S04.E06: For Richer Or Poorer

[Lola16]

8 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

  Nick on a surfboard was delicious to look at until I remembered that he's got all the enthusiasm of Michael Bloomberg speaking spanish at a press conference, about everything except his dogs.

OMG, you went THERE! Nick really seems to be holding it in. He was pretty much the same with his friends during his bachelor party.

7 hours ago, Nowhere said:

"This is my first time cooking for someone and he's a stranger. He's someone I just met under two weeks ago," said Lily who clearly doesn't know what a stranger is.

I think they get paid a bonus for every time they say "stranger".

2 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

I remember a while back there was an interview with one of the Bachelor producers, who was asked why most of the people appearing on the show were so young. The one exception was when they had Byron as the Bachelor - he said that they had a terrible time casting women for Byron's season because the majority had STDs. You can take what he said with a grain of salt, but I tend to believe him.

Anyway, if MAFS tests their applicants too (I hope they do!) that could definitely be weeding out a lot of folks, especially "older" ones.

So women over 30 all have STDs? #SMH Stop, just stop.

And, I highly doubt MAFS tests for anything.  Maybe, just maybe, it's a question on the application.

[Magoo]

Quote

I remember a while back there was an interview with one of the Bachelor producers, who was asked why most of the people appearing on the show were so young. The one exception was when they had Byron as the Bachelor - he said that they had a terrible time casting women for Byron's season because the majority had STDs.

I remember that and it's stuck with me, filed away in the "useless but weirdly interesting" section of my brain. I don't remember if it was people under 30, but if I remember correctly it was herpes, specifically.  Which I guess makes sense if the statistics are to be believed. But yeah, that would narrow the pool.  I would bet anything this show tests for STDs since the experts fairly pant in excitement and act like horny teenagers when they talk about the possibility of the couples getting intimate after the wedding. They wouldn't risk an easily won lawsuit by an unlucky bride or groom who got the gift that keeps on giving from their gameshow spouse. 

Edited September 2, 2016 by Drogo
Quote formatting

[Lola16]

15 hours ago, Magoo said:

I remember that and it's stuck with me, filed away in the "useless but weirdly interesting" section of my brain. I don't remember if it was people under 30, but if I remember correctly it was herpes, specifically.  Which I guess makes sense if the statistics are to be believed. But yeah, that would narrow the pool.  I would bet anything this show tests for STDs since the experts fairly pant in excitement and act like horny teenagers when they talk about the possibility of the couples getting intimate after the wedding. They wouldn't risk an easily won lawsuit by an unlucky bride or groom who got the gift that keeps on giving from their gameshow spouse. 

I don't know if they do STD testing on MAFS but a quick search pulls up a claim that they didn't in S2 and when the "experts" defended themselves for crapping matching, they never corrected that assertion. So take that for what it's worth.

http://starcasm.net/archives/319011

http://starcasm.net/archives/31896

Edited September 2, 2016 by Drogo
Report, don't engage.

[love2lovebadtv]

12 hours ago, kat12379 said:

I agree with this statement. Nowadays college rates (grad school especially) are through the roof and unless your parents are rich, then student loans are the way of life. To get a profession that requires an education, you will probably end up going into student loan debt. I have 80K in debt (fresh out of grad school), but I earn 68K a year for my first job. I also have 2 young kids in daycare, so it will take me longer to pay it off, but I have 20 years so I am not worried. I heard Lily say she went to University of Houston to study Anthropology but she never said that she graduated, so maybe thats why she doesnt have debt, so what I am saying is there is nothing to be ashamed of for having student loan debt, it means you are educated ;)

Not knocking you but I just wanted to point out that there are many educated people who are economically disadvantaged and qualify for other types of financial aid. Also, there are options for minimizing the cost of college. money qualify for grants.  There are also community colleges,  testing options like CLEP,  jobs and city universities. The NYU language proficiency exam alone is worth a whole semester of credits.  I am educated but I've never taken out a student loan. 

4 hours ago, kira28 said:

I would not call Sonia fat.  She looks fine.  She's not a bikini model but she's definitely not fat.  She has, a, bigger booty but appears to have a, flat stomach and she's gorgeous.  Of the three women she definitely has, the most beautiful face.   And the nicest hair.  I could understand nick not being attracted though.  Sometimes when ppl are very into fitness and eating healthy as nick appears to be they seek out thise same traits in a partner.  I used to love nick but I do not like the dog drama.  I get that those are his babies but even if he just has, a friendship with Sonia he should be more attentive to her fear of his dogs.  I totally got what she was saying about how the dogs bark alot and she's used to quiet.  I do like dogs and grew up with several of them but since I've lived on my own I've never had a dog of my own and when I visit friends or family that have dogs the barking and rough housing and yapping annoys me. 

I used to like Nick also but watching him kiss the dogs turned me off.  I know some people are cool with that. Sonia is a better woman than me for sitting through that. 

[Lily247]

28 minutes ago, love2lovebadtv said:

Not knocking you but I just wanted to point out that there are many educated people who are economically disadvantaged and qualify for other types of financial aid. Also, there are options for minimizing the cost of college. money qualify for grants.  There are also community colleges,  testing options like CLEP,  jobs and city universities. The NYU language proficiency exam alone is worth a whole semester of credits.  I am educated but I've never taken out a student loan. 

I used to like Nick also but watching him kiss the dogs turned me off.  I know some people are cool with that. Sonia is a better woman than me for sitting through that. 

