S12.E13: Unanswered Questions

[humbleopinion]

5 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I must have just got lucky then (sad face)

Sit next to me and please explain...I’ll scoot over...

[Elizzikra]

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Oh, Dr. Pepper.  That little girl has no desire to stop drinking.  She’s not done being young and I do fear that she’s headed down a bad path where alcohol is concerned.  A heart-to-heart with her skittish “husband” will do nothing but push her closer to Mr. Jack Daniels.  

I don't think it's her youth; I think she is a problem drinker. She wasn't even willing to talk about the possibility that alcohol might have negatively impacted their past conversations was pretty telling.

Quote

Erik gets visibly irritated when he's having a conversation with Virginia and she suddenly diverts her attention to the dog.  She did it last week when the dog was digging around in the dog bed, and then this episode when the dog started jumping on her leg, and her interaction isn't to correct the behavior but instead to comment on it or engage in it.  That would irritate the heck out of me, too. 

That's not at all about the dog though; it's about Virginia deflecting when she is uncomfortable in a conversation (and often it's because Erik is being a demanding, paternalistic asshole) instead of facing it head on.

I also thought Dr. Pepper was wrong about Rocky. I thought Erik kind of missed the point - it's not like the dog is a child with whom he has to have a relationship. But he does have to live with the dog and they have to find a compromise that is workable to both of them. For example, if Erik can't stand Rocky being on their bed and Virginia insists that she wants Rocky sleeping with them every night - that's untenable and it's not fair for Erik to just have to say "well, it's your dog so I guess he's sleeping on the bed." I think everyone missed the larger point, which is that if they can't even agree on expectations for the dog, how on earth are they going to co-parent the small human that Erik is so anxious to produce?

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Backpfeifengesicht — a face that's badly in need of a fist.  The word Backpfeife means “punch/slap” (on the cheek/face) and Gesicht means “face”.

I could not hate Chris more - except that he has infinite capacity to be hateful, so I guess my capacity is going to grow in this area. He is just a horrible human being. 

Quote

6.  Blowhard Chris should marry his baby Momma and be respectful.

I seldom say this about a child and a parent, but they are both better off without him. In fact, I can't think of a single person whose life is in any way enriched by Chris's presence. I am so glad that Pastor Cal finally cut through all the bullshit and just point blank said "you don't think that Paige is pretty enough to be your wife" (to paraphrase). I don't think that it was any secret that Chris is narcissistic and shallow and truly, he is as ugly on the outside as he is on the inside. I can't wait for the day that his financial house of cards crumbles like it's been knocked over by Tiger, the Brady family dog, and his minimally financed cars and his tacky wardrobe and accessories are all repossessed. He can eat $.99 boxed mac and cheese for the rest of his life. 

I hate him.

[DrewPaul2010]

Quote

Paige... she just doesn't get it.  She giggled when Pepper told her Chris was a narcissist.  But I was so glad Pepper didn't mince words and said "he did it to hurt you".  But Paige is still wondering "why".  People like Paige are frustrating because they don't understand there are bad people in the world.  There are people who wake up every day and think "who can I hurt"? 

Its always a mistake to project your values and morals to someone else. She was naive and gullible, but she was also played by a shameless devil who often dressed in sheep clothing. Its good to live by the golden rule but don't think because you do other won't take advantage. I hope she can meet a good man and put this nightmare behind her.

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Chris... OMG.  Chris thinks he handled things to the best of his ability?... I wish PC had responded "Then your abilities are very limited." It has been interesting to watch a narcissist in action though. People throw the word around too much these days... but Dr. Schwartz is a professional and qualified to really dx him. 

His inability to admit any error is astounding. He blames most of the failure on those who picked Paige. I suspect will hear from him again after this is over. 

[Empress1]

15 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

If you add the numbers you saw, plus internet and electricity, the total is $109,524, which is right at the $109,530 at the top of the screen.

If you add the numbers I entered plus $165 for electricity and internet, plus their $3000 for savings, it comes out to $9127.50 a month, or $109,530 per year - one of the numbers at the top of the screen. So actually, odds are good that that's not someone's income. I wonder what kind of engineer Briana is.

I still think if they're able to save three grand a month, they're doing well, and six grand a month in living expenses for two people isn't crazy. It's just a question of figuring out their priorities. I will say, though, that I think spending vs. saving is a big deal and attitudes about money need to be aligned. Not saving anything would be a deal-breaker. I've had to tap into a rainy day fund before so the idea of not having one is a non-starter for me. 

3 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

His inability to admit any error is astounding. He blames most of the failure on those who picked Paige. I suspect will hear from him again after this is over. 

Yep - one of the signs of narcissism. I don't think Dr. Pepper was being entirely flippant in that moment when she called him that.

Edited April 9, 2021 by Empress1

[Auntie Anxiety]

22 hours ago, endure said:

 

I didn’t appreciate Pastor Cal throwing the fact that Chris has been engaged twice before in his face, if he had done a half assed job he would have been aware of that before he matched him up with Paige

 

Not to mention that any therapist who has taken a single course in psychopathology would have been able to see that Chris is a Level 5 on the Narcissistic Personality Disorder scale. If Dr. Pepper thought he was such a tool, why was there in the first place?

