S05.E06: Erica's Story

[AmandaPanda]

Quote

Erica regrets not keeping a promise to her mom and hopes her siblings will help, but they're reluctant based on her past failures.

[Azubah]

Wow. This is already a sad one.

[Maggienolia]

I can't believe she actually fit on the plane. At least she has the whole row to herself. How awful for all involved if she were having to share the row with one or two other people. 

[Miss Chevious]

I'm only a half hour in, but I want to reach into the TV screen and give Erica a hug. So glad her sister agreed to get her to Dr. Now's office. You can tell this poor lady is really hurting. 

1 minute ago, Maggienolia said:

I can't believe she actually fit on the plane. At least she has the whole row to herself. How awful for all involved if she were having to share the row with one or two other people. 

I just kept hoping she didn't have to go to the bathroom! Don't think she would've fit in there.

[Azubah]

This reminds me of Intervention episodes where the siblings are totally fed up. There might be a good reason why her siblings don't want to deal with her. Or -- maybe they're all just following Dad's lead. Hard to know.

[LookABird]

It's painful to see how her sister speaks of her and to her.

[Azubah]

She has severe lipedema/lymphedema.

Yikes! I had no idea that flying would be so dangerous for her.

[Tenarife60]

"I don't care that she took all of my food.  I'll just order some more."   Like so many of them she never says where she was getting all of the money to send out for food.    She's not a very likeable person, though, the way she talked to her brother, and thankfully her sister wasn't having it and put her foot down.

[Armchair Critic]

I can understand her siblings being reluctant to go to Houston, it's not so easy when you have a job and family. Frankly if my relatives gave me an attitude like hers, I would rather pay a stranger to help me.

[Brooklynista]

Sooo...the siblings are supposed to up and leave their jobs and families and move to Houston? All  because she makes a conscious choice to continuously wreck her life?? 

If she says chocolate fudge cake one more time...!!!

[RedKoolAide]

I wonder how many times in the past she tried to lose weight and asked for her family's help and she went back to eating junk? I can understand her family being over her bullshit. She seems really juvenile and demanding. No one is going to give up their livelihood just to spend six months with her in Houston only to have her go back to eating lemon merigue pies for breakfast.

[Awfarmington]

Did she really ask her brother to give up his source of income to stay with her for 6 months? So is she going to support him when his business goes under? I run my own business and don't have the luxury of a 6 month break. I have a feeling her brother doesn't have that luxury either. 

 

I'm having a hard time liking this one. It's all about her, and her siblings lives don't matter. I don't blame them for being tired of her antics. 

[Azubah]

Okay, I'm losing sympathy fast.

"I discovered that my family is trying to help me, and I'm really angry about that."

[aliya]

48 minutes ago, Azubah said:

This reminds me of Intervention episodes where the siblings are totally fed up. There might be a good reason why her siblings don't want to deal with her. Or -- maybe they're all just following Dad's lead. Hard to know.

I was thinking the same thing (about Dad's lead). If you hear the same thing over and over growing up, it's going to be part of you unless you make an effort for it not to be. Plus, I'm not a big fan of Erica. Has she not seen the show? Of course she's gonna have to diet. No one gets to Houston and Dr. Now just says, "Fine, I'm scheduling you for tomorrow." They gotta diet, there are tests, there's drama. I got a little frustrated with the eye rolling, etc. None of them are people I'd want to know.

[Awfarmington]

The sister clearly has a lot of disdain for her, so why does she keep helping? I get it's not the same help that most of the other folks on 600lb life get. But she doesn't hide her annoyance with the help she is giving. 

[Azubah]

OMG, we're only up to Month 4.

[aliya]

5 minutes ago, Awfarmington said:

The sister clearly has a lot of disdain for her, so why does she keep helping? I get it's not the same help that most of the other folks on 600lb life get. But she doesn't hide her annoyance with the help she is giving. 

That would be my mother. "I'm gonna help, but I'll make your life a living hell while I do it." Or the ever popular, "I'll help, and I won't ask for anything in return, but I'll always resent that you didn't give me something in return and I'll bring it up every time we talk."

Now back to our show...

[DNR]

I came in in the middle of the episode, I could see how the siblings got tired of her failures and hang-dog sad voice . I'm guessing she's deeply depressed and it was sad tho to see how the sister spoke to her but i guess it stems from resentment and frustration . I don't have high hopes for Erica but I do hope she does make it and gains some self love and improves her relationship with her siblings . I have to watch the beginning tomorrow but I'm guessing there was some family dysfunction or some kind of abuse in ericas history.