Thank you for clarifying, however I should have specifically referred to grad/professional programs school. I come form an economically disadvantaged home and went through community college then a 4 year uni and didnt pay a dime due to a scholarship. I took loans for pharmacy school. For grad school I do not think anyone qualifies for federal financial aid from the FAFSA, they can only get federal/private loans, or sometimes a small grant from the school. Its been a couple years though so who knows

[WichitaStateShock]

For grad school, if it's decent you shouldn't pay a dime. Got a PhD while teaching undergraduate classes that waived my tuition and gave me a stipend. It's when people get graduate degrees from for profit colleges that it's an issue. (exception is medical and law school, but law school is actually not worth it anymore if you look into it).

[gingerandcloves]

I found a quote over on Fans of Reality TV that confirms what I said - apparently it was an interview Chris Harrison gave at some point, talking about the difficulty they had casting for Byron's season. I'd be pretty surprised if MAFS doesn't test for STDs but then again, maybe I shouldn't be.

Oh, I found this post over on a Reddit thread: "Chris Harrison once said in a radio interview that somewhere between 50-60% of candidates are eliminated by the STD panel portion of the application process, when candidates are 30 and younger. Something like 75% of candidates are eliminated when you kick that age range up to 35. It's crazy."

Edited September 2, 2016 by gingerandcloves

[seacliffsal]

I think that when the potential contestants fill out the applications for this show (or any show) they may try to portray themselves as more open and accepting about things than they really are.  Heather and her tolerance/intolerance for smoking has been mentioned, and I think the same may be true for Sonia and her fear of dogs.  Even during the wedding episode she told Nick she was a bit (or little) afraid of dogs.  Even in this most recent episode she acknowledged that she understated her fear of dogs to Nick.  She really needs to come out and tell Nick the extent of her fear and how he could support her moving forward.  Now, I think that would be the death blow to the 'marriage' but it may have already died.  I don't think he will get rid of his dogs as he is apparently much closer to them than to her.  But, he could make accommodations for the rest of the filming.  Unfortunately, I think that both Heather and Sonia understated some preferences/fears/etc. thinking they may not be cast if they answered with full truth.  However, I think both of their relationships are pretty much done anyway, so I guess maybe they got some level of 'fame' which may be what they really wanted.

It's probably not appropriate to reply to the Bachelor finding of women over 30 have STDs; if we put it into perspective, the producers found that women over 30 had STDs who were applying to be on their show.  That is a very different demographic from just women over 30 in general.

[Marsupial]

Quote

IMHO.  BTW, when I was a petite and curvy size 8 (and even a 10 or 12) I had absolutely NO trouble attracting men, and I'm not saying that to boast but make a point that thankfully a lot of men are not affected by this change in perception.  Before menopause I had to peel the men off of me - I think I had that certain "waist-hip ratio" that worked on their subconscious, LOL.  Of course I'm 58 now and it's not like that anymore!

Are you my shadow sister? I'm short too and pre-the big M, I was always a perfect size 8, small and curvy, and stayed there with little trouble; at one point when I was going to the gym a lot I got down to a 6, but I never lost my big hips or my big booty. I definitely would have been too fat for TV. Now, post menopause, let's just say it takes twice as much work to look half as good. Groan. Age is not kind to a woman.

Quote

What body?  IMO he's just "there," he's certainly no Dwayne Johnson.

Oh, you had to bring the Rock into this. Now I can't think straight LOL.

[Snarklepuss]

54 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

I think that when the potential contestants fill out the applications for this show (or any show) they may try to portray themselves as more open and accepting about things than they really are.  Heather and her tolerance/intolerance for smoking has been mentioned, and I think the same may be true for Sonia and her fear of dogs.  Even during the wedding episode she told Nick she was a bit (or little) afraid of dogs.  Even in this most recent episode she acknowledged that she understated her fear of dogs to Nick.  She really needs to come out and tell Nick the extent of her fear and how he could support her moving forward.  Now, I think that would be the death blow to the 'marriage' but it may have already died.  I don't think he will get rid of his dogs as he is apparently much closer to them than to her.  But, he could make accommodations for the rest of the filming.  Unfortunately, I think that both Heather and Sonia understated some preferences/fears/etc. thinking they may not be cast if they answered with full truth.  However, I think both of their relationships are pretty much done anyway, so I guess maybe they got some level of 'fame' which may be what they really wanted.

ITA about the female contestants minimizing their selectiveness on the questionnaires.  They know how much competition they have and how few male candidates there are compared to female, so they don't want to seem too picky lest they not be chosen for the show.  It's a real issue for young women in general, not even on this show.  I hate to see them feeling that they have to compromise based on things that should be deal breakers to them.  On this show, though, they are also competing to be on TV so there is another additional motivation here.  To that I say, "Oh well, too bad".

About the dogs, I just have to comment on that.  Is it me or do a disproportionate number of contestants on this show own dogs or cats?  I just checked the national statistics on that and in 2011 30% of households own cats while 36% own dogs (and I know some households have both).  Considering how young these people are and the fact that pet ownership is lower in households without children, and pet ownership peaks in the 35-44 age bracket, I would think it should be much easier to find a young, single guy for Sonia that didn't own a dog, or any contestant that didn't own a pet.  I think it's more than coincidence that Sonia has a fear of dogs and Nick has not one, but TWO of them that he is crazy about.  It's almost like the show KNOWS it's messing with Sonia's head and is trying to create drama - I don't remember hearing anything about her not mentioning her fear of dogs beforehand.  And even if she didn't,  I think the show knows that cute pets are an attraction for viewers and tends to favor contestants with them.  I mean Zeus is the cutest thing ever. 

