S11.E06: An Awkward Valentine's Day

[laurakaye]

13 hours ago, crimson23 said:

I think Meri enjoyed being Catfished, She finally got some attention and won't let it go.

Yes, she certainly did.  And she kept on meeting up with other women who had been catfished by JO - they'd go out to dinner and giggle like 7th-grade girls who both had a crush on the 8th grade hottie.  Never mind the chaos and danger this crazy person could've brought into their families...Meri and her buddies got off on those wonderful, romantic fillings of thinking they were going to be swept away by a tall, dark & handsome stranger from Chicago, and continuing to talk about "him" kept those fillings alive.   

 

8 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

He's in this lifestyle because he is a horn dog and did you know he has 4 wives!! Four!! He's just after the booty calls.

++++++++++++1,000,000.  It may have started with religion but that was just to hook TLC.  Kody is all about Kody.

[Kohola3]

41 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

Hope y'all got some strong coffee for this one.

 

Brilliant!  My laugh for this morning.

[Kyanight]

7 hours ago, lilsadone said:

I just think he was low key pissed because it was HIS birthday and how dare they make HIS birthday all about them.

I mean, even though Kody is totally an attention whore, I still can't blame him. Announce your engagement the next day, or a day before - with a family of 790 people I'd want my own day to shine. 🤣

But remember.... just because they pretended it was Kody's birthday doesn't mean that the camera crew actually came on THAT exact day.  And SINCE the camera crew was going to be filming - that is why they had Mariah and Audrey fly out to Arizona to announce their big news.  I think that the entire family already KNEW what the "big news" was, and it's possible that they celebrated Kody's birthday privately on his special day and then re-gifted the bicycle and pretended that it was his birthday for the viewing audience.  After all, they are running out of newsworthy stuff to film.

[lookeyloo]

Just now, Kyanight said:

But remember.... just because they pretended it was Kody's birthday doesn't mean that the camera crew actually came on THAT exact day.  And SINCE the camera crew was going to be filming - that is why they had Mariah and Audrey fly out to Arizona to announce their big news.  I think that the entire family already KNEW what the "big news" was, and it's possible that they celebrated Kody's birthday privately on his special day and then re-gifted the bicycle and pretended that it was his birthday for the viewing audience.  After all, they are running out of newsworthy stuff to film.

Exactly - scripted reality.  We learn a bit more about their lives from their inane and "curated" instagram posts than from the show.

[Kohola3]

15 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

But remember.... just because they pretended it was Kody's birthday doesn't mean that the camera crew actually came on THAT exact day. 

Absolutely.  They mock things up to suit whatever fits their jam packed work schedules.  Wait, what am I saying.

This is all so stupid and tired since we KNOW they haven't built the Plyg Palace and never will and we KNOW Sludge and Pudge are not married nor is there any talk of that happening. In fact, Sludge has virtually disappeared off Pudge's SM posting except for a rare picture.  I doubt there will be any wedding unless Papa Polygamist decrees it for a try at another season. 

Watching the planning of another Brown Clown wedding would be a crushing bore, just like another birth seen.  The horse is dead, stop beating it with the TLC stick.

[Kyanight]

4 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Absolutely.  They mock things up to suit whatever fits their jam packed work schedules.  Wait, what am I saying.

This is all so stupid and tired since we KNOW they haven't built the Plyg Palace and never will and we KNOW Sludge and Pudge are not married nor is there any talk of that happening. In fact, Sludge has virtually disappeared off Pudge's SM posting except for a rare picture.  I doubt there will be any wedding unless Papa Polygamist decrees it for a try at another season. 

Watching the planning of another Brown Clown wedding would be a crushing bore, just like another birth seen.  The horse is dead, stop beating it with the TLC stick.

I more or less just wrote the same thing in "Sanditon" message!  lol

[winsomeone]

I would think they would see how much it costs to run utilities to their land before drawing up plans for a mansion? Maybe it isn't even possible if the land is out in no man's land? If they do manage to build this house, some of the older kids by that time would be ready to graduate , and have to switch schools yet again?

[DaphneCat]

7 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:

He did say the box was so it would be easier for her to take home. I’d think a box bottom would be much easier than a vase bottom. 

But he DID take them out of the box for the other two wives who also had to take them home.  Also, there is no reason she couldn't have simply slipped the vase back in the box.  No, he was making a point - I'm only got you these because I was in the store already (and TLC said I had to.)  I will not waste ONE calorie of extra energy on you.

[bichonblitz]

Oh, great, we get to see Robyn cry next week. That's a new one. 

[xwordfanatik]

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

I more or less just wrote the same thing in "Sanditon" message!  lol

What is Sanditon?  

[Kyanight]

1 minute ago, xwordfanatik said:

What is Sanditon?  

It's a mini-series based on the novel Jane Austen was writing when she died.  It was SUPPOSED to be the first season, but it didn't have a huge viewing audience in the U.K. so unless it does great in the U.S. - it's cancelled.  It's VERY good if you like shows like that.  Kohola is watching it so we've been discussing it in messages.  No one on this board would care.  ALTHOUGH - it's better than watching paint dry - which is what this season of Sister Wives equates to.

