S03.E15: True Colors

[Pepper Mostly]

Poor Akinyi. Finally free of her weird creepy brother and god bothering papa, going to have a nice dinner with her guy, maybe have a couple of drinks and some laughs. Instead she has uptight, priggish, scoldy Ben, who's shocked-SHOCKED-at her loose behavior. 

Darcy and Stacy are living examples of "Don't let this happen to you, kids", aren't they? 

[AussieBabe]

Akinyi creeped me out when she asked Ben about putting his hand "in the cookie jar" and the forbidden fruits. That baby voice really made it all the more skin crawling. She's like a little girl in an adult's body. Then, she said no man has turned her offer of the cookie down. She's creepy as all hell to me.

[readheaded]

Can I just say that it was beyond cruel to include a transvaginal ultrasound, including a shot of the probe, in an episode with Grangela?  There are just some things that can't be undone or unseen.  The trauma is real.

[readheaded]

2 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

No way Angela is 50–anything. 

She looks like a corpse there, complete with the bad make-up they put on dead bodies when they're laid out.

[RealReality]

1. Stacy is a bitch, full stop.  

2. Jenniffer has called Tim a pussy and thrown a beer in his face but he feels disrespected because he had to walk up some stairs?  LOL

3. Rebecca just bought her own engagement ring....zied really did need mom's money to buy her a mother's day gift. LOL.  Ceasar and Rebecca have spent about the same amount on engagement rings for themselves.  Hilarious. 

4. Weim can miss me with her "but what about mom and dad" girl youre in the country.  If you're worried about them then you can take care of them

5.  That clinic m and a went to looked amazing.  So glad TLC is highlighting a medical facility that is modern and expensive.  Clearly catering to high income black people (pictures on the wall were all of black people).  

6.  Angela's one egg......oh boy.

7. Akyini....I just can't.  I know people can get drunk off one drink....I get it.  But something is off about her and I'm always concerned there is a set up.  I kinda feel like she is hoping Ben will see her drunk and try to make a move.  And then something bad will happen.  Wish he'd just go home.  

[charmed1]

19 hours ago, beesknees said:

 What in hell is he doing repacking those candy panties?  And he's not embarrassed getting his luggage checked at some point?

I remember being so angry at how I was made to open my suitcase as they took a stick and rummaged through my things at the Cancun airport. I can’t imagine the reaction when Caesar opened that cheap ass suitcase of his.

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

She can't be much of a drinker, she was hammered after half a margarita! 

It just all felt like an act.  I've been around drunks, and so few ever say "I'm so drunk".....they just......are drunk.  

By the time they get sloppy enough to lay on the table all self awareness has gone out the window.  And the begging for another drink?  It was bizarre, and unlike anything I'd seen in my adventures with drunken friends.  

6 hours ago, brilliantbreakfast said:

If I recall correctly, isn't he Mormon?  He likes black women, and there are not very many black Mormons.

Not sure if you'll get this, but on love after lockup there is a very single black female Mormon.  Damn I wish I could set those 2 up.

[nutella fitzgerald]

2 minutes ago, RealReality said:

It just all felt like an act.  I've been around drunks, and so few ever say "I'm so drunk".....they just......are drunk.  

By the time they get sloppy enough to lay on the table all self awareness has gone out the window.  And the begging for another drink?  It was bizarre, and unlike anything I'd seen in my adventures with drunken friends.  

If anything, they’re more likely to protest that they’re not drunk, what are you talking about, they’re fine! I mean, which is more likely to come out of Darcey’s mouth after a couple of those not-cucumber martinis?

[sonder]

deleted...wrong episode

Edited October 1, 2019 by sonder
I posted on the wrong episode.

[RealReality]

4 hours ago, John M said:

The whole thing is just so weird! Maybe he has like a micropenis or something? I don't understand his apparent complete lack of desire to be physically intimate.

Like, I'm a dolt when it comes to subtle sex signals, but she is telling you she wants to fuck you, do the things.

TMI story, but my ex boyfriend had this issue when we first started dating.  Just couldn't get the little guy going.  I knew it wasn't me because I knew he thought I was cute as a button.  I think he really was intimidated and nervous and I was the first woman be dated after he had divorced his wife.  

He was really frustrated about it and I was mildly annoyed.  We were both patient and it just....happened.  