I hate how this show puts some of the women in a bad spot and then puts the onus on THEM to speak up about it.  Even if they didn't ask specifically not to be matched with a dog owner/pot smoker it's still not fair to expect them to speak up or just deal with it with a person they only just met.  People get down on them for not speaking up but how many women do I know that would just come right out and slap a guy in the face with her issue with something right after meeting him?  Even worse in this case, after first meeting and MARRYING them?  I think the tendency would be to want to avoid that as much as possible while still making and forming an impression.  OK, Heather confronted Derek right away and then she got a destructive reaction from him and was called a picky bitch by the public!  It's a no-win situation, especially for the women on this show, IMHO.

Edited September 2, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[nlkm9]

11 hours ago, kira28 said:

I would not call Sonia fat.  She looks fine.  She's not a bikini model but she's definitely not fat.  She has, a, bigger booty but appears to have a, flat stomach and she's gorgeous.  Of the three women she definitely has, the most beautiful face.   And the nicest hair.  I could understand nick not being attracted though.  Sometimes when ppl are very into fitness and eating healthy as nick appears to be they seek out thise same traits in a partner.  I used to love nick but I do not like the dog drama.  I get that those are his babies but even if he just has, a friendship with Sonia he should be more attentive to her fear of his dogs.  I totally got what she was saying about how the dogs bark alot and she's used to quiet.  I do like dogs and grew up with several of them but since I've lived on my own I've never had a dog of my own and when I visit friends or family that have dogs the barking and rough housing and yapping annoys me. 

never said fat--I said she is a big girl---the average american woman is a size 14--so who said anything about fat?? I happen to think she is very pretty and looks great but do not think Nick is attracted to her. and his indifference about her feelings about the dogs really bothered me. And I hate how derek always has his hats on backwards and whines about everything. 

4 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

I found a quote over on Fans of Reality TV that confirms what I said - apparently it was an interview Chris Harrison gave at some point, talking about the difficulty they had casting for Byron's season. I'd be pretty surprised if MAFS doesn't test for STDs but then again, maybe I shouldn't be.

Oh, I found this post over on a Reddit thread: "Chris Harrison once said in a radio interview that somewhere between 50-60% of candidates are eliminated by the STD panel portion of the application process, when candidates are 30 and younger. Something like 75% of candidates are eliminated when you kick that age range up to 35. It's crazy."

Id be curious to know what STDS they test for. HPV is a virus that can be in your system for years and test positive when your immune system is run down..

[Snarklepuss]

7 hours ago, love2lovebadtv said:

I used to like Nick also but watching him kiss the dogs turned me off.  I know some people are cool with that. Sonia is a better woman than me for sitting through that. 

I know I agree, and I love dogs, grew up with them, mother was into them and groomed them, we went to dog shows, etc., they slept in bed with me, were members of the family, etc....but face licking like that?  Never!  Ugh, I draw the line there.  I can just imagine how poor Sonia felt given her feelings about dogs.  I told a story last season about an internet date I had where the guy was tongue kissing with his dog incessantly to the point where it really creeped me out.  And again, I'm a dog LOVER from way back!  So I can just imagine how grossed out Sonia was!

[ZaldamoWilder]

14 hours ago, nlkm9 said:

I respectfully disagree--she is WAYYY bigger than a size 8, she is a big girl, and Nick is in excellent shape--its very possible that he is not attracted to a larger woman. I can wear a size 8 and she is a good 30-40 lbs bigger than me-I know its very fashionable to be accepting of all body types, but I really think he is just completely unattracted to her(and there is nothing wrong with that--everyone has a physical type)....I sort of hope they can fall for each other, but to me the dog issue is the biggest issue here--he didnt seem to care at all that she is uncomfortable around dogs and that made me like him a lot less.

Except that, here, you're referring to Sonia.   The post you quoted refers to Lily, the woman whose neck meat we'd been discussing for about 5 pages.  

13 hours ago, Neurochick said:

WTF?  Excuse me but Sonia does NOT look like a "big girl" to me.  I think that people today have been conditioned to think that a size 00 is normal and anything larger than a size 5 is OBESE.  No wonder women have eating disorders in this country; this policing of women's bodies has got to stop.  

But if we're going to talk about women's bodies, then we have to talk about the men and IMO, Nick is nothing to write home about; he's as bland as mayonnaise on Wonder bread as for his body?   What body?  IMO he's just "there," he's certainly no Dwayne Johnson.

This.  Girl hello and goodbye!   Do I need to start my rant about Beyonce being considered "plus" size?   sheeeiiiiiit.

11 hours ago, BunnySlippers said:

 

I agree with these. Sonia is not a "big girl." She's busty, but she's not fat. Definitely not obese. Not everybody can be tall and thin, and there's no reason to make people feel bad if they are not. I totally agree with Neurochick that this kind of attitude and social pressure is extremely harmful to women and it has to stop.

Also, a woman's worth is not tied to her looks and how well she can cater to her man. Just because someone is not a swimsuit model doesn't mean that a man cannot appreciate her and fall in love with her.

