulled a wander-affair and is wandering his ass back to his wanderlust... or something like that. Yes. He had had an affair. That's why he went from being super dad to super jerk. On one hand, I know life was hard for us this year. It was stressful and we were apart a lot. But, I didn't feel the need to find comfort elsewhere. That's because I was raising our child! Yuck. Thinking of me being in that NICU with our baby and him being with another woman makes me sick. She is convinced that this is true love. Ha! If he can leave a preemie hanging, I'm not sure he's true love material, lady. The best irony is that she has no desire for kids and since Maisie is pretty labor intensive, he's not really fighting me on custody. Jerk. It angers me that Maisie fought so hard and her dad is less strong than she.

As a result, we left the cabin. We're in town and it's hard. I'm job hunting and watching the money go out. We have a temporary order for support but he's not actually being held to a high alimony or child support standard. Not enough for us to get by on without me working. I don't mind working, I just wish Maisie were a bit older. We shall survive.

God bless you, dear.  You have been incredibly strong.  Do you have family that can help out or are you on your own?  Can you seek help from your church or synagogue?  Do you have a good lawyer?  I am praying for you and your precious little one.

[P2C2E]

So great to hear from you, Wanderwoman! I'm sorry that things are still rough for you but you have a huge support group here and I'm so glad you found the time to check in. Hang in there, you and Maisie are WonderWomen and I know the two of you will make it through. Screw the ex, Maisie has more than enough in you to get her through. I'll echo everyone else and say I hope you have a good support system in person around you to help out. We love you, and wishing you the best. 

[Wellfleet]

Update.

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I don't even know where to start. Maybe, the good news first? Miss M had her cochlear turned on and she has some hearing in the ear that was strongest to begin with. It's kind of hard, at her age, to know what she is hearing, but she is hearing. For the most part, you wouldn't know she was deaf or premature now. She's just small and cute. Finally got her wearing 3-6month size clothes. Lol

Bad news: wanderman pulled a wander-affair and is wandering his ass back to his wanderlust... or something like that. Yes. He had had an affair. That's why he went from being super dad to super jerk. On one hand, I know life was hard for us this year. It was stressful and we were apart a lot. But, I didn't feel the need to find comfort elsewhere. That's because I was raising our child! Yuck. Thinking of me being in that NICU with our baby and him being with another woman makes me sick. She is convinced that this is true love. Ha! If he can leave a preemie hanging, I'm not sure he's true love material, lady. The best irony is that she has no desire for kids and since Maisie is pretty labor intensive, he's not really fighting me on custody. Jerk. It angers me that Maisie fought so hard and her dad is less strong than she.

As a result, we left the cabin. We're in town and it's hard. I'm job hunting and watching the money go out. We have a temporary order for support but he's not actually being held to a high alimony or child support standard. Not enough for us to get by on without me working. I don't mind working, I just wish Maisie were a bit older. We shall survive.

 

Dear Wander - your post has flattened me. I feel so badly for you and little Miss. Two things & I'm forcing myself to be brief because I know you're going to get a zillion messages. 1 - Heartbroken for you. Read post through blinking blur of tears. Certainly never expected to hear this kind of news about your husband, whom I pictured as Dudley Do-Right last Winter when Maisie was still in hospital. Have to keep telling myself there ARE good guys out there. And IMO, these boys really need to get a LOT more press than they are. If for no other reason than maybe it will start to shame all the douchebags. So Maisie's dad is Dudley Douchebag going forward now - whaddaya think? 2 - Absolutely FLOORED by your strength. No kidding. You're the Kevlar Mom. You're bulletproof. You're that inflatable roly-poly clown that little kids hit & try to knock down in nursery school gym class, but that springs back everytime. The fact that you're still upright and facing forward is nothing short of a miracle. A miracle named Maisie. And you're right - you will survive.  Two big, warm squishy hugs and cheek-to-cheek squeezes are beaming your way, plus some industrial-strength fairy dust for the job search. Along the best quote I could find for you right now: "When you're going through hell, keep going...." Courtesy of Winston Churchill, who knew a little about going through hell himself... ❤️❤️❤️

