S11.E17: The Athenaeum Allocation

[Bort]

Leonard jumps through hoops to help secure the perfect wedding venue for Sheldon and Amy. Also, Bernadette and Wolowitz have a hard time deciding who should stay at home with the kids and who should go back to work.

[CherryAmes]

Without having seen this yet (of course) I wonder what they mean about who goes back to work and who stays home.  It sure sounds like Bernadette doesn't even want the same maternity leave she had with Hallie.  Which is sad to me if they are having her do an about face where with Hallie she had a hard time leaving her baby after was it 3 months? Something like that.  If they're talking about one of them quitting their job to stay home full-time I will be less than impressed!

[anna0852]

Staying home might not be being discussed in the context of not wanting to leave the kids but at what point daycare costs mean it's cheaper for a parent to stay home. It's been my experience that the second kid is usually the Tipping Point at which the second income is just going to daycare costs and that it is actually cheaper for one parent to stop working.

[BlossomCulp]

Could be but they have banged on for years now about how much Bernadette rakes in.  If Bernadette and Howard between them can't afford childcare then who can?

[DkNNy79]

2 minutes ago, BlossomCulp said:

Could be but they have banged on for years now about how much Bernadette rakes in.  If Bernadette and Howard between them can't afford childcare then who can?

Exactly, Bernadette has got to be making 6 figures at least.  They inherited the house they are living in from Howard's mother, so I'm assuming they either have no mortgage or a small one at the very least.

[BlossomCulp]

Plus they have live in help with Stuart and both Stuart and Raj have been willing babysitters ever since Hallie was born.  They obviously need childcare during the day that they would have to pay for but they are far better off than most young parents would be when it comes to help with home and child and with the expenses that go along with home and child.  I'll reserve judgement until I see the episode but if they really are going to pull the "one of us has to stay home because we can't afford childcare" I may scream at the TV!

Edited March 8, 2018 by BlossomCulp

[OtterMommy]

7 hours ago, CherryAmes said:

Without having seen this yet (of course) I wonder what they mean about who goes back to work and who stays home.  It sure sounds like Bernadette doesn't even want the same maternity leave she had with Hallie.  Which is sad to me if they are having her do an about face where with Hallie she had a hard time leaving her baby after was it 3 months? Something like that.  If they're talking about one of them quitting their job to stay home full-time I will be less than impressed!

Yes, but Bernadette already realizes that her job is not as secure as she thought, thanks to her co-worker who was dating Raj while Bernadette was on bed rest.  

[BlossomCulp]

11 minutes ago, OtterMommy said:

Yes, but Bernadette already realizes that her job is not as secure as she thought, thanks to her co-worker who was dating Raj while Bernadette was on bed rest. 

I'd forgotten about that!  And of course because of the bed rest she's already been home a lot longer than she would have been if she'd just had the standard maternity leave.  Still I hope she's not going to rush back to work when the baby is still a newborn!

[Browncoat]

Didn't they discuss this several seasons ago?  And didn't they decide that if it comes to it that Howard would stay home?

[CleoCaesar]

Bernadette is such an abrasive, combative shrew that these days I find myself thinking that Howard could do better. He turned into a stand-up guy, loving spouse, and good father and she...just got worse. Everything with her is a conflict and everyone is somehow inconveniencing her. I used to really like Bernadette but I don't know why now.

Both should keep working if they want. They make over six figures each, live in a free house, have Raj and Stuart as ready and willing babysitters, and no relatives who need financial support.

[Spartan Girl]

Photoshopping their MRIs into the save the dates is so Shamy.

Agree that Bernadette was even more of a bitch than usual this week.

Having Kripke as a wedding singer was so not worth it, so they made the right call there.

[mojoween]

All that Bernadette is WAY too much Bernadette.

[thebigboot]

I still don’t get how Sheldon can act like a jacka$$ most of the time and when he gets treated the same way, the other person is bad. The trope and annoying.

[mojoween]

I noticed Bernadette called the baby Michael.  So is she going to call him that and Howard call him Neil?  Poor baby.

Also I guess she never went with Rostenkowski-Wolowitz since her assistant called her Dr. Rostenkowski.

Also also I did not like Penny’s hair when she met Bernadette for lunch.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

3 minutes ago, mojoween said:

I noticed Bernadette called the baby Michael.  So is she going to call him that and Howard call him Neil?  Poor baby.

