S01.E01: Premiere

[Rhondinella]

Episode Synopsis: Former contenders from "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" get a second chance at love as they explore new relationships in an isolated Mexican locale. In the opener, eight women and six men arrive on the island. At the first rose ceremony, each man chooses one woman, and the two ladies left without flowers are sent home.

 

 

From TV Guide.

 

So far I'm not finding any other ep title other than "Premiere" so I'm going with it for the moment.  If anyone finds a different official title, let me know.

 

In case you didn't see it, here's one of the trailers for the new season.  Spoilers aho, I guess, if you consider things like "there will be boobs! and crying! and hooking up!" to be spoilers.  Otherwise not a lot is given away.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8JN6YHMIDQ

[chocolatine]

Why not continue the Bachelorette tradition of making up episode names?

[bosawks]

Why not continue the Bachelorette tradition of making up episode names?

Maybe we should name them after STD's?

Episode 1: Hep B for you & me!

[Rhondinella]

Heh.  I love it, although I might need to run that past mod and admin review first!

 

We can def make up names if there are none (like @Tara Ariano brilliantly did for this Bachelorette season), but I'm not sure about the STD thing (although I think it would be hilarious).  I will report back.

[leighdear]

Ok, everybody got their penicillin shots, hand sanitizer and rubber gloves in prep for tonight?  *LOL*  I plan to Lysol my TV screen when it's over....

[CindyBee]

I'm ready!  And spraying lysol on the TV after its all over with sounds like a good idea

[Armchair Critic]

All these long haired women look alike, I don't remember Lacy, Daniella or Elise.

 

I always liked Ashlee but this is not the environment for her.

[Rhondinella]

"Marcus just got out of a relationship with Andi"?  Ok, sure.

 

I remember Lacy but only for her boobs.  Can't imagine why, since she covers them so modestly all the time.  Robert, on the other hand?  Pretty sure he's some random guy who just wandered on the set and told them he was a part of this franchise.  Absolutely no memory of him whatsoever.

[bosawks]

In what world is Graham considered a great catch?

Putting you at great risk to catch something absolutely......

[LakeGal]

I have never understood why Graham is considered so attractive.  I think he is rather average.

[Armchair Critic]

The fact that Graham is older SHOULD mean he knows better. He is no prize.

 

I knew Ashlee would take it too personally and get upset, she is too sensitive to be on a show like this.

 

LOL at Claire talking to the raccoon.

[Stella MD]

Was Claire really just arguing her side with some raccoon-like animal (I assume it wasn't an actual rabid raccoon out in the daytime), or was that the most awesome editing ever? Either way, I laughed and laughed.

 

They're spiking the water with hallucinogens, right? I mean, AshLee thinking that Graham owes her some sort of loyalty 24 hours after meeting her and Claire freaking out about drama to the wildlife both seem crazier than the typical bachelor-esque shenanigans.  

 

[reggiejax]

I remember Sarah (I won't lie, it is because she is the woman with only one arm), Clare (because God help me, I kind of like her), Daniella (the only woman I remember at all from Sean's season because I found her to be the most attractive) and Crazy Michelle from Jake's season on the women's side.

 

I remember Marquel and Marcus because they were just on Andi's season, and Graham sounds familiar, though I admit, I can't pick him out from the rest of the other men even as I am watching right now.

 

The rest, I will take Chris Harrison's word that they once appeared on a season of the Bachelor/Bachelorette.

 

I guess I am rooting for Clare, though I am not sure what exactly there is to root for as this show seems to have no structure. In any case, I admit I gotta love Clare having the conversation with the raccoon, and I love how the raccoon smartly exited the conversation. 

Edited August 5, 2014 by reggiejax

[leighdear]

SO strange, but Ashlee looks like a poor man's Gisele Bundchen....Especially when she was wearing those aviator sunglasses. 

 

I think Clare's got a good shot with Rocky (the Raccoon).  But I actually like her too.

