S04.E06: Can't Buy Me Love

[Leilani]

SOJABOY could do alot better then Lisa especially since he's so accomdating. It's odd he has hitched himself to this sad sack of permed hair and weird husky voice.

[gavinmac]

27 minutes ago, Leilani said:

SOJABOY could do alot better then Lisa especially since he's so accomdating. It's odd he has hitched himself to this sad sack of permed hair and weird husky voice.

Depends what you mean by "a lot better than Lisa."  Good looking thirty-something year old sane American women aren't trawling Nigerian online dating sites looking for husbands.

[Ijustwantsomechips]

1 hour ago, Gobi said:

Mexico is known for its vanilla?

Yes! Some of the best I’ve ever had. 

[Spike]

So Lisa may have been merely the least repulsive choice.

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, Leilani said:

SOJABOY could do alot better then Lisa especially since he's so accomdating. It's odd he has hitched himself to this sad sack of permed hair and weird husky voice.

It's very ogilve, right?

[Squee Bastard]

1 hour ago, Spike said:

So Lisa may have been merely the least repulsive choice.

It's hard to believe someone could be more repulsive than Lisa.

[Spike]

2 minutes ago, Squee Bastard said:

It's hard to believe someone could be more repulsive than Lisa.

Maybe he ranked them by weight and the others were 300 plus.

[humbleopinion]

BGLisa’s bust and waist circumference measure the same since her boobs hang low on top of her jelly belly protruding high....it is like measuring a watermelon.

Edited March 27, 2020 by humbleopinion

[mamadrama]

I think Usman underestimated BellyGuhlVisa. He probably thought she was "old" and homely so it wouldn't take much on his part to make her smitten. Probably figured he could throw her some cliches, write"her" a song, give her a few rounds in the sack and he'd have one foot out the door of Nigeria. She'd be so grateful to have a young "celebrity" that she'd eat out of his hand. He probably didn't count on her being so demanding, belligerent, and rude in person. 20 minutes after meeting her at the airport he probably realized he'd bit off more than he could chew and now he's thinking OH SHIT.

[Gobi]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

I think Usman underestimated BellyGuhlVisa. He probably thought she was "old" and homely so it wouldn't take much on his part to make her smitten. Probably figured he could throw her some cliches, write"her" a song, give her a few rounds in the sack and he'd have one foot out the door of Nigeria. She'd be so grateful to have a young "celebrity" that she'd eat out of his hand. He probably didn't count on her being so demanding, belligerent, and rude in person. 20 minutes after meeting her at the airport he probably realized he’d bit off more than he could chew and now he's thinking OH SHIT.

I think that realization came later.

[Kid]

On 3/25/2020 at 10:49 PM, magemaud said:

What a beauty. “And THIS is BibbygulLeesuh” 

My eyes!!!   My eyes!!!!

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Gobi said:

I think that realization came later.

His "morning after" face says it all

[humbleopinion]

5 hours ago, mamadrama said:

 he probably realized he'd bit off more than he could chew and now he's thinking OH SHIT.

SojaBoy...just because it is dry, tough and leathery down there...you don't need to bite and chew....

Edited March 27, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Spike]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

SojaBoy...just because it is dry, tough and leathery down there...you don't need to bite and chew....

We should call her Rawhide.

[Zevious Zoquis]

I like how David is now gonna "get tough".  No more mister nice guy!  Lana had good reasons for not showing the first 3 times he travelled several thousand miles for a first date but this time is different!  lol...

[humbleopinion]

42 minutes ago, Spike said:

We should call her Rawhide.

BGLisa+SojaBoy favorite sex game...Rawhide and seek....Ack! Gak! Gag!...

 

[Spike]

17 minutes ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

I like how David is now gonna "get tough".  No more mister nice guy!  Lana had good reasons for not showing the first 3 times he travelled several thousand miles for a first date but this time is different!  lol...

