S09.E10: Confronting Meri

[Sandy W]

36 minutes ago, Owwwww ma leg said:

Question? When the fam ate in Alaska and Meri  is alluding to leaving, is it because she is genuinely scared that JO is going to ruin the family or is planning her get away with her banana? I have rewatched and I’m not sure of the time line or if Meri is being honest?

In my jaded opinion, Meri's "fear for safety of family" was a cover-up she came up when when the story was exposed.  

[MV713]

11 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I don't know if it's me, but most of that conversation with Christine and Meri was lost on me.  Why the constant references to "safe"? Is there some sort of danger I'm not aware of? And Meri just constantly puts on that pucker face and is "guarded."  I think that's another word for "cold bitch," but I'm really not sure. "I'm guarded right now! My wall is going up!" she says- which is just a lame excuse to carry her grudge another day. 

I think of "you are not safe" as meaning - no one can talk to you, look at you or even ask you a damn question because you will immediately bite our heads of and stomp away in a hissy fit or cross your arms and legs and look at your phone to disconnect.

Its like walking into a grenade and they are all sick of it.

8 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

In my jaded opinion, Meri's "fear for safety of family" was a cover-up she came up when when the story was exposed.  

I also think that JO/Sam threatened to expose all the dirty family secrets and truths that they all try to hide - which JO did anyway in her book and website!

[Sandy W]

11 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

My personal opinion on this is that Meri was in love and getting ready to run away with the person she thought was Sam. More telling is how little the family reacted at that meal when Meri announced out of nowhere that she was taking off. They acted like she had just announced she was leaving for a week, and not possibly for forever. Most of the family has been emotionally disconnected from Meri for a very long time.

It appeared to me that the family had an inkling that the conversation was going to take place and the scene was enacted for the cameras.  Robyn sat there nonchalantly slurping her soup, I think she at least, was in on the story and if Robyn knew, so did Kody.

[AZChristian]

3 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

It appeared to me that the family had an inkling that the conversation was going to take place and the scene was enacted for the cameras.  Robyn sat there nonchalantly slurping her soup, I think she at least, was in on the story and if Robyn knew, so did Kody.

I had a feeling that Christine and Janelle were about to offer to help Meri pack.

[SongbirdHollow]

IMO the reason Meri wants Mariah to meet Cheryl is so Meri can say, “See? What I did wasn’t so bad, it could happen to anyone, like this lady!”

Her insistence that every one is Judging Her in her talk with Christine bears that out. And her continued inability to fess up is the real problem. She just doesn’t get it, and for that I do feel a bit sorry for her. 

[Claire Voyant]

I can't understand the mind sets of certain people.  Polygamy is so far out in left field for me, it's not even funny.  I could no more share my husbands luuuv with another woman or women, than I could throw an elephant fifty feet.   I'm a firm believer in monogamy. 

IMO, men have enough trouble keeping ONE woman happy, and vice versa.   For a man... or woman for that matter... to bring  another "partner" into the marriage relationship is foolish and asking for all kinds of trouble.   They can spout off God's approval and celestial eternity on a bazillion planets in the hereafter, all they like, it's still wrong and doesn't work.   

I feel sorry for these folks, but not so sorry I could ever agree with such an honestly sick, sad and silly lifestyle.  As always, the only ones who seem to suffer the most are the children.  That fact is revealed too often and so clearly in this continuing saga of relationship failures and what NOT to do to keep your marriage sacred and blessed.

IMO, any polygamist is an inherent abuser.   Lots of passive-aggressive crap goes on and an excess of shared love isn't even in the picture.   Sadism and masochism appear to reign supreme when no one has the capacity to see it for what it is.  Love doesn't survive there. 

Now for the petty side of me:  Kody needs to get rid of that ridiculous man bun.   He looks stupid. He just plain ain't sexy enough to pull it off especially at his age.   I have a hard time with him in the first place, because I don't  respect him or his belief system one iota, but now he's even more repulsive than ever.   He looks dirty and wet.  Ick.  Who wants to touch that?  And yes, I'd like my cream served warm in a saucer, pleeze. 
 

