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S10.E10: Grandma Duggar Remembered


Sew Sumi
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I don't quite understand a family viewing at which the family gets up at speaks. That's new to me.

I am quite impressed that Kendra and the family didn't raise hell when she was told she had to wait for the doctor.  I have never heard of that before. I have no idea when the doctor arrived when I had Baby Ponga, but I started pushing before the doctor arrived and after 5 pushes Baby Ponga was born and the doctor had arrived. Baby Ponga was fast.

I am not a Lauren fan, but that poor girl! Her labour looked awful, and the fact she had two epidurals and neither worked...I do feel badly for her. Pretty sure that won't last long, though.

Any idea when the next season is supposed to be? I guess that's when we'll get the loss of Joy's baby? That seems like a strange thing to basically start a season with.

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22 hours ago, seasons said:

Not a Michelle fan by any stretch, but I've got to say -  she seems so calm, reassuring and comforting to Lauren for all those hours. I wish she was with me during the birth of my son, and i had a c section! 

Michelle was a good replacement for Lauren's very aggressive mother, who sounded like a drill sergeant while calling out when and how Lauren should breathe.  

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3 hours ago, Pingaponga said:

Any idea when the next season is supposed to be? I guess that's when we'll get the loss of Joy's baby? That seems like a strange thing to basically start a season with.

I was hoping they would have a chyron at the end saying what happened to Joy's pregnancy to spare her and us having to go through it next season. Nope.

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Was Lauren's mother on-screen long enough for anyone to guess whether or not she's pregnant?  

As for Michelle, I guess she could be useful, but I haven't forgotten her talking Jessa out of going to the hospital with Spurgeon. 

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9 hours ago, jcbrown said:

I was hoping they would have a chyron at the end saying what happened to Joy's pregnancy to spare her and us having to go through it next season. Nope.

I agree.  That would have been the best way to do it IMO.  If the next season is in the Spring, that will be almost a year since she miscarried.  Wasn't it in June, after Grandma's death?   Good grief,  Joy could be pregnant again when the new season starts.

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23 hours ago, Maya said:

I know everyone grieves differently, but it honestly seemed like Michele only started crying when she noticed other people crying. 

 

I in no way want to defend Michelle, but when my mother in law died I cried on and off, but what made me sob like no other was when my husband cried.  I was sad on my own that she was gone, but seeing this man who I love in such pain is what really caused me to lose it.  Of course, I don't have 20 years of performing for cameras informing my behavior, so...

Also, one thing that really pointed out their paternalistic bullshit was that when Jim Bob called Michelle to tell her about Mary, he told her to go get one of the older boys.  I forget the exact wording, and won't rewatch, but it was something along the lines of "get an older boy, they won't cry and will be strong for all you soft women and children types."  No wonder Jed at the funeral just kind of tapped Jackson's shoulder.  He's been trained that his job is to be tough for everyone else.  Frankly, Jackson is probably "too old" for that emotion in their world.  

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Who to hate more?

The Duggars? Or, TLC?

I personally found most of this double episode to be disturbing. TLC, I assume with Duggar approval, went straight for the gut on this show. There is a way, with humility and respect, to honor the passing of a loved one on TV. TLC did not do it that way. To show, over and over again the gut wrenching emotions during what I consider to be a rather private time, is a little bit horrible to me.  I don't care if the family gathering pre-funeral was for TV only and therefore scripted and directed. Watching those kids so heartbroken at the loss of Grandma teared me up many times over.

And the purpose of filming (and agreeing to be filmed) not one, but two very difficult labors was what? The all mighty dollar? Aren't these people supposed to be humble. Oh, pardon me while I laugh my ass off. Show me birth highlights if you must, and I would love an after birth picture, but for all that is holy, give yourselves a little privacy and practice the fucking modesty you supposedly believe in.  I find it crazy voyeuristic to peep in at people during there most vulnerable times. 

Also. Kendra's mom. SPIT OUT THE FUCKING GUM. OMG. Made me nuts. (admittedly, doesn't take much.😊). 

Also. Poor Jana. Stuck in the photo shoot on the outside perimeter. Wrong.

Also. Jessa. I thought she spoke quite nicely at the funeral and looked lovely.

Also. Ben. Thanks for being there to support your wife. Good job.