*** wow , just saw that she had previous weight loss surgery 

Edited February 9, 2017 by DNR
Ninja edit

[Azubah]

Dysfunction Junction, what's your malfunction? 

Wow.

[Brooklynista]

24 minutes ago, Awfarmington said:

The sister clearly has a lot of disdain for her, so why does she keep helping? I get it's not the same help that most of the other folks on 600lb life get. But she doesn't hide her annoyance with the help she is giving. 

As the sister of an alcoholic I have to say the shit gets old. "Whoa is me, my life is fucked, I fucked it, so now I need for you to disrupt your life to fix it. Again."

After a while you can't even try to hide how you feel about their bullshit whining.

Edited February 9, 2017 by Brooklynista

[Minivanessa]

Wow, she's irritating as hell. She's hospitalized because she has a life threatening infection. And she repeatedly gripes about "being stuck in the hospital." Look, sweetie, they saved your freaking life. Sorry if it chapped your royal ass that they didn't do that in some location you might have liked better. Poor you, all stuck in the hospital.

What a whiner.

Edited February 9, 2017 by Jeeves
Autocorrect blows

[Pers]

Just now, Brooklynista said:

As the sister of an alcoholic I have to say the shit gets old. "Whoa is me, my life is fucked, I fucked it, so now I need for you to disrupt your life to fix it. Again."

After a while you can't even try to hide how you feel about their bullshit whining.

Hi Brooklynista,

My sister is an alcoholic with a myriad of mental illnesses. She is abusive and manipulative. I've finally had to cut her off for my own health, it was hard but I had to because she was threatening me and my husband. All that to say, I agree with you. There comes a point where the love is just gone, the person in question just takes it one step too far and it's just too much. 

[CouchTater]

Ugh. I'm at the part of the ep where Erica has her endoscopy. I'm having an endoscopy tomorrow (bratty stomach) and it freaked me out seeing that!!!  Argh!!!

Erica's sad, Eyore voice is bumming me out, too. 

[fonfereksglen]

I'm not going to rag on her family.  From the outside, boundaries look really ugly.  And nothing you say to anyone will make you look better to those looking at your boundaries with disgust. 

I'll probably DVR the pop up version, because I have a lot of questions.  Tough episode.  

[MrsClaus]

Well, I see I wasn't the only one to come away from this episode with more questions than answers.  I kept thinking that there was a whole lot more to Erica's story that what we were told and whatever wasn't being said definitely played into the whole whiney mess that was her life.

[DNR]

43 minutes ago, dutronc said:

I'm pretty sympathetic to the sister--it's possible she's a total jerk, but I'm running with the idea that she's just enforcing her own healthy boundaries. It can't be easy to deal with Erica, who complains that no one will help her and than mumble-rages when you try.

@dutronc ...❤️ You had me at mumble-rages  ???.  Thanks for the laugh 

[rlc]

Man, that episode made me sad.

[jacksgirl]

Would love a follow up on Erica.  I just don't think she was very committed to diet and exercise.  Loved the niece, Jessie.  I almost thought she might be the one to move to Houston with Erica. So what was Erica's life like between 20 and 44. Did she work? Such a sad and lonely life. 

[DC Gal in VA]

Well, after reading all of the responses to Erica's story, I'm going to have to depart from the overwhelming sentiment about her and say that my heart goes out to her and throughout most of this show I wanted to reach out to her and give her a hug, show her support and yes, some tough love. Emphasis on the love part of that phrase.

Of all the people featured on this show she is without a doubt the most depressed one I have ever seen. Most of the show I had a lump in my throat about her horrible gang rape experience, especially since she was set up and betrayed by her so-called boyfriend AND it was her first sexual experience AND she was too terrified to tell her father. Top all that off with her dear old dad's constantly expressing how disappointed he was with her. Every girl wants, even craves, the unconditional love of her father but my gut feeling is that she was terrified because the prick would've probably blamed her. Then the only person who did seem to love her--her mother--dies.

As for her family, didn't really like them at all. Yes they did help her but I truly loathe anyone who (begrudgingly) offers help and then seems to want to wipe your face in it. It really grated my last nerve how Erica was constantly, at least IMHO, over thanking them for helping her with almost an "I know I am not worthy of your help" tone in her voice.