Personally I think she's voluptuous but her measurements didn't strike me as disproportionate enough to even register.  When this is over, I hope she needs help sorting through the ton of messages from the scores of men (and some women lol) who appreciate thickums.   All the dudes whom I've ever heard talk about this say don't nobody want a bone but a dog, so she needn't study Nick's slow passionless Niles Crane ass any further, she won't be single for long.   The only reason the entire conversation bothered me at all was because we were discussing the likelihood of a girl who is a single digit size being one newborn away from teetering on the brink of obesity.   As though fat is the worst fucking thing in the world, A.   Disregarding that physiologically it's actually a good thing to grow the baby she'll have with her next husband, B.  and as if she's even close today, C.

9 hours ago, Lola16 said:

OMG, you went THERE! Nick really seems to be holding it in. He was pretty much the same with his friends during his bachelor party.

I think they get paid a bonus for every time they say "stranger".

So women over 30 all have STDs? #SMH Stop, just stop.

And, I highly doubt MAFS tests for anything.  Maybe, just maybe, it's a question on the application.

Sorry to bubble burst, statistically this is more likely than not.    Somebody upthread mentioned herpes as an example.  That's 1 out of 4.  Just living long enough will do it.

13 hours ago, KateHearts said:

Are we talking about Sonya? Good lord, you (and others) describe her as if she's massively obese!  She's petite and curvy; she is in no way a "big girl"!  Nick is not a big guy and she's shorter than him; no way would I call her "big".  At all.

that's because the phrase "the experiment" was completely burned out in the last two seasons.

Zalda, your post was excellent. I must, however, take issue with those who refer to themselves as a "fur parent" and their animals as "fur-babies."  Ack.

Lol!  ok babe, I'm educable, is it offensive, corny, gauche.     Furry-Americans?  Tell me ;)

[cardigirl]

5 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

I know I agree, and I love dogs, grew up with them, mother was into them and groomed them, we went to dog shows, etc., they slept in bed with me, were members of the family, etc....but face licking like that?  Never!  Ugh, I draw the line there.  I can just imagine how poor Sonia felt given her feelings about dogs.  I told a story last season about an internet date I had where the guy was tongue kissing with his dog incessantly to the point where it really creeped me out.  And again, I'm a dog LOVER from way back!  So I can just imagine how grossed out Sonia was!

Totally agree with you, I give dogs smooches, but on the top of their heads, never on the mouth.  Ack pooey!  I have a friend who posted a picture of herself being licked on the mouth by her doggie on FB, and I was nauseated.  Ughh!  I had to hide it.  I love dogs, they are the best, but they lick themselves in all the wrong places, so not going to go for that!

Edited September 2, 2016 by cardigirl

[cardigirl]

10 hours ago, Lola16 said:

So women over 30 all have STDs? #SMH Stop, just stop.

And, I highly doubt MAFS tests for anything.  Maybe, just maybe, it's a question on the application.

Do any states still require blood tests to get a marriage license?  Since these are "authentic, real, legally-binding" marriages, I imagine they would have to follow Florida's legalities regarding marriage. 

Edited to add:  http://www.stateofflorida.com/getting-married-in-florida.aspx  Blood tests are not required.  

Edited September 2, 2016 by cardigirl

[nlkm9]

Are we talking about Sonya? Good lord, you (and others) describe her as if she's massively obese!  She's petite and curvy; she is in no way a "big girl"!  Nick is not a big guy and she's shorter than him; no way would I call her "big".  At all.

 

again, I never ever said the word "fat" or "obese". someone else said chubby. I said she is a "big girl", not fat, obese...etc...petite she is not, sorry., curvy yes.  Again, the average american woman is a size 14, so she is of an average size. I do believe she carries it very well, but Nick just may not be feeling attracted to her. And I am not one of those people who thinks anything over 00 is fat. Did someone say beyonce is plus size? That I find surprising!

[okerry]

11 hours ago, Magoo said:

I remember that and it's stuck with me, filed away in the "useless but weirdly interesting" section of my brain. I don't remember if it was people under 30, but if I remember correctly it was herpes, specifically.  Which I guess makes sense if the statistics are to be believed. But yeah, that would narrow the pool.  I would bet anything this show tests for STDs since the experts fairly pant in excitement and act like horny teenagers when they talk about the possibility of the couples getting intimate after the wedding. They wouldn't risk an easily won lawsuit by an unlucky bride or groom who got the gift that keeps on giving from their gameshow spouse. 

"Gameshow Spouse" lolol. I'm keeping that one!

[Jellybeans]

I can't believe we are discussing if Sonia is obese, fat, overweight (insert your choice of adjective) but then again I can't believe we are assigning numerical values to their bodies, faces, etc... but I guess that is me.  

I am more intrigued by things the producers choose to show us. Why are they setting up fake drama?  And what is real?  

[okerry]

3 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

I know I agree, and I love dogs, grew up with them, mother was into them and groomed them, we went to dog shows, etc., they slept in bed with me, were members of the family, etc....but face licking like that?  Never!  Ugh, I draw the line there.  I can just imagine how poor Sonia felt given her feelings about dogs.  I told a story last season about an internet date I had where the guy was tongue kissing with his dog incessantly to the point where it really creeped me out.  And again, I'm a dog LOVER from way back!  So I can just imagine how grossed out Sonia was!

Dogs who put their feet on a person and start licking the person's face are showing dominance, not affection. It's not cute and should not be allowed. Everybody needs manners - adults, kids, and pets. Even my cats know that some things are not allowed, and they do just fine with a few house rules. Better, I think, because much like little kids they're more secure when they know what's okay and what's not.

