S07.E06: WHAT A RIDE

[ReadMeLattice]

7 hours ago, AirQuotes said:

If kids are so resilient, why are there so many screwed up adults?  Kids really are powerless to do anything about whatever situation they are dealing with.  The anger and hostility manifests in the teen/adult years.

Sophia is at an impressionable age and being around so many hypersexual adults can have a negative effect on her.  I pity sex workers; I would never be mean towards them, but I do pity them.  Truly mentally healthy people do not willingly go into sex work.  That isn't judgment; it is reality.  Back in my younger days, I had several friends who got into working as strippers.  They all had to dope themselves up to get up there and do it.   Outwardly they sold it with bravado, but to really know them was a different story.  It is a hard way to make a living.  Quite sad.  Many want out but it is a trap.

Maybe so. I've certainly personally known some (legal) mentally healthy sex workers during grad school, but I would assume (as you do) that many more are not healthy. Many more people do it than people realize. Since the majority of both men and women have watched porn, and most men in particular do so regularly, though, I think it's a much larger problem than the sex workers themselves. If there was not such a massive demand, people wouldn't do it at all. Maybe the problem is more that our society is addicted to porn. I do hate that the workers get blamed and pitied while the watchers/buyers get to just "fit in" with society and aren't considered "mentally ill" for what THEY do. Maybe it's a systemic problem that feeds on everybody's insecurities. I also wonder about male porn stars and if they aren't shamed as much or if some of them have been abused too. I truly don't know. An interesting question.

Edited January 4, 2018 by Lm2162

[Chris Knight]

4 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

If either Sophia or Nova sticks one toe into any college in the USA I will cheerfully eat a Chevrolet. You can choose the make/model. Not that they won't get flak from mean and ignorant people, but I think that the chances of either of these kids pursuing higher education are vanishingly small! Sophia will probably emancipate herself at 16. Nova--well, if she doesn't follow in her mother's footsteps and end up knocked up as a teen, I'll be very, very surprised. (And the worst thing? This stupid show will still be on! And we'll all still be here!(

I am now watching Unexpected on TCL. I know, I need a hobby. All 3 girls on that show are 2nd or 3rd generation teen moms. It's really sad. But their newest babies are gonna all break the cycle, you just watch ! Ugh.

[lezlers]

On ‎1‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 11:19 AM, teapot said:

David is an asshole.  Yet I'm kind of glad in a really bizarre way that DebzOG isn't letting the Satanic Gilmore Girls rule her life.  how fucking creepy was Soph's voice from the bathroom "I don't want to see her if she marries Daaay-vid?"  *shudder*.  that poor child has *no* chance to be a normal person. 

Also, I tried really hard to never involve boy-child in grownup family conflicts.  If I was mad at his grandma, he'd be none the wiser, I'd talk nice (or at least neutral)  about her as I always did.  I get that in some extreme cases, that's not appropriate, but Sophia knows and has seen too much for a child.

Amber is still crying over Matt and saying she's sad that they can't be together (he sent her pictures of *pills*?  WTF, you manipulative asshole?) yet there's a new guy at her house who she's seconds away from getting impregnated by.  And how wonderful it is that this baby is being born, because she loves parenting so much....hold on, what???

Nova is lucky that she can "talk words" at all.  I know you can't *really* carry on a convo w/a three-year-old, but you can ask follow-up questions or point things out, as opposed to just parroting their words back at them and saying "Park?  Yeah!"

My daughter is a day older than Nova (turned 3 on NYE, but if you ask her how old she is, she'll tell you "I'M TWENTY-THREE!") and one of my favorite things ever is having conversations with her.  Kids come up with the craziest shit and my daughter is WAY more verbal than my son was at that age.  She'll make up stories, tell knock-knock jokes, you name it.  It's hilarious.  

I loathe Amber with the fire of a thousand suns.  She has no IDEA what it feels like to be an actual parent and, consequently, has no concept of the shit-show she's leaving Gary and Christina to clean up.  I've seen her on Twitter, she's trying to spin it like she's giving up seeing Leah for Leah's own good because she didn't want Leah to see her that way.  Give me a fucking break.  Leah wants her mommy.  Leah is feeling rejected by her mommy.  Leah is missing her mommy.  You're HURTING her Amber.  What harm would it be to send her a fucking text, or facetime her or drive the whopping THIRTY MINUTES to see her for an hour?  Props to Gary and Christina for not throat punching her.  I sure as hell wanted to.

God, I freaking hate her.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Lm2162 said:

Maybe so. I've certainly personally known some (legal) mentally healthy sex workers during grad school, but I would assume (as you do) that many more are not healthy. Many more people do it than people realize. Since the majority of both men and women have watched porn, and most men in particular do so regularly, though, I think it's a much larger problem than the sex workers themselves. If there was not such a massive demand, people wouldn't do it at all. Maybe the problem is more that our society is addicted to porn. I do hate that the workers get blamed and pitied while the watchers/buyers get to just "fit in" with society and aren't considered "mentally ill" for what THEY do. Maybe it's a systemic problem that feeds on everybody's insecurities. I also wonder about male porn stars and if they aren't shamed as much or if some of them have been abused too. I truly don't know. An interesting question.

That’s one of the things that REALLY irks me when people criticize Farrah’s career in the adult industry (the name calling etc), it’s usually from straight men, who I’d bet dollars to donuts have consumed the same type of media on a REGULAR basis, but the actors (male and female- but especially female) that create the content are xyz (insert pejorative here). This notion that certain types of women (because straight porn is mostly designed for men), are there for sexual fulfillment, but how dare she earn a living or be given basic human respect for filling a role YOUR desire created. 

Of course I would never want anyone to be sexually abused or forced into sex work. I also think it’s really sucky that it’s more lucrative to work in the sex industry than work a low skill job in retail/fast food service. I think it’s awful people have to make choices like this to put food on the table for their loved ones, but I am not going to tell a mentally competent adult how to feel about their job when I have never done it. Of all of Farrah’s choices her participation in pornography and line of sex toys bother me the least. 

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

14 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

That’s one of the things that REALLY irks me when people criticize Farrah’s career in the adult industry (the name calling etc), it’s usually from straight men, who I’d bet dollars to donuts have consumed the same type of media on a REGULAR basis, but the actors (male and female- but especially female) that create the content are xyz (insert pejorative here). This notion that certain types of women (because straight porn is mostly designed for men), are there for sexual fulfillment, but how dare she earn a living or be given basic human respect for filling a role YOUR desire created. 

Of course I would never want anyone to be sexually abused or forced into sex work. I also think it’s really sucky that it’s more lucrative to work in the sex industry than work a low skill job in retail/fast food service. I think it’s awful people have to make choices like this to put food on the table for their loved ones, but I am not going to tell a mentally competent adult how to feel about their job when I have never done it. Of all of Farrah’s choices her participation in pornography and line of sex toys bother me the least. 

