S12.E12: Must Love Dogs

[Racj82]

4 minutes ago, Chalby said:

I think the word "protect" is a trigger for me because I have seen a couple of my friends slowly lose their independence in the name of their boyfriend "protecting" them. A specific example: I used to go jogging with a friend every night at 6:30 until one week when she could no longer run because her husband didn't feel it was safe for us.  He felt it was too dark at night because we were heading into fall/winter. Imagine, she ran every night before she met him and she survived and thrived. She insisted she needed to run but he flat out said no because if she was abducted he would never forgive himself for not protecting her. If she needed to run that. So I view Eric's protection spiel as just a crock.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. In theory, I get it. In Erik's case, it seems like control.

I get not wanting your significant other not to be out jogging in the dark. All I needed to see was the central park 5 miniseries once. You can go running a thousand times. It only takes one time. I wouldn't tell my wife she can't do it. I'm not her master. But, I would be worried. Shit. As a man, I don't feel comfortable moving around in darkness within certain places.

[endure]

Did anyone feel like Eric seemed a bit drunk when they were on the bed together.....it was supposedly taking place first thing in the morning but I’m  not so sure, the camera crew and producer were already up and running so the timeline was probably fake.  He was really being an asshole like some can be when they’ve been drinking. Virginia seemed fine other than being annoyed with him which I didn’t blame her for at all.

[Blissfool]

2 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Look at Ryan out here acting like Erik Jr trying to give out marriage advice and saying he's doing better than most MAFS couples ever.

I don't get why he doesn't acknowledge her sadness.. she's rubbing her eyes, on the verge of tears he he keeps smiling at her saying "We're great."

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

 

She doesn't want the dog trained - again why? Doesn't trust him? Hire a trainer FFS & do it together. Geez I don't get it.

Right? What's so wrong about training Rockie? It looks like he could benefit from it. 

To me, it seems like she's the one unwilling to compromise. She doesn't want to stop crashing at her guy friends' apartments. She doesn't want to live in Eric's apartment. She doesn't want to train her dog.

3 minutes ago, endure said:

Did anyone feel like Eric seemed a bit drunk when they were on the bed 

No. He was a lot drunk.

4 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

VA seems less drunk lately.
I

Maybe that's why she's been an emotional mess. 

[princelina]

On 3/29/2021 at 3:26 PM, Crashcourse said:

Then one day, the ex invited a friend and his wife over for drinks.  We were sitting there chatting, then all of a sudden the dog walked over to the guy, hiked her little butt over his shoe and pissed on it.  We were horrified and kept apologizing, but the wife looked over at her husband like "that dog pissed on your shoe for a reason.  Who have you been seeing?"  Understandably, they never came over again.

But did you ever find out what happened with them?

5 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Jake just confirmed on Unfiltered that Haley is "gone after they're done with their activities for the day".  In other words, she's only showing up for the cameras, when she whines about how much she's giving & trying. 🙄

So I've been pretty much Team Jake since she ditched him with the others on the honeymoon, but I was ready to come on here tonight and say - Fine - he's not even trying.  But now I see why 😄 

4 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

If he doesn't  know where Virginia  is for 40 minutes he freaks out!

If I went to a bar with someone (anyone!) and they disappeared for 40 minutes - I'd be pissed.  That being said - Erik did NOT come off well tonight!  Although the "anxiety" excuse doesn't hold water for me - my SIL used to use that excuse (partly real and partly she could work herself into a panic attack if things weren't goin her way) - since she stopped her excessive drinking, anxiety and panic attacks have become a thing of the past for her.  I'm just saying 😐

4 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I am not sure who else did this, but she did assign it to Mindy and Zach when he wasn't "feeling attraction" to Mindy.

Tantric yoga - the other one I remember is Iris and her husband 😄  (It didn't work for them 😄 )

3 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

No.  I think internally they are popular with Conservative Blacks, but not externally.  I do think he is trying to figure things out. I straightened my hair when I joined a band and dated plenty of non-Black women. I dont hate him for having the Syndrome  I am just observing.  Its not really his hair, per say.  Its more his affect. Its really off and guarded.  He never looks chilled out like the others. I dont think we are seeing his real personality.  It could be editing.

IMO it's that he's not comfortable with the cameras - probably afraid of his parents and family seeing anything.  He made Clara agree on the honeymoon not to talk about their sex life!  Ironically, if he'd have just given it up she could have said "we did it - it was great!" on the honeymoon and they'd be focused on something else now!

[Rae Spellman]

Chris' mother pleasantly surprised me this episode. Erik didn't seem to really hear the part about dog training giving the dog dad tips. Or that the dog becoming their dog being something of a process that happens over time not on day twenty-whatever this is.  Is Karen, Henry, Stephanie, or Iris' Keith the MAFS spouse that's the difference between him being in the top 1% versus the best ever?

Paige has two therapists and doesn't seem to know things she could have learned from a couple of episodes of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. She seems to have never considered that her married brother is in the process of breaking the generational marriage curse. Or, maybe there was never a curse. Twenty-six is young though. Maybe the most awesome MAFS spouse ever could take her under his wing and give her some advice that she can use in her next relationship. 

 

[becauseIsaidso]

I think the one and only thing chris has ever found attractive about Paige is her financial stability. If the teaser of Decision Day that was shown on the recent special episode is accurate, and chris actually has the nerve to say he can speak for Paige, he is clearly relying on his 'christian' principle of wives being submissive to their husbands in all things to pave his way into her bank account and property. I have no idea what sort of job baby(maybe)mamma has/had, but chris clearly thinks he has the right to benefit both financially and materially from the efforts of others without doing a damn bit of work himself.

