S06.E03: Don't Panic

[geekamonggeeks]

When Tyler and Cate were having their argument over the adoption, Tyler told Cate, "All you care about is seeing Carly!" He said this in a really accusatory tone, like it was an awful thing that she just wanted contact with Carly and was---God forbid---willing to listen to and work with Brandon and Teresa to keep that happening. Cate has stayed with him after he's said and done some terrible stuff, but this takes the cake. How she could stay with the man who so blatantly and carelessly is jeopardizing her relationship with the child she placed is beyond me. 

[mamadrama]

8 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

But B&T made this deal with both of them, and now they're reneging, and only telling Catelynn.  

Tyler sounds like such a blow-hard when he says no one can censor him, he has a voice, etc..., but he's not wrong.  I totally get why B&T want to end their participation with the show, but I don't think it's ok for them to tell Tyler (and Cate) what THEY can and can't talk about on the show.  And worse, to blackmail them with threats about Carly if they don't heed their warning.  It's manipulation at best, censorship at worst.  

They made one deal-to be in what appeared to be a one-time, one-hour documentary. As many others have pointed out, they had no idea it was going to turn into this ongoing thing. As far as them only talking to Cate...that is a courtesy. They do not have to speak to either one of them or even give them a warning. They COULD just send pictures through an attorney. I have cut off friends for posting pix and videos of my kids on FB without my permission. I do not see this as any different. Carly is a minor.

[geekamonggeeks]

5 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

They made one deal-to be in what appeared to be a one-time, one-hour documentary. As many others have pointed out, they had no idea it was going to turn into this ongoing thing. As far as them only talking to Cate...that is a courtesy. They do not have to speak to either one of them or even give them a warning. They COULD just send pictures through an attorney. I have cut off friends for posting pix and videos of my kids on FB without my permission. I do not see this as any different. Carly is a minor.

Carly would very much like to be excluded from Tyler's narrative, one she never asked to be a part of. 

[Ljohnson1987]

Amber: Why would you marry someone whose mother you haven't met? Use your head! Matt is a leach, and is only with you, because of your money. 

Catelynn: Can you please tell Tyler that Carly is not his daughter? She is Brandon and Teresa's child. They have the right to make decisions for her.  Tyler is kind of a bitch this season. I wonder if Brandon and Teresa are going to close the adoption. If they don't want their lives filmed, maybe it'd be for the best.

 

Maci: Stop lying! You were pregnant last season, and drank. She just had a baby not even a year ago, you'd think she'd know that she was knocked up again. Ever heard of a condom?

 

Farrah: Please stop calling Sophia's dad Daddy Derek. Derek is fine. 

[dorcastrilling]

Those pictures of Farrah in the old family album? Sophia is the exact image of the little girl her mother was.

[eskimo]

Hey Tyler, the rest of us get by just fine without projecting our 'voices' on TV.  You will, too.  Talk to your close friends and family about your feelings.  That is what people do.

When it comes to what C&T talk about on the show regarding their adoption journey, I think their feelings about the process and aftermath are OK.  Specific stories about their visits, or Carly, Brandon and Theresa, not OK.  Example:  "I wonder what our lives would be like now if we'd kept Carly"=OK.  "Carly ran towards me and called me 'dad'."  or "B & T are so mean, they won't let us broadcast things that affect their personal lives on cable TV"=NOT OK.  This moron does not get the difference.  THEIR journey is life without Carly.  B&T have been very gracious in letting them have anything at all.  Even in an open adoption the adoptive parents have the right to cut out contact.  Like it or not.  Some adoptive parents will just cut it off for no reason, but that is not B&T.  I feel like they have bent over backwards to NOT cut C&T out.  They are getting fed up, and rightfully so.  If I was in their shoes, one call to my place of employment from a crazed fan, because of something you said on TV, we're done till you grow up.