[Sandy W]

4 minutes ago, DaphneCat said:

But he DID take them out of the box for the other two wives who also had to take them home.  Also, there is no reason she couldn't have simply slipped the vase back in the box.  No, he was making a point - I'm only got you these because I was in the store already (and TLC said I had to.)  I will not waste ONE calorie of extra energy on you.

The show is stretched so thin for story line now, they are making an issue out of every little nuance.  For those that are Meri supporters, this business of leaving her vase in the box becomes a 'slight' against Meri.  It could have been something as simple as he considered that the other 2 wives that had to transport them had a child with them that could carry them on their lap. 

Nah, I'm giving Kody too much credit here for thinking 'inside the box', he was probably pizzed at Meri because she pretended to be engrossed in conversation with Aspyn? as he approached her from behind with the arrangement.  Meri knew she would be getting some (flowers), not even Kody would be obtuse enough not to do so. Long-suffering Meri sat there as if it didn't matter to her one way or another and Kody, in a fit because Meri didn't display eagerness, lessened the presentation as much as possible by leaving it in the box.

[Kyanight]

2 hours ago, Phoebe70 said:

Kody's reaction to Mariah's engagement announcement? "Let's eat!  I'm starving!"  Dude couldn't even be bothered to get up from his recliner.

MAYBE because they had already broken up and only announced their engagement to hopefully boost their ratings - since there is nothing at all worth filming this season except discussion after discussion about "one house"?   

[Tabbygirl521]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

 

++++++++++++1,000,000.  It may have started with religion but that was just to hook TLC.  Kody is all about Kody.

He was giddy at the idea of having a shirt that says HOME IS WHERE THE WIVES ARE. 

And 🤮🤮🤮 about his saying that “the ladies” won’t have so much trouble with jealousy when they’re “all loved up” - then they can afford to be generous. UGH. 

[xwordfanatik]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

 

  Hide contents

 

Previously on Robyn’s World Sister Wives:

Kody pontificates about “his house.”  Robyn, in an Oscar-worthy performance, tells us that Kody is giving her “flippin’ whiplash.”  Christine breath-whispers, “we’re DROWN-dingk!”  Oh, the dramz.

Our episode begins as Kody, sporting a fresh “Toni” perm, gathers his wife and three former side-pieces to discuss that stupid house again.  Before Kody can begin, Robyn interrupts to let everyone know that her house – on the market for two weeks with a realtor NOT named Janelle Brown – already has an offer.  The other three women, whose homes have been up for sale for six months with nary a bite - pretend to be thrilled and amazed, but inside you know they’re all seething with rage.  Robyn has a talking head where she tries valiantly to work up some fake tears while she rhapsodizes that the sale of her house is the beginning of the end of the Vegas cul-de-sac.  Oh, shut up, Robyn.  Kody then pretends to fiddle with the knobs and switches on his computer in an effort to avoid eye contact with his women before beginning Prairie Plague Pretend Palace Presentation Part Deux.  He rambles on about how each wife’s turret or whatever has a door to his “loft.”  Christine, desperate for something positive to say, whispers that she likes the brick on the outside of the house.  Janelle, who is clearly on board with this house only because she knows it’s never going to happen, is positively giddy about moving back under one roof with her ex-brother-in-law and his wife, as well as Christine and that orange shrew quietly pouting in the corner of the couch.  Let me just pause to say: Janelle, you can shut up, too.  Gosh, and we’re only five minutes into this episode.  Time to top off my cheap merlot, BRB. 

Good thing I’ve got a refill, because here comes a segment about a door.  Yes, a DOOR.  Turns out that there are these crazy rules about building a multi-level palatial mansion in the woods in Flagstaff, AZ.  Apparently, there can only be one entry door if it’s going to be a single-family dwelling.  Makes sense, right?  But oh, the anguish!  The inhumanity!  Because in case you forgot for a hot second, this is a PLYG family.  Did you even know that?  So the one entry door is a problem, because what if the Kodester has a hot date with Christine?  Are the other wives supposed to stand there and high-five him on the way out the door?  This argument comes from Robyn, of course, because she has failed to shut up as I asked.  And here’s where I get rilly, rilly mad – I actually agree with Janelle on something.  Janelle points out that in Kody’s Dream House, the women will all have their own wings, so it’s highly unlikely that they would happen to be standing there as Kody escorts his lady-du-jour out the front door for a Big Mac and a matinee.  The only way this becomes a problem would be if the other women were hanging out in Kody’s common area (ew), or listening at the front door for the dating duo to return.  I hate that she’s correct about this.  Robyn says that she wouldn’t want to run into a wife post-date, and Janelle is like - but that wouldn’t happen!  Robyn says, what if we had a fight on our date night and we’re yelling when we walk in the common front door?  And Janelle says, if you can’t act like a lady and gentleman, then you deserve to be overheard!  This entire argument is one of the stupidest wastes of time I have ever seen on any reality show ever, and I used to watch Flavor of Love.  Then Robyn bloviates in an interview about how metal, when heated, can do one of two things – it can meld together or it can break apart.  I think this was supposed to be a poorly executed metaphor for her family…or perhaps she was talking about how she makes jool’ry for MSWC - in which case, if her jool’ry is breaking apart, it’s no wonder the business went under.  Also, shut up, Robyn.