 

Sorry but that place looks like a pit.  Unless you're directly in the wind, it's going to be HOT.  No A/C.  Ants, beasties and mosquitos everywhere.  Plus sandy-pants guaranteed.

Edited August 5, 2014 by leighdear

[Rhondinella]

Not loving the darker hair on Money.  And what on EARTH is the appeal of Graham?  I mean, did he spray himself with Sex Panther Cologne or what?  Not that he's not attractive, and I get they only have 6 guys to choose from, but still.

 

or was that the most awesome editing ever?

 

Absolutely!  Emmy-worthy!!!

[leighdear]

Speaking of hair, all of the girls are looking very limp & lank and in desperate need of their hair products....but SORRY!  No 3-hour hair on BIP.  *LOL*

 

Marcus is really getting full effect with his man-pain.  Now all he needs is a scarf.

Edited August 5, 2014 by leighdear

[Armchair Critic]

Who knew Marcus would be the most sought after man? I think he and Dylan look better on this show than they did on The Bachelorette.

[CindyBee]

 

Marcus is really getting full effect with his man-pain.  Now all he needs is a scarf.

 

Yes, Marcus needs his scarf to make his sadness complete.   

[TiredMe]

Omg this show is batshit. I love it! Haha

I actually really liked Claire. Hope that twit finds a decent guy. Count me as one that doesn't get the fascination with Graham. He's ok I guess.

Ashley, still cray I see. Run Graham!

[CindyBee]

I really like Clare, too.  That was nice of Robert to give her a rose for her to stay around,

 

Would say her and Sarah seem the most "normal" out of the girls.  Maybe Michelle Money too.     

 

Can't wait till next week and seeing what the world happens with Michelle K!

[PreBabylonia]

 

Was Claire really just arguing her side with some raccoon-like animal (I assume it wasn't an actual rabid raccoon out in the daytime), or was that the most awesome editing ever? Either way, I laughed and laughed.

 

The best part, hands down. I too laughed thru their scene together. Otherwise, it's pretty lame. We were all prepared for the impending STDs and so far, just a bit of kissing in the water. I do enjoy the revisional editing. Claire and Michelle Money come across much better than they did in their Bachelor seasons. I don't know if Michelle K. is truly unbalanced or if they just like filming & editing her that way. Although with the behind the scenes preview for next week, it seems as if there was some actual crazy going on behind the scenes.

 

Strange about AshLee. I really enjoy reading her blog - checked it out quite a bit in the past - but they've managed to portray her as stalkerish AND inarticulate. (Conversating, really?) The premise does remind me of high school however. So you're only supposed to give the rose to someone you're interested in pursuing a romance with? Seems awfully stupid, it's not as if they're sharing a bed, like they did in Paradise Hotel. That was something that really bothered me with Bachelor Pad, how someone had allied themselves with someone crazy/jerkish and was expected to stay with them the rest of the season. Kind of like Survivior but on a much more personal level.

Edited August 5, 2014 by PreBabylonia

[Bluegirl547]

Eh, I'm kinda 80/40 on the whole thing.

[Curio]

And what on EARTH is the appeal of Graham? I mean, did he spray himself with Sex Panther Cologne or what?

60% of the time, he'll get a rose every time.

 

What was the quote Marquel said about the coconut not falling too far from the crazy tree? I need to somehow use that in normal conversation.

Edited August 5, 2014 by Curio

[Armchair Critic]

Eh, I'm kinda 80/40 on the whole thing

 

I tried to tell myself that she didn't say that, but I guess I heard it right. If brains were a prerequisite there wouldn't be many contestants....

[Superpole2000]

Sarah's insecurity is painful to watch.

Claire complaining about drama was ridiculous. Look what you signed up for, Claire.

AshLee has a tremendous mix of entitlement and craziness. She seems the most likely of these people to end up in prison one day.

 

I really hope my summer picks up so I don't have to watch much more of this.

Edited August 5, 2014 by Superpole2000

[TheFinalRose]

Not loving the darker hair on Money.  And what on EARTH is the appeal of Graham?  I mean, did he spray himself with Sex Panther Cologne or what?

