S03.E12: King Of My Heart

[Delete]

6 hours ago, Toodleoo said:

To be fair, Akininininiboparini called it a cookie jar first in a previous episode and I went into the fetal position for a good twenty minutes.

I must have scrubbed my brain with bleach, because I totally forgot that.

[eyebleach]

Can we talk about Pillow Talk for this episode?  Andrei in dinosaur PJs is giving me life.

[Cherrio]

4 hours ago, Spike said:

Cookie jars are pretty wide.  I’m not sure that’s such a flattering analogy.

They also have crumbs and sometimes bugs too. 🤢

[charmed1]

I fell asleep last night during Avery’s boring Brenda Walsh meltdown and missed all the good snark from the live chat. 

I don’t know what happened, baby. I guess I was just too...like in my head or something and overthinking things. Please accept this gently used promise ring and the key to my storage unit as a token of my love.

[Persnickety1]

Things I would love to see at the Tell All (but won't).

* Jesse telling Tiny Tim "at least I can get an erection, little man."

* Zied looking at Tiny Tim and mumbling "so very, very limp...so much limp."

* Rebecca and Angela, cigarettes and drinks in hand, tattoos on display, working themselves up into a battle royale which neither will win because they'll both need supplement oxygen.

* Darcy screeching her infamous LIAR! YOU NEVER LOVED ME! GET OUT OF MY LIFE! when she discovers Tom has at least two previous engagements under his belt...and she got a symbolic skeleton key to his heart and hearth.

* The sheriff showing up to cuff up milquetoast Ben for one of his outstanding warrants for child support.  

* Darcy throwing herself at Jesse and Jesse extricating himself from her clutches saying YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!

* Avery boarding a flight to Syria.  

Edited October 21, 2019 by Persnickety1

[RoxiP]

Can we talk about Andrei's bangs which are obviously attempt to hide his receding hairline?

[Bryce Lynch]

6 minutes ago, greekmom said:

Check out the reddit thread. There is some interesting info on the Australian. 

Now the show.

Ben and Bikini: I wonder if the whole point of Bikini telling Ben that they will be “married” when daddy and Ben agree to a bride price was for her to test the Ben waters.  Otherwise, there is no way that Ben would have slept with her. I also wonder if he just split the $600 and gave Mama and Papa each 300$.

Tim and Jeniffer: I cannot believe he was there 2 weeks and vanilla Ben got more sex than Tim did. 

Grangela and Michael: Loved the little white lie she told Mama. Angela is only looking for number 1. She doesn’t want to have anymore kids. Damn currently she’s watching Scottie’s.  Micheal is only there for Angela’s sexual gratifications and to wipe her ass when she is too old or too fat to.

Zied and Rebecca: At the Tell All, I bet Rebecca will say she has another secret.

Omar and Avery: I would say apply for the visas and wait.

Darcy and Tom: the wedding hints were dropping like anvils and Tom totally snarked her with a “key” to his “house”.  Damn that’s cold.  And TLC furthers it by not only revealing at the Tell All that Tom’s been engaged twice but bringing Jessie who really has no place anymore.

This show both infuriates me and I can't wait till next week!

I think it was a test to see if they can bleed Ben on a series of bride price payments.  The "marriage" and consummation (that Bikini didn't fill out her customer satisfaction survey for ) were throwing Ben and bone....or a cookie, to keep him on the line.

Yes, Angela did a classic lie of omission sharing only the good news about her beautiful egg toter, but not the bad news about her single, decrepit, remaining egg.  Maybe Mother Michael can lend her one to tote.

What secret could Rebecca have left?  She is really a man?  She is his biological mother?

The Tom fake proposal thing seemed very staged.  It was obvious he was leading her to believe he was going to propose and then gave her a fake key to his house.  

[Cherrio]

3 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I watch 16 Candles every time it’s on, like every week.  The Grandparents are so authentic.  Haha.  Like mine.

oily bo-hunk

[suzeecat]

3 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

Because he has to apply for the K-1 visa.  His trip was so that he could meet her, and perhaps get engaged.  They're not legally married yet.

OK, except people on this show come to America before they're married & apply for K-1 all/most of the time (thinking Chantel/Pedro, Danielle/Mohammed, Colt/Larissa).  Sure, it's to see if they are compatible enough to marry, but with Akinyi, I think Ben is already committed, whether compatible or not.  She's bought (albeit on the installment plan from hell) and paid for. 