[ChocolateAddict]

Gotta admit, cheating on your wife when she is in intensive care with your sick daughter is a new low.  He should have been there for you and Maisie and IMO stress isn't an excuse for cheating on you and wimping out on being Maisie's father.  You are amazingly strong and Maisie is so, so lucky to have you.  On the happier side that is fantastic news about her hearing!  So good to hear that she is doing well :) 

[JenCarroll]

Wander, so glad you were able to check in. People have been very concerned. Trying to channel positive energy your way. My line is always open.

Bon courage. <3

Edited October 8, 2015 by JenCarroll

[MarysWetBar]

Wander so glad you found the time to update us. I've been thinking about you and wee Maisie. Stay strong.After all you have been through already, Mr Jerk is a minor blip on your radar. Enuff energy wasted on him.

Re the allergy discussion. I got a nice dose of karma recently.

For the last few years I have been snide about how suddenly everyone i knew was off the gluten. Well after my annual blood work as i was leaving the Drs office, he said to me offhand.."oh...you are gluten intolerant...did you know that? " Could have knocked me over with a feather! Lol

So now i am researching it a bit and watching my reactions to food. I have always had a lot of skin issues that just may be gluten related.

I deserved it..i know i did.

All my comments about my niece and her phony gluten allergy she used as an excuse to eat the tops off as many pieces of pizza as she could cram in her mouth.

Edited October 8, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[wanderwoman]

Just got little miss down. This is the one hour per evening when I hear my own thoughts. In some ways, I look forward to it, in other ways, i dread it. To briefly answer questions:

Support systems? Sadly, not family. I don't have any living and DoucheDad(lol) (I'm going to need to edit that when she's old enough to read) is in a similar boat. His new squeeze has a very large, connected family, though. I have always been sort of a loner and our friends are old or current co-workers. But, I honestly needed a new scene and I'm not going to make old friends (some of whom work under him) choose. I am slowly meeting new people in our little apartment community.

Someone asked if I ever saw this coming (in pm)? Not at all. I really think the man has lost his mind. He had been supportive and loving until about the time I delivered Maisie's twin. I did notice a slight bobble in his behavior but I thought it was stress.

I do think he loves Maisie. He had expressed disappointment at all of her limitations because he imagined hiking through the woods at two weeks old, camping under the stars, and having this little crew of Scouts following him around. We both wanted that and I'm not giving up in her, yet. But, he can't see the possibility and he chose wrong. I just hope he pulls it together before she's old enough to notice he's chosen wrong.

What kind of job am I looking for? Right now, any job. I collect a tiny bit of disability but that's going to end soon. Hopefully, my treatment will be finished next month. I need something to bridge the gap. It's about $1000 a month of gray area between income and expenses. Maisie still requires therapy and special meds. Her synagis shot is $1200. She will get three of those between now and April.

She is getting big (comparative to her birth size). She has started cooing and making almost purposeful noise. She figured out that she can blow raspberries and she enjoys it so much that she's had to have five bib changes a day. Lol. She's teething, too. She's still wary of loud noises. The people upstairs have a kid who must play violin (badly). She hates that noise. Otherwise, we are just taking this a day at a time. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts.

[Tabbygirl521]

Wanderwoman, you and I haven't "spoken" before, but I have read a good chunk of your story and your strength and determination are awesome. So, so many challenges, and all at the same time. Speechless about your husband. It is amazing how horribly some people can behave. My ass-kicking foot is itching big time.

Your daughter and you will thrive. And she will grow up knowing what true strength and character are; she will see it demonstrated every day of her life.

