Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Shannon L.]

2 hours ago, Camille said:

Sadly, this isn't completely untrue. A lot of train conductors have killed someone, either by the person deciding to kill themselves or them accidentally falling on to the tracks.

I phrased it poorly and I apologize.  I just meant that I doubt that there are that many cop chases through the subway cars and on the tracks.

[Lugal]

On 10/31/2018 at 8:33 AM, ChromaKelly said:

On 10/31/2018 at 8:23 AM, Blergh said:

Considering the fact that most communities' drinking water has at least trace amounts of pharmaceuticals detected within, there must SOME folks who flush those things down the drain or toilet since I don't think anyone's deliberately putting those chemicals into the waters (though this does raise the question of how clean and filtered IS the drinking water). 

I read that it's also from people's urine.  Bleh.

And I seem to recall hearing that a lot is runoff from all the antibiotics given to farm animals.

[SVNBob]

[SmithW6079]

You can decide to get married in the morning, go to a justice of the peace a few hours later and get married, then add your new spouse to your insurance policy in time to get to the emergency room that evening.

[Shannon L.]

I know that skinny and super skinny jeans/pants are popular now, but when watching television, you'd think that every woman wore them all the time.  In casual situations (jeans) or for work (pants).  There's rarely anyone wearing a straight leg or flare cut pair of jeans, or looser slacks.  I still see women here wearing those light-weight cargo pants (which aren't in style now and near impossible, so I'll give the costume designers a break on that one).

[bilgistic]

I loathe skinny jeans with the heat of a thousand nuns. They're all anyone has sold for years now and I hate it. I found a pair of bootcut jeans in a resale shop and that's all I wear. For pants, I wear straight-leg or slightly tapered. Death to skinny pants.

[Shannon L.]

1 minute ago, bilgistic said:

I loathe skinny jeans with the heat of a thousand nuns. They're all anyone has sold for years now and I hate it. I found a pair of bootcut jeans in a resale shop and that's all I wear. For pants, I wear straight-leg or slightly tapered. Death to skinny pants.

I get straight legged jeans at Old Navy.  I don't like them quite as much as I used to, though, because they started using the stretchy material for all cuts, not just the skinny jeans.  But, their straight legged cut is still better than that skinny stuff. 

[theredhead77]

5 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I loathe skinny jeans with the heat of a thousand nuns. They're all anyone has sold for years now and I hate it. I found a pair of bootcut jeans in a resale shop and that's all I wear. For pants, I wear straight-leg or slightly tapered. Death to skinny pants.

I love these jeans from Kohls. They are marked "juniors" but I'm a woman shaped woman (hips, not flat stomach) and they fit great.

I keep seeing commercials for NYDJ (Not Your Daughters Jeans) but they are probably pricey. Lucky still makes boot cut as does Levi.

[scarynikki12]

Skinny jeans look great with flats or tall boots but terrible with every other kind of shoe.  Pair them with sneakers and your feet are going to look HUGE (even if they aren't).  Pair them with ankle boots and your legs look stumpy.  Pair them with heels and you'll just look stupid (this last one applies to all types of jeans in my opinion).  I'm a big fan of boot cut jeans because they look good with my boots and sneakers both and that takes care of me when it's cold out. 

One thing that always happens on tv is that a character who hasn't showered within the last 24 hours NEVER has greasy hair.  If the character is female, she'll sometimes have messy hair, in that she's thrown it into a messy bun or ponytail but the hair itself still looks shiny and recently washed rather than limp and greasy.  I can handle the perfect teeth on someone who hasn't brushed them recently but it's super easy to make hair look gross even if the actor in question showered that morning.  You can buy hair oil at any drug store and a few extra sprays of that will make it look like bathing is a distant memory without any extra work. 

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, bilgistic said:

I loathe skinny jeans with the heat of a thousand nuns

Do you loathe them with the heat of a thousand "nuns" or "suns"? I'm guessing you meant "suns," but reading "nuns" kind of made my day. :-)

[bilgistic]

The "heat of a thousand nuns" is an old Television Without Pity joke.

