S06.E03: Four Fathers

[ams1001]

48 minutes ago, Blackie said:

Was this planned to be the last season, or did they just decide to wrap it up? I thought there was still a few more seasons to come. Anyways so far I find this season boring and like they have changed all the plots to wrap it up sooner than originally planned. Not enjoying it at all (except for Baby Jack)

It was always planned to be six seasons, as far as I know. Who knew it'd feel like at least one season too long by the time we got here..? I will watch because I want to know what happens, but I'm glad it will be over soon.

[PRgal]

I also want to LOL at Deja calling Randall’s music, “old man music.”  Because, well, EXCUSE ME (this means Jewel, Alanis, Sarah McLachlan et al I listened to is “Old Lady Music”)!!!

[CarpeFelis]

9 hours ago, Leeds said:

I hated the driving lesson scene:

The learner needs to be fully concentrating on driving and driving alone.  No distractions like music/the radio, never mind bickering about what to listen to.  No chitchat.  The learner's phone should have been turned off before the lesson started.  The learner should have been taught that you glance at your mirrors -- the amount of time Deja spent looking at her mirrors would have had her swerving off course/rear ending someone.  (Same with all the scenes in films and TV shows when the driver and passenger have long conversations while looking at each other longingly/angrily/confusedly.)

Maybe this belongs in the Pet Peeves thread!

And one more thing: it seems all TV writers think you have to mention “10 and 2” in any driving lesson scene, but it’s been known for at least a decade that in a car with airbags (and just how many cars these days don’t have them?), 9 and 3 is safer because of the severity of arm injuries incurred if your hands are at 10 and 2 when the driver’s airbag deploys. This article is from TEN YEARS AGO, FFS: Get with the times: You’re driving all wrong

This is right up there with TV tropes like:

• anyone being chased by a car or having a rifle pointed at them (looking at you, Dexter: New Blood) must run away from it in a straight line with no attempts to get out of the way or dodge it
• all Pearsons must give A Speech
• all TV characters must pronounce “temperature” without that first r, as if they’ve watched that stupid All Temp-A-Cheer commercial a million times too many. But this doesn’t, like, BUG THE CRAP OUT OF ME or anything…

What was Deja thinking with that “that’s going to be a problem” retort? She’s not exactly in any position to be calling the shots. Even if she were pregnant, as some commenters have theorized, it’s way too soon to know it.

Edited January 20, 2022 by CarpeFelis

[KaveDweller]

 

2 hours ago, Chewy101 said:

You mean his sister's couch? I'm sorry, but this girl has been more lenient than anyone in real life would, and It is not a couple I would attack, just because Kevin missed some stuff. Sadly, they are more functional that any other couple on the show. 

She has been lenient, yes, and I agree they are very functional. But it still seems to be a silly arrangement. Kevin wants more time with his kids, he has money, his job does not require him to be away or to even work that many hours. Why not get his own place and ask for having the kids stay with him a few nights a week.  It would be easier for both of them. I don't think Madison would deny that request, she has been very agreeable to him having access to the kids.

If he actually got his own place and she did deny him access, I can't imagine a judge ruling against Kevin having some time of shared custody. I would hate to see the show go there though, it is so cliche.

[Chewy101]

51 minutes ago, KaveDweller said:

If he actually got his own place and she did deny him access, I can't imagine a judge ruling against Kevin having some time of shared custody. I would hate to see the show go there though, it is so cliche.

Doesn't this show have enough bad guys? Can't one character be sincere? 

Edited January 20, 2022 by Chewy101

[LeisureTime]

Last season I really wanted Kevin and Madison to work out and was disappointed when they didn't, but I'm also really digging this story line. I seriously thought that text at the end though was going to be to Kevin's lawyer to start the proceedings on getting joint custody of Nick and Frannie.

[Hedgehog2022]

2 hours ago, Cheyanne11 said:

Deja's attitude last night was pretty bratty, considering how easy she got off.  "That's going to be a  problem" would've been met with "I'll show you a problem" had I mouthed off to my parents like that. 