Also I don’t blame her one iota for not wanting to be around the good Dr. David. He’s creepy and pushy and I bet he doesn’t curb that behavior around Sophia. He was out of line from day one and has never apologized nor seen an issue with what he did the very first time he met Farrah. You don’t have to be a Farrah stan to see that he is inappropriate. I get kinda sick of people (not here, but on other TM fan communities) that justify or otherwise not comment negatively about the guy and what he did because “He put her in her place” and “He doesn’t take her attitude”. And that perspective is shared with full throated support by other women (which just boggles my mind). Both Farrah and David can be assholes. She can be a petty dictator and he can be handsy and disrespect her boundaries. Both these things can happen simultaneously. 

Also his hair and beard are stupid and he looks like he’s auditioning for a Loverboy tribute band. 

[SPLAIN]

2 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

Maybe so. I've certainly personally known some (legal) mentally healthy sex workers during grad school, but I would assume (as you do) that many more are not healthy. Many more people do it than people realize. Since the majority of both men and women have watched porn, and most men in particular do so regularly, though, I think it's a much larger problem than the sex workers themselves. If there was not such a massive demand, people wouldn't do it at all. Maybe the problem is more that our society is addicted to porn. I do hate that the workers get blamed and pitied while the watchers/buyers get to just "fit in" with society and aren't considered "mentally ill" for what THEY do. Maybe it's a systemic problem that feeds on everybody's insecurities. I also wonder about male porn stars and if they aren't shamed as much or if some of them have been abused too. I truly don't know. An interesting question.

 

40 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

That’s one of the things that REALLY irks me when people criticize Farrah’s career in the adult industry (the name calling etc), it’s usually from straight men, who I’d bet dollars to donuts have consumed the same type of media on a REGULAR basis, but the actors (male and female- but especially female) that create the content are xyz (insert pejorative here). This notion that certain types of women (because straight porn is mostly designed for men), are there for sexual fulfillment, but how dare she earn a living or be given basic human respect for filling a role YOUR desire created. 

Of course I would never want anyone to be sexually abused or forced into sex work. I also think it’s really sucky that it’s more lucrative to work in the sex industry than work a low skill job in retail/fast food service. I think it’s awful people have to make choices like this to put food on the table for their loved ones, but I am not going to tell a mentally competent adult how to feel about their job when I have never done it. Of all of Farrah’s choices her participation in pornography and line of sex toys bother me the least. 

Well put, ladies.

Who can forget when Ryan acted like the morality king when he got on his soapbox and declared, "She’s nasty, dude. She’s got no morals.” Excuse me, prick? You who has gone around town buying and using drugs while you laid up with god knows how many females including one whom you impregnated.

It is a known fact that plenty of people who enter the sex industry are not mentally equipped to be in the business. That can be said about many jobs and careers.

I don't understand why Farrah is chastised and accused of abandoning her child because she goes out of town from time to time to earn money. There were plenty of instances when Farrah left out of state with her child. Not all parents have a job that is in town and pays enough. The person who is abandoning their child is Amber.

 

21 minutes ago, TeenMomAngerMgmt said:

Also I don’t blame her one iota for not wanting to be around the good Dr. David. He’s creepy and pushy and I bet he doesn’t curb that behavior around Sophia. He was out of line from day one and has never apologized nor seen an issue with what he did the very first time he met Farrah. You don’t have to be a Farrah stan to see that he is inappropriate. I get kinda sick of people (not here, but on other TM fan communities) that justify or otherwise not comment negatively about the guy and what he did because “He put her in her place” and “He doesn’t take her attitude”. And that perspective is shared with full throated support by other women (which just boggles my mind). Both Farrah and David can be assholes. She can be a petty dictator and he can be handsy and disrespect her boundaries. Both these things can happen simultaneously. 

Also his hair and beard are stupid and he looks like he’s auditioning for a Loverboy tribute band. 

100 percent agree. When Farrah stated David was inappropriate with her and made her feel a certain way (I can't recall the exact word she used to describe how he made her feel), I was cheering her on. Many of us had said the same thing to describe his inappropriate behavior towards her and some wondered if Sophia was safe around him. Many have worried about the guys being around Jenelle's kids and Gary and Kristina's daughter, Leah. Gary and Kristina can only do so much to protect Leah. Thank goodness Leah is not with Amber that often. But even those few instances are enough for someone to take advantage of her and Glennon is certainly giving me creepy vibes just by looking at his arrest record. Jenelle could care less about who she brings around her kids. She has no cares at all about their safety. Here we have Farrah who is expressing how an adult man has treated her in an unsuitable and improper manner and doesn't want that person to bring harm to her child. That guy oozes so much dreadful and disturbing behavior. That has been my feeling since I saw him cross the line with how he touched Farrah. I have dealt with too many assholes like that who think they can breach your space and body.

Edited January 4, 2018 by SPLAIN

[TeeMo]

4 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Do they ever speculate what it would have been like to have an infant in the house with drug addicted Butch and April as they yelled and beat each other?  Nope. They didn’t start to get cash until 2012.  They need to stop fantasizing and accept reality. 

I think Tyler has started to get there with all of this. In the scene with the producer after the visit in this episode he was rattling through all the reasons for the adoption again and you could see his anger when he mentioned that their parents were messed up and also not supportive. I feel for Cate and Tyler in the sense that they have had to deal with coming to terms with their respective parents AND their feelings about the adoption simultaneously and there is a TON of conflict there. Butch and April were giant assholes during the 16 and Pregnant years. Cate was basically raising her younger brother at that time in her life while trying to make a decision about what to do with her own baby. Meanwhile April and Butch were doing ZERO parenting themselves while screaming at Cate and Tyler that they were terrible people for even considering adoption. Watching Cate and Tyler brattily whine about mean Brandon and Teresa these days it is really easy to forget just how truly terrible their situation was back when they made the decision to put Carly up for adoption. 

The fact that they have both managed to forgive Butch and April and keep them in their lives makes it all the more complicated, I think. In order to maintain those relationships I think they both buried a lot of their justified anger towards April and Butch but Tyler did show some of it tonight. If they had somehow cut April and Butch out of their lives they probably could have dealt with that anger sooner. 

 I think Tyler's complaints about Brandon and Teresa now are mostly just because he feels entitled to anything he wants and doesn't like anything dictated to him by anyone else. I used to see a lot of raw pain in him regarding the adoption but I see that less and less now. I think he has come to terms with a lot of it and really does accept that they made the right decision and that Carly ended up in the best possible place. I just think he wants to be the one who decides when he gets to see her because he is kind of an ass. 

