S06.E05: Heart and Soul

[RedDelicious]

1 hour ago, Pallas said:

While attending a liberal arts college, Malik is taking a literature course. One course (so far as we know), in his freshman year. It's not unheard of. After he takes advantage of his chance to gain a good humanities or sciences education -- and a baccalaureate respected on sight -- there is plenty of time for him to pursue a career or professional training.

 

36 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

Maybe he wants to open a Russian-Soul Food fusion restaurant?  (Sorry, my husband has been watching a lot of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives lately and I am amazed by some of the fusion options out there). 

My question is is he majoring in Russian Lit or was it just an elective course?  Because being a freshman I am guessing his choices for electives are pretty limited to whatever is open and fits in his schedule.

 

26 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I don’t know about Harvard’s requirements but my alma mater (also an Ivy) required us take a bunch of stuff freshman and sophomore years that didn’t have anything to do with what I majored in. My friend majored in astrophysics and took Ancient History of Mesopotamia to fulfill her history requirement (and loved it). If Harvard has a lit requirement (and I’d guess so), Malik could be taking Russian lit to fill it. As someone said, Russian lit is just novels. And college is a time to explore subjects you might be interested in.

 

17 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

Honestly, Malik taking a Russian Lit class as an elective isn't that weird. A lot of schools encourage freshman to take a lot of general studies classes for their first few semesters, they want them to get a broad education even outside of their major, and students will take more classes pertaining to their major once they have been a school for longer. Plus a lot of schools require students to take a certain amount of general classes and classes in areas like the arts, math, science, etc to make sure they are getting a complete education. My freshman year I was taking film studies, geology, archeology, kick boxing, a bunch of classes that I just found interesting, and focused more on classes pertaining to my major going into the second year. They encouraged students to take a lot of classes just for the love of learning and broadening students horizons. I am not sure about Harvard, but that's common at a lot of schools. Even ones focusing on things like the culinary arts.

I get it - I posted above that I thought Malik was majoring in Russian Literature.

That being said, Gen Eds and Electives (at my state school) were the BEST. I took Oceanography, Archeology, Astronomy as well as German and Spanish for my language requirements and then Tennis and Golf for my phys ed requirements. Best time of my life. We shot golf balls into hula hoops in the football stadium for hours. To be 20 and in college again. Le sigh. Oh! And I took Pottery and sang in the university chorus for my arts requirements. That was like free therapy. And I do work in my actual field of study, and have for my entire career.

[CountryGirl]

1 hour ago, ifionlyknew said:

The Deja Malik story might be more believable to me if Malik didn't look like he was 12.  It really takes me out of the story. And since it's a story I'm not enjoying it makes me really not care about it.

How many episodes are left?  Because it seems like we have a lot of ground to cover and they haven't moved the stories too much.  

There will be 18 episodes so there are 13 left.

[bichonblitz]

13 hours ago, Crs97 said:

I personally thought it was cruel of Kate to tell Rebecca she can’t be alone with the children.  I don’t disagree with the decision, but I would have handled it differently.  When we decided our parents shouldn’t watch our kids alone, we just made it happen without announcing our intention to any of them.

Exactly. Have Rebecca over for playdates with the kids when you are home, go out for ice cream together, family dinners, etc etc. Just don't ask her to babysit. No need to flat out tell her she can't be alone with the kids. Kate is so obnoxious. 

Does Deja have any girlfriends from school? Any body at all that she hangs out with? I never see this kid having fun. Or is she totally wrapped up in Malik? 

I love Beth! Eat the innerds of that pie, girl! 

Edited February 2, 2022 by bichonblitz

[CountryGirl]

I thought Malik was majoring in Russian Lit, too, and reading the books in Russian.

And why I would be that invested in Malik is beyond me. 

[Pallas]

Dan Fogelman went to Penn; he knows how college works. (I concede right here that he also knows the distance between Alpine, NJ -- where he was grew up -- and Philadelphia, where he went to college, but would rather not.) There's no reason for Malik to go to culinary school as an undergraduate; most of all, there's no reason for Malik to close the door on any top college or course of study, in order to tie himself to a career choice at 18. 

Here are Harvard's undergraduate concentrations (majors). 

[RedDelicious]

12 minutes ago, Pallas said:

Dan Fogelman went to Penn; he knows how college works. (I concede right here that he also knows the distance between Alpine, NJ -- where he was grew up -- and Philadelphia, where he went to college, but would rather not.) There's no reason for Malik to go to culinary school as an undergraduate; most of all, there's no reason for Malik to close the door on any top college or course of study, in order to tie himself to a career choice at 18. 

Here are Harvard's undergraduate concentrations (majors). 