[Readalot]

Just got little miss down. This is the one hour per evening when I hear my own thoughts. In some ways, I look forward to it, in other ways, i dread it. To briefly answer questions:

Support systems? Sadly, not family. I don't have any living and DoucheDad(lol) (I'm going to need to edit that when she's old enough to read) is in a similar boat. His new squeeze has a very large, connected family, though. I have always been sort of a loner and our friends are old or current co-workers. But, I honestly needed a new scene and I'm not going to make old friends (some of whom work under him) choose. I am slowly meeting new people in our little apartment community.

Someone asked if I ever saw this coming (in pm)? Not at all. I really think the man has lost his mind. He had been supportive and loving until about the time I delivered Maisie's twin. I did notice a slight bobble in his behavior but I thought it was stress.

I do think he loves Maisie. He had expressed disappointment at all of her limitations because he imagined hiking through the woods at two weeks old, camping under the stars, and having this little crew of Scouts following him around. We both wanted that and I'm not giving up in her, yet. But, he can't see the possibility and he chose wrong. I just hope he pulls it together before she's old enough to notice he's chosen wrong.

What kind of job am I looking for? Right now, any job. I collect a tiny bit of disability but that's going to end soon. Hopefully, my treatment will be finished next month. I need something to bridge the gap. It's about $1000 a month of gray area between income and expenses. Maisie still requires therapy and special meds. Her synagis shot is $1200. She will get three of those between now and April.

She is getting big (comparative to her birth size). She has started cooing and making almost purposeful noise. She figured out that she can blow raspberries and she enjoys it so much that she's had to have five bib changes a day. Lol. She's teething, too. She's still wary of loud noises. The people upstairs have a kid who must play violin (badly). She hates that noise. Otherwise, we are just taking this a day at a time. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts.

wander thank you for taking the time to update us. I'm smiling at all of Maisie's good news. However I am failing to find the right words that can bring comfort to you during this fucked up time in your marriage. I will never understand how husbands and fathers that can act that way. But I do agree with you and hope that he gets his act togather before she understands. I wish I could do something to help you both, so never hesitate to reach out. All the best, I hope tomorrow is a great day for you and Miss M. XOXO

[Honeycocoa]

Wander some of my better friends, who I am able to rely on the most are the people I met in my son's playgroup when he was a baby. Not all of them of course, but some of them are great and we are still seeing each other regularily 12 years later. If your town has a parent baby playgroup , I highly reccomend it. It really helped me to see other babies and parents and how they all grew. This is no time to be the lone ranger.

Thanks for checking in.

[Julia]

I'm not going to make old friends (some of whom work under him) choose.

But maybe you could let them choose. It doesn't sound as if your stbx is someone people would necessarily pick, given their druthers. Just saying, don't burn your bridges being noble. He doesn't deserve it.

And also? You need a lawyer anyway. Soak his ass for child support, since it's apparently the only form of support he'll be providing.

Edited October 8, 2015 by Julia

[Ilovemylabs]

Just got little miss down. This is the one hour per evening when I hear my own thoughts. In some ways, I look forward to it, in other ways, i dread it. To briefly answer questions:

Support systems? Sadly, not family. I don't have any living and DoucheDad(lol) (I'm going to need to edit that when she's old enough to read) is in a similar boat. His new squeeze has a very large, connected family, though. I have always been sort of a loner and our friends are old or current co-workers. But, I honestly needed a new scene and I'm not going to make old friends (some of whom work under him) choose. I am slowly meeting new people in our little apartment community.

Someone asked if I ever saw this coming (in pm)? Not at all. I really think the man has lost his mind. He had been supportive and loving until about the time I delivered Maisie's twin. I did notice a slight bobble in his behavior but I thought it was stress.

I do think he loves Maisie. He had expressed disappointment at all of her limitations because he imagined hiking through the woods at two weeks old, camping under the stars, and having this little crew of Scouts following him around. We both wanted that and I'm not giving up in her, yet. But, he can't see the possibility and he chose wrong. I just hope he pulls it together before she's old enough to notice he's chosen wrong.