There was an "M" on his crib, so that battle is over.

[TheOtherOne]

37 minutes ago, mojoween said:

I noticed Bernadette called the baby Michael.  So is she going to call him that and Howard call him Neil?  Poor baby

Howard conceded the fight at the end of the last episode.

"But we're calling him Michael!"
"I'm not going to fight her. That kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe."

[buckboard]

1 hour ago, thebigboot said:

I still don’t get how Sheldon can act like a jacka$$ most of the time and when he gets treated the same way, the other person is bad. The trope and annoying.

I agree, THEBIGBOOT.   Sheldon's behavior towards his "friends" isn't funny or nerdy, it's mean.  

Little Sheldon is a cute show about a sweet, nerdy kid who behaves the way he does because he doesn't understand how to fit in with "normal" people.  He knows he's superior in intelligence, but still is loving to his family and nice to his friend.  Big Sheldon still has problems fitting in, but he is nasty to his friends and even to his fiancee.  I have no idea why the others still like him when he treats them so badly.

The prequel show is making it harder and harder to watch Big Bang.

[chocolatine]

I really liked the Howard and Bernadette storyline. They both love their babies more than anything - the scene where each of them watched one kid sleep, then switched, melted my heart - but they also love their jobs and want to work. That was a great resolution, IMO.

41 minutes ago, mojoween said:

Also I guess she never went with Rostenkowski-Wolowitz since her assistant called her Dr. Rostenkowski.

Many women who legally change their names continue to use their maiden names professionally. Bernadette's PhD thesis and other publications are under Rostenkowski, and she started her job at the pharma company before she married Howard. Plus, can you imagine her assistant addressing her as Dr. Rostenkowski-Wolowitz every time he speaks to her? It's quite a mouthful.

[PinkRibbons]

I was very much on Sheldon's side in this one. Young Sheldon aside (which I have to assume is in a different universe, considering what appears to be a wildly different relationship between his parents than the one discussed on TBBT), we have heard over and over how isolated and bullied most of our main cast was growing up*. To then deliberately leave one of them out of something they would enjoy just to laugh at them and relish your own privilege is just cruel. How often was Leonard left out of fun stuff as a kid? I'm guessing a lot. It was a shitty stunt to pull, especially since there wasn't even lip service paid to the idea of Sheldon somehow ruining the Athenaeum for Leonard if he joined.

*I remember one of my favorite scenes is Bernadette telling Penny that it can't hurt to be teacher's pet and then Leonard polling the others to see who was hurt by being teacher's pet. I love that one because Amy raised her hand with all the guys and it was one of the first signs that she had shared a far more similar childhood to theirs than she had to the other women, which was a nice change to the split in the dynamics between gender groups on the show.

[bobby2018]

4 hours ago, buckboard said:

The prequel show is making it harder and harder to watch Big Bang.

I agree! and sadly the "Amy and Sheldon" part still the best (for me) of the whole show in every episode. 

[SmithW6079]

9 hours ago, thebigboot said:

I still don’t get how Sheldon can act like a jacka$$ most of the time and when he gets treated the same way, the other person is bad. The trope and annoying.

As Sheldon said a few seasons ago, "The baby always wins."

Why couldn't Sheldon have inquired about membership in the club? Why was it Leonard's responsibility? Good on Leonard for getting some time away from Sheldon. 

Bernadette has moved from "b" territory to "c" territory. She is such as nasty bully. I can't stand any scene she's in. They placate her the way they do Sheldon. 

Edited March 9, 2018 by SmithW6079

[sigmaforce86]

I liked it but I wonder why with all their smarts Bernadette and Howard didn't figure out the compromise of part time help.  Either Howard goes back to work part time or becomes a full stay at home dad but they hire part time baby help too.  Or just a housekeeper to clean and wash.  Not because Howard is male or useless but with the kids ages it's nearly like having twins and a second pair of hands wouldn't hurt at this stage.  Howard makes the most sense to stay home based on income and that he could do freelance work or just inventions in the garage.  But with no daycare they could certainly afford a two day a week housekeeper or a four hour a day nanny.