Yes, she's tried and failed to lose weight countless times, yes she definitely could be a PITA, definitely whined too much about not being able to eat what she wanted, but even her bitchy sister said she was mentally ill! So sis, it stands to reason that a mentally ill woman is guaranteed to make bad choices and be self-destructive. Try to imagine living with the betrayal of what was probably her first love lining up FIVE guys to rape you and the additional betrayal of an unloving, belittling father. Now imagine keeping that all inside for 28 years. I was actually amazed that she hadn't tried to (more directly) commit suicide.

So, I am rooting for her and deeply hope she comes to love her independence in Houston and achieves a healthy level of self-esteem. Maybe she could find an Overeaters Anonymous group to meet with.

BTW, loved the therapist! Best one so far. Now that was some effective tough love. So glad that she promised to stay in touch. 

Edited February 9, 2017 by DC Gal in VA
To add additional comments.

[Kelly]

Erica reminds me a lot of one of my family members. I sympathize with her, to a point. I sympathize with her family members as well. I can relate to how they might be feeling/acting. You want to help the person in your family, and offer support - doctors, therapists, gyms/trainers, help w shopping/food prep and the person always has excuses. Never makes progress. Actually gains more. Its hard to watch a family member destroy themselves - but if they dont want to change (for whatever reason) - there really isnt much family members can do.

[Toaster Strudel]

A person that eats a lot, poops a lot.  So... how did she deal with a 4 hour airplane ride?

What the episode was lacking was showing us just how much she ate.  It was glossed over a bit.  It's one of the most enlightening bits!

[Pepperminty]

My heart broke for her. She was clearly depressed and had a horrible father if she was too scared to tell him she was gang raped. Geez he must have been a loving man. 

As for her requesting help, she was probably asking out of desperation rather than an entitlement expectation since she had no one. 

I thought the sister was a nasty, nasty, crusty bitch, ugly inside and out. I hope Erica loses enough weight to break free of her family and not have to take their meanness. 

Loved the niece and I thought it was cute how she put eyelashes over her car's front headlights. 

[NYCFree]

Erica's back story is just heart breaking, it really is amazing that she could persevere after all that. I get that the siblings have probably been through A LOT with her, but the sister really confirmed her bitchy card membership early on when she stated "Erica is an embarrassment."

[DC Gal in VA]

19 minutes ago, NYCFree said:

Erica's back story is just heart breaking, it really is amazing that she could persevere after all that. I get that the siblings have probably been through A LOT with her, but the sister really confirmed her bitchy card membership early on when she stated "Erica is an embarrassment."

And we can't forget NYCFREE when Bitch-a-rella said something to the effect that "Erica really needed to prove herself so that she could earn her place in the family." WTF? How about you earn a place where my foot is firmly shoved up your ass, beotch!!!

[MsVixen]

I'm watching the show now and I have to admit that Erica's sister is refreshing.  We rarely see relatives who are not enabling and who have lives of their own. 

 

[jcbrown]

I've only made it to month 8 and I'm not sure how much more I can take. She is such a whiny whiner who whines and I am completely sympathetic to he siblings.  That said, I thought it was quite revelatory hen she turned so childlike in response to her brother's praise when she leaned she had lost the requisite 50 pounds.  She definitely needs therapy to figure out how to grow up. 

[Noirprncess]

I'm probably halfway in and I'm over Erica and her whining.  Yes, I feel sympathy for her gang rape situation.  But, my that is where my sympathy started and stopped.  She, like her fellow cast mates, thought that she could eat what she wanted, have surgery and lose weight with zero effort.  Then starts whining when she finds its not like that at all.

Also, I didn't like her strong arm tactics at her brother's house at all.  "Do this or I'll be dead soon...". He has a family to support so why she felt he could drop it all for six months was beyond me.  And this was AFTER she flew to Texas, got a game plan then came home and did what she wanted to ANYWAY.   I don't blame him over being skeptical because it's obvious that it's a recurring theme with her.  Everyone drops everything to help then she does what she wants or gets mad when it gets hard and gives up.

[swankie]

I felt so bad for Erica when her bitch assed sister visited her.  She really needs to look in the mirror herself and realize she's fat too.  She didn't seem to have any love for Erica at all.  When she said that Erica was an embarrassment I screamed at my TV, "Bitch!  Look at you!"  It made me so friggin angry.  I just wanted to give Erica a hug after that.

[Cherpumple]

6 hours ago, CouchTater said:

Ugh. I'm at the part of the ep where Erica has her endoscopy. I'm having an endoscopy tomorrow (bratty stomach) and it freaked me out seeing that!!!  Argh!!!