I think the point is, why should Deja hang her hat on Malik's future when she has a future of her own to develop. We already know he's at a school that costs $60k+ a year and he has a child to support. That seems like an awful lot for one young woman to take on in a supporting role when she has her own goals and aspirations. 

[Aloeonatable]

1 hour ago, ifionlyknew said:

How many episodes are left?  Because it seems like we have a lot of ground to cover and they haven't moved the stories too much.  

There are 13 more episodes this season. Plenty of time to finish any unfinished storylines. 

As for Rebecca and Miguel, we first have to see why Miguel moves to Texas and cuts ties with Rebecca before we see them rekindle their relationship. I can see that happening in one episode. 

[Maurina]

Ooof this one cut really close to the bone for me on multiple levels - and multiple story lines.

Deja & Malik's Big Adult Adventure:  When I was 17, my life was going absolutely nowhere and I had actually dropped out of school (after having been kicked out of several).  I then announced that I was moving across the country 'start my life' even though the only thing I had waiting for me on the other end was a fold-out couch at a friend's apartment and the promise of a job washing dishes at the local IHOP.  My parents, understandably, were like 'ABSOLUTELY NOT' and told me I better go back to school right away and forget about moving anywhere.

I didn't go back to school. They didn't know what to do. I turned 18 three months later and was out the door like a shot.  There was no stopping me.  There was no real reason to do any of that - other than the fact that when I looked back at my teen many years later, I (and my psychiatrist) can see that I was going through severe undiagnosed mental health issues. 

Regardless, I get the idea that the mindset of a 17 year old can be "I am DOING THIS and it's TOTALLY GOING TO WORK".  Even though it's probably going to be a disaster.  Deja and Malik are very different characters (than teenage me) and they actually have a plan that can pass as reasonable - in the mindset of a 17 year old at least.

Dysfunctional Daughter & Mother:  I do remember several episodes over the course of the show that touched on (but didn't really explore) the problems these two had.  A lot of it had to do with well-meaning but damaging stuff that Rebecca did in terms of Kate's weight, self-image, singing abilities, etc.  And teenage Kate was horrible to her mom.  I cringe because again, I remember being pretty damn horrible to my mom for some of the same reasons.

Patching things up with a mom with whom you've had a very bumpy, difficult relationship is HARD.  I've come a long way with my own mom but it's still hard, we still let each other down sometimes. 

GED/College Conundrum:  GED's and community colleges can be a great way towards a four-year college.  Once I actually did get my shit together, I got serious about going back to school (albeit I was 20 at that point) and it started with remedial courses at a community college.  I busted my ass working full-time and going to school full-time, but I got through it and ended up at an Ivy League school.  It can be done.  Although if I'd had a live-in boyfriend with a kid as well - yeah, Deja, you're not completely thinking this through.

[JKL845]

4 hours ago, GeorgiaRai said:

This definitely foreshadowed a return of Sophie, which ... ugh.  Of Kevin's possibilites, my preferences are:
1. Madison
2. Cassidy
3. Random stranger
4. Sophie

Aww. Mine are:

1. Sophie

2. Sophie

3. Sophie

4. Did I mention Sophie! LOL

I know I'm in the minority here but I just love them together. I've only seen Kevin truly in love with Sophie, so I really want that for him. To finally get it right with her. 

[izabella]

1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Exactly. Have Rebecca over for playdates with the kids when you are home, go out for ice cream together, family dinners, etc etc. Just don't ask her to babysit. No need to flat out tell her she can't be alone with the kids. Kate is so obnoxious. 

I think Kate felt she had to say something because Rebecca was offering to stay with the kids while Kate was working or whatever, because Toby was out of town.  I guess she could have lied and said thanks, and then come up with excuses whenever Rebecca offered, but I think it was best that she was honest with her.

[CountryGirl]

26 minutes ago, JKL845 said:

Aww. Mine are:

1. Sophie

2. Sophie

3. Sophie

4. Did I mention Sophie! LOL

I know I'm in the minority here but I just love them together. I've only seen Kevin truly in love with Sophie, so I really want that for him. To finally get it right with her. 

6 minutes ago, izabella said:

I think Kate felt she had to say something because Rebecca was offering to stay with the kids while Kate was working or whatever, because Toby was out of town.  I guess she could have lied and said thanks, and then come up with excuses whenever Rebecca offered, but I think it was best that she was honest with her.

Do you know there was a moment where I thought Kate was going to tell her she and the kids were moving to San Francisco?

I do think Kate was in a tough position, but maybe could have softened it vs kind of blurting it out.

[himela]

4 hours ago, CountryGirl said:

I honestly feel as if Rebecca's only sin in Kate's eyes is that she isn't Jack.

