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S13.E09: Patisserie Week


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The semi-final in which the amateurs face a trio of patisserie challenges, comprising mini charlottes that demand great precision, a vertical challenge in the technical and a Swedish stowstopper. But who will be going through to the final?

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Bake Off needs some serious re-engineering.

Obviously, the challenges need to be scaled back to reasonable and aspiring to the average viewer.
I don't know whether they need to rethink the judges or presenters, but something needs to change if they don't want this to run out of steam in the next 3 years.

As for this week: a biscuit tower in patisserie week? Are the for real? Make that weird vertical tart a showstopper if you must and have run out of sensible ideas As a technical it is just face-palmingly stupid.
I need Sandro's midi charlotte in my mouth, damn that looked delicious. I also need his banana sponge recipe.
Losing Janusz is like losing Jurgen all over again.

I the over-gesticulating a new think with Paul, or have I just never noticed it before? Looks like wannabe-magicians-tourette.

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I hate feeling so underwhelmed and irritated going into the finale. I want to be excited and optimistic. But the show just isn't what it used to be.

However I thought the signature and technical challenges were pretty good this week. Both made sense as patisserie challenges. Charlottes are just removed enough from what a home cook might think to do, but still in the wheelhouse of what we can do. And they are delicious. I liked the sound of everybody's, especially Sandro's with the banana and caramel and chocolate. And I had to roll my eyes yet again as Paul and Prue acted like they never heard of peanuts before, and recoiled at the idea of peanut and fruit. PB&J is a thing all over the world now, okay? Just get into it. 

I think vertical tarts were a smart challenge too, although it was obvious they didn't have enough time to make and cool their tart mousses, hence everyone sticking them in the freezer, and Paul's universal criticism that the consistency was bad. Poor Sandro, not able to figure out that cutting his circles of mousse in half should give him semicircles.

The showstopper was, yeah, just another excuse to build a biscuit tower. I though Syabira's looked really impressive. She has been consistent in putting out really composed and elegant presentations, and this was no exception, down to the piping on the letters on the molecules. I liked Abdul's the best though, with the stained glass effect, even though it looked more like a Christmas tree to me than a rocket. He's been coming on really strong the last few weeks; I hope he gets the chance to show off even more of his potential in the final.

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I was very impressed with Syabira this week. She got some of the fiddly details right on the technical (such as why the rice was there) and I loved her DNA sculpture. I'm surprised we haven't been hit over the head all season that she's a computational biologist! Usually they remind us over and over and over if anyone has a special career niche. I wasn't as impressed with Abdul's showstopper; the bleeding of the colored windows onto the cookie bugged me. I guess it tasted great!

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6 hours ago, BellaBabe2022 said:

I would have had a touch choice deciding who should go home this week, but Sandro making the final despite burning the caramel, and not making an attempt to remake it, is a little hard to swallow.

I agree too. I feel like he should have been sent home. He burned his Carmel and was last in technical.

I'm glad that Abdul got star baker. It was bothering me that he was sort of just there the whole time and they didn't pay much attention to him. I think was Matt that said he might be the dark horse. At least he finally got star baker. 

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At this point, I don't care who wins.  I said 4 episodes back they tagged Syabira early to be the winner and I still think that. 

All of her submissions have had problems, but they still manage to give her the tongue baths over the stupidest things.   With the Charlottes, she did a freakin' peanut butter & jelly.  WTF is so unusual and exotic about that shit?  

This show is no longer must-see for me. 

Everybody but Noel can kiss my ass.  I'll put a layer of Crème Pat on it for them.....

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Glad that Abdul was named Star Baker. He is easy to root for because he isn’t taking any of it too seriously and is genuinely trying to improve.

Sandro keeps doing what they warn him not to do. Janusz seemed like a good guy and I was sorry to see him go. Syabira seems destined for the win.

Overall, this season has been disappointing but not due to the bakers themselves. The overly complicated challenges and the limits on time defeat the end goal of achieving beautiful looking, tasty creations. Or maybe that’s no longer the end goal of the show. 