[Kellyee]

Quote

Her insistence that every one is Judging Her in her talk with Christine bears that out. And her continued inability to fess up is the real problem. She just doesn’t get it, and for that I do feel a bit sorry for her. 

Is it really that Meri doesn't get it, or is it that if Meri admits what the real problem is and says it out loud, she has to act on it? Which likely means either moving out and taking care of herself without TLC or Kody's money, or really working on her relationships. I think Meri is just stalling for time. It wouldn't surprise me if she is still seeking Internet relationships. 

Meri whining about the birth of Maddie's baby is just another way to deflect attention, and a storyline for TLC. Other than Maddie working for Meri recently, we've seen no evidence that Meri and Maddie have any kind of deep relationship or emotional connection.

[OutTheBlue]

I'm rehashing stuff I'm sure, but I had to make an account after this episode...

1. What does Meri have to be guarded about? The other wives should be guarded against her, not the other way around.

2. Why does Meri sound out of breath every time she talks? It drives me crazy.

3. I just can't believe after 20+ years of sharing a husband, these women are so damn awkward around each other...they act like strangers. Yet Robyn acts the most at ease sometimes.

4. Mariah seems happy but smug now. I mean it's great she can finally be herself and her family accepts her, but she's always annoyed me. Maybe it's BEC. I do like she gave her mom shit about the catfish situation though.

[ghoulina]

8 minutes ago, OutTheBlue said:

1. What does Meri have to be guarded about? The other wives should be guarded against her, not the other way around.

THANK YOU!!!!!

[KateHearts]

On 3/19/2018 at 5:29 PM, lucy711 said:

Janelle needs to get out of the house more and go to a job- I think she would find greater fulfillment there than having banal chit-chat with the sister wives.

I was under the impression that Janelle was the only SW who worked steadily for any period of time. Isn't she an accountant? I thought there was a time when she was the breadwinner, and also managed the family's finances.

[Libby]

Christine and Meri were on the outs before the show started and before Meri brought Robyn into the family.

Christine said in the book and on the show that she stopped allowing Meri to talk to her kids because Meri was so mean to them.

Both Janelle and Christine were done with Meri. That's why Meri brought Robyn into the family. She wanted someone to team up with against Janelle and Christine.

That blew up in her face. She had it coming after tormenting Janelle, Christine, and their children all of those years. She finally pushed her hand too far and she hurt herself. YAY, I love karma.

[tabloidlover]

11 hours ago, Owwwww ma leg said:

Question? When the fam ate in Alaska and Meri  is alluding to leaving, is it because she is genuinely scared that JO is going to ruin the family or is planning her get away with her banana? I have rewatched and I’m not sure of the time line or if Meri is being honest?

Lemme help you with this.   Meri is never honest.  You're welcome

[Dave James]

On 3/18/2018 at 8:43 PM, WaterSpirit said:

so Mariah does NOT have to meet Cheryl to gain insight into the Cat Fishing incident. Truth is Meri was cheating on Kody, and it sounds like she was trying to get poor Mariah on her "side" and include her with this fab now guy. (so she could meet her new Dad?) Then to say that Mariah did not know what was going on is a lie. She knew, she told you, and you did not accept it. Woman when will you stop imposing your SHIT on your daughter...she is the only one left that you have a chance of having real love with. Always has an agenda.

Good Closure for Mariah? Oh Have you? Damn....Meri sounds so mean. Now she has to play if you do this for me...

 

DAMMIT I HATE MERI.

 

I hear Meri is blocking people...probably has someone to read and block for her. It's tempting to give her one shot of the Truth.

I think catfish was TLC cover story for Meri affair she got caught. why the family has pushed her away.family wasn’t happy about her giving out family secrets.