Virginia: Rocky, lay down. Lay down. Okay, here’s part of my cookie even though you refused to do what I asked. (No wonder that pup is poorly behaved. He doesn’t have to sit and he gets the cookie as reward for not listening. Great!) Eric was no better trying to train the dog. Hire a trainer who does clicker training and learn how to teach your dog obedience. It’s fun. And it builds confidence in the dog as well. 

[Starlight925]

10 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't think it's her youth; I think she is a problem drinker. She wasn't even willing to talk about the possibility that alcohol might have negatively impacted their past conversations was pretty telling.

That's not at all about the dog though; it's about Virginia deflecting when she is uncomfortable in a conversation (and often it's because Erik is being a demanding, paternalistic asshole) instead of facing it head on.

I also thought Dr. Pepper was wrong about Rocky. I thought Erik kind of missed the point - it's not like the dog is a child with whom he has to have a relationship. But he does have to live with the dog and they have to find a compromise that is workable to both of them. For example, if Erik can't stand Rocky being on their bed and Virginia insists that she wants Rocky sleeping with them every night - that's untenable and it's not fair for Erik to just have to say "well, it's your dog so I guess he's sleeping on the bed." I think everyone missed the larger point, which is that if they can't even agree on expectations for the dog, how on earth are they going to co-parent the small human that Erik is so anxious to produce?

I could not hate Chris more - except that he has infinite capacity to be hateful, so I guess my capacity is going to grow in this area. He is just a horrible human being. 

I seldom say this about a child and a parent, but they are both better off without him. In fact, I can't think of a single person whose life is in any way enriched by Chris's presence. I am so glad that Pastor Cal finally cut through all the bullshit and just point blank said "you don't think that Paige is pretty enough to be your wife" (to paraphrase). I don't think that it was any secret that Chris is narcissistic and shallow and truly, he is as ugly on the outside as he is on the inside. I can't wait for the day that his financial house of cards crumbles like it's been knocked over by Tiger, the Brady family dog, and his minimally financed cars and his tacky wardrobe and accessories are all repossessed. He can eat $.99 boxed mac and cheese for the rest of his life. 

I hate him.

Agree 100!

Re:  The bolded.  Agree completely.  Dr. Pepper comparing a dog to a child is so much wrong.

For argument's sake, let's say Virginia had brought a child into the marriage.  Would that child be allowed to run wild, bite people, not listen, all because it was truly Virginia's child?  Would Erik have zero say there?

Erik is right about the dog, but so wrong in his delivery.  His "do x or else", with respect to the dog, kids, whatever, is so so wrong.

But speaking of kids....how did the "experts" miss this?  Neither Erik nor Virginia is ambivalent about their stance on kids.  He absolutely wants them, she absolutely does not.  Vincent & Brianna too.  This is not something for a couple who meets at the altar to "work through".  You either want kids, or you don't.

Vincent said he will not be a man who lays on his death bed, not surrounded by his kids (hopefully adult kids, grandkids, maybe some great-grands!).  Brianna is using her medical fears which, BTW, although they are well-founded, she will not be the only woman in the world with high blood pressure to have a successful pregnancy.  Check with your doctor, Bri.  She also mentioned the changes to her body, which I suspect is a fear of losing her cute, petite figure.  Again, check with women around you....many look even better after pregnancy.

I speak as an older woman (close to 60) who never had a burning desire to have kids, so I ended any relationships I started early in life with guys who did.  It wouldn't have been fair to them.  So while I understand both Virginia's & Brianna's feelings, it is not fair for them to expect their husbands to simply live with it.  

[Elizzikra]

Quote

But speaking of kids....how did the "experts" miss this?  Neither Erik nor Virginia is ambivalent about their stance on kids.  He absolutely wants them, she absolutely does not.  Vincent & Brianna too.  This is not something for a couple who meets at the altar to "work through".  You either want kids, or you don't.

I think they all said they wanted kids but Erik and Vincent want them sooner and Virginia and Brianna want to wait. Virginia definitely needs to wait to have kids; she needs to address her alcohol use first. And she's young enough that she can spend a couple of years working on herself and her marriage before her fertility is compromised by age.

I feel for Brianna. I think she wants kids but her fear of pregnancy is palpable through the tv screen. I am of an age that I've seen a lot of women who do genuinely want kids but put it off long enough that they cannot get pregnant and they end up heartbroken. Brianna isn't old but she doesn't have forever. I would really like to see her have a long and frank discussion with her doctor so that she can really decide if she is going to be able to become pregnant and carry a baby to term.

[Boo Boo]

11 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Erik and Jake seem to think this is Last Chance Saloon, though. 

That's what is so funny to me. Both are still in their 30s, attractive men with good careers and yet they will never ever find anyone else except for the person the experts purposefully mismatched them with?  I'm 53.  I guess I should just curl up and fucking die since no man is ever going to want me since my last chance at love evidently was in my 30s..

Edited April 9, 2021 by Boo Boo

[Auntie Anxiety]

One of the tells I love to look for is when the contestants are confronted by the “experts” and they visibly gulp. 

[Crashcourse]

Has there ever been a couple to lay out their finances in such detail that Vincent and Brianna have?  I'm still wondering if they made those numbers up for tv.  If they were, in fact, their actual expenses/salaries, then I think it's TMI.