Next, we move onto the subject of Valentine’s Day.  In case you forgot again, the Browns are plygs which makes Valentine’s Day very awkward because, you know, four wives and all.  Of course there’s always the option for the adults to simply not celebrate this particular holiday but what fun would that be when they can spend the holiday marinating under layers of heartbreak and jealousy?  Anywho, I guess that when Robyn entered the family, she declared that Valentine’s Day should be celebrated by gathering the whole clan for fondue, so that’s the new Brown family tradition!  Well, now I’m rilly looking forward to the next Brown Family Arbor Day, when Robyn does an interpretive dance wearing nothing but a few strategically-placed oak leaves.  Tradition!

The fam gathers at Robyn’s house (I think) for Family Fondue Night.  Axel toddles in, pacifier firmly in mouth, with Maddie behind him.  Kody hands out flowers to all his wives, and I find it so very Kody-esque that each time he hands a wife flowers, he coos, “Aren’t they pretty?  Aren’t these flowers so lovely?”  I mean – isn’t that kind of what the wife is supposed to say upon receiving said flowers?  But it has to be all about Kody, so he’s basically congratulating himself for his own flower choices.  What a tool.  But NOW for the fun part!  In case there are 0.00002 of you who think that Robyn doesn’t completely rule this family, once Kody hands Robyn her flowers, she puts on a display of giving Kody a hug and a kiss, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.  Interspersed with this is a couch session where Kody declares that polygamy kills romance and a discussion of how a plyg husband doesn’t show his wives affection in front of the others.  On the couch, three of the four wives giddily discuss how, if a certain wife is getting visits from lil’ Kody, then him showing another wife some affection is no big dill, but if there’s tension between Kody and a wife, witnessing affection towards another wife is going to hurt.  Robyn, Christine and even freakin’ Janelle go on and on about living plyg and physical affection but I fail to catch everything they’re saying because I can’t take my eyes off of Meri, who sits in her usual spot on the couch unmoving, unblinking, glaring at the camera, and most definitely not participating in this particular giggle-fest.  If looks could kill, there would be nothing alive within a 100-mile radius.  Robyn gets a solo talking head where she states that hey, her husband (HUSBAND, did you catch that?) bought her flowers and she felt like thanking him with a hug and kiss, so dammit, that’s exactly what she did, and everyone else can just dill with it.  It’s fascinating, really, the dynamics of these screwed-up adults pretending that they are actually one big happy family when we first get a discourse about how physical affection is taboo, but then Robyn decides it’s okay because she said so.  Also, SHUT!  UP!  RO!  BYN!!

FINALLY, the last merciful segment tells us that it’s Kody’s 51st birthday.  On the couch, he tells us that 50 is the new 35 because he believes he’s hotter and in better shape now than he’s ever been.  Robyn, Janelle and Christine coo and fuss over Kody’s sexy gray hair while Meri continues to appear to have been carved from a block of rare orange stone, so still and unmoving is she.  Once again, the family gathers at someone’s house – who the hell knows whose it is, these people move so often.  Christine is wearing a t-shirt that says “Home is Where Your Wives Are,” and hands out a shirt to all the wives for them to wear.  Christine then gives Kody a gift of pillows embroidered with that same stupid sentiment.  The embroidery lady sure made a killing when Christine walked through her door!  Suddenly, Pudge and Audge walk into the house!  Surprise!  No one knew they were coming, not even Meri!  Kody reads aloud a lavishly written birthday card about how wonderful he is, signed from his “adoring family.”  Mariah says, “from your growing family?”  Kody corrects her – “no, adoring family – unless you want it to grow?”  Mariah takes Audge’s hand, which is adorned with an engagement ring, and says, “I’d like it to grow by one!”  Much exaltations and hugs occur.  And once again, Meri had no idea!  And you all know just how much that has to grind her gears.  Pudge tells the fam how she proposed to Audge at the Women’s March, and that they will probably get married in three years, after Pudge finishes school (snicker).  Upset that he’s no longer in the spotlight on his birthday, Kody decries that three years is ridiculous, school is ridiculous, and these two are ridiculous for not wanting to get married within his proscribed 6 to 9 month ideal.  On the couch, Meri finally perks up because for once, they are talking about something that she can participate in.  Kody says that because he basically married his wives within 15 minutes of meeting them, he thinks three years is far too long to wait.  Because when it’s not all about Robyn, it’s all about Kody.  Have I told Kody to shut up yet?  I can’t remember.  But he should.

Finally, back at Kody’s birthday party, we come to the end of this episode with a weird segment of Maddie yelling to everyone that she needs help unloading her trailer, because Caleb has already moved to North Carolina and Maddie had to move from Vegas but is going to stay in Flagstaff for a few weeks to keep packing up her Vegas house before she heads to NC.  Did you follow that?  Me neither.  But now we know exactly why Janelle couldn’t unload those houses – she was pretending to play Real Estate Agent when what she was probably doing was visiting Axel in Vegas and feeding him canned cabbage.

Bottoms up!

 

Hope y'all got some strong coffee for this one.

 

Thank you for a good laugh!  I especially like the canned cabbage reference.  

