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Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp


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Good sense and Duggars do not equal out. I hope Joy would head to the hospital asap if something was to go terribly wrong, but we are talking about the Duggars here. Dr. JillPhonyian is probably her main source of pregnancy medical care. My Sassy Girl would do a much better job with prenatal medical care and advice than Cling Queen would. Heck, the fire hydrant  down the street would do a much better job. Joy can always use the line Michelle uses when it comes to giving birth: I almost or could have died giving birth to you, Be grateful I am your birth mother.

Edited by bigskygirl
6 minutes ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

I don't feel that showing a reasonable amount of compassion for a molester's troubled upbringing means you are excusing their actions or saying they have a right to do whatever it is they did. It just means you are acknowledging the effect of certain external factors that might have contributed to the situation. 

Ultimately, of course, what Josh did is on him. But Michelle and Jim Bob bear some responsibility for a culture that developed within their home. A culture that bred an incestuous child molester. That is on them.

THIS! THIS! THIS! A 1,000,000 x THIS!

  • Love 15
6 minutes ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

I don't feel that showing a reasonable amount of compassion for a molester's troubled upbringing means you are excusing their actions or saying they have a right to do whatever it is they did. It just means you are acknowledging the effect of certain external factors that might have contributed to the situation. 

Ultimately, of course, what Josh did is on him. But Michelle and Jim Bob bear some responsibility for a culture that developed within their home. A culture that bred an incestuous child molester. That is on them.

I see and respect your point of view. JB and Michelle do need to take some of the responsibility for what happened. My thoughts go along to the fact I think Josh would have turn out to be a child molester/major creep who treats women like crap even if he had a semi-normal childhood. Of course, JB and Michelle had an okay childhood and look how they turned out. A part of me feels bad for Josh, but a major part of me wants to slap the crap out of him until I get some major hand cramps.

4 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

Good sense and Duggars do not equal out. I hope Joy would head to the hospital asap if something was to go terribly wrong, but we are talking about the Duggars here. Dr. JillPhonyian is probably her main source of pregnancy medical care. My Sassy Girl would do a much better job with prenatal medical care and advice than Cling Queen would. Heck, the fire hydrant  down the street would do a much better job. Joy can always use the line Michelle uses when it comes to giving birth: I almost or could have died giving birth to you, Be grateful I am your birth mother.

I don’t understand the Duggar girl fixation with little prenatal care.

Michelle ALWAYS had prenatal care and saw qualified midwives and Ob/Gyns. (She might not have listened to everything they said but she went). She had two home births (Jinger and Joseph), AFTER knowing she could deliver vaginally after her c-section with Jana/JD; but after Joseph she went back to the hospital for her births. 

If Michelle and JB acknowledged that caring for the well being of a pregnant woman and the precious child they claim is a blessing, is of importance when the daughters miss the memo?

3 hours ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

I don't feel that showing a reasonable amount of compassion for a molester's troubled upbringing means you are excusing their actions or saying they have a right to do whatever it is they did. It just means you are acknowledging the effect of certain external factors that might have contributed to the situation. 

Ultimately, of course, what Josh did is on him. But Michelle and Jim Bob bear some responsibility for a culture that developed within their home. A culture that bred an incestuous child molester. That is on them.

Josh suffered at the hands of his parents similarly the way most of the older kids did (lack of food, space, too much responsibility etc), but something tells me that @bigskygirl is right- Josh would’ve ended up similarly in a loving/nurturing home. Perhaps not an incestous molester because he would’ve had other young ladies for him to molest/assault but his sense of entitlement towards women’s bodies is held by too many people who grew up in “normal homes”. It was 100% JB & Michelle’s fault the way they handled it- the culture of their home protected an incestous child molester and then made his victims cook and clean for him!!

  • Love 9
24 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I don’t understand the Duggar girl fixation with little prenatal care.

Michelle ALWAYS had prenatal care and saw qualified midwives and Ob/Gyns. (She might not have listened to everything they said but she went). She had two home births (Jinger and Joseph), AFTER knowing she could deliver vaginally after her c-section with Jana/JD; but after Joseph she went back to the hospital for her births. 

If Michelle and JB acknowledged that caring for the well being of a pregnant woman and the precious child they claim is a blessing, is of importance when the daughters miss the memo?

Good point. Boob and Mechelle are a lot of things but to their credit it seemed that they were generally pretty good about obtaining prenatal care for each of their children. And, they were not nearly as wealthy with the first few children as they were from Jackson on down. I'm wondering if the deal with the Duggar daughters started with Anna, rather than Michelle. Don't know the Kellers' background on home deliveries and prenatal care, but with Anna being able to deliver at home and then presumably saving on costs, may have led to Jessa and Jill, and probably Joy, opting to do the same thing.