[Ljohnson1987]

Tyler's job on Teen Mom OG is to bitch about Brandon and  Teresa. He doesn't do much else. 

[imjagain]

I didn't understand Amber's anger towards Farrah,  she said Farrah was stirring stuff up?  Huh? Farrah didn't do anything.  Farrah  called to see how she was doing, Farrah almost seemed normal during the phone call with Amber.  

The  tabloid wrote about Matt  trying to get a Teen Mom, lol.  Any Teen Mom obviously .  I doubt Janelle or Farrah put the magazine upto the story. 

[politichick]

I don't blame Brandon and Theresa for limiting their contact with Tyler. He is an unreasonable, angry, ignorant media whore and they don't even fucking like him. I think the only reason they haven't shut this shit totally down is that Theresa genuinely and deeply cares about Caitlyn. Too bad she can't convince the poor girl to dump Tyler. He also is starting to get a little pudgy. His face looked all puffy.

Is Farrah on some new meds? I like the way she tried to not be such a bitch--although I only saw half of the episode. 

Maci must think the world is is as fucking stupid as she is.  And acting all put-upon because she has to plan a wedding and is five months pregnant. I ff through her scenes whenever possible.

Amber: smarten up. Matt is a loser and a leech. She killed me when bragging about the 6 carats on her finger. They looked cheap and fake and how the hell do you think he could afford it any damn how? Another one who thinks we're stupid. And what happened to flipping hosues?

[Brooklynista]

Who do these chicks think they're impressing?  Am I supposed to swoon over Amber's ring that she bought herself?  Matt ain't got no damn job! He didn't buy her anything??  Farrah was dumb enough to tell us she bought her own ring.  Amber is trying to convince us Matt bought hers.  He cant buy a stick of gum.  And that's a snazzy little sports car he's driving as well. 

Perhaps I need to drop my husband and latch on to one of these idiot girls.

[geekamonggeeks]

20 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

Who do these chicks think they're impressing?  Am I supposed to swoon over Amber's ring that she bought herself?  Matt ain't got no damn job! He didn't buy her anything??  Farrah was dumb enough to tell us she bought her own ring.  Amber is trying to convince us Matt bought hers.  He cant buy a stick of gum.  And that's a snazzy little sports car he's driving as well. 

Perhaps I need to drop my husband and latch on to one of these idiot girls.

Man, you beat me to it. I totally thought Amber bought that ring herself. Between no job and paying back all that child support he owes. Matt probably couldn't even afford to buy her a Ring Pop let alone ~diamonds~. 

[Zeebreezy]

13 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

As a person who was adopted, along with my siblings, I find it appalling that B&T's child is referenced as Cate and Tyler's child. The two people who created me made a choice. They gave me up. They were NOT my parents. The people who adopted me are the two people who cared for me, loved me, kissed me goodnight, clothed me, tended to me, put a roof over my head, worked their asses off to pay for all that we had, paid for my schooling, stayed awake at night when I was ill, took me to the doctor when I needed it, gave me discipline when I deserved it, and all the things that parents do 24/7 365 days out of the year. Those are parents. Being a parent is more than dropping sperm and giving birth.

You can bet that my parents had every right to call the shots the way they saw fit. If the two people who created me tried to come back into my life and lay any claim on me, they would have been shown the door. I have never had a desire to know those people. They have no rights to me or my life.

This!!!! I too am adopted but it is an interfamily adoption. So when extended family members see me and my birth mother in the same room at functions they love to comment to her about how I'm her daughter and how much I look like her. Mind you I'm 37 years old.  The good thing is that my birth mother always acknowledges that she isn't my mother and that Ann is my mother.  It is so disrespectful to my parents that raised me since a baby, took care of me, emotionally, financially and everything in between to disregard them as my parents because I am not theirs biologically.  It takes more than simply giving birth or sharing DNA to be a parent.  I wish more people understood this.