Poor Kootie, being upstaged by SludgePudge!  😛

[Kyanight]

3 hours ago, laurakaye said:

This entire argument is one of the stupidest wastes of time I have ever seen on any reality show ever, and I used to watch Flavor of Love.  Then Robyn bloviates in an interview about how metal, when heated, can do one of two things – it can meld together or it can break apart.  I think this was supposed to be a poorly executed metaphor for her family…or perhaps she was talking about how she makes jool’ry for MSWC - in which case, if her jool’ry is breaking apart, it’s no wonder the business went under.  Also, shut up, Robyn.

I laughed throughout this ENTIRE recap.  I have too many favorite parts to copy and paste - I would have to highlight the entire post.    But I can't believe no one has mentioned Robyn's STUPID comments about the metal.  Cringe-worthy.

[Roslyn]

22 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

It's a mini-series based on the novel Jane Austen was writing when she died.  It was SUPPOSED to be the first season, but it didn't have a huge viewing audience in the U.K. so unless it does great in the U.S. - it's cancelled.  It's VERY good if you like shows like that.  Kohola is watching it so we've been discussing it in messages.  No one on this board would care.  ALTHOUGH - it's better than watching paint dry - which is what this season of Sister Wives equates to.

OOO! I looked this up and it is right up my alley!!  I've got it bookmarked to watch when it's knitting time 😀

[Kyanight]

9 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

it has to be all about Kody, so he’s basically congratulating himself for his own flower choices.  What a tool.  But NOW for the fun part!  In case there are 0.00002 of you who think that Robyn doesn’t completely rule this family

HA HA HA HA HA!!   That was so blatantly rude how she does whatever she pleases and the rest of the family can stuff it.  Oh and the fondue - there is nothing QUITE so fun as having oil popping all over your hands when you are a kid - and having to wait 5 minutes between every BITE of food!   I could see it for adults - but they DO have an entire elementary school full of kids at their family dinners!  

Just now, Roslyn said:

OOO! I looked this up and it is right up my alley!!  I've got it bookmarked to watch when it's knitting time 😀

I know this is so off-topic but I can't help it - it's SOOO GOOD!!  I bought it on Amazon.  I see it's for sale on Ebay, but it seems kind of pricey.  You will love it!!  After you watch some of it, send Kohola and I a message - I guarantee you, it's discussion worthy!!

[absolutelyido]

20 hours ago, deirdra said:

Some fathers buy Valentine flowers for their daughters, but Kootie would never think of that.  

I'm not a fan of cut (dead) flowers - withering is not a good sign for a marriage.

I wouldn't normally defend Kody, but they showed him holding a bunch of small purple gift bags, and on the couch he said he bought gift bags for all his kids.

[mrs ra]

Meri takes offense at ANY slight. Did you notice that when the engagement was announced, one of the other wives asked “When is the wedding?”  Meri immediately was all hurt and blurted out “I wanted to ask that!!!”

[smarty]

I looked it up and Mariah and Audrey got engaged at the rally on January 16th.  Kody's birthday is January 17th.  I'm pretty sure they did not have Kody's birthday party on his actual birthday because Mariah and Audrey wouldnt have made it there.

[Kyanight]

8 minutes ago, mrs ra said:

Meri takes offense at ANY slight. Did you notice that when the engagement was announced, one of the other wives asked “When is the wedding?”  Meri immediately was all hurt and blurted out “I wanted to ask that!!!”

::::head pats Meri:::::   Relax, my little oompah loompah.  This wedding is never.  But there will be other girls for Mariah.

[b2H]

12 hours ago, DaphneCat said:

And when he gave out the flowers, Kody was like "Meri, I HAD to buy you these, but you'll notice I didn't even bother taking them out of the box."

It may already have been mentioned, but I thought I heard him say that to her, along with something about having to transport them and keeping them in the box would make that easier?????

[VedaPierce]

I chuckled at Maddie piggybacking onto Mariah’s engagement announcement with one of her own, “yeah! I have a big announcement too!! I’m gonna be sleeping at my mom’s house for, like, one or two or three weeks!”... lol. Shady. She must still hate Meri. 

[Cherry Cola]

12 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I think Kody was pissed that they “ruined” his self-centered birthday with their announcement. 
besides, this is such old news.  Blah. 

Bingo!  I think that is what it was.  He may not agree with the lifestyle, and that is perfectly ok. I am just glad he didn't shun her from family. We all deserve unconditional love. 

Anyway, How did Kody and Janelle have kids? I see no attraction there. Hard to imagine them being intimate. 😄

[VedaPierce]

OF COURSE Kody wants one of those stupid shirts that say “home is where the wives are” to wear around town. Of course he does. 

[ElderPrice]

11 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Why the hell cant they have additional individual entrances? Most houses have more than one door, and huge houses SHOULD have multiple entrances for safety reasons alone. 

Additional entrances aren’t the problem, PRIVATE entrances are. A private entrance is proof of multiple dwellings, which would be illegal. And I don’t think Meri was joking when she suggested private elevators to each private suite. Holy crap. These people talk as if they just found out about polygamy yesterday instead of being in the lifestyle for THEIR WHOLE LIVES. “What if a wife sees another wife with the husband? OMG!!” Bitch you signed up for this, literally, so spare me the vapors. 

