S11.E11: Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

[bichonblitz]

Table for one here but I thought it was so funny when Olivia was once again complaining to Brett about Brett and he wouldn't take his sunglasses off! You know that just pissed her off! I think at this point he is so turned off to her and knows the marriage is never going to work so  he is just enjoying poking the bear at this point. Normally I would say that isn't nice but this Olivia we are talking about and I can't stand her. 

[Neurochick]

9 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

She’ll never make it thru a marriage.  There are too many ups and downs .. some you don’t like, but have to suck it up.  I don’t think she’s for marriage.  She’s in fantasy land.  Too many expectations that might not happen.  Then, if there’s kids, she’ll have to go on the back burner and forget about seeing the world and traveling.

I can't say I'd feel any better if I were stuck with a douche like Brett.  

[Jack Sampson]

Christina wants a confident man.  You know who's confident?  Someone who can do better than Christina.

I still think there's something about her that hasn't come out yet.

[Soup333]

11 minutes ago, cinsays said:

I thought it was said or hinted, at least, that he was a player and that was why some of his friends were surprised he was getting married. 

Oh, yes. Now I remember. Thanks for the reminder. 

[seacliffsal]

I just couldn't stand Olivia this episode.  When she snapped at Brett to stop looking at her like that, I didn't know what she was talking about.  He just had a grin-but she told him more than once to stop it.  Then, at their lunch, she ripped into him for telling Dr. V. that she had a beautiful smile.  Who does that?  He has given compliments to her and I think he is hurt that she has not given compliments in return. I think she may have a very high opinion of herself and see him as "less than" due to his priorities about money and spending not matching her priorities.  Although he was very sarcastic with him comments about owning a home, Olivia could have given some type of acknowledgement about that.  She doesn't have to love/like his home, but just some credit for buying one.  

I think she is super rigid and wants to control their relationship and activities.  Brett doesn't play along with that and that frustrates her even more.  Yes, I have seen that Brett didn't interact well with her friends, but maybe he just didn't like them (I know, I know--we all need to try and get along with the friends of our beloveds).  I'm still on Team Brett mainly because I think Olivia is relentless in trying to control the relationship.

I now think that Christina is purposely trying to hurt Henry.  She may realize he will never like her so is intent on punishing him or trying to make him look bad.  The show should stop using participants who are recently out of a relationship.  It never seems to work out and is unfair to the other spouse.

I really enjoy Amani and Woody.  Although he identified himself as the life of the party when we first met him, I think he just wants to be loved and not have to "live up" to his reputation.  And yes, like others, I think he will love the dog Amani chooses for them.

[Hangin Out]

3 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

I had to look it up...it's the one Amani mentioned, with the woman's legs around the man's neck. You're welcome.

Oh, that ole thing.  I’ve had two hip replacements.  If we ever did that again, my new hips would be on the floor out of joint, hahahaha.  Ah, the good ole days.

[greeneyedscorpio]

29 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

She’ll never make it thru a marriage.  There are too many ups and downs .. some you don’t like, but have to suck it up.  I don’t think she’s for marriage.  She’s in fantasy land.  Too many expectations that might not happen.  Then, if there’s kids, she’ll have to go on the back burner and forget about seeing the world and traveling.

I think she could make a go of marriage if the man earned as much/more, wanted to travel, eat out, drink fine wine, and didn't want kids.  Essentially the opposite of Brett.  Why she went on a show like this with such rigid expectations is beyond me.  None of those desires are bad, she just very much knows what she wants and either didn't express that in the matching process or they didn't listen to her.   

That said, I'd be ready to pop Brett in the mouth if I was married to him.  He's an ass.  He's really opened my eyes to my own sarcastic/smart-ass ways and is making me evaluate myself.  I do think sarcasm can be funny, but his is cruel sometimes and I don't want to be like that.  Thanks for the nudge to be more self-aware, Brett!

[Jax7917]

My commute is close to an hour and a half , I’m envious of anyone with a 35 min commute .. but that being said , commuting truly is a huge wasteful part of a day . I wish I didn’t have to do it . 
 

It’s truly hard to be on either Olivia or Bretts side because they’re both so Awful . And in regard to people thinking brett is cute , really ? I just don’t find anything about his face appealing and his personality makes it 10x worse . Olivia isn’t unattractive but she is truly the biggest buzz kill I have ever seen . 

[Hangin Out]

1 minute ago, Jaclyn88 said:

My commute is close to an hour and a half , I’m envious of anyone with a 35 min commute .. but that being said , commuting truly is a huge wasteful part of a day . I wish I didn’t have to do it . 
 

It’s truly hard to be on either Olivia or Bretts side because they’re both so Awful . And in regard to people thinking brett is cute , really ? I just don’t find anything about his face appealing and his personality makes it 10x worse . Olivia isn’t unattractive but she is truly the biggest buzz kill I have ever seen . 

Out of all the men, I would take Miles in a heartbeat.  He seems to have the whole package.  Karen is a dope for giving him a hard time.  She’ll regret it if it doesn’t work out because of her.

[greeneyedscorpio]

1 minute ago, Jaclyn88 said:

My commute is close to an hour and a half , I’m envious of anyone with a 35 min commute .. but that being said , commuting truly is a huge wasteful part of a day . I wish I didn’t have to do it . 

I guess this is all relative to the size city one lives in.  We moved because my husbands commute was 40 minutes, but we live in a middle-sized city where that is kind of a long commute and we also saw it as a huge waste of time.  Maybe if he were on public transportation and could get work done during the commute it would be different, but just sitting in his car for 80 minutes a day, no thanks.

 

[cardigirl]

19 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

I just couldn't stand Olivia this episode.  When she snapped at Brett to stop looking at her like that, I didn't know what she was talking about.  He just had a grin-but she told him more than once to stop it.  Then, at their lunch, she ripped into him for telling Dr. V. that she had a beautiful smile.  Who does that?  He has given compliments to her and I think he is hurt that she has not given compliments in return. I think she may have a very high opinion of herself and see him as "less than" due to his priorities about money and spending not matching her priorities.  Although he was very sarcastic with him comments about owning a home, Olivia could have given some type of acknowledgement about that.  She doesn't have to love/like his home, but just some credit for buying one.  