[BravoAddict72]

14 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

 

I get it, and I don't disagree about your views on Tyler, but just like Cate and Tyler have to accept a lot of limits on their relationship with Carly and B&T, I feel like B&T made a deal, too (an open adoption, Teen Mom, agreeing to make it public...). They're free to change their mind as things have evolved over the years, but they signed on to this knowing that a teen mom and her boyfriend put their baby up for adoption and would talk about their "journey" on tv, so if you're going to change the rules, I think it's only fair to communicate this to both of them, even if they find Tyler difficult to talk to.  Yes, Catelynn is more sensible, but she's also kind of weak and a push-over, and Theresa knows this, and takes advantage of it by only speaking to one of them about an issue that matters to both of them.  Plus, I think it stinks the way they threaten to keep Carly away from them if they don't abide by their rules.  Sorry, but that's blackmail, and it involves their daughter, and it's cruel.  

I don't see it as blackmail at all. Carly is their biological child, but she is not their daughter. They gave her up for adoption and have no legal rights to her. I am not convinced it is healthy for any of them to still see each other. It seems to me like they act like Carly is away at summer camp and she will be home for them to raise as soon as she is 18. B&T are her parents, not Cate and Tyler. B&T have every right to make the rules since they are her parents.

[Cherry Cola]

Alexa is gorgeous! Cate is a pretty girl, but she looks so rough and sad.  Nova is precious.  Sophia looks just like Farrah did.  I always thought she looked like "daddy Derrick". 

[peskipiksi]

22 minutes ago, BravoAddict72 said:

I don't see it as blackmail at all. Carly is their biological child, but she is not their daughter. They gave her up for adoption and have no legal rights to her. I am not convinced it is healthy for any of them to still see each other. It seems to me like they act like Carly is away at summer camp and she will be home for them to raise as soon as she is 18. B&T are her parents, not Cate and Tyler. B&T have every right to make the rules since they are her parents.

Exactly.  B&T are setting down rules, as they have a right to do, and Cate and Tyler are free to take it or leave it as they wish.  There are consequences to violating the boundaries B&T are setting down, but since the rules and requests they are making are in no sense unreasonable, that's on C&T.

B&T are simply putting the best interests of their child higher than the "need" C&T have to talk about the situation in the media.  It's not even a close comparison, and any rational adult should be able to see that.  Cate is able to, but apparently Tyler is not.

[Uncle JUICE]

How long have I been saying open adoptions are more dangerous than they are beneficial! (Not that you know, but it's been a long time, ever sincee I saw the faceblanket tapestry). These two are nuts, but differently: Tyler thinks those people owe him something (he said as much, 'we gave them a family', I mean what an absolute dick!) and Catelynn thinks this is all just find and she'll be able to have all this stuff. Bottom line is they need the TV show more than BT need them, they better figure it out. By the way, that could could give a shit if you never show up again, because she's not sitting in her room lamenting why she isn't with the two of you. 

And the Matt / Amber stuff is ALL bizarre. Does no one mention that Amber clearly bought her own ring? Because there's no way Matt can pay for it, if he had any sort of traceable income (forget credit!) it'd be garnished out the ass. Meeting his cousin whom he'd not seen in a decade, that seems normal to Amber? Not his parents?

But seriously, Gary, what the fuck is going on here? I had to pause it and take a picture of it.  WHAT sort of diet creates a skin secretion that literally EATS THROUGH LEATHER? It's disgusting! Look at where his head rests! And why in god's name can't he just get another chair??? What happens more: Farrah gets a yeast infection, or Gary gets gout?

[msblossom]

12 hours ago, Zuleikha said:

Legally, Carly is Brandon and Theresa's daughter in that B&T have all of the legal powers of parents. But emotionally, none of us can really say how Carly will view her relationship with Cate and Tyler. Different kids feel different ways about adoption. There's no one size fits all. I feel skeptical that Carly will feel much of a pull towards Cate and Tyler because their lives look to be a hot mess, but who knows. Maybe by the time Carly is old enough to really question her origins, Cate and Tyler will be in a better place. Miracles happen.