Smoked meats cause more divorces than infidelity or finances.  Makes sense.

Baby Jack was so cute repeating everything his parents said--though I could've done with 50% less "babes" from Kate.

Totally agree with you about Deja...my Dad would have said , "What did you say???" And would have proceeded to start emptying my room out of all my prized possessions. 

[Dowel Jones]

I had to laugh when Beth ranted out that "she's not getting this (her phone) back until there's an iPhone 30!"  Uh, Beth, that'll be around August...

That theater guy was classic.  "I think he mighta gone down to the food court, but I'm kinda....stoned, so there's that."  A model of upward mobility, he was.

[buckboard]

10 hours ago, Domenicholas said:

Kate hasn't moved to San Francisco because she loves her job

She apparently loves her job more than her marriage.  That's what stopped her from moving north with Toby?  There are no schools for the blind in the Bay Area? 

Then she gets all bent out of shape that Toby isn't living with the family in L.A., although he only took the job in S.F. when he couldn't find work in L.A.  He's putting a lot of effort into getting home every week to be with his family, but I don't see her making any effort to go to S.F. to be with him.  Or working on how to make the situation work.

I'd forgotten that for a while when he was transitioning between jobs, my dad worked away from home M-F and we saw him when he came home on the weekend.  He always brought toys for my sister and me.  It was the way things had to be for a time, but no one got all bent out of shape about it.

  

   

 

[chocolatine]

13 minutes ago, buckboard said:

She apparently loves her job more than her marriage.  That's what stopped her from moving north with Toby?  There are no schools for the blind in the Bay Area? 

I don't blame Kate for not moving right away. Last season they said Toby would only keep the SF job until he finds another one in LA, and Kate has her mother, brother, and only best friend in LA. If Toby ends up loving the job and getting a huge promotion and more competitive salary than he could get in LA, then it would make sense for Kate and the kids to move.

[JudyObscure]

21 hours ago, Pallas said:

Beth wants their daughter to be in charge of her own contraception, and that makes sense for any girl or woman, at any age. Beth also wants the peace of mind of knowing which form of birth control Deja is using and why. 

I agree with that one hundred percent.  Women should never rely on men for birth control, but men shouldn't  rely on women either.  If Malik reached for a condom and they decided not to show it, knowing many of us would be holding our breath to see it, then that's the show's fault not ours for suspecting what we didn't see didn't happen.

[debraran]

8 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

I agree with that one hundred percent.  Women should never rely on men for birth control, but men shouldn't  rely on women either.  If Malik reached for a condom and they decided not to show it, knowing many of us would be holding our breath to see it, then that's the show's fault not ours for suspecting what we didn't see didn't happen.

That is true, no BC is perfect but no one should count on the other. You take care of you. It's not just for babies with condoms, it helps with STD's. I feel without shouting, shows can show or have it implied in 2022, people are wiser than 40 years ago. The "accidents" are still as prevalent on TV, I feel more than the 70's when I grew up.

 

 

[JudyObscure]

Randall's driving lesson:  "Okay, now that you've started the car and slid into heavy traffic, let's have a deep conversation."  I've been driving for many years, but whenever I start out with first time passengers, I tell them I can't talk and drive at the same time.  They can talk among themselves but don't address me or ask me questions.

[debraran]

4 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Randall's driving lesson:  "Okay, now that you've started the car and slid into heavy traffic, let's have a deep conversation."  I've been driving for many years, but whenever I start out with first time passengers, I tell them I can't talk and drive at the same time.  They can talk among themselves but don't address me or ask me questions.

OMG, this was such a fail. No radio or music, no reputable driving ed instructor would do that and phones are silenced. I'm surprised the writers who must have kids, wrote that so badly just to get the voice text. That could have happened in her room.

