S09.E07: Where Is My Husband?

[pdlinda]

28 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

I guess I'm in the minority, but I see nothing wrong with what Amber has done in the texting, at least as shown here, but see some pretty dickish behavior on the part of Matt (again, at least until we find out something more):

• I've been married almost 11 years and would never want my spouse to come home to find that I'm not there, and with no idea where I am or how long I'll be gone (nor would he ever do that to me), which is clear from her first text that that's what happened.  To me, that's dick move #1 on his part.
• Then she waits 3 more hours before texting him again, a perfectly reasonable amount of time given that now it is encroaching into dinner and she wants to know if he will be back in time to eat with her.  But he doesn't give her the courtesy of answering her very simple question, dick move #2
• She waits 1 more hour, and now she's trying to get a feel for the rest of the evening, so she sends another reasonable text trying to find out; again he doesn't give her the courtesy of an answer, dick move #3
• She waits two more hours, and now it's bedtime, and it's been 6 hours since he's been gone, so she sends a text that gets more worried, and I don't blame her one bit; again, he doesn't give her the courtesy of an answer, dick move #4
• She waits two more hours, so it's now been 8 freaking hours since he's been gone and since she's heard from him.  She is now in full-on panic, and again, I don't blame girlfriend one little bit, cause now you move from being pissed to being worried if he's OK.

I'm surprised that there's so much hate for her in this situation.

To me he's being passive aggressive.  He doesn't want to tell her they're THROUGH.  He'd rather "act out" in this way so she'll (hopefully from his perspective) be angry enough to leave him (his goal and objective.)

BTW, I am ASTONISHED that Amber's school district is comfortable with a middle school TEACHER prancing around semi-nude in her home for the world to see.  This is very unprofessional, especially for that age group of students.  It doesn't reflect the level of professionalism that most people expect from those who we believe serve as role models for our children.  That's aside from her emotional histrionics that suggest she has behavioral issues that should be addressed professionally.  How she could ever walk into a middle school classroom again is simply beyond my comprehension.

[LennieBriscoe]

32 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

I wonder if either of these two have developed sufficient emotional and/or intellectual depth to act as mature adults in a significant relationship.

Well, Jamie seems to have wanted a serious discussion about his emotional commitment, so I think he has such depth. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that his "insults" about Elizabeth's job (seriously, why would any husband care that his wife contributed to their household income from working for her father? Nepotism, schmepotism!)  were producer-driven, but that Brassy Red's retorts were hers for real. 

I don't think Amber needs therapy over this moment, nor do I think her display of emotions was "histrionic." I think she fell for her "hot husband" At First Sight and now, post-honeymoon, feels like she might have checked into Heartbreak Hotel. "catch u later" to his bride of, what? A month? Wow, what a Romeo. Hold me back.

Maybe Matt and Jamie could go commiserate in a bar. Jamie can berate Matt for not really having a job, and Matt can promise to pay his share of the tab...in eight years.

Edited July 26, 2019 by LennieBriscoe

[PityFree]

Matt hasn’t ever said anything about Ambers looks, has he?

[qtpye]

Iris and Greg have traded places for me.

At first I thought Iris was so pretty. There was a moment on the honeymoon where she was lounging in a saffron colored robe and she almost looked like a beautiful African sculpture come to life. In contrast I found Greg kinda homely and funny looking.

Now, I am swooning over Greg and his patience with his bride. The man is a catch.

Now Iris reminds me of one those nasty  old lady aunties everyone tries to avoid. The type that won’t let you sit on the good furniture that is always covered in plastic. Heck, Iris’s mom seems more hip and cool than her daughter. I have a hunch hot Keith ain’t feeling herl like that.

Iris has to take into account that these are Keith’s good friends and this is the first time they are hanging out with her since the wedding. She made a very bad first impression and probably embarrassed Keith at least a little bit. She should have waited till after the party was over to discuss the lemonade.

I think Amber is kinda cute. However, Matt is totally out of her league looks wise. I think she is so blinded by his good looks that she had not figured out he is a bit of a dim bulb. She might find out that her middle school students are pontificating scholars compared to her husband.

Matt looks like an an animal caught in a trap of his own making. He probably did this show to get some quick cash (again dim bulb) and now realizes because of the height difference, he is going to look like Godzilla trying to stomp Minnie Mouse when he eventually dumps Amber. 

I was offended by the Caucasian sex comment and I’m not even white. Perhaps Sargent Pepper could explain to Red the difference between Vanilla and Caucasian so she no longer gets confused at the ice cream store.

[2727]

Matt likely ghosted Amber overnight on purpose in order to goad her into leaving. I think he's one of the top assholes on all seasons of the show, and that's saying something.

Jamie said Beth knew he was sensitive about his parents' divorce, but neither of them are exactly paragons of truth and at this point I take nothing they say at face value.

If Beth wants more sexual adventurousness from Jamie, it's on her to suggest it/take the lead. It's also another of her lies -- either to the audience about their sex being good, or to Jamie about it being bad in order to hurt him.

There's a lid for every pot, etc., but I think Matt is homely as hell.