[Empress1]

2 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Has there ever been a couple to lay out their finances in such detail that Vincent and Brianna have?  I'm still wondering if they made those numbers up for tv.  If they were, in fact, their actual expenses/salaries, then I think it's TMI.

They used to do more detailed budget conversations when the couples had to find and pay for their own joint housing. The couples had to do budgets because they had to figure out how much they could spend on their short-term housing. I remember hearing about what each person’s rent or mortgage was, how much consumer debt some of them had, and how much they made. Some of them didn’t lay it all out - they wrote their salaries on paper and exchanged them, for example (which is probably  what I would do) but the show definitely had more money talk before it started providing housing for the couples. I liked that because it made the marriages feel more real. They also had to factor in commutes when looking for places.

[Crashcourse]

39 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

They used to do more detailed budget conversations when the couples had to find and pay for their own joint housing. The couples had to do budgets because they had to figure out how much they could spend on their short-term housing. I remember hearing about what each person’s rent or mortgage was, how much consumer debt some of them had, and how much they made. Some of them didn’t lay it all out - they wrote their salaries on paper and exchanged them, for example (which is probably  what I would do) but the show definitely had more money talk before it started providing housing for the couples. I liked that because it made the marriages feel more real. They also had to factor in commutes when looking for places.

Ok, I just thought Vincent and Brianna went into too much detail to be shown on tv.  I agree, they could have just shown the information to each other.  

Edited April 9, 2021 by Crashcourse

[gonecrackers]

20 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

High blood pressure is a concern but thousands of woman with high blood pressure survive and have healthy babies. I think her real concern is her carefree life and figure may take a hit

My aunt had high BP which, after having 2 kids, became an even bigger lifetime problem, eventually causing a massive stroke; she lingered until her death months later; she was in her 50s. So thousands may survive & thrive, but not everyone will. Brianna's concerns are quite valid.

Reg. her figure a lot of men prefer their wives pre-kids bodies, & guys who can't face possible changes should either not get married, marry someone willing to adopt, or accept whatever will happen. The latter means loving her unconditionally (which they should anyway), & many just can't/won't/don't. Vinny has already mentioned liking how tiny she is, & that could be affecting her. But I must also mention men/our culture makes it difficult for women to not be concerned about physical changes from childbearing.

20 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Its a shame that being a mother with children is almost looked down upon.

I think it's more being a FT SAHM that tends to be looked down upon.

20 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

 This probably explains why divorces occur when the children leave. 

Divorces occurring after the kids grow up are often because a lot of folks hang on just for them, & are finally feeling free enough to leave once the kids are out on their own. 

20 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Eric should be patient and love the bad habits out of her.

You can't love addiction out of someone, or problems/bad habits for that matter. They are who they are. If she has underlying issues from her childhood causing her drinking that's on her alone to work on. He'll just be along for a bad ride until she does, or a divorce when it eventually gets unbearable for him. (And I'm not condoning his way about him either, at all).

13 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

23 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

If Ryan wanted a religious virgin he could find one on a Christian dating site. If he wants a marriage without sex, he should have gone on the unmatchable show because it will be very difficult to find a wife that doesn’t want sex.
 

I must have just got lucky then (sad face)

There are a lot of reasons some people may not want sex. Could be from past/present abuse, physical/hormonal issues, stress/depression/anxiety & other emotional issues, medications, etc., etc. I don't think this is Ryan though, especially if it's a one-way street. Maybe this is all a story line, & Clara is breaking out those high school acting chops for cable TV. She has mentioned loving an audience.

13 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Erik and Jake seem to think this is Last Chance Saloon, though. 

Yeah again I think this is story line BS. Maybe Jake is feeling it more because as he said all his friends were marrying, having kids etc. Haley too, done with being a bridesmaid & going solo to functions. Maybe both of them need to examine if they really want to be married or just want a plus one. I think Jake is more likely to be ready though, & not just because of his age. He'll do fine post-show.

"I've been married before I know how it's supposed to work" Erik will have two divorces under his belt when this fails. He seems kind of desperate sometimes, then other times he's practically pushing her out with the "You can always leave" crap. If he wants to move on after this he should at least display himself better.

 

[qtpye]

2 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

My aunt had high BP which, after having 2 kids, became an even bigger lifetime problem, eventually causing a massive stroke; she lingered until her death months later; she was in her 50s. So thousands may survive & thrive, but not everyone will. Brianna's concerns are quite valid.

Reg. her figure a lot of men prefer their wives pre-kids bodies, & guys who can't face possible changes should either not get married, marry someone willing to adopt, or accept whatever will happen. The latter means loving her unconditionally (which they should anyway), & many just can't/won't/don't. Vinny has already mentioned liking how tiny she is, & that could be affecting her. But I must also mention men/our culture makes it difficult for women to not be concerned about physical changes from childbearing.

I think it's more being a FT SAHM that tends to be looked down upon.

Divorces occurring after the kids grow up are often because a lot of folks hang on just for them, & are finally feeling free enough to leave once the kids are out on their own. 

You can't love addiction out of someone, or problems/bad habits for that matter. They are who they are. If she has underlying issues from her childhood causing her drinking that's on her alone to work on. He'll just be along for a bad ride until she does, or a divorce when it eventually gets unbearable for him. (And I'm not condoning his way about him either, at all).

