S03.E12: King Of My Heart

[OrchidThief]

6 minutes ago, Barbara Please said:

Hairyback Ben is absolutely gross. The very thought of his stubby hands, yellow teeth, and hairy naked body makes me want to hurl.

You deserve a Pulitzer. You came up with all the fabulous descriptives that eluded me!!

[Callaphera]

10 minutes ago, Barbara Please said:

Hairyback Ben is absolutely gross. He actually referred to her vagina as a cookie jar, and wanted a performance review the morning after. Gag. 

Ben tries so hard to be cool and suave and funny and it comes off a lot more "It puts the lotion in the basket" than anything. 

[OrchidThief]

Apropos jug-ears in Jacksonville, NC, I think talent scouts have hit a gold mine in that town (which is central to a fustercluck of military bases) because failed military recruits who are AWOL, rejected and/or broke just end up and stay there and try to eke out a life. It's a casting director's dream, no? I am from NC, this is no surprise to me and I wish I'd been a casting agent and figured all this out!! That area really is Hillbilly Central, minus the hills, just sand dunes.

Edited October 21, 2019 by OrchidThief

[Adeejay]

1 hour ago, Kangatush said:

And PS, what the sighted goat is Jesse doing at the tell all?  That just seems to be dealing blows that do not need to be dealt.

More Darcey humiliation no doubt. Clearly, the producers hate her.

Teri appears to have lost a lot of weight. I am willing to bet Avery is stressing her to hell out.  The best sight gag was when Avery told the lawyer she was thinking of moving to Syria. He looked at her like “WTF” and started adjusting his glasses. I don’t think he could believe what he was hearing.  

If as Akinyi’s father stated they are a “great” family, I wonder why his non-virgin daughter is still on the market. I was caught off guard when a producer said that it seems as if Ben was expected to pay the bride price indefinitely and Akinyi responded, “so what!”  I hope Ben came to his senses.

[Delete]

34 minutes ago, Barbara Please said:

delete

Edited October 21, 2019 by Barbara Please

[OrchidThief]

8 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

If as Akinyi’s father stated they are a “great” family, I wonder why his non-virgin daughter is still on the market.

I think they are running a marriage mill. I bet Ben is at least the 10th stupid broke American they could squeeze $500 out of -- who, now broke and hopeless, can't buy a plane ticket to return and "claim his bride." This really has to be the scam, right? She's such a dreadful actress.

[mamadrama]

4 hours ago, GladysCravits said:

Tonight Tim finally went home and he had the nerve to act like he was ready for sex the night before and she fell asleep.  I bet the moment he was ready for sex was the minute he made sure she was soundly asleep.  He said he was busy packing.    Coincidentally, he finished after he made sure she was in a deep sleep.  For the life of me, I can’t figure what his deal is, though I do have several theories😂. 

Dude is fucking weird. After following him on SM I have come to the conclusion that he is an arrogant, slightly racist, narcissitic fame whore who is just in this for the publicity. He hs referred to himself as the "star" of the show and in live streaming stuff he has come across cocky and downright rude, often belittling women who call in or chat. I don't think he ever had any intentions of romancing Jenifferrrrr. I think it was for his 15 minutes of fame, but perhaps he had just enough principles to resist consummating their "relationship" since he knew it was fake. Him telling her that they would have hd sex if she'd stayed awake isn't any different than Tom telling Darcey he would have proposed if they had gone to the Canary Islands. At the very least it's rude and gaslighting. Maybe Jennifffer was in on the scam. Perhaps he paid her to play along. I don't think so, though. I don't think his principles stretch that far. Sharp may not pay well, but there are plenty of side perks like traveling, parties, Cameo accounts, big SM reaches, ets.

Basically Avery, Laura, and Ben just paid for the most expensive booty calls ever.

Laughing at the fact that Tom gave his house key to someone who has never been to his house and who lives in a foreign country.

I wish Angela wasn't such an abusive bully. Seeing her appreciating the festivities and getting along with Myyyycul's mom would have veen nice if we hadn't seen the rest of her personality.

Rebecca should have been honest upfront: hey, my ex and I signed the divorce papers but they're still processing and won't be final for another week or two...

That would have been much better than waiting to the end to say, "BTW, I am still married."

I don't belong a single word of Caesar's story. For one thing, I refuse to believe that dude had an extra grand or two lying around the house. Either he is recreating and embellishing stuff that happened a while ago or he's scamming and trolling production. You do 't have to be particulary bright to scam like this-you just have ro be good at lying. I have known some pretty stupid liars in my life-they couldn't find their way out of a bathtub but they could lie like a rug. Either way, his smug little smirk and innocent act literally make me rage.