Edited July 26, 2019 by 2727

[gonecrackers]

5 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Matt looks like an an animal caught in a trap of his own making. He probably did this show to get some quick cash (again dim bulb) and now realizes because of the height difference, he is going to look like Godzilla trying to stomp Minnie Mouse when he eventually dumps Amber. 

This.  I feel Matt knew from the beginning Amber wasn't his type. He should've pumped those brakes early on, held off on the sex & not encouraged her.  He looks terrified right now. Matt deserves it, but he's going to hurt someone who is already quite damaged. Dim douche bulb.

34 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

To me he's being passive aggressive.  He doesn't want to tell her they're THROUGH.  He'd rather "act out" in this way so she'll (hopefully from his perspective) be angry enough to leave him (his goal and objective.)

BTW, I am ASTONISHED that Amber's school district is comfortable with a middle school TEACHER prancing around semi-nude in her home for the world to see.  This is very unprofessional, especially for that age group of students.  It doesn't reflect the level of professionalism that most people expect from those who we believe serve as role models for our children.  That's aside from her emotional histrionics that suggest she has behavioral issues that should be addressed professionally.  How she could ever walk into a middle school classroom again is simply beyond my comprehension.

This too. Honestly the way most people act on this show I'm amazed they can face anyone after instead of moving & getting a new identity.  

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, LuvMyShows said:

And as for the fellow employees, it's worse than just that she'll always be right.  It's that the dad/boss already said something to the effect that she won't have to live up to her responsibilities like everyone else will have to.

That was fucked up of her dad to say (I mean, you already know he'd favor her but he shouldn't SAY it, and she shouldn't laugh like it's cute) and it's setting her up for the other employees to hate her. The boss's daughter should come into that situation with some humility, particularly if she's not that qualified (I have no idea if she is or isn't, but if she isn't she should keep her head down and learn).

2 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

She's plenty cute without makeup

Amber has nice clear skin. She does look cute without makeup. She could do with some hair styling though.

I have a friend who is married to a pro athlete and while she likes sports, she's not a tomboy. She's not a "real housewife" type either; she's just ... kind of middle of the road, in terms of her interest in sports. (Conventionally attractive, though. She doesn't dress to the nines every day; she has kids so that's not practical, but she's naturally very attractive. Always has been.)

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

The other day I was talking to a child-free friend and I asked her if she ever got ragged on for not wanting kids and she said she did, and I said hmmmm...nobody ever ragged on me at all.  She said, "Maybe they thought you shouldn't have kids."  Touché!

I know I've mentioned her here, but one of my best friends has never wanted kids. People definitely gave her shit (less so now). Her parents didn't. I'm not sure if her MIL did (her husband's father died long before she met her husband), and I know she told her MIL up front that kids were not in the cards. But other people in her life definitely did. Usually people she wasn't that close to, like coworkers.

[gonecrackers]

I can't see Liz acting or dressing like a professional. I wonder what she's done with herself employment-wise up to this point. Did she sign up for this show or was she recruited from a local strip joint...

[Ohwell]

22 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Now Iris reminds me of one those nasty  old lady aunties everyone tries to avoid. The type that won’t let you sit on the good furniture that is always covered in plastic.

Yes!  I had one of those aunties.  I loved her but she was a pain in the ass, lol.  I didn't mind when she came to visit us but I hated to go to her house and have to sit on her plastic covered couch.  She would even wipe it when you got up from it, lol.

Sadly, you hit the nail on the head about Iris.  I see her becoming Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son.

  

[pdlinda]

43 minutes ago, 2727 said:

There's a lid for every pot, etc., but I think Matt is homely as hell.

DITTO!!

[topanga]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

I think she's an ass. This is not a marriage of years and with two people who love and care for each other and thus would not do what Matt did. It's a brand new coupling of strangers that is clearly not a match. He said he was out with a friend and would catch her later.

True,  but doesn’t Amber deserve even the slightest amount of decency?  None of the other spouses have treated each other this way. The closest was when Jamie and Beth miscommunicated on the honeymoon and were apart for two hours. She was pissed, he initially disregarded her feelings, but eventually they talked about it and worked it out.  I know Jamie and Beth practically hate each other now, but that’s another story.

Remember when Ryan stayed out all evening with his boys, and Danyelle (?) was upset and hurt because he didn’t communicate with her? I remember people calling him out for being a jerk. 

IMO, Matt doesn’t get a pass to treat Amber like shit just because he doesn’t want her. She didn’t ask to get matched with him, just like he didn’t ask for her. Matt needs to sit down with Amber and be honest about his feelings. The show wouldn’t want to air him showing his hand this early in the season, but needy, delusional Amber still has hope that this marriage is going to work. Matt needs to be an adult and stop stringing her along. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I would think going on any of these reality shows would be professional suicide in your given career unless you expect this to just not go back. Amber seems like she has poor judgement in general. Maybe she’ll move on though instead of sticking around only to be hurt  

I can totally see Iris on her porch with curlers in her hair, housecoat and rolling pin in hand yelling, “Get outta my yard!”  

