S09.E10: Confronting Meri

[VedaPierce]

8 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

My sister colors while watching tv too! There are only a handful of shows, a small handful, that will draw her attention fully.

I love it! SO CUTE! I knit or play candy crush. I can't just sit and stare at the screen anymore, it helps me focus to do something with my hands.

[LilWharveyGal]

For once I’m actually eager to watch the week’s episode, and reading all your insightful posts has made the wait more bearable.  Let’s see how all the angsty puzzle pieces fit together.

Previouslies:

Maddie labored loudly, but Meri arrived during the only silent moment.

“Sparkly” Ysabel has scoliosis.

Meri wants the house, and Kody doesn’t want to pay.

We start at Janelle’s, where Meri is visiting with Maddie and Caleb and holding Axel.  On the couch, Kody is sporting a man-bun and Janelle opines that Axel’s the cutest baby ever.  While Meri bounces him, Robyn voiceovers that she’s bringing Ari and Sol over to meet 11-day-old Axel for the first time because they were sick when he was born.  Well, Kody, Aurora, and Day’un are coming, too, and I see Christine and Gwendlyn in the room.  Uncle Sol holds the baby.  Robyn says that it’s common for generations to be crossing like this in polygamist families, and that Ari is actually closer in age to Axel than to Sol.  That’s the MSWC family planning method in action, folks.  Janelle thinks it’s awesome that their small group of adults created this, “posterity.”  Kody says that seeing Maddie’s pregnancy and now having Axel around the house may be one of the best memories of his entire life.

After some random desert shots we’re at Christine’s and Meri is telling us about her friend Cheryl in Atlanta who wants to come visit.  Flashback to Meri’s visit to Cheryl.  Cheryl was also a victim of Meri’s catfish, Sam.  Meri tells the family that Cheryl would like to come, and says that she knows Cheryl well enough that she’d stay in her house.  Robyn interviews that the catfish saga affected the whole family, and Robyn feels like they’re still dilling with the fallout to this day.  Flashback to Meri glued to her phone and computer in 2015.  Robyn says they didn’t know what was going on with Meri and they worried that she was leaving them.  Meri tells us that Cheryl plans to bring her daughter, and she wonders if the daughter and Mariah can commiserate over their shared experiences.  Meri now considers Cheryl a good friend because not many other people could understand the “emotional abuse” they went through.  Kody asks if they all have to go see Nancy because they’re having a friend come over.  Christine is echoing my thoughts when she responds, “You are so weird.”  Kody interviews that Nancy takes him to task a lot and gives him responsibilities, and he wishes she’d knock it off because he already has four nagging wives.  Janelle thinks it will be interesting to meet Cheryl to see if she’s similar to Meri and what made her susceptible to the catfish.  Christine gets a good-natured dig in when she asks Meri if Cheryl is real, and everyone has a laugh.  Then Robyn comments that Meri and Cheryl are like sister wives and collapses in laughter at her own witticism.  Meri wonders if the wives are able to laugh now because they’re past the catfish incident, or if they’re still trying to work through it.

Shish kabobs are on the grill and Kody tells us that they’re having a big family BBQ because they can.  Well, allrighty then.  Robyn is being awkward as she pointedly says hi to Mitch, who we haven’t seen yet on the show but who is Aspyn’s boyfriend.  Aspyn tells us that they’ve been dating a little over 3 months.  On the couch, Mitch introduces himself.  He was born in Utah and has known the Browns for about 10 years because his family was involved in the same polygamist group, but his parents were not polygamists and neither is he.  (Fellow Aspyn fans, insert the Hallelujah Chorus here.)  He has left the church because he doesn’t agree with them.  Robyn tells us that Mitch also helped the family move when they fled Utah for Las Vegas.  Aspyn admits she had a crush on him back then.  A bedraggled, apron-clad Kody pops up in the kitchen window to jokingly threaten that he knows where Mitch lives.  Tony tells Mitch that Christine is much nicer to Mitch than she was to him.  We move to the backyard and Mariah tells us that she and Audrey have now been together for 5 months.  She has graduated from Westminster and is going to spend the summer working.  Meri interviews that Mariah has always talked about wanting to go to Seattle.  (KEEP OUR NAME OUT YO’ MOUF! *Ahem* Sorry…)  This week they are finally taking the trip.  But, in true Meri fashion, a surprise announcement will be involved.  She’s going to use the trip to ask Mariah to please come meet Cheryl and her daughter when they come to Vegas.  Back at the BBQ, Christine gets everyone’s attention to talk about Ysabel’s scoliosis.  After boot camp, her curve has improved 10 degrees from 45 down to 35.  Kody is still not interested in surgery.  Christine would also prefer Ysabel to continue with activities for “fighting back.”  Ysabel displays her biceps for the group. 

We’re jetting off to Seattle, and don’t worry, I’m taking a chill pill.  Mariah tells us that she’s wanted to go to Seattle for years because she loves rain, mountains, and coffee.  She thinks that the trip is Meri’s way of trying to make things better between them.  As they head to the Great Wheel, Meri says that things between Mariah and Audrey seem to be going well.  Now we’re magically transported from the waterfront to Capitol Hill where Mariah and Audrey enjoy the rainbow crosswalks.  Since Mariah and Audrey live in Salt Lake City, Meri is enjoying this chance to see them together.  Now we’re back at the Great Wheel, and as they ride Meri voiceovers that Mariah was very mad at her when she was going through a very bad time in her life.  Flashback to their awkward post-catfish discussion.  Now Meri says they’re just trying to work on things.  As they head into a restaurant she tells us again that she really wants Mariah to come meet Cheryl and her daughter.  After they’re seated, Mariah suggests that they go to a gay bar in the evening.  Meri’s first excuse is that she’s not gay, but Mariah says that queer spaces are friendly toward everyone.  Meri’s second excuse is that she hardly drinks.  When that also seems to fail, she picks up the plant on the table to try to totally change the subject.  Meri then drops the news that she has a friend coming to visit and she’d love for Mariah to meet her.  Mariah is very quiet when she hears that it’s Cheryl, and Meri tells us that Mariah shuts down whenever anything having to do with that time period comes up.  Meri tells Mariah that Cheryl is an awesome person, and Mariah is sure she is but she’s worried about old feelings coming up.  “That’s how I know she hasn’t dealt with it,” says Meri. 

After the break we’re still at the restaurant (Dahlia Lounge – try the coconut crème pie, ladies!) and Meri is telling Mariah that she thinks meeting Cheryl could be good closure for her.  Mariah replies that she has already moved on and let it go.  Meri repeats her request, and Mariah repeats that she’d love for Meri to come out to a gay bar.  Meri proposes that she’ll go to the gay bar if Mariah meets Cheryl.  Mariah doesn’t look thrilled but says ok.  Meri admits that she’s pushing this on Mariah but it’s a “tough love” situation, and that Mariah has to dill with it.  Back on Capitol Hill, the group heads into Unicorn, the gay bar (Try the Unicorn Balls, ladies!)  Meri tells us that she’s never heard of most of the alcohol on the menu, and she gets a Diet Coke.  She also feels too old to be there.  While they play Skee-Ball in the bar, Meri interviews that she felt like a failure when Mariah came out, both for not seeing it and struggling with it.  She has seen increased peace and calm in Mariah since she came out.  If Meri could go back in time to the coming out and give herself advice, she’d tell herself that it’s not about her, it’s about Mariah.   