And she is right. Jack was the parent who would love her the way she was. Rebecca was trying to change her.

[meep.meep]

2 hours ago, Jillybean said:

I really don't like the whole Cassidy overseeing house construction plot though. That's an excuse for her to still be around. I also don't understand Nicky's qualifications to oversee construction.

Cassidy and Nicky's total qualifications are that they live near the site while Kevin lives across the country.  The contractor can check with them if something needs to be resolved, and theoretically they can make sure that the work is continuing.

For those who loved the closing shots of Kate and Rebecca at the piano, thank Chris Sullivan who directed this episode.  I thought it was lovely.

[Ohiopirate02]

10 minutes ago, CountryGirl said:

Do you know there was a moment where I thought Kate was going to tell her she and the kids were moving to San Francisco?

I do think Kate was in a tough position, but maybe could have softened it vs kind of blurting it out.

I also thought that Kate was getting ready to talk to Rebecca about the family moving.  I also think that this was a case of bad writing and/or bad direction.  I get why Kate had that conversation with Rebecca, but it felt forced.  The previous scenes had Rebecca being a help to Kate and not a hindrance.  It might have worked if we had seen Rebecca fail at doing the laundry or washing dishes.  

[chocolatine]

2 hours ago, CountryGirl said:

I thought Malik was majoring in Russian Lit, too, and reading the books in Russian.

I didn't go to university in the US, but I'm pretty sure Russian Lit majors at American universities read the works in translation. You need to have native-level fluency in Russian to even begin to understand those novels, and for some of them you need to know other languages (In War And Peace some of the characters carry on long conversations in French).

[Madding crowd]

24 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I also thought that Kate was getting ready to talk to Rebecca about the family moving.  I also think that this was a case of bad writing and/or bad direction.  I get why Kate had that conversation with Rebecca, but it felt forced.  The previous scenes had Rebecca being a help to Kate and not a hindrance.  It might have worked if we had seen Rebecca fail at doing the laundry or washing dishes.  

 Rebecca’s doctors said she is declining and it really wouldn’t be safe to leave two toddlers with her, especially one that is blind. Rebecca could forget about them in a bath or accidentally start a fire or anything. I think it is better to be honest with her than try to make up excuses. Kate still wants Rebecca around the kids but I don’t think there is anyone who would let someone with declining dementia be alone with toddlers.

[scatteroflight]

The scene between Kate and Rebecca felt authentic to me, because Kate was so coddled as a girl and was such a Daddy's Girl, to boot. I also don't think you really understand who your parents are as people until you have some more life experience under your belt. They're parents; they don't have history and needs and wants and all the complexities that make us human! My favourite part of the Kate/Rebecca story tonight was when Rebecca was talking to Miguel about how overwhelmed and unsure she is, and then there was that shot of Kate eavesdropping, and the look on her face as the penny dropped. (Really great acting by teen Kate.) She actually thought about someone other than herself for just a moment. Too bad it didn't last.

Regarding Deja, don't kill me, but I think she had a bit of a point about her maturity. But only a bit. She has experienced far more than most girls her age. She was the de facto adult when she lived with her mom, and she had to grow up fast due to Shauna's inability to parent. That said, she has no idea what awaits her if she moves in with Malik and his daughter. I was in my 40s before I moved in with my boyfriend and his daughter, and there are still days when it's a lot.  Add to that the pressure of finishing high school and starting college, and it's just a recipe for disaster. Still, I think Beth had a point when she told Randall that his approach would only backfire. So what now? 

Kevin... oh, Kevin. He's such a mess. I never liked Cassidy, but her response to Kevin fully brought me around. Not to them as a couple, but I'd watch the hell out of Cassidy dropping truth bombs on all the Pearsons. How refreshing.

 

 

[Ohiopirate02]

5 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

 Rebecca’s doctors said she is declining and it really wouldn’t be safe to leave two toddlers with her, especially one that is blind. Rebecca could forget about them in a bath or accidentally start a fire or anything. I think it is better to be honest with her than try to make up excuses. Kate still wants Rebecca around the kids but I don’t think there is anyone who would let someone with declining dementia be alone with toddlers.

I completely agree that this was a necessary conversation, I just don't like how the show handled it.  It felt like the show either chose not to write the scenes leading up to it or they edited those scenes out.  The moment could have happened more organically over the episode.  The show could have cut the whole Deja Malik nonsense and focused more on the Kate-Rebecca relationship and given the character of Kate more depth and Chrissy more work as an actress.  It's heartbreaking that Kate is finally at a good place with her mother knowing how little time they have left.  We got to see a good day for them, a day that Kate will remember even if Jack and Hailey are too young all the while Kate knows she has to have this necessary conversation with her mother.  