[invisiblegirl12]

1 minute ago, suzeecat said:

except people on this show come to America before they're married & apply for K-1 all/most of the time (thinking Chantel/Pedro, Danielle/Mohammed, Colt/Larissa).

That's the difference between the Original 90 Day Fiance and the "Before The 90s Days." In the examples you listed, those couples already got their K1 visas, and were within the 90 day window to get married in the U.S. None of the couples in the "Before the 90 Days" show have the visa yet, which is why none of them are getting married in the U.S. 

[Cherrio]

13 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

* Zied looking at Tiny Tim and mumbling "so very, very limp...so much limp."

BaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Kath94]

5 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

OK, except people on this show come to America before they're married & apply for K-1 all/most of the time (thinking Chantel/Pedro, Danielle/Mohammed, Colt/Larissa).  Sure, it's to see if they are compatible enough to marry, but with Akinyi, I think Ben is already committed, whether compatible or not.  She's bought (albeit on the installment plan from hell) and paid for. 

Must it be said again?  The 90 days is NOT to "see if you are compatible."  That should already be a given.  The 90 days is to allow the foreign fiance to get settled in, plan, and execute (heh!) a wedding.  This show makes it sound like you're getting to know each other and make a decision, but in reality the decision should already be made.

[Mu Shu]

On 10/20/2019 at 12:03 PM, Spike said:

How many models have a huge tattoo on their chest?  

Fetish models. Shame she’s so covered in ink. She has a beautifully sculpted face and a great figure, and might have been able to get lingerie and swimsuit work. 

She’ll probably do well on Instagram. This thing with Teem the Broken Peen is just to jumpstart her SM following. I’m not mad at her. 

[suzeecat]

6 minutes ago, invisiblegirl12 said:

That's the difference between the Original 90 Day Fiance and the "Before The 90s Days." In the examples you listed, those couples already got their K1 visas, and were within the 90 day window to get married in the U.S. None of the couples in the "Before the 90 Days" show have the visa yet, which is why none of them are getting married in the U.S. 

Thanks for the clarification.  I guess I never picked up on the difference sequence of events before. 

[Meowwww]

Ugh Teem.   What an asshole.  Falls asleep for 13 nights on her, stays up late piddling around packing, then carries a huge grudge against Jeniffer for falling asleep.  I really wanted her to lay into him about this, but she only made the one comment.  He’s a petulant child   So unattractive inside.  

Jesse looks pale and ill.  I can’t wait for the tell all, even with ol’ Shaun hosting it. 

I bet Ben likes his hair pulled during sex.  His back hair, not head hair. My hubby is a somewhat furry guy and I love it, but Ben really has no redeeming qualities so I don’t feel bad for saying this.  So there. 
 

[islandgal140]

I am now convinced that Tim actually makes it a point to target women with children. Not because he is some pedo or anything, but because it is a ready made family and he won't have to have sex to father children. I said what I said! 

Take note: she fell asleep waiting for him to finish carefully packing his moisturizers, high gloss nail polish, eye and face masks, skinny jeans and slim shouldered tees. This dude would rather pack his suitcases than have sex!

Tom laid it on x-tra thick last night. He reminded me of the most memorable line from Tropic Thunder but with a twist: He went full Hugh Grant, you never go full Hugh Grant (especially without 2 years at Juillard and a decent script). He could've hurt himself. 

I think I might've woke the neighbors with my cackling when Tom opened the box to reveal a skeleton key? Who the hell is out here still using skeleton keys? That is like the key you use to open the strange red door in a haunted house. 

Quote

Darcey, too much real and figurative baggage. Too much working in a marriage proposal in to every activity you do with Tom. He really isn't interested. Too over the top and kinda desperate.

But... Tom was actually leaning into her crazy and going with it this episode. He actually took her to a church that Maid Marian and Robin Hood allegedly got married and he walked her down the aisle.  

On 10/20/2019 at 2:00 AM, Christina said:

Avery has been on my last nerve for quite awhile now, so I was happy to see her stupid and completely foreseeable plan end in her tears.

Glad to see I'm not the only one. I don't feel so bad from getting secret joy when she found out her dumb plan was never gonna work. I wanted to drink her tears. 

3 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

I am the only one excited to see Jesse, aren't I (per the previews)?

Save an aisle seat on that hellbound basket for me. When I saw Jessie, I thought:

This reunion fitting to be lit! Not even Shaun "Sominex" Robinson can ruin the fuckery that is about to be afoot. 