[Palomar]

How much would this proposed house cost to build?  As others have pointed out, it would be hard to resell and this family does not seem to stay in one place long.  Plus the maintenance of such a house would cost a LOT.  This vs the cost of building 4 houses on the property with the independence the wives have slowly acquired at stake.  

[VedaPierce]

12 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

He's in this lifestyle because he is a horn dog and did you know he has 4 wives!! Four!! He's just after the booty calls.

I don’t even think it’s that. Kody always seemed like a prude to me. And almost asexual. I think he did all this strictly for the attention. He loves to go around telling strangers that he has 4 wives. That’s why he wanted one of the t shirts. He needs people to know this about him. One woman cannot give him all the attention he needs. He’s a black hole of need. 

[Dmarie019]

12 hours ago, Lady of nod said:

And Meri could not be more checked out of this. She doesn't even have an opinion anymore. Cody has shut her out for her imaginary boyfriend while he's sleeping with 4 women ( well maybe only 2) Such misogynist hypocrisy. 

I was kinda surprised she showed a little bit of actual interest of them living in one house. Even a no reaction seems like a shock but also a smart idea on her part. She seems to be ok with whatever they all choose. 

7 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

Of course Janelle loved Lehi and the one house. She went to work all day and came home to her kids fed and cared for by Christine and Logan. The one house is nothing but a plot device for this season. They are never building it. Meri is so over this whole thing. 

But then wasn't Janelle the one that actually left the family for a little bit when they were in Lehi? But now she thinks it's a super wonderful thing?? And now christine hates it... these people are confusing.... 

6 hours ago, ErikaOnline said:

Meri seemed uncomfortable and very unhappy at certain points on the couch I noticed. Robyn is very affectionate with Kody in front of the other ladies. She doesn’t seem like she would be a “sweet” person haha. It’s so funny to me how Janelle doesn’t seem to care at times about Kody and her lol. I love it 

Probably because her and Kody don't have a relationship like the other wives. Which is pretty much all her fault but she seems to be trying and Kody doesnt give 2 shits about her anymore so I could see where hearing about him being affectionate with the other wives would be uncomfortable.  She doesn't even get to share in that. 

 

3 hours ago, Kyanight said:

But remember.... just because they pretended it was Kody's birthday doesn't mean that the camera crew actually came on THAT exact day.  And SINCE the camera crew was going to be filming - that is why they had Mariah and Audrey fly out to Arizona to announce their big news.  I think that the entire family already KNEW what the "big news" was, and it's possible that they celebrated Kody's birthday privately on his special day and then re-gifted the bicycle and pretended that it was his birthday for the viewing audience.  After all, they are running out of newsworthy stuff to film.

I'm trying to figure out how the family didn't know when they did the engagement publicly and it was probably posted to social media instantly. 

46 minutes ago, mrs ra said:

Meri takes offense at ANY slight. Did you notice that when the engagement was announced, one of the other wives asked “When is the wedding?”  Meri immediately was all hurt and blurted out “I wanted to ask that!!!”

well i do feel bad for her that Audrey couldn't even find the common decency to tell her own mother first.  It's her only child AND it's pretty big news.  

[VedaPierce]

13 hours ago, DaphneCat said:

 

I think he's more pissed that they would dare to live together and it's acknowledged on the show.  That's why he kept pushing them to hurry up the wedding.  Wanted them to "make it legal."

He’s pushing for a wedding because it would be a new storyline for next season. It all but guarantees it. All kody saw were dollar signs during that announcement. 

Edited February 10, 2020 by VedaPierce

[DakotaJustice]

6 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

He’s pushing for a wedding because it would be a new storyline for next season. It all but guarantees it. All kody saw was dollar signs during that announcement. 

Maybe Mariah said three years to have time to negotiate with TLC for the big bucks. 

Or maybe in the back of her mind she isn't 100% on board with tying the knot with the first person she's ever dated. I bet she gets a lot of attention from other women in the LBGT community. I just have seen way too many insta story shots where Audrey is walking a couple steps behind Mariah like a 19th century wife, rather than as equals. That can get old no matter what your sexual persuasion. 

Edited February 10, 2020 by DakotaJustice

[ElderPrice]

3 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

Kody always seemed like a prude to me. And almost asexual.

A gentle request. Please don’t use the words “asexual” and “prude” together. “Prude” is a rude, dismissive word. Asexuals don’t feel sexual attraction. It’s an orientation, like being straight or gay. And it has nothing to do with trauma. It just is and we’re born this way, it’s not a choice. The more you know. 
Anyway, based on the eleventy million kids that Kody made I don’t think that he was ever lacking in having sex. Ew. 

[VedaPierce]

4 hours ago, laurakaye said:

 

  Reveal spoiler

 

Previously on Robyn’s World Sister Wives:

Kody pontificates about “his house.”  Robyn, in an Oscar-worthy performance, tells us that Kody is giving her “flippin’ whiplash.”  Christine breath-whispers, “we’re DROWN-dingk!”  Oh, the dramz.