Back in Las Vegas, Meri is pulling up solo to Nancy’s for a session with the wives.  She tells us that she was not present when Madison had her baby, but that Janelle, Christine, and Robyn were.  Robyn informs us that they’ve actually visited Nancy a couple times to discuss what happened at Axel’s birth.  She, Christine, and Janelle also arrive alone.  Janelle tells us that she’s trying to be calm and logical, but because the issue involves Madison her “Mama Bear” is uncaged.  Nancy also notes that the group has discussed this issue a number of times and she’s interested in wrapping it up.  To begin, she asks everyone what they’d like to accomplish during the session.  Christine wants Meri to have closure.  Janelle feels like this is a symptom of a larger problem, where the family reaches out to Meri but if things don’t go perfectly Meri shuts down and goes away.  I wish those ugly shoes would go away.  Meri thanks Janelle for her perspective but says that she feels differently.  In the confessional, Christine says, “We’ve only been here for 5 minutes and it’s getting yucky already!”  Janelle continues that it’s not getting through to Meri that they really want her, even though they’re constantly inviting her over.  Meri responds that whenever she’s invited to do stuff she comes.  We flashback to the neverending labor.  Meri responded to a group text from Janelle and came over while everyone was still playing a game in the living room.  When the cameras left, Meri needed to go home to do, “a sale,” and said that Madison probably didn’t want her there anyway.  Madison confirmed everyone would be kicked out when she hit transition.  Robyn says that if Meri had stayed for the game and then moved into the bathroom like she and Christine did, she would have been there for the whole thing.  Back at therapy, Meri says that she didn’t know everyone was in the bedroom.  “Where would we have been, Meri?” asks Janelle.  Another flashback to Madison in Janelle’s bed, and everyone clearing out so she could try to rest.  At that point, Meri came back and sat down with Janelle and Sheryl, and upon hearing that nothing was going on left to go get Mariah and Audrey.  Janelle tells us that after that things really picked up.  Robyn and Christine returned and everyone was called back into the bedroom.  Then Meri returned with Mariah and Audrey, whispered, “They’re probably back there,” but didn’t approach the bedroom.  Janelle tells us that none of this was on her mind while she was with Madison.  Christine says that she didn’t want to risk mentioning Meri to Madison for fear that Madison thought the room was already too crowded and would kick everyone out.  At Nancy’s, Meri feels Janelle is being defensive.

Meri tells Nancy that she feels like she’s over this and that she’s put it behind her, but that she doesn’t think Janelle is over it.  Janelle says that she is but her concern is that it looks like Meri was left out.  Janelle tells us that she’s not at all defensive about this, but frustrated.  Meri informs Nancy that none of the wives have been at the other’s births’, so it was not a big dill to leave when she saw that the bedroom door was shut.  Her nose wasn’t put out of joint until she realized that Christine and Robyn had been present.  Furthermore, after the birth Kody sent a group text saying, “Nobody is to come until we say.”  Meri felt that that was specifically to keep her away.  Robyn says something about that message being for the kids, and Janelle adds that at that point Madison was hemorrhaging and everyone left the room.  Janelle thinks Meri read more into the message because it was from Kody and their relationship is strained.  Meri disagrees.  She adds that she’s not upset with Madison about this at all.  Robyn says it dawned on her that Meri wasn’t present, but she didn’t feel it was her place to reach out.  Meri places the blame on Kody and the sister wives.  Janelle says that it is sad that Meri wasn’t there to share the moment.  Nancy asks the group what happens with empty nest moms in their experience.  Christine says that they can turn into more of a grandmother or matriarch role.  Robyn adds that sometimes they become the cool mom that the remaining kids can do something fun with.  Meri interviews that she hasn’t figured out her role.  Janelle talks about seeing older wives together at church, and Christine notes that the Brown wives haven’t done anything together socially in a long time.  Janelle thinks that lunch dates are superficial, but Christine thinks they’re a good place to start.  She tells us that when she and Kody were having a rough time, they had to plug through these fake events to build a new foundation.  Uhoh, Meri’s fingers are searching for eye boogers.  Apparently the mention of Kody’s name has caused her to break down.  Robyn tells Meri that the rest of them are there for Meri, and that she belongs with the family.  She interviews that Meri has been distant for a couple of years and that she’s sick and tired of Meri not being invested and questioning the other wives’ motives. 

The wives are now heading to lunch.  Christine says they just got out of therapy, but if that’s true then they all ran home to change clothes first.  Meri is going into the lunch without any expectations.  Christine tries to make small talk while Janelle and Robyn attempt to disappear into their menus and Meri stares into space.  Robyn finally throws Christine a bone and shows them all her necklace which is one of her new MSWC pieces.  Christine apologizes to her for not seeing her vision when the business began, and asks if she still needs help.  Meri pops up to sadly tell us that she used to help Robyn closely and they had a well-oiled machine going, but then things changed.  Robyn brings things back to reality and reminds us that Meri left the business because she said she was going back to school.  Robyn felt ditched.  After some more awkward silences and poorly edited shots where the items on the table change continuously, the wives get up to go.

We’re back at Christine’s and she wants to tell Meri something about Axel’s birth that’s more honest than she’s been before.  Neither of them are looking forward to the conversation.  There are Christmas decorations near Christine’s door, so apparently it’s been seven months of dishonesty.  They sit down in the library and Christine opens by saying that she thinks it was awful that Meri wasn’t present for the birth and she never wants it to happen again.  To be honest, however, if she had been in charge she wouldn’t have had Meri come in.  Christine explains that Meri brings a lot of baggage into the room; she doesn’t know if anyone else was thinking that, but she personally doesn’t know how to deal with Meri’s “bristles.”  Meri interviews that she’s shocked that Christine is using “this venue” to bring this up with her.  I think Christine is trying to explain that she wants to get to a place where she would be comfortable inviting Meri to a similar event that she was in charge of.  She continues by talking about the lunch, where she could see that Meri was upset but she didn’t ask what was wrong because she didn’t know what to say or do.  Meri just says, “ok.”

As we flashback to the birth again, Christine reiterates that Meri’s presence can put a damper on things.  Meri tells Christine that what she saw as “upset” at the lunch maybe wasn’t “upset,” so Christine needs to learn Meri’s terminology because Meri needs to protect herself, maybe from the semantics police or something.   Meri interviews that she thinks the family talk about her a lot behind her back, and so she goes into things guarded because she doesn’t know what they’re thinking.   Christine would love it if Meri could come into a room and have it be safe for everybody, and she wants to do whatever she can to make Meri more safe.  Meri doesn’t know, because the conversation is coming off as accusatory to her and she’s putting her wall up.  She says that it’s not worth her time and sanity to dill with because there are other people in her life with whom she’s comfortable and she doesn’t have issues.  Christine realizes that and that’s why she wants things to be improved so that Meri can feel similarly in the family.  Meri says that’s not coming across at all.  Christine tries to rephrase.  Meri responds that she was fine with what happened and she’s not going to let Christine tell her that her feelings were wrong.  Meri interviews that she feels like Christine is holding back and not saying everything, and she doesn’t think the family trusts her.  The conversation goes around again, with Christine not getting an answer about if she can even ask Meri, “How are you?” and Meri feeling judged and guarded by everyone except her best friends.