 

Edited January 20, 2022 by debraran

[Haleth]

5 hours ago, buckboard said:

She apparently loves her job more than her marriage

And more than letting her children live with their father.  She of all people knows how important it is to have a loving father in their lives.  She was so close to her own, she's willing to deny them that?  As far as we know she never even looked into getting a similar job in SF.

9 hours ago, CarpeFelis said:

all TV characters must pronounce “temperature” without that first r, as if they’ve watched that stupid All Temp-A-Cheer commercial a million times too many. But this doesn’t, like, BUG THE CRAP OUT OF ME or anything…

Not just characters.  I've never heard a weather person pronounce temperature correctly either.  Grr.

I'm going to reserve judgment on Deja's "problem" comment until we hear why it will be a problem.  It does sound bratty, but she may have a good point.

[Ohiopirate02]

26 minutes ago, Haleth said:

And more than letting her children live with their father.  She of all people knows how important it is to have a loving father in their lives.  She was so close to her own, she's willing to deny them that?  As far as we know she never even looked into getting a similar job in SF.

 

I know everyone here hates Kate, but this is a reach based on what we have seen.  The show has not given us enough info to know that Kate is dragging her feet about moving with the kids to SF.  We also have not seen any evidence of Toby looking at real estate in the Bay Area or researching schools for the blind.  All we have seen is Toby working hard in SF and coming home bearing gifts whenever he can.  No conversation about them moving yet.  

[JudyObscure]

I like Kate, for me, she's the most interesting character in the show, but I agree with the side that says she should move.  She shouldn't have let Mr. Meanjerk talk her into staying when she and Toby must have been thinking of making a move, otherwise why did she call in a resignation? She can look for a job after they've moved and settled, or better yet wait a couple of years until the toddlers are in pre-school. 

Toby's triangle lesson aside, unless there's some sort of abuse going on families are usually stronger when they all live under one roof.  Not judging, I got divorced when my son was ten, sometimes people just can't live together, but I know he was never again as happy and secure as when we lived together.

[ams1001]

8 hours ago, Dowel Jones said:

That theater guy was classic.  "I think he mighta gone down to the food court, but I'm kinda....stoned, so there's that."  A model of upward mobility, he was.

I also loved his 'my dad worked a lot and it sucked but look at me now with my glamorous movie theater snack bar career' comment.

2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Randall's driving lesson:  "Okay, now that you've started the car and slid into heavy traffic, let's have a deep conversation."  I've been driving for many years, but whenever I start out with first time passengers, I tell them I can't talk and drive at the same time.  They can talk among themselves but don't address me or ask me questions.

I'm not a big talker in general but I talk very little when I'm driving with a passenger (which is actually pretty rare). I listen to podcasts a lot but I always set it up before I leave and if I don't for some reason, well, then I'm just listening to whatever's on the radio until I can stop (sometimes I'll plug in my ipod at a red light). I always put my podcasts on a playlist, too, so I don't have to mess with it once it's playing.

2 hours ago, debraran said:

OMG, this was such a fail. No radio or music, no reputable driving ed instructor would do that and phones are silenced. I'm surprised the writers who must have kids, wrote that so badly just to get the voice text. That could have happened in her room.

Thank god cell phones weren't a thing when I was learning to drive in 1992. (Well, they existed, I guess, but no one had one.)

[CountryGirl]

19 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I also did not see Kate doing anything out of the ordinary. If anything, I saw the fun dad vs. mean mom trope in full effect with Toby and his gifts.  I get Toby wanting to spend time with his kids, but he needs to respect the schedule Kate has set up.  

Agreed. You do not mess with schedules.

And skipping naps...woof. When I saw that, I said.

Toby:

[Ohiopirate02]

4 minutes ago, CountryGirl said:

Agreed. You do not mess with schedules.

And skipping naps...woof. When I saw that I said.

Toby:

Sometimes it's okay to adjust the schedule for a special day, but not when you already have plans and a babysitter lined up.  Also, not when you are leaving the next morning and your spouse is left with kids off their schedule from the night before.  

