S03.E11: Hard To Say I'm Sorry

[Chalby]

On 10/14/2019 at 1:25 PM, Cammi said:

 She models herself after Kim K and it reminds me of the time Prince invited Kim Kardashian onstage to dance and she just stood there like an idiot. He told her to get the hell off the stage. 

I remember that! That's when I realized that the Kardashians are just cutouts - only to be viewed. I didn't know how awkward and insecure Kim really was until that moment.

[Chalby]

On 10/14/2019 at 10:20 AM, SemiCharmedLife said:

I think a bigger problem is that Rebecca has already sponsored one fiance, and immigration officials may not approve this K-1 application.

I think this couple is the most unwatchable. Every time she opens her mouth and says, "I need to tell you something..." my stomach drops. So far, she has only disclosed information that disrespects him, his culture, and his family and friends. They welcomed her with open arms while she's in her element, trying to shock them, as her way of saying, "Thank you"?

[Gobi]

7 hours ago, Honey said:

 There is nothing wrong with Tim.  All he's doing is ensuring an invite back for the next season.  "Will he, or won't he?" It's the ultimate question.  For all we know they've already had sex, and they're lying to us.  How would we know?  It's one of the few places the cameras aren't allowed.

She did look happy in the morning in bed scenes.

[Mothra]

18 hours ago, blubld43 said:

Honestly I'd be shocked if a beginner pastor makes anything close to 50k. Maybe a leading pastor at a big church.

I don't think he's a bad guy, per se, but as we've all said, he just isn't in any position to bring a bride to the U.S.  I can't stand these types of dweeby guys and I'm betting the lustre will wear off quickly for Akinyi.

The thing we have to remember is that most of our American love-seekers go to countries with a much, much lower average annual income.  In Kenya, it's a little over $1200.  That's $100 ;per month.  Even if Benjamin is earning $10,000 a year, imagine what a fortune that must sound like to Bikini's family.  The foreigners who live in very poor families probably know about life in the US only from TV--and even the poorest families depicted on TV, like Roseanne, live in what must seem great luxury if you live in a country where people earn $100 a month.  Add to that that these American love-seekers can afford to come to another country, have money to spend on non-essentials, and are trying to transport yet another person to the US, and you can see how people like Bikini's family must believe that Benny is wealthy--which only makes his perceived stinginess in gift-giving more of a personal flaw than what it really is, which is lack of funds.

[HunterHunted]

On 10/14/2019 at 3:07 PM, lh25 said:

I wonder what Ang would have done had Michael been sick, and he wanted her to stay home and talk to him when she wanted to go out?

She'd go out because he caint tell her what to do and then she'd constantly check the security cameras to see what he's up to. When she notices someone else in the house, she'll rush home to scream at Michael about how he let some skinny white bitch in a black dress into her house. It won't be until she tries to physically throw him out of the house that she'll realize that he's died from pneumonia and the "skinny white bitch in the black dress" is the actual physical manifestation of Death carrying his scythe. At which point, Ang will try to scrap with Death and figure out some black magic to drag Michael's spirit back to Earth because he's not going to get away from her that easily.

[Thisgirllovespasta]

12 hours ago, OrchidThief said:

So I got engaged to some idiot who was showing the teeny tiny ring he got me, AT HOLLYWOOD PARTIES (and he's a multimillionaire, I'm not at all) as special because he had to get one so small to suit my small hands lololololol. It was a real diamond, but the lowest-grade one available a "blue diamond" that glows under black light and is generally undesirable. I liked it, but his excuses in front of quite wealthy celebreties (of which he is *almost* one) were hilarious. Obviously we did not get married and I gave him his treasured ring back. Wonder what he did with it. That said, the options for buying fake or cheap rings are limitless.

He sold it to Tim 😂😂😂

Glad you got out!!!

[Rt66vintage]

20 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Inmates would see naive, shy, socially awkward Ben coming from a mile away. They'd put him through the wringer and he'd flee sobbing. He seems to possess none of the skills a successful minister would need. He does not have a warm and confident demeanor. He does not demonstrate leadership ability in any way. He does not come across as especially good or kind or Christ-like (think Jimmy Carter, for example). He's just a loser who likes to sing hymns.