As an adoptee, I agree with this. I don't consider my biological parents my parents. Never have, never will. I did meet my bio mom and half siblings when I was about 25. I felt a lot of pressure to maintain a relationship that I wasn't interested in maintaining, so about 10 years later I stopped responding to calls and letters. A part of me feels some guilt, but I always made it clear I wasn't interested in the level of intimate or familial relationship to the extent that she was. I would have been fine with exchanging cards around the holidays and maybe having a short visit every 5 years or so. I was slightly more interested in my half brothers and their kids, but obviously I wouldn't pursue that and leave her out. My disinterest in her had nothing to do with giving me up for adoption. It stems more from the pressure she put on our "relationship".  I'm so grateful that I was raised in the family I was raised in. My parents are my parents, they've both passed, but no one will ever or could ever take their place as my folks. My brother is my brother. He couldn't be more of a brother to me if he were my flesh and blood.

No one but Carly will know how she will relate to C & T as she becomes of age, but from my experience the more pressure a bio parent places on a child the less that child will respond in kind. 

[eskimo]

I would LOVE to know what B&T are thinking today, after watching last nights episode.  Tyler's (paraphrasing) "It doesn't hurt me, it hurts Carly.  They have to look at a sad little girl and tell her why she can't see me."  So basically he's saying that Carly cares far more for him than he does for her.  And I agree with the rest of you who have expressed doubt that Carly would even notice.  I mean, WE all know he cares more about having a storyline than anything, but he obviously does not realize just how transparent he really is. 

I'm also losing sympathy for Cate, regarding Tyler and B&T.  If he's fucking with something so dear to her then she needs to quit being a crybaby about it and stand up to him.  Tell him that she will continue visits with Carly (providing B&T agree) whether Tyler is allowed to or not.  And she will not discuss Carly with him at all.  If he cares about what she's up to, then he'd quit being a little bitch and do what it takes to have that. 

Finally, Gary.  Gary, Gary, Gary.  Leah is too old for you to be telling stories, on TV, of when she ate cat shit as a baby.  Right or wrong, some kids at her school probably watch this show.  Sometimes all it takes is one embarrassing story...

[GreatKazu]

Quote

Finally, Gary.  Gary, Gary, Gary.  Leah is too old for you to be telling stories, on TV, of when she ate cat shit as a baby.  Right or wrong, some kids at her school probably watch this show.  Sometimes all it takes is one embarrassing story...

I think at this stage of the show Leah would rather have kids know she ate cat shit as a baby than to have kids watch her mother on this show as she is in denial about Dead Beat Matt who is so questionable in so many ways I lost count.

LOL @ Leah having eaten cat shit. Shocker? Not in the least. I am sure it was all over the place and Amber was asleep somewhere when this happened.

[evilmindatwork]

14 hours ago, Katt said:

Why is Maci freaking out about how young her babies are AND planning a wedding? Go to the bloody courthouse or wait a couple of years! Cheesy Fries, girl!
A few of us have discussed our weddings on here and I think most of us were more concerned about the marriage than the poofy dress and subsequent debt. Stop acting like a martyr. It isn't a bloody act of parliament, FFS!

But Maci only wants to get married so she can have a wedding! Courthouse marriages don't count. 

[butterbody]

5 hours ago, dorcastrilling said:

Those pictures of Farrah in the old family album? Sophia is the exact image of the little girl her mother was.

Right?! I was shocked. It's like how when Leah is with Gary and she looks exactly like him, then they cut to Amber and she looks just like her. I always thought Sofia was unfortunate looking because of her father's masculine features but turns out, little Farrah was herself a troll doll. 

[geekamonggeeks]

1 hour ago, msblossom said:

No one but Carly will know how she will relate to C & T as she becomes of age, but from my experience the more pressure a bio parent places on a child the less that child will respond in kind. 