I also thought Toby's househusband comment was a bit condescending.  Yes, he did take care of the kids, but that was months ago when the kids were at different ages with different needs.  Toby needs to listen to Kate about where the kids are now.  

[GeorgiaRai]

19 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I also did not see Kate doing anything out of the ordinary.   

I agree, but due to the flash-forward, I'm viewing everything through a "poor Toby" lens!  He's trying so hard, and ultimately it's all in vain.  In a few years Kate will be happily married to Meanjerk, and that makes me see current Toby as vulnerable and about to get sucker punched.  Granted, the story may not turn out that way at all, but for me, for now, it colors the way I view their interactions.

Other thoughts:

I was not a mom who "scheduled" & don't see the harm in skipping a nap now and then.  Sometimes an over-tired baby is the price you pay, and for me, it was usually worth it.  Not saying Kate (or any mom) should be that way, but I relate more to Toby in this instance.

I felt the episode was just about dads wanting to be good dads.  Kevin & Toby both went from being at-home parents to working full time outside the home. They're dealing with very typical feelings of doubt, inadequacy, sadness, etc., but I don't see that any of them are fighting over visitation time.  Parenting plans, moving, and/or custody agreements never entered my mind.

[kili]

Quote

And one more thing: it seems all TV writers think you have to mention “10 and 2” in any driving lesson scene, but it’s been known for at least a decade that in a car with airbags (and just how many cars these days don’t have them?), 9 and 3 is safer because of the severity of arm injuries incurred if your hands are at 10 and 2 when the driver’s airbag deploys. This article is from TEN YEARS AGO, FFS: Get with the times: You’re driving all wrong

Isn't this one of the reasons why they recommend you get a driving instructor rather than have your parent's teach you? Randall learned how to drive back in the 90s and now he is going to pass on all his old-fashioned driving habits on to his daughters like "10 and 2". 

A decent driving instructor is going to be familiar with the latest driving rules and recommendations, but your average parent might not. As well, parents tend to teach their kids their own bad driving habits not even realizing they are bad habits.

Though, Randall being Randall, he probably would have researched how to teach your kid how to drive.

Quote

The learner needs to be fully concentrating on driving and driving alone.  No distractions like music/the radio, never mind bickering about what to listen to.  

Where I live, Deja would have lost her learner's license if stopped by a cop for using her phone and having it placed on the console. They have strict rules on learners and tech. 

Plus, it was her first lesson - Randall should have had her focusing on the road, not debating song choices or having conversations about teachers. Those conversations should have waited to fill in the time when Randall was driving them back home.

Randall better hire a trained driving instructor. Of course, his own father decided to teach two feuding kids to drive at the same time and the distraction almost caused an accident, so I guess Randall is a better instructor than Jack.

[smartymarty]

Quote

I'm annoyed by all the men boo-hooing that they are missing out on their children's lives because they have to work.  Umm, isn't that how we support our families???  Get a grip, like someone else posted, NO parent is with their children 24/7/365 to see every. single. milestone.

But Jack was working far more than 9-5, Toby wasn't even in town, Kevin wasn't living with his kids, so only Randall saw his kids regularly. My father was always home for dinner, though many nights he worked more from home. Toby and Jack were missing entire days of their kids, and Kevin only visits his kids. So it's not a matter of "dads work to support the family, moms are home with the kids."

I agree about the milestones though. I didn't have children, but I recall that with my niblings that first steps were exciting for the first baby, but thereafter, it was "oh no, [next kid] is walking!" Because that meant that the kid could get into far more trouble in the house.

Edited January 20, 2022 by smartymarty

[Leeds]

11 hours ago, Hedgehog2022 said:

Totally agree with you about Deja...my Dad would have said , "What did you say???" And would have proceeded to start emptying my room out of all my prized possessions. 

I've heard taking a kid's door off its hinges works wonders.

[scatteroflight]

18 hours ago, kili said:

If Deja is as mature as she thinks she is, she should have gone to a clinic for birth control before going to Boston. In real life, condoms have an effectivity rate of 85% (it's only 98% if everything is done perfectly every time). We don't know if Malik had condoms, but he seemed surprised that's what Deja wanted to do.