Actually, that's not quite correct; IMO chris works very hard at grifting anything he can.

[cinsays]

11 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I think your last sentence is the truest about Ryan thus far. And for that reason, he's not about to risk sex (and a critique) with Chatty-Cathy Clara while the show is filming!

agreed

i think they will do the deed soon after the show ends maybe, but even then she will be all over twitter or other media telling everybody about it in detail.

get a filter girl!

[NowVoyager]

Virginia said she has had untreated anxiety for about a year. Clearly she is using alcohol to self-medicate, although conversely it's probably exacerbating it. 

Clara gets Ryan off every night, but he doesn't take off his shirt? That's odd for someone who is very fit and works out so much. And if they do everything but intercourse, why is she so sexually frustrated? It sounds like the activities are not mutual. If so, Ryan is very selfish.

Page's whispery voice disappeared when she talked to her brother. I wish she had decided to leave Chris instead of waiting around for him to dump her. 

Vincent called Paige "sugar momma," so I guess she is the bread winner in the household. Good that neither of them seems to have a problem with that. 

It was such a relief to watch Jacob eat some vegetables. And that's my say something nice about Hayley. Win-win.

[Baltimore Betty]

11 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Like when they went over his house and everything appeared need for the cameras, but when you dug in under the hood, it wasnt neat. 

I said that from the second it was aired, surface appearence was tidy but open up the cabinets and you see random clutter on a wonky shelf, clothes stuffed in drawers, nothing folded, some people gave me a hard time about saying that but I knew there was something to that.

The more Clara pouts about not getting any he pulls back further, she has not learned how to cultivate a relationship with him, everything Clara tries is just a way to get in his pants and Ryan knows this.

Why is Clara still doing the daily hand jobs for him, what is his motivation for doing anything different, we teach people how to treat us. 

Clara can break the cycle but she is too hyper focused on keeping the relationship going even if she is being completely pathetic, maybe she likes to be the victim as in once again she fell in love but the guy didn't love her back.  Clara needs to know her worth.

 

[Racj82]

50 minutes ago, becauseIsaidso said:

I think the one and only thing chris has ever found attractive about Paige is her financial stability. If the teaser of Decision Day that was shown on the recent special episode is accurate, and chris actually has the nerve to say he can speak for Paige, he is clearly relying on his 'christian' principle of wives being submissive to their husbands in all things to pave his way into her bank account and property. I have no idea what sort of job baby(maybe)mamma has/had, but chris clearly thinks he has the right to benefit both financially and materially from the efforts of others without doing a damn bit of work himself.

Actually, that's not quite correct; IMO chris works very hard at grifting anything he can.

Nope. He also loved her backside and that's something I know Chris was not lying about.

[Maccagirl]

11 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Ryan the self-proclaimed best MAFS huzband evah. 🙄

Fir sure, fir sure. 

[Booger666]

Loved Paige’s bro and SiL.  The bro and Chris’ pastor should replace the experts.  And it was very sweet how the SiL seemed so upset for Paige.  It was nice to see Paige happy for Briana about her marriage.  

It was very tough to watch Erik and VA this week.  It’s not healthy and they both seem to drink too much so there isn’t a rational thought between them.  Clarifying point about VA’s “disappearance”: Erik said VA disappeared for 40 min, she said that wasn’t true, and he wouldn’t know cause he was so drunk he left his phone in the Uber.  I’m sure they were both stupid drunk so who knows how it went down but the fact that he was digging in his heels and threatening her with “you can leave” was ugly and nasty.  Clarifying point about VA’s dog: VA acknowledged Rocky needed training regarding biting, her concern is that Erik is too firm with Rocky (which I agree with, he is not Erik’s dog yet) and that Erik wants to discipline Rocky for jumping on people and that Erik’s dog jumps on people too so that’s not fair.

Haley was quite the sore winner.  Not a good look.

[theartandsound]

If I had to take a shot every time Ryan has said "sure" or "for sure," I'd be dead. 

And Virginia needs to sit Erik down and lay out everything in a calm and rational manner and not him say a goddamned word. Tall order yes, but his passive aggression, gaslighting, etc. are a horrorshow.

[SandyMac12]

14 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Tantric yoga is TMI. IMO. 

Eric wants a younger wife because  he wants children. But as for a wife in general, he should  have one nearer to his age and experience, so he couldn't  play his "I'm  older, I've  been there" card. 

If he doesn't  know where Virginia  is for 40 minutes he freaks out!

But sounds like they were in a bar or restaurant, right? When you go out with your spouse, you don't just go off on your own for 40 min without a word, that's just rude. She was probably sneaking shots at the bar.

Edited April 1, 2021 by SandyMac12

[SandyMac12]

14 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

My thoughts:

Jake is passive-aggressive and should be concentrating on looking good for the next girlfriend who may watch this show.  Jake is not a bad guy, but it is time to move on to greener pastures. If I was in his position, I would go out with Hailey to bars and and get numbers from women who actually like me, shile still be Hailey should just try to be nice and genuine.  They wont make it. 

Chris I think is full of shit.  I don’t even believe that he has a kid coming. Paige is an accountant.  I expect better from her.  She is supposed to be analytical.  I don’t know what game she is playing. This couple sucks ass.

Brianna and Insecure will make it.  I like this couple. They seem to really like each other.