I don't think the same about Cate. She quite obviously still has a lot of unresolved issues around the adoption and I think having Nova just magnified them. Yes, of course Teresa is Carly's mother and I really do think Cate knows that but when she sees Nova and Carly together I don't think she can help feeling like a mother looking at her two daughters. I don't see how she couldn't. I think these visits are just a terrible idea for her at least right now. On top of that, I think Cate has additional unresolved issues surrounding Teresa who became a bit of a mother figure to Cate at a time when her own mother was just not available. I think the longer time between visits is painful for Cate because she is sad about not seeing Carly but I think she is also sad about her now strained relationship with Teresa as well. 

It is just a very sad situation all around and I don't know what the answer is. I think Cate and Tyler have done a lot wrong in the past couple of seasons of the show and I have been super frustrated with them but I can't help feeling pretty sad for them (especially Cate) in these episodes where we see the actual toll of the visits. 

[Marley]

I don’t care that Farrah works in the sex industry. It’s her life she can make money how she wants. I do think it’s messed how she’s fucking up her daughter tho. That was not normal kid behaviour at the table. Sophia needs some help from someone other then her crazy family. Farrah homeschooling is hilarious too.

[WhosThatGirl]

Seriously.. I wish this show would end and we could stop watching these people. On both this one and tm2. The name doesn’t even make sense anymore! None of them have been teens for a long time. And also the stories are going nowhere.

As for Farrah and her chosen career.. I don’t have a problem with it. It’s not the career I would choose for myself but whatever. It’s always bothered me that the cast members on this show act all holy and mighty with her because of it and that’s why they didn’t want her on the show at first. When really.. they just don’t like her. Which is kind of valid too. She’s awful a lot(as they all are at time, even Maci) but they couldn’t come out right out and say this because that’s not how they want to present themselves to the audience.

Also look.. I’ve felt for Catelynn and Tyler and their parents for a long time. The original episode is so awful with both the parents acting like jerks to make them keep their child. Like how April brought a bassist for Cates child AFTER Catelynn and Tyler had met and already discussed the adoption plans. And then the first season of Teen Mom was just as awful with their behavior. Butch yelling at Catelynn and April allowing this to happen and not saying a word to protect her daughter.

And then it was still an issue years later when anytime April was angry or upset with Catelynn she would constantly bring it up, like when she went prom dress shopping with Catelynn and then got into a fight with her and brought up how none of her opinions matter because Cate doesn’t listen to her anyway and then left her there! 

And to me.. neither Butch or April has any real remorse for their actions. I just remember when TM was coming back and all the girls had to watch previous seasons and do commentary and April left during the Teen Mom moments with her and Cate and fighting and said she would come back and then never did. (Side note: Amber refused to watch any of Teen mom herself and I remember Gary being pissed about that) I don’t think April or Butch have really thought about the things they did or didn’t do or said during that time.

So I feel for them. At the same time the show has made this worse for them. I constantly feel like Catelynn would have kept Carly if she thought she would have show money. I never knew until posting here (and reading/lurking on Twop) that Tyler was the one who said adoption or me, that definitely has changed my view on Catelynns whole viewpoint on this things. It also makes my heart hurt because I always remember when B&T asked that they stop posting things on social media and Tyler ignored the request and said “whatever if they stop visits” Catelynn looked heartbroken. That’s sad. There’s real pain there. And that does make me sad for her.

[SPLAIN]

On 1/2/2018 at 7:37 PM, hoosiermommy said:

Because it isn't about B&T or even C&T. It is about Carley and allowing her to know her heritage and blood relations.

 

My son is 5. He sees his birth mother yearly. He has told me before he misses her. I don't know what he misses, but yes, kids that age can know and miss people.

 

Adoption is hard. Adoptive parents go in knowing that their children's reality is a whole other set of parents.  And sometimes it really sucks to have to acknowledge and accept that. But if B&T cut off C&T because they are "crazy" or "immature" or whatever, when the day comes when they have to explain why, an adoptee could make the jump that, since they share blood, they have the same undesirable traits and of mom and dad didn't like it with birth parents, they don't like it with me.

 

A lot of adoptees struggle with feelings of inadequacy...no need to make it more likely or worse.

As an adopted child I have no cares whatsoever to ever meet or know anything more about my bio parents. I have pointed this out numerous times throughout the seasons. I know how I feel and I also know how I feel doesn't represent how other adopted children feel, but I truly feel there are more adopted children who feel like I do. I feel shows such as Dr. Phil, 20/20, and this mess on MTV concerning C&T tends to put a negative spotlight on adoption, open adoption, and how adopted children tend to have negative feelings about themselves and their adopted parents. 

A lot of people (not you personally) assume adopted children have this desire to know about their heritage, their bio family, and that they suffer somehow from being an adopted child. I can't express how many times I have been asked by people if I ever want to search my "real" family.  The people who gave me up are not my family. The people who raised me, cared for me, and loved me are my family. My family had imperfections just like many other families. I feel sometimes adopted children who come from troubled families tend to seek out their birth parents hoping to find whatever happiness they feel they are not receiving from their home environment. Of course, there are other adopted children who are just curious and want to know about their family blood line.

I certainly cannot compare my experience as an adopted child to C&T's case because I never was part of an open adoption. However, my adoption was never legally finalized. My birth mother could have easily come around at any time and claimed me, especially since her name is on my birth certificate. I knew this since I was 9 years old.

I do think this particular case is touchy for all involved, mainly Carly. I wish B&T would reduce visits or cease visitation altogether. They could do so without commenting negatively about C&T to Carly. When Carly is of adult age, she can decide if she wants to resume any sort of relationship with C&T.  If there isn't a therapist involved, I think it would help greatly if B&T would acquire one to assist Carly.  A dose of reality from this fantasy C&T have built in their minds needs to be dealt with accordingly. C&T won't come to that realization on their own. I firmly believe it will have to come from B&T with assistance from a professional (not Dawn) to gently pull the plug on visits.

[bethster2000]

8 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

"She’s nasty, dude. She’s got no morals.”

 

[MissMel]

OR, maybe this pic?  Lots of morals oozing from Rhiiiine here, as well.

Gonna have to agree with Mack on this one

Edited January 4, 2018 by MissMel
words

[StayingAfterSunday]

On 1/3/2018 at 11:45 AM, MaggieG said:

Good God, Amber is ridiculous. Gary is a better person than me, I would not have let her come over. She owes him almost 10 grand in child support?! And NewMatt is already driving her around?! She doesn't see Leah but is already pregnant with this guy after dating him for 2 minutes??!! I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't (TM Roxanne from TM2)

I don't have words for Sophia. I just feel bad for the poor kid. She will never be normal. 

Was Amber high on something?  The way she just HAD to come over in 30 minutes seemed very addict-like, i.e. the urge to get things done when you're under the influence because you know that when the drug wears off you'll be back to the same depressed, non-productive state of mind.  Also, the way Gary was looking at her when she was draping herself over Leah; it was a true "penny for your thoughts" moment.