I think she is super rigid and wants to control their relationship and activities.  Brett doesn't play along with that and that frustrates her even more.  Yes, I have seen that Brett didn't interact well with her friends, but maybe he just didn't like them (I know, I know--we all need to try and get along with the friends of our beloveds).  I'm still on Team Brett mainly because I think Olivia is relentless in trying to control the relationship.

Don't forget the gleeful "I made the drink the best!" Or "Better than you!" or whatever it was.  I'm sure production cut that together to show Brett as inept at making the stupid gin fizz (her FAVORITIST DRINK EVER) and the Olivia over the moon about besting him at it, when in reality they may have had fun at the mixology class, but it just added to my ire at the way things are being portrayed between them. UGH.

[Kiss my mutt]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

What’s a hook position?  Seriously.

The hook position in one that we’ve all probably done but didn’t know there was a name for it. I had to google it and was like it’s THAT? That’s as old as the Karma Sutra. Lol

[humbleopinion]

When Olivia sat closer and snuggled in to Brett on the couch during Viv's visit...his penis telescoped back into itself and climbed into his abdominal cavity.

We saw Olivia's skin crawl...she couldn't take more than 5 seconds of him touching her back that she slid back over.

 Viv the "expert" chose not to say..."You 2 are clearly are disappointed by each other. There is a automatic visceral response of thinly veiled loathing  by the both of you touching each other. Olivia you are a whining stuck up wanna be who is only a few cats away from Tables for 1 reservations at expensive restaurants and split bottles of your beloved pricey wines.. Brett you are full of yourself and slapping that smugging smirk off your face would be a delight."

Edited September 24, 2020 by humbleopinion

[psychoticstate]

Christina just can't stop herself from screwing shit up.  As someone who suffered self-esteem issues for YEARS after my teens, you don't just "get over it."  If it were that simple, no one would have issues, Christina.  She should have commended Henry on moving through it and encouraged him to continue to move through it.  She should have brought up that Henry is an intelligent, thoughtful and loyal person -- all wonderful qualities.  She knew he had confidence issues so why did she sound like once Henry admitted that was his biggest hurdle, she was out?    And then to say lack of confidence was her deal breaker?  Girl, really?  You have to be intentionally sabotaging things because no excuse otherwise.  I mean, at least say unclear conversation, loyalty, trust, fidelity.  Any of those would work fine.  (And I'm guessing all of her previous relationships were with "confident" men and look how those turned out.) 

Bennett was really a great friend to Henry in discussing the confidence thing.  He always seems to know exactly what to say.  Christina needs to learn how to read the room.  

Karen is exhausting.  I think I'd feel bipolar if I lived with her.

Olivia is an absolute killjoy.  She always seems pained, as if she just had a root canal.  Brett may be no prize but at least he's trying.  She was all on board for his sarcasm and wit at the wedding and now suddenly she can't stand it?   Bad move on the experts' parts to match someone who is more touchy-feely and into PDA with someone who clearly has no use for it.  I don't think Olivia would have been any more receptive if Dr. V hadn't been there.  

The bartending thing should have been fun.  Maybe instead of being competitive, Olivia could have told Brett why it's her favorite drink or helped him with his?  Honestly, they might as well have been two strangers making the drinks side by side.  She was more excited about the drink than I've seen her about Brett since the honeymoon.

Woody and Amani will be fine, as well Bennett and Amelia.  

 

[configdotsys]

2 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

And that could be why she's chosen not to live in NYC. 

By the standards she's used to, it's apparently a long commute.  And to have the longer commute just to get to a house she doesn't even like?  I could see how that wouldn't be appealing. 

I wasn't talking about her. I was simply sharing my reaction to her idea of a long commute. Not sure what's wrong with that. Nothing in my post suggested she was wrong for not wanting her definition of a long commute or dissed her for not wanting to live in Brett's house. 

[rebel2u]

I forgot to add in my previous post---Amani's voice used to grate on my nerves but now I find it soothing.

How'd that happen?

It's a Christmas Miracle---in September!   : )

Neurochick, you are the best gif-er around! 

Edited September 24, 2020 by rebel2u

[Boo Boo]

4 minutes ago, rebel2u said:

I forgot to add in my previous post---Amani's voice used to grate on my nerves but now I find it soothing.

How'd that happen?

It's a Christmas Miracle---in September!   : )

I've never had an issue with her voice, and I also find it soothing.

I want to be her best friend!

[Boo Boo]

1 hour ago, cardigirl said:

Don't forget the gleeful "I made the drink the best!" Or "Better than you!" or whatever it was.  I'm sure production cut that together to show Brett as inept at making the stupid gin fizz (her FAVORITIST DRINK EVER) and the Olivia over the moon about besting him at it, when in reality they may have had fun at the mixology class, but it just added to my ire at the way things are being portrayed between them. UGH.

This is what kills me.  She's only shows excitement if she wins at something.  See also Monkey Bars.  Either she's felt inadequate since the look of surprise he had when she talked about working out all the time so now she wants to outdo him or she's just that person.  Or he's just that much of an asshole.

  

Edited September 24, 2020 by Boo Boo

[NoWhammies]

4 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

I had to look it up...it's the one Amani mentioned, with the woman's legs around the man's neck. You're welcome.

Ah yes. We used to call that Bugs Bunny (with your knees around your ears like Bugs Bunny). No? Just me? Anyway - even with yoga, this old body doesn't bend that way anymore. Bummer...

[qtpye]

8 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

He's just as nastily sarcastic on camera so I don't find it too tough to believe her. That level of sarcasm can quickly become toxic to be around. I don't think he's ever seen Olivia as his type; he expected, & thinks he's entitled to, someone hotter. He focuses on her eyes for his disingenuous compliments (to the camera at least) because he's trying to look past everything else he doesn't like. I don't think he's good looking at all & his constant sneer makes him look especially gross to me.