VA seems less drunk lately. I thought she had a point about 5 animals in a tiny apartment. Its going to be a nightmare and stress out their marriage. They should just rent a place before they buy, and Eric should AirBnB his place just in case things don’t work out. Eric seems inflexible and condescending. I don’t know why they would match a MAGA with an anti-MAGA.  I know several divorces going down with friends on mine in the same situation. Especially since VAs sister is a lesbian. Its like matching an Orthodox Jew with a Halal Muslim.  Theoretically it could work, but the odds are not good, and nobody really would be to blame since it would be entirely cultural. Eric has to fully accept VAs sister, even if he doesn’t believe in her rights. Eric does look tiny compared to Viviana. I didn’t realize she was so tall. Everybody is bigger than Eric. He looks like a good pilot though. VA has to give up her dreams of passing out on her male friend’s sofa.  That would be a good compromise.

Poor Clara.  It looks like she has to do all the hard work. Is he at least going down on her to show appreciation? I like her.  She is bit over the top but genuine. She should probably get a makeover since she seems naturally beautiful. She could tone down the blonde by adding pink. Ryan is fighting internal battles.  He want to be the Model Minority, so he communicates in controlled, corporate jargon. On the outside he is neat, on the inside he is a messy train wreck. My parents were hyper-religious, but I raged it out the first chance I got. He seems guarded and like he is holding something back.

 I don’t understand his hair or beard patch. I’ve seem some White guys with it, but they normally have hipster beards.   I think he is trying to be a Model Minority hipster, but its just not working out for him.  He should get a makeover too.  I noticed he wore a BLM shirt.  I wonder if that affected group dynamics.  Also, Model Minorites don’t wear BLM shirts, so he is completely mixed messaging.

I agree about the patchy beard - what I hate even more is that pasted down patch of hair!  Either have no hair, or some soft hair that is touchable!!  More importantly, why is he so afraid of getting intimate with her? He needs to realize now is the time to take it to the next level, and being more intimate will help them bond & bring them closer at this point. No more "I need to get to know you better".  There's something a little off about him in that respect. 

[Crashcourse]

10 hours ago, princelina said:

But did you ever find out what happened with them?

No, I never did, but maybe my ex did and just didn't tell me.   I forgot to add, the guy had on a very nice pair of leather shoes.  It was just weird because the dog had never done anything like that before. 

[Rae Spellman]

5 hours ago, SandyMac12 said:

I agree about the patchy beard - what I hate even more is that pasted down patch of hair!  Either have no hair, or some soft hair that is touchable!!  More importantly, why is he so afraid of getting intimate with her? He needs to realize now is the time to take it to the next level, and being more intimate will help them bond & bring them closer at this point. No more "I need to get to know you better".  There's something a little off about him in that respect. 

Plenty of couples never consummated their marriages or waited until after decision day. Iris and Keith. Jaime and Doug. Jasmine and Will. Karen and Miles.

Clara has a history of emotionless sex, is probably more experienced than Ryan, and talks a lot. Ryan could find that intimidating. Or, maybe it turns him off. Did Clara tell us who is initiating whatever it is that they are doing? She could be initiating hoping that it leads to whatever it is she wants and he accepts it hoping that it will be enough to hold her off another day. Then both of them are annoyed and/or frustrated.

Clara seems like a nice enough lady. But, aren't there single ladies that adore his flavor of bland at his church or on the periphery of his friend group?

Edited April 1, 2021 by Rae Spellman
spelling

[LennieBriscoe]

1 hour ago, SandyMac12 said:

But sounds like they were in a bar or restaurant, right? When you go out with your spouse, you don't just go off on your own for 40 min without a word, that's just rude. She was probably sneaking shots at the bar.

I didn't realize they were out together! Bad move, Virginia!

[Retired at last]

I read the first 2 pages of comments before the show was on here, so I knew not to expect too much. And , fortunately, I even dozed off and on, so I missed anything that had to do with Paige and Chris, but I did see part of Paige's visit with her brother and sil. 

What I did happen to see a lot of was Erik and Ginny. I realized that I cannot understand a word she says. She talks so fast and mumbly and there was so much bleeping out of profanity, that I had no idea what she was saying. I did see that she may start strong when confronting Erik, but she caves and starts freaking out. She so needs treatment for her anxiety issues - AND she needs to not be around someone who can trigger them. Erik is a bully and all his talk about protecting her and being concerned for her is BS. I am really glad that she told him that they were NOT as OK as he keeps saying. Maybe she needs to write it all out and then read it to him, with a facilitator there to stop him from interrupting her and at least know that she said what she needed to say. I know, as a dog owner, that I would not want him disciplining my dog, especially if his isn't perfect. And, it was funny when she said she was out on a leasheless walk, but that is going to get her in trouble or Rocky hurt. I know she did that as a passive-aggressive FU to him.

The yoga thing was weird. Ryan would get so far and then start laughing about something. Clara is not going to get anything anywhere until the cameras are gone. I still don't get why his shirt has never come off, though. That is weird. Production just really cast wrong people this time.

I just saw when Vinnie rattled off a bunch of "dates" he wanted Brianna to take him on. He has expensive tastes for some those trips. I know that she is the breadwinner, but let's not abuse it.

I didn't see anything with Chris or his mom, so yay!

 

Edited April 1, 2021 by Retired at last
correct typos

[psychoticstate]

Oh boy.

I was team Eric until last night's episode.  Now I understand why Virginia drinks so much -- she's self-soothing.  She seems to suffer from some pretty serious anxiety, which should have been a red flag to the "experts."  I can't imagine how much marrying a stranger and then moving into a "neutral" apartment with said stranger, and leaving your cats behind, would incite anxiety.  I also understand how much  Rockie means to her; I had an amazing little Boston Terrier (like Eric's Tex) who helped me survive a painful divorce.  I adored my BT and I would have thrown down with anyone who criticized him.  