[Owwwww ma leg]

Robyn slurping on her soup was bizarre, was it public knowledge at this time? It was very hard to tell for me if the angst and fear were related to running off with the banana, or that she knew she was about to be exposed by JO? Without being able to synch up the cat fishing with filming I'm not sure But i do think for whatever reason (and I think its about absconding with the banana) she wanted out! There was an awkward honesty in her demeanor and Meri wanted to disappear

[Phronsie]

1 hour ago, Dave James said:

I think catfish was TLC cover story for Meri affair she got caught. why the family has pushed her away.family wasn’t happy about her giving out family secrets.

This makes sense to me.  I’ve been amazed she allows the show to continually dredge it up....sheesh, you’d think she would be mortified and NEVER want to talk about it again.   

Being so insistent about her daughter meeting Cheryl....that makes absolutely no sense.  How the heck does that give her daughter “ closure”?  Why wouldn’t Meri just want to put the whole sordid mess behind them all?

I have not followed this show for a long time, like many of you.  Mariah comes across to me as spoiled and snotty.  Her demeanor is, not surprisingly, a lot like her mother.  

[Meowwww]

14 hours ago, Owwwww ma leg said:

Question? When the fam ate in Alaska and Meri  is alluding to leaving, is it because she is genuinely scared that JO is going to ruin the family or is planning her get away with her banana? I have rewatched and I’m not sure of the time line or if Meri is being honest?

Meri was going to leave.  

[Sasha888]

8 hours ago, Libby said:

Christine and Meri were on the outs before the show started and before Meri brought Robyn into the family.

Christine said in the book and on the show that she stopped allowing Meri to talk to her kids because Meri was so mean to them.

Both Janelle and Christine were done with Meri. That's why Meri brought Robyn into the family. She wanted someone to team up with against Janelle and Christine.

That blew up in her face. She had it coming after tormenting Janelle, Christine, and their children all of those years. She finally pushed her hand too far and she hurt herself. YAY, I love karma.

I agree with you. I'm sure Janelle & Christine are not blameless and did their share of snarky crap, but I think the root of the problem is Meri. If she hadn't been such an old bag to them, they wouldn't have had to "team up" on her in the first place.

In the first season Meri, all teary-eyed, sincerely (eye roll) told us that she considered her sister wives her best friends in the world and if anything happened to her, she knew they'd raise her daughter the way she wanted her to be raised.

In my mind, I imagine both Janelle & Christine bolting out the door immediately after she said that, to draw up legal documents that would ensure if anything happened to them, Meri would be the LAST person to raise their children!

The sisterhood bullshit has been blown to bits over and over again as the years have passed. During the episode where they went to protest at the state capital, Robyn stayed home to  "mind the fort" and I think that scene with Christine drawing up legal papers to turn guardianship of her kids over to Robyn if she got put in "jell" was contrived, scripted crap. And everyone just hoped we wouldn't notice that as Janelle prepared for the march, she made "other arrangements" for her children. She wouldn't even leave them with Robyn for a couple of days.

The name of this show should be "Rival Wives", not "Sister Wives".

[Marigny]

This show and all of the people on it are exhausting. I don't understand why Meri doesn't just pack her stuff and leave. She's miserable and so is everyone around her. 

[TurtlePower]

2 hours ago, Marigny said:

This show and all of the people on it are exhausting. I don't understand why Meri doesn't just pack her stuff and leave. She's miserable and so is everyone around her. 

I've been wondering the same thing for a long time. Kody's done with her, the other wives distrust and don't like her and Meri herself is distant and is threatening everyone with a "wall". 

"This just makes each of us better".  Better change their intro (and I bet a creative person could come up with a great montage of them being miserable using the intro music!). 

Edited March 24, 2018 by TurtlePower

[Kohola3]

2 hours ago, Marigny said:

I don't understand why Meri doesn't just pack her stuff and leave. She's miserable and so is everyone around her. 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

[AZChristian]

5 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

The name of this show should be "Rival Wives", not "Sister Wives".

How about "Septic Wives"?  Because they're all full of _____.

[Juliegirlj]

Meri wants Mariah to meet Cheryl and her daughter to show her that all is forgiven with them, and that Mariah should do the same, as well as to show her that Meri wasn’t the only dummy that fell for Batman Sam.... 