Right-on. Ben is sweaty & nervous. And he definitely needs to work on his singing. 

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, HunterHunted said:

She'd go out because he caint tell her what to do and then she'd constantly check the security cameras to see what he's up to. When she notices someone else in the house, she'll rush home to scream at Michael about how he let some skinny white bitch in a black dress into her house. It won't be until she tries to physically throw him out of the house that she'll realize that he's died from pneumonia and the "skinny white bitch in the black dress" is the actual physical manifestation of Death carrying his scythe. At which point, Ang will try to scrap with Death and figure out some black magic to drag Michael's spirit back to Earth because he's not going to get away from her that easily.

I like where this story is going, but where does Angela's solitary egg fit into all this?  

[invisiblegirl12]

11 hours ago, PityFree said:

22 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

For real???  Dang!!  A $50,000 salary and no income tax to pay?  Get me to divinity school.....now!

 But that also means they’re not paying into Social Security so they will not have that when they are older.

And if they're set up in parsonages for much of their career, they are not building a strong credit history. That becomes another challenge later in life if they want to purchase a home or open a line of credit for a large purchase.

[Matty]

When Rebecca tearfully stated "If I lose Zied I'll never find anyone like him again" I laughed out loud. He looks and speaks like a cro-magnon man. A protruding belly and stringy pieces of greasy hair always falling in his face while he grunts out such charming comments as "You. Woman. Married. No." What is the appeal there? What am I missing? Please enlighten me.

Edited October 18, 2019 by Matty

[Gobi]

45 minutes ago, Matty said:

When Rebecca tearfully stated "If I lose Zied I'll never find anyone like him again" I laughed out loud. He looks and speaks like a cro-magnon man. A protruding belly and stringy pieces of greasy hair always falling in his face while he grunts out such charming comments as "You. Woman. Married. No." What is the appeal there? What am I missing? Please enlighten me.

He Tarzan, she Jane.

[Bryce Lynch]

1 hour ago, Matty said:

When Rebecca tearfully stated "If I lose Zied I'll never find anyone like him again" I laughed out loud. He looks and speaks like a cro-magnon man. A protruding belly and stringy pieces of greasy hair always falling in his face while he grunts out such charming comments as "You. Woman. Married. No." What is the appeal there? What am I missing? Please enlighten me.

LOL.  In fairness to Zied, his Tarazn like speech is probably mainly due to the language barrier.  

[RoxiP]

Other languages do not follow the same speech patterns as we do and the translation can be difficult - probably why I've never been able to learn another language.  I'm Texas - we barely speak American!

Edited October 18, 2019 by RoxiP

[Neurochick]

I didn't think Akinyi's father and brother were scary at all.  They were trying, but I didn't fall for it.  Maybe they thought Ben was just another white dude who thinks black men are scary.  

[Mrs. Hanson]

11 hours ago, Matty said:

When Rebecca tearfully stated "If I lose Zied I'll never find anyone like him again" I laughed out loud. He looks and speaks like a cro-magnon man. A protruding belly and stringy pieces of greasy hair always falling in his face while he grunts out such charming comments as "You. Woman. Married. No." What is the appeal there? What am I missing? Please enlighten me.

She is right - she never will find another like him!!

[Spike]

5 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

She is right - she never will find another like him!!

When they made him they broke the mold. And beat the hell out of the mold maker.

[Jeanne222]

What's the normal marrying age in Africa?  Seems Akini might be getting a bit ripe and is not the prize.  Isn't she 26?  She's past prime so dad and brother better not turn off Ben since he seems to be the only one asking!

[DiamondGirl]

54 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

What's the normal marrying age in Africa?  Seems Akini might be getting a bit ripe and is not the prize.  Isn't she 26?  She's past prime so dad and brother better not turn off Ben since he seems to be the only one asking!

Is that like the discount aisle at Walmart?

[PityFree]

1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

What's the normal marrying age in Africa?  Seems Akini might be getting a bit ripe and is not the prize.  Isn't she 26?  She's past prime so dad and brother better not turn off Ben since he seems to be the only one asking!

