S12.E12: Must Love Dogs

[Crashcourse]

Has Virginia even washed herself, including that hair?  She really does look rode hard and put away wet.

[Gator Stud]

21 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

What does this mean?

Model Minority Syndrome is when a minority forces themselves to renounce their authenticity to prove that they are the ideal American and that they dont represent the false stereotype or their race. Its a form of self-gaslighting. Its a form of assimilation with the American culture, but done in a very disingenuous way.  I'll give an example. When I was growing up I went to all White schools, where I was the only one or two Black person.  I told my classmates I didnt like watermelon because of the Syndrome and that made me seem more like them in their eyes and closer to the cultural norm. But really I actually did like watermelon and was gaslighting myself to fit in with the cultural norm. Good Blacks dont wear BLM shirts in the Syndrome viewpoint because that separates you from the norm. Asians are now going through a different strain of the Syndrome. I hope this helps. I wonder what Ryan thinks of Chris? 

[Hangin Out]

Is Erik really a woman in disguise?  He talks like a whiney know it all yenta.  STFU, Eric.  You’re like a broken record.  And a pussy.

[Empress1]

5 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

Model Minority Syndrome is when a minority forces themselves to renounce their authenticity to prove that they are the ideal American and that they dont represent the false stereotype or their race. Its a form of self-gaslighting. Its a form of assimilation with the American culture, but done in a very disingenuous way.  I'll give an example. When I was growing up I went to all White schools, where I was the only one or two Black person.  I told my classmates I didnt like watermelon because of the Syndrome and that made me seem more like them in their eyes and closer to the cultural norm. But really I actually did like watermelon and was gaslighting myself to fit in with the cultural norm. Good Blacks dont wear BLM shirts in the Syndrome viewpoint because that separates you from the norm. Asians are now going through a different strain of the Syndrome. I hope this helps. I wonder what Ryan thinks of Chris? 

I’m familiar with the term; I just don’t understand how it applies to Ryan, as I don’t think he’s classified himself in that way. He’s said he went to predominantly white schools growing up but I don’t think we know anything about the way his Blackness influences his life, then or now, or if he tried to assimilate with whiteness then or now.

It’s a trip that Erik is giving Virginia shit about being inflexible about her dog when he’s said some variation of “do this my way or that’s it” like 6 times this episode alone. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by Empress1

[Straycat80]

Welp, at this point it looks like the only couple making it to D day is Bri and Vinny.  The ‘experts ‘ sure did a good (sarcastic) job pairing these couples together this season. 

[Crashcourse]

Virginia married a dictator; Erik married a drunk.  Game over.

[Rae Spellman]

22 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

  Also, Model Minorites don’t wear BLM shirts, so he is completely mixed messaging.

Is the assumption that BLM shirts aren't popular in Ryan's white, southern, and possibly conservative Christian social circle? The straightened hair, the BLM shirts, the blond wife that he won't go all the way with might not be messages. Maybe Ryan is just figuring a few things out at a time when plenty of people are figuring things out. 

[Empress1]

3 minutes ago, Straycat80 said:

Welp, at this point it looks like the only couple making it to D day is Bri and Vinny.  The ‘experts ‘ sure did a good (sarcastic) job pairing these couples together this season. 

I haven’t seen every season but this is definitely the worst season of the ones I’ve seen. Good God.

[Racj82]

2 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I’m familiar with the term; I just don’t understand how it applies to Ryan, as I don’t think he’s classified himself in that way. He’s said he went to predominantly white schools growing up but I don’t think we know anything about the way his Blackness influences his life, then or now, or if he tried to assimilate with whiteness then or now.

It doesn't. Black Lives Matter, as many have tried to tell others, does not mean that all lives don't matter or anything other than bringing awareness to a specific issue. Yes all lives matter but some people seem to think that black lives don't. It's basically we matter AS WELL. Don't treat us like we are people you don't have to treat like human beings.

[gonecrackers]

Paige's mantra, even on Unfiltered "I choose me" -awesome, now go away.

[Crashcourse]

Shut the fuck up Virginia.

[Racj82]

People keep calling Jake creepy but Erik is the one I worry about. If I found out he punched Virginia during an argument, I would not be surprised at all.