Isnt Aspyn’s boyfriend the brother of one of the Aldridge’s ( Seeking Sister Wife)? Aspyn will make a good First Wife ?.

[Sandy W]

2 minutes ago, Juliegirlj said:

Meri wants Mariah to meet Cheryl and her daughter to show her that all is forgiven with them, and that Mariah should do the same, as well as to show her that Meri wasn’t the only dummy that fell for Batman Sam.... 

Isnt Aspyn’s boyfriend the brother of one of the Aldridge’s ( Seeking Sister Wife)? Aspyn will make a good First Wife ?.

Meri will gloss over the part where Cheryl was a single unattached woman when she engaged with the catfish.  She won't confront the fact that at the crux of Mariah's anger with Meri was the reality that Meri was technically sneaking around and lacked the integrity to either bail out of her marriage or cut off the flirtatious texts before they got out of hand.

[Higgins]

Well, Meri is single too and always has been. They all are.

Edited March 24, 2018 by Higgins

[Kohola3]

1 minute ago, Higgins said:

Well, Meri is single too and always has been. They all are.

Not technically.  She was legally married to Koodie.  Now Sobyn is.  So two legal marriages, one divorce.  The other two are legally single.

[DakotaJustice]

2 hours ago, Juliegirlj said:

Meri wants Mariah to meet Cheryl and her daughter to show her that all is forgiven with them, and that Mariah should do the same, as well as to show her that Meri wasn’t the only dummy that fell for Batman Sam.... 

Isnt Aspyn’s boyfriend the brother of one of the Aldridge’s ( Seeking Sister Wife)? Aspyn will make a good First Wife ?.

Aspyn's fiancee made it pretty clear in a few sentences that his parents aren't polygamists, that he's not affiliated with the AUB, and he has no interest in polygamy whatsoever. 

He seems sincere to me so I am happy to take him at his word.

[Kohola3]

1 hour ago, DakotaJustice said:

He seems sincere to me so I am happy to take him at his word.

From your lips to God's ear....

[ghoulina]

2 hours ago, DakotaJustice said:

Aspyn's fiancee made it pretty clear in a few sentences that his parents aren't polygamists, that he's not affiliated with the AUB, and he has no interest in polygamy whatsoever. 

He seems sincere to me so I am happy to take him at his word.

Right. Didn't he say his GRANDPARENTS were from that church? But that his parents had left it, and he has no part in it? So they have a similar background, he and Aspyn. 

[Pickleinthemiddle]

13 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

During the episode where they went to protest at the state capital, Robyn stayed home to  "mind the fort" and I think that scene with Christine drawing up legal papers to turn guardianship of her kids over to Robyn if she got put in "jell" was contrived, scripted crap. And everyone just hoped we wouldn't notice that as Janelle prepared for the march, she made "other arrangements" for her children. She wouldn't even leave them with Robyn for a couple of days.

I would imagine that with the two grandmas, were watching their (respective) grandchildren who didn't go.  Did I use that word right?

[MarysWetBar]

On 18/03/2018 at 7:50 PM, 80sBaby said:

Meri is vile. She of course had to make Axel's birth about her feelings. This woman is disgusting. Did she want a red carpet up to the bedroom door and trumpeters to announce her and Mariah? Always the victim. Poor Meri...It's exhausting watching, it has to be awful for them. 

She says "My family doesn't trust me..." as if they are wrong for feeling the way they do. She chose to distance herself and lay on her wet bar phone boning "Sam". I don't feel bad for her at all. The evil catfisher took advantage of Meri...GTFOH. Meri was delusional and narcissistic enough to believe this young, hot millionaire was ready to run off into the sunset with her. If Sam was real Meri would have been gone. The other wives and Kodi know it too. Kodi will never have a romantic relationship with Meri again EVER.

I've watched this show from the first episode and Meri has always been an entitled bitch. Go to your "ancestral home/B&B/Mom's house/Escape plan/Example of self entitlement" and GTFO....sick of her shit. LOL Sorry but my goodness she irritates me.

GO CHRISTINE!!!!! I am loving the way she is handling Meri!!!