[Gem 10]

12 hours ago, Captain Asshat said:

I think Jamie and Beth's fight was stupid and avoidable.

Beth was asking questions to get to know Jamie and his family better. It was a logical topic, since they'd spent the afternoon with his dad and step mom. He could have stopped his comments after he expressed that it was painful and he doesn't like to talk about it. IIRC, Beth apologized and stated she was just trying to get to know him, or something like that. Then he goes off on Beth and her working for her dad. 

I agree that Beth and her dad were a bit sketchy when answering questions about her job during the brunch. It sounds like this is a recent thing, and duties haven't been really outlined. You'd think if you're about to start a position somewhere, you and your boss would know what you're doing. But she is 30. It's safe to assume she's had other jobs before. Jamie could have asked, "So what have you done in the past, and why are you going to work for your dad now?" No. He went off on calling the job a handout and even put her down for not having finished her degree. And, to be fair, she put down the idea of a degree when put on the defensive. This is where the conversation went south, and neither of them looked good. Is the job nepotism? Definitely. But will she be performing an actual job function for the company? Still unknown. She did not express herself well and seemed really flustered, as if being interrogated. I totally get that. I am the same way and have that very issue with my current boss. But I digress. Anyway...for Jamie to call the job a "handout" was kind of uncalled for. It's completely possible to work for a parent and *earn* your paycheck, even if you got the job because it's Dad's business. Family businesses are things that exist. When she said she'd gotten a job offer for every position she's interviewed for, and he replied with "Was your dad the interviewer," it was just a dickish reply. At that point, I felt he had no respect for her and no interest in listening to anything she had to say. He just wanted to get some jabs in, and she did not respond well to that. Then again, who would?

I’m laughing.  They are low blowing each other after only two weeks.  I was still in honeymoon mood at two weeks.  Wait until 30 years or more .... haha.

[princelina]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

I’m laughing.  They are low blowing each other after only two weeks.  I was still in honeymoon mood at two weeks.  Wait until 30 years or more .... haha.

Yet from what I recall these are the first ever to say "I love you" on their honeymoon 😃

[Ilovepie]

4 hours ago, 2727 said:

There's a lid for every pot, etc., but I think Matt is homely as hell.

That’s funny, I find Jamie super unattractive. After the first week all I could see was Uncle Fester from Addams Family.....

Matt does seem kind of a dim bulb though, so also not real appealing to me either.

And don’t get me started on Jamie’s clingy work out shirts or Matt’s pulled up socks w/ shorts 😝

[STRIDER1]

6 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

I guess I'm in the minority, but I see nothing wrong with what Amber has done in the texting, at least as shown here, but see some pretty dickish behavior on the part of Matt (again, at least until we find out something more):

• I've been married almost 11 years and would never want my spouse to come home to find that I'm not there, and with no idea where I am or how long I'll be gone (nor would he ever do that to me), which is clear from her first text that that's what happened.  To me, that's dick move #1 on his part.
• Then she waits 3 more hours before texting him again, a perfectly reasonable amount of time given that now it is encroaching into dinner and she wants to know if he will be back in time to eat with her.  But he doesn't give her the courtesy of answering her very simple question, dick move #2
• She waits 1 more hour, and now she's trying to get a feel for the rest of the evening, so she sends another reasonable text trying to find out; again he doesn't give her the courtesy of an answer, dick move #3
• She waits two more hours, and now it's bedtime, and it's been 6 hours since he's been gone, so she sends a text that gets more worried, and I don't blame her one bit; again, he doesn't give her the courtesy of an answer, dick move #4
• She waits two more hours, so it's now been 8 freaking hours since he's been gone and since she's heard from him.  She is now in full-on panic, and again, I don't blame girlfriend one little bit, cause now you move from being pissed to being worried if he's OK.

I'm surprised that there's so much hate for her in this situation.

I went back and re-watched that part again and amber said that she "called matt 4 times and that he didnt answer."

Then later on that "not only did he not call or texted her back but that his phone now is going straight to voicemail."

So it seems that matt not only ignored ambers attempts to reach him but then decided to turn off his phone to prevent "being bothered" any further by her. mega ouch.

So that also counts as another major dick move in my book.

The timestamp shows that amber got home at 4:37pm and he ignored her until her last video timestamp at 2:14am. So thats at least 10 hours that hes been out and basically giving amber the middle finger the entire freaking time.

And who knows when he did eventually get back home, could be 3 or 4am or even later.

How late he stays out is his business, IDGAF about that part. but at least have the common sense and decency to reply back (text or call) and let her know whats going on.

It was really shitty what matt did and pretty f@%#ed up to treat someone like that, regardless of who it is. 

This gif is for you matt you dumb ass groot . . . 

Edited July 26, 2019 by STRIDER1

[nutella fitzgerald]

Did anyone else think of all the buzz over the possible Confederate flag when Elizabeth brought up Caucasian sex?

[STRIDER1]

13 minutes ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

Did anyone else think of all the buzz over the possible Confederate flag when Elizabeth brought up Caucasian sex?