I already felt that Eric and Virginia wouldn't make it based on her immaturity and desire to party but Eric's rigid military-like stance on everything wont' gel either.  For every good thing he does (like taking Rockie to the pet store, asking questions from a trainer, buying Rockie a toy), he fucks it up by berating Virginia, being hostile, etc.  

Frankly, Virginia needs to pack herself and Rockie up, go back home and find a good therapist.  Eric can just fly away -- I'll take Tex!  

Jake and Haley are another lost cause.  I think Jake was looking a bit down after losing to Haley with the go-karts because he knows it's all for the cameras and that's it.   Brianna and Vincent aren't far off when they say that Jake and Haley just need to communicate.  Neither "gets" the other's personality.  And Haley can STFU with her constant refrain of how she's trying and she'll all by herself.  Girl, Sophie is trying more than you are.  And speaking of, Jake and Sophie are beyond cute.  He does seem to be a good dog dad - something that we NEVER see Haley comment on.

Brianna and Vincent should make it.  I loved their bike ride.  They are doing what MAFS couples should do during the 8-week period.  They are getting to know each other and doing low-key stuff.  Not everything is a major discussion or debate. 

I think Ryan is super cute with Miska but he seems very intimidated by Clara.  Understandable, since she is coming across as wanting a hard d*ck inside her, whether it's Ryan's or not.  Why can't she just talk to him about why it's okay that she's getting him off every night but he's not laying down the pipe?  She smiles and doesn't say anything to him but it's clear she's simmering and seething (as we saw at the end of last night's show.)   I understand Ryan wanting to get to know her but I don't understand how doing everything but actually putting it in (paraphrasing) is different.   I want them to go the distance, though, because I like each of them and I think they could be a good couple if they would just talk to each other.

How many times is Paige going to be "done" with Chris?   How many times is she going to tell us or someone else that this time it's over?  Enough already!  Chris should have been unceremoniously dumped in Vegas after Paige found out he wasn't attracted to her, despite hitting it twice on their wedding night, and then that Chris had not only been engaged two months before MAFS but also that his former fiancee was pregnant.  Peace out.   

Paige's brother and Chris's mother are clearly smarter than their sibling/offspring.  I don't need to see Chris ever again on my tv.  I could tell that Brianna was alternating between jumping for joy and smacking Paige upside the head with a "No shit!" when Paige announced that it was over (again) and she deserved better (duh).  

Unless the editing monkeys were at work, the previews for Decision Day (which should still be quite a few episodes down the road) pretty much gave away how it's going to go.   

[StatisticalOutlier]

16 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I don't usually watch Unfiltered but I just checked in and Jake looks like a muscle bound goon. 

I'm biased because the only muscles I like are useful ones, or are a byproduct of doing something that requires strength.  Body builders leave me cold, and Jake was bad enough in the episodes, and now seems to be pouring it on.  Seeing all those supplements did not improve my opinion of him.

 

15 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Dog Dad. Dog mom. Yeah I'm fast forwarding through this whole segment.

Then, sadly, you might have missed where he was referring to himself as a "father figure" to the dog. 

 

15 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I’m a cyclist. This scene between Vincent & Brianna where they’re riding bikes is cute.

Don't you think she needs to have her seat higher?  That always drives me nuts.  I might have thought Vinny did it on purpose to slow her down, but he let her win. 

 

14 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Sunflowers scare the hell out of me.  I hate them.

OMG!  I thought I was the only one out there who felt this way.  Thank you for opening up. 

 

12 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

I just saw when Vinnie rattled off a bunch of "dates" he wanted Brianna to take him on. He has expensive tastes for some those trips. I know that she is the breadwinner, but let's not abuse it.

Oh, it's the money!  Because as he was rattling off all these "dates," I was thinking that none of them required that he be married.

 

[StatisticalOutlier]

12 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

Frankly, Virginia needs to pack herself and Rockie up, go back home and find a good therapist. 

I think she should find out the names of Paige's two therapists, and go to someone else.

12 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

I could tell that Brianna was alternating between jumping for joy and smacking Paige upside the head with a "No shit!" when Paige announced that it was over (again) and she deserved better (duh). 

Brianna won me over on Unfiltered when she was pressed for her opinion on Paige and Chris (with Paige sitting right there), and responded honestly, but then added, "Opinions are like assholes."  It's hard not to like that.

[Shauna]

15 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Haley was a Go-Kart ringer!

Vincent got Brianna a guy's bike. 🚴‍♂️

Yes, I noticed this (boy's bike) when he presented it to her in an earlier episode.  Clueless. 

[Ilovepie]

Ok, gonna vomit out my thoughts, so apologies if any of this has already been stated:

Forget decision day: For three of these couples a decision has already been made and there is no drama there worth discussing. Chris and Paige and Jake and Haley can just get gone. They are done. And Vincent and Brianna are the obvious yes couple. This proves why there needs to be some iffy couples - they are a great couple, but it's not great tv. Reminds me of Jessica & Austin. ZZZZ......

Erik and Virginia. Wow. He is a condescending, patronizing prick and she is a damaged little girl who self medicates with alcohol. This feels extremely toxic. I don't like watching this anymore. And what goes on with him? Was this opposite week because VA seemed sober and Erik seemed high or drunk. I feel like there was a lot edited out of those conversations and yelling sessions. He keeps saying "you can do whatever you want" but then he is demanding and telling her how she should act because "we're married!". Just no. And what the hell was all the drama over the damn dog???? She acknowledges that he needs training, Erik says he'll take care of it. Where is the problem? Enough already!