That said I don't prefer Olivia either, as her story changed from just wanting a nice guy to wanting a travel buddy for expensive adventures, although that could have been in response to whatever he's been like behind the scenes.

The two of them are this season's hard-to-watch couple for me, although I can't stand ChristinA either...

 

8 hours ago, Soup333 said:

IMO he is clearly insecure about her making more than he does. 

 

7 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Those “experts” are good for nothing.  0livia reminds me of a nun.  Brett is a man about town.  They are a total mismatch.  He’d go for someone like Dr. Viviana. Sex appeal.  My husband thinks the Dr. has it all, lol.  He’s right.

 

6 hours ago, JapMo said:

I've been supportive of Brett from Wedding Day because he was such an a-hole at the Bachelor Party and I could see the show was definitely trying to make him out to be the villain early on, when in previous seasons they at least wait a few episodes before assigning that mantle to someone.  I see things about him that I can understand why he's not married: 

1. Very very blunt...it's off-putting (Olivia expresses concerns and he says 'you're very insecure')
2. Uses sarcasm as a defense (Olivia mentions his house is too far away, he immediately shoots back something like 'sorry I didn't know earning equity was wrong'.  
3. He has a sense of humor, but doesn't tone it down during serious conversations, which makes serious people like Olivia read it that he is making fun of/dismissing them.

That being said, I believe Olivia is very capable of toning him down.  I still think AJ is a giant a-hole yet Stephanie has softened him considerably.  Some of you will say....'why should Olivia have to do all that work?'  Well, for one thing I think Brett is really trying to make a go of the marriage.  Considering MAFS track record with douche husbands, I would have sworn Brett was not attracted to Olivia at the altar.  Yet the few times he's talked to the camera, he's said he really likes her.  Usually by this time the douche husband (DH for short) has already made it very clear they are unhappy with who the experts picked for them.  Brett and Olivia seem to have talked more to each other about their likes and dislikes and what they want out of a marriage than any of the other couples.  I was impressed that they said on their wedding night they talked about religion to the extent Brett was able to meet with her family the next day and confidently say they'd worked out their differences.  They recently laid on the couch and talked for an hour and a half about things.  That was without the camera being on them.  So it appears Brett is still invested in trying to make things work.  Usually by this time the DH has already checked out. 

I'm just saying I don't think Brett is the monster everyone thinks he is (at least from what we've seen so far).  I do think he went on the show for the right reasons and he really wants to be married.  He's proud of what he's accomplished and, if you think about it, he really doesn't have a lot of dealbreakers like Olivia seems to have (travel extensively, must live in young, hip part of city).  If not for his strong desire to have children, they might have been able to work through their differences and have a fairly happy life. 

 

5 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

I don't think Brett has any intention of being toned down. At least not with Olivia. Stephanie was a kind, thoughtful, fun, truly adventurous person that worked with AJ to try to understand him and a big plus is that they were sexually attracted to each other from the get. Olivia does not have that personality. All she really wants to do is have serious conversations with Brett about how he needs to improve himself. She is a drag and a bore. I don't care how much she herself believes that she's fun and Brett is the boring one. All the excitement we have seen from her is Trivia night and a boat ride in the Louisiana swamp.  She has only shown us that she likes expensive restaurants and high dollar wine. Big Whoop. 

Stephanie is the petite and patient woman that Henry probably wanted to be matched up wtih

4 hours ago, MyTwoCents said:

Agree to strongly disagree 🤮 Could be a case of his horrible personality clouding my vision as I look at him. But again 🤮

Add in his dating and sexual exploits; I wouldn’t want to touch him either. Not with a 10-foot pole.

If anyone was still wondering how a skinflint like Brett went on so many dates, he said online that most of the women he dated were happy to pay for all the dinners and drinks, so it was no cost to him.  Maybe he is shocked that Olivia is not bowled over by his amazing looks and personality?

4 hours ago, JapMo said:

But think about it....what's he under pressure about with her that makes him uncomfortable?  S E X.  I would bet Henry has never had a relationship with a woman (since high school) that's lasted more than a month or so.  That's why he has all these female friends he hangs around.  There's no pressure for him.  He's the strong shoulder to cry on/be supportive/be another type of support when falling down drunk/the designated driver etc etc......everything but the guy who will eventually try to make a move and ruin the friendship.  He will never make the move.

It's not about Christina.  Most guys don't think with the head that rests on top of their neck, so they don't care that a woman is a meanie and rude or was in a toxic relationship right before they met her.  They are not going to reject a woman that has pretty much come out and said 'whenever you are ready'.  Most guys would "do" Christina in a heartbeat...I mean, let's be honest here...they would.  Only the guy who is petrified of intimacy would have a problem.  

 

Can we do away with the myth that guys will fuck anything in a skirt?

I think it is not true of the Millennial and Gen Z generations so much, particularly after the metoo movement. I actually have a lot of younger women complain to me about guys being very passive because they are afraid of getting in trouble or being accused of harassments, so they let the ladies make the first moves.

The truth is if a guy is not attracted to a woman, he will not relish having sex with her because it can lead to entanglements and he just plain does not want to.

We have seen women get rejected sexually on this show many times because the guys were not into them in any shape or form.

The one exception was homeless ex-basketball player Matt and even Amber admitted that was mostly because she was the aggressor (for the record, I like her and hate him). 

I feel bad for Christina but I have a feeling she is one of those women that puts a lot of value on her attractiveness to men. She wants to feel desired and cherished (nothing wrong with that) but Henry has no physical attraction to her and her personality repels him even more.

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

My parents were matched.  My Father was a good looking gentleman, but she never loved him and was never satisfied.  It was heartbreaking for me when she told me that.  There just has to be love.
 

I think we need to look no further then a match that was probably the most famous arranged marriage ever....Prince Charles and Princess Diana.