He admits the first time she did not have a good excuse.  That must be the one free dog bite rule.  Plus she should be able to provide proof of her brother’s death if it actually occurred.

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

I like how David is now gonna "get tough".  No more mister nice guy!  Lana had good reasons for not showing the first 3 times he travelled several thousand miles for a first date but this time is different!  lol...

She had major emergency surgery and her brother died!  Are you suggesting that a woman that is 40 years younger than David, hot and only reachable on the internet lied?  How dare you!

I'm sure there was another earth shattering emergency....like she was called to an emergency meeting of the G7, her dog got sick or she couldn't find the blue dress she wanted to wear.  

And now that I think about it, shout out to Monica Lewinsky. 

44 minutes ago, Spike said:

He admits the first time she did not have a good excuse.  That must be the one free dog bite rule.  Plus she should be able to provide proof of her brother’s death if it actually occurred.

LOL, yeah, but even I could phony up a funeral program if I had to.  I mean she basically made up an entire profile, surely whoever is in charge can come up with something.  

I thought she "missed" the first meeting because she needed surgery.  

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

I like how David is now gonna "get tough".  No more mister nice guy!  Lana had good reasons for not showing the first 3 times he travelled several thousand miles for a first date but this time is different!  lol...

He was very stern with her in his Skype message.  

No more mr. "Mmmmmmm...yes"

[Gobi]

9 minutes ago, RealReality said:

LOL, yeah, but even I could phony up a funeral program if I had to.  I mean she basically made up an entire profile, surely whoever is in charge can come up with something.  

I thought she "missed" the first meeting because she needed surgery.  

She could show him a menu in Cyrillic, he wouldn't know the difference.

[humbleopinion]

Darkened hotel room.....

SjB: MMMph...MMMph...Ooo baby, am I rocking your world?

BGL: Bibbi Luv, what are you talking about....I was in the bathroom...

SjB: I worked my way starting downtown... to midtown... and then the outer boroughs

BGL: Why are  wearing my purse on your head?

Edited March 28, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Mrs. Hanson]

24 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I could phony up a funeral program if I had to.  I mean she basically made up an entire profile, surely whoever is in charge can come up with something.  

I would want proof via a published obituary but these fools would believe anything so........

[Spike]

33 minutes ago, RealReality said:

She had major emergency surgery and her brother died!  Are you suggesting that a woman that is 40 years younger than David, hot and only reachable on the internet lied?  How dare you!

I'm sure there was another earth shattering emergency....like she was called to an emergency meeting of the G7, her dog got sick or she couldn't find the blue dress she wanted to wear.  

And now that I think about it, shout out to Monica Lewinsky. 

LOL, yeah, but even I could phony up a funeral program if I had to.  I mean she basically made up an entire profile, surely whoever is in charge can come up with something.  

I thought she "missed" the first meeting because she needed surgery.  

No he said the first time she just stood him up.

13 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Darkened hotel room.....

SjB: MMMph...MMMph...Ooo baby, am I rocking your world?

BGL: Bibbi Luv, what are you talking about....I was in the bathroom...

SjB: I worked my way starting downtown... to midtown..and then the outer boroughs....

BGL: Why are  wearing my purse on your head?

It should have been a clue that the purse was moister.

[Coltee Gal]

4 hours ago, Spike said:

  4 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Darkened hotel room.....

SjB: MMMph...MMMph...Ooo baby, am I rocking your world?

BGL: Bibbi Luv, what are you talking about....I was in the bathroom...

SjB: I worked my way starting downtown... to midtown..and then the outer boroughs....

BGL: Why are  wearing my purse on your head?

You KNOW you’re wrong 🤣🤣🤣

[Frozendiva]

Watched the half hour preview.

Geoffrey, there is no guarantee that you and Varya will click in-person as you seem to do so online. Who cares if she was talking to another American? You don't own her. Don't care that your feelings were hurt. No guarantee at all that meeting the love of your life that you only talked to online will transfer in to a real relationship.