[Bastet]

I hate tapered-leg pants (straight-leg, boot-cut, or wide-leg [trousers, not jeans] for me), so skinny pants really aren't my thing.  Of course, the women they allow on TV almost universally have the body type that looks good in skinny pants, so that might explain why they're more prevalent on TV than in real life.  What cannot be explained is how ubiquitous they are in stores, when the majority of American bodies are not flattered by that cut.

Re. greasy hair on an unshowered person, that's not true of naturally curly hair, which tends to also be naturally dry, and should not be shampooed frequently (rinsed and conditioned, yes, but not shampooed) -- 24 hours without a shower, and our hair is just starting to look great, not greasy.  But, yeah, non-curly characters made up to look like they've been sick in bed for three days really ought to have some Vaseline run through their locks as part of that process.

(I still use "heat of a thousand nuns," too, even in "real life" sometimes, forgetting it's specific to TWoP and no one else will know why the hell I'm saying that.)

[Anela]

My hair is weird. I need to wash it almost every day, sometimes just so that I feel really clean (when I'm depressed), but my hair acts like curly hair, in that it needs moisturizing shampoo and conditioner. I can't use oil on it, unless it's before I shampoo, because it's too heavy for my hair, but I spray in leave-in conditioner to calm it down, or to brush through it and then rinse out again, to ease all of the frizz. I'm trying to sort it out by also using more flax oil in my diet again. That used to remove tangles, when I took it in milkshakes or oatmeal. I have a bad stomach condition in which most food and liquids aren't tolerated, unless I'm ultra careful (and even then, I can have trouble) so that's affecting my hair, too. I've had a lot of it fall out, or break off. But I was thinking the same thing about people who are sick on TV: you rarely see them fighting tangles, or even having hair that needs brushing that much, when they've been in bed for days. I was really sick in May, so tired I could barely brush my hair, so it was huge and loaded with tangles, within a couple of days. I had such a fight with it, after two weeks, I almost decided to shave it off. Almost. I don't think I would be brave enough to do it. 

Is this where the talk was of skinny jeans last week, or the week before? You've all just reminded me of another pair of skinny jeans that loosens up on me, and is comfortable (except for when they start to fall down from my waist, a bit). I haven't seen them for a few weeks. the other pair is too tight, most of the time. I have one pair of boot-cut jeans that I've had for seven years, and worn and washed so much, that they're a lot softer than they used to be. They're a pair that are comfortable enough to wear around the house. 

[auntlada]

On 11/3/2018 at 7:24 PM, bilgistic said:

I loathe skinny jeans with the heat of a thousand nuns. They're all anyone has sold for years now and I hate it. I found a pair of bootcut jeans in a resale shop and that's all I wear. For pants, I wear straight-leg or slightly tapered. Death to skinny pants.

If you can wear men's jeans, try that. I recently bought men's Wranglers because they fit as well as the one half-decent pair of women's jeans I found (which is to say, not perfect, but OK) and they were 100 percent cotton, so they felt like jeans used to feel before the manufacturers started adding spandex to women's jeans.

I see women all over wearing skinny pants or leggings or yoga pants, and many of them are not the shape of the women on TV who are wearing them. That is the most polite way I can put it. I mean, I don't want to get into body-shaming because if you feel good wearing them, then good for you, but I wouldn't do it. (Also, leggings are not pants; you should wear something long enough to cover your butt with them.)

[bilgistic]

I have womanly thighs, hips and a gut, so men's jeans are not an option.

[Browncoat]

I love my 100% cotton LL Bean jeans.  They’re a little spendy, but they fit and they last.

[Broken Ox]

Apparently it's really easy to wire up someone else's home to spy on them at any time.

[auntlada]

10 hours ago, Broken Ox said:

Apparently it's really easy to wire up someone else's home to spy on them at any time.

And they will never know. Although I will admit that this is why I put the camera on our computer facedown on the desk.

[ganesh]

Spy on me all you want. You'll get an eyeful. 