 

 

Never got the Graham appeal either, despite Deanna prostrating herself over him on her season.  

 

I think Clare's got a good shot with Rocky (the Raccoon).  But I actually like her too.

 

 

Thank goodness for the guys in the editing booth. They must have been as bored with the first half of the show as I was getting, and then, voila! Magical Listening Racoon appears to comfort Clare. I hope he is a recurring character. 

 

I'm sorry but why does Sarah subject herself to competitive dating shows?  At first I was not liking Lacy and then I ended up liking her. Well, at least I like her better than Andi Dorfman, but that's a low bar to get over.  

[Armchair Critic]

I'm sorry but why does Sarah subject herself to competitive dating shows?

 

Like I said about Ashlee, she is too sensitive for this type of competitive environment.

[reggiejax]

Eh, I'm kinda 80/40 on the whole thing

 

I tried to tell myself that she didn't say that, but I guess I heard it right. If brains were a prerequisite there wouldn't be many contestants...

 

 

My personal favorite was Clare, upon reaching the top of the ruin and taking in the view: "I am literally speechless!"

 

No,sweetie, you're not. 

Edited August 5, 2014 by reggiejax

[Alapaki]

I'm not ready to conversate about this show yet.

 

It's just too bad that at the time this taped Marcus hadn't gotten the memo that it would be okay not to pine over Andi.

 

Otherwise, I guess, Lacy's boobs FTW!

[Adeejay]

I think the appeal of Graham is that "The Bachelorette", DeAnna was bat shit crazy about him.  Some women are only attracted to men that other women find attractive.  I don't know what is so appealing about  Lacy, but then again I am a woman.  Ashlee believing she is the most normal person there is laughable.  That woman isn't playing with a full deck.  I hope Graham treads lightly.  I have a feeling Michelle knew she wouldn't be receiving a rose and tried to save face by leaving on her own accord.

[maryshelley]

OMG, I enjoyed this so much.

 

 

Was Claire really just arguing her side with some raccoon-like animal (I assume it wasn't an actual rabid raccoon out in the daytime), or was that the most awesome editing ever?

 

I assume she was bitching to a producer or cameraman/woman, and they couldn't "pull back the curtain" on all the reality so they edited in a raccoon.

 

I thought it was kind of funny when Claire and one of the guys were giving commentary about Lacey and Robert. Or possibly Lacey and Marcus.

 

I've always liked Michelle Money, and agree that she is exceptionally pretty, and she had the good sense to hook up with Marcus. I just picture them going clothes shopping together forever.

 

Is AshLee really that deluded or did the producers bring her on to act wacko? And I guess next week we will find out why they hardly showed anything about Michelle K. this episode until she made her grand exit.

[Jodio]

Ok, everybody got their penicillin shots, hand sanitizer and rubber gloves in prep for tonight?  *LOL*  I plan to Lysol my TV screen when it's over....

 

I'm already on a year-round cocktail of preventative STD meds due to my trashy tv viewing habits. Kardashians. Have never missed a show. 'Nuff said.

 

I'm all in for this show, however I need to get a vocal fry filter for my speakers because these women are driving me insane. I live in Canada, where the vocal fry isn't yet an epidemic, and I can't even imagine any of these women in a professional setting, giving presentations and participating in meetings, with those horrible voices and speech patterns.

 

Okay, I'm just going to say it: I'm obsessed with Sarah's half arm. When she's on screen, I can't help but stare at it. And I was very excited when I got to see it swimming. I really wish she'd stop talking about having one arm because technically, she has one and a half arms. But if she thinks any of these shallow famewhores are going to fall for her, she's very mistaken.

 

I loved the preview that explains crazy Michelle's exit. When they showed the two broken legs, I immediately thought about Misery, and pictured Michelle literally preventing a man from walking away from her. Literally.