Oh lord, after the break they’re still talking.  Christine interviews that it’s great that Meri can have fun with her friends and that it’s probably because Meri doesn’t come to her friends with baggage.  Christine asks Meri why she thinks she has judgment from her.  Meri’s answer is because they don’t have any sort of relationship when she sees Christine being open with everyone else.  Christine interviews that she really doesn’t want to spend the energy to break down that wall, but she feels that she probably should.  Meri tells Christine that they haven’t had a good relationship in about 10 years, and she fills like Christine doesn’t want it.  Christine says that she does want it, and she’d love for it to be fun and safe, and that ideally none of them should feel fear and apprehension before a conversation.  Meri is guarded and doesn’t know what to do or say.  Christine declares that she’ll start by asking Meri how she’s doing, and when Meri starts to shoot that down Christine says she just has to start trying and will respect Meri’s wishes if she doesn’t want to talk.  Boy, the Brown Christmas dinner is going to be tense, but I guess we won’t see that on air for a year or two. Before Meri leaves, Christine stops her to give her a hug.  Shifting gears, we’re now at Meri’s and she’s preparing to leave with a file folder containing her offer on the Parowan house.   If her loan is approved, she’s just got to get her down payment together and wait on the paperwork.  The family does not know she’s doing this.  Vickie greets her at the B&B, and becomes emotional about selling when Meri presents her offer.  Vickie is shocked that the family doesn’t know.  Meri explains that she’s waiting ‘til it’s like, done, and like, official, and like, done.  Meri tells us that the home could be hers in 6-8 weeks, and that this is a big dill.  Vickie and Meri sign the paperwork.  Meri insists she has no plans to leave Las Vegas, but that she could see herself living in Parowan if things were different.

And that's all, folks!  Guess we don't see Cheryl until next season.

Next week:  Time for the annual Tell Nothing!             

[LilSebastian]

On 3/18/2018 at 10:37 PM, gardendiva said:

Did anyone else notice Robyn’s goiterlike bulge around her neck? I especially noticed it in her talking heads so maybe it is a more recent development. But once I noticed it I could not stop staring at it.

Thank you!!! She needs to get that checked out, same as the thing under Janelle's nose.  I was so distracted I couldn't even concentrate on the awesome S-slinging going on.

[Kohola3]

26 minutes ago, LilWharveyGal said:

Oh lord, after the break they’re still talking.

Geez, that must have been gruesome to recap 'cause God knows is was torture to read.  You deserve an award for getting through it while maintaining your sanity.

[WaterSpirit]

11 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

Love the analysis! Thanks!

when they were discussing their new homes and Janelle spoke up in a very gentle way about Meri demanding the same amount of money as the other 3 wives were getting, even though she has 3 times less the people in her sub-family, and therefore 3 times less the expenses, Meri jumped down janelle's throat with a "IM SORRY I TOOK WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS YOURS, JANELLE!" In such a nasty, hostile way, she showed that she is loaded for bear in dealing with the rest of them, and would let loose if they dared question her in any way. Or deny her anything to which she feels entitled. If that was me that Meri was addressing, I would realize that I was dealing with an unwell person. She is incapable of empathy. She will only see things from her perspective. I bet she has never apologized for anything. Ever. I too would not include her in anything. She can cry me a river.  

And that is my take on Meri as well. She can cry me a lake. A Big Lake, that initially is a bit brackish with all those tears,  but with local glacial runoff would eventually become a perfect place to have a log cabin bed and breakfast, with waterskiing and swimming nine months out of the year, horseback riding, and land set aside for dog rescue. But I digress. Meri, cry me a Lake.

[Roslyn]

First..I do have to say I don't know how you guys can watch this show in real time on telly.  It takes me most of the day to work my way through the whole thing in 10-15 minute increments.  All this to keep track of, the drama, the time stamps...it's exhausting. 

I just sat through the therapy and birth drama a second time, just because I really don't have anything better to do. I made note of the time stamps etc and I'm glad that production put it together that way to see more of an exact progression.  My opinion...

Meri missed the birth because of her whole dynamic with the whole damn family.  This happened because of all of them really.  Meri wasn't willing to barge in there to see what was going on and they weren't wanting to disrupt the flow by bringing Meri in. Instead of spending time with all of them Meri waltzed off to sell her leggings because "I told my people I would have a sale".  Really!!??  If you really really wanted to be involved then you would have been there, but Meri wasn't comfortable enough hanging out with people she doesn't want to hang out with...to cancel her damn leggings sale.  Come ON...a quick facebook message posted to say OMG guys I'm not selling tonight because Maddy is working hard on having the baby...back soon.

Also...when both Christine and Robyn admit that they weren't saying anything so they didn't get kicked out (that was low Christine...real low) and then Robyn giving side eye in therapy to Christine while telling Meri that SHE thought about how Meri wasn't with them, SHE thought about it several times.  Then Robyn even admits that MADDY said "hey...get Meri over here" but then no one did that.  No one whipped out their phones to grant Maddy's wishes. 

During all of that Meri never jumped on Christine (though they had their fun one on one...), Meri never jumped on Robyn.  She just said with a laughing voice "that didn't work out" Yet Meri was snide and bristly the whole time with Janelle.

What was not being said was, in my opinion, that Meri was putting more blame on Janelle and Kody than the others.  In therapy Meri is leaning as far away from Janelle as possible with that crossed leg and wiggly foot. Janelle is bristly right back because she is pissed and frustrated that Meri is trying to ruin the experience of Maddy's birthing for everyone with her bloody drama. At no time did Janelle give a passing thought to Meri's absence...she was focused on her daughter.  As she should have been. Christine and Robyn sit there all sheepish because they KNEW they should have done something...and they didn't.  Christine didn't want to lose her own seat and then she says that she didn't want Meri there because of Meri's poor attitude.

The whole thing is one big shit show because Meri doesn't involve herself in the family, and the family isn't going out of their way to beg her.  Janelle said over and over how they invite her and invite her and it is Meri who either comes and is aloof and distracted and always on her phone, or she doesn't come at all.

Why wasn't Kody there?  He played a major role in it all.  My opinion??  There was no way, shape or form that he could even attempt to act his way into an even temper over the whole matter and he was kept away because at the end of the day he is an ass who doesn't want to deal with his four "nagging wives" and doesn't want to be in the office with those four plus Nancy nagging at him as well.  He's the God in Training and "ain't got time fo that".

It's Meri's choice in the end.  How badly does SHE want to be involved...she is going to have to put as much work into her family as she does hocking her leggings and fawning over an old house. She is always on twitter after these shows saying how she isn't going anywhere and "you only see us on tv" and crap like that.  You can't take much of anything as actuality....but shit did go down this night and you could see it on Meri's face when she walked into the door after the baby was born. 

ALL relationships take work.  Husband and wife, friend and friend, parent and child.  Nothing is handed to you. 

[Meowwww]

1 hour ago, WaterSpirit said:

And that is my take on Meri as well. She can cry me a lake. A Big Lake, that initially is a bit brackish with all those tears,  but with local glacial runoff would eventually become a perfect place to have a log cabin bed and breakfast, with waterskiing and swimming nine months out of the year, horseback riding, and land set aside for dog rescue. But I digress. Meri, cry me a Lake.

You had me at “dog rescue”. ?

[TurtlePower]

1 hour ago, WaterSpirit said:

And that is my take on Meri as well. She can cry me a lake. A Big Lake, that initially is a bit brackish with all those tears,  but with local glacial runoff would eventually become a perfect place to have a log cabin bed and breakfast, with waterskiing and swimming nine months out of the year, horseback riding, and land set aside for dog rescue. But I digress. Meri, cry me a Lake.

Good thing she demanded a wet bar for her tears. 