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1 hour ago, SnapHappy said:

she did a freakin' peanut butter & jelly.

I'm not sure it can be compared to a PB&J. It was PB cheesecake and fresh berry mousse, wasn't it? It sounded pretty weird to me when she said what she was doing!

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Wow, so very underwhelmed. I feel sorry for this season's bakers. They've been given so many ridiculous non-baking challenges. And when they finally get to bake, they have to make yet another cookie tower.

The show isn't fun anymore. I like Noel and Matt, but Matt doesn't fit here. And even Noel has lost his sense of fun.

I want Abdul to win. He seems the most "real" to me. But honestly, there is so little that stands out from this season, it's been a huge snooze fest.

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I couldn't remember the name of the showstopper, so I kept calling them krakens. I like Abdul, but it feels like they gave him the win cuz he was going into the final without ever winning star baker. Prue was saying she wanted him to win it before they even started the week, then later she again said she was rooting for him. I did not find that appropriate for a judge.  

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I think it was basically a coin toss between Janusz and Sandro going home. Sandro had the better bake in the Showstopper, all of his layers were consistent and correct (crisp outside, chewy inside) plus Paul was really impressed with one of his flavors. That said, they keep warning him that doing too much is his downfall and he never seems to learn. It's very frustrating.

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 I said 4 episodes back they tagged Syabira early to be the winner and I still think that. 

All of her submissions have had problems, but they still manage to give her the tongue baths over the stupidest things.   With the Charlottes, she did a freakin' peanut butter & jelly.  WTF is so unusual and exotic about that shit?  

I'm not one to jump on the conspiracy bandwagon, but the judges said Syabira's mini Charlottes were "pretty" and I thought they looked terrible! They were the worst looking of the four. Granted, I've never heard of a mini Charlotte before so I don't know exactly how they should look, but I know the difference between pretty and not pretty. And those weren't.

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The overly complicated challenges and the limits on time defeat the end goal of achieving beautiful looking, tasty creations. Or maybe that’s no longer the end goal of the show. 

I don't think it is, sadly. I think there's are compounding problems that include the show trying to come up with new bake ideas to stay "fresh," which means they're getting really desperate for "new" things. Which leads to odder and odder, inappropriate things. Plus I think a lot of them are deliberately designed to be disasters because it's being run more like a reality show than a baking competition and they're more interesting in what they think makes "good TV" (i.e. total meltdowns) than successful bakes.

At the end of the day it's not really a contest to see who the best baker is. It's a contest to see who can bake the quickest with the least amount of problems. And that's very different.

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Some of these challenges have been more like science projects instead of baking. Next season I hope they bring back regular baking instead of these complicated, impossible challenges. 
I’m sad Janusz went home, I was rooting for him. I thought Sandro should have gone. Doesn’t matter,  Sybira will win next week. 

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6 hours ago, SnapHappy said:

With the Charlottes, she did a freakin' peanut butter & jelly.  WTF is so unusual and exotic about that shit?  

Right? Thank you! They were all “OMG…peanut butter and fruit? How unique!” And I was like “So none of you have had a PB&J?!”

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16 hours ago, BellaBabe2022 said:

Sandro making the final despite burning the caramel, and not making an attempt to remake it, is a little hard to swallow.

9 hours ago, blueray said:

He burned his Carmel and was last in technical.

I did think it should have been Sandro who went home.

4 hours ago, TVbitch said:

I kept calling them krakens.

me too!

4 hours ago, TVbitch said:

Prue was saying she wanted him to win it before they even started the week, then later she again said she was rooting for him. I did not find that appropriate for a judge.  

It did seem like they knew who they wanted to win and who they wanted to go home before any baking was done.

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6 hours ago, dleighg said:

I'm not sure it can be compared to a PB&J. It was PB cheesecake and fresh berry mousse, wasn't it? It sounded pretty weird to me when she said what she was doing!

Peanut butter and a fruit paired with any type of bread or cake has been combined for decades.  Nothing unusual.  It's PB&J. 

I just wish they'd stop trying to convince everybody that Syabira is some sort of flavor savant.  

