Season 5 Discussion

[Granny58]

1 hour ago, Bryce Lynch said:

I think their purity culture is actually a positive thing, though I do see how it could cause some people to rush into marriages.  

I have a Mormon friend whose children go or have gone to BYU and she said, definitely...it's marry for sex.  I'm not Mormon, but I am a very fundamental Christian (in the classic sense described earlier), and both she and I can see the value in waiting.  On the other hand, I can also see the danger in sex being the motivation to marry.   It's really difficult to have a good answer to this. 

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I looked it up--its near the Vermont border, small town of about 13,000 people, doesn't seem to be near any cities of any size. Good luck, David.

David will be expected to earn his keep humping speakers and lugging gear for the family band. No time off for roadies!

 

Yes, and Claremont is in the news recently nationwide because in August yes 2017 a 8yo bi-racial boy was lynched, hanging from a rope from a tree (the 8yo victim says intentional, the other teen boys call it an accident). Noose around his neck, pushed off a picnic table to hang he was hospitalized with serious injuries.  It was not pursued very aggressively at first by the Claremont police (many say) and the NH AG stepped in with investigation in September. There were many prayer vigils in the town over it, and it was a national story I wonder if Evelyn's family and church participated.  Welcome to Claremont. 

He will be hauling speakers and gear for the family at -30 below zero in snowdrifts! 

[CoachWristletJen]

2 hours ago, Granny58 said:

LOL.

Don't feel bad.  You've posted tons of comments and it's obvious that you are not a meanie!  It was a joke, that's all.  

Thank you. 

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, Sprockets said:

I imported mine from England, but since his employer was requesting his presence in the US it was a little different.  They still held his passport for a while during the application process.  And it was still a gruelling ordeal.  

I imported mine from England through the K-1. We met over there in grad school, lived together for 2 years, and had a child before starting the process, but the process was still the same. There was a 6 month period in which he couldn't travel, but they didn't take his passport. It was just understood that if he traveled during that time, he might be held up at immigrations and not allowed back in. These days all 4 of us have dual citizenship to make things easier in case we ever want to move

back.

 

It still frustrates me that these people are using the 90 days as a getting to know you period. That isn't what they are for.

[Pepper Mostly]

22 minutes ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Yes, and Claremont is in the news recently nationwide because in August yes 2017 a 8yo bi-racial boy was lynched, hanging from a rope from a tree (the 8yo victim says intentional, the other teen boys call it an accident). Noose around his neck, pushed off a picnic table to hang he was hospitalized with serious injuries.  It was not pursued very aggressively at first by the Claremont police (many say) and the NH AG stepped in with investigation in September. There were many prayer vigils in the town over it, and it was a national story I wonder if Evelyn's family and church participated.  Welcome to Claremont. 

 

Oh my god I knew it was pinging in my head for some reason! I'm from the Boston area and that story has been all over the news. Not surprising, sadly.

[CourtneyCourt]

13 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Aika might be more transparent than Anifsa, she brings up the K-1 and even reminds him that he is her provider.

How weird was it that the showed the Logan Airport sign and than blurred it in the middle of the shot when Evelyn picked up David.

David is straight up delusional if he thinks she is movingf away from her family.

I weirdly noticed that too. Wonder why?

[AZChristian]

1 minute ago, CourtneyCourt said:

I weirdly noticed that too. Wonder why?

Maybe the second sign specified airline names . . . TLC wouldn't do free advertising, and the airlines wouldn't pay for it????  I didn't see the sign, so I'm just speculating.

[SmashleyMcSlayin]

35 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

I have a Mormon friend whose children go or have gone to BYU and she said, definitely...it's marry for sex.  I'm not Mormon, but I am a very fundamental Christian (in the classic sense described earlier), and both she and I can see the value in waiting.  On the other hand, I can also see the danger in sex being the motivation to marry.   It's really difficult to have a good answer to this. 

I just think it’s a really dangerous mindset. In Evelyn’s situation, she went to Europe specifically to meet David, so I think she probably would’ve proceeded with the k1 process, sex or no sex, because she’s naive and thinks he’s her soulmate.

I too think there’s value in teaching young people to wait until they’re mature enough to have sex, but I think pushing them to wait until they’re married is unrealistic. After I broke my engagement to the king of the douches, I decided I wasn’t waiting anymore because I had no idea when I’d get married and didn’t want to put myself in the same position again of having my judgment compromised about a potential marriage. I didn’t get married until I was 28 and was glad I didn’t feel in a rush anymore. I admit that sex is a dumb thing to rush into a marriage for, but well, young people can be dumb. I sure was. Better to teach them to be safe and smart about sex.

[balisticnikki]

16 hours ago, PityFree said:

 Speaking of hair I’m kind of annoyed that he doesn’t seem like Molly is taking proper care of her youngest child’s hair.   Super curly hair like that needs a lot of moisture and it’s fragile.  My niece is biracial has the same kind of hair.  My sister has to be very careful how she styles it and what products she uses on it. Molly makes me sad because her youngest daughter is such a beautiful little girl and she deserves better. 

I disagree! I was commending Molly (in my mind) on the little girl's hair looking beautiful. Both girls' have gorgeous, well-maintained hair and it seems like Molly went out of her way to learn to take care of their hair, which is very different from her own, and also different from each other. She scored major points with me bc of that.

 

9 hours ago, escapetoreality said:

Why does family Molly have a large ugly pickup truck? 