[Hedgehog2022]

On 2/1/2022 at 10:18 PM, ams1001 said:

When Deja talks in that super-calm voice she sounds almost threatening...

I find her intolerable. The rolling of the eyes, the snark, the deliberate disrespectful attitude towards Randall...I just don't like her. And furthermore, Beth was wrong. You're a parent to a minor. Your responsibilty as a parent is to protect, love and take care of a child completely...which sometimes means doing the hard stuff like telling a minor child that they cannot move to city six hours away to be with a boyfriend. Beth keeps comparing Deja and Malik to her relationship with Randall when they were young. Big difference...Beth and Randall were college freshmen. They had finished high school and were 18. If Deja insists on pushing her agenda and runs away, then she will soon see how hard life will be without the support system she has with her family. Randall is right.

Edited February 3, 2022 by Hedgehog2022

[Ohiopirate02]

6 minutes ago, Hedgehog2022 said:

I find her intolerable. The rolling of the eyes, the snark, the deliberate disrespectful attitude towards Randall...I just don't like her. And furthermore, Beth was wrong. You're a parent to a minor. Your responsibilty as a parent is to protect, love and take care of a child completely...which sometimes means doing the hard stuff like telling a minor child that they cannot move to city six hours away to be with a boyfriend. Beth keeps comparing Deja and Malik to her relationship with Randall wheh they were young. Big difference...Beth and Randall were college freshmen. They had finished high school and were 18. If Deja insists on pushing her agenda and runs away, then she will soon see how hard life will be without the support system she has with her family. Randall is right.

I understand Beth not wanting to be her mother, but sometimes it's what necessary.  She was way too accepting with Deja and Malik.  

[jrzy]

17 hours ago, buttersister said:

My favorite moment tonight was Beth sitting at the table alone, demolishing that blueberry pie. 

But I would watch a Nick and Edie spinoff. 

It drives me crazy that no-one ever finishes a meal on television!  so I loved to see Beth eating that danged pie!  

[Boo Boo]

I really enjoyed this episode.  One of their better ones.  The speed dates were hilarious!

[Hedgehog2022]

4 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I understand Beth not wanting to be her mother, but sometimes it's what necessary.  She was way too accepting with Deja and Malik.  

Exactly...

[tvmom]

1 hour ago, CountryGirl said:

Do you know there was a moment where I thought Kate was going to tell her she and the kids were moving to San Francisco?

So did I! 

[Tdoc72]

15 hours ago, Jeddah said:

If someone doesn’t graduate from high school, they can take a test to get a GED. It’s supposed to be equal to a high school diploma, but a lot of people look down on GEDs.

ETA: I thought it was Graduate Equivalency Degree, but Google is telling me it’s General Education Development.

Remind me of Chris Rock—it’s a Good Enough Diploma. 

[ams1001]

3 hours ago, Medicine Crow said:

I've never been the kind to question the casting in my "shows", BUT Malik SO does not "fit the script".  Seeing him takes me right out of the scene.  He & Dega (sp?) are definitely NOT a match!!  (He's a short man who looks like a child.)

When they were sitting next to each other at dinner, it was kind of jarring how much younger he looks. They didn't look quite so mismatched before; she has matured since last season, and he hasn't.

3 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

I get it - I posted above that I thought Malik was majoring in Russian Literature.

That being said, Gen Eds and Electives (at my state school) were the BEST. I took Oceanography, Archeology, Astronomy as well as German and Spanish for my language requirements and then Tennis and Golf for my phys ed requirements. Best time of my life. We shot golf balls into hula hoops in the football stadium for hours. To be 20 and in college again. Le sigh. Oh! And I took Pottery and sang in the university chorus for my arts requirements. That was like free therapy. And I do work in my actual field of study, and have for my entire career.

I guess I'm just going off my own experience (which, granted, was 25 years ago! and at a much smaller school) but I didn't get to choose electives my first semester, and a focused lit class like that is not something they would have put incoming freshmen into. We had freshman composition and other basic core requirements. We got our schedule at summer orientation, and there were really only two choices we got to make. One was to drop a class they put us in if we had a reason to (it came with a drop form; I dropped swimming and chose other gym classes in later semesters), and the other was to choose our top three "freshman seminar" topics (everyone took one in the first semester; there were several options each with a specific topic but the basic purpose of all of them was sort of a "how to be a college student" kind of thing - library tour, writing a research paper, doing a presentation...) and we found out at fall registration which one we got (I did not get my first choice, unfortunately). I dunno, I'm sure things are different from when I was in school.

1 hour ago, CountryGirl said:

Do you know there was a moment where I thought Kate was going to tell her she and the kids were moving to San Francisco?

I thought the same thing.

I think they should have had that conversation with Miguel there, too.