[OrchidThief]

Avery -- where on earth would she and Omar get money to just live in another country without any opportunity to earn money? This is going to be fun to watch the crash and burn and find out how many wives Omar already had.

Wow. Avery just said "I don't want to see my siblings grow up..." That pretty much says it all.

[Dobian]

Well props to Tom for one-upping the promise ring with a promise key!

"Well I know I didn't make a move on you for two weeks, but it's your fault for falling asleep after I didn't make a move on you again!"

I need to jump on this Caesar gravy train.  I'm going to make a fake Instagram account for Olga Slutskaya, put up some pics of a Ukranian webcam girl, contact Caesar and watch the money start rolling in.

"I know people say, why don't you fall in love with someone from America?  Well I can't help it that I fell in love with someone from halfway around the world.  I mean, I know I was trolling for husbands online from halfway around the world, but that's got nothing to do with it!"

Akini's dad resigned himself to the reality that Akini could only land an American who is poorer than they are.

"We'll just lie to Michael's mom about me being barren, there's plenty of babies back home we can kidnap"

Edited October 21, 2019 by Dobian

[gavinmac]

If you've ever been to Africa or anywhere in the developing world, you'll know that the one thing you never agree to is to pay an undefined amount of money later.

For example, street dudes will latch on to you and offer to act as your guide, your taxi driver, etc.  If, for some reason, you are interested in their services and ask "how much" they will often say "No problem, pay what you like, up to you." 

This is a trap, because no amount you offer at the end of the day will be enough. If you offer $20, they will act offended and intimidating and demand $50. If you offer $200, they will act offended and intimidating and demand $500. 

Ben has committed to an open ended financial obligation to these people. He is indebted to them in an amount for them to decide later. A blank check, if you will.  And if at any point he tries to tell them "no" then his wife is going to go into full on b*tch mode and make his life miserable until he pays.

If he had any backbone, he would call these people from the USA, before petitioning for her visa,  and before they are really "married" and reach an agreement on what he owes. And if their demands are too high or they refuse to set a price, he should just say "No thanks. I'll marry someone else."   Once he's back in the USA, he's got all the leverage dictating the bride price of their deflowered daughter.

Edited October 21, 2019 by gavinmac

[Hannah94]

3 minutes ago, gavinmac said:

If you've ever been to Africa or anywhere in the developing world, you'll know that the one thing you never agree to is to pay an undefined amount of money later.

For example, street dudes will latch on to you and offer to act as your guide, your taxi driver, etc.  If, for some reason, you are interested in their services and ask "how much" they will often say "No problem, pay what you like, up to you." 

This is a trap, because no amount you offer at the end of the day will be enough. If you offer $20, they will act offended and intimidating and demand $50. If you offer $200, they will act offended and intimidating and demand $500. 

Ben has committed to an open ended financial obligation to these people. He is indebted to them in an amount for them to decide later. A blank check, if you will.  And if at any point he tries to tell them "no" then his wife is going to go into full on b*tch mode and make his life miserable until he pays.

If he had any backbone, he would call these people from the USA, before petitioning for her visa,  and before they are really "married" and reach an agreement on what he owes. And if their demands are too high or they refuse to set a price, he should just say "No thanks. I'll marry someone else." 

But Ben appears to be a complete idiot. He is a minister who went on a trashy reality tv show and talked openly about sex with his not-legally-married-yet "wife" on camera. I don't know what kind of church he leads, but I highly suspect that they are not incredibly pleased with his behavior.

[magemaud]

When I watched the Sneak Preview last night, I could have sworn that when Ben was making the analogy about his money, my close captioning said that he had the equivalent of 60 BOWLS. Now tonight he’s saying BULLS. Huge difference! 

[Hannah94]

Just now, magemaud said:

When I watched the Sneak Preview last night, I could have sworn that when Ben was making the analogy about his money, my close captioning said that he had the equivalent of 60 BOWLS. Now tonight he’s saying BULLS. Huge difference! 

I noticed that too! I thought: how bizarre to use "bowls" in an analogy. But "bulls" does make more sense, albeit not much, but a tad bit more sense.

[StitchPunk]

Teri seems to get a disturbing amount of satisfaction out of seeing Avery sad. Not looking into the whole process before getting married is a terrible idea, but do they expect her to get divorced and just live near them forever? People move all the time and to different countries. She and the grandmother went kind of overboard with the controlling guilt trip. It's very disturbing. 

Why does it matter if someone doesn't want to have sex with essentially a stranger? Talk about it and accept that not everyone is dying for sex constantly. It's not weird. The only bad thing is nobody being honest. 