I know they supposedly dated (not married at first sight, lol) but it felt like a "good on paper" marriage that was done to make their families happy.

After all these years, I have concluded that they were two nice people who were horrible for each other and Diana was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, during her time but her husband was attracted to someone totally different.

Arranged marriages can work but they can also be exercises in misery when it does not work out.

Edited September 24, 2020 by qtpye

[Boo Boo]

4 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Can we do away with the myth that guys will fuck anything in a skirt?

I think it is not true of the Millennial and Gen Z generations so much, particularly after the metoo movement. I actually have a lot of younger women complain to me about guys being very passive because they are afraid of getting in trouble or being accused of harassments, so they let the ladies make the first moves.

The truth is if a guy is not attracted to a woman, he will not relish having sex with her because it can lead to entanglements and he just plain does not want to.

We have seen women get rejected sexually on this show many times because the guys were not into them in any shape or form.

 

Amen!  I know a lot of men that are picky about who they fuck.  

I don't understand this speculation that Henry is a virgin.  He may be awkward but that doesn't mean he has never had sex.  Christina is not appealing to a lot of people.

[StatisticalOutlier]

3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

But when she was complaining about her "30 minute commute" she needs to sit down on the sofa of "first world problems."

I guess I do, too, because a 30-minute commute would be a dealbreaker for me. 

It's like when people started moving from California to, say, Austin, and the people already there thought a 30-minute commute is unacceptably long, but the newcomers are thrilled that their commute isn't a hour any more.  But it's at the expense of the people who were already there, whose commutes are just going to get longer.

I guess living in a city where people coming from more expensive areas are increasing congestion and commute times, and driving up house prices and the property taxes that are based on the house value, could be considered a first-world problem, too.  But that doesn't make it any less real for the people who can no longer afford to live where they've lived for years, or whose commute has increased to an unacceptable level.

[qtpye]

19 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

Amen!  I know a lot of men that are picky about who they fuck.  

I don't understand this speculation that Henry is a virgin.  He may be awkward but that doesn't mean he has never had sex.  Christina is not appealing to a lot of people.

The attitude that a blue blooded hetrosexual male will fuck anything is damaging to both men and women.

If a man expresses that he does not want no strings attached sex from a relatively attractive woman, then he will be labeled gay.

There is nothing wrong with being gay but this is really unfair.

It is also leads women to believe that if they are sexually rejected by a guy, that there is something totally wrong with them because guys will fuck anything.

If a guy does not want to sleep with a lady, it does not mean she is not awesome and desirable...it just means he physically prefers something else (maybe he wants a Camilla instead of a Diana).

 

[DrewPaul2010]

14 hours ago, JapMo said:

At some point in that extremely uncomfortable visit between Dr Vivianne, Henry and Christina, I am pretty sure I saw the moment Christina realized she does not have a real marriage with Henry nor will she ever have one.  Oh, she'll continue to put on a good show till d-day but she's thrown in the towel.  Henry pretty much conveyed, IMO, that he's never going to be sexually aggressive.  She will be forever whining, complaining, threatening, crying, pleading with him for sex maybe once or twice A YEAR!!!  I'm not trying to be funny.  All his little tics and insecurities came to the surface during that meeting.  For all of you that think he just isn't attracted to Christina or he's turned off by her meanness, I submit it has nothing to do with her.  The guy would be acting like this even if he got his "petite wife".   It has something to do with physical closeness and intimacy...something is not functioning correctly there.  It would be easy to say he's gay, and I thought at first he might be, but he's not.  I'm not going to presume to diagnose what's going on with him but I do think he should have raised a LOT of alarms with Drs. Pepper and Vivianne.  Why they misread him as just being shy is beyond me. 

I've been refuting posters declarations since day 1 that Henry should have been paired up with Olivia, but after seeing how cold and repressed she is, maybe everyone was right.  

The only person I can think of who might have been a good match was Jacquelyn from a few seasons ago. Its really asking a lot for anyone to deal with a man who has such issues at his age. We really don't become more pliable with age we get set like stone. It still makes you wonder why in the world Henry submitted himself to this and why they would pick him. If Henry was matched with Karen she'd be very happy with his attitude toward sex and affection. I may have missed but I haven't heard Christina comment on his facial tics. She could have said facial tics are a deal breaker.

As time goes on there might be three parting of ways by the end of the season.

[Boo Boo]

11 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

The only person I can think of who might have been a good match was Jacquelyn from a few seasons ago. Its really asking a lot for anyone to deal with a man who has such issues at his age. We really don't become more pliable with age we get set like stone. It still makes you wonder why in the world Henry submitted himself to this and why they would pick him. If Henry was matched with Karen she'd be very happy with his attitude toward sex and affection. I may have missed but I haven't heard Christina comment on his facial tics. She could have said facial tics are a deal breaker.

As time goes on there might be three parting of ways by the end of the season.

I guess I'll have to rewatch the scene again, but what are "such issues at his age"?  That he was once a heavy kid and still has some scars from it?  That he's not sexually aggressive?  That he has a facial tick?  

Most people have scars from their childhood.  If his biggest scar is still feeling like the fat kid in school who got picked on is his worst issue and therefore he isn't going to bend Christina over a table so soon into their relationship, that's not a terrible issue to have in my view.

I'd much rather date the guy who isn't presumptuous than someone sexually aggressive that I'm thinking this is something he does ALL THE TIME.

 

Edited September 24, 2020 by Boo Boo

[qtpye]

13 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

The only person I can think of who might have been a good match was Jacquelyn from a few seasons ago. Its really asking a lot for anyone to deal with a man who has such issues at his age. We really don't become more pliable with age we get set like stone. It still makes you wonder why in the world Henry submitted himself to this and why they would pick him. If Henry was matched with Karen she'd be very happy with his attitude toward sex and affection. I may have missed but I haven't heard Christina comment on his facial tics. She could have said facial tics are a deal breaker.

As time goes on there might be three parting of ways by the end of the season.