What kind of job am I looking for? Right now, any job. I collect a tiny bit of disability but that's going to end soon. Hopefully, my treatment will be finished next month. I need something to bridge the gap. It's about $1000 a month of gray area between income and expenses. Maisie still requires therapy and special meds. Her synagis shot is $1200. She will get three of those between now and April.

She is getting big (comparative to her birth size). She has started cooing and making almost purposeful noise. She figured out that she can blow raspberries and she enjoys it so much that she's had to have five bib changes a day. Lol. She's teething, too. She's still wary of loud noises. The people upstairs have a kid who must play violin (badly). She hates that noise. Otherwise, we are just taking this a day at a time. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts.

What about Maisie's other grandparents?  I had a similar problem with my son.  He was an a-hole to his wife and little boy.  They divorced but my hubby and I have maintained an excellent relationship with his ex.  We see our grandson as often as possible.  He is so precious to us!  Also, don't be proud.  Check out food banks (churches often have them and you don't have to be a member to use them).  Sometimes drug companies will lower the price of drugs if you contact them personally.  Astra Zeneca often advertises this and I think others may also.  Check out every single social service you can get WIC, food stamps, etc.  If we can do this for illegal aliens you are certainly just as deserving.  My prayers are with you.  God bless you and your baby.

Edited October 9, 2015 by Ilovemylabs

[JenCarroll]

Wander, dear, if you'd let us I suspect that the friends you have right here might well purpose to cover one of those shots, or at least help. Please think about it.

[lookeyloo]

Seashell lover did a GoFUndMe that we suggested and contributed to for her grandkids' school supplies.

[galax-arena]

But maybe you could let them choose. It doesn't sound as if your stbx is someone people would necessarily pick, given their druthers. Just saying, don't burn your bridges being noble. He doesn't deserve it.

Yeah, if I didn't work under DoucheDad - I know that could put subordinates in a difficult position - I'd definitely want to know! What an ass.

 

But I totally get just wanting to start over with a change of scene. 

Edited October 8, 2015 by galax-arena

[amitville]

Update.

I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I don't even know where to start. Maybe, the good news first? Miss M had her cochlear turned on and she has some hearing in the ear that was strongest to begin with. It's kind of hard, at her age, to know what she is hearing, but she is hearing. For the most part, you wouldn't know she was deaf or premature now. She's just small and cute. Finally got her wearing 3-6month size clothes. Lol

Bad news: wanderman pulled a wander-affair and is wandering his ass back to his wanderlust... or something like that. Yes. He had had an affair. That's why he went from being super dad to super jerk. On one hand, I know life was hard for us this year. It was stressful and we were apart a lot. But, I didn't feel the need to find comfort elsewhere. That's because I was raising our child! Yuck. Thinking of me being in that NICU with our baby and him being with another woman makes me sick. She is convinced that this is true love. Ha! If he can leave a preemie hanging, I'm not sure he's true love material, lady. The best irony is that she has no desire for kids and since Maisie is pretty labor intensive, he's not really fighting me on custody. Jerk. It angers me that Maisie fought so hard and her dad is less strong than she.

As a result, we left the cabin. We're in town and it's hard. I'm job hunting and watching the money go out. We have a temporary order for support but he's not actually being held to a high alimony or child support standard. Not enough for us to get by on without me working. I don't mind working, I just wish Maisie were a bit older. We shall survive.

Wanderwomen i have been worried about you.  Now after reading about wanderman i am at a loss for words.  You will survive this and come out stronger remember you have a entire thread standing behind you and will cheer you on every steep of the way.  Kiss Our Maisie for me. As always i am sending you ffhugs kisses and tons of love. 