Seems like it was Olivia's. But then again, Molly's brother lives there, so it could be his. Was it ugly (beyond just being a pick up truck)? A lot of ppl love them, even those living in suburban and urban areas. IDK why exactly, but they do.

7 hours ago, Sprockets said:

Why is Evelyn such a shit driver, and why does her father think it's hilarious?  Just how high on Jesus is this family?  

And I could have done without the long explanation of why she has had neither.  Virginity is a non-subject.  

I was getting major Mr. Magoo vibes from her! lol

[Normades]

Did anyone else notice that Molly's daughter said that Molly does this kind of thing all the time?  That's so sad for her girls.  Plus I agree with her father about setting a terrible example by bringing in an almost complete stranger and sleeping with him under the same roof.  Horrible parenting!  I find Molly horribly narcissistic to almost Vicki Gunvalson (RHOC) proportions.  She loves all attention and seems to especially love the negative attention.  She was eating it up that her parents didn't support the relationship and just LOVED her daughter's reaction.  I also notice that although her parents have a southern accent, it's not as emphasized as Molly's.  Also note that Olivia has no accent.  I have southern family and Molly seems to be playing up her accent for even more attention.   I also find Luis creepy and I don't see this ending well.  

[ChiCricket]

OMGosh..I never thought they'd find someone as annoying as Danielle, but they have succeeded with Molly. I wanted to reach through the tv and slap that babyish giggle-cry right out of her mouth. She actually even "booped" Luis on his nose at one point.. Ugh.

I feel SO sorry for her daughters.

[balisticnikki]

28 minutes ago, Normades said:

Did anyone else notice that Molly's daughter said that Molly does this kind of thing all the time?  That's so sad for her girls.  Plus I agree with her father about setting a terrible example by bringing in an almost complete stranger and sleeping with him under the same roof.  Horrible parenting!  I find Molly horribly narcissistic to almost Vicki Gunvalson (RHOC) proportions.  She loves all attention and seems to especially love the negative attention.  She was eating it up that her parents didn't support the relationship and just LOVED her daughter's reaction.  I also notice that although her parents have a southern accent, it's not as emphasized as Molly's.  Also note that Olivia has no accent.  I have southern family and Molly seems to be playing up her accent for even more attention.   I also find Luis creepy and I don't see this ending well.  

I agree w/ your every point.

I think that exaggerated accent was part of her Double Divas persona - two good ol' country gals spreadin' southern charm all around, one bosom at a tahhm (time)....

Edited October 23, 2017 by balisticnikki

[Bellalisa]

I think Evelyn will put up with whatever AndRRRe asks of her because he is way hotter than any guy she could get in the USA. He is hotter and more exotic. So if he wants her to be submissive, she will do it in order to not lose him. I did not get the feeling that she likes 50 shades of gray or was looking for a man to dominate her. It is just she sees that he is like this, as she gets to know him better, and she admitted she will do what he says to keep him (happy). She really is the ugly duckling out of the 3 sisters. She is really infatuated with this guy. I do remember when I was ages 19-23 I spent a lot of time in Europe and I had a lot of summer romances. In my head it was so so serious and maybe we could get married. But in the men's heads it was just a summer fling. I try to keep this is mind when watching this and the Before the 90 Days. These girls are so young and infatuated and think it's LOVE. I had one Italian guy I kept writing to him when I got home and he never answered me. Finally after 6 months I got a letter it was the happiest day of my life, I still have the letter. Lol. Another guy I was crying the last day we would see each other and he said CHE SCEMA sei which means "what a fool you are being" HA!

[biakbiak]

59 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Maybe the second sign specified airline names . . . TLC wouldn't do free advertising, and the airlines wouldn't pay for it????  I didn't see the sign, so I'm just speculating.

No it was the same sign, you literally saw the blur descend and there were no advertising it was the exit sign from customs.

[Desert Rat]

3 hours ago, SmashleyMcSlayin said:

I don’t get the impression that she wants or enjoys being submissive but rather that she is so obsessed with this guy that she’ll do anything to be with him. She’s one of these naive, insecure young girls who is desperate to be in a relationship, and Andrrrei being a sexy mysterious (in her mind) European increases his appeal and her desperation. He could probably start doing all kinds of shitty abusive things and she’d stay with him.

Nothing about Elizabeth reads submissive.  Controlling bitch, yes; submissive, no.  

[Madding crowd]

 I don't feel sorry for Azan for having to date a fat girl. No one is forcing him or forced him to contact her, date her or get engaged to her. And it's easy to be judgmental about people's looks but I dont feel comfortable with comparing her to animals or saying nasty stuff about her weight. Her personality yes. I am torn about her parenting skills. Some of what I see seems normal: When my son was little, he was very attached to me and often started crying if he thought I was leaving the room. I rarely left him, he was just like that. I also know many people whose parents spend a lot of time with their infants and toddlers and some of these are wealthy, and yes thin women. 

I also wonder what types of conversation people like David and Evelyn have had. If he is interested in moving, wouldn't they discuss this before he came over? There has to be more to some of this beyond just getting a green card. I agree Evelyn seems smug and thinks she will be somehow in charge of what she and David do as a couple. 

These guys with the Filipino girls I dont quite understand. However, the women do campaign for boyfriends on these web sites, and they are likely to end up with lonely guys who dont date much. Out of this whole mess, the only one I feel sorry for is Karine, because she may have limited options and I believe Paul misrepresented himself to her. 