[LGGirl]

I’m just waiting for the Tell Nothing.  

Thats all I got. 

[Gobi]

7 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

Fetish models. Shame she’s so covered in ink. She has a beautifully sculpted face and a great figure, and might have been able to get lingerie and swimsuit work. 

She’ll probably do well on Instagram. This thing with Teem the Broken Peen is just to jumpstart her S&M following. I’m not mad at her. 

FTFY.

[essexjan]

1 hour ago, poeticlicensed said:

Love Me is available on Prime Video. 

I can't see it on Prime UK. We get different shows/movies. 😞

[Persnickety1]

17 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

Glad to see I'm not the only one. I don't feel so bad from getting secret joy when she found out her dumb plan was never gonna work. I wanted to drink her tears. 

This reunion fitting to be lit! Not even Shaun "Sominex" Robinson can ruin the fuckery that is about to be afoot. 

Pass the goblet, @islandgal140!   🥂

[Spike]

56 minutes ago, greekmom said:

Micheal is only there for Angela’s sexual gratifications and to wipe her ass when she is too old or too fat to

Which would be now.

[essexjan]

43 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

Idk if this helps or not, but I found it "On Demand" for free with my local cable company in the States. Not sure how cable works in the UK.

Looking at the info online, I think I've seen it before on TV. I recognise one of the women. Desperate women unhappy with hard-drinking Ukrainian men and few prospects for themselves, willing to settle for creepy men so they can escape. A few years ago, Dawn Porter (now married to Chris O'Dowd) made a similar documentary about American men going to Russia to find a wife. It was horrifying. One guy was so weird that Dawn was totally freaked out by him and genuinely worried for any woman who got mixed up with him. I don't know if it's available online in the USA.  It's called "Extreme Wife: From Russia With Love".

[Cementhead]

19 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

But... Tom was actually leaning into her crazy and going with it this episode. He actually took her to a church that Maid Marian and Robin Hood allegedly got married and he walked her down the aisle.  

Oh yeah, Dude went hard with the ❤️ stuff last night.  He waits until the last night she's there and suddenly goes all unicorns and puppy dog tails on her.  And haunted house skeleton key aside, he knew the real key to Darcey's heart would be that pink champagne she was throwing back.  I was seriously waiting for him to tell her "you complete me."

[seacliffsal]

I was just so, so delighted to watch Avery's fool-proof plan fall to pieces.  She obviously thought that she had out-smarted the government by going to Lebanon and getting married which she then believed would let her bypass every immigration regulation because she is Avery and smarter than everyone!  I loved that she played all of her traditional 'games' to get what she wanted and the lawyer just kept telling her the answers/truth.  Tears? Check.  Threat to move to Syria?  Check.  Wearing glasses to appear more on the lawyer's 'level'?  It was a new one, but still check.  Oh, and stating she'll move to Dubai, etc?  Good luck with that as the cost of living well is super high.  My fear is that she'll join up with Rachel (Jon in England) and then we'll have to listen to TWO uninformed entitled snowflakes who believe it's so unfair that they can't be with the ones they love.  Research is your friend.

So over Tim and Rebecca and Ceasar.  Just don't care.  Oh, and it was comedy gold when Angela complained about the clothes and how they covered her when in reality it's the best she has ever looked in any of her seasons.  

SOOOOOOOOO looking forward to the reunion.  I'm all in for Jesse being there.

[Spike]

31 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

That is like the key you use to open the strange red door in a haunted house. 

Or to the dungeon where Darcey can be his dominatrix.  She already owns the PVC.

[DiamondGirl]

4 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Who is Bikini?  Isn't her name Akinyi?  I don't think her family is being "cruel" or "scary."  Not everybody does like Americans or Western Europeans.

They weren’t scary but they were rude and unwelcoming to someone they invited to their home for the purpose of bargaining to hand over their daughter.  It’s fine if they don’t like Americans - then don’t accept one into the family.

[Spike]

I hope Omar is attracted to multiple chins because it looks like Avery is adding one per week.

[TipseyGirl]

4 hours ago, Cementhead said:

When Zied was trying to process what Rebecca just told him, "Married?"  did anyone else besides me think of this?

yep!

[alegtostandon]

Why was Ben feeding cake to the whole family? 

[poeticlicensed]

30 minutes ago, essexjan said:

I can't see it on Prime UK. We get different shows/movies. 😞

Check this out 

[Drogo]

In case anyone missed the episode, here's a quick visual recap - 

TIM: 

JENIFFER: 

.