  • Love 5

We only know that Michelle had professional care after the family started being filmed.  We know what they say about the earlier pregnancies, but there's no proof she had any attention better than the trailer park midwives we've seen with Michelle's daughters.  And yes, she delivered a lot of the kids in hospitals, but not necessarily by choice.  

  • Love 4

Michelle’s first teevee baby was Jackson, #15. Jinger, #6, was the first home birth, with a doctor and nurse present, and Joseph, #7, was her last home birth.

Michelle birthing 19 kids and living to tell to the tale suggests a deference to medical science. 

The current home birth bullshit is due to Anna. 

Edited by Kokapetl
  • Love 9
20 hours ago, RedheadZombie said:

Don't they plan the weddings around their period?  There has to be a reason there are so many honeymoon babies.

I get that with the exception of Jinger they all probably want to be pregnant after their first time, but don't most brides plan their wedding around their period? Unless they've got a very specific fetish, I'm guessing most women don't want to go to their wedding bed bleeding, bloated and possibly crampy.

  • Love 11
28 minutes ago, kalamac said:

I get that with the exception of Jinger they all probably want to be pregnant after their first time, but don't most brides plan their wedding around their period? Unless they've got a very specific fetish, I'm guessing most women don't want to go to their wedding bed bleeding, bloated and possibly crampy.

Yeah this isn’t exclusively a Duggar thing. Many many women track their periods even if they aren’t TTC or anything like that (I was always taught to track mine from the very first). If you are very regular or on hormonal contraceptives, you’d try to pick a date that worked with your cycle (I know I would!). 

  • Love 7
4 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Good point. Boob and Mechelle are a lot of things but to their credit it seemed that they were generally pretty good about obtaining prenatal care for each of their children. And, they were not nearly as wealthy with the first few children as they were from Jackson on down. I'm wondering if the deal with the Duggar daughters started with Anna, rather than Michelle. Don't know the Kellers' background on home deliveries and prenatal care, but with Anna being able to deliver at home and then presumably saving on costs, may have led to Jessa and Jill, and probably Joy, opting to do the same thing.

Which brings me to the question of how they paid for these hospital births.  Before any of the specials aired, they were living literally hand to mouth in a small home, existing on charity from their church. (aka love offerings). Paying the bills for several hospital births would have been impossible. JB, I think worked in real estate so probably didn't have benefits.

It would really be a shame if the marrieds had no choice but to deliver at home because of money and/or no insurance. We know that Anna shoots them out like torpedoes, but the Duggar girls have not been so lucky and have had serious complications. 

But to bring this back to Austin and Joy, I would love to hear that Joy is getting proper prenatal care, but I fear she's only getting visits from "midwife" Jill and her medical thingies. How sad.

  • Love 3
15 minutes ago, bythelake said:

Which brings me to the question of how they paid for these hospital births.  Before any of the specials aired, they were living literally hand to mouth in a small home, existing on charity from their church. (aka love offerings). Paying the bills for several hospital births would have been impossible. JB, I think worked in real estate so probably didn't have benefits.

JB was earning an income though, and they are “debt free”. A vaginal birth in bum fuck Arkansas (location matters) may have only cost a couple of thousand dollars in the 1990s- if he started saving from the day the pee stick came back they could afford it. If I had no mortgage or student loans clearing 5k each year for a hospital bill wouldn’t be an issue. JB was cheap but he did MAKE money and spent it where he wanted. If he had $250k for a campaign I’m sure he had a few thousand a year to pay Michelle’s doctors. Especially since we know he wasn’t spending his income on his children once they got OUT of utero. Also all of the money and gifts they received from other “like-minded” people helped with the living expenses. 

  • Love 6
On 11/24/2017 at 1:05 AM, Sew Sumi said:

Did she track her LMP before the wedding? Are they that anal?

If Joy didn't, I bet Dr. Jill got a date (or an approximation in Joy's case) to calculate a due date. 

Her actual LMP or the LMP they're telling everyone to make sure the baby can be passed off as "premature".  Aannnd.........off to the prayer closet for me.

 

11 hours ago, kalamac said:

I get that with the exception of Jinger they all probably want to be pregnant after their first time, but don't most brides plan their wedding around their period? Unless they've got a very specific fetish, I'm guessing most women don't want to go to their wedding bed bleeding, bloated and possibly crampy.