Our episode begins as Kody, sporting a fresh “Toni” perm, gathers his wife and three former side-pieces to discuss that stupid house again.  Before Kody can begin, Robyn interrupts to let everyone know that her house – on the market for two weeks with a realtor NOT named Janelle Brown – already has an offer.  The other three women, whose homes have been up for sale for six months with nary a bite - pretend to be thrilled and amazed, but inside you know they’re all seething with rage.  Robyn has a talking head where she tries valiantly to work up some fake tears while she rhapsodizes that the sale of her house is the beginning of the end of the Vegas cul-de-sac.  Oh, shut up, Robyn.  Kody then pretends to fiddle with the knobs and switches on his computer in an effort to avoid eye contact with his women before beginning Prairie Plague Pretend Palace Presentation Part Deux.  He rambles on about how each wife’s turret or whatever has a door to his “loft.”  Christine, desperate for something positive to say, whispers that she likes the brick on the outside of the house.  Janelle, who is clearly on board with this house only because she knows it’s never going to happen, is positively giddy about moving back under one roof with her ex-brother-in-law and his wife, as well as Christine and that orange shrew quietly pouting in the corner of the couch.  Let me just pause to say: Janelle, you can shut up, too.  Gosh, and we’re only five minutes into this episode.  Time to top off my cheap merlot, BRB. 

Good thing I’ve got a refill, because here comes a segment about a door.  Yes, a DOOR.  Turns out that there are these crazy rules about building a multi-level palatial mansion in the woods in Flagstaff, AZ.  Apparently, there can only be one entry door if it’s going to be a single-family dwelling.  Makes sense, right?  But oh, the anguish!  The inhumanity!  Because in case you forgot for a hot second, this is a PLYG family.  Did you even know that?  So the one entry door is a problem, because what if the Kodester has a hot date with Christine?  Are the other wives supposed to stand there and high-five him on the way out the door?  This argument comes from Robyn, of course, because she has failed to shut up as I asked.  And here’s where I get rilly, rilly mad – I actually agree with Janelle on something.  Janelle points out that in Kody’s Dream House, the women will all have their own wings, so it’s highly unlikely that they would happen to be standing there as Kody escorts his lady-du-jour out the front door for a Big Mac and a matinee.  The only way this becomes a problem would be if the other women were hanging out in Kody’s common area (ew), or listening at the front door for the dating duo to return.  I hate that she’s correct about this.  Robyn says that she wouldn’t want to run into a wife post-date, and Janelle is like - but that wouldn’t happen!  Robyn says, what if we had a fight on our date night and we’re yelling when we walk in the common front door?  And Janelle says, if you can’t act like a lady and gentleman, then you deserve to be overheard!  This entire argument is one of the stupidest wastes of time I have ever seen on any reality show ever, and I used to watch Flavor of Love.  Then Robyn bloviates in an interview about how metal, when heated, can do one of two things – it can meld together or it can break apart.  I think this was supposed to be a poorly executed metaphor for her family…or perhaps she was talking about how she makes jool’ry for MSWC - in which case, if her jool’ry is breaking apart, it’s no wonder the business went under.  Also, shut up, Robyn.

Next, we move onto the subject of Valentine’s Day.  In case you forgot again, the Browns are plygs which makes Valentine’s Day very awkward because, you know, four wives and all.  Of course there’s always the option for the adults to simply not celebrate this particular holiday but what fun would that be when they can spend the holiday marinating under layers of heartbreak and jealousy?  Anywho, I guess that when Robyn entered the family, she declared that Valentine’s Day should be celebrated by gathering the whole clan for fondue, so that’s the new Brown family tradition!  Well, now I’m rilly looking forward to the next Brown Family Arbor Day, when Robyn does an interpretive dance wearing nothing but a few strategically-placed oak leaves.  Tradition!

The fam gathers at Robyn’s house (I think) for Family Fondue Night.  Axel toddles in, pacifier firmly in mouth, with Maddie behind him.  Kody hands out flowers to all his wives, and I find it so very Kody-esque that each time he hands a wife flowers, he coos, “Aren’t they pretty?  Aren’t these flowers so lovely?”  I mean – isn’t that kind of what the wife is supposed to say upon receiving said flowers?  But it has to be all about Kody, so he’s basically congratulating himself for his own flower choices.  What a tool.  But NOW for the fun part!  In case there are 0.00002 of you who think that Robyn doesn’t completely rule this family, once Kody hands Robyn her flowers, she puts on a display of giving Kody a hug and a kiss, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.  Interspersed with this is a couch session where Kody declares that polygamy kills romance and a discussion of how a plyg husband doesn’t show his wives affection in front of the others.  On the couch, three of the four wives giddily discuss how, if a certain wife is getting visits from lil’ Kody, then him showing another wife some affection is no big dill, but if there’s tension between Kody and a wife, witnessing affection towards another wife is going to hurt.  Robyn, Christine and even freakin’ Janelle go on and on about living plyg and physical affection but I fail to catch everything they’re saying because I can’t take my eyes off of Meri, who sits in her usual spot on the couch unmoving, unblinking, glaring at the camera, and most definitely not participating in this particular giggle-fest.  If looks could kill, there would be nothing alive within a 100-mile radius.  Robyn gets a solo talking head where she states that hey, her husband (HUSBAND, did you catch that?) bought her flowers and she felt like thanking him with a hug and kiss, so dammit, that’s exactly what she did, and everyone else can just dill with it.  It’s fascinating, really, the dynamics of these screwed-up adults pretending that they are actually one big happy family when we first get a discourse about how physical affection is taboo, but then Robyn decides it’s okay because she said so.  Also, SHUT!  UP!  RO!  BYN!!