[sadiebyuca]

45 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

Good thing she demanded a wet bar for her tears. 

That wet bar is the gift that keeps giving. 

[Sasha888]

1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

2 hours ago, WaterSpirit said:

And that is my take on Meri as well. She can cry me a lake. A Big Lake, that initially is a bit brackish with all those tears,  but with local glacial runoff would eventually become a perfect place to have a log cabin bed and breakfast, with waterskiing and swimming nine months out of the year, horseback riding, and land set aside for dog rescue. But I digress. Meri, cry me a Lake.

You had me at “dog rescue”. ?

LOL. You beat me to it. I was going to warn WaterSpirit that if you offer me swimming, horses, and dog rescue, you will never get rid of me!

[NotinKansasanymore]

Can you all imagine if they all lived in the same house? I think at least two of the wives would move out if they did. 

That's what's so funny about this show to me. Listen to their taglines in the shows opening, and how they are one big family.

If anything I think this show shows how polygamy just doesn't work. The only thing keeping this family together is that they have money now and can afford to avoid each other.

IF they all still lived together, I'm curious as to what you all think would happen? 

[Absolom]

Still haven't watched but ratings are in:

1.547 M viewers and a .43 rating.  14th cable show of the evening.

[suomi]

1 hour ago, NotinKansasanymore said:

Can you all imagine if they all lived in the same house? I think at least two of the wives would move out if they did. 

That's what's so funny about this show to me. Listen to their taglines in the shows opening, and how they are one big family.

If anything I think this show shows how polygamy just doesn't work. The only thing keeping this family together is that they have money now and can afford to avoid each other.

IF they all still lived together, I'm curious as to what you all think would happen? 

I think Christine and Janelle and their mothers could tolerate living together. Except for Truely, those kids are tweens and teens. Robyn would want her own place for her entourage of little kids and sister/niece/whoever she is. Meri would hit the road. They would never, ever live under one roof again. That ship sailed, encountered rough water, and sank.

[Sasha888]

1 hour ago, NotinKansasanymore said:

IF they all still lived together, I'm curious as to what you all think would happen?

Janelle would get off her ass and get a real job. Because after one day she'd be desperate to get her own place.

I think Robyn and Christine might be able to co-exist.

Meri...ugh. Meri would lecture everyone on the CORRECT way to do absolutely EVERY little thing, tell them all what horrible things they've done to her and demand apologies, and then when they didn't listen to her, her head would explode.

After Meri and Janelle were gone, Robyn and Christine would cease to get along because they'd have no one to be passive aggressive to but each other.

[SunnyBeBe]

I thought Janelle worked in real estate. Is there something new that says she's no longer doing that?  She's a motivated person, imo, and I can't imagine her not being employed outside the home.  Did I miss something?

I do like Christine's perky and direct side this season.  It could be a combination of a lot of things, like the support of her mom, medication, counseling, and of course, Robyn...you know she gave Robyn credit for helping bring her and Kody closer together.  I think she meant that Robyn had gotten Meri out of the picture. (Just kidding.)  Robyn does kind of remind of the saying, You better be careful what you wish for. lol  Maybe, this full legal marriage is not what she had envisioned. 

I really wish that Christine would gather a little more strength in dealing with Ysabel's potential surgery.  She's making it like a big bad monster and I don't see how that helps her daughter prepare.  To me, you accept that it may happen, but, that if it does, it's manageable. It's not the end of the world.  Christine seems more afraid than her child. She needs to get a grip and support more, imo and stop catastrophizing it.  The same goes for Kody. 

Edited March 21, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[DakotaJustice]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I thought Janelle worked in real estate. Is there something new that says she's no longer doing that?  She's a motivated person, imo, and I can't imagine her not being employed outside the home.  Did I miss something?

I do like Christine's perky and direct side this season.  It could be a combination of a lot of things, like the support of her mom, medication, counseling, and of course, Robyn...you know she gave Robyn credit for helping bring her and Kody closer together.  I think she meant that Robyn had gotten Meri out of the picture. (Just kidding.)  Robyn does kind of remind of the saying, You better be careful what you wish for. lol  Maybe, this full legal marriage is not what she had envisioned. 

I really wish that Christine would gather a little more strength in dealing with Ysabel's potential surgery.  She's making it like a big bad monster and I don't see how that helps her daughter prepare.  To me, you accept that it may happen, but, that if it does, it's manageable. It's not the end of the world.  Christine seems more afraid than her child. She needs to get a grip and support more, imo and stop catastrophizing it.  The same goes for Kody. 

 

Officially, Janelle is working in real estate, but how hard she's working it remains to be seen. I just checked the TMI Realty website and they have NO current listings. 

I don't see Janelle as an especially motivated or motivational person. All one has to do is read her blog posts on the Strive website and you can see that she truly is a Debbie Downer.  Even after all these years on her "weight loss journey" (hah!) She clearly hates even getting out of bed in the morning and goes on endlessly about how she has to force herself to do anything fitness related. 

Yeah, she had a job at the beginning of the show for the state of Utah - basically sitting at a desk, pushing paper, drinking coffee and munching on office snacks while Christine did the grunt work raising her kids.  We don't know if she ever got a promotion during her time with the state. 

And put me down as one of the people who don't see a maintenance of the weight she lost with trainer Sean. Her face looks thinner maybe, but that's it. 

Note that I'm not intending on fat-shaming, but she is trying to make a second career as a health coach and fitness personality without having anything to show for it.

Edited March 21, 2018 by DakotaJustice

[gunderda]

16 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

Um, because an entire film crew is standing around?

no because the film crew is there for the birth, not because christine, robyn and however made kids are in the bathroom

we don't know why meri didn't ask the film crew.  my guess is because she assume no one but maddie, caleb, janelle and possibly kody were in that bathroom and therefore didn't ask because as she said, she was totally fine with maddie not wanting anyone there.  once she found out they WERE all there, that's when she felt left out. 

[AZChristian]

6 minutes ago, gunderda said:

my guess is because she assume no one but maddie, caleb, janelle and possibly kody were in that bathroom . . . 

But in that case, wouldn't Christine, Robyn, and several brothers and sisters have been sitting in the living room, waiting for Baby Brush to arrive?  If that living room was empty, there are two reasons:  Everyone is in the bathroom/bedroom, or there were complications and everyone has gone to the hospital.  Meri didn't ask either way.

[gunderda]

3 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

But in that case, wouldn't Christine, Robyn, and several brothers and sisters have been sitting in the living room, waiting for Baby Brush to arrive?  If that living room was empty, there are two reasons:  Everyone is in the bathroom/bedroom, or there were complications and everyone has gone to the hospital.  Meri didn't ask either way.

I don't see why another option couldn't be that they're both back at their own houses waiting for the news.   No one said they were camping out in the living room once Maddie kicked them out. 

[AZChristian]

4 minutes ago, gunderda said:

I don't see why another option couldn't be that they're both back at their own houses waiting for the news.   No one said they were camping out in the living room once Maddie kicked them out. 

But if the cameras were all at Janelle's house, it's more likely that Christine, Robyn, et al would be there, too.  Especially since there were obviously cameramen in the empty living room (since they couldn't all fit in the bathroom).

ETA:  The weird thing (to me) is that Meri didn't even ask the cameramen where everyone was.

Problem is, I'm going with logical thought processes, and we're talking about the Browns.  LOL.