[GreatKazu]

15 minutes ago, StayingAfterSunday said:

Was Amber high on something?  The way she just HAD to come over in 30 minutes seemed very addict-like, i.e. the urge to get things done when you're under the influence because you know that when the drug wears off you'll be back to the same depressed, non-productive state of mind.  Also, the way Gary was looking at her when she was draping herself over Leah; it was a true "penny for your thoughts" moment.

It seems when Amber is in these new relationships, she is riding high just like she is on drugs. Here is a new guy who is all over her with his lovey-dovey words. They are in the honeymoon phase of the relationship as he helps her broken heart feel better. 

Baby Huey saw the relationship between Matt and Amber come to its end and he swooped in knowing Amber has a six figure income. It reminds me of how David was in jail with Jenelle's ex boyfriend. Once David had the chance, he sought out Jenelle, and her money. 

Quote

"She’s nasty, dude. She’s got no morals.”

That is what kills me about these people. They have no room to judge.  

[IgnoranceisBLISS]

On 1/2/2018 at 1:45 PM, CofCinci said:

Buddies, do you think Ryan is back on drugs? He looked pretty out of it while playing with his toy truck. 

Am I the only one that noticed how bad Auntie Amber's eyes were dilated? Is she back on the pillses too?

[Mr. Miner]

37 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

Baby Huey saw the relationship between Matt and Amber come to its end and he swooped in knowing Amber has a six figure income

Stupid bastard! if it was a seven figure income it's not worth it.

[CaliforniaLove]

Quote

Nova is lucky that she can "talk words" at all.  I know you can't *really* carry on a convo w/a three-year-old, but you can ask follow-up questions or point things out, as opposed to just parroting their words back at them and saying "Park?  Yeah!"

Oh my god, THIS. It's getting to the point where Nova is almost starting to seem a little..."special", and I completely agree that it's good that she knows any words at all! For the record, I don't think she's slow, but it sure seems that way when all you see her do is screech a word that they screech back. 

Is Amber's new piece of shit serious with those red pants? I could smell that skeezer through the tv. He is disgusting. How exactly did he "relate" to Amber's story? He's a pathetic, drug addicted former teen Mom?

[ghoulina]

17 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

That’s one of the things that REALLY irks me when people criticize Farrah’s career in the adult industry (the name calling etc), it’s usually from straight men, who I’d bet dollars to donuts have consumed the same type of media on a REGULAR basis,

Indeed. I have my own personal feelings about sex work, but I'd never deign to think that MY morals need to dictate someone else's life. I also practice what I preach. You can't tell me Ryan hasn't watched porn and gone to strip clubs. He wants to call Farrah nasty, but this is the dude that was texting some chick he met on a dating site, asking her to come sit on his face, when he was in a relationship with his NOW wife. HE'S fucking nasty. 

 

2 hours ago, IgnoranceisBLISS said:

Am I the only one that noticed how bad Auntie Amber's eyes were dilated? Is she back on the pillses too?

I didn't notice them this episode. But a few episodes back Matt accused her of being on something and she protested, by pointing out how "sober" her eyes apparently looked - and her pupils looked HUGE, to me, then. 

Edited January 4, 2018 by ghoulina

[politichick]

On 1/2/2018 at 2:45 PM, CofCinci said:

Buddies, do you think Ryan is back on drugs? He looked pretty out of it while playing with his toy truck. 

Totes!

[Birdee]

3 hours ago, IgnoranceisBLISS said:

Am I the only one that noticed how bad Auntie Amber's eyes were dilated? Is she back on the pillses too?

Where's Dr. Drew and his cell phone flashlight when you need them?

[CaliforniaLove]

23 minutes ago, Birdee said:

Where's Dr. Drew and his cell phone flashlight when you need them?

He's busy preparing for the next reunion...by actively not watching the show. 

[mamadrama]

47 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

He's busy preparing for the next reunion...by actively not watching the show. 

And putting batteries in his flashlight so that he can safely find his way as he crawls up all their asses. 

[snarts]

16 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

As an adopted child I have no cares whatsoever to ever meet or know anything more about my bio parents. I have pointed this out numerous times throughout the seasons. I know how I feel and I also know how I feel doesn't represent how other adopted children feel, but I truly feel there are more adopted children who feel like I do. I feel shows such as Dr. Phil, 20/20, and this mess on MTV concerning C&T tends to put a negative spotlight on adoption, open adoption, and how adopted children tend to have negative feelings about themselves and their adopted parents. 

A lot of people (not you personally) assume adopted children have this desire to know about their heritage, their bio family, and that they suffer somehow from being an adopted child. I can't express how many times I have been asked by people if I ever want to search my "real" family.  The people who gave me up are not my family. The people who raised me, cared for me, and loved me are my family. My family had imperfections just like many other families. I feel sometimes adopted children who come from troubled families tend to seek out their birth parents hoping to find whatever happiness they feel they are not receiving from their home environment. Of course, there are other adopted children who are just curious and want to know about their family blood line.

I certainly cannot compare my experience as an adopted child to C&T's case because I never was part of an open adoption. However, my adoption was never legally finalized. My birth mother could have easily come around at any time and claimed me, especially since her name is on my birth certificate. I knew this since I was 9 years old.

I do think this particular case is touchy for all involved, mainly Carly. I wish B&T would reduce visits or cease visitation altogether. They could do so without commenting negatively about C&T to Carly. When Carly is of adult age, she can decide if she wants to resume any sort of relationship with C&T.  If there isn't a therapist involved, I think it would help greatly if B&T would acquire one to assist Carly.  A dose of reality from this fantasy C&T have built in their minds needs to be dealt with accordingly. C&T won't come to that realization on their own. I firmly believe it will have to come from B&T with assistance from a professional (not Dawn) to gently pull the plug on visits.

From another adoptee, word to your entire post.

[lezlers]

On ‎1‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 11:18 AM, teapot said:

do you guys remember that Ashley girl from 16 & Pregnant?  She had a daughter, and her relatives adopted her, but she kept going back & forth and honestly couldn't decide whether she could parent.

She was such a messed-up kid but she seemed really nice.

anyway, it seems that she stayed close to the daughter this whole time but she hasn't raised her.  she got back together w/the girl's father and now they have a son.  I follow her on instagram & she's always talking about how she loves the baby but she wishes things could have been different with the daughter.  like every time she mentions her son she also mentions her daughter...

 

and sometimes I think I need real friends instead of spying on strangers on the internet...nah, it's easier this way;  I don't have to get as involved and no one expects anything of me because they don't even know I exist!

link to a story about Ashley

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/ashley-salazar-16-and-pregnant-baby-boy-122747

That reminds me of Kenya from Real Housewives of Atlanta.  Her bio mom didn't want her so her grandmother raised her.  She'd still see her mother at family functions and her mother pretended she didn't even exist.  After growing up like that, I'm shocked Kenya isn't more fucked up than she is.   How horrible for a child.