IMO probably not. big red chardonnay was flustered that jamie was low blowing her for not finishing college and the job nepotism thing and she was just mouthing off whatever incoherent words popped into her mind, such as Sargent pepper lol

She was rattled and thought she made sense when in fact she did not hahaha

But then again, who knows right? lol anything is possible in this crazy wacky show lol

Edited July 26, 2019 by STRIDER1

[Jeanne222]

For all the immediate sex in their marriage Jamie and Elizabeth  surely went straight for the juggler!  Wow!

Matt seemed relaxed and comfortable with Ambers family.  He's miserable with her!

Iris better settle down!I

Deonne seems to like Gregg more and more!

[Yeah No]

I think the reason Deonna is keeping Greg at a physical distance is because of her past baggage.  She was just the opposite when she was younger and that's why for the past ten years she's stayed away from relationships altogether.  I didn't realize this until this episode.  Originally I thought she was an ice queen from way back, but she's just afraid she's going to jump into a physical relationship too soon and repeat a bad pattern she started when she was young.  I was very happy to see that she has made some progress in letting her walls down with Greg.  Baby steps for sure, but still progress.  Greg is a great guy and thankfully I don't think that's lost on her.  She just doesn't want to jinx it and is erring on the side of caution.  Good for her.  I also think their talks on-camera are being edited heavily because she may not want to talk publicly about some of the "situationships" from her distant past.

Iris is just too highly strung.  I wouldn't like my husband's friends rifling through my fridge without asking first either, but her reaction was way out of proportion to the "offense".  I understand why Keith reacted the way he did, but to try to pin it on her being an only child was in my opinion unfair.  I'm an only child and before I was married I shared fridges with family, workmates and roommates with no problem.  Plus a lot of people with siblings would not have liked his friends going into the fridge without permission either.  The reason Iris is the way she is has nothing to do with being an only child.   In some ways she seems to have lead a sheltered existence, but that could be true of kids with siblings too.  She also seems not to have grown up in some ways, which also has nothing to do with being an only child.  Keith's reaction was a little misplaced, but I think he's getting tired of Iris' strange rules and regulations about everything and he saw this as yet another example of that.

Mr. Bone-head Matt strikes again - In addition to what he said about kids in 8 years he said something about not knowing if he was ready to be stuck with his children's mother on a long term basis or something to that effect, thus revealing his total lack of readiness for any kind of real marital commitment.  Which of course begs the question as to why he signed on to get married to anyone, let alone Amber.  He acts like he was trapped into this marriage, not like he did it voluntarily.  Unless it's just that he feels trapped with Amber in particular.  I think as people have pointed out, he was just saying those things because he's not into Amber and was sending out another coded message to create distance between them.  They are a real match from hell because she is clingy to begin with but with a guy that's not into her she is scary-clingy, which is only further driving him away, which is why Mr. Bone-head reacted in knee-jerk fashion by not coming home.  Eye roll.  🙄

Jamie and Elizabeth - This was an example of her stepping on a minefield with asking him about his parents' divorce, then him reacting with a cutting remark and her taking out a hack saw and going for the jugular in response.  It devolved way too quickly into mud slinging and airing of dirty laundry.  These are the kinds of things people say that can't be taken back.  What made it ten times worse is that it was done in front of the cameras and so it was completely public and humiliating.   Although he shared a hand in it, the fact that she could bring up the sex issue shows a complete lack of respect for Jamie's boundaries.  But what do we expect when her own FATHER does not exhibit proper boundaries with HER?  Elizabeth is a nasty piece of work if only a few weeks into a relationship she is getting this ugly.  I predict that she and Jamie will "make up" to "save face" for the show, but this kind of fighting is very destructive over the long term and not a good sign for their success.

I'm willing to bet that the reason Elizabeth was vague about her former employment is because there's a potentially embarrassing story behind it.  Like maybe she was fired or quit in a huff, not just laid off.  And perhaps Daddy has been supporting her during her lapse in employment, which is something Jamie at least had enough respect for her not to reveal on camera so instead he made an issue of her being employed by her father.  He probably knows that really isn't the worst thing ever - a lot of people work in family businesses.  The worst thing is that she was probably being supported without working by her father through a lapse in her employment, but Jamie at least had enough class not to "out" her on that.

Edited July 26, 2019 by Yeah No

[LennieBriscoe]

Maybe Elizabeth and her friends use "Caucasian" as a synonym for the pejorative "white bread". Like the unique lingo of Amber and her twin.

Calling Jamie's intimate style predictable, dull, and boring might just have made their relationship...toast.

Edited July 26, 2019 by LennieBriscoe

[Yeah No]

3 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Maybe Elizabeth and her friends use "Caucasian" as a synonym for the pejorative "white bread". Like the unique lingo of Amber and her twin.

Calling Jamie's intimate style predictable, dull, and boring might just have made their relationship...toast.

Yes, I think you're right about that.  I think she was using "Caucasian" as a sort-of euphemism for dull and boring, like a into b, in-out-repeat, wham-bam-thank you ma'am sex.  