From what I heard, Henry has actually dated several women but the MO is always the same.

Henry is a good looking man and seems to easily attract nice looking women.

The nice looking women go on one date with Henry and find the experience totally "boring".

The nice looking women do not like Henry romantically but like him enough as a friend (Friend Zoning).

This is one of the reasons he had a ton of female friends at his wedding including Trishelle (who also when out on a date with him and found him boring), who went on to marry someone else.

He was probably hoping this show would help him break this cycle.

[qtpye]

18 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

The only person I can think of who might have been a good match was Jacquelyn from a few seasons ago. Its really asking a lot for anyone to deal with a man who has such issues at his age. We really don't become more pliable with age we get set like stone. It still makes you wonder why in the world Henry submitted himself to this and why they would pick him. If Henry was matched with Karen she'd be very happy with his attitude toward sex and affection. I may have missed but I haven't heard Christina comment on his facial tics. She could have said facial tics are a deal breaker.

As time goes on there might be three parting of ways by the end of the season.

I think people are mistaking Karen's lack of attraction to Miles as her being asexual.

If Miles gave her butterflies or goosebumps, we would be seeing a different side to her. She is no more attracted to Miles than Henry is to Christina.

The difference is that Miles has been a total sweetheart about the situation, which naturally makes us all feel bad about him.

This is shallow but I think Karen is one of the most naturally chique (or chic) women to come on this show. She kind of reminds me of an African American soap opera star from the eighties, when my grandmother used to watch.

[TzuShih]

Christina's lack of emotional intelligence is breathtakingly staggering!  (Henry, with his honesty, humor and kindness, has the REAL confidence in this relationship.)  I mean, c'mon, if you have to constantly tell people that you're a stable genius -- OOPS -- meant to say a 'model of confidence,' then you are probably NOT there yet!   HENRY:  Keep doing what you're doing.  CHRISTINA:  Please, like the Kitten looking into a mirror & seeing a Tiger, remember her/his words:  "What Matters Most is How You See Yourself!" ☺️

[Soup333]

16 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I think people are mistaking Karen's lack of attraction to Miles as her being asexual.

If Miles gave her butterflies or goosebumps, we would be seeing a different side to her. She is no more attracted to Miles than Henry is to Christina.

The difference is that Miles has been a total sweetheart about the situation, which naturally makes us all feel bad about him.

This is shallow but I think Karen is one of the most naturally chique (or chic) women to come on this show. She kind of reminds me of an African American soap opera star from the eighties, when my grandmother used to watch.

I think there may be attraction lurking beneath the murky waters of Karen but she’s so repressed and staid we’d never see it expressed on camera. And Miles may one day, long in the future, be able to coax some genuine affection out of her but he deserves so much more.

[TheMediumBopper]

12 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I think Bennett could be a wonderful kind of match for Henry.  They're chat about self confidence made Henry feel all warm and cozy and you could see the walls coming down!I

 

Oh, yes please! I want Benry! Anything to get Henry away from that mean hag Christina with that scarf on her head that makes her look like Bette Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. "I've written a letter to daddy...."

Seriously, I want to comment on how shitty her reaction to Henry was, but I'm too inarticulate with rage.  Fuck you, Christina.
 

Edited September 25, 2020 by TheMediumBopper

[Hangin Out]

2 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

The hook position in one that we’ve all probably done but didn’t know there was a name for it. I had to google it and was like it’s THAT? That’s as old as the Karma Sutra. Lol

Like those newbies think they have invented something new.  Been there, done that, and can show them a few things, lol.

[Jack Sampson]

2 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

I think she could make a go of marriage if the man earned as much/more, wanted to travel, eat out, drink fine wine, and didn't want kids.  Essentially the opposite of Brett.  Why she went on a show like this with such rigid expectations is beyond me. 

A man who ticked all of her boxes wouldn't be attracted to her.  He could do better...a LOT better.

 

6 hours ago, JapMo said:

Most guys would "do" Christina in a heartbeat...I mean, let's be honest here...they would.  Only the guy who is petrified of intimacy would have a problem. 

 

1 hour ago, qtpye said:

Can we do away with the myth that guys will fuck anything in a skirt?

I think it is not true of the Millennial and Gen Z generations so much, particularly after the metoo movement. I actually have a lot of younger women complain to me about guys being very passive because they are afraid of getting in trouble or being accused of harassments, so they let the ladies make the first moves.

The truth is if a guy is not attracted to a woman, he will not relish having sex with her because it can lead to entanglements and he just plain does not want to.

Guys WILL "do" most chicks but it depends on the circumstances, available options and how difficult she makes it.  Guys would bang Christina IF it's closing time and he's in a slump and she offers sex without any expectations of a relationship and she'll take a cab home immediately thereafter.  Admittedly, I've done worse, especially in college.  Guys clearly aren't even willing to buy her flowers, so we know most men aren't willing to put in any effort at all.  That usually means she's trying to bat WAY out of her league.  That's fine if she's cool with just sex and no relationship but, if she wants more, she needs to radically adjust her entire personality.

 

[TheMediumBopper]

9 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

 

Guys WILL "do" most chicks but it depends on the circumstances, available options and how difficult she makes it.  Guys would bang Christina IF it's closing time and he's in a slump and she offers sex without any expectations of a relationship and she'll take a cab home immediately thereafter.  Admittedly, I've done worse, especially in college.  Guys clearly aren't even willing to buy her flowers, so we know most men aren't willing to put in any effort at all.  That usually means she's trying to bat WAY out of her league.  That's fine if she's cool with just sex and no relationship but, if she wants more, she needs to radically adjust her entire personality.

 

Good to have some male perspective and input here, but with all due respect, I don't think you can speak for all men. I have five brothers and many male friends. Some of them are shy. Some of them are picky. Some of them are shy AND picky. Some of them don't drink and would therefore never be faced with the closing time scenario. A good many of them are not interested in "doing most chicks."