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This was a very disappointing semifinal. The wrong person went home, the challenges were ridiculous, and the chemistry amongst the remaining contestants has left the tent.

I will watch the final because I am a completist. 

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It was kind of a toss up but I do think Sandro should have been the one to go. 

And his screw up on the technical sure proves that they don't look at each other's work!  In his defense, I had no idea what they were talking about until they uncovered the finished product.  Who would go to the trouble of making something so goofy?  It looked impossible to eat!

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I thought the vertical tart was interesting.  It's the sort of thing I would order out of curiosity if I saw it in a case.  As confused as they all were to start with they each ended up quite close to what it was meant to be.

I thought it would be Sandro that left, but they did have several comments about Janusz's bakes throughout the episode.

I was happy that Abdul made it into the final.  He had a clever approach by piping the cookie shapes.

Why were they making dry sugar caramel?  Two people burned it this episode alone.

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First, Maxy and now Janusz...ugh.  I did expect them to make the finale, but I still like the top 3 so I'm not too upset...anymore lol.  Sandro has good flavors and is ambitious, Syabira can bake very well, and Abdul is consistent. So, I think they have the potential to bring it in the finale as long as the challenges aren't too crazy.

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I love love love the bakers this season. I find their interactions and talking heads hilarious. Sandro is so earnest and tries so hard. Syabira is crazy levels of competence. Janusz is hilarious and I love that way Abdul plods along calmly. Janusz and Abdul have such sunny dispositions.

I'm enjoying this season. I think the contestants need more time for the challenges but it was very amusing to hear them rant during that vertical tart. They seem to have cast very well with people who can bake and who are amusing on TV.

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I’ve never seen such clunky looking patisserie on this show before. The “showstopper” was essentially a giant cookie stood up on one end.

None of the current season’s finalists would’ve been in the top eight in previous seasons. It seems like they gave Star Baker to Abdul because it would reflect poorly on the skills of the finalists if one of them wasn’t even the best during one week’s competition.

Matt Lucas has overstayed his welcome. Please bring back Sandi. She at least makes Noel somewhat bearable. 

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Aside from Syabira's awesome DNA cake, I thought this episode was almost unwatchable.  Mainly, what did any of have to do with patisserie, which is always one of my favorites.  There certainly were no sweet, dainty, beautifully decorated pastries.  Instead, there were massive bakes, not one of which had any decent piping (especially Sandro's, which is one reason I thought he should have been sent home).  

Also, I think Noel and Matt are probably very nice people, but here they are just awful.  Not funny, not helpful to the contestants (unless there is a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff). In fact, you could see how irritated some of them were (especially Syabira) to be bothered.

I just watched one of the Christmas shows and the difference in skill levels from this season is unbelievable.

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I definitely expect more from a patisserie week showstopper than a biscuit tower. Especially when they looked as rough and basic as these did. None of them looked finished, which is fine if they're supposed to be stark and minimalist, but Prue used words like "exquisite" to describe what they should look like.

If that's the standard you want, give them the time to create it. The biggest problem with Bake Off these days is the amount of time bakers are given. It's absolutely engineered to give them less time than they need, for dramatic purposes. That sucks. I want to see people produce their absolute best, not 'oh, that'll do. I'm out of time anyway.'

There was no delicacy or finesse in any of the challenges to begin with, let alone the results. It was all chunky pastry and biscuits and desserts. The "vertical tarts" could be fine patisserie, I guess, but they seem dumb and the impact of them really wasn't that impressive.

I'm glad Janusz went, because it was deserved (I still think the feedback he got for his showstopper a couple of weeks ago should have seen him saying goodbye). However, I'd have been equally satisfied with Sandro leaving, as his showstopper looked very dull and unfinished, and he apparently doesn't know what a semicircle is.

I'm glad Abdul got star baker, because he and Syabira are the only bakers who seem to be improving markedly. Sandro and Janusz have just been doing well with what they know and kind of scrambling with everything else (Janusz seems to only have two ways of decorating - rainbow colours or drip icing. Sometimes both together).