All I can think of is the end of the movie 16 Candles where the sister is high on muscle relaxers at her wedding because she got her period that morning; one of the funniest scenes in an already funny movie.  

If you're planning the wedding a year in advance it's hard to be sure you'll be on track but I wouldn't be surprised though if the Dugger girls did this.  Their weddings are no more than a few months after the engagement and with nothing but hand sex to sustain them I imagine they (and future hubby) don't want anymore delays on that first honeymoon night.

Edited by sigmaforce86
  • Love 4

I will preface this comment by saying that I’m on my way to the prayer closet. Pumpkin pie and wine by my side.

If a Duggar bride is on her period for her wedding night, the “experience” may actually be more comfortable. I have no confidence that any of these grooms ensure that the women are “ready” before  they start.

  • Love 4
16 hours ago, madpsych78 said:

Good point. Boob and Mechelle are a lot of things but to their credit it seemed that they were generally pretty good about obtaining prenatal care for each of their children. And, they were not nearly as wealthy with the first few children as they were from Jackson on down. I'm wondering if the deal with the Duggar daughters started with Anna, rather than Michelle. Don't know the Kellers' background on home deliveries and prenatal care, but with Anna being able to deliver at home and then presumably saving on costs, may have led to Jessa and Jill, and probably Joy, opting to do the same thing.

At least for Mack, Anna saw the female OB Dr Sarver for prenatal care.  At least for the first visit. Remember Josh was late for it & Anna was worried they wouldn't be seen.  Josh made some cocky comment like Don't worry, we'll be seen.  Since Dr Sarver was supposed to deliver Mack at the hospital, I'm pretty sure Anna had the prenatal visits.  I think Anna may have started the home birth trend (besides having Marcus at a birthing center/midwife's house) but don't  feel she has a say in it anymore.

Hoping Austin's mom put her two cents in & recommended proper prenatal care vs Dr Jilly Muffin.

11 hours ago, AUgirl said:
11 hours ago, AUgirl said:

Not sure if this is a Leap Year but if it is and Joy has the baby on the 29th her head may explode next year when she realizes the date only comes around every four years. 

Love this. Yes,  I can imagine Joy staring at the next year's February calendar,  wondering where the 29th is. 

  • Love 3
10 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

JB was earning an income though, and they are “debt free”. A vaginal birth in bum fuck Arkansas (location matters) may have only cost a couple of thousand dollars in the 1990s- if he started saving from the day the pee stick came back they could afford it. If I had no mortgage or student loans clearing 5k each year for a hospital bill wouldn’t be an issue. JB was cheap but he did MAKE money and spent it where he wanted. If he had $250k for a campaign I’m sure he had a few thousand a year to pay Michelle’s doctors. Especially since we know he wasn’t spending his income on his children once they got OUT of utero. Also all of the money and gifts they received from other “like-minded” people helped with the living expenses. 

There was a story going around years ago that Grandma Mary had funded JB's political campaign. Tried to find a link but no go. Whether it was his money or his mother's, how could they continue to accept a house rent-free, and love offerings from their church when they were sitting on 250k? They were crammed in that small house, and the TTH had been started but lacked funds for completion. They even had people from the church working on it gratis before TLC came along. The children have hinted that there wasn't enough to eat and they had to hide food. Even the Bates family was living below the poverty level before JB ( and TLC) remodeled their house. So, they may have lived debt free, but it was only through the generosity of  a lot of good people. It's a pity JB and Michelle have never thought to repay the favor.

As far as insurance, Michelle's physician may have charged only a few thousand dollars, but the bulk of the bill would have been the hospital charges. The hospital has separate charges for the mother and the baby. That bill would have been much larger. It's possible that JB had Blue Cross for the hospital bill, but not Blue Shield. If that were the case he would have only been responsible for the doctor's portion and could pay that over time.

But the thing I can't figure out is why these girls want to deliver at home without proper licensed medical personnel? Is it because of finances, or merely because it's easier for TLC to get footage? Jessa hemorrhaged with Spurge, and yet chose to deliver Henry at home. With Jill's second, the baby was in distress and she needed a C/Section. These are serious complications and could have had serious consequences. They've seen bad things happen, but they are foolhardy if they think nothing can go wrong again.

  • Love 10

For the girls giving birth is their starring role. A role that they've been training and longing for since they can remember. What better way to be the Prima Fundy Woman than to sacrifice comfort and give birth at home?

What they fail to realize is that giving birth isn't just about them, its also about the health and well being of their new blessing. They would be seen with respect if they took care of their babies during pregnancies and births.