It sounds like what Tim is describing, but I don't know.....I think even early on my ex-bf and I were just happier in each other's company.  Neither of them seems to be having a good time. 

[RealReality]

10 hours ago, not you again said:

On the other hand, I think Ben/us have finally seen a sliver of the real Akinyi.  Girl has multiple issues that she is trying to keep a lid on until she is ensconced in "near Phoenix, AZ".

This. 

Be Ben a dork or a nerd or a dweeb or whatever, he is smart not to sleep with her because I think that would end horribly for him. 

[Toaster Strudel]

7 hours ago, cinsays said:

I guess I am ignorant about this part of biology...…...can you really see one egg in there?

In most women you'd see follicles, not eggs per se.

Angela's eggs are very easy to see because they have COPD and the ultrasound tech could look for tiny oxygen canisters.

[AussieBabe]

11 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

In most women you'd see follicles, not eggs per se.

Angela's eggs are very easy to see because they have COPD and the ultrasound tech could look for tiny oxygen canisters.

This comment wins for the day. 

[the-grey-lady]

I don't think Darcey or Stacey are looking for husbands to serve as actual partners. I think they're both looking for accessories -- pretty boys to tell them how great and loved they are at all times, and to keep their egos properly inflated.

In both seasons featuring Darcey, she spent hours caterwauling about Jesse and Tom, but she never focused on them as humans, or anything she liked about them, but on how they made HER feel.

The Silva twins are looking for walking, complimenting handbags to validate their attractiveness.

Edited October 1, 2019 by the-grey-lady

[DanaMB]

1 hour ago, Toaster Strudel said:

In most women you'd see follicles, not eggs per se.

Angela's eggs are very easy to see because they have COPD and the ultrasound tech could look for tiny oxygen canisters.

Omg, that made me laugh so loud I scared my cat. 

[Boston]

4 hours ago, readheaded said:

She looks like a corpse there, complete with the bad make-up they put on dead bodies when they're laid out.

FULL DISCLOSURE:  I am 8 yrs older (if her age is right) and I CERTAINLY don't have those wrinkles (some on my neck).. Her eggs are scrambled, as is her brain.. these women are absolutely CUCKOO!!!!!!!!!!!

[mittsigirl]

13 hours ago, Boston said:

I am older than old Ange and I look at least 20 yrs younger.. and I used to smoke.. she's a mess

Same with me, 59 smoked, and look like Angela's daughter!

[mittsigirl]

9 hours ago, nr65000 said:

I just turned 59 and i also have a hard time believing she is just 51.  If she is 51, she is a very, very rough 51.

My mom is 74 and she looks younger than Angela! I just can't believe she is truthful about her age. Just can't believe it.

[Racj82]

22 hours ago, RealReality said:

TMI story, but my ex boyfriend had this issue when we first started dating.  Just couldn't get the little guy going.  I knew it wasn't me because I knew he thought I was cute as a button.  I think he really was intimidated and nervous and I was the first woman be dated after he had divorced his wife.  

He was really frustrated about it and I was mildly annoyed.  We were both patient and it just....happened.  

It sounds like what Tim is describing, but I don't know.....I think even early on my ex-bf and I were just happier in each other's company.  Neither of them seems to be having a good time. 

For a lot of guys, it really is a mental thing. There is a lot of pressure on guys at a certain point. There isn't much that can be done if you aren't getting it up. There is also the fear that you can't live up the expectations. That your TOO excited which will make things come to an end quickly. But, those are also things most men just get over after a certain point. 

Which goes back to one my old points about Tim. How is this the type of woman you are attracted if you are this much of a mental case in bed?

I'm also curious if she is as demanding in bed. Like I could see her being like Let's go! Let's go! That sort of demanding nature isn't great for the little soldier.

Even outside of the bed he has no moves though. Hold your woman. Kiss her. Be romantic. Be playful. Do something man.

Edited October 2, 2019 by Racj82

[Boston]

6 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

Akinyi creeped me out when she asked Ben about putting his hand "in the cookie jar" and the forbidden fruits. That baby voice really made it all the more skin crawling. She's like a little girl in an adult's body. Then, she said no man has turned her offer of the cookie down. She's creepy as all hell to me.