I don't mind Sheldon being a jerk because his "I get what I want/I run the show" mentality is ingrained in him.  But I do mind how he very rarely learns from it and when he's pretty much told things like how Leonard wanted that club for himself he refuses to back off and recognize that Leonard is entitled to that.  We know he can learn he's done it before it's just applied inconsistently when the plot demands it which makes Sheldon come off like a sensitive friend sometimes but, more often, like an ass.

[MDL]

Quote

Also also I did not like Penny’s hair when she met Bernadette for lunch.

I agree. It took me out of the scene.

[Tanichka]

1 hour ago, SmithW6079 said:

Bernadette has moved from "b" territory to "c" territory. She is such as nasty bully.

Maybe she's hormonal.

[anna0852]

40 minutes ago, Tanichka said:

Maybe she's hormonal.

As a woman who does have massive hormonal swings, I say that this is not an excuse. For her to be a little snappish or a little weepy, yes absolutely she can blame the hormones. But the hormones do not give her carte blanche to mistreat others and behave badly. If she has that little control over her behavior then she should be seeking help. It's hard enough for women to be taken seriously without perpetuating the stereotype that we are at the mercy of our hormones.

[Isazouzi]

2 hours ago, sigmaforce86 said:

I don't mind Sheldon being a jerk because his "I get what I want/I run the show" mentality is ingrained in him.  But I do mind how he very rarely learns from it and when he's pretty much told things like how Leonard wanted that club for himself he refuses to back off and recognize that Leonard is entitled to that. 

If Leonard wants to have that club for himself, maybe he should explain that to Sheldon instead of lying to him? And why should Sheldon check membership himself when Lenoard says he's doing it and is, once again, lying about it? Also, I don't understand what makes Leonard entitled to have a restaurant, or whatever that club is, to himself.

[thebigboot]

2 minutes ago, Isazouzi said:

If Leonard wants to have that club for himself, maybe he should explain that to Sheldon instead of lying to him? And why should Sheldon check membership himself when Lenoard says he's doing it and is, once again, lying about it? Also, I don't understand what makes Leonard entitled to have a restaurant, or whatever that club is, to himself.

Remember when Leonard was going to Sweden and tried explaining why Penny was coming and not Sheldon? Yeah, proves you can’t reason with Sheldon inspite of his claims to dealing with things logically.

[Accidental Martyr]

14 hours ago, CleoCaesar said:

Bernadette is such an abrasive, combative shrew that these days I find myself thinking that Howard could do better. He turned into a stand-up guy, loving spouse, and good father and she...just got worse. Everything with her is a conflict and everyone is somehow inconveniencing her. I used to really like Bernadette but I don't know why now.

 

They completely changed Bernadette (for the worse) from when she was initially introduced on the show, just like they did with Stuart.

[Pop Tart]

3 hours ago, sigmaforce86 said:

I liked it but I wonder why with all their smarts Bernadette and Howard didn't figure out the compromise of part time help.  Either Howard goes back to work part time or becomes a full stay at home dad but they hire part time baby help too.  Or just a housekeeper to clean and wash.  Not because Howard is male or useless but with the kids ages it's nearly like having twins and a second pair of hands wouldn't hurt at this stage.  Howard makes the most sense to stay home based on income and that he could do freelance work or just inventions in the garage.  But with no daycare they could certainly afford a two day a week housekeeper or a four hour a day nanny.

This. Really both of them, Howard more then Bernadette probably, have jobs that would allow them to flex their schedules. Howard doesn't teach classes as far as I can tell which means he can set his own schedule at work (other then when he might need to use some machine or other). Same for Bernadette. She's a research scientist, so I'd guess she'd also have some flexibility - at least some of the time - with her job schedule. So between them they could work it so that one or the other of them could be with the babies for most of the day, with occasional child care from other arranged. Yes this means they'd see each other less as they took shifts, but it would give them what they seem to want, time with the babies and time spent on their jobs and careers.

It's funny. Last week I wasn't liking Bernadette at all because I thought she was being such a bully, but it seems most thought she was more so in this episode and I didn't see it at all here. She was right to be skeptical about how well Howard would do all by himself with the babies, he immediately called in Raj to help and took a nap, and at her job she was delighting in being at work, but didn't say anything horrible to anyone. So I liked her a lot better last night then last week.