Then there is Molly. I dont have a problem with her weight but she is not that attractive, is much older than Luis and I just cant imagine him being interested in her. But, no one is forcing him to date her so the only real losers are her daughters. 

[orangeiguana]

I can see that Molly's daughter Olivia is very smart and independent. I would have suggested she contact CPS about getting her out of the house, but she's either almost 18 or IS 18, so that would not be expeditious. I urge her, if she's reading this, to find a classmate's parents or relative who can give her a place to stay...finish high school, get a retail job, and start taking community college classes one at a time. You can do it, Olivia, but not with that albatross of a "mother" weighing you down.

[mamadrama]

A few thoughts...

People marry for all sorts of reasons. I know straight men who have married gay women and had "open" relationships. I know elderly folks who have married into their early 90s for the companionship and friendship. I know several middle-aged men who have sought wives from the Phillipines. In fact, a first cousin did it and he was sponsored by a close family member (not me, but close). Although those marriages are weird to me, and not based on love at all in the beginning, many of them seem to work. My cousin's been married to his foreign bride for 20+ years now, they have several kids, and they seem to be as happy as anyone else. So, you know, more power to them. I think they key is having a good understanding of expectations before the marriage takes place. Romantic love can be fleeting but a marriage built on mutual respect and friendship can often turn into something that's deep and rewarding for both-though both parties must be honest about intentions. 

With that being said...Good God and gravy, these people annoy the everlasting fuck out of me. 

I honestly want to slap that smug smile off Evelyn's face. That pious smugness is, to me, almost as bad as Danielle's mess. I don't know David well enough to feel sorry for him yet but the fact that the dude didn't discuss things like MOVING with her before he arrived makes me think he's just as dumb as her. 

Elizabeth...I canNOT look away from her face. I have never seen a face photograph so differently from how it appears in real life. Really, it's like a trainwreck to me. Every time they show a picture of her I have to rewind, pause, and stare at the TV. 

I am just kind of assuming that Luis is a sanky panky at this point. As long as Molly gets her some good lovin' and doesn't lose much in the process (like a lot of money, her business reputation, or something worse with her girls) then I don't have a problem with it. You go, girl. 

If they can't keep up with May then they are going to have to bite the bullet and put the leash on her. 

Father Evelyn is kinda hot. If he wasn't married, and I wasn't married, and he wasn't a fundamentalist...yeah, I'd hit that. 

[3girlsforus]

30 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

 I don't feel sorry for Azan for having to date a fat girl. No one is forcing him or forced him to contact her, date her or get engaged to her. And it's easy to be judgmental about people's looks but I dont feel comfortable with comparing her to animals or saying nasty stuff about her weight. Her personality yes. I am torn about her parenting skills. Some of what I see seems normal: When my son was little, he was very attached to me and often started crying if he thought I was leaving the room. I rarely left him, he was just like that. I also know many people whose parents spend a lot of time with their infants and toddlers and some of these are wealthy, and yes thin women. 

I also wonder what types of conversation people like David and Evelyn have had. If he is interested in moving, wouldn't they discuss this before he came over? There has to be more to some of this beyond just getting a green card. I agree Evelyn seems smug and thinks she will be somehow in charge of what she and David do as a couple. 

These guys with the Filipino girls I dont quite understand. However, the women do campaign for boyfriends on these web sites, and they are likely to end up with lonely guys who dont date much. Out of this whole mess, the only one I feel sorry for is Karine, because she may have limited options and I believe Paul misrepresented himself to her. 

Then there is Molly. I dont have a problem with her weight but she is not that attractive, is much older than Luis and I just cant imagine him being interested in her. But, no one is forcing him to date her so the only real losers are her daughters. 

I couldn't agree with this more. No one is clubbing these people over the head and dragging them across the ocean. They are equally guilty of bad behavior and moronic decisions. If Azan doesn't want to date/marry an overweight woman, then he shouldn't marry Nicole. 

And I had the exact same question about David and Evelyn. If living somewhere warmer and with a larger population was important to him, then he should have discussed that with her well before moving to another country to marry her. Even if Evelyn didn't describe where she lives, he has access to google and could have found out it's cold. If it mattered to him, then he shouldn't have come. Certainly Evelyn is a smug and obnoxious person but David didn't have to join her insanity.

I have no words for how horrible Molly is being to her daughter. I don't care if the guy is from another country or up the street. You do NOT move him into the house after a couple of months and expect your daughter to be ok with it. If you are a single parent and date, you ease your children into getting to know a significant other. And even if you take all the "right" steps, if your child is having that much trouble with it, you put the relationship on hold. Her daughter doesn't come across as a spoiled kid who is just whining because her mom isn't devoting every second to her. She is a neglected child who has had it with her mother's crap. 

6 minutes ago, orangeiguana said:

I can see that Molly's daughter Olivia is very smart and independent. I would have suggested she contact CPS about getting her out of the house, but she's either almost 18 or IS 18, so that would not be expeditious. I urge her, if she's reading this, to find a classmate's parents or relative who can give her a place to stay...finish high school, get a retail job, and start taking community college classes one at a time. You can do it, Olivia, but not with that albatross of a "mother" weighing you down.

I thought about that too but I wonder if she's worried about leaving her sister.

[orangeiguana]

6 minutes ago, 3girlsforus said:

I thought about that too but I wonder if she's worried about leaving her sister.

Not her responsibility. She can best help the half-sister by getting her own life going.