[emma675]

Ditto what JenCarroll, galax-arena and lookeyloo said, wander. A lot of us here would love to be able to help you out in ways other than just listening and chatting, so please do consider a Go Fund Me account. Friend supporting friends, virtual or real life, can be a life saver. 

[amitville]

Ditto what JenCarroll, galax-arena and lookeyloo said, wander. A lot of us here would love to be able to help you out in ways other than just listening and chatting, so please do consider a Go Fund Me account. Friend supporting friends, virtual or real life, can be a life saver. 

I love this sententance I really do.  Count me in.   That is why i love this thread. Everyone cares about one another and everyone helps one another.. 

Edited October 8, 2015 by amitville

[Love2dance]

I love this sententance I really do.  Count me in.   That is why i love this thread. Everyone cares about one another and everyone helps one another..

I'm in too!

WANDERWOMAN, you deserve so much more support than it seems you are getting where you live. Also, are you in touch with your hospital's social worker? There should be all kinds of resources available to you.

[BitterApple]

JoeJitsu, prayers for you and your mother. I hope her surgery and recovery go smoothly!

Wanderwoman, I'm really sorry to read about what you're going through. Are you eligible to receive any sort of subsidies or assistance through social services? It might help take some of the load off.

[Wellfleet]

Wander so glad you found the time to update us. I've been thinking about you and wee Maisie. Stay strong.After all you have been through already, Mr Jerk is a minor blip on your radar. Enuff energy wasted on him.

Re the allergy discussion. I got a nice dose of karma recently.

For the last few years I have been snide about how suddenly everyone i knew was off the gluten. Well after my annual blood work as i was leaving the Drs office, he said to me offhand.."oh...you are gluten intolerant...did you know that? " Could have knocked me over with a feather! Lol

So now i am researching it a bit and watching my reactions to food. I have always had a lot of skin issues that just may be gluten related.

I deserved it..i know i did.

All my comments about my niece and her phony gluten allergy she used as an excuse to eat the tops off as many pieces of pizza as she could cram in her mouth.

 

Marys - hope you have luck with your own gluten experiments. I discovered that it certainly DOES seem to affect my skin. Had serious acne as a teen/college kid. Have had rosacea for 20 years. Did the antibiotic thing for only about a year but quit that. Too uneasy about taking basically-toxic drugs on a daily basis. Plus the whole 'our dependency on antibiotics is helping to create superbugs" thing - too scary. Anyway, have seriously reduced my gluten intake for several months now, and almost immediately my skin began to clear, become smoother. Far fewer bumps, zits, nasties under the surface etc. Still very very pink cheeks but I've read that the longer you've had rosacea, the longer it takes for the redness to subside. So I could be looking at a year or more - gulp. But still much better than before. I still eat some gluten but very small amounts, never a lot in any one day. When I have too much, my skin tells me because there is a noticeable change for the worse the next day. No kidding - that fast. To some extent, I think sugar can affect the skin negatively as well. But I've never been big on sweets and bottom line, for me, there's a much bigger improvement when avoiding gluten. Wish I had known about this as a kid. I never asked to be beautiful and I'm not. I just wanted clear skin. Anyway, best of luck with yours.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Ding! Ding Ding! I have two acquaintances who bought a cow for this very reason.

Soo...and maybe this needs to be moved to the prayer closet since it's a personal question...does the land actually need to be zoned agricultural for tax breaks, or just used in some proportion as such? We live in a pretty rural area. The property directly across the street is a once-upon-a-time dairy farm. currently on one of those 99-year lease/subsidy programs where it is protected as long as the owner keeps it up as farmland (which he is doing by only a pretty generous definition ). Another famer has bought something like 114 acres next "door" to him and has spent the last year developing it into viable farmland. We have 1.4 acres across from this, in a row of houses which actually belong to the next town over (the town line zigzags all down our street) and have planted about 25 various fruit trees, have a significant area devoted to vegetable gardens and two beehives (looking to put a couple more in next year at the new farm across the street). Might we be eligible for any tax breaks? This is in Connecticut, which will pretty much squeeze every drop of taxes they can out of you...