Edited March 21, 2018 by AZChristian

[Sandy W]

5 minutes ago, gunderda said:

I don't see why another option couldn't be that they're both back at their own houses waiting for the news.   No one said they were camping out in the living room once Maddie kicked them out. 

First question most people would have asked camera crew in LR......where is everyone?

[Gothish520]

15 minutes ago, gunderda said:

I don't see why another option couldn't be that they're both back at their own houses waiting for the news.   No one said they were camping out in the living room once Maddie kicked them out. 

But people had been camping out in Janelle's house in various configurations for days during the labor. Logic dictates that at least a few people would be hanging out in the living room while Maddie was in active labor. Kicked out of the room doesn't mean kicked out of the house. At the very least, Gabriel and Savanah would be there.

Edited March 21, 2018 by Gothish520

[Sasha888]

2 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

9 minutes ago, gunderda said:

I don't see why another option couldn't be that they're both back at their own houses waiting for the news.   No one said they were camping out in the living room once Maddie kicked them out. 

First question most people would have asked camera crew in LR......where is everyone?

Yep. Meri just flat out dropped the ball on this one, IMO. 

Just like when she failed to show up for Gabriel's homecoming from basic training, Meri's officially calling it a "miscommunication". So there was a "miscommunication" for her missing Gabriel's event, and also for missing the birth of the baby.

Seems to me that Meri's definition of the word miscommunication is "I didin't give enough of a crap to find out what was going on." 

She didn't bother to find out why everyone was over at Janelle's house grilling in the driveway when Gabriel came home, and she didn't bother to find out where everyone was during the birth, either.

Since she had to have multiple sessions with ineffectual Nancy about her being "left out" of the birth, I imagine something similar went down when she was "left out" of Gabriel's homecoming as well.

[yankeefan]

How hard would it have been for Meri to send out a group text "where is everyone?"

[Gothish520]

3 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

Yep. Meri just flat out dropped the ball on this one, IMO. 

Just like when she failed to show up for Gabriel's homecoming from basic training, Meri's officially calling it a "miscommunication". So there was a "miscommunication" for her missing Gabriel's event, and also for missing the birth of the baby.

Seems to me that Meri's definition of the word miscommunication is "I didin't give enough of a crap to find out what was going on." 

She didn't bother to find out why everyone was over at Janelle's house grilling in the driveway when Gabriel came home, and she didn't bother to find out where everyone was during the birth, either.

Since she had to have multiple sessions with ineffectual Nancy about her being "left out" of the birth, I imagine something similar went down when she was "left out" of Gabriel's homecoming as well.

Meri doesn't seem to make enough of an effort, true, but I also think that the others are just so tired of dealing with her bull crap that they probably don't put forth much of an effort to make her feel included either. And I have to say I can't blame them at this point. If Meri is not around, my thought process would be don't poke the bear.

[Sasha888]

1 minute ago, Gothish520 said:

Meri doesn't seem to make enough of an effort, true, but I also think that the others are just so tired of dealing with her bull crap that they probably don't put forth much of an effort to make her feel included either. And I have to say I can't blame them at this point. If Meri is not around, my thought process would be don't poke the bear.

Okay, scary...we are sharing a brain today, because I was just about to add that to my post! They're just so sick of it at this point that they're not willing to shoot off a text or phone call when Meri hasn't shown up yet. 

[Light]

On 3/19/2018 at 12:31 PM, Tabbygirl521 said:

And that’s what she signed on for: being Wife #1 with all the benefits and privileges attached thereto. There is supposed to be a hierarchy in these ridiculous set-ups. But she got the rug pulled out from her big-time when Kody fell so hard for Robyn and started changing the rules. 

And I believe she was already hurt and bewildered before that as Kody added wives. No matter how much she, as a teenager, thought she was on board with polygamy because that’s how she was raised (with the added bonus of thinking she was doomed eternally if she didn’t stay in the cult), who can ever predict how their heart will react as a relationship unfolds and challenges occur? Intellectually she may have believed she could handle plural marriage but reality probably smacked her hard. I feel very sad when I see pictures of her and Kody as newlyweds. They both look radiantly happy. Those days are OVER. 

Therapy, and Christine trying to break through, are all well and good. On the other hand, the other sister wives are the women who, intentionally or not, helped break her heart, so how trusting and open and loving  would she feel at this point? And Kody doesn’t give a shit.

In Mary’s shoes, I would no doubt be just as sad, disapppointed, hurt, GUARDED, and ripe for a good old-fashioned catfishing. 

I do hope I would be more open to trying to fix things - or be brave enough to move on. But it’s hard enough sometimes to leave one lousy husband, never mind a zillion kids. And  the poster upthread who pointed out that Mariah holds some cards here - good call. Kids often take sides in a divorce and not always the “correct” one. Other kids might ostracize her, too.

And she has NEVER lived a life other than in polygamy, on which her eternal salvation depends. Scary stuff for her.

Yes! I so agree! While she doesn’t help take care of them, I do think she would miss the kids and also the other wives, and their company.  She will never leave, and I don’t think she should.  She has a problem with instant gratification. She would fail the kindergarten marshmallow test. Because of the things you mentioned, she found the flattery of the emotional affair addictive like a drug.  But a lot of people would, and have problems with the urge for flattery and self indulgence. I think if she did some self-reflection over time, and truly apologized to Kody, she could live a satisfying life, staying in the family.  I think it would be healthier for her to be around family and social supports, than to be alone in Parowan.

[Normades]

23 hours ago, gunderda said:

What lost me with Meri though is apparently not even wanting to work on the issues. 

Yes, she refuses to see fault in herself and make any changes.  If others are not including you and are reacting negatively toward you, you need to look at yourself.  I was told by someone that I sometimes have "resting bitch face."  I laugh about it now, but it was hard to hear at the time.  I realized I could be off putting to people.  Now I make a conscious effort to be sure that I am approachable.  That's what people who want to be included and get along do.  They make changes so that others will want to include them.  They don't keep stomping off and martyring themselves.  They all have faults, but seriously Meri, change starts with YOU!!!

22 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

Someone mentioned that Meri could be more involved by attending the kids' various sporting/school events...I agree. But I also think Janelle is not the type to engage in that way, either. I can't see Janelle saying "Oh yes, I'd LOVE to go to Y-name's band concert!" She'd sit there, with her body language saying "this is sooooo stupid".

I agree, but Janelle is not complaining that she's left out or didn't have enough kids.  That also really bothers me with Meri.  I realize having lots of kids is a thing with their culture, but seriously, you had a healthy, beautiful daughter.  Many people do not get that.  She needs to be grateful for what she has instead of constantly harping on what others have.  I have to wonder how this makes Mariah feel.  I would feel like I wasn't enough if my parent kept saying those things.

17 hours ago, Kohola3 said:

Um, because an entire film crew is standing around?

THIS!!!  All day long!!  I know it's breaking the fourth wall, but seriously she was not left out not knowing that other wives were allowed in there.  There is no way I believe the crew didn't tell her exactly what was going on and who was there.  She didn't want to be there, but saw it as another opportunity to be a victim.  That's what she does.

[Light]

20 minutes ago, Normades said:

Yes, she refuses to see fault in herself and make any changes.  If others are not including you and are reacting negatively toward you, you need to look at yourself.  I was told by someone that I sometimes have "resting bitch face."  I laugh about it now, but it was hard to hear at the time.  I realized I could be off putting to people.  Now I make a conscious effort to be sure that I am approachable.  That's what people who want to be included and get along do.  They make changes so that others will want to include them.  They don't keep stomping off and martyring themselves.  They all have faults, but seriously Meri, change starts with YOU!!!

