S05.E05: Pulp Friction

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

As Thomas ponders his next steps with Ashley, Patricia encourages him to propose.  Austen's parents push him to make some strides professionally, while Craig hires a coach to help him get his life on track.  Naomie gets wind of Craig's new crush, and turns Austen's Halloween party into a house or horrors when she comes face-to-face with the woman.

[Mindthinkr]

How long do we give Craig before he falls in love with his life coach? 

[MinorL]

Austen’s sister somehow looks more like Austen than Austen does. 

[Neurochick]

Naomi is ruining this show for me, she's so unpleasant and nasty.  Why is she on this show anyway?

And why are these witches so nasty to Peyton?  Naomi or however the hell you spell your name, just make like a tree and leave (leaf LOL!!).

Edited May 4, 2018 by Neurochick

[Mindthinkr]

What’s with Thomas shaving his eyebrow area? Weird. 

Thomas’s pirate jacket looks more like a smoking jacket. Like Hugh Hefner would have worn...tho Hef favored the color maroon. 

[Neurochick]

Oh, now all the women are acting like mean girl witches, and they wonder why they're all single.  If I was a man I wouldn't date any of the women on this show.  The men leave a lot to be desired, but the women are just as bad IMO, especially Naomie who IMO is ugly both inside and outside.  I like how she thinks Peyton is thirsty, woman, YOU are on a reality show too, so here's a cup of water for you, okay?

JD as Trump LOL.

Naomie, why are YOU here?  Oh, yes, I know why, you're here for the check, and thirsty bitches can tell other bitches are thirsty.  And Naomie just said she's better than Peyton?   I wish Petyton would just knock Naomie the fuck out because that's what she deserves.  Get this heifer off my show NOW.

Edited May 4, 2018 by Neurochick

[nexxie]

Naomie is psycho!

HA! “Mean Naomie in the wild.”

Edited May 4, 2018 by nexxie

[RedDelicious]

Peyton is a terrible actress.

[Neurochick]

1 minute ago, RedDelicious said:

Peyton is a terrible actress.

Naomie is worse...oh, right, Naomie isn't acting, she's a psycho bitch. 

Edited May 4, 2018 by Neurochick

[MinorL]

I loved Craig’s TH about Naomie feeding on his soul. 

Naomie is a hot mess. 

[Duke2801]

Naomi needs to get a grip. She doesn’t want Craig for herself...but doesn’t want anybody else to have him either. At this point I DO want Craig to start dating Peyton. Serves the bitch right (Naomi being the bitch in question). 

Who or what is Cheltsie supposed to be with the purple wig? 

Craigs TH about catching “a rare glimpse of Naomi in the wild” is giving me life. 

JD as Trump makes sense. 

Edited May 4, 2018 by Duke2801

[Neurochick]

Naomie has straight up ruined this show for me.  She's too old and three, four, five years too late for The Bad Girls Club, and too plain for Basketball Wives.

Edited May 4, 2018 by Neurochick

[b2H]

Naomie, shame on you.  There are better ways to get what you think you want than how you are going about things.

You are going to find yourself lonely and isolated real quick.  Stalker doesn’t begin to define it.  

And for as wonderful as you think you are, I can only imagine how your parents are feeling watching you on this show.  I am sure they want their daughter back.  I know I do.  Go off somewhere and get some help.

[Sooner Smiles]

This episode proved to me that Naomi doesn’t have any good girl friends. A good friend would have told her she was being bat shit crazy and was going to look like the bad guy in all this and found her a hot guy to flirt with instead of letting her run her mouth like an idiot to everyone at the party advertising how insecure she is. My friends also would have thrown me into the water before they let me light into Peyton like that and show what an horrid, immaculating shrew I was. That was a lot of crazy in one hour. Whoosh. 

I think Naomi doesn’t want Craig, but is terrified that he’ll find someone else and be happy. Then, in her crazy mind, that makes the breakup her fault and Craig wins and she loses. She can’t have that. Girlfriend has to win at all costs. 

[tinaw]

Naomi, you have lost your mind

[Sooner Smiles]

I really dislike it when girls go after the other girl instead of being mad at the guy. Peyton really didn’t seem to have any idea why Naomi was mad at her. Have we even seen Craig and Peyton in a scene together? Also, screw you Craig for saying you were only thinking about Peyton for a one night stand.  I don’t even especially like Peyton, but that was just bad. 