[CountryGirl]

42 minutes ago, Hedgehog2022 said:

I find her intolerable. The rolling of the eyes, the snark, the deliberate disrespectful attitude towards Randall...I just don't like her. And furthermore, Beth was wrong. You're a parent to a minor. Your responsibilty as a parent is to protect, love and take care of a child completely...which sometimes means doing the hard stuff like telling a minor child that they cannot move to city six hours away to be with a boyfriend. Beth keeps comparing Deja and Malik to her relationship with Randall wheh they were young. Big difference...Beth and Randall were college freshmen. They had finished high school and were 18. If Deja insists on pushing her agenda and runs away, then she will soon see how hard life will be without the support system she has with her family. Randall is right.

I agree there is a world of difference in those 2 years between 16-18. 

I also don't see the parallels between Beth/Randall and Deja/Malik. Last time I checked, neither Beth or Randall had a toddler when they were at college. Something also tells me that if Rebecca had had an issue with Beth (unthinkable because it's Beth!), Randall would have capitulated. 

[madmax]

18 hours ago, greekmom said:

I like the worst case scenario game.

I'm guessing the Deja/Malik plan doesn't go through since she ends up becoming a doctor.  She did become a doctor - right?
 

I love the worst case scenario game.  I could come up with some pretty good ones.

And it's possible they're still together in the future.  Maybe someone came to their senses and Deja stayed in school.

18 hours ago, DoubleUTeeEff said:

When Randall and Beth were playing worst case scenario, the look on Beth's face after she came up with Deja adopting Malik's daughter and all 3 of them moving in and living with them forever was so funny.

This was great!  I liked how Beth won the game.

17 hours ago, txhorns79 said:

Eh, Kate is a 20-something calling her mom a slut because she went on a date.  I was fine with the slap.

I thought she was still a teen?  I can't remember how long it was supposed to have been since Jack died, and he died when they were 16, I think.

1 hour ago, CountryGirl said:

Do you know there was a moment where I thought Kate was going to tell her she and the kids were moving to San Francisco?

That was my exact thought.  But I do understand her not leaving Rebecca with the kids.  I actually thought, when Rebecca was meeting her at the school, "Will Rebecca get lost?"  I wouldn't think she should still be driving or babysitting.

1 hour ago, himela said:

And she is right. Jack was the parent who would love her the way she was. Rebecca was trying to change her.

How is Rebecca trying to change her?  

 

I actually liked most of this episode for a change.  Deja and Malik didn't bother me as much as usual.  But Beth and Randall need to put the foot down.  

Kevin's storyline was good.  I like Cassidy and hoped she was endgame, but she's right, they're not good for each other.  Nicky and his gal (can't remember her name yet.  Edie?) were great and Kevin and Nicky's convo was hysterical.

Young Kate was so obnoxious but Hannah was fantastic.

[txhorns79]

16 minutes ago, madmax said:

I thought she was still a teen?  I can't remember how long it was supposed to have been since Jack died, and he died when they were 16, I think.

My recollection was they were 17 when Jack died in 1998.  Miguel and Rebecca were watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire on tv, so I thought it was now 2000, but I looked it up, and it's possible it may be 1999. 

[MissLucas]

Sometimes I like to rewrite episode titles in the old-timey way, so this one would be 'Episode 6 - which incites a gargoyle* of WTFs from gentlefolk watching'.

The insanity of Malik and Deja's great plan has already been outlined in fine details. What  surprised me was that neither Beth nor Randall were bringing up Malik's parents. They might not have any legal sway over Malik anymore but I'm sure they would like to have a word in this discussion too.

The Kate and Rebecca plot was well done, it's just that I stopped caring a long time ago about their relationship. Could we finally get more on Rebecca and Miguel?

Oh Kevin, go get thee to some more therapy. I still like Cassidy but she was right. However I'm also wary that this leads us back to Sophie. This is getting as tedious as Ted and Robin.

Nicky and Edie for the win!

*I also like to make up collective nouns

[kili]

Quote

If Harvard has a lit requirement (and I’d guess so), Malik could be taking Russian lit to fill it. As someone said, Russian lit is just novels. And college is a time to explore subjects you might be interested in.

Totally agree that is what college is for and I would be supportive of Malik if he wasn't dragging Deja down to get that experience. Deja is willing to give up her final year of high school and reduce her chances of getting into a good university to help Malik live his dream. He's told her how much he is struggling, so he's aware of that struggle he is encouraging her take on. He knows how hard it is to get into Harvard, so surely he must understand that somebody who gets their GED and then spends a year (or years) working to support him and babysit his child is going to have a harder time getting into a place like Harvard than somebody who had the luxury of living at home with their parents support and finishing high school like he did.