On ‎1‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 1:52 PM, vmcd88 said:

Has Amber had the baby yet?  Cause I wonder how it will be for her when she has the baby 24/7 and God forbid, has to be a hands on parent even when she doesnt feel like it.  Can you just imagine taking a full on break from parenting when are having a bad day/week/month?  Poor Leah. Poor new baby.  

Damn Sofia needs to be in therapy.  Growling when someone asks you a question is not normal.  That kid scares me.  

I wouldn't be surprised if Amber left her baby on Gary and Christina's doorstep.

[monicageller]

On 1/3/2018 at 7:54 AM, LilaFowler said:

I don't have much sympathy (or any, really) for Mackenzie. She knew what she was doing when she married him. Boo hoo, bitch.

That's exactly what Lila would say. I love it.

[FozzyBear]

8 hours ago, StayingAfterSunday said:

Was Amber high on something?  The way she just HAD to come over in 30 minutes seemed very addict-like, i.e. the urge to get things done when you're under the influence because you know that when the drug wears off you'll be back to the same depressed, non-productive state of mind.  Also, the way Gary was looking at her when she was draping herself over Leah; it was a true "penny for your thoughts" moment.

I sort of assumed she wanted it on camera and had screwed around laying on the couch and doing her nails for so long she was told she only had a half hour until the crew had to be let go for the day. 

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, snarts said:

From another adoptee, word to your entire post.

And another here.

Edited January 5, 2018 by DangerousMinds

[WhosThatGirl]

Yeah.. I don’t have any empathy for Mack, she was marrying Ryan while he was high and presenting the facade story that they were getting married earlier for court? Instead of the truth being rehab.  I mean.. huh? And then when she went to the reunion and acted all disgruntled to Maci. Which.. doesn’t make me give Maci any points because she sucks too. And then we had to watch the other two girls worship Maci like a goddess or something. 

Whatever.

And like I said I’m always conflicted about Catelynn re Carly and the whole Tyler situation of it all. Plus Tyler is a jerk a lot of the time. He really is. I know Cate has her own issues and problems, but Tyler has been quite mean to her many times over. I still remember him losing his mind over her hooking up with an ex YEARs AGo when they were sort of maybe but not really together because she was living in another state and then they had a big moment where they pretty little liars her phone records. Also he kept holding off their wedding and she had to buy her dress because it was on hold for so long and she never ever wore it. 

The more  I think about Tyler the more I don’t like him, and also don’t quite understand why Kim many times made snide comments that implied Tyler was better off without Cate. 

[SimonSeymour]

18 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

As an adopted child I have no cares whatsoever to ever meet or know anything more about my bio parents. I have pointed this out numerous times throughout the seasons. I know how I feel and I also know how I feel doesn't represent how other adopted children feel, but I truly feel there are more adopted children who feel like I do. I feel shows such as Dr. Phil, 20/20, and this mess on MTV concerning C&T tends to put a negative spotlight on adoption, open adoption, and how adopted children tend to have negative feelings about themselves and their adopted parents. 

A lot of people (not you personally) assume adopted children have this desire to know about their heritage, their bio family, and that they suffer somehow from being an adopted child. I can't express how many times I have been asked by people if I ever want to search my "real" family.  The people who gave me up are not my family. The people who raised me, cared for me, and loved me are my family. My family had imperfections just like many other families. I feel sometimes adopted children who come from troubled families tend to seek out their birth parents hoping to find whatever happiness they feel they are not receiving from their home environment. Of course, there are other adopted children who are just curious and want to know about their family blood line.

I certainly cannot compare my experience as an adopted child to C&T's case because I never was part of an open adoption. However, my adoption was never legally finalized. My birth mother could have easily come around at any time and claimed me, especially since her name is on my birth certificate. I knew this since I was 9 years old.

I do think this particular case is touchy for all involved, mainly Carly. I wish B&T would reduce visits or cease visitation altogether. They could do so without commenting negatively about C&T to Carly. When Carly is of adult age, she can decide if she wants to resume any sort of relationship with C&T.  If there isn't a therapist involved, I think it would help greatly if B&T would acquire one to assist Carly.  A dose of reality from this fantasy C&T have built in their minds needs to be dealt with accordingly. C&T won't come to that realization on their own. I firmly believe it will have to come from B&T with assistance from a professional (not Dawn) to gently pull the plug on visits.

I am also adopted and I 100% agree with you. I have no interest in finding or meeting my birth parents and never have. 

 

However, when my state (Illinois) opened up previously closed adoption records several years ago, I requested a copy of my original birth certificate, just to confirm that what my parents told me was accurate (it was). Eight months later I got a letter in the mail from the department of health informing me that another adopted child with my same birth parents also requested her original birth certificate and if I wanted her info, I could have it, if she also agreed. She did, and so did I. 

It turned out that she lived THREE BLOCKS away from me! We agreed to meet and five years later, I have a new best friend who is also my biological sister a year and a half younger than me, and whom I talk to every day. This experience has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me, other than being adopted by my parents in the first place. :)

But, neither of us have any interest in meeting our birth parents. I felt differently about meeting her, I guess mostly because I had always wanted a sibling (I am an only child), and we were both in the exact same situation. 

[CaliforniaLove]

Great story @SimonSeymour! Thanks for sharing!!

[mamadrama]

On 1/4/2018 at 9:27 PM, SimonSeymour said:

I am also adopted and I 100% agree with you. I have no interest in finding or meeting my birth parents and never have. 

 

However, when my state (Illinois) opened up previously closed adoption records several years ago, I requested a copy of my original birth certificate, just to confirm that what my parents told me was accurate (it was). Eight months later I got a letter in the mail from the department of health informing me that another adopted child with my same birth parents also requested her original birth certificate and if I wanted her info, I could have it, if she also agreed. She did, and so did I. 

It turned out that she lived THREE BLOCKS away from me! We agreed to meet and five years later, I have a new best friend who is also my biological sister a year and a half younger than me, and whom I talk to every day. This experience has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me, other than being adopted by my parents in the first place. :)

But, neither of us have any interest in meeting our birth parents. I felt differently about meeting her, I guess mostly because I had always wanted a sibling (I am an only child), and we were both in the exact same situation. 

A similar thing happened to me last year and I had the same reaction (probably because I, too, and am only child and always wanted a sibling). Some random guy got on Facebook on a page for our local historical society and posted a picture of a man. "Do you know this man? I am 35 and this is the only picture I have of my dad. I don't know where he lives or what his name is but my mother says his family is from that area." Guess whose dad it also turned out to be? He'd grown up always wanting a sister, I'd grown up always wanting a brother. We were thrilled to find each other. (And our relationship is totally separate from what we have with our parents.) 

 

I honestly don't see the harm in curtailing visits with everyone, but still keeping them all updated on each other's lives, until Carly is 18, MTV stops filming, Cate is healthier, etc. 

** (I don't know if you all are interested but my kids-ages 9 and 5- actually made a 20-minute documentary about our meeting and finding each other for the first time. The kids put it together, entered it into a film festival and WON "audience favorite" and "child movie". We were shocked as hell. 