Nick is being a jerk by letting his dogs act like that with anyone, let alone his new wife who is nervous around dogs. 

[KateHearts]

26 minutes ago, nlkm9 said:

again, I never ever said the word "fat" or "obese". someone else said chubby. I said she is a "big girl", not fat, obese...etc...petite she is not, sorry., curvy yes.  Again, the average american woman is a size 14, so she is of an average size. I do believe she carries it very well, but Nick just may not be feeling attracted to her. And I am not one of those people who thinks anything over 00 is fat. Did someone say beyonce is plus size? That I find surprising!

She is not big.  She looks like she barely tops 5'2". She is not "average," if you are talking about the American average of a size 14.  I don't know how you could even deduce this from looking at her on TV, but she doesn't appear very tall (i.e., she is petite). Petite doesn't mean tiny; it means shorter.  So a woman can be petite *and* curvy.

[okerry]

2 hours ago, cardigirl said:

Do any states still require blood tests to get a marriage license?  Since these are "authentic, real, legally-binding" marriages, I imagine they would have to follow Florida's legalities regarding marriage. 

Edited to add:  http://www.stateofflorida.com/getting-married-in-florida.aspx  Blood tests are not required.  

I don't think anyplace requires blood tests (for STDs) to get married any longer. If they did, almost no one could get legally married.

[cardigirl]

30 minutes ago, okerry said:

I don't think anyplace requires blood tests (for STDs) to get married any longer. If they did, almost no one could get legally married.

Yeah, I'm really old.  Ha ha.    

[Neurochick]

21 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Nick on a surfboard was delicious to look at until I remembered that he's got all the enthusiasm of Michael Bloomberg speaking spanish at a press conference, about everything except his dogs.

Yikes, the memory of those press conferences.... But I didn't even think Nick was delicious to look at, to me he kind of blended into the surfboard.

 

Quote

I hate how this show puts some of the women in a bad spot and then puts the onus on THEM to speak up about it.  Even if they didn't ask specifically not to be matched with a dog owner/pot smoker it's still not fair to expect them to speak up or just deal with it with a person they only just met.  People get down on them for not speaking up but how many women do I know that would just come right out and slap a guy in the face with her issue with something right after meeting him? 

I have to disagree with this.  I think that if something is wrong, you should say something.  If you say nothing, then people will assume you're okay with it.  Many women are brought up to be "nice," you know, "if you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything."  That doesn't work in relationships.  

Maybe this was the problem with Heather.  Maybe PC was trying to get Heather to say just what her issue was with Derek and Heather didn't want to say it with a camera in her face.  

Edited September 2, 2016 by Neurochick

[ctbabe]

12 hours ago, Lola16 said:

Um, I don't know what's up with your post but you put someone else's post and attributed it to me.  And I completely disagree with that so please edit it.

I don't know if they do STD testing on MAFS but a quick search pulls up a claim that they didn't in S2 and when the "experts" defended themselves for crapping matching, they never corrected that assertion. So take that for what it's worth.

http://starcasm.net/archives/319011

http://starcasm.net/archives/31896

They did correct the assertion on reality bee's blog. 

[CindyK]

1 hour ago, okerry said:

Dogs who put their feet on a person and start licking the person's face are showing dominance, not affection. It's not cute and should not be allowed. Everybody needs manners - adults, kids, and pets. Even my cats know that some things are not allowed, and they do just fine with a few house rules. Better, I think, because much like little kids they're more secure when they know what's okay and what's not.

Nick is being a jerk by letting his dogs act like that with anyone, let alone his new wife who is nervous around dogs. 

I agree. I was surprised he didn't try to ease her into the situation. It's the respectful thing to do when you know the other person has a serious fear.

[psychoticstate]

17 hours ago, Neurochick said:

WTF?  Excuse me but Sonia does NOT look like a "big girl" to me.  I think that people today have been conditioned to think that a size 00 is normal and anything larger than a size 5 is OBESE.  No wonder women have eating disorders in this country; this policing of women's bodies has got to stop.  

But if we're going to talk about women's bodies, then we have to talk about the men and IMO, Nick is nothing to write home about; he's as bland as mayonnaise on Wonder bread as for his body?   What body?  IMO he's just "there," he's certainly no Dwayne Johnson.

I think Sonia is an attractive girl and she's healthy in appearance.  I'm not a man but I would think I would prefer a healthy girl who eats and has some curves versus a stick figure with a bobblehead.  

Regardless, I would never say she's chubby, chunky or "big." 

14 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I can't imagine Nick is gay and just going on this show to promote his business. When it comes out that he is gay I think he'd lose a lot of business for being dishonest. No one will want to work with an asshole like that. But, who knows?

I can't stand that pastor!  He kept badgering heather and I think she was very wise in saying she needs to sleep on it and that now when she is at her most frazzled is not the time to make a big decision like that. Most counsellors know that. 

When Pastor said everyone has the same kinds of problems that Derrick and Hearher have I had to scoff.  Not all couples have the type of problems they have because presumably there is some initial attraction that brings them together. Even if it wanes you have history to build on. Not everyone goes through contempt and juvenile behavior and possible drug use or major value differences from the get go. Admittedly, some do but to make it sound like their problems are typical of married couples is bs. 