FINALLY, the last merciful segment tells us that it’s Kody’s 51st birthday.  On the couch, he tells us that 50 is the new 35 because he believes he’s hotter and in better shape now than he’s ever been.  Robyn, Janelle and Christine coo and fuss over Kody’s sexy gray hair while Meri continues to appear to have been carved from a block of rare orange stone, so still and unmoving is she.  Once again, the family gathers at someone’s house – who the hell knows whose it is, these people move so often.  Christine is wearing a t-shirt that says “Home is Where Your Wives Are,” and hands out a shirt to all the wives for them to wear.  Christine then gives Kody a gift of pillows embroidered with that same stupid sentiment.  The embroidery lady sure made a killing when Christine walked through her door!  Suddenly, Pudge and Audge walk into the house!  Surprise!  No one knew they were coming, not even Meri!  Kody reads aloud a lavishly written birthday card about how wonderful he is, signed from his “adoring family.”  Mariah says, “from your growing family?”  Kody corrects her – “no, adoring family – unless you want it to grow?”  Mariah takes Audge’s hand, which is adorned with an engagement ring, and says, “I’d like it to grow by one!”  Much exaltations and hugs occur.  And once again, Meri had no idea!  And you all know just how much that has to grind her gears.  Pudge tells the fam how she proposed to Audge at the Women’s March, and that they will probably get married in three years, after Pudge finishes school (snicker).  Upset that he’s no longer in the spotlight on his birthday, Kody decries that three years is ridiculous, school is ridiculous, and these two are ridiculous for not wanting to get married within his proscribed 6 to 9 month ideal.  On the couch, Meri finally perks up because for once, they are talking about something that she can participate in.  Kody says that because he basically married his wives within 15 minutes of meeting them, he thinks three years is far too long to wait.  Because when it’s not all about Robyn, it’s all about Kody.  Have I told Kody to shut up yet?  I can’t remember.  But he should.

Finally, back at Kody’s birthday party, we come to the end of this episode with a weird segment of Maddie yelling to everyone that she needs help unloading her trailer, because Caleb has already moved to North Carolina and Maddie had to move from Vegas but is going to stay in Flagstaff for a few weeks to keep packing up her Vegas house before she heads to NC.  Did you follow that?  Me neither.  But now we know exactly why Janelle couldn’t unload those houses – she was pretending to play Real Estate Agent when what she was probably doing was visiting Axel in Vegas and feeding him canned cabbage.

Bottoms up!

 

Hope y'all got some strong coffee for this one.

 

So good!

[Kohola3]

18 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

Maybe Mariah said three years to have time to negotiate with TLC for the big bucks. 

One whole season of dress shopping, cake tastings, and selecting a venue? Fuggedaboutit, it's all been done - twice.  Just because it's a gay wedding doesn't make it any different other than white sneakers being the dress code.

[VedaPierce]

2 hours ago, Sandy W said:

The show is stretched so thin for story line now, they are making an issue out of every little nuance.  For those that are Meri supporters, this business of leaving her vase in the box becomes a 'slight' against Meri.  It could have been something as simple as he considered that the other 2 wives that had to transport them had a child with them that could carry them on their lap. 

Nah, I'm giving Kody too much credit here for thinking 'inside the box', he was probably pizzed at Meri because she pretended to be engrossed in conversation with Aspyn? as he approached her from behind with the arrangement.  Meri knew she would be getting some (flowers), not even Kody would be obtuse enough not to do so. Long-suffering Meri sat there as if it didn't matter to her one way or another and Kody, in a fit because Meri didn't display eagerness, lessened the presentation as much as possible by leaving it in the box.

Good catch! I caught that too but forgot! She was TOTALLY pretending that she didn’t hear him calling her. Probably wanted to make him call her name repeatedly. This is all she has left now. 

[CalicoKitty]

@laurakaye, excellent recap.  Thanks.

[aimlessbird]

7 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

One whole season of dress shopping, cake tastings, and selecting a venue? Fuggedaboutit, it's all been done - twice.  Just because it's a gay wedding doesn't make it any different other than white sneakers being the dress code.

Don't forget rainbows.  Mariah and Audrey are obnoxious with their love and use of rainbows.

[Sandy W]

4 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

One whole season of dress shopping, cake tastings, and selecting a venue? Fuggedaboutit, it's all been done - twice.  Just because it's a gay wedding doesn't make it any different other than white sneakers being the dress code.

It will be the ultimate devastation of Meri if Mariah and Auj don't put Meri in total command of the wedding planning.  She will no doubt be paying for all of it and the wedding will have to exceed any that have gone before.

One of Meri's finest hours was when Maddie let Meri be in charge of the order of procession for her wedding party.  Meri raced up and down the line of attendants, wearing her sensible wedgies, with clipboard in hand, shouting commands as if her hair was on fire.