Akinyi is a little girl playing BIG girl games.. I keep screaming at the tv "RUN, BEN, RUN BACK TO YOUR ADORABLE SON"

[Boston]

I'm sorry people but i'm the voice of NO reason.. My Gaydar has always been good.. had a great friend who was gay..however.. TIM, I belive is definitely GAY.. he could not even get it up for Jennifer.. she is not for him and he needs to come out of the closet..Just my opinion

[Mothra]

9 hours ago, John M said:

The whole thing is just so weird! Maybe he has like a micropenis or something? I don't understand his apparent complete lack of desire to be physically intimate.

I'd think micropenis or some abnormality about his genitals might be the problem except that he's had apparently successful sexual relationships (at least two) in the past, so if there is something unusual going on it would seem that he's learned to deal with it.  And all his talk about being "afraid" of her because she's so far out of his league seems bullshittish, too, because she's pretty much a twin of Veronica, with whom he's a little too comfortable.  Weird just begins to describe it--I'm waiting for Tim, like every other participant in this show, to confide to us that he has a secret that might destroy his relationship with Jeffiner.

[eyebleach]

It wasn't just that Ben was worried about her drinking with his son but he was holding back tears because of it?  He's a very odd duck.

Also....Sumit was laughing when Jenny opened the door.  Anyone else notice that?

[Baltimore Betty]

4 hours ago, Boston said:

Akinyi is a little girl playing BIG girl games.. I keep screaming at the tv "RUN, BEN, RUN BACK TO YOUR ADORABLE SON"

I get the feeling this is not her first rodeo, I bet there have been other "Bens" she has paraded in front of her family that did not pass muster, now it is Ben's turn at bat.

[Baltimore Betty]

1 hour ago, not you again said:

I'm a complete lightweight where alcohol is concerned (I got smashed at a wine tasting at Biltmore Estate, for goodness sake!) so I get her perhaps being sloshed after a third of the margarita.  I also wonder if it was one hell of a strong margarita, thanks to production. 

Anybody else concerned that Ben might be being set up by having Akinyi spend the night at his airbnb?  I have this visual of Fidel showing up the next morning and accusing Ben of disrespecting his family by allowing it, and that's a minimum of the trouble.

Bikini did say she told her father she was going on a safari and that her mother knows...what does big brother know?  

My take away is that Bikini lies to her father and brother regularly and tries to get away with what ever she can, that is why I think Ben is getting a hard time from Brother Bikini, he might be tired of the cavalcade of white suiters from the US.  

Bikini's "what if I came out here with just a towel on," comment tells me that she has some experience with the menfolk.

Ben, this is not the girl for you...she will lead you in to temptation!

[Ijustwantsomechips]

12 hours ago, RealReality said:

It just all felt like an act.  I've been around drunks, and so few ever say "I'm so drunk".....they just......are drunk.  

By the time they get sloppy enough to lay on the table all self awareness has gone out the window.  And the begging for another drink?  It was bizarre, and unlike anything I'd seen in my adventures with drunken friends.  

Not sure if you'll get this, but on love after lockup there is a very single black female Mormon.  Damn I wish I could set those 2 up.

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought of the Black lady on Love After Lockup.  Although something tells me Ben wouldn’t be attracted to her. 

[Ijustwantsomechips]

7 hours ago, Racj82 said:

For a lot of guys, it really is a mental thing. There is a lot of pressure on guys at a certain point. There isn't much that can be done if you aren't getting it up. There is also the fear that you can't live up the expectations. That your TOO excited which will make things come to an end quickly. But, those are also things most men just get over after a certain point. 

Which goes back to one my old points about Tim. How is this the type of woman you are attracted if you are this much of a mental case in bed?

I'm also curious if she is as demanding in bed. Like I could see her being like let's go? Let's go! That sort of demanding nature isn't great for the little soldier.

Even outside of the bed he has no moves though. Hold your woman. Kiss her. Be romantic. Be playful. Do something man.

Jenniffer is probably like that bedroom scene in Boomerang with Ann-Marie Johnson and they guy from the Cosby Show.  “To the left, Wayman...the left. The left!”

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I get the feeling this is not her first rodeo, I bet there have been other "Bens" she has paraded in front of her family that did not pass muster, now it is Ben's turn at bat.

I just think there is a LOT more to the story that we, the viewing audience don't know.  But more pertinent..  Ben doesn't know the whole story and doesn't know the game he is involved in.  Ben is playing checkers.....everyone else is playing chess. 