Like you suggest in your post, I'm not sure this was a fully considered decision. Maybe Deja thought about possibly having sex with Malik (which would explain the dress) beforehand, but the decision wasn't cemented until she was in Boston. And I'm certainly not suggesting that Deja is mature enough to have sex, but like someone else said, it's not outside the realm of possibility that Malik had some condoms. For one thing, his girlfriend was coming to town, and what teenage boy doesn't hope he'll get some? Given that Malik already has a child, it's entirely possible that he did have some on hand, just in case.

I'm more concerned with your other suggestion, that Deja didn't decide to have sex with Malik until she saw firsthand what was going on with Jennifer. The look on Deja's face when Jennifer was there followed by Deja taking that tag off her dress tells me that she felt threatened and was looking for a way to cement her own relationship with Malik, so I think you're absolutely correct. 

Anyway, regardless of if Deja's mature enough to be having sex, it's happening, and I'd rather see Beth take charge and get her on contraceptives than the alternative.

Quote

I've heard taking a kid's door off its hinges works wonders.

Oh, yeah. The last thing a teenager wants taken away is their privacy.

Edited January 20, 2022 by scatteroflight

[PRgal]

11 hours ago, Hedgehog2022 said:

Totally agree with you about Deja...my Dad would have said , "What did you say???" And would have proceeded to start emptying my room out of all my prized possessions. 

That's what I'll be doing when my son's older.  Right now, he's three, so it's about taking screen time away and quiet time.  He's already beginning to negotiate with us (he's not allowed to watch TV during the week, but he gets to watch short videos on YouTube, usually two or three a day.  If he misbehaves, he gets one fewer video)...We try not to take away story/book time because that helps build his vocabulary/speaking skills (he still talks like Elmo from time to time (i.e. referring to himself in the third person) but is improving).   

[himela]

I do watch the episodes but to be honest there is nothing that makes me feel anything anymore in this show. From my point of view, I've been waiting for so long for things to finally move on and conclude that now that the time is approaching I'm like "meh who cares". I think they kept the suspense for too long. I feel I'm not going to miss anything if I stop watching now and I only watch the last episode out of curiosity about the ending.

[Lone Wolf]

On 1/18/2022 at 7:02 PM, mtlchick said:

 And now the Big Green Egg breaks up Toby and Kate. 

 

And the Egg is a smoker.  And smoke is what killed Saint Jack!  Has Toby no sensitivity??  No wonder their marriage is doomed...

Speaking of Jacks, Future Blind Jack seems to have done well for himself. My GF thought they were on vacation at a resort when we first saw that palatial estate. I'm interested to find out how he apparently amassed that much wealth.

And kudos to FBJ for being able to grill food with little to no eyesight - I can't even plug the charging cord into my phone's port unless I'm wearing my contacts, and even then I have to squint to make sure it isn't upside down.

Deja: "We're gonna have a problem with that."  Unswayed and unmoved by Randall's flowery Pearson Soliloquy© ™, The Power Of Teenage Love prevails.

 

 

Edited January 20, 2022 by Lone Wolf

[Eureka]

20 minutes ago, himela said:

I do watch the episodes but to be honest there is nothing that makes me feel anything anymore in this show. From my point of view, I've been waiting for so long for things to finally move on and conclude that now that the time is approaching I'm like "meh who cares". I think they kept the suspense for too long. I feel I'm not going to miss anything if I stop watching now and I only watch the last episode out of curiosity about the ending.

I feel a lot like you but I keep hoping we’ll get the story of Rebecca and Miguel. We saw a tiny peek of it last week. I’m hoping there will be more.

[cardigirl]

5 minutes ago, Lone Wolf said:

Speaking of Jacks, Future Blind Jack seems to have done well for himself. My GF thought they were on vacation at a resort when we first saw that palatial estate. I'm interested to find out how he apparently amassed that much wealth.