I'm pulling for Abdul to win now, because I think he's the one who has stepped up the most and he just gets on with things without any drama. Even his mishaps are met with a smile and redoubling efforts.

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On 11/9/2022 at 2:32 PM, Lois Sandborne said:

The showstopper was, yeah, just another excuse to build a biscuit tower. I though Syabira's looked really impressive. She has been consistent in putting out really composed and elegant presentations, and this was no exception, down to the piping on the letters on the molecules.

I wanted someone to give credit to nature for Syabira's tower.  The stability of her tower was due in large part to the structure of DNA--which in and of itself is an engineering masterpiece.  That being said, her attention to detail was astounding.  She even had the strands starting to separate!  We science nerds are celebrating 😊

14 hours ago, SHD said:

Right? Thank you! They were all “OMG…peanut butter and fruit? How unique!” And I was like “So none of you have had a PB&J?!”

How about an apple slice or banana and peanut butter?  I love that she did it because Paul hates PB. Good for her.

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I think we have a good bunch going into the final.  It's really anyone's to win at this point.  OK, fine, we all know Sandro is going to over-promise and under-deliver, but I won't complain having one more episode to watch him bake. 

I thought the vertical tart was a great technical challenge.  It was tough, but fitting of a semi-final.  I had no idea what they were talking about until they showed it, and I am really surprised that all of the bakers got to that end result.  I totally understand Sandro's confusion, and I loved his slow realization of oh... semicircles...  I don't understand how a mousse can be light and airy, yet still be firm enough to be cut in half and stand vertically, though.  I would order one of those from a patisserie.

I liked the mini-charlotte challenge, and I also was thinking that Sandro's forms were far too large when he started the bake.  But his flavors got rave reviews.  I was surprised that Abdul didn't do the ribbon tie thing, especially considering he was worried that his would come unwound.

I do not understand how the krakon fits into patisserie week.  While the separate elements may be common to patisserie elements, the end result does not say patisserie to me.

Let's see what weird-ass challenges they come up for for the final!

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And even Noel has lost his sense of fun.

I thought it was funny when Syabira told him to go away and he walked out of the tent and onto the lawn.

I also got a kick out of Janusz when Matt (?) said he jinxed Maxy by saying she'd be the finalist, so he turned right around and said "Syabira, you are the finalist!"

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Matt Lucas has overstayed his welcome. Please bring back Sandi. She at least makes Noel somewhat bearable. 

Ugh, hard disagree, I never warmed up to Sandi. Now, if they could get Mel and Sue back I'd be on board with that.

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Time for new hosts or even pare it down to one.  Matt is insufferable and the humor is totally lame.  Noel is getting on my last nerve as well, just blathers nonsense - even the contestants are giving him the side eye with his nonsense. 

And whoever writes those skits at the beginning needs to be fired.  Thank heavens for fast forward.

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1 hour ago, chaifan said:

I was surprised that Abdul didn't do the ribbon tie thing, especially considering he was worried that his would come unwound. 

I think he was planning to, but he ran out of time. He was really rushing to finish, and he said he was going to skip piping, so it sounded as if he was going to lose some of his planned decorative elements.

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21 hours ago, iMonrey said:

it's being run more like a reality show

It's exactly like Project Runway, where we see beautiful clothing design from competitors' entry submissions, followed by stupid design challenges and very little time that result in pinned seams, uneven hems, and crappy fit.

Sandro's mind set seems to be physical competition rather than baking competition. I think Janusz is the better baker, at least in this format.

Agree that this is wired for Syabira. I like that she has a scientific career.

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I agree that the Matt-and-Noel chatter can be pretty lame, but sometimes I get a good chuckle. For this episode, it was their mini-Charlotte competition.

Charlotte Church? Charlotte from Sex and the City? Princess Charlotte? Charlotte the spider for the win!

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45 minutes ago, Maya said:

I love Syabira! I think she’s sweet and funny and a very talented baker

yeah me too. I don't get so many people not liking her. She is talented. In the beginning of the season I did think she relied a bit too much on Malaysian flavors. But I don't think she's been doing that lately. She's got a bubbly personality. That's nice!