 

I see that AshLee is as cray cray as ever. I thought Graham was smart enough to run from the crazy after he barely escaped the nightmare that is Deanna, but he walked right into this one. Watching Graham repeatedly fail to be the perfect man (because the perfect man doesn't exist) and seeing AshLee's ensuing meltdowns should make for a very entertaining Clairadise.

[maryshelley]

 

Otherwise, I guess, Lacy's boobs FTW!

 

Holy crap, I just googled Lacy because I didn't remember her at all from Juan Pablo's season. She was the eldercare gal who had all the mentally handicapped siblings. Now I might have to like her for being a nice person. Looks like she lightened her hair and got a boob job since then.

[Alapaki]

Holy crap, I just googled Lacy because I didn't remember her at all from Juan Pablo's season.

 

 

I couldn't remember her either.  But even if I had, she looks nearly unrecognizable from the way she looked on Juan Pablo's season.

Edited August 5, 2014 by Alapaki

[Madding crowd]

So far this doesn't seem as entertaining as Bachelor Pad used to be. I liked the games they made  them play. Most of tonight's show seemed to be about Lacey and her boobs, and I don't remember her, Elise or Daniella. Michelle Money is very pretty but looks like she had her lips done and had the most ridiculous hair extension on in the rose ceremony.

 

I always liked Clare and still do, but she probably looks too refined for this group. I also never understood the appeal of Graham and think every other guy there is better looking. I hope we will see other things beside these lame dates, they are already boring.

Edited August 5, 2014 by Madding crowd

[KerleyQ]

I haven't watched more than an episode here and there of this show since, probably, Ashley's season.  So most of these famewhores are relatively new to me.  But I'm definitely staying for the crazy.  

 

I agree on not getting the big attraction to Graham, but, right now, I'm just shaking my head at him.  Apparently dude doesn't have the sense to not stick his foot directly into the bear trap.  I look forward to seeing him try to gnaw his own leg off to break free eventually.  Because Ashley?  Is totally going to stuff him and mount him on her bedroom wall.  

 

I'm hoping Michelle K's behind the scenes crazy next week isn't a letdown.  But, it looks like we've got at least two broken legs out of the deal, so, it looks promising.  I'm assuming she's hooking up with some member of the crew (who maybe jumped off her balcony to avoid being busted in her room?).  

[maryshelley]

 

Michelle Money is very pretty but looks like she had her lips done and had the most ridiculous hair extension on in the rose ceremony.

 

This! I meant to ask what that ratty thing on the side of her head was.

[PetuniaP]

Not gonna lie....I loved Graham during DeAnna's season and thought he as pretty hot. But he has not aged well. I have to believe more went down between him and AshLee for her to behave that way. I know she's cray but THAT cray?? I'm not sure that Graham would have given her the rose if more hadn't gone down between them than we saw. 

 

Michelle Money knows how to play this game. She's been around the block, knows all of the Bachelor dudes. So what does she do? Makes a beeline for the one new guy who wasn't wifed up yet. Knew he'd be starstruck and it would secure her spot. I peep your style, Money, and I'm loving it. 

 

That conversation between Clare and the raccoon is why I love the Bachelor editors more than life itself. 

 

Vey excited for what promises to be a trashtastic season!

[KR Vermont]

Sarah hasn't shaken her sad sack demeanor, and her one-piece swimsuit for her dream date with Marcus did her no favors either.

AshLee is a piece of work...was glad to see Graham call her out on walking away from him when he wanted to talk with her and tags it a red flag, but then gives her a rose anyway. Her clumpy eyelashes are distracting, as are Lacy's boobs. ha

Ben may have said "this sucks" because he was commanded to give his rose to Sarah, to keep her around for the drama of Marcus not giving her his rose as "promised."

Wearing high heels on the beach, good grief.

Michelle Money's makeup is a bit much--prettier without it.

Maybe some of these people would find lasting relationships if they didn't put so much emphasis on looks. I would typically avoid people like this IRL, so why I watch anything put out by the Bachelor franchise remains a mystery.