I do agree that most relationships eventually have issues that may be similar to Heather and Derek but not normally within 24 hours of meeting someone.  Their situation is obviously completely different than most people because they are married.  If these issues had come up while dating, they would have a different atmosphere in which to decide to work through them/give and take while continuing to date or break up.  I do think it's a bad sign that Heather said on day two or three that if she and Derek had gone on a first date, there wouldn't be a second. 

[bichonblitz]

Nick should have put on his application "Dealbreaker- MUST LOVE DOGS!"  Sonia should have put "Dealbreaker-DEATHLY AFRAID OF DOGS"! 

If they didn't do that , then they both need to stfu about the dog situation, and make the best of it. If they did do that, then what kind of assholes are these marriage experts/coaches/therapists or what ever they are called to match these two up? 

Regarding Sonia and her weight issue ( I don't happen to think there is one ):

1. She may look heavy on camera, I know when I was  thin I always looked chunky in pictures. Some people just translate different on camera. 

2. Living in south Florida (and I will add California to the mix as well), you are always dressed with little clothing. There is nothing to hide any imperfection. It sucks, and it's usually like that all 12 months of the year. There are no scarves, sweaters, jackets, coats, thick pants to cover up with. People here are super critical of bodies because they can see and judge everything always. Sonia probably looks perfectly fine IRL. 

[Passthepopcorn]

On 9/1/2016 at 1:58 PM, Neurochick said:

I still don't get what's wrong with Pastor Calvin.  I don't find him a bully; I didn't think he was shouting at Heather.  Maybe I'm watching a different show that most of the people here.  

I didn't find it particularly out of place either, taking into account the context. I think he is talking to them as a married couple, because that is the intent of the show "in theory" (I know they want to make money and make it entertaining). If the pastor or any other helper said: "well you guys get a pass because this is not a real marriage and you barely know each other" then it becomes a date, it takes the marriage commitment out of the equation. Things are not taken as seriously as they want it to be taken. Or at least to look as serious as they want it to look.

I do agree that they could have let them go home and sleep a night, then meet the following day though. But they might have been hoping for tears. Tears sell.

Edited September 2, 2016 by Passthepopcorn

[Evil Queen]

42 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Nick should have put on his application "Dealbreaker- MUST LOVE DOGS!"  Sonia should have put "Dealbreaker-DEATHLY AFRAID OF DOGS"! 

If they didn't do that , then they both need to stfu about the dog situation, and make the best of it. If they did do that, then what kind of assholes are these marriage experts/coaches/therapists or what ever they are called to match these two up? 

 

2. Living in south Florida (and I will add California to the mix as well), you are always dressed with little clothing. There is nothing to hide any imperfection. It sucks, and it's usually like that all 12 months of the year. There are no scarves, sweaters, jackets, coats, thick pants to cover up with. People here are super critical of bodies because they can see and judge everything always. Sonia probably looks perfectly fine IRL. 

Well at this point we know they love matching people more to fix the one with issues or using that as the reason for matching people...instead of really matching those that have more in common and not for their issues to "fix" each other. At the end of the day they rather cast for drama though than for anything else. 

And agree about what you said...I'm in a beach city in California. Sure we have times we get cool enough to throw on some pants and a hoodie/sweater but for the most part its how we run around here. I always find it funny when it is cool enough for a hoodie and I see people with scarfs, gloves and snow jackets. Its not that cold. You see all shapes and sizes running around in things to be comfy in with the warmer weather. You will see some with weight that shouldn't be in certain outfits and you will see some overly skinny where things that they shouldn't either. Yet when you live with it around you and grow up in this kind of place, it really doesn't bug you to much IMO. Its those that aren't used to it that are sometimes the worse at being critical over it all and what they are seeing. IMO Sonia there is nothing wrong with Sonia. Lily looks fine too...my only issue with Lily is when she is making her faces she does in her THs. Those bug me. LOL 

Edited September 2, 2016 by Evil Queen

[Aethera]

Hello all.

We have gotten a record number of reports from this topic in the last few days, about various issues.  Since the new version of the forums doesn't allow us to pin a post at the top of each page, and the mod notes are clearly getting missed or ignored, we've reached the point where we've decided to lock this topic for the few hours, so that everyone has a chance to read the following:

1. STOP posting spoilers or additional information that you got from somewhere OTHER than the episode in the episode threads. If it's from Unfiltereds, use that thread. If it's from social media, news, an interview you saw online, whatever, use the Spoilers Thread. We're not saying this because we're compulsive, we're saying it because many, many readers here have requested that non-episode talk be kept out of the episode threads. Please respect your fellow posters on this.

2. We're not the Nice Police - posters are allowed to insult the participants, criticize their looks, say they'd never marry someone so fat/thin/stupid/snooty etc. It may be mean, shallow or crass, but that's not against the rules. HOWEVER, if it takes over the thread, or crosses the decency line (we know it when we see it) we'll step in. If you see posts you don't like, scroll by them, or set those posters to Ignore so you won't see them anymore. We're all big boys and girls, we can handle opinions with which we do not agree.  

3. A post or two that's off-topic is ok. Again, if it derails the whole thread, we'll step in. But it's ok if someone wants to bring up how something on The Bachelor is related to what's going on in the episode, or how they experienced something similar to the situation in the episode in their personal life. That's the nature of Married at First Sight - many of us have related experiences. If it bores you, scroll by it. 

And lastly, and most important: BE NICE TO EACH OTHER. Discuss the show, not other posters. Report issues, don't engage on them. And if you think a group of posters is being dumb/lame/pointlessly obsessive, keep it to yourself, please!