There are a lot of reasons some people may not want sex. Could be from past/present abuse, physical/hormonal issues, stress/depression/anxiety & other emotional issues, medications, etc., etc. I don't think this is Ryan though, especially if it's a one-way street. Maybe this is all a story line, & Clara is breaking out those high school acting chops for cable TV. She has mentioned loving an audience.

Yeah again I think this is story line BS. Maybe Jake is feeling it more because as he said all his friends were marrying, having kids etc. Haley too, done with being a bridesmaid & going solo to functions. Maybe both of them need to examine if they really want to be married or just want a plus one. I think Jake is more likely to be ready though, & not just because of his age. He'll do fine post-show.

"I've been married before I know how it's supposed to work" Erik will have two divorces under his belt when this fails. He seems kind of desperate sometimes, then other times he's practically pushing her out with the "You can always leave" crap. If he wants to move on after this he should at least display himself better.

 

Eric has money and he thinks the money gives him leverage. It did not seem to work with his first wife but I do not know the circumstances of their divorce.

[Crashcourse]

5 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Eric has money and he thinks the money gives him leverage. It did not seem to work with his first wife but I do not know the circumstances of their divorce.

That's a good point about Eric thinking his money giving him leverage.   Virginia is young, probably doesn't make much money.  I do wonder how he would have acted if he'd been matched with Olivia from a previous season.  I forgot what her job was, but she made a pretty good salary and she was older.   

[Meowwww]

Ok, I’m old at 50. Heh.  But who spends 450 a month on clothes????   Holy crap.  Where do you even store so many clothes?  Do you throw everything out/donate it every six months?   
I agree with the Last Chance Saloon comments.  “Mr. Last Chance at Love?”   Ugh.  They are kids.  And anyway I bet the women are coming out of the woodwork for Jake.  He won’t be single long.  

[AnnMarie17]

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

Has there ever been a couple to lay out their finances in such detail that Vincent and Brianna have?  I'm still wondering if they made those numbers up for tv.  If they were, in fact, their actual expenses/salaries, then I think it's TMI.

I said to my husband, I'd rather discuss my sex life on TV than my financial details...I was super surprised they shared that spreadsheet with the world (or, rather, the handful of us who still subject ourselves to watching this "experiment"). 

[humbleopinion]

5 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

  And anyway I bet the women are coming out of the woodwork for Jake.  He won’t be single long.  

Jake's odds are good but his goods are odd.

Not that there is anything wrong with that....

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, Meowwww said:

Ok, I’m old at 50. Heh.  But who spends 450 a month on clothes????   Holy crap.  Where do you even store so many clothes?

She could be buying a few expensive things instead of a lot of cheap things. If your job is business formal, a suit, shirt, and dress shoes could easily run you $450. (My best friend's husband had to spend a lot of his first paycheck buying suits for his summer job at a BigLaw firm because he only owned two when he started.) There are jeans that cost $200 a pair. If she's including bags in that tally, she could drop a couple hundred on a purse. 

[cinsays]

8 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

She could be buying a few expensive things instead of a lot of cheap things. If your job is business formal, a suit, shirt, and dress shoes could easily run you $450. (My best friend's husband had to spend a lot of his first paycheck buying suits for his summer job at a BigLaw firm because he only owned two when he started.) There are jeans that cost $200 a pair. If she's including bags in that tally, she could drop a couple hundred on a purse. 

yeah, but monthly?

[Hip-to-be-Square]

1 hour ago, Boo Boo said:

That's what is so funny to me. Both are still in their 30s, attractive men with good careers and yet they will never ever find anyone else except for the person the experts purposefully mismatched them with?  I'm 53.  I guess I should just curl up and fucking die since no man is ever going to want me since my last chance at love evidently was in my 30s..

Jake and Erik act like they are in the 1976 sci-fi movie Logan's Run where a crystal flashes on their hand as soon as they turn 30 and they are deemed as a "runner" and  launched into a fiery mid-air death during the "carousel ritual" to be cast away from the forever 29 and under community.   I'm 32 and a single lady and I know women who are actively dating in their 30's to 70's and beyond.  I haven't found a husband yet, but I firmly believe that there isn't a timeline to find love and that people can date and marry at any age- the fashion designer Norma Kamali just got an article in brides.com for being engaged for the first time at 75.  From what I've watched so far: Jake and Eric have such deadline oriented views on age and love- they both could have found much more compatible wives or girlfriends if they kept the faith and put in the work to find it on their own.  These MAFS TV casted couplings aren't serendipitous, destined "the one" matches for any party and the  "experts" seem like they got their certifications at an hour long Learning Annex class at a convention center.  

[Alexander Pope]

9 minutes ago, cinsays said:

yeah, but monthly?

As someone who used to dress up for work and had a manageable shopping addiction, I can easily see how Brianna could spend that much a month on clothes.  One of the few good things about the pandemic, aside from spending more time with my husband and aging dog, is that I have broken that habit!

[Madding crowd]

44 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

46 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

My aunt had high BP which, after having 2 kids, became an even bigger lifetime problem, eventually causing a massive stroke; she lingered until her death months later; she was in her 50s. So thousands may survive & thrive, but not everyone will. Brianna's concerns are quite valid.