That was a cool key. I don't think I believe it goes to an actual house, but it looks nice. Giving someone a key to your house when they've never been there and probably never will is weird. Also not a good idea. It's basically asking to be robbed or vandalized, if it's a real key. Maybe, but I don't really think so. He could have put it on a keychain or something though. It's kinda small.

[Bryce Lynch]

11 hours ago, Kareem said:

Incredible how much she had wrong, according to the attorney, from going to live with him in Syria to getting him here in a year. Seems they need to re-think their plans. Seems, too, that being a 19 year old know it all backfired. 

Besides the travel ban, she seems to have completely ignored the income requirements.

[Toodleoo]

4 hours ago, Barbara Please said:

Hairyback Ben is absolutely gross. He actually referred to her vagina as a cookie jar, and wanted a performance review the morning after. Gag. 

To be fair, Akininininiboparini called it a cookie jar first in a previous episode and I went into the fetal position for a good twenty minutes.

[Kangatush]

2 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

I noticed that too! I thought: how bizarre to use "bowls" in an analogy. But "bulls" does make more sense, albeit not much, but a tad bit more sense.

But over 60 seems insane.  That's a HUGE amount of cattle.  How much is his educated, older, non-virgin daughter worth?

[alegtostandon]

I've have only watched up to Mangela's and Mikeeeel's party (so funny,  I'd type 'party' & my phone kept trying to change it to 'ovary').  All I'll say at this point about them is Mangela looks older than Mikeeeel's mom.  My older sister married a man 22 years older,  which made him 1 year younger than my mom.   Mom said "no way are you calling me your mother in law!"  It just sounded ridiculous with Mangela running up to her "mama!  Guess what,  Mama,  I have a beautiful  uterus!"  Mama's probably thinking "bitch, you're the same age as me,  no way in hell would I have a baby!"

Just a couple more quick comments: 

No way was that a real house key.   And,  Tom kept saying "I've fallen in love with you!".  Why?  How?  What in these past 2 weeks were so amazing,  you fell head over heels in love with the sloppy drunk, constant crying, slut dressing mess of a woman. 

Akeena's dad would rather Ben pay him all of the money he's forked out to raise his daughter,  not caring that he has a child to support in addition to a wife now! 

Avery is use to getting her way with her tears.  Won't work here.   It's funny,  she's been saying all season that she's not afraid to move to Syria, now she's crying that she's afraid for him to stay there.   She obviously never thought about checking the immigration process before quitting her job to marry this guy. 

[Gobi]

3 hours ago, magemaud said:

When I watched the Sneak Preview last night, I could have sworn that when Ben was making the analogy about his money, my close captioning said that he had the equivalent of 60 BOWLS. Now tonight he’s saying BULLS. Huge difference! 

1 hour ago, Kangatush said:

But over 60 seems insane.  That's a HUGE amount of cattle.  How much is his educated, older, non-virgin daughter worth?

Maybe it was "bowls", as in bowls of primo weed.

[essexjan]

Tim doesn't know if he and Jeniffer are sexually compatible. Honey, I can tell you right here that you ain't - she has a vagina.

[Cementhead]

5 hours ago, Dobian said:

Olga Slutskaya

Dying.  🤣🤣

I noticed part of a Bowflex machine sticking out over Caesar's shoulder in his talking heads.  Further proof that this guy just pisses away shitloads of money on expensive things he never touches; Maria and exercise equipment. 

[essexjan]

I was fast-forwarding through Caesar's segments until ... Helllooooo Jeremy!

[Hannah94]

Just now, essexjan said:

I was fast-forwarding through Caesar's segments until ... Helllooooo Jeremy!

Omg, same here! Dang, he is a sight for sore eyes (sore because of rolling them so hard in response to Cesar's stupidity). Not only is Jeremy aesthetically pleasing, he has an actual brain. He has given up hope on his dumb ass friend.

[alegtostandon]

Oh,  Caesar!  Either this guy is doing this for the cameras or there is something seriously wrong with him.   Now,  the beautifully feminine Maria with the altered male voice wants to meet in Cuba.  Another 2 RT airline tickets,  hotel room,  fancy dinners and,  of course,  new chocolate panties and shling swing.  

I somehow missed the segment with Rebecca & Zied.  Her family has to be embarrassed of her sitting there begging him.  

Edited October 21, 2019 by alegtostandon

[IllLitShips]

Avery definitely should have seen an immigration lawyer before she got married. I think she probably knew the answer to her questions,  but didn't want to hear it.  I saw that a poster had said a former classmate of Avery said that Avery had mental health issues and I see it. She reminds me of a friend of mine who has BPD. Very impulsive and emotional. My friend would fall head over heels in love with any guy and would get intensely passionate about different interests. I wonder how many of the participants on the show to do have psychological disorders that cause them to be impulsive? 