2 hours ago, not you again said:

Anybody else concerned that Ben might be being set up by having Akinyi spend the night at his airbnb?  I have this visual of Fidel showing up the next morning and accusing Ben of disrespecting his family by allowing it, and that's a minimum of the trouble.

This is exactly my fear for Ben.  

Akyini's drunkenness came off as an act to me, like hoping Ben would ply her with more drinks and she could throw herself at him and say she was taken advantage of while she is drunk (after Fidel/dad show up)

There was also her trying to seduce ben at the Airbnb while admitting that her dad doesn't know she is there is like she is hoping he would sleep with her and then she could say she was taken advantage of (when Fidel/dad show up)

I feel she has overplayed her hand and overestimated the power of her lady bits, but if there wasn't a camera crew she would be able to say anything.  

[OFDgal]

13 hours ago, readheaded said:

She looks like a corpse there, complete with the bad make-up they put on dead bodies when they're laid out.

I've seen better looking dead bodies at wakes.

[RealReality]

4 minutes ago, OFDgal said:

I've seen better looking dead bodies at wakes.

And their eggs were probably more viable.

[BallisticNikki]

18 hours ago, gingerella said:

I don't think Jehovah gets all that much air time in most other Christian churches, or does he? 

Many use the term Jehova. Not just JW.

18 hours ago, cinsays said:

I wonder if she purposely acted more drunk than she was so he would decide to stop pursuing her and just go back home. But he is either too dumb or too desperate to get that.

Why would you think she wants him to stop pursuing her?

15 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I am not trying to sound goulish but she looks like an embalmed body in a casket.

Definitely!

13 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

Akinyi creeped me out when she asked Ben about putting his hand "in the cookie jar" and the forbidden fruits. That baby voice really made it all the more skin crawling. She's like a little girl in an adult's body. Then, she said no man has turned her offer of the cookie down. She's creepy as all hell to me.

Yes! I can't watch her anymore!

6 hours ago, Racj82 said:

For a lot of guys, it really is a mental thing. ...That your TOO excited which will make things come to an end quickly.

Couldn't he just rub one out in the bathroom?

1 hour ago, not you again said:

I have this visual of Fidel showing up the next morning and accusing Ben of disrespecting his family by allowing it, and that's a minimum of the trouble.

Yes, plz! Too funny. (As long as Akinyi leaves.)

1 hour ago, not you again said:

According to Charlie Murphy (Eddie's late brother) he could also whip your ass in basketball, and make delicious pancakes.  

He said even in a silk blouse and heels, Prince would whoop your ass on the bball court! 😂

[RealReality]

6 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

He said even in a silk blouse and heels, Prince would whoop your ass on the bball court! 

"Shirts vs. Blouses"

Top 5 Chapelle show skit

For those of you who are curious

Edited October 1, 2019 by RealReality

[Lady Iris]

30 minutes ago, OFDgal said:

I've seen better looking dead bodies at wakes.

This is not untrue. I'm such a sap though, I felt a twinge of compassion for her when she somewhat sheepishly admitted her last period was 7 months previous. I mean c'mon. You know deep down in your cigarette stained soul there's no way you're giving Mykull a baby.

[Baltimore Betty]

11 minutes ago, Lady Iris said:

This is not untrue. I'm such a sap though, I felt a twinge of compassion for her when she somewhat sheepishly admitted her last period was 7 months previous. I mean c'mon. You know deep down in your cigarette stained soul there's no way you're giving Mykull a baby.

7 months ago, in dog years?

I have no compassion for that woman, a conversation about wanting to start a family along with other expectations are usually had before you get engaged, these people are stupid.  They seem to gloss over the important details like, do you have a language in common, do you have a job and a place to live, do you want children, how can we save for the visa, what will the day to day be like in whatever country you are going to be living in?  

But then again, this all BS for the show, Big Ang got an internal sonogram on TV for no reason.

[Kellyee]

Quote

Akyini's drunkenness came off as an act to me, like hoping Ben would ply her with more drinks and she could throw herself at him and say she was taken advantage of while she is drunk (after Fidel/dad show up)

I don't know what that was about, other than a harsh reminder that these people are planning to marry someone they barely know. Akyini came off very innocent and sheltered at first, like the good Christian girl Ben is seeking. But now I'm not so sure. She didn't sound like a virgin when she was talking about how no other guy has ever turned her down. But Ben is also sounding increasingly judgmental.