Reg. her figure a lot of men prefer their wives pre-kids bodies, & guys who can't face possible changes should either not get married, marry someone willing to adopt, or accept whatever will happen. The latter means loving her unconditionally (which they should anyway), & many just can't/won't/don't. Vinny has already mentioned liking how tiny she is, & that could be affecting her. But I must also mention men/our culture makes it difficult for women to not be concerned about physical changes from childbearing.

I think it's more being a FT SAHM that tends to be looked down upon.

Divorces occurring after the kids grow up are often because a lot of folks hang on just for them, & are finally feeling free enough to leave once the kids are out on their own. 

You can't love addiction out of someone, or problems/bad habits for that matter. They are who they are. If she has underlying issues from her childhood causing her drinking that's on her alone to work on. He'll just be along for a bad ride until she does, or a divorce when it eventually gets unbearable for him. (And I'm not condoning his way about him either, at all).

There are a lot of reasons some people may not want sex. Could be from past/present abuse, physical/hormonal issues, stress/depression/anxiety & other emotional issues, medications, etc., etc. I don't think this is Ryan though, especially if it's a one-way street. Maybe this is all a story line, & Clara is breaking out those high school acting chops for cable TV. She has mentioned loving an audience.

Yeah again I think this is story line BS. Maybe Jake is feeling it more because as he said all his friends were marrying, having kids etc. Haley too, done with being a bridesmaid & going solo to functions. Maybe both of them need to examine if they really want to be married or just want a plus one. I think Jake is more likely to be ready though, & not just because of his age. He'll do fine post-show.

"I've been married before I know how it's supposed to work" Erik will have two divorces under his belt when this fails. He seems kind of desperate sometimes, then other times he's practically pushing her out with the "You can always leave" crap. If he wants to move on after this he should at least display himself better.

 

 

 

45 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Of course there are reasons why someone can’t or won’t have sex. But it wouldn’t be fair to enter a brand new marriage without that information being told to your spouse. I feel it is unlikely for someone to go on this show if they needed or wanted a sex free marriage as the experts would have a hard time finding a match.

[humbleopinion]

24 minutes ago, cinsays said:

yeah, but monthly?

Yes, especially if you go out a lot and both Bri and Vinny are social and like to look fresh and on trend.

 I would include dry cleaning in the mix since Atlanta is hot you need to keep your investments clean and crisp.

Vinny is going to need to cut back on calories in to fit the clothes he bought for filming since the credit card bill is due  and 6 weeks in he is looking ‘tufted’ with the poppin’ buttons.

Edited April 9, 2021 by humbleopinion

[Ilovepie]

44 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Jake's odds are good but his goods are odd.

Not that there is anything wrong with that....

I don't find him that odd and I find him plenty attractive, and I think there will be many women who feel the same. I think the show has edited him as more strange than he actually is.....

27 minutes ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

From what I've watched so far: Jake and Eric have such deadline oriented views on age and love

I kind of understand it for both of them. Jake is 38 and is the only single one in his friend group. That can be a hard position to be in. He sounded kind of sad and lonely when explaining to Haley why he hadn't done much the last 10 years. Erik wants to have kids pronto. He is 34. I know they both still have time to have kids, but from my perspective it's understandable that they both feel there are time constraints looming unless you want to be wrapping up child rearing in your sixties. There is nothing wrong with that, but it's not for everyone.

27 minutes ago, Alexander Pope said:

I can easily see how Brianna could spend that much a month on clothes.  One of the few good things about the pandemic, aside from spending more time with my husband and aging dog, is that I have broken that habit!

I wish I had - I actually shopped more last year when I was furloughed due to boredom and all the extra free time! Also, the day drinking might have contributed to some questionable choices. Don't worry, not as much as VA, just more than normal for me! 😜

[Rae Spellman]

 

29 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

Of course there are reasons why someone can’t or won’t have sex. But it wouldn’t be fair to enter a brand new marriage without that information being told to your spouse. I feel it is unlikely for someone to go on this show if they needed or wanted a sex free marriage as the experts would have a hard time finding a match.

At this point in the series the participants have to know that the show may pair them with someone who is incompatible with them in some way. Several seasons ago, Jasmine was frustrated that Will wouldn't have sex with her. Last season, Miles was frustrated with Karen. It's absolutely on brand for MAFS to pair Clara with someone who would frustrate her. They might have done better to pair Ryan with the blonde Atlanta equivalent of Iris. 

Ryan and Clara may figure things out off-camera. After waiting four months to consummate their marriage, Miles and Karen say things are going well in that department. During Deonna and Greg's season, there was a bunch of discussion about how Deonna was going to ration sex. I've watched and listened to a few of their interviews. They seem fine, too.

[qtpye]

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

That's a good point about Eric thinking his money giving him leverage.   Virginia is young, probably doesn't make much money.  I do wonder how he would have acted if he'd been matched with Olivia from a previous season.  I forgot what her job was, but she made a pretty good salary and she was older.   

People think guys go for younger women because they want hot young things on their arms.

I think there are plenty of gorgeous women in their  30's, 40's, 50's, and beyond.

I think what is more on point is that a younger woman will be more "moldable" to an older man and more willing to adjust their lives around the man's needs, particularly if the man has a great financial advantage in the relationship.

1 hour ago, Alexander Pope said:

As someone who used to dress up for work and had a manageable shopping addiction, I can easily see how Brianna could spend that much a month on clothes.  One of the few good things about the pandemic, aside from spending more time with my husband and aging dog, is that I have broken that habit!