Edited May 4, 2018 by Sooner Smiles

[Neurochick]

2 minutes ago, Sooner Smiles said:

This episode proved to me that Naomi doesn’t have any good girl friends. A good friend would have told her she was being bat shit crazy and was going to look like the bad guy in all this and found her a hot guy to flirt with instead of letting her run her mouth like an idiot to everyone at the party advertising how insecure she is. My friends also would have thrown me into the water before they let me light into Peyton like that and show what an horrid, immaculating shrew I was.

I disagree.  It's like intervention; you can take a person to a million interventions but ultimately THEY have to make the decision.  Naomie's not there yet and she might never be.

[Bronzedog]

Wow.  I don’t even understand what set Naomi off.  The good news is she’s making Kathryn look both mature and stable.

[Bluedog100]

Please, Lord, keep the word "thirsty" from my earshot unless it is describing the need for a beverage.

[b2H]

Just now, Bluedog100 said:

Please, Lord, keep the word "thirsty" from my earshot unless it is describing the need for a beverage.

Yes, these reality shows are all over-using the term.  Thing is, in this case, the one with the dehydration issue is Naomie.

[mbaywife123]

10 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Oh, now all the women are acting like mean girl witches, and they wonder why they're all single.  If I was a man I wouldn't date any of the women on this show.  The men leave a lot to be desired, but the women are just as bad IMO, especially Naomie who IMO is ugly both inside and outside.  I like how she thinks Peyton is thirsty, woman, YOU are on a reality show too, so here's a cup of water for you, okay?

JD as Trump LOL.

Naomie, why are YOU here?  Oh, yes, I know why, you're here for the check, and thirsty bitches can tell other bitches are thirsty.  And Naomie just said she's better than Peyton?   I wish Petyton would just knock Naomie the fuck out because that's what she deserves.  Get this heifer off my show NOW.

Yep, the only thing Naomi is worried about is losing screen time to Peyton.

Also now understanding Craig better as he explained how Naomi was in private and off camera during their relationship and how she pandered to the others that Craig was the lazy loser. She was probably pissed that he didn't hustle for more screen time with her.

Naomi is the thirstiest of all the women on this show, heck she could drink a tub full of baptismal water and still not be quenched.

[Kiki777]

"He's the worst person ever!" - dressed as the worst person ever. LOL

That life coach seemed really unprofessional, calling her client winning and cute.  Weird.

I thought Naomi looked pretty in her costume, until she opened her mouth.

[Neurochick]

I don't get how Naomie can tell somebody else, in this case Peyton, that they are "thirsty" (who is a hysterical character in Empire BTW), when SHE, Naomie is on the same reality show as Peyton!  So does that mean Chelsea and Kathryn are "thirsty" too?

[Sooner Smiles]

7 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don't get how Naomie can tell somebody else, in this case Peyton, that they are "thirsty" (who is a hysterical character in Empire BTW), when SHE, Naomie is on the same reality show as Peyton!  So does that mean Chelsea and Kathryn are "thirsty" too?

Agreed, and correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Naomi track Craig down when he was out of state out of the blue when she had no interest in him before he was on a reality show? I guess you really do see in other people what you’re capable of doing yourself. 

[mbaywife123]

1 minute ago, Sooner Smiles said:

Agreed, and correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Naomi track Craig down when he was out of state out of the blue when she had no interest in him before he was on a reality show? I guess you really do see in other people what you’re capable of doing yourself. 

Craig, you in danger boy. 

[Neurochick]

This show has changed and not for the better.

I think the problem is that Cameron, who was a HUGE part of the show, is pregnant and can't participate as much.  Thomas and Kathryn are acting like adults for the sake of their children, (thank God), Landon is gone, Shep has become an ageing playboy, not a good look and Craig is kind of just there.  Oh, and Whitney isn't even around, I guess he's concentrating on Southern Charm New Orleans now; Naomie, Chelsea and that other friend of Katheryn's the one who had the baby, were just window dressing and window dressing just can't make a show. 

[mbaywife123]

3 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

This show has changed and not for the better.