This is what really bugs me about Tyler using the show to go on his rants about how unfair he thinks Brandon and Teresa are being. Tyler thinks that he has a lot of importance in Carly's life right now, that he has a huge impact on this little girl he only sees once a year. He has to know that Carly will see this show someday---whether she seeks it out on her own, or her friends or parents show her---and I think he thinks that his rants will endear her to him, make her see that he was the only one who cared about her well-being when her mean old adoptive parents were thinking about cutting him lose and when her clueless birth mother was all too willing to appease their tyranny. All those ravings about how Tyler is only one who is considering Carly's feelings could be used to manipulate her farther down the line when she gets old enough to understand the circumstances behind her adoption better. He could easily tell her, "See, Carly? See? I was the only one thinking about how you would feel! It was all me!"

The thing that Tyler does not get is that Carly may not feel that way when she sees the show. She could easily see last night's episode and all the other episodes when Tyler badmouthed her parents and think, "This assclown says he loves me yet he disrespects my mom and dad, wishes he had given me to somebody else? What the hell?" She could be put off by his rants and not want anything to do with him when she gets old enough to make that decision herself. Just because Carly likes visiting Tyler at seven does not mean she'll like visiting him when she's seventeen. Hell, she could cut him off not because of the awful crap he said but just because she doesn't feel the need to keep tabs with her birth parents and their families. I feel like Tyler (and, to an extent, Catelynn) don't completely realize that Carly may not want a relationship with them once she's a legal adult or even before then. She has her own life and they aren't a part of it like they want to be. Tyler using the show to go on rants against B&T certainly aren't helping their case one bit. While nobody can say how Carly will feel or what she'll want to do in a few years, Tyler putting pressure on her already may not win her over like he expects. 

Edited August 29, 2016 by geekamonggeeks

[LotusFlower]

2 hours ago, BravoAddict72 said:

I don't see it as blackmail at all. Carly is their biological child, but she is not their daughter. They gave her up for adoption and have no legal rights to her. I am not convinced it is healthy for any of them to still see each other. It seems to me like they act like Carly is away at summer camp and she will be home for them to raise as soon as she is 18. B&T are her parents, not Cate and Tyler. B&T have every right to make the rules since they are her parents.

I absolutely agree that B&T are Carly's parents and have all parental rights and can set all the rules and boundaries, including closing the adoption if they want to.  The "rules" I was referring to in my earlier post was Theresa's new rule disallowing Cate and Tyler to talk about them anymore.  I understand where she's coming from, and I even agree with her about ending their participation on the show.  I just don't think it's ok to tell Catelynn and Tyler what they can and can't talk about, and worse, tell them they won't see Carly again if they don't abide.  That's what I called blackmail (if you don't do this, then I'll do such-and-such).  Are they within their rights to make these rules and issue threats?  Of course.  But I think it could have been handled better.  

[poopchute]

But they aren't telling what they can and can't talk about, just what they can't talk about for the one week a mont the show films.  They can talk about Carly as much as they want, just not on camera.

 

The mention of Carly as a teenager a few posts above made me wonder: who will get a job first, Carly or Tyler and Catelyn?

[geekamonggeeks]

28 minutes ago, poopchute said:

But they aren't telling what they can and can't talk about, just what they can't talk about for the one week a mont the show films.  They can talk about Carly as much as they want, just not on camera.

 

Exactly. It's not like the show is being filmed 24/7 so they literally don't have a moment of privacy to discuss the adoption. They're only on camera a few times a month. Tyler and his stupid pompadour can survive. 

I can see Carly getting a really well-paying career and then Catelynn and Tyler trying to hit her up for handouts like their families undoubtedly do to them. They'll need the money to buy more pot and chicken quesadillas and old lady hats and puffy vests and God knows what else. 