[Julia]

does the land actually need to be zoned agricultural for tax breaks, or just used in some proportion as such? 

 

In NYS, it doesn't need to be zoned any particular way to qualify for a tax break. My beleaguered husband is a forester, and my mom has just short of the amount of land she needs to be growing trees on (or as I think of it, her back yard) to be eligible for a tax break (you need to have a forester managing the land). They actually considered buying land to qualify.

[BitterApple]

Wellfleet, I'm the same way. I'm 37 and I've noticed that in the last several years I can no longer tolerate large amounts of gluten. If I eat even a small bowl of pasta it sits in my stomach and bloats me up for days. Ditto for bread and any type of processed cookies or crackers. I try not to jump on bandwagons when it comes to food fads, but I do think there is legitimacy to the gluten-free movement.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Don't know whether my new computer is playig games (it's been nothing but ornery in the few days I've had it, but that's another matter), but I posted a comment on the Duggars' lifestyle thread within the past hour (which was more of a personal tax question), and my notifications tell me that Julia quoted my post, but when I click on the notification it takes me 90-some-odd pages back to the start of the thread (obviously way out of date), but when I go to the last couple of pages (within the right time period), neither my original post nor Julia's response shows up. So I came to the Prayer closet to see whether it might have been moved, but don't see anything here either.

[Barb23]

Wander- I really can't add anything to what others have said. I love the poster that called you the Tevlar woman & how true. Maisie is sooooo lucky to have a mom like you. I was going to ask what his family thought of him doing what he did to you & Maisie but from what you said, he doesn't have much family. This made me wonder what does his new lady friend's family think of the situation - him doing what he did when Maisie & you needed him most. Are they just turning their backs on the situation, making pretend it never happened? Do they see or know the truth? Sorry, really none of my business & forgive me for crossing the line. (I am just curious.)

[Wellfleet]

Don't know whether my new computer is playig games (it's been nothing but ornery in the few days I've had it, but that's another matter), but I posted a comment on the Duggars' lifestyle thread within the past hour (which was more of a personal tax question), and my notifications tell me that Julia quoted my post, but when I click on the notification it takes me 90-some-odd pages back to the start of the thread (obviously way out of date), but when I go to the last couple of pages (within the right time period), neither my original post nor Julia's response shows up. So I came to the Prayer closet to see whether it might have been moved, but don't see anything here either.

 

This has happened to me many times on this site. I've usually thought it was MY laptop. Check again in a few hours, sometimes things are back to normal. Sometimes not. Not a huge deal to me so I haven't bothered to report it. 

[frenchtoast]

Some insider baseball--mods have the ability to hide posts, which is very helpful so that we can discuss and figure out what we need to do. And most of the time, we discuss it with our fellow mods. But this is a volunteer gig, we all have lives and it doesn't always happen immediately. Mostly, we try to keep stuff behind the scenes and not public. So asking about it in public makes it awkward. Got a question? Please PM us. We will get back to you, usually within a day. 

[Treehugger]

We have 1.4 acres across from this, in a row of houses which actually belong to the next town over (the town line zigzags all down our street) and have planted about 25 various fruit trees, have a significant area devoted to vegetable gardens and two beehives (looking to put a couple more in next year at the new farm across the street). 

 

Thank you for planting fruit trees and supporting bees!

[kassygreene]

There is a blood test for Celiac Disease called the tTG-IgA Test.  Useful info here.  You have to be consuming gluten for the test to work, and there are other tests too.  

 

If you have celiac (I match on 3 of the 6 indicators, and I have a family history), then the only treatment is to be gluten-free.  Permanently.  If you can eat just a taste, either you don't have celiac (just the allergy or intolerance variations) or you are kidding yourself on the effects.  I had been gf for about two months when I decided to treat myself to mozzarella cheese sticks.  No longer tasted good, and blew up my gut for three days.  Neither of my sisters will take the test, because they don't want to be gf.