[statslady]

Quote

It's funny. Last week I wasn't liking Bernadette at all because I thought she was being such a bully, but it seems most thought she was more so in this episode and I didn't see it at all here. She was right to be skeptical about how well Howard would do all by himself with the babies, he immediately called in Raj to help and took a nap, and at her job she was delighting in being at work, but didn't say anything horrible to anyone. So I liked her a lot better last night then last week.

I thought the same thing!  I liked how they handled Bernadette this week because she articulated so many of the same things I felt about going back to work.  More so with the second than the first actually, because now I had some idea of what it's all about.  Particularly liked her complete about face on who should stay home.  Why there is no one size fits all solution.  

[iMonrey]

Quote

I noticed Bernadette called the baby Michael.  So is she going to call him that and Howard call him Neil?  Poor baby.

They had this discussion a long time ago before Bernadette was ever pregnant. She said she didn't want kids because she had to take care of all her siblings (none of which we've ever seen) growing up and didn't want to do it again. That's when Howard suggested he'd be the one to stay home and be caretaker to their kids. I don't know why she didn't remind him of that promise. 

Quote

I noticed Bernadette called the baby Michael.  So is she going to call him that and Howard call him Neil?  Poor baby.

I was wondering about that but didn't catch it. That's kind of crappy but not surprising. I know Howard said last week he wouldn't fight her on that but I was hoping he meant "not right now" and not "ever." I can't imagine being forced to name my kid after someone who actively disliked me.

[shapeshifter]

14 hours ago, mojoween said:

Also also I did not like Penny’s hair when she met Bernadette for lunch.

I ❤️loved❤️ that hair style on her. 

[MissLucas]

Sheldon has been such a jerk to Leonard so many times that I definitely did not begrudge Leonard for once returning the favor. He apologized and made amends in the end - which is more than can be said of a lot of similar plots with reversed roles. Of course I wondered why the planetarium wasn't on their list during the first five minutes of the episode. But plot demanded all the Athenaeum drama.

Bernadette and Howard's plot felt a bit forced too. They had the discussion ages ago and agreed that Howard would be the one staying home. I don't mind that they never went through with it after the first kid (again plot reasons) but for continuity's sake it should have been brought up at least once.  And while it may not be feasible it was odd that they never even discussed the option that they both work part-time. Maybe that will come up later but for two smart people their fight was really stupid - let's blame it on sleep deprivation and move on.

I may be in the minority but I would have liked to hear Kripke sing 'Volare'.

[hnygrl]

13 minutes ago, MissLucas said:

I may be in the minority but I would have liked to hear Kripke sing 'Volare'.

Or "Wowahway" as Kripke would sing it! (He can't say V's, L's OR R's!!!)

That's why Leonard say "DANG! Didn't get that at all!"

[Driad]

14 minutes ago, MissLucas said:

I would have liked to hear Kripke sing 'Volare'.

If Amy and Sheldon didn't want him to sing because he was such a jerk to them, OK.  If because of his speech problems, Amy should know that some people can sing fluently even if they can't speak fluently.  

[MissLucas]

I'm pretty sure it was because he's a jerk and not because of his speech impediment. Both Sheldon and Amy are not that mean. Actually that thought never crossed my mind - I like the actor's voice, he's probably got a great singing voice too. So Kripke would surprise everybody (who expected him to sound horrible not because of his speech impediment but because nobody expected him to be musical). But they were probably just going for 'Volare'-joke.

[Driad]

I like that Kripke does not let his speech impediment bother him or keep him from speaking.  Sure he's a jerk, but so is Sheldon, and sometimes Leonard.  Trying not to mention Bernadette.

[One Tough Cookie]

I want Amy to wake  up and dump Sheldon's ass.  New normal Sheldon is not  endearing at all, he's just selfish and mean.  At this point I think Mayam carrries the show.  My exterminator and I have more chemistry than Leonard and Penny.

[retired watcher]

23 hours ago, CleoCaesar said:

Bernadette is such an abrasive, combative shrew that these days I find myself thinking that Howard could do better. He turned into a stand-up guy, loving spouse, and good father and she...just got worse. Everything with her is a conflict and everyone is somehow inconveniencing her. I used to really like Bernadette but I don't know why now.

Both should keep working if they want. They make over six figures each, live in a free house, have Raj and Stuart as ready and willing babysitters, and no relatives who need financial support.

I don't think Howard makes over six figures.