Ryan and Clara. Oh my lord, he needs to get a clue. In the words of MTV's Real World - these two need to stop being polite and start getting real. He is going to be shocked when he sees this show because he thinks everything is great and she so clearly does not. Why is she censoring herself? I think they both are in some ways. Why is she talking to the experts, the other girls and the camera about her sex frustrations but not him? I wonder what would happen if he just went ahead and had sex with her. Would that solve all her problems? Somehow I don't think so......

All the dogs FTW. I did laugh when they showed all the dog dads gushing over their wife's dogs and then that asshat Chris saying "IDGAF about Bentley." Still no idea how this garbage human made it onto this show......

[Shauna]

So VA knows she is going to be filmed (kitchen scene) and can't be bothered to drag a brush through her hair. 

[princelina]

I think part of Erik's problem is that he's attracted and excited about his hot young wife, that they had instant chemistry, went better than he expected at first, so he's trying to make her happy on the one hand by drinking, going out and doing things that he just doesn't really know how to do.  Then they end up in stupid drunken fights that he doesn't know what to do with either.  Then when he's sober he thinks he's helping her to mature and act right, but he doesn't do that right either because he acts too much like a dad or a principal, as some have said.  He's definitely being a dick, but I can't hate him completely in that he came on this show as a guy who wanted to be married, and she came on as a girl who wanted to continue hitting the bars with her guys friends but thought it would be fun to take a husband along as well.  She's still the one who should never have been cast.

[Empress1]

34 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Don't you think she needs to have her seat higher?  That always drives me nuts.  I might have thought Vinny did it on purpose to slow her down, but he let her win. 

I don’t recall. If her seat is too low & she sticks with riding, her knees will let her know soon enough.

4 minutes ago, princelina said:

I think part of Erik's problem is that he's attracted and excited about his hot young wife

Is Virginia hot? I think she and Erik are pretty evenly matched in terms of attractiveness (both average, IMO). The main difference between them to me is that Virginia always looks a little unkempt to me (there were a lot of scenes this episode where I was thinking that her hair needed brushing) and Erik looks more buttoned-up. Of all the women, Virginia appears to take the least care re: her appearance and dresses the most casually.

ETA: jinx, @Shauna

Edited April 1, 2021 by Empress1

[Ilovepie]

15 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

Its more his affect. Its really off and guarded.  He never looks chilled out like the others. I dont think we are seeing his real personality.  It could be editing.

I agree 100%. Unless by some miracle they survive and join Couples Cam, I do not think we will ever actually see Ryan's true self. He is so closed off I have no idea what goes on there. I think he is doing this deliberately because he doesn't want his business on tv. He might be the most aware of the cameras of anyone in the history of this show. I think we might have gotten a glimmer when it was just they guys hanging out. He definitely seemed more relaxed and happy.....

[Nancybeth]

6 minutes ago, princelina said:

I think part of Erik's problem is that he's attracted and excited about his hot young wife, that they had instant chemistry, went better than he expected at first, so he's trying to make her happy on the one hand by drinking, going out and doing things that he just doesn't really know how to do.  Then they end up in stupid drunken fights that he doesn't know what to do with either.  Then when he's sober he thinks he's helping her to mature and act right, but he doesn't do that right either because he acts too much like a dad or a principal, as some have said.  He's definitely being a dick, but I can't hate him completely in that he came on this show as a guy who wanted to be married, and she came on as a girl who wanted to continue hitting the bars with her guys friends but thought it would be fun to take a husband along as well.  She's still the one who should never have been cast.

This. All of this. Eric and Virginia are a pile of dysfunction, and my prediction is that they will stay married on decision day and then be one of the couples who divorce shortly thereafter. Eric has always seen this as a competition -- I think it was on their wedding night when he made the comment about being the "best couple" -- and given his personality and the fact that he has been divorced once, I think he'll do whatever he can not to have to say he wants out on Decision Day. BUT things are not going to go well for them. Virginia needs to find a way to manage her anxiety and drinking. Eric needs to treat his wife like an equal and not go into parental mode. Maybe with some serious counseling, individually and as a couple, they could sort things out. 

Virginia should not have been cast. I think Eric and Haley could have been an more interesting, functional match. 

Brianna and Vincent should have been wearing helmets. That said, they're cute together and are actually the best couple -- sorry Eric. 

[Blissfool]

22 minutes ago, Shauna said:

So VA knows she is going to be filmed (kitchen scene) and can't be bothered to drag a brush through her hair. 

It's not as easy as it sounds...it getting stuck on every knot 🤷🏻‍♀️

[StatisticalOutlier]

51 minutes ago, Shauna said:

Yes, I noticed this (boy's bike) when he presented it to her in an earlier episode.  Clueless. 

Considering it was during the pandemic, I think it was a miracle he was able to get his hands on any bike.

[Empress1]

15 minutes ago, Nancybeth said:

Brianna and Vincent should have been wearing helmets. That said, they're cute together and are actually the best couple -- sorry Eric. 

They also shouldn't have been on the sidewalk (they were on the sidewalk in the beginning and eventually made their way into the street), but you're right, they cute.