[pollywood]

15 hours ago, biakbiak said:

Aika might be more transparent than Anifsa, she brings up the K-1 and even reminds him that he is her provider.

How weird was it that the showed the Logan Airport sign and than blurred it in the middle of the shot when Evelyn picked up David.

David is straight up delusional if he thinks she is movingf away from her family.

My thoughts exactly! And I lived in Phoenix/Chandler for years. That poor Filipino girl.

[balisticnikki]

23 minutes ago, orangeiguana said:

I can see that Molly's daughter Olivia is very smart and independent. I would have suggested she contact CPS about getting her out of the house, but she's either almost 18 or IS 18, so that would not be expeditious. I urge her, if she's reading this, to find a classmate's parents or relative who can give her a place to stay...finish high school, get a retail job, and start taking community college classes one at a time. You can do it, Olivia, but not with that albatross of a "mother" weighing you down.

I think this is a bit much. It's clear Molly adores her girls (she even named the store after them). Life as a single mother is not easy. Yes, she is being irresponsible. And yes, Olivia is pissed off w/ her. But there's no evidence at all that Molly has neglected or abused her kids, and your post implies that. Some of Olivia's annoyance is that teenage thing. No one ever said she moved multiple men into their home (I know you didn't say that but it has been said upthread). I got the impression that Olivia is mad that Molly goes gaga over these bumbitch men who don't stick around. It's irresponsible but hardly grounds for calling CPS. There are plenty of women like this out here and they love and provide for their kids. Molly may not be setting a good example with men, but she otherwise seems like a nice but lonely woman.

[Bryce Lynch]

13 minutes ago, balisticnikki said:

I think this is a bit much. It's clear Molly adores her girls (she even named the store after them). Life as a single mother is not easy. Yes, she is being irresponsible. And yes, Olivia is pissed off w/ her. But there's no evidence at all that Molly has neglected or abused her kids, and your post implies that. Some of Olivia's annoyance is that teenage thing. No one ever said she moved multiple men into their home (I know you didn't say that but it has been said upthread). I got the impression that Olivia is mad that Molly goes gaga over these bumbitch men who don't stick around. It's irresponsible but hardly grounds for calling CPS. There are plenty of women like this out here and they love and provide for their kids. Molly may not be setting a good example with men, but she otherwise seems like a nice but lonely woman.

I agree, unless Luis starts abusing her or her little sister in some way, there are no grounds to call CPS.  Having your Mom bring some dodgy younger man into your home SUCKS, so I totally feel for Olivia, but it is not, in and of itself, child abuse or neglect, at least not in the legal sense, where the government should get involved.  

I also agree that Molly can love her daughters and still make idiotic decisions when it come to men.  That said, I don't think she has the right to say "I always put my girls first.".  She clearly is not doing that in this case.  That doesn't make her a horrible person, as all parents sometimes put themselves first, to some extent or another, and doing so is not always wrong. (though in this case I think it is).

Edited October 23, 2017 by Bryce Lynch

[Kangatush]

3 hours ago, gunderda said:

She mentioned she wasn't comfortable driving in large cities.  I don't blame her.  I moved to our "big city" when I was 18/19 (for college) and I am now 34 and finally became comfortable driving in our downtown area maybe 5 years ago. 

I was wondering the same thing after he mentioned it.... 

Ahhh it was logan airport???? I'm surprised Dad even let her drive FROM the airport. 

I spent 2 nights.  One when flying into Logan so my family and I could drive up for coastal Maine vacation and then on my return flight home. The night of flying in we spent 'downtown(?)' Boston and the only time I will return to boston is if we are with someone who can drive that traffic or taking a taxi.  My dad drove and it gave me SO much anxiety trying to get in and out of that area.  But now that I think about it... driving TO the airport from being on the outside of town wasn't so bad. But we still have a stressful situation getting from our hotel to the five guys about a mile away for dinner the night before.

I've done a lot of Boston driving.  Surface roads are a new circle of hell.  The highways to and from Logan are actually super easy and clear to follow.  But since Father Evelyn parked really far from the convenient lot right outside International Arrivals, maybe he needs to do some more city driving too.  

 

And they keep talking about how HE was 19 when he got married.  How old was Mrs. Partridge?  

 

I have a problem with how many televised groups touting abstinence before marriage act like simply being near each other will automatically lead couples to merge fun bits.  I understand not hanging out alone together near soft furnishings, but being in the same building shouldn't be a problem.  I did not wait for marriage, and yet I can somehow manage to contain myself, even if I'm really attracted to someone.

[Kangatush]

55 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

A few thoughts...

People marry for all sorts of reasons. I know straight men who have married gay women and had "open" relationships. I know elderly folks who have married into their early 90s for the companionship and friendship. I know several middle-aged men who have sought wives from the Phillipines. In fact, a first cousin did it and he was sponsored by a close family member (not me, but close). Although those marriages are weird to me, and not based on love at all in the beginning, many of them seem to work. My cousin's been married to his foreign bride for 20+ years now, they have several kids, and they seem to be as happy as anyone else. So, you know, more power to them. I think they key is having a good understanding of expectations before the marriage takes place. Romantic love can be fleeting but a marriage built on mutual respect and friendship can often turn into something that's deep and rewarding for both-though both parties must be honest about intentions. 

With that being said...Good God and gravy, these people annoy the everlasting fuck out of me. 