What can make a difference is if the person is obsessed with labels.  I once saw a very practical and frugal lawyer drop $1,200 on a Chanel bag (her favorite brand) but that was a once in a life time purchase.

People who are label obsessed will spend obscene amounts of money for the right "brand".

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

That's a good point about Eric thinking his money giving him leverage.   Virginia is young, probably doesn't make much money.  I do wonder how he would have acted if he'd been matched with Olivia from a previous season.  I forgot what her job was, but she made a pretty good salary and she was older.   

 

15 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I think what is more on point is that a younger woman will be more "moldable" to an older man and more willing to adjust their lives around the man's needs, particularly if the man has a great financial advantage in the relationship.

I think the other thing people forget is that Erik was/is in the military. They are often straight arrow rule followers. If he is an officer, even more so. I think that plays a huge factor in his "my way or the highway" mentality.

My (ex) uncle that was married to my mom's sister was a pilot in the Air Force. My aunt followed him all over the globe to whatever base he was assigned, and one of my cousins was actually born in Germany while they lived there. My Uncle was very much the same as Erik with his expectations of how "things should be". He was very particular about how my aunt kept the house and raised the kids -  to the point it made her neurotic. My aunt finally had enough and they were divorced when my cousins were upper elementary/jr. high age.

Erik trying to force Virginia to comply to his ideals of being married is a losing battle. Virginia is like a square peg, and he's trying to push her into a round hole. He might get her on board for a while, but she's going to be crushed by the weight of his expectations, or at the very least, bristle like she already is now until she snaps.

[bichonblitz]

2 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I do wonder how he would have acted if he'd been matched with Olivia from a previous season.  I forgot what her job was, but she made a pretty good salary and she was older.   

She is a nurse practitioner and made close to $100,000. She didn't want kids, wanted to go to expensive dinners often and wanted to travel extensively so that would be a no go for Erik. I think he would be better suited to Clara. Flight attendant, loves to be in love, would have kids with him sooner than later. Much better match. 

[Crashcourse]

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Jake's odds are good but his goods are odd.

Truth! 

Edited April 9, 2021 by Crashcourse

[StatisticalOutlier]

16 hours ago, Empress1 said:

If you add the numbers I entered plus $165 for electricity and internet, plus their $3000 for savings, it comes out to $9127.50 a month, or $109,530 per year - one of the numbers at the top of the screen. So actually, odds are good that that's not someone's income.

I would think it is someone's income--the individual numbers in the budget add up to the money going out, which should be the same as the money coming in.  I still can't figure out what the $89,130 is, since it has no relation to the budget.

And I was assuming that as an engineer, Briana alone could be pulling down over $100,000/year, but...

16 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I wonder what kind of engineer Briana is.

This is interesting.  From what I could find out on the internet, her job title is "information assurance engineer," and she doesn't have a degree in engineering (like civil engineering, mechanical engineering, electrical engineering).  If I'm looking at the right person, she has a B.S. in Cybersecurity and Information Assurance from an online university, and as recently as five years ago had a job leasing apartments, and as recently as two years ago was a "help desk analyst." 

I'm not knocking any of this, but I do now think I was completely wrong about thinking the $109,000 could be her take-home pay alone, and think it's the total take-home Briana and Vinny (and still have no clue know what the $89,000 is).

And I think it's completely wrong for someone without an engineering degree to be described as an "engineer" regardless of job title, and really hope it's just the show doing this.

 

[gonecrackers]

3 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

 

Of course there are reasons why someone can’t or won’t have sex. But it wouldn’t be fair to enter a brand new marriage without that information being told to your spouse. I feel it is unlikely for someone to go on this show if they needed or wanted a sex free marriage as the experts would have a hard time finding a match.

That's why I said I don't believe that's Ryan, etc. in my post.

Although anyone could slip under these 'expert's' radar.

[Sycophant4Lease]

Well,  here you go.  If it's true, I don't wish it on anyone.  But if it was staged. Then................

https://www.realitytvworld.com/news/married-at-first-sight-star-chris-williams-announces-ex-fiancee-mercedes-myrick-suffered-miscarriage-29140.php

[princelina]

55 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

That's why I said I don't believe that's Ryan, etc. in my post.

Although anyone could slip under these 'expert's' radar.

Yeah - if Chris could anyone could! 😄 

[pdlinda]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

And I think it's completely wrong for someone without an engineering degree to be described as an "engineer" regardless of job title, and really hope it's just the show doing this.

Knowing the demanding academic credentials and rigorous nature of obtaining an engineering degree (in my family-member's case electrical engineering from a highly-regarded university) I take extreme exception to anyone referring to him/herself as an "engineer" without going through such a bachelor's degree program as my family member did (and also continued to a Master's Degree).  Yes, he DID make a salary well into the 6 figures for the entirety of his career and it was very well deserved!

I'm confused and a bit frustrated by the lack of integrity on so many levels from the show this season.  It was completely unnecessary to portray many of the participants in a light that simply did not reflect reality, and Brianna is simply the latest example.  I'm sure she's a skilled professional in whatever capacity she serves; however, to classify her as an "engineer" seems disingenuous. 

If someone knows something to dispute that conclusion I certainly will retract it.