He's a famous musician. It was shown in one of the flashforwards. 

[SilverLake0315]

23 hours ago, PepSinger said:

On a shallow note, Mandy Moore looked gorgeous throughout the entire episode. She’s always been beautiful, but ever since she came back from parental leave she’s looked downright radiant. Is it just me noticing this? 

I *really* noticed it in last week's episode. That woman is GORGEOUS!

[AheadofStraight]

On 1/19/2022 at 12:03 PM, PepSinger said:

Another part of this is that did Randall and Beth talk about what to say to Deja before Randall went to her bedroom? I ask because no way, no how would I have told Randall to tell her that she’s not going back to Boston. If anything, I would’ve said you’re not going back for at least a month because —grounded—and when that’s over, we can go on a family trip to Boston for a weekend each month. The way Randall handled it ensures more shenanigans. Rookie mistake.

Dear Randall - my parents banned me from seeing my 18 year old boyfriend for an unspecified time when I was 16. We are now married 24 years with 2 kids. 

[himela]

3 minutes ago, AheadofStraight said:

Dear Randall - my parents banned me from seeing my 18 year old boyfriend for an unspecified time when I was 16. We are now married 24 years with 2 kids. 

No phone for you!

[TexasGal]

Why was Future Blind Jack smoking so much food anyway?  For only 2 people?  

[ams1001]

23 minutes ago, Lone Wolf said:

Speaking of Jacks, Future Blind Jack seems to have done well for himself. My GF thought they were on vacation at a resort when we first saw that palatial estate. I'm interested to find out how he apparently amassed that much wealth.

He becomes a rock star, of course, fulfilling the long-suppressed musical dreams of his mother and grandmother.

I thought it was a hotel, too, because of the neat row of lounge chairs, but unless he travels with his big green egg, I guess not. Then again, sometimes famous people do weird stuff, so who knows? Maybe he does take it everywhere he goes.

Edited January 20, 2022 by ams1001

[kili]

Quote

I'm more concerned with your other suggestion, that Deja didn't decide to have sex with Malik until she saw firsthand what was going on with Jennifer. The look on Deja's face when Jennifer was there followed by Deja taking that tag off her dress tells me that she felt threatened and was looking for a way to cement her own relationship with Malik, so I think you're absolutely correct. 

Realistically, Deja should probably be shown having some relationship issues. Shauna had a lot of issues and one of the was how she consistently compromised her self (and Deja) to please her useless boyfriends. Deja first ends up coming to live with Randall when her mother goes to jail for holding a gun for her boyfriend. After returning to live with Shauna, Deja becomes homeless because Shauna uses the rent money to pay for her new boyfriend's bail. At another foster home, Deja witnessed the man abusing another foster child, contacted social services and was removed from the home. The other child was upset because they were willing to take a beating to have their own bed.

For twelve years, Deja received the message that one must sacrifice oneself to make the man in your life happy because being in a relationship is just that important.

Even in the Pearson home, one of the first things she saw was Beth deciding to give up on her dreams and her home of many years to allow to Randall pursue his dreams. Beth constantly capitulates to Randall's wants because Randall won't budge.

But Deja appears to be the exception. She went from being a parentified, neglected and angry teenager that hacked off her own hair, took a bat to Randall's car and who felt abandoned by her Mom, to a completely balanced teenager who excelled at school and gave sage advice after just a few months. She appears to have cured all damage from her pre-Pearson days. A true testament that adoption done correctly will yield perfect results while an adoption done incorrectly will leave you with lifelong scars which everybody must make allowances for.

Deja is also fortunate enough to have her first love at 14 be an equally well-balanced 16 year old who is happy to take care of his infant daughter while getting grades good enough to be accepted at Harvard while also dreaming of being a Michelin star chef. 

Bringing back Jennifer into Malik's life would make sense if they want to explore issues Deja might have and how she grows to deal with those issues. I think they were hinting at that this episode.