I think the problem is that Cameron, who was a HUGE part of the show, is pregnant and can't participate as much.  Thomas and Kathryn are acting like adults for the sake of their children, (thank God), Landon is gone, Shep has become an ageing playboy, not a good look and Craig is kind of just there.  Oh, and Whitney isn't even around, I guess he's concentrating on Southern Charm New Orleans now; Naomie, Chelsea and that other friend of Katheryn's the one who had the baby, were just window dressing and window dressing just can't make a show. 

Good observation, the past seasons seemed to be more like a strong impressionist oil painting and this season seems like a pastel watercolor.

[tiffbook]

I don't even like Peyton but I felt bad for her. If you look at it deeper, Naomie is criticizing how reality shows cast some people. Yeah Peyton whole moving thing was suspect but I'm sure the producers sort of created this. It really takes one to know one. Naomie did contact Craig when he was at his parent's house. I dislike Cam's attitude toward Craig sewing. So what. Let him sew. Who cares if isn't masculine. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I’m still like WTF after this show. Why is everyone out for blood where Peyton is concerned? I liked her costume the best anyway.  Naomie has ruined  this show in my opinion too.  She’s bat shit cray-cray and I just feel for Craig putting up with that shrew for so long.  I think that became “normal” to him until it didn’t. So glad he’s through with her.  I’m so through with her too.

#overit

#girlbye

[RedDelicious]

I actually admire Naomie for having the balls to go at it like that. A little crazy, maybe, but I have a hard time believing anyone else wouldn't be thinking the same things or bitching to their girlfriends in the same terms. Humans are inherently curious. It's just a whole new ballgame in the age of social media. I think Peyton's gross. I don't like one thing about her. 

??‍♀️

[Suck It Trebek]

I wish someone would tell Naomie that sometimes we have to leave the crazy on the inside. Don't let it escape, Naomie!

[AttackTurtle]

Is Naomi even in the opening credits?   She is taking up so much screen time.  

Austin’s parents seem like really good people and it’s crazy how much his sister looks like both Austin and his mother.  Hi can’t help but wonder how his sister feels about the situation surrounding her parents deciding to have her.

Naomi is right about Peyton, but hello “pot meet kettle”.

I think production likely sought out Chelsea’s involvement....she is an actual cast member.  I think it’s not lost on Naomi that she’s not guaranteed a spot on this show without her Craig drama.  This is a girl who is besties with the Vanderpump Rules girls (I don’t even really dislike them, but Naomi seems a little hung up on the reality scene).

Edited May 4, 2018 by AttackTurtle

[TheFinalRose]

Naomi going after Peyton actually scared me, and I was just sitting in my chair with my afghan on me, safe and sound. Can't imagine what it must be like to be around her in real life. 

[breezy424]

Hm.  Maybe Naomie is a bit threatened by Payton.  Not just about Craig but about her place on the show.  IMO producers offered Payton a role on the show and she accepted.  Landon is gone.  Naomie doesn't want Craig.  She enjoys the paycheck and sort of fame. 

I want to say that Naomie is the new crazy Kathryn but Kathryn's situation was different.  Know what I mean?

I gave Naomie a little leeway with JD because she's young, etc.  But wow, going after Payton the way she did?  Girl, you're coming off really bad.

On another note, I did enjoy Cam's conversation with her mom in baby store.

Chelsea...stay away from Austen.  He's a loser.  Shep and TRav are rich losers. 

I like Kathryn with Craig. 

[Babyfoot]

Thomas. Shaves. His. Eyebrows. 

[psychoticstate]

I would snort with laughter over Naomie telling Peyton (or anyone) that she's thirsty and asking why she's here  - except that I'm still gobsmacked at what a nasty, vile and mean piece of work Naomie is.   She certainly holds herself in high esteem, doesn't she?  She shows up at a party Peyton is co-hosting with Austen, as a guest, and rips into the host that way?  And then expects Austen to TAKE HER SIDE in the whole matter?  Girl, you are fucking delusional!  

I give Peyton props for returning to the party (we assume) and not knocking all of Naomie's teeth down her throat.  

I have news for you, Naomie.,  You are NOT better than Peyton.  You are not nearly as great as you think you are.  I'd rather go sewing machine shopping with Craig any day of the week than listen to your self-righteous and self-important bullshit.   I hope the ladies tell you what-for.  Team Peyton all the way.  (And I didn't even like her last week) 

Craig, run.  Seriously, run like the devil is chasing you.  (Because she is.)  Why on earth would you even want that snooty bitch back?  She is MEAN.  Consider yourself lucky that your wanker is still attached to your body and call it quits.  You don't need Naomie or her ridiculous bullshit.  