I agree, but Janelle is not complaining that she's left out or didn't have enough kids.  That also really bothers me with Meri.  I realize having lots of kids is a thing with their culture, but seriously, you had a healthy, beautiful daughter.  Many people do not get that.  She needs to be grateful for what she has instead of constantly harping on what others have.  I have to wonder how this makes Mariah feel.  I would feel like I wasn't enough if my parent kept saying those things.

THIS!!!  All day long!!  I know it's breaking the fourth wall, but seriously she was not left out not knowing that other wives were allowed in there.  There is no way I believe the crew didn't tell her exactly what was going on and who was there.  She didn't want to be there, but saw it as another opportunity to be a victim.  That's what she does.

A start for Meri would be to start practicing GRATITUDE for what she has. Studies have shown if people just remind themselves about five times a day to be grateful, they actually become happier.  Many people can’t have any children, and she has a healthy, pretty well-adjusted child, (considering the circumstances) and a warm home. In the beginning, we were told that as soon as Janelle joined the family, Meri showed her selfishness and insecurity by being really nasty to her about where things were put in the kitchen cabinets, etc., and she made Janelle so miserable that Jeanelle had to move out for a while. Meri’s selfishness problems clearly run deep.  She needs a lot of therapy to turn around what psychologists call her “thinking errors”. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) would be good for her, but she would have to have the maturity to apply it in the moment, and there lies the rub. Often people who need DBT don’t use it once they’re trained.

Edited March 21, 2018 by Light

[Adiba]

1 hour ago, yankeefan said:

How hard would it have been for Meri to send out a group text "where is everyone?"

Exactly what I thought. Why doesn’t Meri communicate? She talks without saying anything. She seems to expect everyone else to read her mind, know what she’s feeling, etc. It’s very frustrating to have to deal with someone like that, because heaven forbid you assume the wrong thing—they’ll bite your head off.

Don’t get me wrong, in the past I have had a lot of sympathy for Meri. I think she was publicly punished and humiliated enough for me to stomach with the catfish situation. I think Kody has not lived up to his duties and responsibilities as a plural husband with her (and with the other wives—except Robyn) on many occasions. And I do think that Mariah, though entitled to her feelings about the catfishing, should have shown a little bit more compassion for her obviously lonely, and I believe, clinically depressed mother.

However, I always thought it was unfair that Meri got the same “allowance” as the other wives with more children. She said she shouldn’t be punished for not having more kids, but what she was in effect doing was punishing the other wives for being more fertile ( and affecting the kids, too). 

As can be inferred, I have ambivalent feelings about Meri!

[Sasha888]

52 minutes ago, Adiba said:

Exactly what I thought. Why doesn’t Meri communicate? She talks without saying anything. She seems to expect everyone else to read her mind, know what she’s feeling, etc. It’s very frustrating to have to deal with someone like that, because heaven forbid you assume the wrong thing—they’ll bite your head off.

I agree, very frustrating. I can see the frustration that the other wives are having - you can almost feel it coming through the TV screen. They've spent years trying to get through to her, and I think they are kind of giving up on it. 

For all the therapy sessions she goes to, Meri doesn't seem to be improving her communication skills. I noticed when Christine asked her "If you seem upset to me, may I ask you Hey Meri, what's wrong?" and she never really got an answer out of Meri on that.

Since people can't read your mind, they need to be able to ask you how you are doing, how you are feeling. Christine couldn't seem to get a straight answer out of her. Is it really that hard to say "Okay, you can ask me how I'm feeling."????

[Janc]

1 hour ago, Normades said:

But I also think Janelle is not the type to engage in that way, either. I can't see Janelle saying "Oh yes, I'd LOVE to go to Y-name's band concert!" She'd sit there, with her body language saying "this is sooooo stupid".

It seems she loves her 80s bands!  

[Kellyee]

Quote

In the beginning, we were told that as soon as Janelle joined the family, Meri showed her selfishness and insecurity by being really nasty to her about where things were put in the kitchen cabinets, etc., and she made Janelle so miserable that Jeanelle had to move out for a while. Meri’s selfishness problems clearly run deep.  She needs a lot of therapy to turn around what psychologists call her “thinking errors”.

Maybe Meri's perceived selfishness was just a perfectly normal reaction to having her husband find, marry, be sexual with, and impregnate another woman. In any monogamous culture, you would be allowed to shove kitchen utensils up the other woman's ass, but in polygamy, you are expected to keep sweet and politely show her where to keep her stuff. They once said Nancy was the only therapist they can see, because any other therapist would point out that polygamy was a large part of their problem. Any other therapist would have told them this family configuration is begging for huge issues down the line. Instead they got Nancy, and 20 years later Meri is miserable, Janelle is checked out, Christine might be drugged into happy compliance, and Robyn is showing early signs of serious disillusionment with the situation. But Kody is happy, and in polygamy he is pretty much the only person whose happiness actually counts.

[MamaMax]

On 3/19/2018 at 2:54 AM, Sasha888 said:

"Emotionally held hostage" is a PERFECT way to describe it! They are all walking on eggshells around her. Meri's the kind of person who can twist anything. If you told her "You look nice today, Meri!" she'd say "What are you trying to say? That I DON'T usually look nice??? You are so MEAN!"

At that point you either beg the Queen for forgiveness, or say you know what lady, you are 10 pounds of crap stuffed into a 5 pound sack and I don't have time for this nonsense.

 

On 3/19/2018 at 2:27 PM, CassinaFaye said:

Yeah there is that.  Their yards are dirt and they only have that bit of green space and then outside the fence....sooooo much dirt.  It is made worse when the home livers don't clean.

It has always been my opinion that he is a polygamist only to have the ability to dip his wick in many partners honey pot.  And he had become one so that he would be able to find women who were ok with it and not kick him to the curb.  Because hey, staying single and having the right to be with however many people you want in a week or shoot even day isn't even a possibility.  Because how would the amazing Kody Brown name live on?

Ive said it before, but it bears repeating: Meri proabaly has Borderline personality ad Kody  has Narcissistic Personality.  The rest of them just have super low self esteem.

[notnowimbusy]

It's interesting they call Meri out about not being involved, but during some interview the wives said they rarely see each other, despite living nextdoor.  Maybe once in awhile when taking out the trash or getting the mail.   When they lived in one house, in Utah, (without Robyn), they all seemed to have assigned roles. . . Janelle, Meri & Kody worked, Christine took care of the kids.   Everyone seems much more settled, and happy.   When they moved to Vegas - and each had a house far apart, Janelle seemed fine, but the rest of the group started breaking down.  For awhile they, as a group, seemed to want to form a real business (not the junky jewelry thing), but nothing ever panned out.   Then they all got their big, new homes, all together - easier for filming and making it seem more of a "family", but by then they all checked out.   Well, except for filming.     I doubt they get together very often, have little idea what the others are up to, and could really care less.   When they are forced to film, that's when tensions rise.  

[ChicksDigScars]

Quote

On the couch, Mitch introduces himself.  He was born in Utah and has known the Browns for about 10 years because his family was involved in the same polygamist group, but his parents were not polygamists and neither is he.  (Fellow Aspyn fans, insert the Hallelujah Chorus here.)  He has left the church because he doesn’t agree with them.

 

THANK FUCKING GOD. I was worried for Aspyn, even to the point of thinking, "At least she'll be the legal first wife," (shudder) especially once I saw someone post that Mitch's sister is one of the wives on Seeking Sister Wife. 