[woodscommaelle]

"Dylan, Jepetto called. He wants his vest back."
Do not like Lacy.  She reminds me of Lauren Conrad (LC from Laguna Beach).  They have similar lips.
I liked Daniella.  So of course she's gone.  Thought she was beautiful!

Loved Clare tonight. Can't remember if I liked her on Juan Pablo's season or not.

Loved Sara.  Never saw her season.  As others have said, she seems too sweet to be on this show. But, once a famewhore, always a famewhore?  So, I say Sara for the next Bachelorette.

[Shadow Wave]

Clare, how can you not know what a vista is? A few years ago I didn't know what "holla" means, but I've known what a vista is all my life.

 

Looks like Marcus was all set to give Sarah the pity rose, until Marquel gave him an out. I thought Marquel was supposed to be the super-sensitive one.

[ramble]

Yummy yummy the trash is back! I started grinning as soon as I pressed play. Wheeeee! I may need a life, but I'll take this for now.

I don't recall Ashlee but girl be crazy. Whoever said she'd better get a rose or she'd cut Graham's balls off said it right. If someone told me they were head over heels before meeting me because they followed me on social media? I'd be running away & screaming for help. Who was she talking to in the bathroom after her one true love was asked out by Claire? I saw a girl go in but come back out & Ashlee kept talking. Are there multiple raccoons running the resort?

I've always liked Michelle Money & I think she's very pretty. Marquel definitely seemed wowed. The little credit scene with them was cute. Still I have to call foul on her rose ceremony thing, er get up, um outfit. Giant necklace. Giant hair piece. Boots on the beach in Mexico. Didn't she say she brought five suitcases? That's what she came up with? Good thing Marquel has stars in his eyes.

@Jodio I'm kind of obsessing over Sarah's half arm too. I like her willingness to let it show so easily, but what the eff was up with her swim suit? I don't mind a one piece but pick one that enhances your assets. That thing cut weirdly on her waist at what seemed like the wrong spot for her body. I knew she was staying because in every promo on this show they've shown her with some guy in a scene that wasn't aired tonight. I can't recall the guy but I have a feeling there is absolutely no chance it's Marcus.

I do remember Lacy & that she sounded like a saint of a girl. She (or the editors) are sure selling a different story now. If she really is that giving girl described on Juan Pablo's season I can see Marcus feeling drawn to her.

I can't help it, I like Claire. I know she was drama on her season but I like her. I don't like her (& a lot of the other girls) giagantic earrings even while in the ocean. I hope some guy comes along & she makes a connection, feels chemistry, has sparks & begins a journey. Or you know, at least enjoys her hook-up.

And speaking of new guys... Chris Bukowski is showing up next week! Yea! He can usually be counted on for drama & helping stir the pot. Bring it on Chris, bring it on!

Edited August 5, 2014 by ramble

[OhIKnow]

Oh. My. God. You guys.... this show is so deliciously bad!! 

 

To quote Willy Wonka.."I hope it lasts..." 

 

I don't even know where to begin conversating about it. 

 

All I can really say is Marquel, Dylan... if you like older women, call me. If not? This show should give you reason why you should start. We 40 somethings can carry on a conversation, we know what vistas are and we can add up to 100. Oh, and we don't scare off raccoons with our crazy chatter. 

[Irritable]

I love this so far, just as I knew I would.  Only got to watch the first hour because Mr. Irritable had to go to bed and I didn't want him to miss the second hour.  I'm mostly in it for the travel porn, as usual on these Bachelor shows, and the cave pool date for Sarah and Marcus looked so fantastic that I wanted to wait until I could share it.

 

I agree, Sarah's bathing suit was SOOOOO ill-fitting.  I wondered if perhaps a one-piece is just easier for her to get on and off by herself, but there are a million other styles which would have suited her figure more than whatever that thing was she chose.  Yikes.  Pretty hard to compete with the cute and sexy bikinis the other women brought when you're wearing grandma's swimsuit.

 

I am among those that do not see what is so immediately appealing to these women about Graham.  Never understood why Deanna was so into him, either...he doesn't even have lips!  I think Marcus is the best looking of the men, but his personality just seems so bland.