He is trading his dream of Harvard and exploring courses for hers. He gets all he ever wanted and a 17 year old girl who has faced more struggles than she should picks up the slack for other choices he made before she even knew him.  He should admit that and show his love for her and encourage her to not take on this burden. If they truly are Romeo and Juliette, then Romeo can be there waiting for her when she finishes her time to explore and grow.

Deja's not making great choices, but she is dealing with years of dysfunction while growing up. He's just being selfish.

And I don't understand Beth comparing herself to Randall. Sure, they were both madly and love, but neither Beth nor Randall were making stupid decisions. They were helping each other and being sensible.

If we want to compare the great Deja/Malik romance to somebody on this show, compare it to Kevin and Sophie. While they were at least in a better position of having both graduated, not  having a three year old to support and not having to interact with the ex who has shared custody, they followed their dream of being together straight out of school while one studied and one worked and it all exploded spectacularly. 

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, madmax said:

I thought she was still a teen?  I can't remember how long it was supposed to have been since Jack died, and he died when they were 16, I think.

Jack died when they were 17. I think Kate was supposed to be college-aged here since she's the only one still at home during that phase of their lives - Kevin was in LA trying to act and Randall was in college.

I don't think my mother would have slapped me if I'd called her a slut, but I for SURE couldn't have just walked around her house like shit was cool afterward. I think I'd have to find a new place to live.

Beth's face when she "won" worst-case scenario (Deja adopting Malik's daughter and them all living with Randall and Beth) had me rolling. Beth in general was great this episode. "I ain't heard a knock-knock joke in this house for a smooth 7 years." And her " ... what?" when Tess asked about her work was hilarious.

I really liked everyone calling Kevin on his shit. Not shit, exactly, but ... ways. You could tell he was stung by the idea that he'd blown up lives - I think he does want to be a good guy, and at the core he is, but Cassidy wasn't wrong. 

(My unpopular opinion is that I don't care who he ends up with, and think it would be better if he ended up a single dad who dates every so often. I think it would show a lot more growth. Of the options, Madison is my least favorite - I never warmed to the character.)

Vanessa Bell Calloway is so beautiful. I love this for Nicky. They were adorable.

16 minutes ago, kili said:

Totally agree that is what college is for and I would be supportive of Malik if he wasn't dragging Deja down to get that experience. Deja is willing to give up her final year of high school and reduce her chances of getting into a good university to help Malik live his dream.

Yes - and as someone else in the thread pointed out, Malik did what he wanted to do and left. If he was THAT in love with Deja that he couldn't bear to be apart from her, he could have gone to one of the five local schools he got into (I think it was five). Deja has ... not much to gain from this experience, if we're being really real - living with a guy who's in college, working, and raising a daughter isn't going to be like the magical weekend they spent together. It's going to be a lot of drudgery. Malik has everything to gain - he has an extra pair of hands to help with his daughter and help him study.

(Wasn't Deja calling Randall Dad at one point?)

16 minutes ago, kili said:

If we want to compare the great Deja/Malik romance to somebody on this show, compare it to Kevin and Sophie. While they were at least in a better position of having both graduated, not  having a three year old to support and not having to interact with the ex who has shared custody, they followed their dream of being together straight out of school while one studied and one worked and it all exploded spectacularly. 

Do we know the circumstances behind Kevin cheating? I assume he cheated because he could - he was young, good-looking, and his career was taking off, and that gave him options. I am not sure how long they were married before he cheated.

 

 

Edited February 2, 2022 by Empress1

[CountryGirl]

I love Beth every episode, but the bit about it being “a smooth 7 years since I’ve heard a knock-knock joke in this house” reminded me they haven’t been in the house that many years. The show hasn’t even been on the air that long. 

I know, such a nitpicker. 

[brokenwing29]

12 minutes ago, CountryGirl said:

I love Beth every episode, but the bit about it being “a smooth 7 years since I’ve heard a knock-knock joke in this house” reminded me they haven’t been in the house that many years. The show hasn’t even been on the air that long. 

I know, such a nitpicker. 

Same here. Also Deja knew that Annie used to tell knock knock jokes and Deja hasn't been with them for seven years. So we'll have to assume that Beth was exaggerating for effect.

[Crs97]

3 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

Rebecca’s doctors said she is declining and it really wouldn’t be safe to leave two toddlers with her, especially one that is blind. Rebecca could forget about them in a bath or accidentally start a fire or anything. I think it is better to be honest with her than try to make up excuses. Kate still wants Rebecca around the kids but I don’t think there is anyone who would let someone with declining dementia be alone with toddlers.

But then I also wouldn't have let her drive to and from my home by herself.