[karenbrady]

13 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

Model Minority Syndrome is when a minority forces themselves to renounce their authenticity to prove that they are the ideal American and that they dont represent the false stereotype or their race. Its a form of self-gaslighting. Its a form of assimilation with the American culture, but done in a very disingenuous way.  I'll give an example. When I was growing up I went to all White schools, where I was the only one or two Black person.  I told my classmates I didnt like watermelon because of the Syndrome and that made me seem more like them in their eyes and closer to the cultural norm. But really I actually did like watermelon and was gaslighting myself to fit in with the cultural norm. Good Blacks dont wear BLM shirts in the Syndrome viewpoint because that separates you from the norm. Asians are now going through a different strain of the Syndrome. I hope this helps. I wonder what Ryan thinks of Chris? 

Good Blacks???

Edited April 1, 2021 by karenbrady

[Gator Stud]

1 minute ago, Empress1 said:

I’m familiar with the term; I just don’t understand how it applies to Ryan, as I don’t think he’s classified himself in that way. He’s said he went to predominantly white schools growing up but I don’t think we know anything about the way his Blackness influences his life, then or now, or if he tried to assimilate with whiteness then or now.

Nobody classifies themselves this way.  Everyone denies it, in fact. I recognize it very well.  I feel comfortable in my diagnosis. I just dont think he is being his authentic self. Like when they went over his house and everything appeared need for the cameras, but when you dug in under the hood, it wasnt neat.  I've seen this a million times in corporate America. Like code switching. And like why Blacks that can grow hair choose to be bald.  I think he is thinking about his corporate career while being on this show, and cant relax and be himself.  

[LennieBriscoe]

Haley was a Go-Kart ringer!

Vincent got Brianna a guy's bike. 🚴‍♂️

Edited April 1, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[Crashcourse]

Haley and Jake are so uncomfortable together, I don't even know how they're digesting their food.

[Empress1]

Just now, Racj82 said:

People keep calling Jake creepy but Erik is the one I worry about. If I found out he punched Virginia during an argument, I would not be surprised at all.

I agree. As I said, I think the way he talks to Virginia is abusive. If he was this controlling, condescending and assholish in his other relationships, it’s no wonder he got cheated on. 

I think Jake is a nice guy who is in a bad match that’s bringing out some not so great qualities in him. I don’t think Erik is a nice guy.

[LennieBriscoe]

3 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

Nobody classifies themselves this way.  Everyone denies it, in fact. I recognize it very well.  I feel comfortable in my diagnosis. I just dont think he is being his authentic self. Like when they went over his house and everything appeared need for the cameras, but when you dug in under the hood, it wasnt neat.  I've seen this a million times in corporate America. Like code switching. And like why Blacks that can grow hair choose to be bald.  I think he is thinking about his corporate career while being on this show, and cant relax and be himself.  

I think your last sentence is the truest about Ryan thus far. And for that reason, he's not about to risk sex (and a critique) with Chatty-Cathy Clara while the show is filming!

[Racj82]

I've actually seen the argument Erik and Virginia are having played out in reality and it is a real issue.

My best friend, a guy, only sees dogs as protectors. Not pets. Not surrogate children. 

His girlfriend is the opposite.

They just got two baby pitbulls last year.

They constantly butt heads over discipline of the dogs. She lets them keep getting files up, get into things they shouldn't, coo at them like babies. He's trying to train them to listen and respond to commands. 

Just like children, you can't raise pets in two different ways. You have to be a united front. I understand his frustration.

But again, his delivery is ass and he one of the most pissy dudes I've ever seen.

[Gator Stud]

3 minutes ago, Rae Spellman said:

Is the assumption that BLM shirts aren't popular in Ryan's white, southern, and possibly conservative Christian social circle? The straightened hair, the BLM shirts, the blond wife that he won't go all the way with might not be messages. Maybe Ryan is just figuring a few things out at a time when plenty of people are figuring things out. 

No.  I think internally they are popular with Conservative Blacks, but not externally.  I do think he is trying to figure things out. I straightened my hair when I joined a band and dated plenty of non-Black women. I dont hate him for having the Syndrome  I am just observing.  Its not really his hair, per say.  Its more his affect. Its really off and guarded.  He never looks chilled out like the others. I dont think we are seeing his real personality.  It could be editing.

[Empress1]

Haley is dressed for a totally different outing than Vincent, Jake, and Briana.

[Crashcourse]

Sunflowers scare the hell out of me.  I hate them.

[Hangin Out]

Oh Haley.  You are a bad actress.  I haven’t seen her talk so much, and she’s not interesting at all.  She’s struggling to be nice and act interested.  Jake, don’t be a caveman and shovel gigantic pieces of meat into your mouth.  Your cheeks are bulging out.  Has Haley visited the Dutch Farms lately?