I'm guessing Joy isn't aware of the many options of childbirth and will just do whatever she is told to do when its time.

  • Love 9
13 hours ago, Absolom said:

Real insurance something like Blue Cross Blue Shield.

Real insurance used to be ALOT cheaper than it is nowadays.

Don’t want to get off topic, but Jim Bob paid way less for a decent policy back then.  Used to be, you could get a family policy to cover all the kids, no matter how many you had.  Certainly, this was another thing the Duggars ruined for everyone else.

  • Love 3
23 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Real insurance used to be ALOT cheaper than it is nowadays.

Don’t want to get off topic, but Jim Bob paid way less for a decent policy back then.  Used to be, you could get a family policy to cover all the kids, no matter how many you had.  Certainly, this was another thing the Duggars ruined for everyone else.

I don't think that's true. It still covers all the kids depending on their age.  It's just the price went way up. 

  • Love 1
45 minutes ago, Temperance said:

I don't think that's true. It still covers all the kids depending on their age.  It's just the price went way up. 

I was talking back in the 80’s for group employer policies. Now, you’ve got to pay for every kid IIRC.  Doing the math makes it simply unaffordable for a family that size.  Boob would have to go on the individual market.

Average costi in Houston  of a silver policy for 2 people in their 50s is $1600/ mo .An employer group policy would probably not be any cheaper.

Edited by Arwen Evenstar
  • Love 1
3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

For the girls giving birth is their starring role. A role that they've been training and longing for since they can remember. What better way to be the Prima Fundy Woman than to sacrifice comfort and give birth at home?

What they fail to realize is that giving birth isn't just about them, its also about the health and well being of their new blessing. They would be seen with respect if they took care of their babies during pregnancies and births.

I'm guessing Joy isn't aware of the many options of childbirth and will just do whatever she is told to do when its time.

...or maybe they've just all misinterpreted the phrase "stay-at-home mother." I can't go to a hospital! Then I wouldn't be a SAHM, the way Pops Duggar, Terminally Deranged MOTY and Foot-Loving Lecher Bill Gothard said I should be! 

Edited by Churchhoney
  • Love 10

@Arwen Evenstar, it really depends on what your employer and employee representative have negotiated. My husband’s company does not have enough workers to justify such generous insurance benefits. But they have joined with other similar companies throughout the state. That is why they can afford the benefits. I worked  for the county here and the insurance is dismal. Even though the county is the largest employer. I never used the county insurance, it would have actually cost us to do that.

  • Love 2

Poor Joy.  As others have said, she'll likely just do what her headshit (thx @Arwen Evenstar) tells her to do.  I do hope he has more sense than to just go with Dr. Jill and a home delivery.  She looked way huge in the last pic I saw.

Kind of OT, but...as the mother of one child, it did irritate me that my co-workers paid the same insurance cost I did, no matter how many children they had.  After all, the bigger families got a tax exemption for each one of their 'blessings.'  No offense to anyone here with many kids...I doubt anyone on this forum has a double-digit family size.  

  • Love 11
1 hour ago, SMama said:

With our insurance we pay extra for the first child, subsequent children do not increase policy payments. 

That's how a lot of my employer's insurance policies have worked. I don't have kids and I'm not married, but I have seen the break downs. My current job is for a small company, we only have like 12 employees between 2 offices. Our insurance is based off of sex and age, and of course if you are married and have kids. One of the guys out of our office just claims himself, his wife has insurance thru her employer and I'm not sure how their kids are covered, but I know it's not thru him. Another has himself and his wife on his policy, but their 3 kids are on CHIP. The higher price to add one of the kids would be the same as if he added all 3 on the policy. We currently have a 50/50 split, but my last employer had a 75/25 split if you were single and claimed just your self. But the employees who were married and god forbid had kids were screwed with a 25/75 split. I know one guy who basically had to demand a raise or would have had to quit because the insurance was so outrageous for him, his wife, and kids. 

I have hopes Joy won't be stupid and try a home birth since Austin wasn't raised super fundie and hopefully his mother is doing her best to convince Joy other wise. Count me as another one who blames Anna for these home births. I think Jill and Jessa might have used real midwives and not Dr. Jill types if Anna wasn't popping out kids on the toilet. Michelle certainly had no issues going to the hospital. Unfortunately, I also think that until Jinger gets pregnant and has a nice birthing suite hospital delivery, nothing is going to change. 