Also. Jinger. You're hair looks like shit. Poser Influencer. I don't like you. And final also, jeremy. Someone gag him and take him away.

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1 hour ago, Fig Newton said:

 

Also. Jinger. You're hair looks like shit. Poser Influencer. I don't like you. And final also, jeremy. Someone gag him and take him away.

Yeah - I wonder if Jinger was supposed to do some home treatment-care (ie use a special shampoo/conditioner, etc) or was to go back to the salon just to have her do a re-touch/follow-up and got busy with the move and then the passing. 

How long will Jeremy be in school in LA for ? and for what exactly - Is he getting a Masters in Divinity degree ?

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14 hours ago, Pasha Kitty said:

Michelle was a good replacement for Lauren's very aggressive mother, who sounded like a drill sergeant while calling out when and how Lauren should breathe.  

 

14 hours ago, Pasha Kitty said:

Lauren's mother was only shown in that brief clip while drilling Lauren on how to breathe.  Her name (Lana) was shown on the screen.  I didn't see her on air after that, so maybe she left - and Michelle took over.  

I can see it being very emotional seeing your baby, give birth to her labor, with via a long and difficult labor. I'm glad she was there though...at least she tried.. maybe she will be better on the subsequent births..

And michelle stepped in after, it was needed for her to step in.

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On 12/18/2019 at 3:20 PM, Maya said:

I know everyone grieves differently, but it honestly seemed like Michele only started crying when she noticed other people crying.

Did you notice when Michelle and Jinger were at the funeral home, Jinger was crying,Michelle got a tissue and started dabbing at her eyes? No tears? What’s the point in faking it honestly.

This episode was so sad btw I was in tears (more tears than Michelle could muster and I didn’t even know the woman) Those poor kids some things shouldn’t be on tv but of course JB wants the money so who cares if he’s exploiting the children. RIP Grandma Mary, I hope you’re in a better place. 

Edited by PuffinFizz
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Aging Baby Boomer here. OK, let's face it, the Duggars are weird, but there are families who just are not very demonstrative.  I come from one.

Honestly, I think the Duggars are kind of a throw-back to the repressive 1950's.  I don't remember getting a lot of physical affection from my parents.  I'm not complaining, just stating a fact.  

And re hugging, comforting when in grief.  I believe in the 50's most boys were discouraged from showing their emotions.  My husband has told me he was told by his parents that boys do not cry.  Can you imagine?  I just think the Duggars are going by that playbook, probably to an extreme.

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17 minutes ago, debbie311 said:

Aging Baby Boomer here. OK, let's face it, the Duggars are weird, but there are families who just are not very demonstrative.  I come from one.

Honestly, I think the Duggars are kind of a throw-back to the repressive 1950's.  I don't remember getting a lot of physical affection from my parents.  I'm not complaining, just stating a fact.  

And re hugging, comforting when in grief.  I believe in the 50's most boys were discouraged from showing their emotions.  My husband has told me he was told by his parents that boys do not cry.  Can you imagine?  I just think the Duggars are going by that playbook, probably to an extreme.

I’m a millennial who’s just not physically affectionate. There’s nothing wrong with being that way, but that’s not me. I thought the boys were very comforting of each other during the viewing. Just because people are holding each other doesn’t mean the support isn’t there. When Jed put his hand on Joe’s shoulder I thought it was out of love. 
 

As an adult I don’t expect anyone (even my mom who’s my favorite person ever) to physically HOLD ME when I’m sad, I’d find it suffocating honestly. 

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28 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

Why do such a drastic change to your hair in Laredo when you're about to live in LA, where I'm sure the availability of top notch salons is much more plentiful?  

If I had to guess, I'd say the producers knew high-end L.A. salons would laugh in their faces if asked to do a freebie on a Duggar. 

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10 hours ago, Fig Newton said:

Also. Jinger. You're hair looks like shit. Poser Influencer.

When you go from very dark hair to blonde you have to do regular deep conditioning treatments if you don't want your hair to dry out and look a damaged mess. I hope she's doing that. I wonder what made her want to go so light. Maybe Jer prefers blondes. 

Are we going to see the birth of every single baby? Please, no. Why are these girls agreeing to do this? I can see doing a home video and keeping it for yourself but why in the heck would they want the world to see this? 