Okay, am I remembering this wrong, or did they tell us in an earlier episode about Meri supplying the breast milk to feed Madison as an infant. Madison was small and not gaining with Janelle's milk, and was considered "failure to thrive," so Meri supplied the milk, which saved Madison. For that reason alone, you'd think Janelle would be less os a hag towards her, and that Meri would have been included in the birth, moreso than Christine (yes, she WAS the "family babysitter,") or Robyn, the Carpetbagger wife.  Or, depending on your perspective, Meri would have been more diligent in finding out what was going on, when walking in on an empty house. 

Edited March 21, 2018 by ChicksDigScars

[Phronsie]

3 hours ago, Sandy W said:

First question most people would have asked camera crew in LR......where is everyone?

I’m sure it was all staged....the show director told Meri and the girls to walk in, see no one there, and walk out.  In real life of course you would ask the camera crew where everyone was....it was scripted to be this way.  

[Onceafan]

On 3/18/2018 at 8:01 PM, Armchair Critic said:

Who lit a fire under that dud Janelle? She is going after Meri in the therapy session!

In my opinion seeing Janelle that fired up during that therapy session, gives me an indication, that the first two or three sessions regarding the birth were pretty emotional. The thing with this show is that we see an edited, and often times constructed view of things. I would have found it VERY interesting, to have let the cameras in on their first therapy session regarding the birth. That is when you would get the real story, and real emotion from each woman, but of course they would never show that.

The fact that this one topic lasted so many sessions, means, they really had intense discussions and battles over it. They only let the cameras into the last session, when it had already been resolved, and Nancy said let's just touch upon it, (Let's give the viewers a small recap) I think Janelle was still frustrated over it, and let some real emotion slip, instead of just doing a small touch upon it, for the cameras.

With Janelle still that fired up, I really do think, that Meri might have been going after Maddie at least in the first therapy session. It would make sense, with Janelle's "Mama bear" coming out comments. I think then Meri moved her focus off of Maddie not inviting her, and then moved her focus to the wives and Kody, and that's probably where the next two sessions focused on.

With such a emotional fueled topic that caused multiple therapy sessions, none of the sister wives really tweeted about it, and the "Inside the episode" of confronting Meri, they didn't touch upon it once. When the family is that radio silenced, especially Kody about Meri being not included in the birth, it goes to show you, that emotions are still high about the topic, and the real truth is not being told to the viewers.

I would be very very interested if Kody discussed this at all during the tell all. I really don't think he will, because I think his take on it would portray Meri in a negative way, or more importantly may portray Kody in a negative way. So I don't think he will touch upon it, since he is still concerned about the family's PR.

[Sasha888]

47 minutes ago, notnowimbusy said:

When they lived in one house, in Utah, (without Robyn), they all seemed to have assigned roles. . . Janelle, Meri & Kody worked, Christine took care of the kids.   Everyone seems much more settled, and happy.   When they moved to Vegas - and each had a house far apart, Janelle seemed fine, but the rest of the group started breaking down. 

I used to think this. But as the show has gone on, I am now thinking they just appeared to be more settled and happy in the Lehi house. For awhile I definitely thought "Wow, moving into four separate houses really caused a lot of problems", but the more things I hear them saying, the less I believe that. For instance, Meri & Christine admitting in this episode that they really haven't had much of a relationship in 10 years. Meri & Janelle admitting in a past episode that they really had problems with each other right from the start.

Hindsight is 20/20...looking back at the very first episode of this show, everyone else went down to Christine's apt for dinner, and Meri stayed up in her apt and ate alone. She didn't want Christine's food, which is fine, but she could have taken her plate and walked down the stairs and still joined the rest of the family - she just didn't want to.

I do think perhaps Janelle & Christine had more interaction with each other in the Lehi house...but not Meri. She's been distancing herself since episode one, and probably even before that.

As far as the rest of the wives go, I agree with you, they seem to be interacting less and less now...at least that's how it looks to me, from what we are shown.

Edited March 21, 2018 by Sasha888

[Roslyn]

1 hour ago, Onceafan said:

With Janelle still that fired up, I really do think, that Meri might have been going after Maddie at least in the first therapy session. It would make sense, with Janelle's "Mama bear" coming out comments. I think then Meri moved her focus off of Maddie not inviting her, and then moved her focus to the wives and Kody, and that's probably where the next two sessions focused on.

This is very true.  In a TH Meri went on for quite awhile about how in no way did she hold any blame towards Madison and she knew that Madison was working hard to deliver her son and that Madison had always accepted her in the family.  Makes me think you are right and that some venom was directed towards Madison in the beginning.  Also Meri always used the term "invited" about the birth.  She was not invited into the room.  Christine and Robyn stated that "it wasn't my decision, it wasn't my birth" when they were trying to explain themselves.  However...Christine and Robyn weren't invited...they just weren't kicked out. Meri didn't have the desire to push it and none of the other women (or Kody...) stepped up to the plate to make sure she was included when it was obvious that everyone was staying.

I would have liked to have heard more from Christine and Janelle about the statement that Robyn made in the therapy session about how Maddy herself at one point realized Meri wasn't there and thought she should be.  I think that was key...but no one expanded on it.

In a TH Meri (in a rare real emotion I think) said something along the line of how no one looked around at everyone and noticed that an important part of the whole was missing.  That has stuck with her.  It's all a big festering symptom of a very broken group relationship.

[Light]

3 hours ago, MamaMax said:

 

Ive said it before, but it bears repeating: Meri proabaly has Borderline personality ad Kody  has Narcissistic Personality.  The rest of them just have super low self esteem.

Yup.  DBT was created for borderline personality disorder. Sadly, her therapist is useless. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201501/10-thinking-errors-will-crush-your-mental-strength

Edited March 21, 2018 by Light
Added a link

[Kath94]

3 hours ago, notnowimbusy said:

It's interesting they call Meri out about not being involved, but during some interview the wives said they rarely see each other, despite living nextdoor.  Maybe once in awhile when taking out the trash or getting the mail.   When they lived in one house, in Utah, (without Robyn), they all seemed to have assigned roles. . . Janelle, Meri & Kody worked, Christine took care of the kids.   Everyone seems much more settled, and happy.   When they moved to Vegas - and each had a house far apart, Janelle seemed fine, but the rest of the group started breaking down.  For awhile they, as a group, seemed to want to form a real business (not the junky jewelry thing), but nothing ever panned out.   Then they all got their big, new homes, all together - easier for filming and making it seem more of a "family", but by then they all checked out.   Well, except for filming.     I doubt they get together very often, have little idea what the others are up to, and could really care less.   When they are forced to film, that's when tensions rise.  

See, the first thing that I thought about when they bought their McMansions on the cuddle-sac was, if they're one big happy family, they need to designate & assign.  Whose living room is going to become a group dining room for the family?  Who is going to host a game room for the older kids, a play room for the younger ones, a media/movie room, and a quiet, chill room to get away?  But Nooo.  They each have to have their dining room, library, media room, etc.  They have absolutely NO need to interact!

[Gothish520]

3 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

I agree, very frustrating. I can see the frustration that the other wives are having - you can almost feel it coming through the TV screen. They've spent years trying to get through to her, and I think they are kind of giving up on it. 

For all the therapy sessions she goes to, Meri doesn't seem to be improving her communication skills. I noticed when Christine asked her "If you seem upset to me, may I ask you Hey Meri, what's wrong?" and she never really got an answer out of Meri on that.