Edited April 1, 2021 by Silver Bells

[Straycat80]

Haley just doesn’t care anymore and neither does Jake. They are just bidding their time until D day, collect their paychecks,  and go their separate ways. 

[LennieBriscoe]

Virginia should use a better foundation, especially  for HDTV! (Show should  provide.)

[Crashcourse]

5 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

 Jake, don’t be a caveman and shovel gigantic pieces of meat into your mouth.  Your cheeks are bulging out.

If he doesn't chew that meat properly, one day he's gonna choke on it.  Seriously.  

1 minute ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Virginia should use a better foundation, especially  for HDTV! (Show should  provide.)

If she took better care of her skin she wouldn't need foundation.  

[Crashcourse]

Erik is a prissy prick.  He needs to just back the hell off Virginia and stop picking on her.  If he's not happy with her, just say NO on Decision Day.  

[Empress1]

Has Erik ever said “I was wrong and I’m sorry” to Virginia? The way he talks to her is so nauseating to me, like he’s her principal or something.

Edited April 1, 2021 by Empress1

[Straycat80]

8 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Virginia should use a better foundation, especially  for HDTV! (Show should  provide.)

She should wash her greasy hair too. 

[Racj82]

1 minute ago, Empress1 said:

Has Erik ever said “I was wrong and I’m sorry” to Virginia?

You never will.

[Hangin Out]

Eric has said more words in the kitchen than my husband has said in my whole marriage.  All that talking would drive me nuts.

Thats O.k. Virginia, you can touch your hair and your nose and your face all over, then both eat the sushi with your hands.  Barf.
 

 

 

[jennyf]

Erik and Virginia had sparks but they are a total mismatch and really toxic. I don’t think he’s ever dealt with anyone with mental health issues and she knows she has some. Agree with him though that her dog needs retraining. Erik is clearly trying to control himself when they’re talking in front of the cameras but he is really even more horrible when they’re not. 

Edited April 2, 2021 by jennyf

[Racj82]

We talking about dogs again? 

Come on. These couples suck this year.

[Crashcourse]

My goodness.  Jake takes a boatload of supplements.  

[spunky]

Vincent is low key telling Erik to apologize.  I wonder if he'll listen. 

[gonecrackers]

Ryan the self-proclaimed best MAFS huzband evah. 🙄

[Racj82]

Look at Ryan out here acting like Erik Jr trying to give out marriage advice and saying he's doing better than most MAFS couples ever.

Get the hell out of here with that noise. Your wife is unhappy. Compare that to a couple like Woody and Amani who were already all in, happy and having good sex. You are not among the best couples this show has paired.

[Devvie]

Erik is being controlling, yes,  but how many people know what's it's like to be around (or live with) an alcoholic? They lie. They are unreasonable. "I get defensive when you act like Tex is perfect (crying)"  They are emotional "It always goes back to Rocky!  Why?" (crying). They make stupid decisions. (He said she disappeared for 40 minutes. "I was in the bathroom then in the bar." I didn't really understand if she left the house or if she disappeared when they were out.)  I think she self medicates and probably has more going on than anxiety. She clearly has problems - big ones. Erik should get on his giant plane and get far from her. Then with Paige and Brianna she's "I want to deal things rationally and talk things out" BUT she's rattling on and on and talking a mile a minute.  She sounds unstable. And you could see Paige and Brianna pull back.

 

 

[Crashcourse]

We've already talked about Ryan's haircut, but I don't understand what's going on with that facial hair.

What did Ryan just say?  What was all that bullshit?  Clara should stop doing whatever it is she's doing and forget about the sex.     

[Racj82]

Ryan - We have both been accomidating

Clara had a look like, boy I'm over here dry as a desert. Accomidating my ass.

And, really, if y'all out here hitting all the bases but home, what are they doing here? They aren't teenagers. 

 

[Straycat80]

Hmm, Clara says ‘she’s getting Ryan off every night’. But he’s not having sex with her. She really needs to say the stuff she’s telling the girls to Ryan. 

[gonecrackers]

Clara needs to stop getting Ryan off. If he pulls back she'll know he's not worth her time.

WTF with Erik & VA tonight. I check out a bit when they're going on & on - it's annoying.

I have no idea what happened in the bar - she left? Where? Why? I'm confused.