[Devvie]

38 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

I was team Eric until last night's episode.  Now I understand why Virginia drinks so much -- she's self-soothing.  She seems to suffer from some pretty serious anxiety, which should have been a red flag to the "experts."  I can't imagine how much marrying a stranger and then moving into a "neutral" apartment with said stranger, and leaving your cats behind, would incite anxiety.  I also understand how much  Rockie means to her;

I just watched the E/V sofa again. Just want to make sure I am fair. Totally, not for E but against V (does that make sense?).  Why the F would she think she's ready for marriage?  She has "anxiety" issues (which is no doubt exasperated by her alcoholism - I agree she's self medicating), has a bunch of pets, doesn't want to move, doesn't seem to know what marriage even is, etc.  A mature woman would think all these things through before signing up to be married!  Erik has almost no choice in the way he deals with her. (Disappearing for 40 minutes when she's on a date with her husband...?) She cries and loses it during a calm discussion of her dog.  She is a black hole of despair, anxiety, instability, and alcoholism.  Erik needs to pull the plug before he's sucked in too far to save himself.  Maybe she can be fixed with treatment, medication, AA and therapy.  But SHE needs to get herself on that journey. This is beyond his abilities and I think it's very unfair to him. The conversation over the dog SHOULD have been.  E - your dog bites.  V - Oh, I am so sorry.  Where did you go for dog training? E- I went to X.  V - OK thanks. That is not a conversation that warrants tears or raised voices.  It made me wonder if she had been drinking or needed a drink.  (Once someone gets to a certain point they actually NEED to drink and I think she's there.)  I did not want to think this . . .  I was really hopeful about them.  But, she can't handle normal.  

Jake has atrocious table manners.  He leans on the table (with his whole arm on one side and his elbow on the other), overloads his plate, talks with his mouth full, talks about vomiting, and stabs a large piece of meat and eats it off his fork one bite at a time. He cannot make conversation (that Thai "conversation" was a huge wince). She has to ask him to ask her a question.  He's just rude all around. She might be wound a little tight but I would be embarrassed to take him any where.  For example, you couldn't take him to a work function or an interview dinner, etc. (For F-sakes, there's a CAMERA filming and documenting you eating like a cave man, Jake!!!)   

[Guest]

so basically, the producers saw that Erik had issues with Rocky and decided to milk a whole episode out of it by making everyone do activities with their dogs to set the stage for an Erik/Virginia fight. I’m sure Virginia appreciated that.

I know most people here aren’t huge Virginia fans and I agree she drinks way too much (which also creates some of the fights when lightweight Erik can’t hold his liquor but tries to keep up). However, I’m firmly team Virginia and increasingly so as the episodes progress. Erik is a condescending, gaslighting manipulator. He sees Rocky as an extension of his wife - a problem child that has to be tamed into obedience. I was disturbed during their Conversation where Virginia was nervously trying to keep Rocky off Erik because I didn’t want him to snap at either of them. Every time the dog does something he doesn’t like, it will be her fault. Notice he never says HIS dog needs training. And even if he doesn’t, a good way of making the criticism seem softer or more indirect is to compromise and say let’s send both of the dogs to training! Even if deep down you secretly only think one of them needs it. So now Virginia is going to be walking on eggshells and living in fear of being reprimanded for the dog? I get that he seems kind of hyper and whiny at times, but I don’t think it warrants that level of condescension or lecturing. Rocky was just trying to be friendly and get him to play on the couch and didn’t seem to be aggressive or trying to nip Erik at all. He will always find things to correct and criticize her about. Virginia needs to leave - the audio fight while Rocky was sitting on the couch said everything we need to know about what their life would be like post cameras. I feel really bad for her, especially because he never seems to care when she gets upset and just says some variation of “ what I said or what happened was reasonable so I don’t get why you’re upset (so I’ve decided you’re unjustified)” instead of trying to understand her feelings or be self-reflective in any way. You know when Vinny gives you advice to admit you’re wrong, you’ve already lost. Whoever his friend was that said he was worried that Erik would mess things up by treating his marriage like a coaching session was right. 

Haley and Jake are almost too boring to comment on. Yeah she’s running out the clock, but he also totally ignores her in every conversation. Plus he constantly bugs her about when things will get romantic again as a part of “trying” but he already knows she’s not attracted to him, so it just feels like a guilt trip and it’s very uncomfortable. I do think she’s being disingenuous by trying to save face and pretend like she’s committed until decision day, but for lack of a more eloquent way of putting it, he’s also very self-pitying and whiny. If Jake thinks he can guilt trip or dad joke her back into bed, keep dreaming. I don’t understand how they ever had sex, but mostly I don’t understand why either of them are still there. I think Haley’s friend calling her out for not being attracted to Jake for superficial reasons really stuck with her and now she is staying to prove to herself she’s not shallow or whatever. 

Clara and Ryan’s sex arrangement made a tiny bit of sense when it just seemed like he was avoiding intercourse for whatever reason. But her comment tonight implied that nothing has ever been reciprocated. So...she just jerks him off every night and he goes to sleep? And she keeps letting him circle talk to her about how sex is so meaningful to him and that’s why they can’t have it yet? I don’t think there could be any clearer signal that someone obviously wasn’t attracted to you. Even though I don’t get asking someone you’re not attracted to to get you off, if I were Ryan, I would feel progressively more embarrassed and awkward that I was asking someone to do that on a daily basis and not reciprocating anything. But Ryan certainly seems cool with it! What a douche. Even Zac didn’t do that. 

Loved Vinny dancing for Cookie!

[bichonblitz]

17 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I might dislike Erik more than Chris at this point. He's a rigid, controlling, condescending asshole. I'd categorize the way he's speaking to her right now as abusive. "How long are you gonna be mad? Keep going." He's mocking her.

Wow, he has done a 180 turn around since I first fell in love with him! It must be hell being in a relationship with him. Then he pulls that "but I just love you so much" bullshit. I do love when Virgingin said "we act like everything is fine, but it's not". To the outside world, Erik wants to be perceived as perfect. He's a phony.

Having said that, what was Virgingin doing at the restaurant/bar where she had to disappear for 40 minutes? That's kind of weird. We didn't get the clear story on that. Did she just leave him at the bar sitting there by himself, were her friends with her? Really terrible editing during all of their scenes. They are both terrible for each other. 