 If he plays his cards right, I think they’ll pay *him* to marry Akini.

[RealReality]

35 minutes ago, DiamondGirl said:

Is that like the discount aisle at Walmart?

LOL, there is a local store here that has a clearance produce room in the back....lotsa ripe fruit there too.

[Gobi]

25 minutes ago, RealReality said:

LOL, there is a local store here that has a clearance produce room in the back....lotsa ripe fruit there too.

Is it forbidden fruit?

[Iguessnot]

16 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I didn't think Akinyi's father and brother were scary at all.  They were trying, but I didn't fall for it.  Maybe they thought Ben was just another white dude who thinks black men are scary.  

They are a bit intimidating. Mostly due to their commanding presence and direct manner of speaking. However I'm not seeing the big scam so many people are alluding to. Although he failed in providing gifts, he has made it to the bride negotiation stage with just some mourning gifts. No one has put their hands in Ben's wallet like Zeid did with Rebecca. I don't know why a bride price is scandalous but demands for expensive engagement rings, bridal dresses, wedding venues etc. are considered acceptable.

I don't drink at all. But if after a few sips Akinyi is acting like that, Ben has a right to express his concerns. 

I generally like Akinyi, but this week long safari trip alone with Ben is highly suspect for a pastor's daughter. 

That talking head about the forbidden fruit offers was also suspect. Was she saying she has been giving her forbidden fruit to others or was she saying hypothetically men would willing to partake? 

I don't know Kenyan marriage customs, but bride price negotiations are not the end of story. There must be some previous courting or vetting period. A bride price negotiation signals things have moved forward and wedding preparations are made. Anyway Akinyi wants to seal the deal before Ben leaves. 

Ben came to get engaged if they were compatible. I assume he wouldn't sleep with her until marriage, so there's no reason for these rushed negotiations, if his plan was to return home and continue conversing with Akinyi until a wedding was set. Have I missed something?

[Jeanne222]

3 hours ago, PityFree said:

 If he plays his cards right, I think they’ll pay *him* to marry Akini.

Yes that is what I was thinking.

I have no idea on different customs but would guess that in a lot of under developed countries brides go fast and younger than 26. 

I wonder if brother and poppa bear happened to notice the pictures Akini was posting to attract suiters?  I also wonder if that is part of their custom???  lol

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, Iguessnot said:

They are a bit intimidating. Mostly due to their commanding presence and direct manner of speaking.

I don't care that they were black, I care that Ben was a guest in their home and Father Akini spoke to him in such a measured and deep tone when in the TH he was more carefree.  It came off as almost sinister.  Poor Ben sitting there like a deer in the headlights, thinking "Holy hell what did I get myself into?"  He went there to stay at an AirbandB, alone, spend time with Akini and meet her parents. and give gifts and cash for the bride price.  He gets there and nope, no hotel room for you, you are now meeting the elders, Fidel is gonna watch you (and you are staying with him btw - oopsies!)  And now the bride price haul was meant for a funeral.  And Akini is not that keen on being insta-Mom (which is fair to her.)  And Ben is uncomfortable with her drinking, which again I think he overthought it but if it makes him uncomfortable, it makes him uncomfortable.

[Mothra]

My son, who is seriously involved with a young woman from Zimbabwe was over the other day, and I asked him if he'd found out what the bride price would be.  I was sort of joking, sort of wondering for real, and guess what?  He will be paying a bride price!  His girlfriend, who has a PhD and works for a big pharmaceutical company as a senior researcher, is from a sophisticated and high-class family (they were invited to Robert Mugabe's funeral--not the public one, but the private one for family and friends), and there will still be a bride price.  She has been married once before, and there will still be a bride price.  Holy shit.

He is going to Africa in a couple of months.  Holy shit.

I know her father is dead.  I don't know if she has a big brother.  Like I say, holy shit.