[Jack Sampson]

Amber is catching hell for being all in.  The girl is sincere and wants this to work - she trusted the wrong "experts" to find her a match.  She needs to start taking her sister to the gym.

I don't even think Iris is pretty anymore.  The look she gave after limiting people to 2 drinks was extreme.  I know she half-smiled at the end, but she meant it.  I'd tell her she's acting like a crazy person and to go take a nap.  These aren't random people off the street, they're your guests.  You should have told them to help themselves to whatever they want the second they walked through the door.  Also, she looks like she smells bad.

Deonna is boring.  There's nothing fun about her.  She said, "I will stretch myself to get outside of my comfort zone within my own (g?)rounds."  I guess that means she'll sit a little closer on the couch.  Way to push yourself.  The only way this works is if Greg is literally a saint.

Beth is a nut case but we already knew that.  Jamie isn't far behind.  He started arguing with a crazy woman who's a LOT better at it than he'll ever be. 

Matt's an odd guy.  He seems...slow.  I'd never guess he was a professional athlete.

Keith and Greg seem pretty cool.

[Liberty]

49 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Calling Jamie's intimate style predictable, dull, and boring ....

At the beginning of the episode didn't Beth state that her sex life was exciting, and kept her coming back for more?  If that's the case, she's just looking for ways to hurt him.

In the honeymoon shower confusion, Jamie snapped "I'm not a mind-reader" quickly when Beth asked if Jamie thought she wanted to have lunch alone on her honeymoon.  That retort flowed from him quite easily, suggesting he was already damaged goods before his wedding day.

[Kareem]

I think Matt has been kind of hard to read from the beginning but to consider leaving for eight months and wanting kids in eight years and disappearing for eight hours might be a hint as to where he’s at.  

I’ve watched Iris and her drawer liner drama and her lost ring hysterics and her two stupid sinks, and her designated place to sit on the bed, and her off limit lemonade drama and her two drink maximum instructions.  Then I watched him on Unfiltered when he said he didn’t want to have sex with her at this point.   Wondered if he was contemplating the crazy that he’ll have to live with and maybe not complicate the situation with sex yet.  If so, points for him.  Maybe they’ll stay together but she might want to consider not being such a dramatic and rigid PITA.  

Speaking of refrigerators, I’m still no fan of Deonna but hope for his sake that she suddenly becomes warm, fuzzy and friendly so that forever doesn’t feel like an eternity for this poor guy.  Was good to hear her say she actually enjoyed the time with their fun friends.  

[ShaNaeNae]

On 7/24/2019 at 9:54 PM, 2727 said:

And the second-best window's peak after Eddie Munster!

Ahhh it's all I could see the very first episode!  That and she (they) resemble John Travolta.

Somewhere along the way I missed the origin of Big Red.  I get the red for the hair, but where did the big come from?

[spunky]

21 hours ago, Ohwell said:

Yes, she is vague.  At one point in their conversation I think she said something about guy(s) wanting to have sex too early on in the relationship(s).  Or something like that.  The way she keeps talking about "her past" you would think that something very traumatic happened, even though it seems like it didn't.  

It appears as though their really serious conversations are off camera. 

[spunky]

20 hours ago, red12 said:

Deonna keeps saying that her dog doesn't take to men but, that dog was all about Greg in every scene and when his boys came over she was in their faces too. That dog's body language did not say "uncomfortable around testosterone".

Maybe Sandy dog just didn’t like her previous partners 💁🏾

[flyingmontana]

In addition to the many spot on comments that have been made about the dumpster fire that Elizabeth and Jamie have become, I wanted to point out that that moment when she asked him "Does that make you have less respect for me?" (the fact that her dad was giving her the job) and his response was a shrug and expression that clearly said, "Well yes," seemed significant to me. That was a real blatant put down, and I could feel her wounded at that moment. Unfortunately to strike back by humiliating him about his lovemaking style/technique certainly doomed the relationship forever as I don't know any couple that could back from that. I'm interested to see if they even try. From my experience once something has become that toxic and full of hurtful statements there is no way to fully heal from that.

[Empress1]

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

  I think she was using "Caucasian" as a sort-of euphemism for dull and boring, like a into b, in-out-repeat, wham-bam-thank you ma'am sex.  

I think so too, but that's not really a thing. There's a term for that kind of sex; it's vanilla. I think she just got the two jumbled up.

43 minutes ago, flyingmontana said:

In addition to the many spot on comments that have been made about the dumpster fire that Elizabeth and Jamie have become, I wanted to point out that that moment when she asked him "Does that make you have less respect for me?" (the fact that her dad was giving her the job) and his response was a shrug and expression that clearly said, "Well yes," seemed significant to me.

Me too. I remember a time when a friend of mine dumped her boyfriend, who we all liked, and it seemed like it came out of nowhere. And we asked why, and she said something about the sex declining and also that she didn't respect him (she didn't say why), and we were all like "OUCH. DAMN. OK then," because that seems really final to me. If your sex life declines, you can improve it, but if you don't respect your partner, that's much harder to rebuild. I would be devastated if my partner told me he didn't respect me because of my education or my job. And I'd bet Elizabeth is self-conscious about it, which is why she asked the question.