[Crashcourse]

I saw this article from Maryville University about becoming an Information Assurance Engineer.

https://online.maryville.edu/online-bachelors-degrees/cyber-security/careers/information-assurance-engineer/

This is the salary information:

"Information Assurance Engineer Salaries

Information assurance engineers’ salaries vary depending on experience as well as the location of the job, and compensation packages tend to be larger for professionals who have spent more time working in the field. The median annual salary for information assurance engineers in 2018 was $85,367, according to PayScale. The compensation website reports salaries ranging from $56,603 to $132,769 a year.

PayScale reports that the average entry-level salary for information assurance engineers is $75,000 a year. Those with five to 10 years of experience garner salaries that average $90,000 a year. Senior information engineers earn on average $93,000 a year. And those with more than 20 years of experience earn on average $118,000 a year."

Edited April 9, 2021 by Crashcourse

[Devvie]

49 minutes ago, Sycophant4Lease said:

Well,  here you go.  If it's true, I don't wish it on anyone.  But if it was staged. Then................

https://www.realitytvworld.com/news/married-at-first-sight-star-chris-williams-announces-ex-fiancee-mercedes-myrick-suffered-miscarriage-29140.php

"I had never been through this before so I didn't know what feelings were normal and what was abnormal, all I know is it felt like a funeral. We were devastated that a baby that made a grand entrance this big in my life now has made a grand exit!" Chris wrote.  

Well, it is ALL ABOUT HIM.  I think that's a very strange thing to write. . ."Grand Exit"?  Who says that about the death of a baby?  

[Sycophant4Lease]

3 minutes ago, Devvie said:

"I had never been through this before so I didn't know what feelings were normal and what was abnormal, all I know is it felt like a funeral. We were devastated that a baby that made a grand entrance this big in my life now has made a grand exit!" Chris wrote.  

Well, it is ALL ABOUT HIM.  I think that's a very strange thing to write. . ."Grand Exit"?  Who says that about the death of a baby?  

"Hello, my Queen."

"My name is Chris.  You'd make nice respectable trophy."

[gonecrackers]

35 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

Knowing the demanding academic credentials and rigorous nature of obtaining an engineering degree (in my family-member's case electrical engineering from a highly-regarded university) I take extreme exception to anyone referring to him/herself as an "engineer" without going through such a bachelor's degree program as my family member did (and also continued to a Master's Degree).  Yes, he DID make a salary well into the 6 figures for the entirety of his career and it was very well deserved!

I'm confused and a bit frustrated by the lack of integrity on so many levels from the show this season.  It was completely unnecessary to portray many of the participants in a light that simply did not reflect reality, and Brianna is simply the latest example.  I'm sure she's a skilled professional in whatever capacity she serves; however, to classify her as an "engineer" seems disingenuous. 

If someone knows something to dispute that conclusion I certainly will retract it.

Maybe others can add details but I recall them messing with people's work titles in past seasons as well.

[TeacherWoman]

On 4/7/2021 at 8:38 PM, jennyf said:

Erik was saying two different things to Virginia. He asked her to plan ahead for a weekend a month because he was parroting Dr Pepper, then basically put her on notice that he’d want her to change or cancel plans because of him. I don’t blame her for getting annoyed about that. Though I do have a hard time believing that a) she makes plans a week ahead of time and b) that his schedule is so incredibly unpredictable that he doesn’t know where he’ll be during the week. That conversation got ugly fast. And her not willing to acknowledge alcohol being a problem is obviously a major, major problem. 

As a low-seniority airline pilot, his schedule absolutely could be that incredibly unpredictable.  He will get the worst routes.  And get them last minute when a new crew needs to fill in.  Planning stuff in advance like Virginia wants is not possible all the time.  

I think Erik has gotten a bad edit on this.  If everyone heard his explanation about what his work month looks like, everyone would understand why he is saying planning the way she wants is not possible.

And... she does not want to place her marriage as the priority in her life.  Period.

 

[StatisticalOutlier]

53 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

Knowing the demanding academic credentials and rigorous nature of obtaining an engineering degree (in my family-member's case electrical engineering from a highly-regarded university) I take extreme exception to anyone referring to him/herself as an "engineer" without going through such a bachelor's degree program as my family member did (and also continued to a Master's Degree). 

Before posting, I ran my thoughts by Mr. Outlier, BSEE from the University of Texas. 😀  He's not one to pull rank, but does think that anyone without a bachelor's degree in engineering should, at most, be referred to as "working in engineering."  In Briana's case, I think it would be more along the lines of "working in cyber security." 

53 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

I'm confused and a bit frustrated by the lack of integrity on so many levels from the show this season.  It was completely unnecessary to portray many of the participants in a light that simply did not reflect reality, and Brianna is simply the latest example.  I'm sure she's a skilled professional in whatever capacity she serves; however, to classify her as an "engineer" seems disingenuous.

Now I'm wishing I could remember if they showed Vinny asking her what she does for a living, and how she answered.  I'd be shocked if she said, "I'm an engineer." 

Anybody else old enough to remember when housewives started calling themselves "domestic engineers"?

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

 Mr. Outlier, BSEE from the University of Texas. 😀 

Hook 'Em!

Edited April 10, 2021 by humbleopinion

[pdlinda]

22 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Now I'm wishing I could remember if they showed Vinny asking her what she does for a living, and how she answered.  I'd be shocked if she said, "I'm an engineer." 