I did not have sexual relations with that woman. ????

[eskimo]

On 3/23/2018 at 10:30 AM, Claire Voyant said:

I can't understand the mind sets of certain people.  Polygamy is so far out in left field for me, it's not even funny.  I could no more share my husbands luuuv with another woman or women, than I could throw an elephant fifty feet.   I'm a firm believer in monogamy. 

IMO, men have enough trouble keeping ONE woman happy, and vice versa.   For a man... or woman for that matter... to bring  another "partner" into the marriage relationship is foolish and asking for all kinds of trouble.   They can spout off God's approval and celestial eternity on a bazillion planets in the hereafter, all they like, it's still wrong and doesn't work.   

IMO, any polygamist is an inherent abuser.   Lots of passive-aggressive crap goes on and an excess of shared love isn't even in the picture.   Sadism and masochism appear to reign supreme when no one has the capacity to see it for what it is.  Love doesn't survive there. 

 

I agree with this on so many levels.  For the sake of argument, let's put Meri's horrific personality aside for a minute, while I bitch about the general concept of polygamy. 

They say that this lifestyle is designed, in part, to help them overcome jealousy and selfishness, but this only applies to women.  When does the husband get to deal with his natural human emotion of jealousy when he is the ONLY man in the lives of several women?  I call massive bullshit on this claim.  Even if Kody was already distanced from Meri (and despite the fact that she's not taking responsibility), he got a good ol' dose of jealousy when he realized she might have eyes for someone else.  I'm sure it was more of an ego-bruising than broken love, but the point is the same, this struggle is only for women. 

Each wife gives 100% of her romantic self to her husband and, in this case, gets 25% in return.  At best.  So Kody gets 100% times four, and each woman gets one quarter.  The man gets to feel genuinely wanted most of the time and the women are boxes to be marked off on a to-do list.  Plus he gets to bask in just how wonderful he is as they all have to deal with their extreme jealousy over his highness.  Barf.  

There's really no reason for the husband to put in any extra effort during a bumpy time in a marriage.  Which WILL happen at one time or another.  First of all the other wives are not going to just give up their precious sliver of your affection for another wife.  Also, what are his incentives to meet your needs, between several wives all of his needs are likely pretty close to being met.  IMO, that makes it easier to avoid dealing with issues. 

I know it's a simplified version, and it's got to be hell on the men at times too, but as a woman, these are things I do NOT want in a relationship.  I mean, it takes me and my husband forever to make simple decisions, throw in two or three more adults who have equal say and I don't think anything would ever get accomplished.  Someone would ask where we should go for vacation and everyone starts jockying for position, and suddenly I've got bodies to hide.  Lol

[Roslyn]

5 hours ago, eskimo said:

Each wife gives 100% of her romantic self to her husband and, in this case, gets 25% in return.  At best.  So Kody gets 100% times four, and each woman gets one quarter.  The man gets to feel genuinely wanted most of the time and the women are boxes to be marked off on a to-do list.  Plus he gets to bask in just how wonderful he is as they all have to deal with their extreme jealousy over his highness.  Barf.  

There's really no reason for the husband to put in any extra effort during a bumpy time in a marriage.  Which WILL happen at one time or another.  First of all the other wives are not going to just give up their precious sliver of your affection for another wife.  Also, what are his incentives to meet your needs, between several wives all of his needs are likely pretty close to being met.  IMO, that makes it easier to avoid dealing with issues.

This is why I always laugh at Kody's twisted catch phrase "Love should be multiplied, not divided", it's just hilarious to me...sorry Kody but that doesn't mean what you think it means!!

It reminds me of the Brady show, Five Wives when he decided that he wanted a whole night to himself.  Instead of rotating the wives so they only get him one every five nights, he wanted one night for himself with no wives and no children.  The wives weren't having it.  If you are going to use the "you signed up for this" on the women when they complain about the arrangements, then that goes for Mister Mister as well.  He signed up for five women and gaggles of children...suck it up buttercup!!!