Lisa, shut up regarding Usman. His music people are guiding his career. All you seem to want is to be with a 'celebrity' to validate you. You don't have much to offer him except for a Green Card. Doubt you'd like being stuck on a tour bus with him for months and months. Being on the road is not an easy life. Heck, he probably would have a tour van and that is no fun. You want the comforts that he really isn't giving to you.

Ed, any fool can regret yesterday. You may have meant well, but you offended Rose.

Does the show get a discount at the NYC The Time Hotel? Seems that a lot of folks stay there. And Tom, you should know better than to put your bag on the bed. Not hard to go to the closet to find the suitcase holder. Darcey, why are you bothering? We don't want to see you cry any more.

[blubld43]

21 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

SojaBoy...just because it is dry, tough and leathery down there...you don't need to bite and chew...

* Insert vomit emoji*

[Takitaki]

Yeah Geoffrey is so dumb. Sure she was on an international dating site, JUST LIKE HE WAS, but never spoke to anyone else. He's got some nerve getting mad about something that stupid when his own lies (by omission) are so much worse. He's unhinged but at least Varya is getting to see glimpses of what her life would be like with the lunatic. If her friends hadn't been around, he would definitely have put his hands on her. Douche.

Why was David at the train station at 8am if Lana's train was supposedly arriving at 10am? Or was he there for two hours?

I laughed so hard at Tom's REGARDS. They're not in a relationship but he's stringing deluded Darcy along to be on tv. She's dumb as a rock but he's a shithead because he knows how dumb she is and is using it to his advantage.

Lisa is not having a conversation with Usman, just dictating her opinion as the truth. He was trying to tell her he disagreed with her and she was just like NO. Like he's a child and she is a very angry mommy.

Good on Rose for not answering asshole Ed. When she was upset in front of his face, he was just like whatever, basically blackmailing Rose with either her telling him how many boyfriends she's had (wtf?) or getting an std test. Now he wants a "2nd chance" because he got his way after forcing her to tell him about his past, which is not really fair. He'll just a be dick to her again over something else.

What is it with putting suitcases on the bed?! Why the hell would anyone do that?! Also stephanie travelled for god knows many hours but wants to go do a romantic bath with Eri-CAW instead washing herself before they get busy? These people are all disgusting.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, Takitaki said:

Why was David at the train station at 8am if Lana's train was supposedly arriving at 10am? Or was he there for two hours?

I thought he said her train was due in at 8:00 AM. He couldn’t read the arrivals information but what drove me nuts was why he just didn’t ASK someone. Every country I’ve traveled in has some kind of information/help desk for people who don’t read the local language. Instead he’s just going to stand by the tracks and watch people get off EVERY train that comes in until he sees a woman in a blue dress? And then check outside in case he missed her? What an idiot 

edited to add: you can’t tell me no one on the camera crew could translate Cyrillic? I guess that wouldn’t make for such suspenseful television 

Edited March 28, 2020 by magemaud

[humbleopinion]

11 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Watched the half hour preview.

Does the show get a discount at the NYC The Time Hotel?

Welcomes production crews for reality teevee shoots..willing to  cordon off a hallway for filming, put up professional lighting, vacate neighboring rooms to not bother paying customers....welcomes skanky skanks like Darcy instead of calling the Vice Squad for suspect prostitution and soliciting....

[Baltimore Betty]

22 hours ago, Zevious Zoquis said:

I like how David is now gonna "get tough".  No more mister nice guy!  Lana had good reasons for not showing the first 3 times he travelled several thousand miles for a first date but this time is different!  lol...

Yeah it's different this time, he has a film crew with him. 

Nothing says successful, self assured man like getting stood up by the same woman 4 times who won't give you her phone number.  He is such a weenie.

 

[humbleopinion]

 David  is starting a new style trend...the polo muumuu

He would look better with about 5 pounds of "hair" cut off his coif.....

1970's John Davidson wants his hair back...