Agreed.  As long as everyone is on the same page, great things can happen.  I think about Matt and Alla from last season.  She was clear that she wanted a sane, stable partner, and love wasn't a requirement before marriage.  But she was very clear and honest about it from day one, and it seems to be working out well for them.

Edited October 23, 2017 by Kangatush

[bethster2000]

3 hours ago, balisticnikki said:

Just how high on Jesus is this family?  

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL...may I suggest that this be used as the name of the thread?  ;-)

[3girlsforus]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

 

I am just kind of assuming that Luis is a sanky panky at this point. As long as Molly gets her some good lovin' and doesn't lose much in the process (like a lot of money, her business reputation, or something worse with her girls) then I don't have a problem with it. You go, girl. 

 

I’m sorry but you don’t get to ‘you go, girl’ when there are children involved. If she wants some boy toy on the side then whatever. But she’s bringing this person into her home as a family member. Her kids are bound to get hurt. 

[annewithaneee]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

People marry for all sorts of reasons. I know straight men who have married gay women and had "open" relationships. I know elderly folks who have married into their early 90s for the companionship and friendship. I know several middle-aged men who have sought wives from the Phillipines. In fact, a first cousin did it and he was sponsored by a close family member (not me, but close). Although those marriages are weird to me, and not based on love at all in the beginning, many of them seem to work. My cousin's been married to his foreign bride for 20+ years now, they have several kids, and they seem to be as happy as anyone else. So, you know, more power to them. I think they key is having a good understanding of expectations before the marriage takes place. Romantic love can be fleeting but a marriage built on mutual respect and friendship can often turn into something that's deep and rewarding for both-though both parties must be honest about intentions. 

This is really well said, totally agree with all of it.

One of the many things that 90 Day Fiance has disappointed me with is they completely ignore any potential cause for concern other than "your foreign bride/groom is only here to scam you and run off with your money/green card". Nobody's ever worried about isolation, control, abuse. To me, that's the big danger of these sorts of arrangements (especially bringing over near-strangers instead of using the K1 more as it's intended). Maybe it's because we're following the POV of the American, but it blows my mind that the big scary danger here is gold-digging and visa-seeking rather than, y'know, danger. 

That's always been what's put me off about men seeking wives through foreign marriage broker services and sites. I'm all for people building whichever kind of marriage and family suits them, and it doesn't have to start with one true love or anything. But...any true crime aficionado knows how badly these things can go. All relationships are at risk of a power imbalance, but when one spouse is financially supporting your family back home, you can't work, you don't know anyone outside of their family/friends, you may not speak the language that well...it's scary stuff. Far scarier than heartbreak over getting scammed, imo, and it grosses me out that that has been and probably will always be 90 Days' big bad. 

[Sprockets]

2 hours ago, orangeiguana said:

I would have suggested she contact CPS about getting her out of the house, but she's either almost 18 or IS 18, so that would not be expeditious.

On what basis would CPS remove her, even if she were younger?  Has any abuse actually happened?  

4 minutes ago, annewithaneee said:

One of the many things that 90 Day Fiance has disappointed me with is they completely ignore any potential cause for concern other than "your foreign bride/groom is only here to scam you and run off with your money/green card". Nobody's ever worried about isolation, control, abuse.

I totally agree.  Most actual scammers are going to be sent back, sooner or later.  

[Drogo]

Molly's voice... she's Patti Mayonnaise.

I'll never be able to unhear this.

[ChiCricket]

15 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Molly's voice... she's Patti Mayonnaise.

I'll never be able to unhear this.

 

Maybe it's just me, but the voice wasn't (fake) southern (and babyish) enough to me to sound like Molly. :)

Edited October 23, 2017 by ChiCricket

[Pepper Mostly]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

A few thoughts...

People marry for all sorts of reasons. I know straight men who have married gay women and had "open" relationships. I know elderly folks who have married into their early 90s for the companionship and friendship. I know several middle-aged men who have sought wives from the Phillipines. In fact, a first cousin did it and he was sponsored by a close family member (not me, but close). Although those marriages are weird to me, and not based on love at all in the beginning, many of them seem to work. My cousin's been married to his foreign bride for 20+ years now, they have several kids, and they seem to be as happy as anyone else. So, you know, more power to them. I think they key is having a good understanding of expectations before the marriage takes place. Romantic love can be fleeting but a marriage built on mutual respect and friendship can often turn into something that's deep and rewarding for both-though both parties must be honest about intentions. 

With that being said...Good God and gravy, these people annoy the everlasting fuck out of me. 

I honestly want to slap that smug smile off Evelyn's face. That pious smugness is, to me, almost as bad as Danielle's mess. I don't know David well enough to feel sorry for him yet but the fact that the dude didn't discuss things like MOVING with her before he arrived makes me think he's just as dumb as her. 

Elizabeth...I canNOT look away from her face. I have never seen a face photograph so differently from how it appears in real life. Really, it's like a trainwreck to me. Every time they show a picture of her I have to rewind, pause, and stare at the TV. 

I am just kind of assuming that Luis is a sanky panky at this point. As long as Molly gets her some good lovin' and doesn't lose much in the process (like a lot of money, her business reputation, or something worse with her girls) then I don't have a problem with it. You go, girl. 

If they can't keep up with May then they are going to have to bite the bullet and put the leash on her. 

Father Evelyn is kinda hot. If he wasn't married, and I wasn't married, and he wasn't a fundamentalist...yeah, I'd hit that. 