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2 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

When you go from very dark hair to blonde you have to do regular deep conditioning treatments if you don't want your hair to dry out and look a damaged mess. I hope she's doing that. I wonder what made her want to go so light. Maybe Jer prefers blondes. 

Are we going to see the birth of every single baby? Please, no. Why are these girls agreeing to do this? I can see doing a home video and keeping it for yourself but why in the heck would they want the world to see this? 

$$$$$$$

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4 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

When you go from very dark hair to blonde you have to do regular deep conditioning treatments if you don't want your hair to dry out and look a damaged mess. I hope she's doing that. I wonder what made her want to go so light. Maybe Jer prefers blondes. 

Are we going to see the birth of every single baby? Please, no. Why are these girls agreeing to do this? I can see doing a home video and keeping it for yourself but why in the heck would they want the world to see this? 

I've already seen both birth specials for Kendra and Lauren.  Did they show anything new?

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15 hours ago, BitterApple said:

If I had to guess, I'd say the producers knew high-end L.A. salons would laugh in their faces if asked to do a freebie on a Duggar. 

I bet there are some that would have done it for the TV exposure.  Initially the move to LA ramped up the freebie grab in a pretty big way. 

14 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

Season finale and no pregnancy or courtship announcement?

We sure that these are the Duggars?

JB did let us know that there is likely "something cooking".   We'll all have to tune back in to find out what.

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From the birth specials, I was surprised that both Kendra and Lauren still had their jewelry on. They had me take all my jewelry off when I checked into the hospital in case I had swelling or needed an emergency C-section. 

Lauren's birth seemed absolutely miserable. My daughter was sunny side up too, and took FOREVER to come down. My epidural was also questionable, although not bad enough to have them retry it, the nurse's were surprised that I hopped right out of bed and walked to the gurney when we were changing rooms a few minutes after giving birth.

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I "labored" through this episode and for one small minute had a bit of empathy/sympathy for Lauren.  She did not have her haughty look and breathy voice on and Josiah played the part of a caring husband very well.  Who knows, maybe he is.  

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I watched this OnDemand, and am wondering, did the controversial lesbian Zola commercial air several times during the episode when it aired? Or did they only tack it on the OnDemand version. It played during pretty much every break, and I was shocked, but delighted. 

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On 12/21/2019 at 6:18 PM, absnow54 said:

I watched this OnDemand, and am wondering, did the controversial lesbian Zola commercial air several times during the episode when it aired? Or did they only tack it on the OnDemand version. It played during pretty much every break, and I was shocked, but delighted. 

I think I saw it at least once during the episode.

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Poor Lauren looked exhausted and desperate! Watching the birth gave me flashbacks to three of mine, when the epidural didn't work. The first birth, they redosed me and it worked. Second birth, it never worked. After redosing several times, they gave me a spinal block that worked after 30 mins. Last birth, it never worked and even after redosing again and again, I ended up feeling the whole birth. The anesthesiologist told me some people just have something different about their back that doesn't allow the epidural to work properly. Guess I'm one of those lucky people! 🤷🏻

It looked like maybe they finally got the epidural working by the time Lauren was pushing, so that's good.

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On 12/19/2019 at 8:12 PM, bichonblitz said:

 

Are we going to see the birth of every single baby? Please, no. Why are these girls agreeing to do this? I can see doing a home video and keeping it for yourself but why in the heck would they want the world to see this? 

We don't know for sure if the moms-to-be were asked in the 1st place if they wanted the world to see their births. JB could have very well said (ie TOLD)  "This is your duty. This is your ministry".

Next - the mom-to-be see birthing and having a baby is like hitting the mega millions lotto number. They want everyone to know about their blessing and don't mind the filming, as long it is modestly done. 

Probably to the only way to get out of most of the filming is to have a c-section. But then Danielle (Outdaughtered) and Courtney (Sweet home Sextuplets) filmed a good portion of their c-section delivery, so TLC is experienced in that type of filming..

I am surprised that both Lauren and Kendra had male medical staff, even though Kendra Dr didn't appear. she referred to the Dr as "he". 

What I want to know is who (male or female ) is doing the filming ? the births didn't seem like a home camera, cell phone. 

Edited by sATL
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38 minutes ago, awaken said:

But how did an epidural fail in a REAL hospital with REAL doctors?!?! I’m flummoxed!  