[mamadrama]

31 minutes ago, Mothra said:

My son, who is seriously involved with a young woman from Zimbabwe was over the other day, and I asked him if he'd found out what the bride price would be.  I was sort of joking, sort of wondering for real, and guess what?  He will be paying a bride price!  His girlfriend, who has a PhD and works for a big pharmaceutical company as a senior researcher, is from a sophisticated and high-class family (they were invited to Robert Mugabe's funeral--not the public one, but the private one for family and friends), and there will still be a bride price.  She has been married once before, and there will still be a bride price.  Holy shit.

He is going to Africa in a couple of months.  Holy shit.

I know her father is dead.  I don't know if she has a big brother.  Like I say, holy shit.

Does this mean we all finally get a shot at having a real insider on the show?! Hot damn! 

☺ I'm just joking. Seriously, though, that is very interesting.

[Honey]

What bugs me most about the bride price is that if Ben pays everything he has to her family, she will be starting out her married life with no money.  Doesn't her family care about that at all?

[Kareem]

Kills me when Ribekaaa carries on incessantly about telling Zied her big secret because he’s jealous. Maybe he’s just one of those crazy people who hates being LIED TO. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

48 minutes ago, Honey said:

What bugs me most about the bride price is that if Ben pays everything he has to her family, she will be starting out her married life with no money.  Doesn't her family care about that at all?

No, I doubt they do.  It has not been brought up and yes I am 100% speculating, but I am willing to bet that once they are married (doubt it will happen) they will expect $$ sent home to them monthly.  "Rich American Son In Law helps support us!"

[xls]

On 10/13/2019 at 10:23 PM, Silver Bells said:

Tom is a wimp.  He lets his sister have too much say in his life.  They are too close for comfort.

I actually thought his sister said: "He's not a sex man, and he never will be." 🤣🙄

[Hangin Out]

On 10/18/2019 at 12:57 AM, Chalby said:

I agree and disagree with your observations. You and I think the same as I too, am questioning why he needs to find love via internet across the world. Something does not sit well with me re: Ben because of his judgemental tone re: her drinking. As well, his demand that she be a step 'mother' to his son. The boy HAS a mother, and Akini has the right idea when she states she rather be as a friend. Why set her up for failure? She has no idea about parenting, and why should she. She's young and outgoing. I feel like he wants to keep her housebound. I don't feel good about this one. I understand that all of his scenes are probably doctored for lack of excitement, but still, something is wrong...

He appears so innocent and caring.  Bullshit.  He wants a sex slave who is dying to come to America.  Any American woman with half a brain wouldn’t fall for his line of shit.  He’s probably perverted too.  I don’t trust him.  He is not who he appears.

[Takitaki]

3 hours ago, Honey said:

What bugs me most about the bride price is that if Ben pays everything he has to her family, she will be starting out her married life with no money.  Doesn't her family care about that at all?

She said it herself in one episode, it doesn't matter if he goes flat broke because of the bride price. 

I guess they assume a few k wouldn't actually make him broke and that he'd be able to earn more money quickly. 

On 10/18/2019 at 2:46 PM, RealReality said:

I like where this story is going, but where does Angela's solitary egg fit into all this?  

Maybe she trades Mykhul's life for her last egg! 

[Spike]

First hour of the next ep is available on demand.

[sonder]

I’m very behind on this episode this past week. Tom’s sister? That man with her is her husband or boyfriend? Really? 

[Hangin Out]

On 10/13/2019 at 10:43 PM, Adeejay said:

If given all that she has put him through, Benjamin still marries Akinyi, he deserves everything she is going to put him through. 

Seemed to me that Angela was the one who should have apologized to Michael's friends. 

I would like to wipe that smug look off Avery's face.  The little bitch knows that her parents are going to do everything humanly possible to get Omar to the U.S., so she is playing them like a fiddle. If she were my daughter, I would help her pack to move to Syria. 

Rebecca should thank her luck stars that she had a camera crew with her. 

Akini will pay by staying in the house and having kinky sex.

Angela .. I can’t even.

Avery is a wise ass and needs some kind of punishment like not being so ready to jump when she says jump.  Stupid parents.

Rebecca is old and ridiculous and he ONLY wants the green card. “He so much the green card loves”.  Stupid woman.

6 hours ago, sonder said:

I’m very behind on this episode this past week. Tom’s sister? That man with her is her husband or boyfriend? Really? 