[shapeshifter]

Only on TV do parents regularly have to explain why the kids (who are not old enough to work as full time actors) are MIA.
A recent example from Manifest: 
[Ben to Grace as they gather up their unconscious feverish son to go to the hospital] Where's Olive?
[Grace] She spent the night with Avery.

[Audience Dear Husband] Who's Avery?
[Audience Spouse] Avery must be Olive's friend. You know: Avery Convenient. Daughter of neighbors Mr. and Mrs. Convenient.

[Jacqs]

When i had to go to hospital one night when i was 8, my little brother got dropped off at Mum's friend's place for the night.

[BaggythePanther]

On 10/21/2018 at 1:43 PM, Blergh said:

On TV, anytime one goes to a restaurant, a bar or even a nightclub with a house band playing onstage, somehow those bands ALWAYS play just loud enough to be heard but quiet enough for the protagonists to be able to converse with each other without having to raise their voices - even on shows where their background soundtracks WAIL   out the dialogue!   

 If only house bands existed in Real Life that one could converse over without having to SHOUT! 

I was watching a show the other day where the main characters were in a club. I cracked up when they started yelling over the loud music because I immediately thought of this post.

[Jacqs]

 real serial killers usually just surrender to the police when they're caught, but the TV serial killer has back-up plan on top of back-up plan to get away. 

The writers want to create the next Moriarty, but fail to realize that most real serial killers have the wrong psychology to be a Moriarty.

[DrSpaceman73]

On the topic of pills being flushed or put down the sink, which you shouldn't do, you also should throw disposable contacts in the sink or toilet.  Which I used to do.  The water systems don't filter them out and you end up with microplastics in the water. 

But I do think lots of people do indeed flush old medication, even though they shouldn't.  You're supposed to crush them or mix them with old coffee grounds and throw them away. 

[Browncoat]

1 hour ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

But I do think lots of people do indeed flush old medication, even though they shouldn't.  You're supposed to crush them or mix them with old coffee grounds and throw them away. 

Or bring them to the drug take-back day(s) sponsored by the local police, if your area has those.

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

But I do think lots of people do indeed flush old medication, even though they shouldn't.  You're supposed to crush them or mix them with old coffee grounds and throw them away. 

Wait. Is this an environmentally friendly thing? Not just something someone (not me) saw on TV?
I ask because where I live you have to pay to have your drugs accepted for disposal at the local police station.

And how is mixing random prescription medications with coffee grounds much different than tossing them in the garbage that includes coffee grounds, as well as other food bits (since my apartment's pipes are too narrow to support a garbage disposal)?

[Shannon L.]

Only on tv will a stranger show up at your door with a child and not only break the news that a relative has died, but that you are now a guardian to the child, drop said kid off and leave. 

Edited December 8, 2018 by Shannon L.

[Nordly Beaumont]

2 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

Only on tv will a stranger show up to your door with a child and not only break the news that a relative has died, but that you are now a guardian to the child, drop said kid off and leave.

AND only on tv will the honorary title of Godparent = the responsibility of guardian.

[biakbiak]

7 hours ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

AND only on tv will the honorary title of Godparent = the responsibility of guardian.

It might not happen as often as on tv but it isn’t necessarily rare in real life. My godparents were who my parents had designated in their will and I have been desgniated the same in my goddaughter’s parents wills.

[Jacqs]

8 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Only on tv will a stranger show up at your door with a child and not only break the news that a relative has died, but that you are now a guardian to the child, drop said kid off and leave. 

Who can forget Buffy of Family Affair, dropped off by Aunt Fran?

[Jacqs]

question: Aside from Cary Grant, has there been any attempt to de genderize bubble baths on TV or film.

Once again, Buffy from Family Affair:

[Katy M]

12 hours ago, Jacqs said:

Who can forget Buffy of Family Affair, dropped off by Aunt Fran?

Apparently I can.  Did she just drop off Buffy?  What about the other 2?  Did they split them up amongst 3 relatives?  If so, that's especially terrible with Buffy and Jody being twins.  I know, sorry, I diverged from the topic, but I really have to know now.