Edited January 10, 2018 by mamadrama

[SimonSeymour]

25 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Great story @SimonSeymour! Thanks for sharing!!

Thanks! And thanks for reading it. I will literally tell this story to anyone who will listen, because it has been so life-changing.  Lol. I mean, when we met, we both had the same breed of male dog with the same name that is now usually a female name (and it’s not a common dog name like Max or whatever). 

Sidney (I didn’t mean to be cryptic). 

Mamadrama - AMAZING!!  Isn’t it so much fun?!

Edited January 5, 2018 by SimonSeymour

[mamadrama]

1 minute ago, SimonSeymour said:

Thanks! And thanks for reading it. I will literally tell this story to anyone who will listen, because it has been so life-changing.  Lol. I mean, when we met, we both had the same breed of male dog with the same name that is now usually a female name (and it’s not a common dog name like Max or whatever). 

Sidney (I didn’t mean to be cryptic). 

I totally get it! We were the same way. Turns out we're both ghost hunters, our FB pages are filled with pictures of our urban exploring adventures, etc. Isn't it wild how you had no idea the other existed but then you meet and find out that you have so much in common? I am still pretty excited about it myself. 

I think Carly and Nova could potentially have a great relationship in the future, but I also think that's something that can be cultivated between the two of them when they are older. C&T gave up the right to raise Carly with any of her siblings, and that's what it sounds like they want-not visits here and there but to actually raise the girls together. 

I do feel badly for Cate. I am wondering if this was the turning point for her going back to rehab. I mean, it stressed ME the hell out and I don't have a dog in this fight, nor do I like any of the people outside of the kids.(B&T seem okay.)

[leighroda]

One thing that makes me so mad about Amber has said in the past that she wa taking measures not to get pregnant because it could be detrimental (ok so she obviously didn’t say detrimental) in a pregnancy,and is on the show saying how she’s “soooooooo depressed, she can’t even function, ok fine breakups are hard even when both parties are douchecanoes... but then in a matter of weeks, mayyybe months felt like it was ok to quit her meds and see how she does and subsequently gets pregnant. The time span between Matt and Matt 2.0 isn’t very long, and we know she didn’t do any of the work one generally needs to do to get out of a depressed slump. It’s just irresponsible, even healthy people  sometimes feel a little “crazy” with horomones in pregnancy... I can’t imagine when you are actually unstable. 

[eskimo]

Much of the problem with Cate and Tyler is the fact that they equate money with stability and success.  They appear to be of the mindset that the lack of money was the only obstacle between them parenting Carly.  They could have had a 6 figure income back then and Carly would still have been better off with B&T.  Money doesn't buy a child mature, selfless parents.  They can barely handle life now, with money and a few years under their belts.  They made the right choice, no matter how much money they have today.  While April and Butch were using drugs and tearing the house down, Carly was tucked safely in bed with B & T looking over her.  While Cate is smoking weed while driving and impulsively buying $3000 pigs, Carly is singing in the car with her mother.  Lack of money is one of the least important issues C & T had.  They were smarter at 16.

I do want to say, though, that I feel for Cate and that I know her pain is real.  She just needs to remind herself daily of what Carly's first years would have been like.  She did a wonderful thing for Carly.  She made the pain hers, rather than Carly's.  She should not ruin that now with an idealized version of what-might-have-been. 

[leighroda]

On 1/3/2018 at 7:45 PM, lezlers said:

My daughter is a day older than Nova (turned 3 on NYE, but if you ask her how old she is, she'll tell you "I'M TWENTY-THREE!") and one of my favorite things ever is having conversations with her.  Kids come up with the craziest shit and my daughter is WAY more verbal than my son was at that age.  She'll make up stories, tell knock-knock jokes, you name it.  It's hilarious.  

I loathe Amber with the fire of a thousand suns.  She has no IDEA what it feels like to be an actual parent and, consequently, has no concept of the shit-show she's leaving Gary and Christina to clean up.  I've seen her on Twitter, she's trying to spin it like she's giving up seeing Leah for Leah's own good because she didn't want Leah to see her that way.  Give me a fucking break.  Leah wants her mommy.  Leah is feeling rejected by her mommy.  Leah is missing her mommy.  You're HURTING her Amber.  What harm would it be to send her a fucking text, or facetime her or drive the whopping THIRTY MINUTES to see her for an hour?  Props to Gary and Christina for not throat punching her.  I sure as hell wanted to.

God, I freaking hate her.

I was literally just talking to my best friend the other day about how funny kids are (she has 3), this also makes me wonder how well Nova can talk, I don’t really want to speculate that she could have an issue, because there is a wide margin for “normal” when it comes to kids, but the story that came to my mind when I was thinking of this was how my friends daughter had a funny sense of humor when she was around 2.... if you can’t tell by my screen name my first name is leigh, or aunt leigh to my bffs kids, but she also has a sister named Jackie (so aunt jackie just like in Roseanne, all roads lead to Lanford) when girl child was in the 18 mo-2 yr range, she would call me “aunt jackie” while funny, we just thought it was a mistake, or the fact that they called me aunt our names were interchangeable, we laughed the first few times but I usually just corrected her, so I’m not sure if it was because she wanted to make us laugh or what. so one day I was at her house and girl child looked directly at me and said “aunt le... aunt Jackie” with a sly grin, we couldn’t believe that she knew what she was doing was funny, I remember at the time thinking “how does she already know how to make jokes!?”.

Like I said I don’t really want to speculate about how much or how little Nova talks, who knows maybe she’s camera shy... I used to work for a pediatrician and ask about milestones all the time but for the life of me I can’t remember the 3 yr ones. I know when girl child in above story was 3 she talked up a storm... but she’s a talker, she’s 7 now and still talks non stop. I made the mistake of teaching her the song “call me maybe” when she was 3-ish, one time my friend and I were outside her room and heard her talking, in a regular conversational voice she was saying “hey I just met you, and this is crazy”.

All of that to say, I know those are random stories I didn’t mean to go on a tangent, I just hope Nova isn’t as neglected/ignored as a lot of us suspect.

[IDreamofJoaquin]

On ‎1‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 2:43 AM, onatrek said:

The more we've seen of Sophia lately, the more I'm wondering if the real reason behind the homeschooling is it being suggested maybe she be tested or something and Farrah being incensed and yanking her out of that school (and avoiding putting her elsewhere) because she's afraid it's going to come up elsewhere as well.

This is a very good point.   Also, Sophia scares the shit out of me.

On ‎1‎/‎3‎/‎2018 at 10:20 AM, RamonaSenomar said:

My own kids have even figured out by now what is and isn't an appropriate photo (and accompanying announcement) to post on my limited-friends-list-and-tightest-privacy-settings on facebook.  Pics of my kids winning a medal at a school awards ceremony?  "Post it on facebook, Mom!"  Pics of my kids with bedhead while sipping chocolate milk in their fleece jammies while playing endless Minecraft?  "You're NOT posting that on facebook, Mom!"