@mamadrama I am bowing down. I cosign every word. Luis is so obviously sanky panky, no wonder Molly's daughter's eyes are rolling out of her head. Its like Molly is the teenager and her daughter is the mother. She acts like a giddy school girl. But hey. If she and Luis can have a few good years together, more power to her. I think Molly is dumb to bring a guy into her home with young girls, but I don't think Luis is a predator, and I don't think he's stupid enough to mess up his meal ticket by fouling the family nest. 

I think Elizabeth is...titillated, maybe? by the challenge of becoming a submissive wife for her hot foreign slab o' man hubby to be. Intrigued? I don't mean titillated in a 50 Shades way, necessarily. More like trying on a coat to see of she likes it. 

Evelyn is dangling herself in front of David like a pretty, pretty toy. She is leaving no stone unturned in ensuring he'll be rarin' to go on the wedding night. 

[Nowhere]

8 hours ago, Kangatush said:

That's the problem with gauges though, once you've gone there, you have them forever, unless you have surgery to close the holes.

 

8 hours ago, Granny58 said:

I was sitting next to a young lady with piercings and the topic of gauges came up.  She had tried them, but stopped.  However, she did say that if you don't take care of the holes they STINK.  So let's all let that sink in for a while.   

 

7 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

What happens if you get rid of the ear gauges after having them for years?  Do the holes close up, or does it look even worse with the empty holes?  

I'm 40 and my lobes are gauged to size 00 which is as big as you can go without it being permanent. If you don't tear your ear by trying to size up too fast, your earlobes will go back to normal size but it takes a little while. I started using plugs instead of earrings when i was in my mid- thirties. They are very comfortable because they lay flat when I'm sleeping and there's nothing poking me. There are also many styles. Most people don't know my ears are gauged because, most of the time, I use plugs that are solid (doesn't show the hole). They also have styles that look like diamond earrings or other stone. It's not noticeable. As far as the stench, there is none because I wash myself lol. Anything on your body will start to stink if you don't wash. That's the mistake kids make and they wonder why nobody wants to go near their ears. Take your plugs out sometimes and use soap. Also, if you use a natural plug made of real wood or stone, your skin reacts better and doesn't have to be cleaned as much (if your lazy). The guy on the show doesn't have very large gauges. They are probably the size of mine and it can be reversed. I just wanted to clear up some questions. I think plugs are pretty cool. It doesn't detract from his appearance, in my opinion. It's pretty common these days. The fact that he brought it up just means he wanted to make sure everyone noticed how "cool" and "rebellious" he is. Not so, sir. I'm a forty-year-old mother of three and my lobes are gauged. My kids still think I'm as dorky as the next mom lol. I have no street credibility. 

[Sprockets]

12 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

It's really annoying how much fundies believe that the rest of us are watching their every move and basing our own actions on theirs. Basically they're trying to get in good with the pastor. 

Evelyn and her family end up being so focused on sex that it's gruesome.

15 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

1 Thessalonians 5:22 "Abstain from all appearance of evil."

I wonder why anyone would think sex was evil.  

[CoachWristletJen]

3 hours ago, 3girlsforus said:

I thought about that too but I wonder if she's worried about leaving her sister.

I thought about that, too, and that's where a call to Social Services would be beneficial.

Maybe both girls could live with one of the dads, with Molly paying child support? Something could be worked out. Anything, but Molly's plan of forcing this strange man on her two daughters by having him move right into their private living space!

Molly doesn't know much of anything about this guy. Seriously, it's scary! But it's time to do something for herself! When people say, "Now it's time to do something for me." You can guarantee that they've been doing pretty much anything and everything for themselves all along.

[annewithaneee]

3 minutes ago, Sprockets said:

18 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

It's really annoying how much fundies believe that the rest of us are watching their every move and basing our own actions on theirs. Basically they're trying to get in good with the pastor. 

Evelyn and her family end up being so focused on sex that it's gruesome.

That 'gruesome' line is so on the money. I can just picture their family watching the Duggars and thinking "But we're like a cool, ~liberal~ version of that! Call TLC now!!" and it grosses me out. Especially because TLC keeps paying these folks, who make religion and 'family values' their brand, despite having appalling results for a lot of them (hi, Duggars and Willises).

[Arwen Evenstar]

12 hours ago, Sprockets said:

12 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

 

That is entirely plausible.  In which case she needs to improve her driving skills and not put everyone else's lives in jeopardy, especially not when she's crazy high on the idea of futuredick.  

The way Evelyn drives pretty much increases her odds of dying a virgin.

 

11 hours ago, Bryce Lynch said:

As someone said in another thread, there are many "flavors" and while all Fundamentalists have certain beliefs in common, their traditions, practices and especially their quirks vary greatly from group to group and individual to individual.  

Indeed there are.  I lived in Texas most of my life and there are lots of flavors of evangelicals with a very broad belief spectrum.  The Independent Fundamentalist Baptists seem to vary the most, even from congregation to congregation.  The Duggars are more extreme than any IFB congregation or person I ever knew.

[CoachWristletJen]

25 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

 

Sorry but I don't think the word "fundie" is meant to be offensive. It's just abbreviating "fundamentalist". Granted, I am a Jewish atheist so it doesn't bother me in the slightest but people abreve ev these days. It's not the same as the N word. Anyone who says it is, is downplaying the seriousness of racism. That's not ok.

Amen!

I agree 100%!

[Nowhere]

13 minutes ago, Sprockets said:

Evelyn and her family end up being so focused on sex that it's gruesome.