She doesn't want the dog trained - again why? Doesn't trust him? Hire a trainer FFS & do it together. Geez I don't get it.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

1 hour ago, Racj82 said:

Dog Dad. Dog mom. Yeah I'm fast forwarding through this whole segment. 

It's also not shocking that all of the women coming in here have pets. A lot of people have pets these days but women? 

Really hard to find ones who don't have any. I went from being wary of being a step parent to not caring about that at all and just having to dodge pets.

You're not alone! I find it very hard to find single men who don't have pets.  I think pets are cute, but I don't want to own one- I prefer house plants.  I briefly tried to date a guy who had a cat and he was much more affectionate and emotionally available towards his cat than he was with me and that's when I decided to call it quits.  

[LennieBriscoe]

Fast-forward. Picture New Mom Virginia and "This is how it's done, or we're done" New Dad Eric. 

Virginia won't stay on D-Day, I'm  predicting. 

[Adeejay]

41 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

WTF with Erik & VA tonight. I check out a bit when they're going on & on - it's annoying.

I have no idea what happened in the bar - she left? Where? Why? I'm confused.

She doesn't want the dog trained - again why? Doesn't trust him? Hire a trainer FFS & do it together. Geez I don't get it.

When Erik and Virginia were at the bar, they decided to separate.  However, he became alarmed when she disappeared for 30 minutes. Virginia didn't think it was a big deal and called him controlling; Erik said that he was just concerned.

I think it's way too soon for Vinny and Brianna to have joint bank accounts. They should wait a while.  

[Madding crowd]

Virginia has issues but Erik is controlling and never shuts up. And she can’t even turn her head to look at her dog when he is speaking. I don’t like him. Jacob and Haley can’t stand each other. Not sure I understand Ryan. He and Clara seem to get along but either you are attracted to someone or not-waiting six weeks to have sex won’t make it magically better.

[Chalby]

On 3/29/2021 at 12:31 PM, cinsays said:

 will just show how Eric and Virginia had the spat because of their different thoughts on control 

I have to say, that Virginia's interaction with her dog drives me nuts. She is not consistent at all. Or perhaps I should say she's consistent at being inconsistent with her dog. Animals are like children, they need boundaries. Mind you, Eric is too controlling, especially when it comes to Virginia's whereabouts. And it drives me nuts when he says he wants to look out for her and protect her. Women have survived very well without a man's protection, so I think this is his way of controlling her behaviour by telling her what is safe and what is not. I'm surprised Virginia loved this long without having Eric's safety bubble.

16 minutes ago, MyTwoCents said:

Good Lord! What happened to the rule about only discussing the episode?

What's being discussed that's not  in the show?

[Chalby]

18 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

 think it's way too soon for Vinny and Brianna to have joint bank accounts. They should wait a while.  

I think it is a great idea especially if they have mine, yours, and ours accounts. They still have to buy groceries pay electricity and cable so they should have one account that they both contribute to, to pay for the bills.

[Racj82]

Just now, Chalby said:

I have to say, that Virginia's interaction with her dog drives me nuts. She is not consistent at all. Or perhaps I should say she's consistent at being inconsistent with her dog. Animals are like children, they need boundaries. Mind you, Eric is too controlling, especially when it comes to Virginia's whereabouts. And it drives me nuts when he says he wants to look out for her and protect her. Women have survived very well without a man's protection, so I think this is his way of controlling her behaviour by telling her what is safe and what is not. I'm surprised Virginia loved this long without having Eric's safety bubble.

I don't think there is anything wrong with a man wanting to protect their wife and make sure they are safe. It mean anything about what women cannot can't do. Talking general terms.

In theory, I get it. But, Erik goes beyond that and seems to just want to control. He's using it under the guide of trying to protect which is what I take issue with. 

It wreaks of controlling behavior where people do fucked up things to their spouse but then they are like, I did it for your own good. 

[Chalby]

6 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

I don't think there is anything wrong with a man wanting to protect their wife and make sure they are safe. 

I think the word "protect" is a trigger for me because I have seen a couple of my friends slowly lose their independence in the name of their boyfriend "protecting" them. A specific example: I used to go jogging with a friend every night at 6:30 until one week when she could no longer run because her husband didn't feel it was safe for us.  He felt it was too dark at night because we were heading into fall/winter. Imagine, she ran every night before she met him and she survived and thrived. She insisted she needed to run but he flat out said no because if she was abducted he would never forgive himself for not protecting her. If she needed to run that. So I view Eric's protection spiel as just a crock.