Am I the only one who assumed that Angela had to be in menopause already this whole time? She's in her 50's. I think it would be rare if she wasn't in menopause or experiencing serious peri-menopause at this point. Either way, a simple Google search would have told her that no reputable fertility doctor would try to use a 53 year old woman's eggs to produce a pregnancy. 

Darcy has a serious drinking problem. Jesse was right. She could barely keep her eyes open when she was whining about how nobody loves her or whatever. Tom should run. 

[libgirl2]

4 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

I don't know what that was about, other than a harsh reminder that these people are planning to marry someone they barely know. Akyini came off very innocent and sheltered at first, like the good Christian girl Ben is seeking. But now I'm not so sure. She didn't sound like a virgin when she was talking about how no other guy has ever turned her down. But Ben is also sounding increasingly judgmental.

Darcy has a serious drinking problem. Jesse was right. She could barely keep her eyes open when she was whining about how nobody loves her or whatever. Tom should run. 

I'm starting to think that Akyini got "drunk" hoping she could hit on Ben or vice versa and pass it off on the alcohol. She was just way  too drunk on that small bit she had. She knows her way around men. She would not make a good wife for Ben like this. She plays an act, she won't live it. 

I never thought Jesse was right until this season. 

1 hour ago, BallisticNikki said:

He said even in a silk blouse and heels, Prince would whoop your ass on the bball court! 😂

I can believe it. Wasn't one of the reasons he was on painkillers was from wearing heels and jumping around in them for so many years? Aww... Prince, you are missed. 

[calpurnia99]

I was surprised that Ben didn't say that he didn't like that she lied to her father. He seemed okay with that? To me that was a big sin. 

[RoxiP]

I don't particularly see Ben as judgmental.  I think that he thought he was coming to meet a young, beautiful, innocent (but of appropriate age) girl and he is finding out that she might not be what she portrayed herself to be.  If you live by a certain Christian code (abstinence, no alcohol, etc.) and your partner holds themselves out to be the same and then you find out that isn't true I would think you have a right to be a little miffed!  

This isn't judging Akinyi for her choices by the way.  If she chooses to drink and if she has had sex before in the past (because certainly Ben has) that is not an issue, but if she hasn't been honest about it then it is a problem because it is kind of a bait and switch situation.  More concerning to me, however, is how is she going to treat my child.  And lying to her father (and her mother knowing) - that is NOT COOL!

Edited October 1, 2019 by RoxiP

[libgirl2]

5 minutes ago, RoxiP said:

I don't particularly see Ben as judgmental.  I think that he thought he was coming to meet a young, beautiful, innocent (but of appropriate age) girl and he is finding out that she might not be what she portrayed herself to be.  If you live by a certain Christian code (abstinence, no alcohol, etc.) and your partner holds themselves out to be the same and then you find out that isn't true I would think you have a right to be a little miffed!  

This isn't judging Akinyi for her choices by the way.  If she chooses to drink and if she has had sex before in the past (because certainly Ben has) that is not an issue, but if she hasn't been honest about it then it is a problem because it is kind of a bait and switch situation.  More concerning to me, however, is how is she going to treat my child.  And lying to her father (and her mother knowing) - that is NOT COOL!

That is teenage behavior. 

[Mothra]

3 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

I'm starting to think that Akyini got "drunk" hoping she could hit on Ben or vice versa and pass it off on the alcohol. She was just way  too drunk on that small bit she had. She knows her way around men. She would not make a good wife for Ben like this. She plays an act, she won't live it. 

I never thought Jesse was right until this season. 

Isn't that a kick in the head, that that asshole was right about something.  We all owe Windmill Guy a big fat apology.

I do think Akinyi was genuinely drunk after half a margarita.  I think she is a person who is not accustomed to alcohol--she didn't know what a margarita was, after all, compared to some of the young people in the franchise who drink "medical-grade" alcohol--slurping down a sweet drink on an empty stomach.

Ben is coming across as a prude, what with his horror at her drinking and at her wanting to have sex with him.  Now that she's received approval to marry him, she seems a different person, when I would have expected him to be the one ready to relax the rules.