Husband, but she loves the brother more.  Twisted.

[Mothra]

14 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Does this mean we all finally get a shot at having a real insider on the show?! Hot damn! 

☺ I'm just joking. Seriously, though, that is very interesting.

Oh, don't worry.  I'm going to report every detail.  Remember, my son was previously engaged to a woman from Vietnam.  They broke up shortly before we paid for the suckling pig to be delivered to her parents on the morning of the wedding.

Something I find interesting is that my husband and I have not yet met this woman from Africa, and they've been going out for months and months.  My son says she's shy; I think she views meeting parents as a big step that maybe she is not prepared to take.  My son makes fun of my TV show choices--who's laughing now?

[AZChristian]

23 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Husband, but she loves the brother more.  Twisted.

I believe they have used the term "partner" to describe their relationship.

[Spike]

19 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I believe they have used the term "partner" to describe their relationship.

He reminds me of the singer from Fine Young Cannibals.

[blubld43]

11 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

He appears so innocent and caring.  Bullshit.  He wants a sex slave who is dying to come to America.  Any American woman with half a brain wouldn’t fall for his line of shit.  He’s probably perverted too.  I don’t trust him.  He is not who he appears.

Exactly. This guy makes me think of Josh Duggar: a hypocritical "religious" man wanting a woman always available to him. Nothing to offer in return, but Akinyi will go for that green card.

She really has no idea how hard life in the US will be without money or a decent credit rating. I can't see this relationship lasting.

Edited October 20, 2019 by blubld43

[HunterHunted]

On 10/19/2019 at 8:36 AM, Jeanne222 said:

What's the normal marrying age in Africa?  Seems Akini might be getting a bit ripe and is not the prize.  Isn't she 26?  She's past prime so dad and brother better not turn off Ben since he seems to be the only one asking!

She's not past her prime. She's still rather young. Additionally, she's college educated which tends to push up the age of marriage in most countries, the USA, China, and Kenya too. As to the average age of first marriage in Africa, are we going to compare it to the average age of first marriage in North America, South America, Europe, or all of Asia. Africa is a continent made up of countries with different cultures. It's quite likely that the age of first marriage is significantly lower in Somalia than it is in Kenya, especially for a young woman from Nairobi and a university education.

20 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I don't care that they were black, I care that Ben was a guest in their home and Father Akini spoke to him in such a measured and deep tone when in the TH he was more carefree.  It came off as almost sinister. 

It turns out that communication styles vary across cultures. Shocking. What one person views as sinister, another might view as serious, measured, and considered. The American penchant for smiling and avoiding "uncomfortable subjects" is viewed as sneaky, frivolous, and silly in other countries. Given that, the family needed to spend more time to get to know Ben so that they can move beyond surface judgments about communication style. Americans aren't particularly direct and that can be maddening to foreigners.

Hell, we're idiosyncratic within the US. We call people from the northeast rude. We say southerners are friendly. I grew up in the northeast. People there aren't really more rude there; they're just direct. I now live in the south. There is veneer of civility and friendliness that has nothing underneath it. As I learned from my super friendly neighbors who watched my house get struck by lightning and only offered a "that's too bad" to me. I had them over for dinner. Meanwhile every time my car had a flat tire in the northeast, I had to wave people away because I had so many offers to help change it. Never once had an offer of the same in the south. I'm not a stunner either and I was, honestly, my hottest when I moved to the south.

Maybe Akinyi's father thinks his tone with Ben should be more serious and measured because Akinyi's father thinks marriage is a serious commitment that lasts a lifetime and bonds two families together. Furthermore, they know Akinyi has never spent anytime around Ben or his people so yeah, it's highly likely that he's going to be a little more serious because the only proof that they have that Ben is a decent guy is from Ben. Akinyi texts, Skypes, and calls him, but for how many hours a week? An hour a day? Even if they contact each other everyday, it will take Akinyi 6 weeks to spend as much time around Ben as the new hire who has been on the job for a week.

Zied's family and Jeniffer's families haven't been particularly friendly either and Zied's sister has been outright rude, but no one accuses them of being scammers when we actually have seen actual proof that Zied and Jeniffer are only really interested in the money.