 

[LoneWolf]

12 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Three wives listening and commenting while Meri was turned toward the camera crew with her nasty smirk!

She exhausts me!!!

Oh, I don't know, I think it's a kind of self deprecating humour. 
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2F6xWQt3NF9VqBW%2Fgiphy.gif&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fgiphy.com%2Fexplore%2Fjim-kerr&tbnid=n1ZFVS7oZZyQdM&vet=12ahUKEwjQuMnpzcfnAhWGJ80KHRNbDeEQMygsegUIARCtAg..i&docid=Jwdai3NN3CPT4M&w=245&h=217&q=jim halpert smirk gif&hl=en-gb&client=safari&ved=2ahUKEwjQuMnpzcfnAhWGJ80KHRNbDeEQMygsegUIARCtAg
 

Edited February 10, 2020 by LoneWolf
Addition

[Kohola3]

2 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

She will no doubt be paying for all of it and the wedding will have to exceed any that have gone before.

I maintain that there will never, ever be a wedding.  Sludge has virtually disappeared from Pudge's SM postings except for an occasional shout-out.  I'm thinking Sludge has had it with Snowflake's narcissitic blathering.  Plus there's those stinky feet.

[deirdra]

2 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

And 🤮🤮🤮 about his saying that “the ladies” won’t have so much trouble with jealousy when they’re “all loved up” - then they can afford to be generous. UGH. 

But right now none of the wives seem to feel “all loved up” and it is all Kootie's fault!

[VedaPierce]

Want to share a new podcast I found:

Surviving Sister Wives. They are recapping this train wreck every week now! I think they are up to this episode. 

[laurakaye]

18 minutes ago, aimlessbird said:

Don't forget rainbows.  Mariah and Audrey are obnoxious with their love and use of rainbows.

*stomps foot*  I WANT A WEDDINGK!  Come on, can you imagine this?  The ceremony will be held deep in the woods, amongst nature and ticks.  As Pudge walks down the aisle wearing XS white yoga pants and a flannel shirt sans bra, she will pause and do a down-dog before meeting up with Audge.  Their dogs will carry their wedding rings.  All attendees must wear at least one rainbow-colored item of clothing or be barred from the event.  The reception feast will take place in an abandoned yoga studio in a sketchy part of town and consist of vats of coffee, vegan hot dogs, and calorie-laden potato-based breakfast casseroles.  Every one of Pudge's sisters will be bridesmaids except Savannah.  Van Lady Love will perform.  

I mean, this has the potential to be perhaps the most snark-worthy episode in this show's history.  And that's saying somethingk.  

Edited February 10, 2020 by laurakaye

[deirdra]

21 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

One whole season of dress shopping, cake tastings, and selecting a venue? Fuggedaboutit, it's all been done - twice.  Just because it's a gay wedding doesn't make it any different other than white sneakers being the dress code.

We've endured three weddings (Maddie's, Myketi's & Aspyn's) and the last one seemed pretty gay, with Kootie & Mitch in kilts and Kootie making a big dill about what is under them.

[Grifter Lives]

55 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

Maybe Mariah said three years to have time to negotiate with TLC for the big bucks. 

They're already 1.25 years into the engagement.  We just suffered through the Browns 2018 Christmas and 2019 Valentine's Day.  I just hope that doesn't imply that we've got 2 or 3 more seasons of this show.  

[NotinKansasanymore]

So last episode Robyn was all mad because she felt that they were not making decisions about the Las Vegas homes as a family, and they bought those homes as a family and should make the pricing and negotiations as a family.

Cue to the next episode when she walks in to tell the other sister wives that she and her agent countered and the buyers accepted and she should close within a month.

So when she wasn’t in control she cries it’s a family decision, but when it came to her own house she and her realtor made all the decisions.

[Adeejay]

3 hours ago, mrs ra said:

Meri takes offense at ANY slight. Did you notice that when the engagement was announced, one of the other wives asked “When is the wedding?”  Meri immediately was all hurt and blurted out “I wanted to ask that!!!”

It was Christine. Meri's exact words were, "I am supposed to ask that."  It seemed like such an innocent question that I was surprised at her aggressive response.  She also asked, "why am I just now finding this out?" They would have us believe that they are a happy, united "blended" family, but when it comes to the children, they place quite an emphasis on "yours and mine."

[Galloway Cave]

2 hours ago, Palomar said:

How much would this proposed house cost to build?

Site built homes can cost as little as $100/SF up to $300/SF. Their home will be huge, have multiple sound-proof walls, three levels including  a parking garage, and (knowing these selfish cows) high-end appliances and light fixtures. Everything in the house will be rolled into the mortgage. Add in the cost of running all utilities and creating a septic system/leech field that can support that size house.  Finally, there is landscaping, driveway and possible fencing.

They are definitely looking at $300+ per square foot. I can't remember how big this monstrosity is, so someone else will have to do the math.

Janelle left  the family before Lehi. Kodouche begged her to come back to them when he found  the Lehi house and needed Janelle's money and credit rating for purchase.

[Kohola3]

46 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

She also asked, "why am I just now finding this out?"

I call total BS on this.  Snowflake has that posted all over social media, no way Meri didn't know.  It's all manufactured drama for the show.