It kind of reminds me of Ross's list about Rachel on Friends. "Just a waitress" is a mean thing to say. "Yes, I have less respect for you because you didn't finish college and work for your father" is mean. Why should anybody be with someone that doesn't respect them?

On the shallow: Jamie is pretty schlubby-looking to me. Not attractive to me at all.

[Yeah No]

24 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I think so too, but that's not really a thing. There's a term for that kind of sex; it's vanilla. I think she just got the two jumbled up.

I agree with you, although there is an entry for "white sex" in the Urban dictionary that goes like this:

Quote

its when you go real real fast and call the girls name so any times

man; =FUCKING TAKE THAT KATIE YOU LIKE IT HUH KATIE 
TAKE IT LOOK ME IN THE FACE KATIE..TAKE IT KATIE 
WOMAN:OMG UH UH UH 

Or maybe she got that from "the missionary position", which was totally a white thing.

Speaking of Elizabeth, she seems to have been caught in a lie 3 times now.

1. She lied about wanting kids
2. She lied about her job
3. She lied about the sex being great

Is there anything out of her mouth that anyone can believe anymore?

I thought it was bizarre that in front of the parents they were both lying about wanting kids, although I suspect Jamie really wants kids but is humoring Elizabeth because he's still thinking with his "little head".

I still think his reaction to her question about his parents' divorce was completely uncalled for, so he did start the fight, but she outdid his transgression by a mile in her response.  Just ugh with these two.  😝

Edited July 26, 2019 by Yeah No

[Soup333]

1 hour ago, flyingmontana said:

In addition to the many spot on comments that have been made about the dumpster fire that Elizabeth and Jamie have become, I wanted to point out that that moment when she asked him "Does that make you have less respect for me?" (the fact that her dad was giving her the job) and his response was a shrug and expression that clearly said, "Well yes," seemed significant to me. That was a real blatant put down, and I could feel her wounded at that moment. Unfortunately to strike back by humiliating him about his lovemaking style/technique certainly doomed the relationship forever as I don't know any couple that could back from that. I'm interested to see if they even try. From my experience once something has become that toxic and full of hurtful statements there is no way to fully heal from that.

I agree. Once you start these kind of verbal exchanges, it's so easy to go right back to that kind of behavior the next time the person pisses you off. It could become a contest of who can say the most fucked up thing. I think if they had actual therapists helping them and some healthy history behind the relationship it might work but it'd be a lot of hard work and forgiveness. They say they love each other but they really don't and there's not enough emotion (besides lust) or history to make this toxic situation work in the long run. 

Jamie feels as if E lied about her job (she did) and her father basically said that she wouldn't have to do shit to get paid anyway. He has no reason to see this as anything other than a handout and he doesn't like it. Elizabeth isn't going to be with any man who has a negative word to say about her precious, overly involved father. This will never work. 

[Empress1]

17 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

Jamie feels as if E lied about her job (she did) and her father basically said that she wouldn't have to do shit to get paid anyway. He has no reason to see this as anything other than a handout and he doesn't like it.

Yeah, that's the other thing. In the example I gave about my accountant, my accountant is actually trained in the field by someone other than his father. He has a degree in accounting, is a CPA, worked for another, much larger firm for years, and put in work on the rung of the ladder that matched up with his experience when he joined the family business.

Elizabeth's dad said straight up that he doesn't expect her to work hard (which is really shitty, frankly - does he not believe in her?) like he does his other employees. It ... kind of is a handout in this case. Elizabeth may indeed work hard and and add value to the business, but her father said straight up to Jamie's and her faces that he won't require her to do that, and I'm sure if she underperforms her job won't be in jeopardy. There are some people who would respond "Hey, nice if you can get it!" when faced with Elizabeth's situation; Jamie isn't one of them.

And she DID lie about her job - she said loud and proud from day 1 that she's an account exec at her father's company when really she was unemployed and she doesn't even know what she's going to be doing at this job her father created for her.

[Ohwell]

When Elizabeth said she'd be doing "marketing" for her father's business I kind of rolled my eyes because that's so open ended.  

[VioletNevermind]

16 hours ago, STRIDER1 said:

Flawless victory lol

Oh my God, someone actually got my reference.  It's not even noon and my Friday is complete. 💜

Edited July 26, 2019 by Suzy Rhapsody

[lh25]

Iris really needs to lighten up.  The fuss over the lemon-aid was silly, IMHO.  Neither her stance of not wanting people in her fridge, nor Keith's of his friends being welcome to help themselves was right or wrong.  It's just different ideas of what is acceptable, and they need to talk those things out as they come across them, or actually afterwards when they are alone.  Be gracious in the moment.  I agree with the posters who say she comes across as on old lady.

Jamie and Beth need to separate now!  If they are fighting so dirty at this point, it's a lost cause.

All IMHO of course.  🙂

[humbleopinion]

But wait, there's more... in the season's tease we see the Bickersons tussling with Dr. Viv...

RedWedding calling her a Beyotch....

can totally see the Thompsons in their weirdo solidarity turning on the good doctor....