[Dowel Jones]

7 hours ago, debraran said:

wrote that so badly just to get the voice text. That could have happened in her room.

True, it was poorly written, but it had to happen in Randall's presence for the effect.  Personally, I was quite tickled at the takedown but it was at the wrong time.

3 hours ago, kili said:

Isn't this one of the reasons why they recommend you get a driving instructor rather than have your parent's teach you?

I have no idea where any of the characters are anymore, but in California it's actually mandatory to undergo at least six hours of driver training at a certified school.  Parents can drive with their kids, of course, but it doesn't count, and, as you said, they learn all the bad habits.

1 hour ago, TexasGal said:

Why was Future Blind Jack smoking so much food anyway?  For only 2 people? 

I wondered that too.  It looked like over a pound of beef there.  Not that much came out, though.

 

1 hour ago, ams1001 said:

I thought it was a hotel, too, because of the neat row of lounge chairs, but unless he travels with his big green egg, I guess not.

That was downtown LA in the background, I believe, which may put the location up in the Hollywood Hills.  There is a 'smattering' of palatial estates up there, perched on hillsides with infinity pools and such.

[himela]

Also I forgot to ask; Who complains about their spouses and talks about their fights to their boss, unless the boss is a friend or someone they know for many many years?

[Ohiopirate02]

When it comes to Deja learning how to drive, does anyone here really think that Randall would be content with a random driving instructor?  I have no doubt that Deja completed whatever drivers education required by Pennsylvania, but Randall is going to Randall.  I just looked it up and Deja needs to complete 65 hours of supervised driving before she can get her license.  Most driving schools do not devote that kind of time for kids, and it's up to the parents to do the rest of the supervising.  

[mostlylurking]

On 1/19/2022 at 6:50 AM, JudyObscure said:

I didn't want Kevin and Madison to break up and I don't want Toby and Kate to break up.  It's stupid.  When my son was a toddler my husband worked out of town four days a week and I liked it!  Four days of simply following child-schedule with no big cleaning or meal prep to think about.  Then, when he was due back, I would cook and clean and we'd have grown-up time. 

Yes to all of this!  Pre-pandemic my husband travelled about one week out of the month and it was actually easier on me because all I had to worry about was me and the kid.  I could eat cereal for dinner if I wanted.  When my husband is home I definitely put more effort into cleaning, cooking, making his lunch, etc. (I’m a stay at home wife/mom).  So it was kind of like a little break for me.  I actually think it was harder on him to travel and be away from us.  Ps he just started traveling again after almost two years!!

I also liked Madison and Kevin and am still hoping they will get back together and realize that they actually are in love, even if it doesn’t look like what they thought it would.  We see that in ten years (or is it 15?) he is living in the dream house in the woods, so maybe they got back together and are raising the twins there.

Beth had me laughing out loud!  “Let’s kill her.” Totally deadpan.  And then talking to herself to keep from losing her shit (any more than she already had).  I totally felt that over the top anger.  I would feel exactly the same way.

 

Edited January 20, 2022 by mostlylurking

[BC4ME]

1 hour ago, kili said:

But Deja appears to be the exception. She went from being a parentified, neglected and angry teenager that hacked off her own hair, took a bat to Randall's car and who felt abandoned by her Mom, to a completely balanced teenager who excelled at school and gave sage advice after just a few months. She appears to have cured all damage from her pre-Pearson days. 

I hear ya on the other but IIRC Deja was a good student even when she was with her biological mother.

[kili]

Quote

I hear ya on the other but IIRC Deja was a good student even when she was with her biological mother.

I recall that her education was spotty because of the turmoil in her home life. Deja had to repeat Grade 7 when she started school after being adopted because she had so much to catch up. Then, it became a plot point that her teacher had thought she had caught up and wanted her to skip Grade 8, but Deja didn't want to do that and upset the stability of the house. Then, they moved to Philly and it made sense for her to skip the grade because it was a new school. 

Deja has always been smart, but her mother's chaotic lifestyle did not give her the opportunity to be a good student.