Yes!!!  This is me with my son.

[guilfoyleatpp]

6 hours ago, eskimo said:

She did a wonderful thing for Carly.  She made the pain hers, rather than Carly's.  She should not ruin that now with an idealized version of what-might-have-been. 

This is such a beautifully expressed thought that it made me teary. Thank you for writing that. 

[Jax7917]

I feel very bad for Amber's unborn child, but boy am I excited for her to actually have no choice but to have this kid full-time, and not just once every few months like she would like. This guy must be a real winner to see how much of a witch Amber is ,  with her charming personality and wonderful mothering, to not be able to wait until she got home from filming another trash reality show which is about her and her loser "fiance". He probably heard her say in her marriage boot camp talking heads how she let Matt access and control her account and he stole all that money from her and the light bulb went on. So here goes round 2.. except with a child. ...

[BlancheDevoreaux]

On 1/2/2018 at 4:44 PM, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

As to Leah's surprise drop-ins at Gary's: Not to mention that Kristina (Leah's real mom) has another child whose father doesn't allow to be filmed. What if Kristina's older daughter was at home when Amber decided on a whim to get her ass up to go visit Leah at Gary's for the benefit of showing what a great mom she is to NewMatt and MTV? Are Kristina and Gary supposed to surprise-announce to the girl's dad that she'll be returning home in a few minutes (if the distance between where they and Kristina's ex live even makes that possible)? Are they supposed to lock the girl in her room, tell her not to make noise, and to basically make herself seem nonexistent in her own home so some deadbeat woman can play mom for the cameras to her stepsister for a few minutes?  Amber is so damn inconsiderate. Other people do have lives and responsibilities besides laying in bed and ordering food delivery, Amber. 

 

As for Teresa and the situation with Carly/Catelynn (& Tyler): A few posters have commented up thread about the look of heart break on Catelynn's face while she hugged Carly. IMO, Teresa sees that look and has a similar response, too. THAT is one of the major reasons why, IMO, Teresa (& therefore, Brandon) hasn't closed the adoption. 

 

Also, Frenchie from Rock of Love was on this episode? I usually don't watch but just read here but I DVR episodes just in case I need to watch something important like Ryan getting married high AF. I'm going to have to watch this episode because yesssss this is one step closer to my ultimate dream of some kind of vh1 2000s CelebReality shows-TM crossover show!  I really wish some of the girls from RoL and Flavor of Love would school the TM girls on life (not Frenchie, as she's too "nice," I mean girls like New York, Heather & selected others from RoL, Saaphyri, Buckwild, etc.)

Oh my gosh I love that idea!  Or maybe we can have a combination Charm School Tough Love show where the Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 girls get taught why they are so unlikable and how to fix it. 

[citychic]

13 hours ago, mamadrama said:

A similar thing happened to me last year and I had the same reaction (probably because I, too, and am only child and always wanted a sibling). Some random guy got on Facebook on a page for our local historical society and posted a picture of a man. "Do you know this man? I am 35 and this is the only picture I have of my dad. I don't know where he lives or what his name is but my mother says his family is from that area." Guess whose dad it also turned out to be? He'd grown up always wanting a sister, I'd grown up always wanting a brother. We were thrilled to find each other. (And our relationship is totally separate from what we have with our parents.) 

 

I honestly don't see the harm in curtailing visits with everyone, but still keeping them all updated on each other's lives, until Carly is 18, MTV stops filming, Cate is healthier, etc. 

** (I don't know if you all are interested but my kids-ages 9 and 5- actually made a 20-minute documentary about our meeting and finding each other for the first time. The kids put it together, entered it into a film festival and WON "audience favorite" and "child movie". We were shocked as hell. It's called "Facebook Brother" and it's out there in internet world, including You Tube, for free if you want to see it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvFsJgSYrAU )

That was delightful to watch, thank you so much for sharing!! 

[ReadMeLattice]

On 1/3/2018 at 9:52 PM, TeenMomAngerMgmt said:

Also I don’t blame her one iota for not wanting to be around the good Dr. David. He’s creepy and pushy and I bet he doesn’t curb that behavior around Sophia. He was out of line from day one and has never apologized nor seen an issue with what he did the very first time he met Farrah. You don’t have to be a Farrah stan to see that he is inappropriate. I get kinda sick of people (not here, but on other TM fan communities) that justify or otherwise not comment negatively about the guy and what he did because “He put her in her place” and “He doesn’t take her attitude”. And that perspective is shared with full throated support by other women (which just boggles my mind). Both Farrah and David can be assholes. She can be a petty dictator and he can be handsy and disrespect her boundaries. Both these things can happen simultaneously. 

Also his hair and beard are stupid and he looks like he’s auditioning for a Loverboy tribute band. 

Yeah, I agree. I'm pretty sure he's not the person to "put her in her place," anyway. Who the hell is he? He's her mom's creepy, boundary-crossing husband who has been disrespectful (as you say) from day one. I don't care HOW I acted or how much I needed reprimanding (which Farrah definitely does in many cases, don't get me wrong), if some random dude waltzed in, dated my mom, and subsequently vacillated between berating me and ignoring me as my mom's daughter while also being clearly attracted to me and trying to touch me, I'd be a bitch to him too. He's not her dad, he's not even her stepdad, and he acts like a guy trying to date her/salivating over her half the time and some weird authority figure the other half. 

Edited January 5, 2018 by Lm2162

[ReadMeLattice]

On 1/4/2018 at 2:55 AM, SPLAIN said:

As an adopted child I have no cares whatsoever to ever meet or know anything more about my bio parents. I have pointed this out numerous times throughout the seasons. I know how I feel and I also know how I feel doesn't represent how other adopted children feel, but I truly feel there are more adopted children who feel like I do. I feel shows such as Dr. Phil, 20/20, and this mess on MTV concerning C&T tends to put a negative spotlight on adoption, open adoption, and how adopted children tend to have negative feelings about themselves and their adopted parents. 

A lot of people (not you personally) assume adopted children have this desire to know about their heritage, their bio family, and that they suffer somehow from being an adopted child. I can't express how many times I have been asked by people if I ever want to search my "real" family.  The people who gave me up are not my family. The people who raised me, cared for me, and loved me are my family. My family had imperfections just like many other families. I feel sometimes adopted children who come from troubled families tend to seek out their birth parents hoping to find whatever happiness they feel they are not receiving from their home environment. Of course, there are other adopted children who are just curious and want to know about their family blood line.

I certainly cannot compare my experience as an adopted child to C&T's case because I never was part of an open adoption. However, my adoption was never legally finalized. My birth mother could have easily come around at any time and claimed me, especially since her name is on my birth certificate. I knew this since I was 9 years old.