[essexjan]

11 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

Omg, same here! Dang, he is a sight for sore eyes (sore because of rolling them so hard in response to Cesar's stupidity). Not only is Jeremy aesthetically pleasing, he has an actual brain. He has given up hope on his dumb ass friend.

I think my chocolate panties melted right off at the sight of him. He sure is purty.

Edited October 21, 2019 by essexjan
More Jeremy

[Hangin Out]

12 hours ago, PityFree said:

I’m hoping for a souvenir keychain of Big Ben.

That wasn’t cute .. that was mean of him. He knew she wanted an engagement ring, so he gives her a key to his flat?  In a box?

[Spike]

5 hours ago, Dobian said:

"Well I know I didn't make a move on you for two weeks, but it's your fault for falling asleep after I didn't make a move on you again!"

Step one:  pack slowly until she falls asleep at one a.m.

Step two:  repeatedly scold her the next morning for depriving you of sex after you declined it pretty much every other night.

Step three:  once again ignore the whole concept of morning sex.

[Hannah94]

1 minute ago, Silver Bells said:

That wasn’t cute .. that was mean of him. He knew she wanted an engagement ring, so he gives her a key to his flat?  In a box?

It would be mean if it had been actual reality and if she had been a normal functioning human being, not a drunken, trashy, slutty bag of hysterics, drama, and desperation. But this was definitely a set-up by production. And I feel certain that they were both in on it. 

[Spike]

2 hours ago, Toodleoo said:

To be fair, Akininininiboparini called it a cookie jar first in a previous episode and I went into the fetal position for a good twenty minutes.

Cookie jars are pretty wide.  I’m not sure that’s such a flattering analogy.

[essexjan]

3 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

It would be mean if it had been actual reality and if she had been a normal functioning human being, not a drunken, trashy, slutty bag of hysterics, drama, and desperation. But this was definitely a set-up by production. And I feel certain that they were both in on it. 

I think Tom was in on it, but I think Darcey was expecting a diamond ring.

[Hangin Out]

2 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

It would be mean if it had been actual reality and if she had been a normal functioning human being, not a drunken, trashy, slutty bag of hysterics, drama, and desperation. But this was definitely a set-up by production. And I feel certain that they were both in on it. 

I know, I know.  I keep forgetting this is not real and only a show, lol. Darcy, especially is a tv fame whore, actually they all are.  I don’t know why I watch, but I do.  Maybe not next season .. it’s too drawn out, but then I probably will.  I have to see about that dummy Ceasar.

[Mrs. Hanson]

5 minutes ago, essexjan said:

I think Tom was in on it, but I think Darcey was expecting a diamond ring.

Darcy was expecting a blinged out diamond ring, followed by an officiant showing up to marry them ASAP.   Then she wants to make the key into a necklace?  

Ben......you are so dim and you will be paying this family FOREVER.

What does Rebecca see in Zied?  He is a pudgy smoker who litters.

[SevenCostanza]

7 hours ago, Barbara Please said:

He's a human mothball.

What an accurate description, well done.

[Hangin Out]

3 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Darcy was expecting a blinged out diamond ring, followed by an officiant showing up to marry them ASAP.   Then she wants to make the key into a necklace?  

Ben......you are so dim and you will be paying this family FOREVER.

What does Rebecca see in Zied?  He is a pudgy smoker who litters.

She’s probably the town slut in Georgia and everyone knows her, OR,she’s out to be an actress, lol.  
I can’t wait for Ceasar to find out there is no Maria.  I don’t feel sorry for him anymore.

[Hannah94]

I am the only one excited to see Jesse, aren't I (per the previews)?

[DiamondGirl]

6 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Laughing at the fact that Tom gave his house key to someone who has never been to his house and who lives in a foreign country.

But it’s Darcey, so it reminded me of the old joke with the king going off to war giving the key to the queen’s chastity belt to his knight, only to have the knight race after him shouting “It’s the wrong key!”

[Toaster Strudel]

22 hours ago, Spike said:

It seems totally fake now.  She humiliates him and then he gives her another 2-3 grand?

I love the catfish stories on Dr Phil and Ceasar is like every single victim he ever featured.

Delusional, soft-spoken, vacant stare, gullible, and horny as hell for someone out of his league.

People get scammed for millions of dollars every year in these romance scams.

Ceasar found "Maria" on AnastasiaDate dot com, which is a huge romance scam organized crime syndicate.

[Hangin Out]

2 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

I am the only one excited to see Jesse, aren't I (per the previews)?