We need crazy Kathryn to rear her head.  I have a feeling Kathryn's crazy would scare the bejesus out of Naomie.

On another note, watching TRav grooming his face  is a clear window into the future for Tom "Flat Iron" Sandoval of VPR.  Except without the white jeans, southern accent and coke conviction. 

[CatMomma]

Only watched first 10 minutes so haven't seen Naomie psycho moment. But I loved the scene with Cameron and her mom. 

She grew up with a working mom who taught her to take care of herself. That's being maternal, Cameron. 

Now,  on to the shit show... 

[Sage47]

Naomie once again talking about murder and even pantomimes stabbing and shooting Peyton. Girl is truly NUTS. 

Craig’s comment about Naomie in the wild was spot on. She is one nasty bitch. 

Austen always seems enamored with Chelsea. Chelsea didn’t really want Austen-THAT is why they’re not together. No other reason-not his playboy ways. It’s Chelsea who rejected him. 

Cameran is sorely missed. So is Whitney. And (ducking), even Landon. I would much rather see Landon talking to Bam & her eyebrows about her love for Shep, then ever see Naomie’s disturbed mug on my screen again. 

Edited May 4, 2018 by Sage47

[bichonblitz]

Fuck. Off. Naomi. 

[Sage47]

15 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

I would snort with laughter over Naomie telling Peyton (or anyone) that she's thirsty and asking why she's here  - except that I'm still gobsmacked at what a nasty, vile and mean piece of work Naomie is.   She certainly holds herself in high esteem, doesn't she?  She shows up at a party Peyton is co-hosting with Austen, as a guest, and rips into the host that way?  And then expects Austen to TAKE HER SIDE in the whole matter?  Girl, you are fucking delusional!  

I give Peyton props for returning to the party (we assume) and not knocking all of Naomie's teeth down her throat.  

I have news for you, Naomie.,  You are NOT better than Peyton.  You are not nearly as great as you think you are.  I'd rather go sewing machine shopping with Craig any day of the week than listen to your self-righteous and self-important bullshit.   I hope the ladies tell you what-for.  Team Peyton all the way.  (And I didn't even like her last week) 

Craig, run.  Seriously, run like the devil is chasing you.  (Because she is.)  Why on earth would you even want that snooty bitch back?  She is MEAN.  Consider yourself lucky that your wanker is still attached to your body and call it quits.  You don't need Naomie or her ridiculous bullshit.  

We need crazy Kathryn to rear her head.  I have a feeling Kathryn's crazy would scare the bejesus out of Naomie.

On another note, watching TRav grooming his face  is a clear window into the future for Tom "Flat Iron" Sandoval of VPR.  Except without the white jeans, southern accent and coke conviction. 

I love this post more than I would love a foot rub by Michael the Butler. 

[AttackTurtle]

The show is awfully different.  I don’t get the vibe of the earlier seasons and I think that’s largely because Cameran isn’t on enough, Whitney is barely on (I’m one of the few who actually really likes Whitney) and Naomi is taking over everything.  I’m liking Craig more this season than I really ever have though.

I’m missing the polo matches, Carolina Day parties, etc...

I can’t stand T-Rav after his recent news coverage, but I loved Patricia questioning why he felt he deserved “perfection” in a partner.  

Edited May 4, 2018 by AttackTurtle

[bichonblitz]

8 minutes ago, AttackTurtle said:

I’m missing the polo matches, Carolina Day parties, etc...

And Kathryn's batshit craziness. It's just not the same show without that. Let's face it, she made the show. 

[OldButHappy]

1 hour ago, Suck It Trebek said:

 

I wish someone would tell Naomie that sometimes we have to leave the crazy on the inside. Don't let it escape, Naomie!

 

Ha!  It's hard to keep quiet, Naomi!  It took me until age 60 to (finally) realize that:

The rare times that I feel compelled to "finally speak up" are, by definition, the exact times that I REALLY need to keep my opinion to myself! 

[AttackTurtle]

9 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

And Kathryn's batshit craziness. It's just not the same show without that. Let's face it, she made the show. 