Edited September 24, 2020 by TheMediumBopper

[Hangin Out]

2 hours ago, NoWhammies said:

Ah yes. We used to call that Bugs Bunny (with your knees around your ears like Bugs Bunny). No? Just me? Anyway - even with yoga, this old body doesn't bend that way anymore. Bummer...

Ain’t that the truth.  We used to have silly names for everything.  Now, we still laugh about it all.  Good times.  Stupid Karen doesn’t know what she’s missing.  Time flies.

Edited September 24, 2020 by Silver Bells

[qtpye]

22 minutes ago, Jack Sampson said:

A man who ticked all of her boxes wouldn't be attracted to her.  He could do better...a LOT better.

 

 

Guys WILL "do" most chicks but it depends on the circumstances, available options and how difficult she makes it.  Guys would bang Christina IF it's closing time and he's in a slump and she offers sex without any expectations of a relationship and she'll take a cab home immediately thereafter.  Admittedly, I've done worse, especially in college.  Guys clearly aren't even willing to buy her flowers, so we know most men aren't willing to put in any effort at all.  That usually means she's trying to bat WAY out of her league.  That's fine if she's cool with just sex and no relationship but, if she wants more, she needs to radically adjust her entire personality.

 

But that is exactly the point.

If you went on this show, were matched with Christina, knew that you did not like her at all, had sex with her, and then said "no" on decision day...you would look like a total asshole. That is what I mean about a lot of guys have sexually rejected women on this show because they know they do not want the entanglements. I mean thank Zeus that Keith was too much of a gentleman to mess with Virgin Iris.

Christina is an attractive women...I am sure that many guys would like to sleep with her...but not Henry and particularly not in this situation, which is not a strings free one night stand.

I think Christina is actually very insecure and that is what has turned many men off to her, so I think you are not far off from your assessment.

I will spoiler tag this:

Spoiler

There have been some rumors that her last relationship was with a married pilot who eventually got tired of her. This might of been how she was able to go to all these exotic locations and get the first-class treatment since as a pilot, he would get a much higher standard of benefits than a stewardess. There are also rumors that she went to Mexico and got some plastic surgery after the show. I really hope that both of these rumors are not true for her sake.

 

Edited September 24, 2020 by qtpye

[qtpye]

17 minutes ago, TheMediumBopper said:

Good to have some male perspective and input here, but with all due respect, I don't think you can speak for all men. I have five brothers and many male friends. Some of them are shy. Some of them are picky. Some of them are shy AND picky. Some of them don't drink and would therefore never be faced with the closing time scenario. A good many of them are not interested in "doing most chicks."

I really think things have changes with some of the younger generations of men, who hopefully no longer feel pressured to live up to some weird standard of "toxic masculinity".

[psychoticstate]

19 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Henry on Unfiltered: " I think in general, she's (referring to ChristinA) just annoyed by my presence." 🤣Henry DOES have a dry sense of humor. He can be quite funny.

Henry's fat childhood seemed to have scarred him and may be the root of his lack of self-confidence, which he himself said. He still sees himself as that fat little kid, who was perhaps bullied. I don't think his garrulous, loud mouth Dad helped matters as he was shown being pretty obnoxious at the wedding and cracking jokes at Henry's expense. ChrstinA hasn't shown one iota of empathy; she basically said in her TH after the exercise that she doesn't understand why Henry is holding on to these issues at almost 35 and should get over it. She wants a confident man? Henry's not it. These two are a bad match.  Henry should perhaps consider therapy although I did find it interesting that he more or less has accepted his lack of self-confidence and doesn't consider it a top priority to improve upon as his wife would like. It's too bad he isn't more self- assured as imo he is quite good- looking and seems fairly intelligent as well, with a dry sense of humor. He could be something of a catch.

I actually think Henry is a greater catch than Christina.  When I was younger, I always went for the "bad boy" type.  Now I can see the appeal of someone like Henry, who appears to be kind, thoughtful, respectful and loyal.  

To me, the fact that Henry has accepted how he's wired is a form of self-confidence or self-assuredness.  

 

 

[Spectator]

I think Olivia’s complaint about the “long commute” from Brett’s house is really code for her being not so psyched to move out of her hip, fancy neighborhood and into Brett’s less expensive, less desirable neighborhood on the outskirts of town. I think she’s just trying to avoid directly insulting his house and his neighborhood, so to spare his feelings (it’s very obvious Brett is very proud of his house) shemade it about the commute instead. I kind of get it. She earns a decent living and even Brett said if he could afford it, he’d want to live in Olivia’s neighborhood too. So Olivia moving to his house is a big downgrade for her.
 

To continue the NYC comparison...it’s like Olivia rents an apartment in the West Village, near work - great neighborhood, easy commute - but Brett wants her to move to his house in Staten Island (complete with an in-kitchen workshop...every girls dream!). That’s a tough lift for a Manhattanite. 

And this is on heels of them discussing how he can’t afford to travel, which appears to have been a pretty central part of Olivia’s idea of marriage. In short, she’s bumming. She’s seeing lifestyle downgrades everywhere.
 

The bottom line is the disparity in Brett‘s and Olivia’s socioeconomic positions really should have given the experts a MAJOR reason to pause and reconsider this match. It’s filtering through to so many different aspects of their life (how they spend/save, travel, housing, etc...the list goes on and on). 

[Kira53]

9 minutes ago, Spectator said:

I think Olivia’s complaint about the “long commute” from Brett’s house is really code for her being not so psyched to move out of her hip, fancy neighborhood and into Brett’s less expensive, less desirable neighborhood on the outskirts of town. I think she’s just trying to avoid directly insulting his house and his neighborhood, so to spare his feelings (it’s very obvious Brett is very proud of his house) shemade it about the commute instead. I kind of get it. She earns a decent living and even Brett said if he could afford it, he’d want to live in Olivia’s neighborhood too. So Olivia moving to his house is a big downgrade for her.
 