I think Jessa and Jill would have tried home births without Anna's home birth. Jill has the idea she is a true expert on home deliveries, and she is a special snowflake where God would protect her and her baby from death. It may come down to money or the fact they would be called out by well trained medical professionals for their lack of good quality prenatal care aka Jill and the other bad midwives they use via not wanting to use hospitals for births.

Most of the insurance policies I've been aware of offered single, married couple and family, options. Size of family didn't change the cost. But they were offered through employers. How long was JB employed as a Realtor? Was he self-employed? As another poster mentioned, small businesses had to be creative back in the day and join the Chamber of Commerce or pool with other small businesses to find affordable health insurance, something I don't imagine JB did.

Austin's parents are both Fundy and self-employed so I'm wondering if they ever had health insurance. The ACA offers/requires insurance for all now, so there's no excuse for Joy and Austin not to be covered.

Anna would hardly be the only woman the Duggars know who has homebirths. There have always been fundies who do homebirths. And right now homebirths are a growing trend. Many women they might know from a church or from various gathering etc. might be having them. Jill probably went to quite a few homebirths while training to be a midwife. 

 One of my friends is college-educated and was talking about having a homebirth. She has better prenatal care, but it still makes me nervous. Her family seems normal, but is kind of fundie-lite and reminds of the Duggars. One of her friends is doula who likes the idea of a homebirth as well, but so far neither of these ladies have done it.  The doula has been at several homebirths, and actually talked about one where the woman had really fast labor (the point seemed to be encouraging others to have homebirths). 

Joy will probably have a homebirth if she can. 

Edited by Temperance
grammar
  • Love 3

I had always thought home birth would have been a cool thing to get to do, but I would have had my first in a hospital so I’d know what I was in for the first time around.  Or, it would have been an idea that I would have abandoned if the first time went awry or scared me. But, I never had an6 kids, so I guess I’ll never know.

  • Love 2

I suspect something went awry with Jill's attempted home birth of Sam....that is why they are so tight lipped regarding details.... I'm thinking she had a hysterectomy and if that gets out then Boobs whole image will be shattered.  I agree that Joy is too dam dumb to be in advocate for herself and unborn child...she will do as she is told....she will birth at home and give some purpose to Jill's dream of being a midwife....

  • Love 4
57 minutes ago, Caracoa1 said:

I suspect something went awry with Jill's attempted home birth of Sam....that is why they are so tight lipped regarding details.... I'm thinking she had a hysterectomy and if that gets out then Boobs whole image will be shattered.  I agree that Joy is too dam dumb to be in advocate for herself and unborn child...she will do as she is told....she will birth at home and give some purpose to Jill's dream of being a midwife....

I guess we’ll never know what happened during Sammy’s birth or what Jill was told by the doctors. First of all, it’s none of our damn business, even though we’re all wanting to know.  If it did get out, Boob and the Dullards would be eviscerated, if there was real medical evidence Jill endangered herself again.  

Jill just may not be built inside to deliver naturally.  You’re not guaranteed to be a Pez dispenser just because your mom is. Sorry, Muffy, it looks worse to be a midwife that didn’t get to the hospital before mecomium came out, than to be a midwife who isn’t built internally to deliver naturally.  We know how far she was willing to go to achieve her dream birth.

  • Love 14
33 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

I guess we’ll never know what happened during Sammy’s birth or what Jill was told by the doctors. First of all, it’s none of our damn business, even though we’re all wanting to know.  If it did get out, Boob and the Dullards would be eviscerated, if there was real medical evidence Jill endangered herself again.  

Jill just may not be built inside to deliver naturally.  You’re not guaranteed to be a Pez dispenser just because your mom is. Sorry, Muffy, it looks worse to be a midwife that didn’t get to the hospital before mecomium came out, than to be a midwife who isn’t built internally to deliver naturally.  We know how far she was willing to go to achieve her dream birth.

I've been wondering how it went over with TLC when they weren't allowed to show Samuel's birth footage.  It was probably hot stuff with lots of drama as Jill's decisions again left her in a dangerous situation.  Since TLC is already hampered with a lack of advertising for the show, I'd think they were quite unhappy about it.

  • Love 11
25 minutes ago, riverblue22 said:

I've been wondering how it went over with TLC when they weren't allowed to show Samuel's birth footage.  It was probably hot stuff with lots of drama as Jill's decisions again left her in a dangerous situation.  Since TLC is already hampered with a lack of advertising for the show, I'd think they were quite unhappy about it.

Add to that Derrick's banishment from TLC. It would have been fun to see Derrick's face blurred each time Jill had a contraction.

  • Love 8

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