 

I knew I was succeeding at the gf diet when I started having problems walking down the bread aisle in the grocery - that bakery scent that makes you want bread and rolls and sweet pastries?  That's gluten, and when you are gf the scent becomes the opposite of appetizing.  

 

E4Spelling - for nice people do not eat roles.

Edited October 9, 2015 by kassygreene

[NextIteration]

Wander, what an amazing, brave lady you are.  So sorry to hear the bad news, but happy for the good.  Is Maisie on disability yet?  Please do look into that as well. <3

[Jellybeans]

wanderwoman, i am so, so, so, happy to hear from you. not so happy with wandering man but he does not deserve you. let the other woman have him, he'll cheat on her as soon as her toenail breaks. my ex cheated on me when i was diagnosed with MS and HE has a-fib.

you and maisie will form a very strong mother/daughter team, one you both will cherish. it is hard now but will get easier. and as for "his dreams" for her, gee does he think just because she has an implant she can't do those things? excuses, excuses...

i understand about hair... my roomie is going through hospital based chemo and is now bald. she has had a relapse in her leukemia. only 26 years old. one thing that helps her is slathering organic coconut oil on her hair before it felt out. it is not greasy but looks wet, then dries. helps keep skin moist too since chemo is hard on skin.

again, i am very happy to hear from you. i have been worried about you. (((hugs)))

Wander, what an amazing, brave lady you are.  So sorry to hear the bad news, but happy for the good.  Is Maisie on disability yet?  Please do look into that as well. <3

I don't think she can be.. but she might be eligible for SSI.

[emma675]

I am sooo glad I don't have celiac disease or gluten intolerance. I really don't eat that much gluten on a daily basis, but I can't imagine life without bread or pasta. And it seems so difficult to avoid it--it's in everything! Seriously, why does shampoo need gluten?? I worry about how we're going to be in 10, 20 years after years of consuming foods and products with all of these weird preservatives and additives. 

[frenchtoast]

Well, there's plenty of GF bread, pasta, pizza etc. I've been known to make some really yummy desserts that are GF. Life is still good living GF.

[Lemur]

Well, there's plenty of GF bread, pasta, pizza etc. I've been known to make some really yummy desserts that are GF. Life is still good living GF.

 

One of the best boxed cake mixes I've ever had was GF.  Also, some of the best pizza, which had crust made from rice flour.  So good.  

[Tabbygirl521]

One of the best boxed cake mixes I've ever had was GF. Also, some of the best pizza, which had crust made from rice flour. So good.

Ditto on the pizza crust. I was looking for frozen preformed dough to make my own pizza and all the store had was gluten-free so I gave it a try. It was crispy and delicious after baking. I don't have to eat gluten-free but I like rice crackers, cornbread, brownies made with almond flour. I like wheat dough, too, but I could live without it and still enjoy food.

[lookeyloo]

I am sooo glad I don't have celiac disease or gluten intolerance. I really don't eat that much gluten on a daily basis, but I can't imagine life without bread or pasta. And it seems so difficult to avoid it--it's in everything! Seriously, why does shampoo need gluten?? I worry about how we're going to be in 10, 20 years after years of consuming foods and products with all of these weird preservatives and additives. 

Not about gluten, but Mr. lookeyloo has his food sensitivities and one of them is cow dairy which means cheese which means no lasagna, cheesecake, etc. that he was a big fan of.  But, the migraines he got from ingesting these made him have a slight aversion to them.  He doesn't really miss them anymore.  He said if he were ever sentenced to death, he would ask for a giant cheesecake, because he would be so sick he would beg them to hurry up!    So maybe if you got really sick from eating something you might not miss it all that much.  Maybe.