Anybody else old enough to remember when housewives started calling themselves "domestic engineers"?

I can't quote specifically but I recall my ears perking up immediately upon Brianna's being referred to as an "engineer."  It was made very apparent that she was an "engineer" who works "in the field" as I recall because (unless I'm imagining it) she was shown in a "hard hat" and "work boots" ostensibly going out to a "job site."  I recall thinking, "WOW!!" she must be a civil engineer, KNOWING the difficulty and complexity of such a career.  I also recall many others referring to her as an "engineer" in the context of her being "bossy."

When she was paired with Vinny and he made the remark regarding his ex-GF saying she dumped him because he didn't have a college degree and she didn't "have his back" a little light went off in the back of my mind regarding the professional disparity between a civil engineer and whatever entrepreneurial gig he was pursuing having to do with cars.  

MY POINT:  Brianna must make a decent salary and she made an excellent choice of a career, one where with time and perhaps the acquisition of a graduate degree, will yield her a very successful career path; however, she's entry level in her field at this point and, from what the other poster said her previous work experience was not in cyber security so her salary must reflect that fact.  On that basis, the $109K salary figure seems inflated.  

Oh, and BTW, we always refer to the handymen working at our apartment complex as "MAINTENANCE ENGINEERS."  I admit they are highly skilled; HOWEVER, nothing would ever exceed the expertise and qualifications of a successful "DOMESTIC ENGINEER, AKA, HOMEMAKER!"😄

[Starlight925]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Before posting, I ran my thoughts by Mr. Outlier, BSEE from the University of Texas. 😀 

 

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Hook 'Em

UT grad here too!

And yeah, I, too, have been confused by Brianna's job title.  And I froze the budget screen to try and figure out the numbers, but maybe I was missing something.

As to whether they've done this before, with budgeting, the answer is yes, with Bobby and Danielle.  I remember she had credit card debt due to eyelashes, clothing, hair, etc., and Bobby was more of a saver.  They seem to have made it work; hopefully, Vincent & Brianna will do the same.  She does look awful cute in those $250 braids.

[Rae Spellman]

1 hour ago, pdlinda said:

MY POINT:  Brianna must make a decent salary and she made an excellent choice of a career, one where with time and perhaps the acquisition of a graduate degree, will yield her a very successful career path; however, she's entry level in her field at this point and, from what the other poster said her previous work experience was not in cyber security so her salary must reflect that fact.  On that basis, the $109K salary figure seems inflated.  

$109K net does seem high for an early career twenty-something in a region that where it's possible to buy a home with a $1700 mortgage. What would the gross be? If they have kids, I wonder how the cost of child care or Brianna taking time off from work would factor into their budget. 

[gingerandcloves]

I think the two different numbers on the spread sheet, the $109K and the $89K are with and without the mortgage/rent payment. $1700/mo x 12 mos = $20,400 which is the exact difference between the two. Not sure why they have both numbers listed, but maybe because she wouldn't have that rent cost if they got a place together or something...

Anyway, I don't really have an opinion on their budget. As long as they are in agreement with spending/saving and not going into a lot of debt, they should be fine.

I agree with the "engineer" title...if she doesn't have an engineering degree, I don't think she should be labeled as one. My son has a degree in audio engineering but I would never refer to him as an engineer.

[pwdrpuff]

Ryan has a small weenie and is ashamed of it. There, mystery solved.

[TwirlyGirly]

5 hours ago, TeacherWoman said:

As a low-seniority airline pilot, his schedule absolutely could be that incredibly unpredictable.  He will get the worst routes.  And get them last minute when a new crew needs to fill in.  Planning stuff in advance like Virginia wants is not possible all the time.  

I think Erik has gotten a bad edit on this.  If everyone heard his explanation about what his work month looks like, everyone would understand why he is saying planning the way she wants is not possible.

And... she does not want to place her marriage as the priority in her life.  Period.

 

I was going to reply to the same post you replied to; glad I finished reading the topic before I did!

I did a bit of research for my post, and learned because of the reduction of flights due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many of the major U.S. airlines have put their most junior pilots back on reserve status. 

For those not familiar, reserve status means you're not given a monthly schedule. Instead, you have to keep your phone handy and turned on 24/7, and if/when the airline calls you for a flight, you have to drop everything and get to the airport within a couple of hours.

I think that's the reason why the discussion about Virginia cancelling plans with her friends took place (I think something was edited out of that whole conversation).

Virginia probably said Erik would need to schedule their "together weekend" in advance, because she shouldn't be expected to cancel plans she's already made with her friends last-minute.

If Erik is on reserve status, he can't schedule their weekends in advance.

[Retired at last]

To only agree to spend one weekend a month with a brand new husband, which must be pre-arranged, speaks volumes about Ginnny's desire to be in a committed relationship. The only thing she is committed to is drinking.

[Airy2021]

On 4/7/2021 at 11:04 PM, NowVoyager said:

Um. Was I hallucinating or did PO$💩 say Paige could have come along on the shopping trip to buy Mercedes a Mercedes? 

He's got to be trolling us.

Also, his mouth looks like a butthole when he's spewing his usual bullshit.

This HAS to be trolling. There is NO way he was serious, right??? He’s a con man. I think this is all an act for tv.