Edited July 26, 2019 by humbleopinion

[Elizzikra]

20 hours ago, ShowFan said:

Is basic African sex better than basic Caucasian sex? Asking for a friend 

And when a biracial couple just wants to have basic sex, which do they choose?

Quote

Matt said he didn't want kids NOW.  Amber heard "I don't want kids EVER."  

Matt said he didn't want to start having kids for 5 - 8 years. Amber latched onto the far end of that timetable and realized she would be 35 when they started trying. For a lot of couples, that gamble ends with never having biological children. She is correct to be concerned about the timing issue but she chose the wrong time and the wrong way to bring it up.

Quote

 I might not care to have my guests know what besides lemonade is in there! 

Now I'm dying to know what's in your refrigerator. Please post a photo.

Edited July 26, 2019 by Elizzikra

[humbleopinion]

Choosing Amber was cruel because she is not emotionally resilient to deal with rejection in any shape or form...the slightest rebuff or misinterpreted conversation puts her in panic mode and her mood drops like a rock to the bottom of her murky consciousness....

Sobbing to her father late at night is not the move most adults would make..getting into her car and looking for Matt is more feasible...

[Yeah No]

11 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

Again, we saw no rifling. Seems a loaded word from an overdramatic theatrical person like Iris. If one opened up a refrigerator under any conditions, and saw a bottle of lemonade, took it out and poured a glass, that's not rifling. She tried to paint a picture of a bunch of guys pulling random stuff out and looking through it and finally uncovering a bottle of lemonade. Keith was right when he said, "About juice?" 

No, we saw no "rifling" but then again we don't know if Iris was over-exaggerating either. She made it sound like they did it several times, but we don't really know.

Rifling was my word.  In this case it may or may not be accurate, but suffice it to say that in general I don't like guests going into my fridge unless they ask me first.  I don't even go into my sister-in-law's fridge without asking first!  But if it was just about getting juice once or twice, I wouldn't care if anyone did that in my house unless it was something I specifically didn't intend for guests to use.  And it's IMO the host's right to decide which beverages are for guests and which are not, if any.  I don't think any and every beverage in the house should automatically be up for grabs just because you're giving a party.  It's actually presumptuous to assume otherwise.  I don't go into my SIL's liquor cabinet to fish out her 60 year old scotch when she's put Costco scotch out on the table.  It does sound like Iris may have made much out of nothing here, though.  I've been supporting that judgment of her for the most part.  In general, though, I don't blame anyone for preferring that people ask before going into their fridge.  It was the intensity of her reaction that IMO is suspect.

[humbleopinion]

Choosing Matt for Amber and vice versa was stunt casting for predictable drama and comical visuals...Mutt and Jeff..how's that for a half century reference....

 Pretty obvious from the get go that neither one was emotionally mature to support the other but were cast to accentuate weaknesses in each other.

 Their family histories of mother abandonment and parents' contentious divorce are giant red flags waving with extended arms back and forth...but who knows maybe these two can beat the odds and work it out.. 

[configdotsys]

Just now, Yeah No said:

No, we saw no "rifling" but then again we don't know if Iris was over-exaggerating either. She made it sound like they did it several times, but we don't really know.

Rifling was my word.  In this case it may or may not be accurate, but suffice it to say that in general I don't like guests going into my fridge unless they ask me first.  I don't even go into my sister-in-law's fridge without asking first!  But if it was just about getting juice once or twice, I wouldn't care if anyone did that in my house unless it was something I specifically didn't intend for guests to use.  And it's IMO the host's right to decide which beverages are for guests and which are not, if any.  I don't think any and every beverage in the house should automatically be up for grabs just because you're giving a party.  It's actually presumptuous to assume otherwise.  I don't go into my SIL's liquor cabinet to fish out her 60 year old scotch when she's put Costco scotch out on the table.  It does sound like Iris may have made much out of nothing here, though.  I've been supporting that judgment of her for the most part.  In general, though, I don't blame anyone for preferring that people ask before going into their fridge.  It was the intensity of her reaction that IMO is suspect.

I hear what you are saying. I thought Iris used the word rifling or something similar in addition to saying they were "helping themselves." But Keith was with them. It's hard for me to believe that these friends would just open the fridge and take stuff with Keith standing right there unless he ok'd it. Iris has been so neurotic and theatrical that I just find anything she says happened to be over dramatized.

I would never go into anyone's fridge. I'd feel weird doing it even if they said it was okay. A garage fridge filled with beers for the bbq, fine. But the house fridge would make me feel weird. Still, Keith was there. And it is his home too. If one of the guys opened the door and Keith did not react so the person took something out because that's just what they've always done as friends, that was done with permission of one of the hosts. Iris was over the top and should have addressed it later with Keith, not throw a tantrum in front of the guests. If she gets that way over juice...

[Lovecat]

3 hours ago, ShaNaeNae said:

Somewhere along the way I missed the origin of Big Red.  I get the red for the hair, but where did the big come from?

She's a dead ringer for the girl who played Big Red in the movie Bring it On.