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6 hours ago, Cetacean said:

Time for new hosts or even pare it down to one.  Matt is insufferable and the humor is totally lame.  Noel is getting on my last nerve as well, just blathers nonsense - even the contestants are giving him the side eye with his nonsense. 

And whoever writes those skits at the beginning needs to be fired.  Thank heavens for fast forward.

I agree with most of the above but I still enjoy seeing Noel because he seems such an odd choice to host this show. And he seems to have a genuinely good, sweet rapport with the contestants. Maybe they should replace Matt with Julian Barratt.

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Prue used words like "exquisite" to describe what they should look like.

Not even close. None of them. Not a one. Talent? Time? Assignments? I like these people, so I'll blame TPTB. Mary Berry must be so glad not to be involved. Can practically hear her saying, that's not nearly enough time to do that!

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I'm going miss Janusz and his bubbly personality. But I think the over baked nature of his biscuit doomed him. Sandro won strictly on the flavor of his biscuit and it not being over baked (apparently they didn't taste the burnt caramel, holding it all together). Only Syabira's looked super good, but they pointed out for the structure to work she had to overbake her biscuits (anyone else love Abdul geeking about about the science of it all?)

Also I think of Janusz had realized, like Syabira, what the rice was for on the technical and put the parchment paper in, so the rice didn't bake into the biscuit he could've done much better in the technical as he's the only one that made a mousse and not a ganache.

Didn't the show used to show us more about the bakers at home throughout the season? not a quick dump in the first ep and then never again?

But something needs to change. I don't blame the bakers, they're still super supportive (eg: rushing to help Kevin when his custard cake was collapsing or Janusz helping Syabira with move her double helix) and try so hard (or in Sandro's case too hard), but as the Guardian pointed out there's a meaness in the critiques and the fact that bakers just aren't being given the time to make a quality product. When Paul and Prue are sitting there discussing the technical you know they didn't make the version they're discussing under pressure, if it at all, some production flunky probably makes the perfect ones they eat. Mary Berry was better at complimenting Paul's style, she had a warmth he lacks, Prue is less warm, though I think she's improved this season. And Noel and Matt are more annoying the bakers vs Sue and Mel (who we now know conspired against the producers and would cuss so the bakers melting down/crying wouldn't air).

The show doesn't have to  go back to the BBC days, but they need to have a rethink and for the love of God no more cooking, this is the bake off.

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On 11/12/2022 at 8:48 AM, cynicat said:

I wanted someone to give credit to nature for Syabira's tower.  The stability of her tower was due in large part to the structure of DNA--which in and of itself is an engineering masterpiece.  That being said, her attention to detail was astounding.  She even had the strands starting to separate!  We science nerds are celebrating 😊

Fair enough! 😄

On 11/12/2022 at 10:21 AM, chaifan said:

I totally understand Sandro's confusion, and I loved his slow realization of oh... semicircles...  I don't understand how a mousse can be light and airy, yet still be firm enough to be cut in half and stand vertically, though.

He is never going to outrun that mousse thing. They already made a lot of (hilarious) hay about it on Extra Slice this week, and I know it's going to come up again when he's on the show next week. Just a classic moment. But I'll say that when they announced that challenge and showed the example, I figured the bakers would be assembling the tarts flat and piping the mousse inside the rings, and maybe part of the challenge would be getting the proportions right for it to stand up once it set. I was confused by the whole concept of freezing and cutting out the shapes, and trying to fit them in after the fact. So yeah maybe Sandro wasn't the only lost one.

12 hours ago, Gwendolyn said:

When Paul and Prue are sitting there discussing the technical you know they didn't make the version they're discussing under pressure, if it at all, some production flunky probably makes the perfect ones they eat.

You can have some extra fun spotting the imperfections on the example plate while Paul and Prue are going on and on about what makes for a "perfect" technical. Back in the bygone days of the Masterclass episodes, I used to think Mary and Paul were more involved in the actual example baking, but I've since become more jaded, and I'm sure now that everything is made by production staff.

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