[nb360]

Hey all,

Granted Lisa has an unattractive personality.  Can we point that out without body-shaming her?

[hisbunkie]

15 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Darcey, why are you bothering? We don't want to see you cry any more.

Darcey is bothering with Tom because she can’t quit any man, no matter how much they disrespect her.  
I just don’t understand her thought process.  She’s taking the train into the city to break up with Tom, she cannot kiss him hello because she feels uncomfortable with him BUT she packs a suitcase worthy of a weeks stay?  

[Frozendiva]

2 minutes ago, hisbunkie said:

Darcey is bothering with Tom because she can’t quit any man, no matter how much they disrespect her.  
I just don’t understand her thought process.  She’s taking the train into the city to break up with Tom, she cannot kiss him hello because she feels uncomfortable with him BUT she packs a suitcase worthy of a weeks stay?  

She needs an outfit for every possible occasion.

[hisbunkie]

45 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

She needs an outfit for every possible occasion.

Yet she always looks like whore at  early mass.

[kendi]

On 3/25/2020 at 9:31 AM, DEL901 said:

I am waiting for Ed to see Rose’s home and express surprise that non of his gifts are there.   He should have done his homework or maybe asked her what she and Prince needed?

Hopefully she sold everything at her store.

The stuff he was cramming into his suitcase in an earlier episode was stupid. Microwave popcorn, lollipops, wine, etc. What's really going to piss me off is if he does make it to her home, he will be so disrespectful and openly show his feelings about how she lives. Seeing how he has zero tact and constantly complains about the heat and being a germaphobe, he will lose his temper and lash out at her again. It's his fault for not listening to his co-worker and doing a little research. He's visiting a third-world country and he knows how poor she is. And he's still holding onto that engagement ring because the intention of this trip was to propose. Delusional Ed. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

Geoffrey - shut up and go away.

Ed - you have been chatting with a girl younger than your daughter, met once and you are acting like a lovestruck 15 year old.  And you are in your 50's.

Lisa you are a hosebeast and you do not get to dictate who is in his videos, nor who attends a party.  Get your nose out of his source of income.  Do you not get female fans are a GOOD thing??  I am gonna get down on my knees tonight and pray - not for toilet paper or bleach but that the girl is edited back into the music video.  I want to see Lisa LOSE! HER! SHIT!  Who is with me???

David - are people this dim?

Edited March 29, 2020 by Mrs. Hanson

[humbleopinion]

BGL most likely financed the video shoot and the premier party so she feels she can dictate who is in the video and at the par-tay.

[iwasish]

On 3/25/2020 at 12:11 AM, Kyanight said:

He has his blow-up doll collection... so there's that.

Those poor dolls are going to get a real rage sex workout when David returns. 

[Christina]

If Lanas doesn't turn out to be a Paul Bunyon looking man wearing a blue dress to greet David, I'm going to throw a tantrum.

Lisa has been so nasty and hateful to any FEEmale she crosses, including horrible body shaming and accusing them of having STI and smelling like ass, with fag**t being her favorite slur to throw around while threatening violence, that no, she doesn't get the benefit of no body shaming directed her way. She dishes it, she can take it.

She is a nasty person all around and I'm amazed she made it this far in life without getting knocked on her ass. I would love to see her try and physically block a FEEmale who says something nice to Usman, and get to spend some time in a Nigerian jail for violence. She's atrocious and I don't know why they thought she would be interesting to watch for viewers. 

[deirdra]

Maybe she HAS been knocked on her ass, causing the back pain.

[nytonc]

I’m mad that they cut the sneak peek before we got to see the Tom/Darcey reunion. Tom didn’t send her kiss emojis like he usually does.  I guess that settles it. He hates her.
 