.

ZIED (re: Rebecca's divorce ETA😞

REBECCA: 

.

.

MARIA:

CAESAR: 

CAESAR'S FRIEND: 

.

.

MICHAEL: 

ANGELA: 

MICHAEL'S MOTHER: 

.

.

BENJAMIN:

FIDEL:

FATHER AKINYI:

.

.

TOM: 

DARCEY: 

[Drogo]

Reminder:  There's a no politics policy here.  We're not talking about politicians, elections, etc.  

[Spike]

Tried to be vague lol, will steer clear.

[shockermolar]

1 hour ago, greekmom said:

Otherwise, there is no way that Ben would have slept with her.

I was curious about that too. I mean is he so dumb that he thinks that they are actually married married (or in Rebecca speak "technically" married) or does he view it as a spiritual marriage. Cause I really want to know what in his devout Christian soul, a belief that wouldn't even allow them to sleep in the same room in different beds because of the temptation, is suddenly like "I paid for that and ate some cake so let's hit the sheets!" I'm pretty sure that's not in the King James Version. Also, yeah. Too much temptation in those pj pants and tshirts. In the words of Zied, "so much sexy."

[humbleopinion]

Tim Reverse Roofies his gfs.

He spikes their drinks so they cannot fight falling asleep then their early twilight sleeep gives him the perfect cover.... how  he was so horny he was for them but they fell asleep and the sweet love opportunity was lost...all their fault.

Tim looks like a Boy Bratz Doll...fancy clothes, Ferrari jacket and trucker cap, 5 o'clock scruff, enlarged eyes, manicured eyrbrows,  giant head in proportion to his teeny tiny Timmy body....

[Bryce Lynch]

1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

Ugh Teem.   What an asshole.  Falls asleep for 13 nights on her, stays up late piddling around packing, then carries a huge grudge against Jeniffer for falling asleep.  I really wanted her to lay into him about this, but she only made the one comment.  He’s a petulant child   So unattractive inside.  

Jesse looks pale and ill.  I can’t wait for the tell all, even with ol’ Shaun hosting it. 

I bet Ben likes his hair pulled during sex.  His back hair, not head hair. My hubby is a somewhat furry guy and I love it, but Ben really has no redeeming qualities so I don’t feel bad for saying this.  So there. 
 

I'm sure if Jenniffer hadn't fallen asleep, Teem would have fallen asleep or come up with some excuse not to go into her cookie jar.  I think that after his 2 weeks of failing to close the deal, when she was pretty much begging him to, Teem was so glad he could call it "her fault" on the last night, to remove some of his shame.

It seems clear that Teem has some sort of physical or psychological condition that prevents him from performing sexually.

I really don't want to visualize Ben and Bikini consummating.  

[Lady Iris]

I wish I could remember where I saw it on twitter, paraphrasing but something went, looks like Ben now has two child support payments to make. Well, I thought that was a stellar observation.

Akinyi has the nerve to be all upset with Ben over not telling his family yet that he's sorta kinda married after the hazing she and her family put him through? The nerve.

I knew the box Tom was holding was too big for a ring. I was hoping maybe a bracelet or something sweet but nope, a key! A frickin' skeleton key to god knows what! Probably to his dog's dog house for all we know.

Tim. You couldn't be arsed to get it up all during your vacation and now its Jenifffffffer's fault? You douche.

Caesar. Just give all your money for the rest of your life to the thing that you love. its been working out real great for ya,

That was a very nice party Mykull and Angela were given. Too bad he can't expect the same when he gets to 'Murica.

[magemaud]

7 hours ago, Kangatush said:

But over 60 seems insane. 

He has $600 USD, so each bull would cost $ 10? Father Akinyi would become a cattle baron with that herd. That's why I think he really said "bowls," while looking around the room for some kind of concrete analogy. 

[Bryce Lynch]

1 hour ago, Barbara Please said:

I must have scrubbed my brain with bleach, because I totally forgot that.

I think it was when she was drunk, or maybe before that when Ben was telling her that he would sleep on the couch and she would sleep in the bed.  She mentioned forbidden fruit and the cookie jar.  

3 minutes ago, magemaud said:

He has $600 USD, so each bull would cost $ 10? Father Akinyi would become a cattle baron with that herd. That's why I think he really said "bowls," while looking around the room for some kind of concrete analogy. 