Don't be scared! I had one a few years ago (to remove an escaped gallstone) and was terrified too, but they knocked me out before I felt anything weird and woke up after it was over, so it was a lot easier than I expected. You'll probably have a sore throat for a day or two afterwards, so have cough drops on hand. Good luck!

[swankie]

5 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

Of all the people featured on this show she is without a doubt the most depressed one I have ever seen. Most of the show I had a lump in my throat about her horrible gang rape experience, especially since she was set up and betrayed by her so-called boyfriend AND it was her first sexual experience AND she was too terrified to tell her father. Top all that off with her dear old dad's constantly expressing how disappointed he was with her. Every girl wants, even craves, the unconditional love of her father but my gut feeling is that she was terrified because the prick would've probably blamed her. Then the only person who did seem to love her--her mother--dies.

As for her family, didn't really like them at all. Yes they did help her but I truly loathe anyone who (begrudgingly) offers help and then seems to want to wipe your face in it. It really grated my last nerve how Erica was constantly, at least IMHO, over thanking them for helping her with almost an "I know I am not worthy of your help" tone in her voice.

You managed to voice everything I was feeling watching this.  I felt so bad for Erica.  It seemed that nobody but her mother and her niece loved her.  With as much whining as she did (I saw it more as severe depression) she wasn't anywhere near as bad as Kirsten.  I actually shed some tears for Erica.  She just seemed so alone.  I still say her sister was a raving bitch!  I too am surprised Erica didn't just slit her wrists.  With a family like that, full of coldness and resentment, there is no way I could have coped as well as Erica did.  I hope she does well and is able to find some real love in her life.

[nlkm9]

I missed that last 30 minutes--did dr now say she couldnt have wls because of her previous stomach stapling? Where did the epidsode end,

 how did they leave it off. and yes, I was surprised at how bitchy her sister was knowing it would be on TV, it was very sad that she had noone to stay with her. very depressing.

Edited February 9, 2017 by nlkm9

[whydoiwatch]

Love this forum, so many insights and opinions.

I fall on the side of thinking the sister was mean and nasty. Boundaries, I understand, but if she is that repulsed and embarrassed by Erica - just stay away. Why come around and be verbally abusive? Living around Erica's whining and poor choices would be exhausting, but that is no excuse for some of the things Molly said.

Erica was at her worst when trying to strong arm her brother into giving up his livelihood to help her. I think she felt so unworthy that she was demanding things she knew wouldn't happen and that would reinforce her unworthiness.

Erica was more depressed than anyone I have seen on this show. I get that her family was ill equipped to deal with this. If her sister was trying to establish boundaries, IMHO she failed and actually contributed to Erica's mental status.  Molly was huge, maybe she was afraid she would get as big as Erica. Sad situation, indeed.

[Guest]

8 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

A person that eats a lot, poops a lot.  So... how did she deal with a 4 hour airplane ride?

 

That was my big, burning question, too! Even if she did need to use the bathroom, how would she make it there? And once there, how would she even get IN that bathroom?! It's barely big enough for me and I'm small framed and normal weight! 

My other question was: why didn't the mother call the police after Erica told her about the gang rape? 

I hope Erica makes it -- but I still have sympathy for her sister, Molly. I have a relative who's an alcoholic and he's been one for 30+ years. I'm sick of his whining about how he has to drink because he hates his life and his constant "oh, poor me" routine while I see him destroying lives all around him because of his drinking and his obnoxious behavior. I hope one day he gets sober (he won't) but in the meanwhile, it drags me down and affects my life and I avoid him at all possible costs. I'd help him if push came to shove, but I absolutely believe I'd treat him like Molly treated Erica.

[scootypuffjr]

1 hour ago, nlkm9 said:

I missed that last 30 minutes--did dr now say she couldnt have wls because of her previous stomach stapling? Where did the epidsode end,

 how did they leave it off. and yes, I was surprised at how bitchy her sister was knowing it would be on TV, it was very sad that she had noone to stay with her. very depressing.

She did have the surgery - Dr. Now removed the staples and gave her a gastric sleeve. Her niece and sister came down to be with her during the surgery as a surprise and her sister even stayed behind to help her for a while. The show closed with Erica and her sister visiting a reptile house as Erica was feeling good enough for an outing. A more positive ending than I would have expected, to be honest.

Was that the coolest therapist or what? Loved her.

[AZChristian]

I lost all sympathy for Erica when the nutritionist left her home, and Erica's first comment was, "Well, I can call and order another food delivery - and I WILL, too."