I wonder why anyone would think sex was evil.  

It's "evil" because they aren't married. Many of the Christians I'm seeing on reality shows are  obsessed with sex. I don't watch the Duggers at all but somebody brought them up in this forum and said that the mother has the editors blur out her knee if it shows on film. Because it's so sexy, I'm guessing? And we all might spontaneously orgasm if we see it? 

[3girlsforus]

15 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I thought about that, too, and that's where a call to Social Services would be beneficial.

Maybe both girls could live with one of the dads, with Molly paying child support? Something could be worked out. Anything, but Molly's plan of forcing this strange man on her two daughters by having him move right into their private living space!

Molly doesn't know much of anything about this guy. Seriously, it's scary! But it's time to do something for herself! When people say, "Now it's time to do something for me." You can guarantee that they've been doing pretty much anything and everything for themselves all along.

I agree with those who said CPS wouldn’t touch it because there hasn’t been any abuse, but I would definitely advise Olivia to call her dad, assuming of course they have a relationship. Do we know if they do? Or do we know if the other dad is in the picture? Forgive me if it was mentioned in the show. I get heavy handed with the FF when I get angry at the screen. 

Of course if neither dad is in the picture then it could definitely contribute to Olivia’s anxiety. She’s already been through 2 men leaving and now this man-child is arriving to disrupt yet again. She’s probably predicting yet another child with yet another guy who isn’t there anymore. Even if the dads are in the picture it’s still another man she knows will only temporarily be in her life but she’ll be expected to act like he’s permanent and part of the family 

Edited October 24, 2017 by 3girlsforus

[poeticlicensed]

21 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

I thought about that, too, and that's where a call to Social Services would be beneficial.

Maybe both girls could live with one of the dads, with Molly paying child support? Something could be worked out. Anything, but Molly's plan of forcing this strange man on her two daughters by having him move right into their private living space!

Molly doesn't know much of anything about this guy. Seriously, it's scary! But it's time to do something for herself! When people say, "Now it's time to do something for me." You can guarantee that they've been doing pretty much anything and everything for themselves all along.

I think you are overestimating the reach and power of CPS.  Millions of families live with non biological partners in this country. The children are healthy, fed and clothed. I'm assuming they go to school and there have been no allegations of abuse. CPS  has it's hands full with children who have been abused and neglected. I cannot imagine that they have the manpower or the will to check on every family where a parent moves a non biological partner in to the home. 

[Sprockets]

21 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

Because it's so sexy, I'm guessing? And we all might spontaneously orgasm if we see it? 

Or they might.  The Creepy Quotient is very high with these people . 

9 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

I cannot imagine that they have the manpower or the will to check on every family where a parent moves a non biological partner in to the home. 

Right you are.  They have all they can do to keep up with children being burned, starved, beaten, etc.  The situation here is unwise and unpalatable.  It might go terribly wrong, but so might a lot of things that end up being okay.  No one is going to intervene until and unless something horrible actually hapoens, and maybe not even then.  

 

20 minutes ago, 3girlsforus said:

I would definitely advise Olivia to call her dad, assuming of course they have a relationship.

Or any supportive family member or authority figure.  She has real fears and anxieties, and she deserves to be heard and validated.  If she needs a safe haven, I hope she has one, and her younger sister as well.  

[Arwen Evenstar]

7 hours ago, Granny58 said:

I have a Mormon friend whose children go or have gone to BYU and she said, definitely...it's marry for sex.  I'm not Mormon, but I am a very fundamental Christian (in the classic sense described earlier), and both she and I can see the value in waiting.  On the other hand, I can also see the danger in sex being the motivation to marry.   It's really difficult to have a good answer to this. 

THIS! Also there’s value in these evangelical circles to make sure their kids are mature enough for marriage and sex.  The Duggars and their ilk tie marriage to certain “privileges “ : kissing, living away from home, girls wearing pants or jeans, having their own social media account, status as a married person gives you superiority over unmarrieds...But, the failure to launch and adult seems to be the rule rather than the exception for most of the 5 married Duggars. The daughters are abysmal housekeepers considering they were taught to only want to be wives and mothers.

Edited October 24, 2017 by Arwen Evenstar

[3girlsforus]

16 minutes ago, Sprockets said:

Or they might.  The Creepy Quotient is very high with these people . 

Right you are.  They have all they can do to keep up with children being burned, starved, beaten, etc.  The situation here is unwise and unpalatable.  It might go terribly wrong, but so might a lot of things that end up being okay.  No one is going to intervene until and unless something horrible actually hapoens, and maybe not even then.  

 

Or any supportive family member or authority figure.  She has real fears and anxieties, and she deserves to be heard and validated.  If she needs a safe haven, I hope she has one, and her younger sister as well.  

The more I think about it the more I think it will have to be a supportive adult in her life rather than a father. Since she’s on the show, either her father is not part of the custody equation or he agreed to let her be on the show knowing what Molly was doing. Neither scenario would make the Dad an ideal candidate to help her deal with her fears and anxieties. I really hope both girls find someone to talk to who will take their feelings seriously and not just say ‘everything will be ok - it’s time for me’

[Splithair]

13 hours ago, Forum member said:

The divorce rate in the Philippines is low because divorce is illegal. It's zero. You can get an annulment but it is difficult and very expensive. That's what the celebrities do over there. If these couples ever have a wedding there after marrying here on the K1, then they are always married there. A divorce here changes nothing there.