Michael's friends are a lot more jocular, but they have written off Michael's relationship with Angela as a hilarious catastrophe and would rather laugh about it. I think they've already tried to talk him out of it and would rather watch this disastebacle unfold.

Edited October 20, 2019 by HunterHunted

[Mrs. Hanson]

2 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Zied's family and Jeniffer's families haven't been particularly friendly either and Zied's sister has been outright rude, but no one accuses them of being scammers when we actually have seen actual proof that Zied and Jeniffer are only really interested in the money.

I agree 100% that Zied's family was rude, his sister was downright gangster and frankly I loved every minute of it, as Rebecca coming through the door, breaking stuff and not apologizing....kinda deserved it.   Knowing she was married yet presenting herself as divorced....yeah I kinda loved it.

Just a gentle correction:  I have never implied or accused Family Akini of being scammers.  I do question their rather cool tone when welcoming someone into their house.

I totally agree and support that communication styles are all different across the USA let alone continents.

[cherenkov]

On 10/17/2019 at 1:27 PM, Pepper Mostly said:

Inmates would see naive, shy, socially awkward Ben coming from a mile away. They'd put him through the wringer and he'd flee sobbing.

They'd play him like a fiddle to get favorable reviews for their parole hearings.

[Hangin Out]

8 hours ago, Mothra said:

Oh, don't worry.  I'm going to report every detail.  Remember, my son was previously engaged to a woman from Vietnam.  They broke up shortly before we paid for the suckling pig to be delivered to her parents on the morning of the wedding.

Something I find interesting is that my husband and I have not yet met this woman from Africa, and they've been going out for months and months.  My son says she's shy; I think she views meeting parents as a big step that maybe she is not prepared to take.  My son makes fun of my TV show choices--who's laughing now?

I truly wish them luck.  She’s highly educated, has great credentials and will get a good job in the states if she comes here.  Sounds good to me.  I wouldn’t worry, and she probably comes from a good family.

[Hangin Out]

I don’t remember learning about this” bride price, etc.)  I must have been sleeping in World History class.  Their customs are very weird still.  These people like Akini that come here on the Green card must be beside themselves seeing how we live. One good wind to knock those houses apart in two seconds.  Streets are dirt and rocks and pebbles.  Kids probably have one ball to play with.  Horrible conditions. You name it, the kids here have it.  America the Beautiful.    P.S.  And Avery wants to go to Syria?  What does she know?  Still wet behind the ears and spoiled.

Edited October 20, 2019 by Silver Bells

[Teri313]

Just watching this again. Tim and Jeniffer in the hot tub after the big reveal about Veronica's ring...

Jeniffer: You gave me her trash. I don't want the ring. I'll leave it here. It's her trash.

Tim: [Kind of laughing] It's not her trash.

Jeniffer: She didn't want it. Now you're giving me it. I don't want it. I'm really pissed.

Tim: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

Jeniffer: You bought it for her, not for me. When you bought it and you paid it, you were thinking in her and not in me.

Tim: In my defense, I didn't know you then.

WHAT???

[A-Lo]

Posting here on tonight's show since the new thread is closed for some reason.  It absolutely sickens me to see middle-aged Rebecca groveling at Zied's feet!  Does this woman have no self-esteem whatsoever???

[Gobi]

1 minute ago, A-Lo said:

Posting here on tonight's show since the new thread is closed for some reason.  It absolutely sickens me to see middle-aged Rebecca groveling at Zied's feet!  Does this woman have no self-esteem whatsoever???

 You can post on the live thread.

[Mu Shu]

22 hours ago, xls said:

I actually thought his sister said: "He's not a sex man, and he never will be." 🤣🙄

lol. I thought she said “He’s not a catch ma’am”. 

[A-Lo]

42 minutes ago, Gobi said:

 You can post on the live thread.

How do I get there, Gobi?  Thanks in advance!

[Gobi]

1 minute ago, A-Lo said:

How do I get there, Gobi?  Thanks in advance!

Go to the main 90DF page, Rice a Roni and Google translate thread.