To continue the NYC comparison...it’s like Olivia rents an apartment in the West Village, near work - great neighborhood, easy commute - but Brett wants her to move to his house in Staten Island (complete with an in-kitchen workshop...every girls dream!). That’s a tough lift for a Manhattanite. 

And this is on heels of them discussing how he can’t afford to travel, which appears to have been a pretty central part of Olivia’s idea of marriage. In short, she’s bumming. She’s seeing lifestyle downgrades everywhere.
 

The bottom line is the disparity in Brett‘s and Olivia’s socioeconomic positions really should have given the experts a MAJOR reason to pause and reconsider this match. It’s filtering through to so many different aspects of their life (how they spend/save, travel, housing, etc...the list goes on and on). 

Would you say the same thing if the man made more money?  Should the "experts" see it as MAJOR if the man had more income and liked "nice things".

[LennieBriscoe]

5 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

I think she could make a go of marriage if the man earned as much/more, wanted to travel, eat out, drink fine wine, and didn't want kids.  Essentially the opposite of Brett.  Why she went on a show like this with such rigid expectations is beyond me.  None of those desires are bad, she just very much knows what she wants and either didn't express that in the matching process or they didn't listen to her.   

That said, I'd be ready to pop Brett in the mouth if I was married to him.  He's an ass.  He's really opened my eyes to my own sarcastic/smart-ass ways and is making me evaluate myself.  I do think sarcasm can be funny, but his is cruel sometimes and I don't want to be like that.  Thanks for the nudge to be more self-aware, Brett!

That man? I found him! He earned a bit more, and we traveled, dined out, drank fine and not so fine wine, and didn't want children! Good for almost 41 years, until that "do us part" part. 

[Spectator]

It’s interesting that Dr Viv immediately asked Olivia if she believed Brett when he started into his soliloquy about her eyes and her “second smile”. Before she even said it I was TOTALLY questioning his sincerity too. It seemed like a bunch of rehearsed nonsense that he’d seen in a movie somewhere and just repeated it, thinking it would make him look sensitive and sincere. (Does anyone remember the “she has six smiles” quote from Win A Date With Tad Hamilton???? Hmmmmmm....oh Brett, Brett, Brett (shaking head). Lol.). I was glad to see that Dr Viv didn’t just fawn over it and shower him with praise for his sensitivity or whatever. Thank god.
 

But I was quite surprised when Olivia told Dr Viv that she did believe him. But then, less surprisingly, the next day said she didn’t believe him, noting that if he felt that way he would have said it to her (off-camera) while they were sharing a nice moment together the prior night. So I think Olivia has a point that Brett is putting on a show for the cameras. But at the same time, she should have called him out on it then and there when Dr Viv asked. So Brett has a point too that Olivia hasn’t necessarily been fully honest or real, at least up until that conversation following the Dr Viv visit.

 

I don’t like either of these two, but if I had to pick a team, I’d be #TeamOlivia. Brett would drive me nuts. Everything about his demeanor irks me. His short, one words responses when he feels cornered. Or that smug expression. Or his propensity to insult people and their activities when they’re doing something that doesn’t interest him (ex. rating the marriage with the other couples, playing trivia with Olivia’s friends)...he doesn’t need to call everything he doesn’t like “stupid”. That is so rude. So yes, Olivia does seem pretty icy at times (most times, lol) but I wouldn’t want to hold his hand either. I wouldn’t want to do a thing with him. He just rubs me the wrong way. He’s actually one of my least favorite MAFS participants ever, and that’s saying something! 

[Spectator]

27 minutes ago, Kira53 said:

Would you say the same thing if the man made more money?  Should the "experts" see it as MAJOR if the man had more income and liked "nice things".

Absolutely. Gender has nothing to do with it. If a woman who lived in a modest house in a lesser part of town and who didn’t prioritize travel and entertainment was matched with a guy who enjoyed living in the hip part of town and traveling, their differences would be just as obvious.  Now if, in addition, that guy were feeling pressure to give up his lifestyle and adopt the woman’s lifestyle, then the mismatch would really reveal itself.

Spending habits and lifestyle priorities are pretty significant when evaluating compatibility. If Brett allocates practically 0% of his budget to entertainment while Olivia obviously spends a much higher percentage on it, that’s a compatibility issue. He wants to save money, she wants to spend it on experiences. Gender is completely irrelevant.

[Alexander Pope]

23 hours ago, MyTwoCents said:

Bennett has a fantastic mind: the way he sees things; his ability to verbalize his feelings so vividly and thoroughly; his constant compassion toward others; and his insightfulness. Of course Amelia has fallen in love with him.

I am an English professor and when Bennett encouraged Henry by telling him he needed to think about what confidence REALLY meant vs what society thinks it ought to mean, I gave Bennett A for life.  I loved seeing those two together.  There is an example of really listening to someone and wanting to help them without trying to change them.

[gonecrackers]

5 hours ago, qtpye said:

Stephanie is the petite and patient woman that Henry probably wanted to be matched up wtih

If anyone was still wondering how a skinflint like Brett went on so many dates, he said online that most of the women he dated were happy to pay for all the dinners and drinks, so it was no cost to him.  Maybe he is shocked that Olivia is not bowled over by his amazing looks and personality?

Stephanie wanted someone with some energy who wanted to travel & have adventures with her. I doubt Henry would've been her speed.

Olivia says Brett acts like he's just on a TV show - a TV show that gave him a free vacay & many free meals & drinks for 8 weeks. Cup is half full for Brett (& free).

Edited September 25, 2020 by gonecrackers

[Alexander Pope]

22 hours ago, Linarina said:

It's funny how divergent and ardent the views are on Olivia and Brett.  I feel like, with what we have been shown, 90% of the blame lies with Olivia.  Others are saying Brett must be a jerk off-camera, but even she's not saying that!  She referenced their long, intimate talk the night before, where she would've expected him to give her that smile compliment.  So it couldn't have been a bad convo.  

I almost wonder if she's just too insecure to take him at his word that he genuinely likes her.  Yes, he's a sarcastic guy, but she can't read his tone and intent.  