[perkie1968]

On 1/18/2022 at 10:13 PM, Kremit said:

I only know this because in the Halloween episode when she was born, it was dated Halloween 2008.  I have a son born November 2008

My daughter was born April 2008 so I had the same reaction because Tess (character and actress) acts and looks way older than my daughter.  so I looked up the actress and she's actually older (born in 2005).  

If Deja's only learning to drive, that would put her around 16/17 and she's only been with the family for, what, 3/4 years, which would put her around 12 when she showed up.  

Even if Toby buys a rocket thingy that blows up Jack's noggin, I still find it hard to believe that they break up and she's together wtih the other guy long enough to get married in 5 years (4.5 now since that was the May finale)

[perkie1968]

5 hours ago, GeorgiaRai said:

I was not a mom who "scheduled" & don't see the harm in skipping a nap now and then.

I was the complete opposite.  Both my kids had specific nap times, for my own sanity as well as theirs.  Drove me crazy when my MIL would be all "they'll sleep tomorrow".  Uhm tomorrow isn't the problem, tonight is the problem and you'll be happily sleeping in your bed while I have to deal with the fallout.  

[mostlylurking]

1 minute ago, perkie1968 said:

  Both my kids had specific nap times, for my own sanity as well as theirs.  Drove me crazy when my MIL would be all "they'll sleep tomorrow".  Uhm tomorrow isn't the problem, tonight is the problem and you'll be happily sleeping in your bed while I have to deal with the fallout.  

Same.  My kid was on a sleep schedule from 6 months onward.  She is just about to turn four, still naps/has quiet time every day and sleeps like a champ at night.  I’m pretty laid back when it comes to anything else, but DO NOT mess with the sleep schedule!!

[Pallas]

2 hours ago, kili said:

Realistically, Deja should probably be shown having some relationship issues. Shauna had a lot of issues and one of the was how she consistently compromised her self (and Deja) to please her useless boyfriends.

A great post.

Deja's someone special. She's made of potential, and so far she's refused or recovered from every chance to sabotage it or let others drain it out. She's also a high school junior in love with a boy who lives 300 miles away with his young daughter and near the child's mother while he's a freshman in college. 

Years ago, Deja was already making homes for Shauna because she loved her and she had to; how much better it will be to make a home and a family with Malik and Janelle!, she may feel. Why couldn't she finish high school in Cambridge and go to college in Boston after Malik graduates? Malik may not make it through Harvard without someone -- Deja -- there, to take care of them! This is her life, and what she wants to do with it. She's ready. She's always been ready, and he needs her -- he wants her! So what's not to like?

[Ohiopirate02]

22 minutes ago, perkie1968 said:

Even if Toby buys a rocket thingy that blows up Jack's noggin, I still find it hard to believe that they break up and she's together wtih the other guy long enough to get married in 5 years (4.5 now since that was the May finale)

I can buy Kate and Toby divorcing.  The show has laid the groundwork for that.  That episode last season with Toby's dad and the home repairs had such a heavy-handed metaphor.  I am still not sold on Kate moving on with Philip.  

[MissLucas]

I'm late to the party - so I'll keep it short.

Do we have to assume Malik and Deja had not used any birth control? WTF??? 

Another cooking disaster for the Pearsons? Are they cursed? Has one of their ancestors snatched a cauldron from a Salem farm house?

Yay, Cassidy! Doesn't matter how many obstacles there are I always thought she had the best rapport with Kevin so I'm glad she's back (temporarily).

Edited January 20, 2022 by MissLucas

[perkie1968]

27 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I am still not sold on Kate moving on with Philip.  

Especially since so far he's been a douchy douche nozzle. 

[SilverLake0315]

On 1/19/2022 at 2:37 PM, Madding crowd said:

Kevin is like everyone else on TV where they need to leave their house for some reason and are rich enough to stay at any hotel but the only place they can stay is on someone’s sofa.

This always baffles me, because I'd SO much rather stay at a hotel than someone's home.