 

I'll come back and unlock the thread in a while, once everyone's had a chance to read this.  Feel free to shoot @Drogo and @aethera a PM if you have questions.

[Snarklepuss]

11 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I have to disagree with this.  I think that if something is wrong, you should say something.  If you say nothing, then people will assume you're okay with it.  Many women are brought up to be "nice," you know, "if you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything."  That doesn't work in relationships. 

Under normal circumstances I agree with you.  But when two people first meet I don't think it's the time nor the circumstance to be completely out on the table about things that bother them about each other.   If people jump too soon into that stuff any romance that might have happened between them will never take hold.  People can get the wrong impression, get all sensitive and become defensive like Derek did.  I personally would take a "wait and see" attitude during the first couple of weeks and concentrate on commonalities that we share.  After a time if I felt that those potential issues really needed to be addressed I would do it, but I'd still be very careful and tactful on how I approached it.  It's probably just as bad to wait too long to open up about it, too.

I think what happened with Heather is that Derek's behavior was so unacceptable to her that she couldn't keep quiet about it and had to say something right away.  Plus, I still think there was more to it that we didn't see on screen.  No one likes to have a confrontation right after they've met someone when they're hoping to have nice experiences and find romance and a marriage, so IMO whatever it was had to be pretty bad in her mind.

11 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Maybe this was the problem with Heather.  Maybe PC was trying to get Heather to say just what her issue was with Derek and Heather didn't want to say it with a camera in her face.  

Yeah, I agree, but if it was really about something she couldn't talk about on camera, I can imagine that it would be difficult for her to figure out a way to present it publicly.  So she just didn't do it in front of PC and us.  I can't blame her for that if that's the case.  But I think she had absolutely NO problem confronting Derek about it in private (some of which we saw on the show) after she had had enough and was so down and negative about the relationship as a result that she didn't care if she hit him between the eyes with both barrels.  Of course, that's never a constructive way to deal with anything and it's likely to wreck a relationship before it has a chance to take hold, but I still think she may have had a good reason for not caring if that happened.

Edited September 3, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[Blissfool]

It just occurred to me that the house Nick and Sonia rented could be one of Nick's Airbnbs. 

[nlkm9]

thinking about the post before about women thinking if they seem to picky they wont get on the show. Im soooo curious to know if Sonia put on her application "afraid of dogs" or not. If they ignored this, that is absolutely terrible. with that being said, Sonia told Nick she was uncomfortable with dogs and he did nothing to make the transition easier (unless that was editing). As far as Heather and Derek , I absolutley think when she made the statement "this is what you want to show me when we just met" was the having to smoke weed everyday. She seems hard to please, and does give me an Ashley from last season vibe, but I just cant with his endless parade of matching backward hats and whinieness and he is very confrontational. Just a terrible match all around, in my opinion. But she did seem to be trying but just quickly realized it was going to be one series of arguments after another. I find them both difiicult....Tom and Lily? ehhh. Something about him bugs me.But I do have to chuckle, her talking about cooking for a stranger, uh hello you are having sex with the guy--that is not a stranger!!

[humbleopinion]

Lily, hasn't Tom earned the upgrade to "acquaintance" after banging you a few times?

If you are letting him that up close and personal to your private parts then the "he is a stranger" ship has sailed.

[watch2much]

I remember Heather's reply to Derek saying he didn't have a passport.  She said "well you're going to have to get one" referring to her travel perks, I assume.  So she, at that point, was trying.  His saying they "didn't even cuddle" the first night might be a clue.  Cuddling in bed with someone you only met a few hours ago seems weird.  I wouldn't want to do it. Leads me to believe advances were made and words were said, on top of the weed issue, and maybe why he felt the need to smoke the next morning.  Derek never considered she needed time to become affectionate.  He seemed to think the marriage vow meant it was full speed ahead physically and he took her reticence as rejection.

[Evil Queen]

11 hours ago, Blissfool said:

It just occurred to me that the house Nick and Sonia rented could be one of Nick's Airbnbs. 

Which would be wrong on so many levels if it was to be one of his rentals. Yet wouldn't surprise me either with how he has pushed his shirts. 

[Jack Sampson]

13 minutes ago, watch2much said:

I remember Heather's reply to Derek saying he didn't have a passport.  She said "well you're going to have to get one" referring to her travel perks, I assume.  So she, at that point, was trying.  His saying they "didn't even cuddle" the first night might be a clue.  Cuddling in bed with someone you only met a few hours ago seems weird.  I wouldn't want to do it. Leads me to believe advances were made and words were said, on top of the weed issue, and maybe why he felt the need to smoke the next morning.  Derek never considered she needed time to become affectionate.  He seemed to think the marriage vow meant it was full speed ahead physically and he took her reticence as rejection.

Have you ever had a one night stand?  It's pretty routine to have sex and cuddle for a while after knowing the person for only a few hours.  A party girl like Heather has been in that situation many, many times.  The only difference this time is that she wasn't drunk.

[jamblastx]

1 hour ago, watch2much said:

I remember Heather's reply to Derek saying he didn't have a passport.  She said "well you're going to have to get one" referring to her travel perks, I assume.  So she, at that point, was trying.  His saying they "didn't even cuddle" the first night might be a clue.  Cuddling in bed with someone you only met a few hours ago seems weird.  I wouldn't want to do it. Leads me to believe advances were made and words were said, on top of the weed issue, and maybe why he felt the need to smoke the next morning.  Derek never considered she needed time to become affectionate.  He seemed to think the marriage vow meant it was full speed ahead physically and he took her reticence as rejection.