Rockie seemed like a sweet, playful dog. He's still very young. He was having fun with his bone. Erik will have none of that. No doggie, you can not act like a dog!

[bichonblitz]

2 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I just saw when Vinnie rattled off a bunch of "dates" he wanted Brianna to take him on. He has expensive tastes for some those trips. I know that she is the breadwinner, but let's not abuse it.

How did I miss that? What does Brianna do for a living? Does Vinny have a job or just not make as much money as Bri? 

[bichonblitz]

17 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Chris' mom is like are you stupid or something? She probably feels like she failed as a parent right now.

She did. 

[seacliffsal]

There was one clip that showed Rocky doing his biting thing on someone's arm.  Whether Rocky breaks skin or not, that biting IS a huge issue and needs to be addressed.  As a homeowner, Eric probably knows that he would be sued if Rocky bit someone-especially if he bit into the skin.  That action of jumping up and biting alone would scare some people.  Although I truly love dogs, if a dog "faux" bit me I would probably hit it.  So, on this issue, Eric is right and Virginia really needs to train Rocky (whether or not they stay together).  

Sigh.  However, Eric really thinks that he is right about everything.  And, he brings in his prior experiences to "prove" it.  In this episode he referenced his prior military experience.  He needs to realize that nobody cares.  And he needs to realize that some of the prior experience he references actually look like failures (I've been married before, I've been cheated on...).  Also, telling someone to stop being defensive has never, in the entire history of the world, ever led to that person not being defensive.  In spite of all of this, the "experts" should never have cast someone with severe anxiety that it seems Virginia suffers.

Ryan joins the club that Eric founded which is the "we have the perfect relationship club."  I think that both of them will be surprised when they watch the episodes.  Hopefully it will be a wake-up call for both of them and they will re-evaluate how they talk to others. 

Clara once again stated that she says whatever enters her head and that is probably why Ryan isn't having sex with her.  I don't understand why it often seems to be a source of pride for some people that they "don't have a filter."  Believe it or not, some people don't want all of their business in the public domain. 

I know that the participants have to continue to film even if they leave the marriage.  But, I guess I don't understand why we have to keep watching them as part of the episodes (looking at you Paige and Chris). 

[Mrs. Button]

Quote

Ryan joins the club that Eric founded which is the "we have the perfect relationship club."  

Maybe the two of them need to get together and live happily ever after in denial forever! Seriously, I don't know which one needs therapy more: the one with major intimacy issues, or the one with major control issues? Great job experts! The folks on Judge Judy look well-adjusted and emotionally sound in comparison.

[Crashcourse]

2 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I just saw when Vinnie rattled off a bunch of "dates" he wanted Brianna to take him on. He has expensive tastes for some those trips. I know that she is the breadwinner, but let's not abuse it.

I thought Vinnie was joking about all those dates, just going by the way they both laughed after he rattled them off.

[Crashcourse]

I haven't owned a dog in many years and the one I did own was a little thing, but I never allowed it on the bed.  So I cringed when Virginia's big dog was on the bed.  I know some dog owners allow that, but maybe Erik didn't like it either.  

[greeneyedscorpio]

2 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

 

All the dogs FTW. I did laugh when they showed all the dog dads gushing over their wife's dogs and then that asshat Chris saying "IDGAF about Bentley." Still no idea how this garbage human made it onto this show......

Then they add a shot of Pastor Cal being disgusted at Chris.  That was funny!

 

[Spectator]

Oh man...so much of what is going on with Virginia is way too familiar. She is the female version of a close family member of mine. It’s hard to say which came first, the drinking or the anxiety but the two combined play off each other and inevitably result in an incredibly destructive downward spiral...self-medicate feelings of anxiety with alcohol, which compounds the anxiety, so self medicate some more with more alcohol, which further raises the anxiety, so self medicate with even more alcohol ...rinse and repeat until you’re just circling the drain. 
 

And many of her other traits are linked to this alcohol/anxiety stranglehold too...the fast nervous chatter, the twitches, the bad skin, the overly defensive perspective, the desire to flee. She’s textbook. The sad part is that, at least at the time of filming, she was not receiving any professional treatment for any of this. With a little professional help things could really improve for her. Maybe the experts can help get her the help she needs (not from them though! God no!). 
 

The consequences right now are these two can’t handle the simplest of conflicts without major explosions and ultimatums (and don’t get me wrong...the inability to maturely address conflicts isn’t all on Virginia and her drinking/anxiety - Erik plays a big part in this too). If they can’t handle making decisions about training a dog or where to live, how on earth are they going to handle real world problems with their kids, or finances or whatever. They seem to sweep issues under the rug in an effort to be the “happy couple” until one or both of them bubbles over and explodes. Hopefully they start to hit these issues head on soon. God forbid they have children without amending any of this behavior beforehand.

[greeneyedscorpio]

1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Wow, he has done a 180 turn around since I first fell in love with him! It must be hell being in a relationship with him. Then he pulls that "but I just love you so much" bullshit. I do love when Virgingin said "we act like everything is fine, but it's not". To the outside world, Erik wants to be perceived as perfect. He's a phony.

Having said that, what was Virgingin doing at the restaurant/bar where she had to disappear for 40 minutes? That's kind of weird. We didn't get the clear story on that. Did she just leave him at the bar sitting there by himself, were her friends with her? Really terrible editing during all of their scenes. They are both terrible for each other. 

Rockie seemed like a sweet, playful dog. He's still very young. He was having fun with his bone. Erik will have none of that. No doggie, you can not act like a dog!