[AZChristian]

2 hours ago, Roslyn said:

This is why I always laugh at Kody's twisted catch phrase "Love should be multiplied, not divided", it's just hilarious to me...sorry Kody but that doesn't mean what you think it means!

Many years ago, I read a book on successful marriages in which they maintained that no successful marriage is 50/50.  It's 100/100.  And I agree.  Both parties in a couple have to commit 100% for there to be the best marriage possible.

Given that, if Kody has four wives, they each have to give 100% to him, and he should give 100% to EACH of them.  That means he DOES think love should be multiplied . . . and he's supposed to give 4 X 100%, or 400%.  He is currently giving 0% to Meri (as she was giving to him during the catfishing episode).  Their "marriage" is so out of balance that it may be unfixable.  NEITHER of them is giving even 50% . . . and until she recognizes that she has to accept accountability for her actions, and he chooses to forgive (requiring work from BOTH of them), there's no hope.

Edited March 30, 2018 by AZChristian
Clarity

[Claire Voyant]

26 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Many years ago, I read a book on successful marriages in which they maintained that no successful marriage is 50/50.  It's 100/100.  And I agree.  Both couples have to commit 100% for there to be the best marriage possible.

Given that, if Kody has four wives, they each have to give 100% to him, and he should give 100% to EACH of them.  That means he DOES think love should be multiplied . . . and he's supposed to give 4 X 100%, or 400%.  He is currently giving 0% to Meri (as she was giving to him during the catfishing episode).  Their "marriage" is so out of balance that it may be unfixable.  NEITHER of them is giving even 50% . . . and until she recognizes that she has to accept accountability for her actions, and he chooses to forgive (requiring work from BOTH of them), there's no hope.

I have a successful marriage to one man for over 40 years.  So far, so good.   I know what it takes though.  It takes a firm resolve not to commit murder, but we are living proof it can be done.  I usually give him another week, but sometimes it's no more than a day if I'm really pissed off.  :)

Kody has zero concept of forgiveness when it comes to his overly inflated ego.  I see no hope for their relationship.  Who can up and change who they really are?  I know I can't, and I've lived a long enough time to have given that idea a try and it does.not.work.    He will never forgive her, because he CAN'T.  Doing what she did on National tv?  Nope.  Not gonna happen.   He will never accept an ounce of responsibility since polygamy is a wonderful thing. 

Meri needs to go away very fast, very soon and very far.  She's not a nice person in the first place and no one in that family can make her nicer, I don't care who asks her if something is wrong.  Of course something is wrong!  Something is always wrong.  Her endless pouting and protective wall building has become so tediously annoying and monotonous  I just want to smack her upside her head.   I can't imagine living with that horse face every day.  GAH  

So, about the only thing these people have shown me over the years is that polygamy looks to be an even more awful way to live than one could even imagine. 

[eskimo]

I wonder what would happen if each sister wife could take more than one husband (other than it being confusing as hell).  How would the men get along with their husband brothers?  I think what would happen is that eventually people would drift closer to their favorite spouse and it would start to somewhat resemble monogamy.  Or 1960's San Fransisco.  One or the other.  Lol

Meri needs to be gone yesterday.  She doesn't want them and they don't want her, but nobody wants to be the first asshole to say it out loud.  Doesn't matter if it's what they all want, a scapegoat is needed in this family and it will be whoever actually has the balls to say it first. 

[Adiba]

52 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Many years ago, I read a book on successful marriages in which they maintained that no successful marriage is 50/50.  It's 100/100.  And I agree.  Both parties in a couple have to commit 100% for there to be the best marriage possible.

Given that, if Kody has four wives, they each have to give 100% to him, and he should give 100% to EACH of them.  That means he DOES think love should be multiplied . . . and he's supposed to give 4 X 100%, or 400%.  He is currently giving 0% to Meri (as she was giving to him during the catfishing episode).  Their "marriage" is so out of balance that it may be unfixable.  NEITHER of them is giving even 50% . . . and until she recognizes that she has to accept accountability for her actions, and he chooses to forgive (requiring work from BOTH of them), there's no hope.