Thanks, I didn't realize it was illegal. Makes these guys even more icky.

[mamadrama]

2 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

@mamadrama I am bowing down. I cosign every word.

Thank you. The alcohol apparently kicked in early today. I wax poetic on the liqueur. ;-)

[Red Bridey]

Luis is one ugly guy.  Molly is an idiot and her daughter is over it.  The Filipina woman looks like a man, baby.  Larry's woman is homely as a mud fence too.  Evelyn is just horny.  I still think her fiancé seems like a nice guy...although did it seem to anyone else that he wasn't buying much of what Princess Sparkles was saying?  I kind of liked Father Evelyn.  He seems like a kind person, and I cracked up when he said he was going to miss having his little girl around after they got married.  Oh, Dad, they will be living in your basement for years!

[mamadrama]

3 hours ago, annewithaneee said:

 

One of the many things that 90 Day Fiance has disappointed me with is they completely ignore any potential cause for concern other than "your foreign bride/groom is only here to scam you and run off with your money/green card". Nobody's ever worried about isolation, control, abuse. To me, that's the big danger of these sorts of arrangements (especially bringing over near-strangers instead of using the K1 more as it's intended). Maybe it's because we're following the POV of the American, but it blows my mind that the big scary danger here is gold-digging and visa-seeking rather than, y'know, danger. 

I would like to see some couples exploring the things that you mentioned. 

In my own experience, the cultural isolation has been the hardest on us. I live in a very conservative, religious area that's so isolated that our nearest Wal-Mart is an hour away. I married a liberal agnostic from Birmingham, England. We've been here in the mountains for 10+ years now and he's yet to make any friends. He's tried but he's not that outgoing or sociable to begin with and he doesn't put himself out there. That's one issue. The other is that we are surrounded by macho "country" men who build houses, work on cars, raise livestock, drive tractors, and hunt. My husband writes poetry, enjoys foreign cinema, and can quote Oscar Wilde. The men around here like him a lot, but they treat him like he's another species and he doesn't get invited to things. (Seriously, they treat him like a celebrity. He was asked to be the grand marshall in the parade one year, just because he's foreign, blonde, and sounds like Prince William.) I am the "masculine" one in our relationship, which is kind of funny since I'm pretty girlie and feminine myself. He LOVES it here-loves the scenery, loves the standard of living we can afford to raise our kids in, loves the warmth of the people, and truly appreciates the culture...but it couldn't be more foreign to him. 

 

We're actually trying to move. He says he doesn't mind where we live but I worry about him and I worry that the isolation will eventually start affecting his mental health. Right now, we have the kids and we're pretty consumed by family life. As they grow older and become more independent, however, things will change. 

[Splithair]

5 hours ago, mamadrama said:

A few thoughts...

People marry for all sorts of reasons. I know straight men who have married gay women and had "open" relationships. I know elderly folks who have married into their early 90s for the companionship and friendship. I know several middle-aged men who have sought wives from the Phillipines. In fact, a first cousin did it and he was sponsored by a close family member (not me, but close). Although those marriages are weird to me, and not based on love at all in the beginning, many of them seem to work. My cousin's been married to his foreign bride for 20+ years now, they have several kids, and they seem to be as happy as anyone else. So, you know, more power to them. I think they key is having a good understanding of expectations before the marriage takes place. Romantic love can be fleeting but a marriage built on mutual respect and friendship can often turn into something that's deep and rewarding for both-though both parties must be honest about intentions. 

With that being said...Good God and gravy, these people annoy the everlasting fuck out of me. 

I honestly want to slap that smug smile off Evelyn's face. That pious smugness is, to me, almost as bad as Danielle's mess. I don't know David well enough to feel sorry for him yet but the fact that the dude didn't discuss things like MOVING with her before he arrived makes me think he's just as dumb as her. 

Elizabeth...I canNOT look away from her face. I have never seen a face photograph so differently from how it appears in real life. Really, it's like a trainwreck to me. Every time they show a picture of her I have to rewind, pause, and stare at the TV. 

I am just kind of assuming that Luis is a sanky panky at this point. As long as Molly gets her some good lovin' and doesn't lose much in the process (like a lot of money, her business reputation, or something worse with her girls) then I don't have a problem with it. You go, girl. 

If they can't keep up with May then they are going to have to bite the bullet and put the leash on her. 

Father Evelyn is kinda hot. If he wasn't married, and I wasn't married, and he wasn't a fundamentalist...yeah, I'd hit that. 

I like what you said regarding expectations before marriage. Only in recent, primarily Western, history has marriage been about falling in love and then getting married. There were/are lots of reasons people marry, and in many cases these marriages become successful and the love is 'grown', so to speak.

The only thing that really matters is that both people are upfront about their intentions, and both are clear on what the marriage means to them. If both people agree and choose to move forward, then they have a decent chance of making it work.

[annewithaneee]

10 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

We're actually trying to move. He says he doesn't mind where we live but I worry about him and I worry that the isolation will eventually start affecting his mental health. Right now, we have the kids and we're pretty consumed by family life. As they grow older and become more independent, however, things will change. 

Other than wondering if this amazing-sounding husband has a brother (jk), that does sound difficult and that moving to a larger city, or at least closer to one, might help. I do have to say that in my own experience, therapy does wonders for talking through feelings of isolation and difficulty forming relationships outside of existing family bonds. It doesn't have to get to the point of suffering from any major depression/anxiety first, too, for it to be potentially helpful.