[shapeshifter]

21 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Only on tv will a stranger show up at your door with a child and not only break the news that a relative has died, but that you are now a guardian to the child, drop said kid off and leave. 

This reminds me of (and is probably a derivative of) the baby-in-the-basket trope, which goes back at least as far as oral tradition with Moses, so definitely not Only On TV, heh, but arguably not IRL—today—in the U.S.

[Blergh]

2 hours ago, Katy M said:

Apparently I can.  Did she just drop off Buffy?  What about the other 2?  Did they split them up amongst 3 relatives?  If so, that's especially terrible with Buffy and Jody being twins.  I know, sorry, I diverged from the topic, but I really have to know now.

 IIRC, correctly, once Aunt Fran dropped off Buffy, the floodgates opened for the other two guardians (on the kids' late mother's side) to dump Jody then Cissy on Uncle Bill's doorstep (the latter two literally within seconds of each other). To bring this back on topic, guardians of orphaned sibs who'd split them up DO NOT take them to another relative's home and drop them off within SECONDS of each other (at least I hope not). 

[Dr.OO7]

"Uptight Loves Wild" pairings always work out blissfully. Neither party ever learns to modify their behavior to accommodate the other and the relationship never gets strained due to the different personality types.

And it's ALWAYS the "wild" person to get the "uptight" to loosen up and learn to have fun. 

I just watched  a Hallmark Channel movie ''Christmas In The Air'', and I appreciated that for all of the networks typical cheesiness, for once, not only is it the "uptight" person to help the "wild" person get his act together, he actually WANTS her to do this, having hired her to organize his life.

[Jacqs]

Buffy has a tan line in that bubble bath screencap from Anissa Jones's time on the beach but there were no PSAs in the sixties telling you tanning led to skin cancer like there are today.

[Silver Raven]

On 12/8/2018 at 4:45 PM, Jacqs said:

Who can forget Buffy of Family Affair, dropped off by Aunt Fran?

I was just watching a judge show this morning where a grandfather dropped his daughter's kids off at his sister's house and left them there.  Their mother was ruled incompetent to raise children and their father was nowhere to be found, apparently, so the grandfather decided he didn't want the burden, and dumped them on his sister.

[2727]

Someone, usually the wife, prepares a full breakfast with eggs, pancakes, bacon. The spouse and teens walk in and grab a piece of fruit, "No time to eat! Bye!"

Pretty sure that's why so many TV housewives day drink.

[Katy M]

28 minutes ago, 2727 said:

Someone, usually the wife, prepares a full breakfast with eggs, pancakes, bacon. The spouse and teens walk in and grab a piece of fruit, "No time to eat! Bye!"

Pretty sure that's why so many TV housewives day drink.

Although, since this happens every day, wife should be smarter, save herself time and stop making breakfast:)

People also order food, either leave before it comes or take one bite and leave.  And don't pay.  Nobody every pays for food in TV land.  Unless it's a plot point of how one person never pays and the other person has to pay and get bitter about it.

[topanga]

3 hours ago, Katy M said:

Although, since this happens every day, wife should be smarter, save herself time and stop making breakfast:)

People also order food, either leave before it comes or take one bite and leave.  And don't pay.  Nobody every pays for food in TV land.  Unless it's a plot point of how one person never pays and the other person has to pay and get bitter about it.

Or when they get into a fight with there dinner date and drop some money on the table before storming out of the restaurant. Is that even enough money?

[Dr.OO7]

As a doctor myself, this one drives me absolutely crazy:

Anytime the police need to arrest a doctor, they go barging into his/her office/exam room/operating room, always ignoring whoever tells them "You can't go in there!" Showing absolutely no regard for the patient whose privacy they're violating, or for contaminating the sterility of the OR, or for embarrassing the doctor and endangering his/her reputation (because the way these crime shows are, half the time, the doctor will turn out to be innocent).

I HATE it.