I think it's dawned on him that she isn't the person he thought she was, that she's a lot less mature than she comes across as when she's under the authoritarian thumb, and he doesn't like it.  As others have posted, he wants a preacher's wife, not a goofy might-as-well-be-a teenager whose idea of a good time is getting drunk and fucking and not-NOT-being a stepmother to his kid.  His idea of a good time apparently is Fanta, missionary position but only after marriage, and childcare.

And here is his way out, and his revenge:  Tell her she must obtain the approval of his son and *his* church elders, and must pass a virginity test.

[Lesia]

21 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

Its odd but they seem to get along quite nicely in Pillow Talk. 

exactly! which makes me think more and more it's all fake.  but really... the making out at the cluuub between Florian and Stacy- so juvenile, it would make anyone uncomfortable.

[chickenella]

5 hours ago, not you again said:

20 hours ago, Mothra said:

Maybe Steven Tyler?

YES!  A previous poster said Michael Hutchence; he was a bit young for my horny youth.  LOL

I will also love Alice Cooper to my dying day, but I'm not sure I ever thought about getting busy with him.  

I have to add David Johansen in his New York Dolls years. And Marc Bolan of T.Rex. Both did some gender bending, both sexy IMHO.

[libgirl2]

3 minutes ago, chickenella said:

I have to add David Johansen in his New York Dolls years. And Marc Bolan of T.Rex. Both did some gender bending, both sexy IMHO.

Marc Bolan was beautiful. See you can do gender bending right? Hear that Tim. 

[Bryce Lynch]

A couple of notes of religious affiliation:

I believe Benjamin attends a Free Methodist Church.  Seems to be a more traditional, conservative version of Methodism, that was seeking to get back more to the Holiness teachings of John Wesley.   It seems similar to a middle of the road, relaxed but conservative Evangelical Church 

Akinyi's church is not Jehovah's Witness.  The JW's are a sect with very, different teachings from mainstream Christendom, most notably that they deny the Deity of Jesus Christ.    I am not sure of the denomination,, but they seem to be rather conservative and possibly Pentecostal, based upon the impassioned style of prayer. 

Jehovah is a transliteration of the Hebrew name for God.  It isn't used all that often in American churches to address God.  "Father, Lord or God" would be more common.     When Akinyi's father said Jehovah, it just meant God.  

[RealReality]

8 minutes ago, Mothra said:

Isn't that a kick in the head, that that asshole was right about something.  We all owe Windmill Guy a big fat apology.

I do think Akinyi was genuinely drunk after half a margarita.  I think she is a person who is not accustomed to alcohol--she didn't know what a margarita was, after all, compared to some of the young people in the franchise who drink "medical-grade" alcohol--slurping down a sweet drink on an empty stomach.

Ben is coming across as a prude, what with his horror at her drinking and at her wanting to have sex with him.  Now that she's received approval to marry him, she seems a different person, when I would have expected him to be the one ready to relax the rules.

I think it's dawned on him that she isn't the person he thought she was, that she's a lot less mature than she comes across as when she's under the authoritarian thumb, and he doesn't like it.  As others have posted, he wants a preacher's wife, not a goofy might-as-well-be-a teenager whose idea of a good time is getting drunk and fucking and not-NOT-being a stepmother to his kid.  His idea of a good time apparently is Fanta, missionary position but only after marriage, and childcare.

Maybe she was drunk, but having spent time with people who got drunk I haven't met one who proclaimed "I'm so drunk!"  after a drink.....or ever really.  By the time they are drunk they don't really care that they are drunk or what that means.  

Drunk people just....are

And, maybe Ben is a prude, but if my s/o was behaving like a sloppy ass drunk in a restaurant and laying on the table, embarrassing me and acting the fool I wouldn't want them having more liquor either.  

They weren't at a club or a bar they were at a restaurant having dinner and getting to know each other.  If they were at a club/bar and he was essentially forewarned that drinking would be part of the night ......okay.....but they were just at a normal dinner.   and now he has to deal with a sloppy drunk?  

[libgirl2]

13 minutes ago, Bryce Lynch said:

A couple of notes of religious affiliation:

I believe Benjamin attends a Free Methodist Church.  Seems to be a more traditional, conservative version of Methodism, that was seeking to get back more to the Holiness teachings of John Wesley.   It seems similar to a middle of the road, relaxed but conservative Evangelical Church 

Akinyi's church is not Jehovah's Witness.  The JW's are a sect with very, different teachings from mainstream Christendom, most notably that they deny the Deity of Jesus Christ.    I am not sure of the denomination,, but they seem to be rather conservative and possibly Pentecostal, based upon the impassioned style of prayer. 