Olivia:  Do you like me?

Brett:  Yes, very much.

Olivia:  Why are you lying?

Brett:  I'm not lying. I've told you all along how much I like you, and I'm sincere.

Olivia:  So you're not going to admit you don't want me?  Fine, Brett.  Be that way.

Brett:  What do you want from me?

Olivia:  The truth!

/paraphrasing

Anyway, I find her exhaustingly bitchy.

at this point I think they both annoy me equally!!

[TheMediumBopper]

I'm not a Brett apologist-- his constant need to be 'on' and irreverent is tiring-- but I thought his comment about Olivia's smile was sincere. The reason I thought so is because it's true, and it's something I've noticed myself; the few times she's looked really pretty is when her face has lit up in that way, but it's so rare. What I find intriguing is that she seems so furious at Brett. She's not just a little ticked off; she's seething. You can see it in her posture, in her flushed neck and chest, in the grim downturn of her mouth. It makes me think that some shit's gone down off camera that has brought them to the point of no return. 

As for the two other major problem children of the season... I was aghast when Christina's face instantly got bitchy when Henry was talking about his confidence issues and some of his struggles as an erstwhile fat kid. And then the little smirk on her face when she said that confidence was her dealbreaker! That wasn't just tactlessness. That was targeted meanness. 

I can't remember when I've ever been so anxious for the MAFS finale, and it's not because I'm dying to know what happens on decision day. It's because I'm going to breathe a huge sigh of relief when some of these horrible people get the heave-ho for good. 

[Kira53]

3 hours ago, Spectator said:

Absolutely. Gender has nothing to do with it. If a woman who lived in a modest house in a lesser part of town and who didn’t prioritize travel and entertainment was matched with a guy who enjoyed living in the hip part of town and traveling, their differences would be just as obvious.  Now if, in addition, that guy were feeling pressure to give up his lifestyle and adopt the woman’s lifestyle, then the mismatch would really reveal itself.

Spending habits and lifestyle priorities are pretty significant when evaluating compatibility. If Brett allocates practically 0% of his budget to entertainment while Olivia obviously spends a much higher percentage on it, that’s a compatibility issue. He wants to save money, she wants to spend it on experiences. Gender is completely irrelevant.

I disagree. I think the average person thinks that the man should just pay for the woman and that the woman doesn't have to make equal money to him.  Why would the guy be feeling pressured to give up his lifestyle and adopt the woman's lifestyle when he has money?  I can only imagine if the man refused to pay to share any of the "good things in life" with his new wife what would be said on the Internet.

Edited September 25, 2020 by Kira53
I don't remember to proofread.

[Linarina]

59 minutes ago, TheMediumBopper said:

As for the two other major problem children of the season... I was aghast when Christina's face instantly got bitchy when Henry was talking about his confidence issues and some of his struggles as an erstwhile fat kid. And then the little smirk on her face when she said that confidence was her dealbreaker! That wasn't just tactlessness. That was targeted meanness.

I'm not a Christina fan, but given the mute lump of a person she's been cruelly matched with, one could also read her smirk as an empowering "I'm tired of pretending you have potential, confidence in a mate is not too much to ask for, screw you for wasting my time," and I would totally get that.

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Stephanie wanted someone with some energy who wanted to travel & have adventures with her. I doubt Henry would've been her speed.

Olivia says Brett acts like he's just on a TV show - a TV show that gave him a free vacay & many free meals & drinks for 8 weeks. Cup is half full for Brett (& free).

I have heard AJ (Stephanie's husband) on other platforms and he comes off very well spoken and not anything like the way he was on the show. In a small voice...I would take AJ over Henry, any day of the week. I would actually like AJ a lot more than Brett, as well.

14 minutes ago, Linarina said:

I'm not a Christina fan, but given the mute lump of a person she's been cruelly matched with, one could also read her smirk as an empowering "I'm tired of pretending you have potential, confidence in a mate is not too much to ask for, screw you for wasting my time," and I would totally get that.

Since Henry has dated quite a bit, Christina will just be in a long line of many women who have tried and failed before her. He is nice but does not have the type of personality that most women find attractive.

[Rae Spellman]

 

21 hours ago, Soup333 said:

What has Woody said about his dating history that makes you say that? 

He's had one night stands, cheated on  a girlfriend, and ghosted at least one woman after sex.

21 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I don't think Karen's parents were older in age when Karen was born, I think they might be those Jack and Jill types.  Some of them are more concerned with the way things look than the way things are.  

Yes. That's why I doubted the assertions that she wanted a thug. 

18 hours ago, qtpye said:

He said online that most of the women he dated were happy to pay for all the dinners and drinks, so it was no cost to him.   Maybe he is shocked that Olivia is not bowled over by his amazing looks and personality?

Especially after she mentioned not dating (much) over the past few years. 

17 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I guess living in a city where people coming from more expensive areas are increasing congestion and commute times, and driving up house prices and the property taxes that are based on the house value, could be considered a first-world problem, too.  But that doesn't make it any less real for the people who can no longer afford to live where they've lived for years, or whose commute has increased to an unacceptable level.

Commuting is a stressor. Olivia has a stressful job. In my area, people with > 30 minute commutes seem to do so for two reasons. 1) They can't afford the size of home and/or neighborhood they like close to work. 2) They have children and the schools in the farther away neighborhood are better or at least perceived to be better. Since Olivia doesn't have/want kids and can afford the neighborhood she wants to live in, she's not interested in commuting 30 minutes or so to live where Brett can afford to live. 

14 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Would you say the same thing if the man made more money?  Should the "experts" see it as MAJOR if the man had more income and liked "nice things".

No. If a man applies for MAFS and says he wants a woman who makes a certain income and enjoys nicer things, the experts should absolutely explore why.  They should also consider that paring him with a woman who has no interest in pursuing a lucrative career or spending money on experiences is setting both of them up to fail. 

 

 

 

Edited September 25, 2020 by Rhiannon Hunter
typo