Edited January 7, 2019 by Camille

[Katy M]

14 hours ago, Camille said:

As a doctor myself, this one drives me absolutely crazy:

Anytime the police need to arrest a doctor, they go barging into his/her office/exam room/operating room, always ignoring whoever tells them "You can't go in there!" Showing absolutely no regard for the patient whose privacy they're violating, or for contaminating the sterility of the OR, or for embarrassing the doctor and endangering his/her reputation (because the way these crime shows are, half the time, the doctor will turn out to be innocent).

I HATE it.

Yeah, the only real justification for doing that is if they are arresting the doctor for killing patients during surgery, or something to that effect.  In other words, the patient (or someone else in that room) being in immediate danger.

[Aryanna]

On 1/5/2019 at 5:05 PM, 2727 said:

Someone, usually the wife, prepares a full breakfast with eggs, pancakes, bacon. The spouse and teens walk in and grab a piece of fruit, "No time to eat! Bye!"

Pretty sure that's why so many TV housewives day drink.

In addition to this (and this is especially true of old TV shows and movies) people sitting down to eat a leisurely breakfast and it's already light outside and the sun appears to have been up for some time. What time does the work day start for these people? Is it not 8am like most normal people?

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, Aryanna said:

In addition to this (and this is especially true of old TV shows and movies) people sitting down to eat a leisurely breakfast and it's already light outside and the sun appears to have been up for some time. What time does the work day start for these people? Is it not 8am like most normal people?

A lot of "normal" people start at 9 a.m.  Moreso in the old days.  9 to 5 actually a lot of times meant 9 to 5, not 8 to 7.

[Raja]

1 hour ago, Aryanna said:

In addition to this (and this is especially true of old TV shows and movies) people sitting down to eat a leisurely breakfast and it's already light outside and the sun appears to have been up for some time. What time does the work day start for these people? Is it not 8am like most normal people?

 

5 minutes ago, Katy M said:

A lot of "normal" people start at 9 a.m.  Moreso in the old days.  9 to 5 actually a lot of times meant 9 to 5, not 8 to 7.

Also you may be suffering the bias of posting during the winter as opposed to summer

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, Katy M said:

3 hours ago, Aryanna said:

In addition to this (and this is especially true of old TV shows and movies) people sitting down to eat a leisurely breakfast and it's already light outside and the sun appears to have been up for some time. What time does the work day start for these people? Is it not 8am like most normal people?

A lot of "normal" people start at 9 a.m.  Moreso in the old days.  9 to 5 actually a lot of times meant 9 to 5, not 8 to 7.

1 hour ago, Raja said:

Also you may be suffering the bias of posting during the winter as opposed to summer

Some places of work--especially retail--open at 10am, I guess so employees aren't hanging around waiting for customers to start wandering in. One of my daughters is in NYC and claims "normal" work hours there are 10-7. IDK. 

[Annber03]

Yeah, I've worked retail and a lot of stores around here open at 9 or 10 am. And I live in Iowa. Our mall's hours are 9 am to 9 pm on weekdays, 10-7 on Saturdays, and 12-6 on Sundays. 

[ganesh]

4 hours ago, Katy M said:

A lot of "normal" people start at 9 a.m.  Moreso in the old days.  9 to 5 actually a lot of times meant 9 to 5, not 8 to 7.

Still though. It takes time to make a big breakfast and sit down and eat. You're not going to hork it down after 5 minutes and run out the door if you spent a half hour in the kitchen getting it all ready. Then you have to clean up. 

[shapeshifter]

9 minutes ago, ganesh said:

Still though. It takes time to make a big breakfast and sit down and eat. You're not going to hork it down after 5 minutes and run out the door if you spent a half hour in the kitchen getting it all ready. Then you have to clean up. 

Plus commute time. If you leave any time after 5 am, multiply by 2 or more.

But as long as Donna Reed stays home to do the dishes, there should be plenty of time to get to work and school.

[ganesh]

My commute is 7 minutes. If there's two cars at the rotary I lay on my horn like it's NYC.