I thought he said "bulls", but $10 will only get you a couple of burgers.  

[Bej]

On 10/20/2019 at 2:00 AM, Christina said:

Avery has been on my last nerve for quite awhile now, so I was happy to see her stupid and completely foreseeable plan end in her tears. I felt sympathy for her mom, though. She was happy about the lawyer telling her it was a bad idea to move to Syria if she wanted the waiver to have a shot of success but still hurting for Avery crying over her stupid actions. I also liked the attorney.

When her mom pointed out that she just jumps into things without thinking them through, it reminded me of when her former classmates took to Twitter after seeing her on the show and claimed that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but refused to take her meds because she didn't like how they made her feel. The friend who appeared on the episode said it wasn't true, and some others said she had an obsessive compulsive disorder, not bipolar disorder. I don't think Avery has ever addressed it but based on her recent social media meltdowns I'm beginning to think there may be something there. IMO her meltdowns have taken place after massive trolling and may not have anything to do with mental health. It has to get exhausting trying to not be petty and rude to assholes on the internet, and she's way to immature to be able to just ignore it and walk away. 

I skipped Caeser, have already forgotten about Tim and Jeniffer after watching Avery get shut down in the lawyer's office, Darcey looked sober but they left the jewelry box as a cliffhanger, and Ben and Akinyi's segment was uncomfortable to watch. I could feel his anxiety through the screen and her family came across a bit hostile. Fidel laughing and her dad and mom not paying attention to the gift he gave them came across as very cold. This being this show, they probably looked at the gifts and it was cut so the story of him being conned could continue. 

The box was his house key lol not a ring or even anything of value

[SemiCharmedLife]

15 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Let's face it:  Ben could have gone to LA, San Diego, Atlanta, Charlotte, etc. for an educated female that trips his trigger.

She pretended to be asleep.  I did it all the time married to my first hubby, lol!!!!  Look, if you want to do it, you FIND THE TIME!  And STAY AWAKE!!!

Ben should have been looking for someone that would make a good stepmom and pastor's wife. Sadly, those don't seem to be his priorities. 

Tim probably slipped a little something into Jeniffer's drink...so he wouldn't have to do the deed.

[Bej]

18 hours ago, PityFree said:

I’m hoping for a souvenir keychain of Big Ben.

Lol it's his house key 

[gavinmac]

4 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

Thanks, I think I may have found it. I just started watching. It looks like a bunch of small town country boys that are talking about meeting women from Ukraine. Is this the right one? Because my search for Love Me brought up several results.

I thought it was available on youtube for free:  

[Spike]

23 minutes ago, Lady Iris said:

Akinyi has the nerve to be all upset with Ben over not telling his family yet that he's sorta kinda married after the hazing she and her family put him through? The nerve.

She was picking a fight so she wouldn’t have to have sex with him a second time.  And who could blame her?  That is some traumatizing shit.

[Callaphera]

8 hours ago, Kangatush said:

But over 60 seems insane.  That's a HUGE amount of cattle.  How much is his educated, older, non-virgin daughter worth?

Apparently not a single cow to help keep the bull population going. Maybe Benny Boy wants to get in the bull semen business? 

5 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Shut up Avery. Try Canada. 

I believe I can speak for all of Canada safely here (because hopefully most of them are at the polls since it's Federal Election day) when I say: We don't want her. 

[Bryce Lynch]

2 minutes ago, Spike said:

She was picking a fight so she wouldn’t have to have sex with him a second time.  And who could blame her?  That is some traumatizing shit.

What are the chances that either:

1) Ben, like Jihoon and apparently Sasha from the upcoming season, has Super Sperm, and Akinyi was impregnated on his only trip to the cookie jar.

2) Akinyi was already pregnant, by another man, and slept with him so she could make Ben believe it is his, so he will send even more money?

[islandgal140]

Ben got that scammin' Rent A Center never gonna be paid off, high interest rate, ruin your credit payment plan. 

Aykini's cookie jar should've been like this:

But instead it looked like this:

[essexjan]

1 hour ago, poeticlicensed said:

Check this out 

Thanks PoeticLicensed. It's the one I saw on TV a few years ago. Sad for all concerned.

[Bej]

I bet Jesse is at the tell all to warn Tom if he ever cooks a steak for her to make sure it is cut on a bias otherwise she might throw a Louie vuitton at him

[Drogo]

Just now, islandgal140 said:

cookie jar