On more than a few occasions he acted as if because they were now married that somehow got him a FastPass* to her vag.

*FastPass is a trademark of the Disney Corporation and can only be used on certain popular Disney attractions and not for coitus with your 'wife'

[Vinyasa]

Quote

Lily, hasn't Tom earned the upgrade to "acquaintance" after banging you a few times?

If you are letting him that up close and personal to your private parts then the "he is a stranger" ship has sailed.

And since you got a tour of the bus, shouldn't that bring the upgrade from "acquaintance" to "casual friend"?

[jamblastx]

13 minutes ago, Vinyasa said:

And since you got a tour of the bus, shouldn't that bring the upgrade from "acquaintance" to "casual friend"?

She may be now enrolled in Greyhound's frequent rider program for that upgrade

[Gem 10]

So Lily said "Oh my Gosh, I'm cooking for a stranger".   Really darling? ... You've only been having sex with him for the last week .. Ditz!

[Jellybeans]

3 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

Which would be wrong on so many levels if it was to be one of his rentals. Yet wouldn't surprise me either with how he has pushed his shirts. 

I don't see a problem. The reason being, his rentals are part of what makes Nick, Nick.  Nothing wrong with that.

Now if he starts holding up a sign saying $200 a night, then...

[nlkm9]

100% I belive Derek had a bad attitude and. Hissy fit because heather didn't have sex With him and  he didn't smoke that day after their argument about it . He acted like a jerk! And is the backward hat a new style ??

i think he's one of those who thinks " hey I'm married, time for sex" lol

Edited September 3, 2016 by nlkm9
Misteke

[candall]

On ‎8‎/‎31‎/‎2016 at 4:34 PM, Lola16 said:

Didn't he say that "last" year he made 60K?  Not as in that he makes that much every year.  Which really isn't that much.  He had to buy the bus, update it (that had to cost at least $20), pay trailer park rental fees, other bills, surfing stuff, going out, etc. Does he have a car? Does he ride a bike? Uber? Doubt he drives his bus all over though he did say he takes it out for road trips.

??

Sorry, but I'm looking at a guy who lives in a crappy rundown bus with panels of plywood tacked up inside.  No kids to support, no pets to pamper, a modest "wardrobe" budget, no extravagant hobbies--I can't even think of many passions where it's possible to be more economic than surfing.  Once the basic piece of equipment is acquired, there's no admission charge to the venue and no ongoing usage expense like greens fees.  All the action is self-propelled and boards don't even wear out with the regularity of running shoes.  How much is a can of wax?

He might or might not have a car, but there's no evidence of a Lamborghini sitting around.

If a self-declared "non-materialistic" person such as this makes SIXTY GRAND and is still accruing debt--there's a large puzzle piece missing from the narrative. 

Edited September 4, 2016 by candall
What's a "SIXTRY"?

[Neurochick]

5 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

Which would be wrong on so many levels if it was to be one of his rentals. Yet wouldn't surprise me either with how he has pushed his shirts. 

I don't feel it's wrong for Nick or anybody else to promote their business on this show.  After all, the producers and network are making money off of them.

[Vinyasa]

This show doesn't need to turn into a giant infomercial.   Nick should not be allowed to wear those Section 8 shirts endlessly.

Edited September 3, 2016 by Vinyasa

[Nowhere]

1 minute ago, Neurochick said:

I don't feel it's wrong for Nick or anybody else to promote their business on this show.  After all, the producers and network are making money off of them.

I don't think it's wrong in general either but I think it makes it seem like he signed up for the wrong reasons. Even though the network is making money off of him and he's getting a salary, there still should be that illusion that all of these people really just want to be married and find love. When I see constant advertisement for his businesses, it makes me question that. I don't think that's the kind of impression we're supposed to be getting. The whole point is that the audience thinks this is a real experiment with real experts and real people looking for the love of their lives. IMO anybody who goes on a reality show of any kind is looking for money, fame, or promotion of some kind of business. You're not going to find real love on a reality show. Or I should say it's extremely rare. But don't shove in our faces the fact that you signed up to get rich. It takes away the believability of this being the real thing. 

For example, I just thought of this, we all know Lily is a real estate agent in Miami. She said it. We all heard. If I want to buy a house in Miami I'd remember and I can look her up. But if in every fucking episode she was wearing a t-shirt about it, I'd know what her real motivation was. And guess what, I probably won't call her to sell me a house because I'd find her disingenuous. I don't see anyone else doing as much advertising as Nick. Matter of fact, I haven't seen any advertising by any of the other participants.

[Neurochick]

45 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

The whole point is that the audience thinks this is a real experiment with real experts and real people looking for the love of their lives.

I wonder if that's even true anymore.

I think that now most people know that reality shows aren't 100% real.

[ethalfrida]

3 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I wonder if that's even true anymore.

I think that now most people know that reality shows aren't 100% real.

I think it's true that some don't realize it isn't real. You can tell by the way these discussions go... and not just for this show.

[Enero]

5 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I wonder if that's even true anymore.

I think that now most people know that reality shows aren't 100% real.

Agreed. I think very few people buy into the illusion. I think a lot fans are watching due to the drama and train wreck factor. Considering how many of these shows are a colossal failure when it comes to finding "the one," I'd be shocked if anyone actually believed that these shows were still about love and finding a spouse, if they ever were.