[retired watcher]

1 hour ago, Driad said:

I like that Kripke does not let his speech impediment bother him or keep him from speaking.  Sure he's a jerk, but so is Sheldon, and sometimes Leonard.  Trying not to mention Bernadette.

He doesn't know he has an impediment. Remember the Siri episode?

[Calvada]

One person staying at home should not be just a matter of salary = daycare costs.  Voluntarily taking yourself out of the workforce also means loss of seniority, zero contributions to retirement plans, lack of accumulation of social security benefits, loss of on the job training on new procedures/technology, and so on.  Removing oneself from the workforce has many economic impacts beyond the loss of salary.

Who picks a date and prints up save the date cards without securing a venue?  

[CleoCaesar]

1 hour ago, retired watcher said:

I don't think Howard makes over six figures.

He's been a professor at Caltech for over a decade (and been to space for NASA, talk about having leverage during asking for a raise) - it would be highly unlikely for him not to be making six figures at this point.

[Zanzibar]

2 hours ago, retired watcher said:

He doesn't know he has an impediment. Remember the Siri episode?

Yes, Kripke does know he has an impediment.  In Season 7, episode 10, Sheldon makes fun of him by calling him Bawwy. Kripke replies, "Is that a reference to my speech impediment? That's pretty hurtful. I can't control it."

[Poohbear617]

While Barry Kripke has been a jerk to the guys, he has been pretty good, (even nice) to Amy and Bernadette. Barry liked Amy and wanted to Date her when he found out about the breakup.   He also gave Amy a bottle of wine as a thank you gift for some help she gave him on a project. (He did send her a nude photo, but IIRC Amy did not seem to mind.) At Sheldon b-day party he complimented Bernadette and said the mother to be was glowing...wait, he was INVITED to Sheldons party, so why not his wedding. He was also kind of cool with the guys when he taught them fencing. 

I personally like kripke and the actor who plays him (he is the reason I wanted to see speechless) The way Kripke went after Leonard's mother at the party I think he would be a hoot at the wedding...I would like to see a followup to him and Beverly.

[Gothish520]

13 hours ago, thebigboot said:

Remember when Leonard was going to Sweden and tried explaining why Penny was coming and not Sheldon? Yeah, proves you can’t reason with Sheldon inspite of his claims to dealing with things logically.

I saw both sides of that situation. Seeing the Large Hadron collider would've meant so much to Sheldon that I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

[Gothish520]

4 hours ago, Calvada said:

Who picks a date and prints up save the date cards without securing a venue?  

Exactly! That was pretty dumb. Not only that, but who looks for a venue two months out? Madness! I guess if you are having a very small reception, or don't really care where it is, then waiting until then is fine.  But good luck finding a decent place if you are having any sort of traditional wedding/reception. And Save the Dates should be sent at least 4 months in advance, after the venue is already locked down. Invitations should be sent no later than 6 weeks out. 

[displayname]

4 hours ago, CleoCaesar said:

He's been a professor at Caltech for over a decade (and been to space for NASA, talk about having leverage during asking for a raise) - it would be highly unlikely for him not to be making six figures at this point.

He's not a professor (no PhD), but yeah, the rest I agree with.

 

(Well, I am not sure how much the research staff gets. I don't think any of them are professors.)

Edited March 10, 2018 by fan94

[lorbeer]

14 hours ago, hnygrl said:

Or "Wowahway" as Kripke would sing it! (He can't say V's, L's OR R's!!!)

That's why Leonard say "DANG! Didn't get that at all!"

I thought he can't only say 'R"?

 

5 hours ago, fan94 said:

(Well, I am not sure how much the research staff gets. I don't think any of them are professors.)

Sheldon is junior professor

[thebigboot]

9 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

I saw both sides of that situation. Seeing the Large Hadron collider would've meant so much to Sheldon that I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

There’s a lot of things that would mean the world to people but that doesn’t mean you should treat your friend horribly, his girlfriend horribly then pout like a child till he got his way. 

[ZuluQueenOfDwarves]

9 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

I saw both sides of that situation. Seeing the Large Hadron collider would've meant so much to Sheldon that I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

Never understood why Leonard couldn’t treat Penny to the hotel and flight, and spend his free time with her, but bring Sheldon along to CERN, provided Sheldon made his own accommodations. Penny didn’t give a damn about the collider, and Sheldon wouldn’t have cared about what they did in their down time.