Given that Darcey is such an emotional mess, I’m really surprised that she is mentally stable enough to keep returning to this franchise. She has to know everyone mocks her, right?  If she deliberately avoids social media, I’m sure Stacey  just loves to tell her all the negative shit. I briefly (nanoseconds) considered she might be playing us and she’s really a strong, confidant, well-adjusted woman who doesn’t drink and loves nothing more than lounging around, sans fillers, Botox, make-up and spider eyelashes, in PJs with her daughters. 
 

Who am I kidding.  

 

 

 

[nytonc]

On 3/27/2020 at 12:13 PM, Kid said:

My eyes!!!   My eyes!!!!

This ^^^. He was waaaay too generous with that 70%

[nytonc]

8 hours ago, hisbunkie said:

Darcey is bothering with Tom because she can’t quit any man, no matter how much they disrespect her.  
I just don’t understand her thought process.  She’s taking the train into the city to break up with Tom, she cannot kiss him hello because she feels uncomfortable with him BUT she packs a suitcase worthy of a weeks stay?  

Reminds me of the time she got mad at Jesse and got out  of the cab they were in. She had to drag her 32 pieces of luggage to the sidewalk. Pure gold! 

[mamadrama]

53 minutes ago, nytonc said:

I’m mad that they cut the sneak peek before we got to see the Tom/Darcey reunion. Tom didn’t send her kiss emojis like he usually does.  I guess that settles it. He hates her.
 

Given that Darcey is such an emotional mess, I’m really surprised that she is mentally stable enough to keep returning to this franchise. She has to know everyone mocks her, right?  If she deliberately avoids social media, I’m sure Stacey  just loves to tell her all the negative shit. I briefly (nanoseconds) considered she might be playing us and she’s really a strong, confidant, well-adjusted woman who doesn’t drink and loves nothing more than lounging around, sans fillers, Botox, make-up and spider eyelashes, in PJs with her daughters. 
 

Who am I kidding.  

 

 

 

I think Darcy has some severe abandonment issues. It's not Tom or Jesse that she wants, it's the fact that THEY don't want HER. Despite all her "strong woman" platitudes, her whole identity is based around men and attention from them. When one stops wanting to be with her, it completely shifts her foundation. She's flighty and seems directionless in that she doesn't appear to have any real goals, interests, or plans. She wants to be a model, an influencer, a reality star, a singer, a fashion designer...By attaching herself to these guys, she gets a temporary anchor. Now she can take on THEIR life and interests and it takes the pressure off of her to do anything with her own life. She wants an engagement as soon as they meet, she pictures herself living in their country before she's even out of the cab. Her attachment to the attention also makes her highly suceptible to falling in with men with bad intentions. The men themselves are interchangeable; their jobs, country of residence, interests, etc don't matter as long as they're reasonably attractive and act into her.

I don't know how she's mentally stable enough to do this show, and I don't think she should. She's gonna bottom out soon and it won't be pretty. 

I feel sorry for her and yet....it's a damn interesting trainwreck to watch. I can't look away.

[Mrs. Landingham]

On 3/25/2020 at 8:58 PM, Spike said:

She looks like the fetal pig we dissected in biology class.

That pig was no doubt full of allure compared to the heinous mess that is BibbiGurl.

[gotta watch]

WHY does Lisa sit so hunched over in her talking heads? She looks like an actual troll.

[Kangatush]

On 3/26/2020 at 5:59 PM, Gobi said:

Mexico is known for its vanilla?

Mexico and Tahiti for all your vanilla needs.  And speaking of vanilla, I think David's plan was horseback riding AND bowling, because he's a wild and crazy guy.

[Boston]

2 hours ago, gotta watch said:

WHY does Lisa sit so hunched over in her talking heads? She looks like an actual troll.

Honey.. she IS a troll (hope you don't take offence to Honey).. so funny

[charmed1]

4 hours ago, gotta watch said:

WHY does Lisa sit so hunched over in her talking heads? She looks like an actual troll.

Ha! She does. I laughed when Geoffrey started crying in the parking lot of what looked like the Russian equivalent of TGIFridays.