 

I remember that back on their seasons, I had liked Ashlee and Clare well enough.  Ashlee has a smokin' body, her legs are mind boggling, but her entitlement and Stage 5 Clinger issues make her less attractive already.  I hate that Clare gave into her and didn't go on the date with Graham, that was such crazy garbage.  I also had forgotten that Clare sometimes refers to herself in the third person, which is a big pet peeve of mine.  I hope she can keep that to a minimum.

[Palomar]

 

 

Michelle Money knows how to play this game. She's been around the block, knows all of the Bachelor dudes. So what does she do? Makes a beeline for the one new guy who wasn't wifed up yet. Knew he'd be starstruck and it would secure her spot.

I've always liked Michelle Money and her snark as well.  They tried to make her a villian in the past but it just didn't work.  And I've liked Claire ever since she went off on Juan Pablo.  I think the appeal of Graham is that he is pretty well known among the Bachelor "family"...attending a lot of their get togethers and has dated at least a few of the alumni (besides MM can't remember who). 

[MsTree]

I didn't watch Sarah's season. Did she ever say how she lost her forearm/hand?

[chocolatine]

If [Lacy] really is that giving girl described on Juan Pablo's season I can see Marcus feeling drawn to her.

 

 

It looks like she might be "giving" in more ways than one. And Marcus is also drawn to her "eyes".

 

I also had forgotten that Clare sometimes refers to herself in the third person

 

 

Maybe it's to help the raccoon follow along?

 

I see Michelle Money is still lying about her age. She's an attractive woman, but she is NOT in her early 30s, unless she spent the last 20 years chain smoking on a tanning bed.

 

Agree with many upthread who don't see the big whoop about Graham. I've had a low opinion of him since DeAnna's season where she was more into him than he into her, but instead of being honest he passive-aggressively treated her like crap until she was all but forced to eliminate him. Then he plotted against poor sweet Gia on Bachelor Pad while she thought he was her only friend in the house. And now apparently Michelle Money doesn't understand what went wrong in their relationship - why can't this grown-ass man (tm Chris B) of 35 just tell her?

 

I'm so sad that snarky Daniella had to leave and sad sack Sarah got to stay. "I was raised better than this" - honey, you relinquished all claims to the moral high ground when you signed on for this show.

 

I can't for the life of me understand how someone as gorgeous as AshLee can be so desperate for male attention. She should be beating men off with a stick. I know she has abandonment issues from her childhood, but many people who've had crappy childhoods still manage to have healthy adult relationships. 

 

Finally, on a WTF note, who told Elise and Dylan it was a good idea to go into the ocean with champagne flutes in hand? That was some awkward making out while trying to hold on to the flutes, to say nothing of the potential injuries if they got smashed.

[hnygrl]

What does it say about me that I absolutely, delightedly loved this show? That was much more fun, much more entertaining than the bachelor/ette ever was. Kudos to the powers that be for casting such cray cray interesting folks. When the lightening struck when Graham picked up that rose I about died laughing. This. Is going. To be. Epic. Can't wait for the eventual Ashlee bunny boiling meltdown.

[CorgiNarnia]

Marcus is the hottest guy, but may be too sensitive for this process.

Graham is not all that. Seems like a nice guy though.

Why was Ben a "villain?" All I remember is that he had a kid. Funny that people on these shows don't think that maybe he was just edited to be a villain.

Clare is a coward. Just go on the date with the guy you want. They are the ones with the roses, not that insane woman. No reason to let Ashlee have her way.

When Michelle Money showed up, first I was mad because, again?? But she won me over by being nice and normal and then choosing fun Marquel for her date (which I suggested a minute before).

Ugh, why do the producers think we love Sarah so much? I wish someone would call their bluff and just make her Bachelorette then. That would be a trainwreck season.

[jhill]

I have spent time with Graham. He is one of the nicest guys I have ever met. Beauty is subjective, but his personality makes him look even more attractive, in my opinion.