I agree that a successful marriage is 100/100%, however I think this can only be possible in a monogamous relationship—ymmv.

You’d have to be superhuman to give a hundred percent to multiple spouses, imo. Because love isn’t just about romantic feelings, it’s about mental, emotional, and physical energy— it’s also about the time and attention given to another, etc. I think it would take a very extraordinary person to do this effectively (which, imo, Kody is not).

[Claire Voyant]

7 hours ago, eskimo said:

I agree with this on so many levels.  For the sake of argument, let's put Meri's horrific personality aside for a minute, while I bitch about the general concept of polygamy. 

They say that this lifestyle is designed, in part, to help them overcome jealousy and selfishness, but this only applies to women.  When does the husband get to deal with his natural human emotion of jealousy when he is the ONLY man in the lives of several women?  I call massive bullshit on this claim.  Even if Kody was already distanced from Meri (and despite the fact that she's not taking responsibility), he got a good ol' dose of jealousy when he realized she might have eyes for someone else.  I'm sure it was more of an ego-bruising than broken love, but the point is the same, this struggle is only for women. 

Each wife gives 100% of her romantic self to her husband and, in this case, gets 25% in return.  At best.  So Kody gets 100% times four, and each woman gets one quarter.  The man gets to feel genuinely wanted most of the time and the women are boxes to be marked off on a to-do list.  Plus he gets to bask in just how wonderful he is as they all have to deal with their extreme jealousy over his highness.  Barf.  

There's really no reason for the husband to put in any extra effort during a bumpy time in a marriage.  Which WILL happen at one time or another.  First of all the other wives are not going to just give up their precious sliver of your affection for another wife.  Also, what are his incentives to meet your needs, between several wives all of his needs are likely pretty close to being met.  IMO, that makes it easier to avoid dealing with issues. 

I know it's a simplified version, and it's got to be hell on the men at times too, but as a woman, these are things I do NOT want in a relationship.  I mean, it takes me and my husband forever to make simple decisions, throw in two or three more adults who have equal say and I don't think anything would ever get accomplished.  Someone would ask where we should go for vacation and everyone starts jockying for position, and suddenly I've got bodies to hide.  Lol

Bodies to hide!  My kinda person!  LOL 

[Gothish520]

23 minutes ago, Adiba said:

I agree that a successful marriage is 100/100%, however I think this can only be possible in a monogamous relationship—ymmv.

You’d have to be superhuman to give a hundred percent to multiple spouses, imo. Because love isn’t just about romantic feelings, it’s about mental, emotional, and physical energy— it’s also about the time and attention given to another, etc. I think it would take a very extraordinary person to do this effectively (which, imo, Kody is not).

I think Kody has realized that polygamy is a bitch - he all but said so during the tell-all. I'm sure when he was a young stud and had energy and ego to burn, he felt like King of the World - now he's older and has financial and emotional responsibilities to two dozen people, as well as the scrutiny of the world (all of his own doing, of course) - the bloom is off the rose for him. 

[AZChristian]

3 hours ago, Claire Voyant said:

I have a successful marriage to one man for over 40 years.  So far, so good.   

53+ years here, and we're closer than ever.  And grateful.

3 hours ago, Adiba said:

I agree that a successful marriage is 100/100%, however I think this can only be possible in a monogamous relationship—ymmv.

I agree with you completely.  Even looking back to the Bible, polygamy caused a whole lot more problems than it solved.  100% means "all."  There is no such thing as 400% for one person to give, split evenly between 4 people who are each giving 100%.  

[neh]

On 23/03/2018 at 1:15 PM, Kellyee said:

Is it really that Meri doesn't get it, or is it that if Meri admits what the real problem is and says it out loud, she has to act on it? Which likely means either moving out and taking care of herself without TLC or Kody's money, or really working on her relationships. I think Meri is just stalling for time. It wouldn't surprise me if she is still seeking Internet relationships. 

Meri whining about the birth of Maddie's baby is just another way to deflect attention, and a storyline for TLC. Other than Maddie working for Meri recently, we've seen no evidence that Meri and Maddie have any kind of deep relationship or emotional connection.