[kassygreene]

My parents were looking forward to retirement including travel and dining out more often.  But my father was diagnosed as a celiac, and since it was the early 90s, and the received wisdom of US trained doctors was that celiac was something that happened to babies and was cured by bananas, and the labelling certainly didn't exist, eating out was impossible.  My mother doesn't miss it; her attitude is that she really doesn't long to eat the food that shortened my father's life.

My parents were looking forward to retirement including travel and dining out more often.  But my father was diagnosed as a celiac, and since it was the early 90s, and the received wisdom of US trained doctors was that celiac was something that happened to babies and was cured by bananas, and the labelling certainly didn't exist, eating out was impossible.  My mother doesn't miss it; her attitude is that she really doesn't long to eat the food that shortened my father's life.

[JenCarroll]

FROM THE BENESSA THREAD

Well, we say it all the time here on the boards! A lot of us try to work it in whenever we can. It's highly entertaining. :-)

  

LOL while we do purpose to use the word purpose for snarky posts I just can't imagine purposing to use it in real life!

One summer (1987, maybe) I was traveling around Europe with a couple of friends. We had to take the cheapest transit possible so we found ourselves with way too much boring, should-be-sleeping time to fill. We came up with this running game where every few days we'd choose a phrase, something unlikely to come up in ordinary conversation, and we'd all purpose to work it in whenever possible (and it had to make sense). I remember one of them was "personal hygiene;" I can't call any others to mind. Sometimes we'd go days without scoring, but then someone would slip it in and we'd all be cracking up and high-fiving. Just making our own entertainment, wherever we were.

Our combined purpose to use 'purpose' brought that to mind. :-)

[Muffyn]

I am part of an atheist group that has discussions regarding sex, sexuality and religion.  I occasionally slip purpose into the conversation.  The members who have been exposed to fundy language find it funny.  I purpose to do this often.  

[Readalot]

That is one terrific kid, Readalot. Give her a aqueeze and an "atta girl" from me, if you would. The world needs a whole lot more of her...

thanks Wellfleet! Considering she has a genetic disorder and related issues I'm am so proud of her. When I'm down about my health or the other craziness she is my inspiration. She either wants to be a nurse or social worker :-)

[CofCinci]

On a lighter note.... I have a confession....

I'm 37 and love Bingo. I recently started going. All my friends and family joke about it and no one will go with me. :/. Some of the people are scary and look like they've had really hard lives. I stick right out like a sore thumb. But I don't give a shit. There's something zen about it.

[StaceyNotStacie]

On a lighter note.... I have a confession....

I'm 37 and love Bingo. I recently started going. All my friends and family joke about it and no one will go with me. :/. Some of the people are scary and look like they've had really hard lives. I stick right out like a sore thumb. But I don't give a shit. There's something zen about it.

I'm almost 39 and I love Bingo. It was one of my favorite activities as a kid at church bazaars. I have Monopoly Bingo on my phone.

The hubby is watching the Alabama and Arkansas football game (in Alabama) and I'm silently wondering if the Duggars are at the game.

[BitterApple]

I'm the same age and I love Bingo too! I live in Vegas and it's pretty hard core out here. My friend mistakenly called Bingo after she misheard a number and barely made it out of the casino alive.

[CofCinci]

What relief! My people have made fun of me for my bingo love. I don't see anyone my own age here. I'm at bingo now, lol.

[jcbrown]

Right before I got up this morning, I had a Duggar dream. They were gathered around a table talking and I was one table over. They were talking about demons and Satan and at one point two of the girls (I think) came over to stand next to me to ostensibly protect me from evil. I lost it in the dream. Told them I did not need protection from their imaginary threats and was capable of controlling myself without accountability partners. Started running down every thing about their ass-backwards anti-science anti-education patriarchal "theology" and yelling at them about everything (IMHO) they do wrong. I actually got up earlier than I wanted to because I did not want to go back into that dream. Perhaps I spend too much time here...