YES.  He was always mad at something and had zero patience.  But then again, Darcy is no prize either.  They argued about every little thing.

[essexjan]

11 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

I am the only one excited to see Jesse, aren't I (per the previews)?

I can't wait!

[Toaster Strudel]

48 minutes ago, alegtostandon said:

 Now,  the beautifully feminine Maria with the altered male voice wants to meet in Cuba. 

The AnastasiaDate criminals want to keep the illusion that he'll meet their employee Maria one day, but they want to keep his candy panty ass out of Ukraine at all costs.

[Baltimore Betty]

21 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

That wasn’t cute .. that was mean of him. He knew she wanted an engagement ring, so he gives her a key to his flat?  In a box?

Since he never took her to his home how would she "feel free to come and go" when ever she wants and not too mention she would need a plane ticket to make that happen, nice gesture, Tom.

Also, what castle does he live in that a skeleton key is used?

Did anyone catch that sparkly fake diamond Darcey was wearing?  Was that the same one she got from Jesse?

[Hannah94]

7 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

YES.  He was always mad at something and had zero patience.  But then again, Darcy is no prize either.  They argued about every little thing.

True, but he was entertaining and he called Darcy out on her bullshit. He wasn't boring fake wallpaper like Sir Thomas of Snoozeville. 

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

I am personally victimized tonight by Tim pearl clutching his JUUL and the mold stains inside Rebecca and Zied’s oasis tent. What a bunch of losers. 

Tim and Jeniffers goodbye scene versus Darcey and Tom. Darcey and Tom was goodbye kissing ! Tim and Jeniffer was like the kissing of 16 years married people who are saying goodbye but secretly happy the other is away for a week on a business trip so they can be home alone getting take out have the remote control to themselves for a few days. 

I have considered if Tim and Jeniffer have been doing it for real and are lying about it and they are fishing for another season. But, no, Tim LOVES being on t v and acting and is mega thirstier for than THAT than sex. Everything about Tim is appearances. Pretty guns, more about their peacock appearance than the bang. Ferrari more about the appearance than the ride. Same same for Tim. He has some major major baggage that has rendered him asexual. And asexual is ok, (see: Gender Unicorn) but don’t drag a partner into it with different expectations. 

What else ? Oh Angela looked the prettiest she ever has with her hair up and in that garb. I was shocked ! 

Shut up Avery. Try Canada. Who the **** was Jeremy chatting with Caesar . THERE IS NO MARIA ! If this doesn’t cross over to Nev and Catfish then what are we doing here really ? 

[Toaster Strudel]

7 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I was caught off guard when a producer said that it seems as if Ben was expected to pay the bride price indefinitely and Akinyi responded, “so what!”  I hope Ben came to his senses.

She dropped the baby voice like a hot potato, and replaced it with a hard, mercenary tone. "It's his mistake, haHA! Now he will have to pay for eternity - SCORE!"

[iwasish]

32 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Darcy was expecting a blinged out diamond ring, followed by an officiant showing up to marry them ASAP.   Then she wants to make the key into a necklace?  

Ben......you are so dim and you will be paying this family FOREVER.

What does Rebecca see in Zied?  He is a pudgy smoker who litters.

I don’t think he hears very well either. Wasn’t Mohammed from Tunisia also? His English was much better. 

[Neurochick]

On 10/20/2019 at 7:48 AM, Hannah94 said:

Cesar is such a tool. I don't think a single soul on the planet can feel sorrow for this jack ass anymore. He deserves being used and that is a difficult thing to say about anyone (except him). Maria does not exist and he has to know this, but he is loving his tv time so much, he doesn't care that all the viewers groan and roll their eyes when his stupid ass is on screen. 

I just watched Love Me on Amazon and you'd be surprised at how people lie to themselves when the truth is in their face.

Who is Bikini?  Isn't her name Akinyi?  I don't think her family is being "cruel" or "scary."  Not everybody does like Americans or Western Europeans.

[Hangin Out]

5 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

She dropped the baby voice like a hot potato, and replaced it with a hard, mercenary tone. "It's his mistake, haHA! Now he will have to pay for eternity - SCORE!"

Yeah, and she will be locked up in her house with no money and no credit card and for his convenience.  That baby face of his doesn’t fool me.

[Cementhead]

When Zied was trying to process what Rebecca just told him, "Married?"  did anyone else besides me think of this?

[Hannah94]

3 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I just watched Love Me on Amazon and you'd be surprised at how people lie to themselves when the truth is in their face.

I've seen comments about Love Me on here. Is that a movie or a series? I found a movie with that title but not sure if it is fiction or a docudrama type show.