[ShaNaeNae]

1 minute ago, Lovecat said:

She's a dead ringer for the girl who played Big Red in the movie Bring it On.

Oh ma gahd, thank you!  I forgot about that movie.  

[humbleopinion]

Iris sees the Solis address as their "marital home' while the Thirsty Dude sees it as the TeeVee Pretend Place of Keith and his stranger wife...

The camera crew, producer, professional stage lighting for the show makes it less a home and more like a  "set" to film the show...

[Yeah No]

3 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I hear what you are saying. I thought Iris used the word rifling or something similar in addition to saying they were "helping themselves." But Keith was with them. It's hard for me to believe that these friends would just open the fridge and take stuff with Keith standing right there unless he ok'd it. Iris has been so neurotic and theatrical that I just find anything she says happened to be over dramatized.

I would never go into anyone's fridge. I'd feel weird doing it even if they said it was okay. A garage fridge filled with beers for the bbq, fine. But the house fridge would make me feel weird. Still, Keith was there. And it is his home too. If one of the guys opened the door and Keith did not react so the person took something out because that's just what they've always done as friends, that was done with permission of one of the hosts. Iris was over the top and should have addressed it later with Keith, not throw a tantrum in front of the guests. If she gets that way over juice...

Keith's reaction lead me to believe that this was behavior he condoned when he was single, and he just assumed it should be OK now.  It does reek of single guy fridge behavior based on my experience.  But Keith has shown that he doesn't realize that the boundaries may be different in a marriage when it comes to possessions.  That fridge is not just his anymore to give or not give permission to go through without asking.  So I do think he was being presumptuous to think that just because it was OK with him it should also be OK with his wife.  It's just like leaving the seat up, LOL.  OK in a guy house, not so OK in general in a house where a woman lives (for the most part).  A lot of women in particular seem to be a little territorial about their kitchens, and that's OK.  As an avid home cook I am sort-of like that myself.  My husband is territorial about his cars, and that's OK too.  Husbands and wives have to learn to respect each other's boundaries.

I agree with you about the garage fridge.  And if she gets that way over juice, wow.  But to be honest, I get that way over ice cubes - My mother was like that too.  Don't take too many and leave everyone else with none and then don't fill the bucket or the trays or there's an issue.  It's one of my pet peeves.  But I'm relatively easygoing about other stuff and let a lot slide.  With Iris, though, it seems like she makes a BFD out of everything!

[StrongbyDefault]

On 7/24/2019 at 10:13 PM, ShowFan said:

The chatter between Amber and her twin was just too much. Like they are using some secret high speed language. The chipmunk comparison is genius

OMG YES!!!!  I had to rewind TWICE to try to figure out wtf they were chattering on about!  It was bizarre.  

[ShaNaeNae]

When I saw the commercial for lemonade gate, I thought maybe it was some special lemonade she mixes her Ducolax in or something.  When I finally saw it, was surprised she was pissed over them going in and drinking just regular lemonade.  I get it, I do.  I like to get my gallon of sweet tea from chicken places, it's just made super sweet and better.  I remember one time I stopped to get a gallon on my way to my brothers house for dinner (hey, it's half off between 2-5pm) and asked if I could put it in their fridge until I leave.  Did not expect my brother to yell out, "hey, ya mind if we open your sweet tea?"  I did mind, but I'm not going to be that bitch that says no.  So I left with half a gallon.  But I just had to go get another a few days earlier.  Sometimes things like that, you just have to put the pettiness aside and grin and bear it. 

Edited July 26, 2019 by ShaNaeNae

[StrongbyDefault]

On 7/24/2019 at 10:12 PM, 2727 said:

Jamie and Beth, ay yi yi. They both fight by lashing out with insults and low blows to hurt the other person.

You dared ask a question about my parents? I'm going to mock your lack of education and job with your father.

YES!!!  I said the same thing.  Granted, Elizabeth is an entitled wacko with PLENTY of short comings that warrant some snark. But I absolutely don't believe she had any mal-intent when she asked about his parents' divorce.  She seemed to truly be trying to get to know him on a deeper level.  For him to attack back with "ok, well if we're talking about what bothers us..." made him look like a psycho with anger management issues.  She wasn't "bothered" by his parents' divorce, she didn't seem to be insulting him in any way.  The fact that he's so triggered after 10 years that he can't even have a candid discussion about it sends up huge red flags to me.  

Now their 2nd fight when he came home with flowers and tried to maturely talk to her about things that bothered him and she responded like a damn lunatic is a whole other story... 

In closing, they're both nuts with zero ability to communicate maturely, calmly and effectively. 

[Yeah No]

11 minutes ago, StrongbyDefault said:

OMG YES!!!!  I had to rewind TWICE to try to figure out wtf they were chattering on about!  It was bizarre.  

Re: Amber and her twin's amazing communication, I've read that it's not uncommon with twins.  I've always found this fascinating and have made a point to watch TV shows about it.  I am an only child but my best friend from childhood and I are actually just like that.  We constantly confound people with our conversations.  We communicate almost telepathically!  We leave words out and make references that no one else would understand.