I agree.  I was Erik's biggest fan at the beginning, but wow, there's no way I could be married to someone who talked to me like he's my dad.  My husband is upper management and tells people what to do all day, every day.  When he brings home his work mentality and tries telling me what to do, I shut that shit down.  To be fair, I'm not a 26 year old alcoholic with anxiety, so I try to understand why VA doesn't tell him how it is. 

One thing that really bugs me is when people get animals (mainly dogs) and expect them to not act like dogs!!!  My brother had his mini schnauzer's vocal cords cut so he couldn't bark!!  What the hell?!?  When Erik told Rockie he was tired of the whining, I was like, "dude he's in a strange place (store) with you (who probably makes him nervous), cut the dog some slack.  

[Booger666]

59 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

There was one clip that showed Rocky doing his biting thing on someone's arm.  Whether Rocky breaks skin or not, that biting IS a huge issue and needs to be addressed.  As a homeowner, Eric probably knows that he would be sued if Rocky bit someone-especially if he bit into the skin.  That action of jumping up and biting alone would scare some people.  Although I truly love dogs, if a dog "faux" bit me I would probably hit it.  So, on this issue, Eric is right and Virginia really needs to train Rocky (whether or not they stay together). 

I plead with you and everyone else to not hit a dog for faux biting.  When dogs are puppies normal play behavior includes faux biting / nipping and it is not a sign of aggression. It is very easy at this age to teach them that it isn’t good behavior with positive reinforcement, not hitting.  It is a little harder to train them when they are older but certainly can be done.  Whenever someone welcomes a new dog into their home a puppy/doggie manners class that uses positive reinforcement is a great idea.  There should be a spouse manners class for most of these MAFS messes.

[bichonblitz]

4 minutes ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

My brother had his mini schnauzer's vocal cords cut so he couldn't bark!!  What the hell?!? 

That is one of the most heinous things I have ever heard. Is there actually a veterinarian on the planet that would actually do that? 

[greeneyedscorpio]

2 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

That is one of the most heinous things I have ever heard. Is there actually a veterinarian on the planet that would actually do that? 

Unfortunately, yes.  😞

[Retired at last]

What has been driving me crazy is that Clara continues to lament how she pleasures Ryan every night and he has yet to reciprocate. So, why does she keep doing it???? It's almost like Paige - keep doing the same thing over and over and hope all of a sudden he changes. So, I think she needs to stop and say they will wait until it its a good connection for both of them. That might even help her to finally actually feel an emotional connection.  He can start with just taking his shirt off, for crying out loud!

[humbleopinion]

17 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

What has been driving me crazy is that Clara continues to lament how she pleasures Ryan every night and he has yet to reciprocate. So, why does she keep doing it????

Every single night Clara is hoping in that split second when Ry Ry is um...feeling the orgasmic endorphins of Clara’s expression of hand/mouth love that something clicks in his head and he finally gets the ‘feels’ for her...

You can’t say the girl isn’t earning his love.

Clarabelle walks on the sunny side of the street...bless her heart...

[becauseIsaidso]

I've begun to wonder if Ryan might just be a closet introvert. He is able to exert himself, seemingly comfortably even, when there is an audience (even one other person/production crew/camera counts as the 'audience' and he has seemed quite animated at those times). BUT, when the cameras are off, the crew is gone, what happens WON'T BE TELEVISED, and he is ALONE with Clara....he just can't yet, (and only 'yet', hopefully) deal openly and deep down face to face with this person he is actually married to.

I may accused of bias, and I am. I like this couple; I have liked them individually before the wedding and liked them as a couple and, am really hoping they can find that happy place between her over-sharing (with almost anyone, it seems) and his under-sharing (with the one person he really needs to be able to open up to).  I'd loved to see that. The mutual 'sharing', that is.

I guess that makes me team Ryan/Clara.

I have thought from the start Vinnie/Brianna were a definite long term match. They've hit bumps, but seem to be finding their ways to navigate each other's needs in a mutually satisfactory way. They are not quite WArmani, but nicely KMiles.

chris/Paige - never was, never will be, and from what I have seen, that's all on chris. Paige seems to have bought into some misguided crap about having to deny her own worth as a human being when she married that waste of space, but her recent comments about  having been more in love with the idea of marriage than the fact of this involving another human being (and I am being MOST generous in including chris in that category) gives me hope that she is coming to her senses - at last. Editing interference/convolutions notwithstanding, I see her walking away and leaving him in the dust, with his babymamma, who I sense will not be around for long unless she sees a nice payoff in the near future. Buh-bye shithead.

Eric scares me. He is coming across as VERY controlling, even to the extent of potential abuse. Virginia may well be alcoholic/substance abusing, but that will never excuse his 'my way or the highway' threats and isolating tactics. She needs to sober up and realize she can do better, be happier, with someone who actually gives a crap about her and is not fixated on having a younger wife who can provide the heir/s, conform to his pre-ordained lifestyle decisions.

Jake/Haley...done. I don't think she ever gave it a chance and I think he is smart enough to have  picked up on that in a nanosecond, BUT is not smart enough to consider that the sneering superiority and refusal to compromise is not the path to mutual interaction. I thought (until last night's Unfiltered) that he was rather attractive. But the staging made him look like a bit of a neanderthal and that EVER PRESENT legs-spread sitting posture many men fall into did him no favors. But not so much as to mitigate my impression of Haley as one of the  top 'poor me' characters ever on this show. I regard her as this season's - crap, I can't remember the name of the guy Mindy got stuck with, but that's who I mean! Wait! It was Zach or Zack or something like it.