Jehovah is a transliteration of the Hebrew name for God.  It isn't used all that often in American churches to address God.  "Father, Lord or God" would be more common.     When Akinyi's father said Jehovah, it just meant God.  

I've heard Jehovah used by various denominations. Yes, the Witnesses are not traditional Christians in the sense that they do not believe in the Trinity or the Deity of Jesus. 

[BallisticNikki]

1 hour ago, RoxiP said:

I don't particularly see Ben as judgmental. ... If you live by a certain Christian code (abstinence, no alcohol, etc.) and your partner holds themselves out to be the same and then you find out that isn't true I would think you have a right to be a little miffed!

But whose Christian code?? The Bible never prohibits drinking alcohol! (It does prohibit drunkenness but did anyone anticipate she'd get drunk from one drink?) And Ben is DIVORCED! It's a sin to remarry, according to the Bible unless the divorce was due to infidelity (which he didn't claim...said it was due to trust issues). In many churches, divorced/remarried ppl cannot be pastors.

So what's really going on here? Both seem to be falling short.

1 hour ago, libgirl2 said:

I never thought Jesse was right until this season. 

That Darcey has a drinking prblm? I could tell she prbly overdid it. But to me, there are deeper issues; the drinking is just the outward sign. She's just too sensitive and insecure!

Edited October 1, 2019 by BallisticNikki

[libgirl2]

3 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

But whose Christian code?? The Bible never prohibits drinking alcohol! (It does prohibit drunkenness but did anyone anticipate she'd get drunk from one drink?) And Ben is DIVORCED! It's a sin to remarry, according to the Bible unless the divorce was due to infidelity (which he didn't claim...said it was due to trust issues). In many churches, divorced/remarried ppl cannot be pastors.

So what's really going on here? Both seem to be falling short.

That Darcey has a drinking prblm? I could tell she prbly overdid it. But to me, there are deeper issues; the drinking is just the outward sign. She's just too sensitive and insecure!

don't forget Jesse said she had to "work on herself" too. She does. 

[Mr. Miner]

1 hour ago, libgirl2 said:

I can believe it. Wasn't one of the reasons he was on painkillers was from wearing heels and jumping around in them for so many years? Aww... Prince, you are missed. 

Many guitarists have hip problems. Eddie Van Halen had a hip replacement. Tom Petty overdosed trying to combat severe hip pain.

[Bryce Lynch]

9 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

But whose Christian code?? The Bible never prohibits drinking alcohol! (It does prohibit drunkenness but did anyone anticipate she'd get drunk from one drink?) And Ben is DIVORCED! It's a sin to remarry, according to the Bible unless the divorce was due to infidelity (which he didn't claim...said it was due to trust issues). In many churches, divorced/remarried ppl cannot be pastors.

So what's really going on here? Both seem to be falling short.

That Darcey has a drinking prblm? I could tell she prbly overdid it. But to me, there are deeper issues; the drinking is just the outward sign. She's just too sensitive and insecure!

Bikini and her family made an issue about Ben being divorced, and I think it was an appropriate reason.   I assume they believe the grounds of his divorce would justify him remarrying.  It is possible that Ben's ex-wife was unfaithful, but he didn't want to embarrass the mother ofh his son (or himself) by speaking about it on TV.   Abandonment by an unbelieving spouse is considered grounds by many or most conservative Christian churches as well.   (1 Corinthians 7:15-16)

I don't think Benjamin was condemning Bikini as a sinner, for getting drunk that one time.  I took it more as him wondering if she is a big drinker or perhaps if she is one of those people who get hooked the first time they try a substance.   

I also think her earlier attempts to seduce him combined with her lying to her father about where she was and then getting drunk and demanding more margaritas made him question whether she was the demure, conservative Christian woman she portrayed herself as, or something very different.   

It might not be as bad as all that and maybe he will look past it.  But, I think it is good that Benjamin is taking these possible warning signs seriously, as opposed to ignoring them or explaining them away, the way a lot of the idiots on the 90 Days shows do.