I do think this particular case is touchy for all involved, mainly Carly. I wish B&T would reduce visits or cease visitation altogether. They could do so without commenting negatively about C&T to Carly. When Carly is of adult age, she can decide if she wants to resume any sort of relationship with C&T.  If there isn't a therapist involved, I think it would help greatly if B&T would acquire one to assist Carly.  A dose of reality from this fantasy C&T have built in their minds needs to be dealt with accordingly. C&T won't come to that realization on their own. I firmly believe it will have to come from B&T with assistance from a professional (not Dawn) to gently pull the plug on visits.

Thanks for sharing your experience. One of my closest friends growing up was adopted. She was Indian and her parents were white, so she was clearly not their bio child. When we were preteens she suddenly started saying she wanted to meet her bio parents in India. After a while it came out that some relative had referenced her bio parents and called them her "parents" and it had confused her. Her curiosity faded over time and she stopped caring about them much at all. I bet things like that happen a lot.

I'm definitely not at all saying that there aren't many adopted kids who DO want to meet their bio parents...I just wonder how often it is planted in their heads by society and not an organic wish. I truly think that at this point, Carly just shouldn't have any contact with C&T. Their disrespect is extremely flagrant and they, I assume, will try to cross even more boundaries as she gets older. They are patently inappropriate.

[ghoulina]

17 hours ago, SimonSeymour said:

I am also adopted and I 100% agree with you. I have no interest in finding or meeting my birth parents and never have. 

 

However, when my state (Illinois) opened up previously closed adoption records several years ago, I requested a copy of my original birth certificate, just to confirm that what my parents told me was accurate (it was). Eight months later I got a letter in the mail from the department of health informing me that another adopted child with my same birth parents also requested her original birth certificate and if I wanted her info, I could have it, if she also agreed. She did, and so did I. 

It turned out that she lived THREE BLOCKS away from me! We agreed to meet and five years later, I have a new best friend who is also my biological sister a year and a half younger than me, and whom I talk to every day. This experience has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me, other than being adopted by my parents in the first place. :)

But, neither of us have any interest in meeting our birth parents. I felt differently about meeting her, I guess mostly because I had always wanted a sibling (I am an only child), and we were both in the exact same situation. 

 

16 hours ago, mamadrama said:

A similar thing happened to me last year and I had the same reaction (probably because I, too, and am only child and always wanted a sibling). Some random guy got on Facebook on a page for our local historical society and posted a picture of a man. "Do you know this man? I am 35 and this is the only picture I have of my dad. I don't know where he lives or what his name is but my mother says his family is from that area." Guess whose dad it also turned out to be? He'd grown up always wanting a sister, I'd grown up always wanting a brother. We were thrilled to find each other. (And our relationship is totally separate from what we have with our parents.) 

 

I honestly don't see the harm in curtailing visits with everyone, but still keeping them all updated on each other's lives, until Carly is 18, MTV stops filming, Cate is healthier, etc. 

** (I don't know if you all are interested but my kids-ages 9 and 5- actually made a 20-minute documentary about our meeting and finding each other for the first time. The kids put it together, entered it into a film festival and WON "audience favorite" and "child movie". We were shocked as hell. It's called "Facebook Brother" and it's out there in internet world, including You Tube, for free if you want to see it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvFsJgSYrAU )

Now see, these are AMAZING stories. I'd watch that shit, before tuning into Tyler and Catelynn's horrible attempts at reuniting people. 

[CandysWrapRoom]

16 hours ago, mamadrama said:

The kids put it together, entered it into a film festival and WON "audience favorite" and "child movie". We were shocked as hell. It's called "Facebook Brother" and it's out there in internet world, including You Tube, for free if you want to see it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvFsJgSYrAU )

This is amazing!

[GreatKazu]

@mamadrama I love that video you posted! Thank you for sharing.?

[SimonSeymour]

Spoiler

 

@MAMADRAMA. I just watched the video. Very cool! My name is also Rebecca. ?

 

eta: Sorry, I can’t figure out how to delete the spoiler box. 

• Spoiler

  •  

Edited January 6, 2018 by SimonSeymour

[SPLAIN]

5 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

Thanks for sharing your experience. One of my closest friends growing up was adopted. She was Indian and her parents were white, so she was clearly not their bio child. When we were preteens she suddenly started saying she wanted to meet her bio parents in India. After a while it came out that some relative had referenced her bio parents and called them her "parents" and it had confused her. Her curiosity faded over time and she stopped caring about them much at all. I bet things like that happen a lot.

I'm definitely not at all saying that there aren't many adopted kids who DO want to meet their bio parents...I just wonder how often it is planted in their heads by society and not an organic wish. I truly think that at this point, Carly just shouldn't have any contact with C&T. Their disrespect is extremely flagrant and they, I assume, will try to cross even more boundaries as she gets older. They are patently inappropriate.

Thank you for your kind words. I must say, I know you are a young mother, but you sure do have a lot of knowledge about various topics we discuss here. It goes to show that age doesn't always reflect how much we know or should know. You are very astute.  : )

I wholeheartedly agree about your observation regarding seeds being planted and feelings not being organic. I think that definitely plays a major part in why some adoptees seek out their bio families.

I think I mentioned this before, but I will repost it. My sister's bio mother sought her out. My sister was apprehensive about meeting her as she didn't want to hurt our father's feelings. Our mother had already passed away. My sister used the opportunity to inquire about why she was given up for adoption and were the children her bio mother had a few years later conceived by the same father. Her bio mother informed her she was related to her children through her, but not by the same father. When my sister pressed for more information, her bio mother didn't divulge the information. My sister felt like her mother was withholding something. I informed my sister she might have been the product of rape and it was a traumatic event for her bio mother to speak about. My sister closed off that relationship after two years. Her bio mother requested to see her before she passed away from cancer. My sister didn't go. She wasn't happy having made that connection.

Carly has the benefit of her adoption being televised. She can receive all of her information through footage and through her parents along with C&T.  I hope Carly realizes she dodged a bullet. She can have a relationship with Nova, but I think as you pointed out, the feelings may not be organic. It might feel forced to her only because C&T are pushing the relationship.

Edited January 6, 2018 by SPLAIN

[Soobs]

A little late to the show this week as everyone is on break and I don't want them to know I watch this show!

Tyler's whole shoulda, would, coulda rant about how they couldn't keep Carly was sad and I was hoping that the adoption counselor would gently point out to him that part of growing up is accepting the fact that you play the hand you're dealt not endlessly lamenting the hand you wish you had been dealt. But, that counselor lady is actually pretty worthless as a counselor.

[Caracoa1]

Having Cate and Tyler be the face of open adoption has backfired on Bethany.  Teen Mom  has blown up way bigger in popularity than anyone could have predicted.  Cate and Tyler can't just be ignored....they have too large of an idiot fan base across America....what Dawn is doing now with these two is "Damage Control". I do wonder though....when the cameras are gone is she brutally honest with these two premadonnas?