I'm dealing with a brother right now whose needs require a lot of time and effort from hubby and me.  The only thing that keeps me from walking away is the knowledge that he is in a confused state and CANNOT respond and/or participate in his treatment plan appropriately.  If - for one second - it was a case of WILL NOT, the next thing he'd see of me is my backside walking out the door.

Her family may not have ever been the most loving and functional, but that doesn't absolve Erica of responsibility to TRY to cooperate with them.  She thinks it's all about her, and real life just isn't that way.

Edited February 9, 2017 by AZChristian
Typos increase with age.

[TheVoicesToldMeTo]

11 hours ago, CouchTater said:

Erica's sad, Eyore voice is bumming me out, too. 

She's a master manipulator.  She gets people to do what she wants with her fatalistic attitude.   You can shrink a person's stomach down to the size of an egg and hire them the best nutritionists but you can't fix entitlement.  I think that's what sets Erica apart from most of the subjects on this show. 

[Hana Chan]

I had a lot of conflicted feelings about this episode. On one hand, I did feel sympathy for Erica as a sexual assault victim but I can't see that as the sole reason for her being in the position that she was in. Likewise, I found her sister's distain and reluctance to help off putting, but it was clear that she and the rest of the family were at their wits end. It is like dealing with a long term addict's self-destructiveness and the rest of the family eventually withdraws in order to protect themselves.

It's always frustrating for me to see someone who is clearly aware that their behaviors are killing them but are unwilling to make even the most rudimentary changes in order to save themselves. Watching Erica binge on a quantity of food that would be generous for an entire family made me nauseous. And I was glad that Dr. Now wasn't sugar coating things for her because the chances of surgery helping her are pretty nonexistent if she cannot make the dietary changes she needs to. She already failed one surgery because she wasn't able (or willing) to curtail her eating so I'm not optimistic about her chances.

[dahling]

Good gravy, this was the most uncomfortable I have ever been watching this show - two HOURS of this was too much.  Erica was/is mentally ill - obviously. But listening to her brother and sister talk to her/about her made me wanted to hide under the bed. What terrible humans. Couldn't they have at least put on a brave front for the TV cameras?  I would not want to have a permanent film record for all time of me comparing my boat to my sister's life. I would not want to be on record calling my mentally ill sister an embarrassment. I say this with the full acknowledgement that Erica bears at least 50% of the responsibility - you don't get to be in the situation where you are 40+ and your family won't help you and you have no friends, without some pretty serious mistakes on your part. 

Guys, there is no way she stood up on that airplane trip - to use the restroom or for any other reason. Maybe she held it, maybe she was wearing some kind of adult incontinence product, maybe she went in her pants - but she did not stand up, she did not walk down the aisle, she did not enter the plane restroom.  I couldn't do that at 380 lbs, she absofrigginlutely couldn't do it at 680. These things are as likely as her flapping her arms and flying to Houston. 

Her pre-surgery weight loss was slow but I think it was a victory for her to even reverse the trend and lose a little instead of continuing to gain. She has mental issues, and needs serious help. Not to mention, being bed bound, alone, in her tiny apartment, her only friend WAS food. I believed her when she was eating her muffin and said that when she ate something sweet in the morning she knew that it would be a good day. Been there, done that. It was the only thing she had to look forward to. And I worry for her that she's still fairly immobile with that terrible lymphedema and still very isolated. What does she have to be happy about? What's her reason to get up every day? I get needing the muffin. 

Poor thing. She was less terrible than Kirstin, but also not nearly as funny. No laughing for hubby and me this time. :(

[AZChristian]

Dr. Phil sometimes says, "We teach people how to treat us."  IMHO, there's a reason why Erica's family seems so cold in their relationship with her.  I'm suspecting that she uses the guilt trip a lot, and it stopped being effective.

Really . . . who would expect their estranged brother and/or sister to give up their jobs, their families, and their lives for at least 6 months to take care of someone who has a history of non-cooperation?  Erica needs to fix her own issues before she can have any expectation that anyone else should sacrifice for her.

Again, JMO.

[ClareWalks]

I felt for Erica. Her past was horrible. I can see why she turned to food. 

BUT...people WERE trying to help her, and she kept whining that nobody was helping her. Nobody is helping. I keep begging for help, but nobody will help. They are trying, woman. They have tried to help you for years. Throwing out your shitty food IS helping. Encouraging you to eat better IS helping. Hiring you a therapist IS helping. I'm not sure what exactly she wanted people to do to "help." Everything her sister suggested, she had an excuse for. And the way she tried to manipulate her brother....wow. Her family sure ain't perfect, but I would have been sick of her bullshit too.