 

Yes, I think Deja has been calling Randall Dad; I noticed when she called him Randall and I took it as a power move by her.  That's when he left the table, right?  Deja is insufferable, and I don't care about her or Malik.  They are just wasting my time. 

 

 

 

Edited February 3, 2022 by Crs97

[madmax]

53 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

(Wasn't Deja calling Randall Dad at one point?)

I caught that and immediately thought that her calling him Randall was basically saying "You're not my dad."

[Empress1]

16 minutes ago, madmax said:

I caught that and immediately thought that her calling him Randall was basically saying "You're not my dad."

Yeah, it was a power move - but Randall is the only dad Deja has ever had, which she has even acknowledged. (That is one of my favorite Randall clips. "I don't think so, Jennifah!") Her bio father was never in the picture, she wasn't bonded to any of her foster dads until Randall, and I remember her mother having a few boyfriends that Deja didn't really care about either. 

I think she has always called Beth Beth because she DID have a mother in her life that she was bonded to, though, so it might feel wrong to her to call Beth Mom.

[Scarlett45]

4 hours ago, Hedgehog2022 said:

I find her intolerable. The rolling of the eyes, the snark, the deliberate disrespectful attitude towards Randall...I just don't like her. And furthermore, Beth was wrong. You're a parent to a minor. Your responsibilty as a parent is to protect, love and take care of a child completely...which sometimes means doing the hard stuff like telling a minor child that they cannot move to city six hours away to be with a boyfriend. Beth keeps comparing Deja and Malik to her relationship with Randall wheh they were young. Big difference...Beth and Randall were college freshmen. They had finished high school and were 18. If Deja insists on pushing her agenda and runs away, then she will soon see how hard life will be without the support system she has with her family. Randall is right.

Also- Beth and Randall were enrolled in school and DATING. They met because they were in the same university. They weren’t playing house and raising a child. Yeah they lived together before getting married but they were both out of college by then most likely. 
 

No one is saying Deja and Malik can’t date any more. Dating is not the same as shacking up, leaving school and raising a child. Deja needs more boundaries. I get why she doesn’t have them (Randall & Beth have so much guilt about how hard of a life she had before her adoption), but Randall & Beth need to course correct. 

 

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Jack died when they were 17. I think Kate was supposed to be college-aged here since she's the only one still at home during that phase of their lives - Kevin was in LA trying to act and Randall was in college.

I don't think my mother would have slapped me if I'd called her a slut, but I for SURE couldn't have just walked around her house like shit was cool afterward. I think I'd have to find a new place to live.

Beth's face when she "won" worst-case scenario (Deja adopting Malik's daughter and them all living with Randall and Beth) had me rolling. Beth in general was great this episode. "I ain't heard a knock-knock joke in this house for a smooth 7 years." And her " ... what?" when Tess asked about her work was hilarious.

I really liked everyone calling Kevin on his shit. Not shit, exactly, but ... ways. You could tell he was stung by the idea that he'd blown up lives - I think he does want to be a good guy, and at the core he is, but Cassidy wasn't wrong. 

(My unpopular opinion is that I don't care who he ends up with, and think it would be better if he ended up a single dad who dates every so often. I think it would show a lot more growth. Of the options, Madison is my least favorite - I never warmed to the character.)

Vanessa Bell Calloway is so beautiful. I love this for Nicky. They were adorable.

Yes - and as someone else in the thread pointed out, Malik did what he wanted to do and left. If he was THAT in love with Deja that he couldn't bear to be apart from her, he could have gone to one of the five local schools he got into (I think it was five). Deja has ... not much to gain from this experience, if we're being really real - living with a guy who's in college, working, and raising a daughter isn't going to be like the magical weekend they spent together. It's going to be a lot of drudgery. Malik has everything to gain - he has an extra pair of hands to help with his daughter and help him study.

(Wasn't Deja calling Randall Dad at one point?)

Do we know the circumstances behind Kevin cheating? I assume he cheated because he could - he was young, good-looking, and his career was taking off, and that gave him options. I am not sure how long they were married before he cheated.

 

 

That’s what I always thought. Also it could’ve been an instance where he was jealous of the attention Sophie gave to someone else (even if it wasn’t cheating) and did it to “get back at her” not realizing she would actually leave him. Long distance is hard and he and Sophie had been dating since middle school. I can imagine he would be tempted by other women. 
 

 I don’t think Sophie and Kevin were married long. Less than two years (because he was NYC for a bit and then LA where he cheated). 

[Scarlett45]

I watched the scene with Teen Kate & Rebecca- WHAT in the hell was that girl smoking going off in her Mom like that over nothing? Had she lost her damn mind?