Since people can't read your mind, they need to be able to ask you how you are doing, how you are feeling. Christine couldn't seem to get a straight answer out of her. Is it really that hard to say "Okay, you can ask me how I'm feeling."????

That is one of the most frustrating things about Meri - she either dances around questions or just sits there and doesn't respond. In therapy, she sits there and stares, at the lunch she just sat there staring, with Christine she sat there staring, then said "don't assume how I'm feeling". Arghh, then say something! Robyn has said a few times that she's tried and tried to get through to Meri. Christine is trying, Janelle has tried by going with Meri to therapy. What is the common denominator here? We all know the answer to that question.

[Gothish520]

1 hour ago, Light said:

Yup.  DBT was created for borderline personality disorder. Sadly, her therapist is useless. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201501/10-thinking-errors-will-crush-your-mental-strength

Interesting link. I have a close family member who may be getting that book for her birthday, lol! 

Touchy-feely woo-woo therapists like Nancy are ok for some, but when real work needs to be done they can be pretty useless. The family member in question was seeing a therapist who diagnosed her with low level Borderline, and had suggested they do DBT - then she was offered a big promotion at her full-time job working with kids and teens, and stopped taking private patients. Now the family member is seeing a therapist that sounds a lot like Nancy, and her progress has slowed. She's doing ok, but she has even admitted that the current one is not as effective as the first one.

[andromeda331]

On ‎3‎/‎20‎/‎2018 at 12:35 PM, UsernameFatigue said:

I do not watch any other pylg show, so I am wondering if other husbands neglect one or more wives at a time, as we have seen Kody do over the years? Christine was very threatened by Robin, and IIRC Meri was the one who went out of her way to make Robin feel welcome. Robin was of course the queen bee, even more so after she became Kody's legal wife. However as others have said it is obvious that Robin no longer worships the ground Kody walks on, is busy with 2 small children and has gained weight. Christine has lost weight and is now the preferred wife. But of course that is not because of Kody doing any work to repair their relationship, but solely by default. 

I think the reason Robin is so vocal about not wanting Meri to leave the family is that she is afraid that if Meri does, Kody will replace her with a new wife. I wonder if that were to happen and the new "wife" had kids, if Robin would agree to divorce Kody so that Kody could adopt wife #5's kids? I somehow don't see Robin going along with that, like Meri did. But it would be fun to see Kody try. 

From the books I've read, Escape from Polygamy and My Five Wives that is the norm. There are always favorites and wives that are ignored. On My Five Wives it was Robyn and Rosemary. Robyn cried all the time and Brady had no problem finding excuses to skip Rosemary's nights. But you can be sure he'd never think of skipping Rhonda or Paulie's nights ( I have no idea what Brady thought of Nonie I could never really tell if he liked her or didn't). The only wife or wives who are happy usually are the favorites. The last wife is almost always the favorite or one of the favorites because she's newer and gets a lot of attention from the husband. She's happy because she hasn't had to deal with a new wife coming in. Christine talked in the past how happy she was to be the last wife because she could be the fun one and she didn't understand the feelings Meri and Janelle had towards her until Robyn came along. As we've seen with the Browns. Christine used to be at the bottom of the pile. Because she dared to talk about her feelings to him or try and get him to spend time with her kids. That doesn't work for Kody he has three other homes to chose from. Christine only went up when she stopped complaining, was nice to the favorite and another wife dropped to the bottom. One wife drops to the bottom the rest all move up.  Robyn used her leverage as the new wife to unseat Meri and end up the Legal wife and Queen Bee.

[Normades]

2 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

That is one of the most frustrating things about Meri - she either dances around questions or just sits there and doesn't respond. In therapy, she sits there and stares, at the lunch she just sat there staring, with Christine she sat there staring, then said "don't assume how I'm feeling". Arghh, then say something! Robyn has said a few times that she's tried and tried to get through to Meri. Christine is trying, Janelle has tried by going with Meri to therapy. What is the common denominator here? We all know the answer to that question.

Meri likes to sit back and hold court. She sets up situations so she can look like a martyr and watches them dance around to try to please her. With the divorce she overplayed her hand. She thought she'd be out of there doing her own thing with her handsome prince. She would have loved to lord her millionaire over them, but it didn't work out that way. Now she has no power and they've lost their patience with her. She is reaping what she has sown.

I do think Janelle is a bump on a log, but I think part of that comes from having worked her ass off to support the family while Meri got a larger cut of her earnings than she should have. I can't blame her too much for being over Meri. And if I were Janelle and Meri started her bull about my daughter's birth and trying to ruin a happy time, I'd wipe the dirty floor with her!

Edited March 22, 2018 by Normades
Got rid of contraction. Different kind than Maddie's

[Sasha888]

5 hours ago, Onceafan said:

In my opinion seeing Janelle that fired up during that therapy session, gives me an indication, that the first two or three sessions regarding the birth were pretty emotional. The thing with this show is that we see an edited, and often times constructed view of things. I would have found it VERY interesting, to have let the cameras in on their first therapy session regarding the birth. That is when you would get the real story, and real emotion from each woman, but of course they would never show that.

The fact that this one topic lasted so many sessions, means, they really had intense discussions and battles over it. They only let the cameras into the last session, when it had already been resolved, and Nancy said let's just touch upon it, (Let's give the viewers a small recap) I think Janelle was still frustrated over it, and let some real emotion slip, instead of just doing a small touch upon it, for the cameras.

With Janelle still that fired up, I really do think, that Meri might have been going after Maddie at least in the first therapy session. It would make sense, with Janelle's "Mama bear" coming out comments. I think then Meri moved her focus off of Maddie not inviting her, and then moved her focus to the wives and Kody, and that's probably where the next two sessions focused on.

Very interesting thought...hmmm. Yeah, I would've liked to have been a fly on the wall during the first few sessions.

I thought it was interesting that during the session we were shown - the last session - Meri said I'm fine with it now, I'm ready to move past it.

I think in Meri-speak, what that really means is that she got to gripe at the other 3 for a couple of "therapy" sessions and tell them how mean and awful they were to her, and now the matter is CLOSED. Meri has had HER say, but is not interested in listening to what the other 3 have to say on the matter. 

Hence the foot wiggling, staring off into space, and eventually crying. She wants to chastise you for your transgression, and then MOVE ON, without hearing anyone else's point of view, or what SHE could have done differently. 

[TurtlePower]

9 hours ago, yankeefan said:

How hard would it have been for Meri to send out a group text "where is everyone?"

Because Meri doesn't want to be there, she just tries to look like she does. 

[notnowimbusy]

3 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

Because Meri doesn't want to be there, she just tries to look like she does. 

YES!  Exactly.  Meri is done with these women, but not totally with Kody.  If he gave her any sign that he's still interested, she'd be on board.  Right now she's in limbo.  Everything revolves around the TLC paycheck.   Christine & Janelle are fine being there, and Robyn would go absolutely nuts, and stir the pot, if Kody wanted to take another wife.  But it's clear, none of them want to be around each other.

[Canadian Girl]

1 hour ago, Sasha888 said:

Hence the foot wiggling, staring off into space, and eventually crying. She wants to chastise you for your transgression, and then MOVE ON, without hearing anyone else's point of view, or what SHE could have done differently. 

As far as I can tell, "therapy" for this family consists of everyone involved stating what they can do differently in the future to not hurt Meri's feelings.