Not really for me.  Kathryn has always made me sad; however I do think that Thomas would much rather be with Kathryn than Ashley.

Edited May 4, 2018 by AttackTurtle

[MrsBestes]

Naomi sucks. Seriously, pathetic. Could it be anymore obvious that she is threatened by Peyton? And she calls Craig immature!? Someone else said it, she’s ruining the show. 

JD as Trump was the best part of the episode. I loved seeing him in the background with that terrible wig. I couldn’t have picked a better costume for him.

Thomas still has feelings for Kathryn. The way he looks at her...it’s much different then how he looks at Ashley. Too bad that he also loves to f*ck with Kathryn’s emotions. I’m proud of her for not falling for his BS. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if they had another baby together (I hope they don’t, for the child’s sake). 

[sheetmoss]

5 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

What’s with Thomas shaving his eyebrow area? Weird. 

 

When a guy gets into his 40's - esp 50's, you get random stray hairs growing  around your eyebrow area, so you clean/groom it - it can be shaved or plucked. You can also use electric or battery operated devices designed for this purpose.

    BTW - this isn't really shaping the brows

Eyebrows on older mean also grow in length and need to be cut or trimmed down

Edited May 4, 2018 by sheetmoss

[ScoobieDoobs]

6 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Naomi is ruining this show for me, she's so unpleasant and nasty.  Why is she on this show anyway?

And why are these witches so nasty to Peyton?  Naomi or however the hell you spell your name, just make like a tree and leave (leaf LOL!!).

 

Why does she seem to think it's OK to call ANYONE a "thirsty bitch"?  Shit, this incredibly nasty woman must have called her "thirsty" a billion times.  And she did it in such a ridiculously & casually cruel & exceptionally thoughtless way.  Ew.  Get this woman off this show immediately!  She is ruining this show, which is really sinking fast this season anyway.

Austen is pretty useless -- on this show & in life.  Just a waste of space.  But at least he showed some kindness, which was nice to see, in the midst of such cruelty.  Naomie is one nasty piece of work, but nobody else seemed to care about her calling someone "thirsty" a zillion times.  Looked like Kathryn was snickering every time she did.  Blech.  Idk, maybe the cruelty from these Bravo shows is getting too much for for me. 

Have to admit, JD's Trump wig gave me a quick giggle.

Whit's Grampa Simpson act continues . . . now I'm expecting the cam to catch him with his mouth open & drooling, and with a befuddled, vacant look.  Didn't he kinda look that way when Pat was bragging about him living in Paris 200 years ago?

Edited May 4, 2018 by ScoobieDoobs

[walnutqueen]

Naomi has burned one bridge she really should give a shit about - that's with the viewers.

[zoeysmom]

48 minutes ago, walnutqueen said:

Naomi has burned one bridge she really should give a shit about - that's with the viewers.

As the season goes on loyal Naomieans are dropping like flies.  The After Show http://www.bravotv.com/southern-charm/season-5/episode-5/videos/did-naomie-discover-peytons-real-reason-for-moving-to is up and Shep et al, are pretty cocky about not needing Naomie to protect them from interlopers.  Naomie and her say anything to anyone has run its course.   All she showed is her thirst is very real.  I thought it a little odd Naomie was leading the conversation on the true color of unicorns.  I am hoping she does realize they are fictional.  What next Barney the dinosaur isn't really purple?

I like Austen just because he is a little different but his mother is very cold. I wonder if when she delivered Austen a business plan was discharged with the afterbirth.  At least listen and give your son some pointers-don't cut him off.   Here we go again with a twenty-something making six figures and the frustration of those around him to try and force them into a traditional job.  I also appreciated Austen NOT capitulating to entitled, smug Naomie.

Chelsea is as good as anyone with her pot stirring-certainly the one worth cheering for on the show.  I don't think she sees any kind of future with Austen.  I do like her though.

Kathryn acts as if she and Thomas are just on a time out-he has a girlfriend.  Her comment about her Thomas being able to do things together-Ashley invited you, I am quite certain she intends to be there as well.  Kathryn desperately seeking Thomas.  Find someone younger and let it not be Craig.  

[Caseysgirl]

Did I really hear Thomas say "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Is this 1950?  Patricia echoed my thoughts when she said that she didn't know why Thomas expected perfection when he was, well, himself!