Was she angry about her abortion? And just started swinging at the closest person?** 

Kate had always been so disrespectful and flippant of her mother for no visible reason, she only started behaving “normally” when she had Jack. In that instance I just feel so sorry for Rebecca and not an ounce of sympathy for Kate. Yes I know she’s the child in the relationship but she started it, and KEPT GOING. Who talks to their parents that way just out of the blue?

 

**which I am sure Rebecca would’ve went with her and supported her if she had TOLD HER, it was her choice not to tell her mom or brothers. Which was her right, but still not okay to take her anger out on her Mom if that was the thing.

 

If Kevin Pearson or Justin Hartley offered me sexy times I would not turn it down, but Cassidy had a point. Zoe was the only one who had sense enough to get out of the relationship at the right time. 

[cameron]

The actor that portrays Malik certainly doesn't look healthy in this episode - sunken cheekbones, etc.

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, Empress1 said:

If he was THAT in love with Deja that he couldn't bear to be apart from her, he could have gone to one of the five local schools he got into (I think it was five). Deja has ... not much to gain from this experience, if we're being really real - living with a guy who's in college, working, and raising a daughter isn't going to be like the magical weekend they spent together. It's going to be a lot of drudgery. Malik has everything to gain - he has an extra pair of hands to help with his daughter and help him study.

This!

[Empress1]

6 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

If Kevin Pearson or Justin Hartley offered me sexy times I would not turn it down, but Cassidy had a point. Zoe was the only one who had sense enough to get out of the relationship at the right time. 

Zoe is my favorite of his exes but you're right. (And interestingly, I think Justin Hartley is on his third wife - seems like he, like Kevin, has a hard time being alone.) And Cassidy was down for sex but not all the other stuff that comes with being with Kevin - she's not made of stone! (Neither am I. I'd 100% have sex with him.)

[Madding crowd]

1 hour ago, Crs97 said:

But then I also wouldn't have let her drive to and from my home by herself.

 

Yes, I think Deja has been calling Randall Dad; I noticed when she called him Randall and I took it as a power move by her.  That's when he left the table, right?  Deja is insufferable, and I don't care about her or Malik.  They are just wasting my time. 

 

 

 

Kate doesn’t have a power of attorney over Rebecca and can’t control her driving. She can control who is alone with her children. I didn’t see that she drove herself and thought they made it clear in previous episodes that she was now using ride shares, but I may have missed it if they showed her driving.

[buttersister]

So in my mind, Malik took a Russian Lit class because it sounded romantic and Deja thinks this is a good idea because she's spent the majority of her life as a caretaker and it's left a mark (also, sexy time with Malik must have made an impression). Doesn't matter to me--I know where she ends up. 

[Scarlett45]

14 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Zoe is my favorite of his exes but you're right. (And interestingly, I think Justin Hartley is on his third wife - seems like he, like Kevin, has a hard time being alone.) And Cassidy was down for sex but not all the other stuff that comes with being with Kevin - she's not made of stone! (Neither am I. I'd 100% have sex with him.)

Justin Hartley is trash- but he is still fine as hell so I would give him a tumble! I’ve been lusting since 2001!

 

I loved Zoë too. 
 

I think Kevin is “spoiled for choice”- he’s an extremely hot wealthy guy, he’s used to female attention whenever he wanted it. Now he’s getting older and he’s realized his emotional needs aren’t being met because it was all superficial. The person he was closest to (his twin sister) is now married and raising two kids, of course she still loves him and they are still close, but she doesn’t have the time to give to him like she used to. 

[Empress1]

6 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Justin Hartley is trash

Is he? I’d never heard of him before this show.

[Ohiopirate02]

Just now, Empress1 said:

Is he? I’d never heard of him before this show.

Yeah, he's trash.  His second wife,  Chrishell Strause is an agent on Selling Sunset over on Netflix.   The second season shows her side of their divorce.   He blindsided her when he filed, and possibly cheated on her with wife #3.

[Scarlett45]

8 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

Is he? I’d never heard of him before this show.

Taking this to his thread. 

[chocolatine]

7 minutes ago, buttersister said:

So in my mind, Malik took a Russian Lit class because it sounded romantic and Deja thinks this is a good idea because she's spent the majority of her life as a caretaker and it's left a mark (also, sexy time with Malik must have made an impression). Doesn't matter to me--I know where she ends up. 

It doesn't sound romantic, it sounds pretentious.

[PRgal]

10 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Yeah, he's trash.  His second wife,  Chrishell Strause is an agent on Selling Sunset over on Netflix.   The second season shows her side of their divorce.   He blindsided her when he filed, and possibly cheated on her with wife #3.

Wife #3, huh?  Anyone who married more than twice and NOT due to the death of a spouse has issues…

Edited February 3, 2022 by PRgal