I just rewatched season 1 and Meri and Kod y admitted to martial that existed for almost 10 years into their marriage.  While Meri said she was all about the family, she admitted to negative feelings towards the other wives, especially Robyn.  Meri was negative and annoying from the beginning of the show.  Not much has changed, well except the strange fashion.

[Normades]

Everytime Meri went on about being "safe" all I could think of was the mad dentist (Lawrence Olivier) in Marathon Man saying "is it safe?" While he drilled Dustin Hoffman's teeth! That's what this show is becoming, tortuous dentistry!

[sucker4reality]

I'm sorry if this has been discussed before but I'm going to bring this thread back up to talk about Robyn's puzzle piece necklace she designed for Dayton. I have two nephews with Autism spectrum disorder--one is 14 and the other is 5--and have had several high school students with ASD as well, and I'm just learning that some Autistic adults find the puzzle piece symbol outdated and pretty much offensive.  (links to an article from learnfromautistics.com)

 

Since I  didn't know about that side of things, I can't necessarily fault Robyn for not knowing EXCEPT that she has a child with Autism and planned this as part of her business. You'd think she'd have done her research. Part of me would like to think she has done her research and maybe Dayton (who is now legally an adult right?) just doesn't find the puzzle piece symbol offensive(the commentary on the link I pasted said that a lot of Autistic children like it but that Autistic adults find it patronizing) but I have a feeling she didn't know. 

Edited April 2, 2018 by sucker4reality

[SongbirdHollow]

Considering the author of that article repeatedly uses the term “autistics” rather than “people who have autism “ I’m not sure she’s the authority on the subject! I thought that was supposed to be offensive as well. 

[Gothish520]

8 hours ago, sucker4reality said:

I'm sorry if this has been discussed before but I'm going to bring this thread back up to talk about Robyn's puzzle piece necklace she designed for Dayton. I have two nephews with Autism spectrum disorder--one is 14 and the other is 5--and have had several high school students with ASD as well, and I'm just learning that some Autistic adults find the puzzle piece symbol outdated and pretty much offensive.  (links to an article from learnfromautistics.com)

 

Since I  didn't know about that side of things, I can't necessarily fault Robyn for not knowing EXCEPT that she has a child with Autism and planned this as part of her business. You'd think she'd have done her research. Part of me would like to think she has done her research and maybe Dayton (who is now legally an adult right?) just doesn't find the puzzle piece symbol offensive(the commentary on the link I pasted said that a lot of Autistic children like it but that Autistic adults find it patronizing) but I have a feeling she didn't know. 

My cousin has two children with autism, a daughter who is severely autistic and a son who is mildly so. She has the puzzle piece tattooed on her back. The symbol is still widely used. You are always going to find someone who has a problem with something. 

[Kath94]

On 3/30/2018 at 8:57 AM, Adiba said:

I agree that a successful marriage is 100/100%, however I think this can only be possible in a monogamous relationship—ymmv.

You’d have to be superhuman to give a hundred percent to multiple spouses, imo. Because love isn’t just about romantic feelings, it’s about mental, emotional, and physical energy— it’s also about the time and attention given to another, etc. I think it would take a very extraordinary person to do this effectively (which, imo, Kody is not).

Considering the fact that the Kodster was worried that Mariah's DC march would suck energy from the upcoming plyg march, I really doubt he's got enough energy to go around 4X.  Define energy in any way you wish.

[TurtlePower]

5 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

My cousin has two children with autism, a daughter who is severely autistic and a son who is mildly so. She has the puzzle piece tattooed on her back. The symbol is still widely used. You are always going to find someone who has a problem with something. 

I'm on the spectrum (high functioning) and have no issue with the puzzle piece. in fact, my life felt like a 300 piece puzzle, previously to which only 4 diagnoses (pieces) were made as to what was "wrong" with me (that left 296 pieces). Learning what my condition is was a huge relief and filled in rest of the puzzle. For me, it WAS a puzzle that needed to be "solved".