I was surprised too. I guess it goes to show one is never to old to learn something.

Glad I found out this little tidbit out after I am "out of business" to need one. 

I did a quick google on "can epidural not work" and apparently it happens. 

Edited by sATL
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5 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

As topics are won't to do on FJ, discussion arose about failed epidurals. It's not all that uncommon, apparently.

That is true. My friend got an epidural, and it worked on only one half of the body. 

I hope they also know it happens, and that this for them is not one more proof that doctors and medicine is "evil" and wrong

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On 12/24/2019 at 11:15 PM, awaken said:

But how did an epidural fail in a REAL hospital with REAL doctors?!?! I’m flummoxed!  

 

On 12/25/2019 at 5:25 AM, Snow Fairy said:

That is true. My friend got an epidural, and it worked on only one half of the body.

My epidural numbed only the top of my left thigh when I had one 30 yrs ago for my son's birth.  the doctor explained that sometimes they don't hit the correct nerves or my nerves weren't in the usual place.  I wasnt offered another one & ended up having general anesthesia with my emergency C-section.

 

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On 12/24/2019 at 3:57 PM, sATL said:

What I want to know is who (male or female ) is doing the filming ? the births didn't seem like a home camera, cell phone. 

I'm a bit surprised that JB hasn't thought to insist for some of the sons to become part of the general film crew of the show, not specifically for births, after all these years.   It would be a way for them to pull down an income from an outside source without leaving the circle of the family and being forced to work for evil outsiders and captures an even bigger slice of the show's pie for JB's pot.  

If they learn how to do plumbing or install tile after an afternoon of watching a pro they've got to be expert level ready for a film crew at this point. 

Edited by Tikichick
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Just now, Tikichick said:

I'm a bit surprised that JB hasn't thought to insist for some of the sons to become part of the general film crew of the show, not specifically for births, after all these years.   It would be a way for them to pull down an income from a outside source without leaving the circle of the family and being forced to work for evil outsiders and captures an even bigger slice of the show's pie for JB's pot.  

If they learn how to do plumbing or install tile after an afternoon of watching a pro they've got to be expert level ready for a film crew at this point. 

 Do you think Jim Bob would let them join the union? I can see him pushing for it but I can’t see TLC agreeing to anything like that. Isn’t Duggar studios or joshes production company pretty much his shell means of doing just this?

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13 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

I'm a bit surprised that JB hasn't thought to insist for some of the sons to become part of the general film crew of the show, not specifically for births, after all these years.   It would be a way for them to pull down an income from an outside source without leaving the circle of the family and being forced to work for evil outsiders and captures an even bigger slice of the show's pie for JB's pot.  

If they learn how to do plumbing or install tile after an afternoon of watching a pro they've got to be expert level ready for a film crew at this point. 

Does jB have the power to insist on anything with TLC?

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36 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

 Do you think Jim Bob would let them join the union? I can see him pushing for it but I can’t see TLC agreeing to anything like that. Isn’t Duggar studios or joshes production company pretty much his shell means of doing just this?

The show is produced by Duggar Studios and/or Josh has a production company and TLC still uses it after pulling the 19K show?

If Josh has direct profit participation in the series I could really understand Derrick having a serious beef with TLC.  I thought it was bad enough knowing that JB controlling the Counting On $$ likely allows him to dole out a stipend to keep Josh afloat, but if Josh actually is a direct profit partner that's truly awful on the part of TLC.  I expect nothing more from the parents who actually swept the whole damn incident under the rug, but more from the network.

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On 12/17/2019 at 5:07 PM, JoanArc said:

Honor thy father and mother - until your reality tv show needs ratings. That 2/2 parent deaths Jim Bob's exploited!

Am I dreaming,  or was there not footage of someone pushing the demented granpa around on an office chair?

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31 minutes ago, MarysWetBar said:

Am I dreaming,  or was there not footage of someone pushing the demented granpa around on an office chair?

Oh yes,  One episode of 19KAC featured Grandpa Duggar, dying from a brain tumor, not in hospice, but at the TTH seated on an old office chair, with a flashlight strapped on his head (why I don't know) being wheeled into the kitchen to be presented with his favorite banana cake for his birthday.  Meanwhile, everyone grinning from ear-to-ear squawking Happy Birthday as he slumps over drooling.  It was such a joyous occasion - NOT

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