[LotusFlower]

16 minutes ago, poopchute said:

But they aren't telling what they can and can't talk about, just what they can't talk about for the one week a mont the show films.  They can talk about Carly as much as they want, just not on camera.

That's what I meant (talking about their feelings and the adoption on the show).  Frankly, even though the show is way past its expiration date and is now about 99% fake (Maci's "shock" pregnancy announcement...please), sometimes there are scenes that are truly real, and go to the heart of what this show was supposed to be about.  I remember once when Catelynn went to some sort of support group for women who put a baby up for adoption, and while I wish I could remember what she said, I at least remember how raw and honest she was, and I thought it was pretty illuminating.  I also remember a grandmother was there, and talked about her sadness and feelings about not ever meeting or knowing her grandchild, and that, too, was interesting and illuminating to me.  I don't think I ever considered that a grandparent's feelings could run so deep, and for so long.  I just think that there's value in hearing Cate and Tyler's feelings about things as the years pass, even more so now that they have a child of their own, which I would think would raise a lot of new feelings about Carly and the adoption.

[GreatKazu]

1 hour ago, LotusFlower said:

I absolutely agree that B&T are Carly's parents and have all parental rights and can set all the rules and boundaries, including closing the adoption if they want to.  The "rules" I was referring to in my earlier post was Theresa's new rule disallowing Cate and Tyler to talk about them anymore.  I understand where she's coming from, and I even agree with her about ending their participation on the show.  I just don't think it's ok to tell Catelynn and Tyler what they can and can't talk about, and worse, tell them they won't see Carly again if they don't abide.  That's what I called blackmail (if you don't do this, then I'll do such-and-such).  Are they within their rights to make these rules and issue threats?  Of course.  But I think it could have been handled better.  

The same way Toxic Tyler handled the adoption by threatening to leave Catelynn if she didn't give up Carly? And all the other threats he has made over the years to her?  Maybe he should think about how it feels to have someone threaten him with something for a change just to get an idea of how it feels. To me, what B&T are doing is not threatening as much as it is out of concern for their daughter.  They have every legal right to close that adoption and say "Bye bitches" to C&T. I actually wish they would. But I don't want to see Catelynn hurt because her husband can't control his emotions.

Switching to a different topic.

Farrah, again, surprised me on last night's episode. That is three episodes now. She actually hugged her mom! I was afraid she was going to do a Margaret White (the mother in the film "Carrie") by pulling out a knife and stabbing Debra in the back. I then thought the scene was staged. Gah!! I guess I want to believe for a moment Farrah was having legit feelings.

Farrah did resemble her daughter in her toddler photos, except Sophia has her father's mouth. There is no denying that is Derrick's child.

Was that Farrah's cousin or a paid extra?

I have no fucks to give about Maci.

Amber calls off the wedding. Matt is working overtime trying to get her to marry him, even if it is a quickie at some cheesy chapel.

Edited August 29, 2016 by GreatKazu

[CofCinci]

Was Daddy Derick's step-mother trying to con a new car out of Farrah?

[msblossom]

You almost have to wonder if Farrah hired a PR person who is coaching her behavior for this season's show, because she is totally acting out of character. It would almost make sense since she uses the show to launch her career further than TM, and she's very aware how hated she's been. Sort of reminds me of the 180 Camille Grammer did on Housewives of BH. She was, at the time, the most hated hw in history of all the hw franchises. She hired a PR person and went from total bitch hitting on married men to convincingly humble and kind. 

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

Teen Mom's Farrah Can't Decide If She's More Afraid Of Her Mom Or A Colonoscopy

Meanwhile: Amber gets a new ring, Maci gets a pretending-to-be-new bump, and Tyler throws the same old hissyfit.

[eskimo]

3 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

 I just don't think it's ok to tell Catelynn and Tyler what they can and can't talk about, and worse, tell them they won't see Carly again if they don't abide. 

Well if someone is taking private things public, and you don't like it, the most reasonable thing to do is to cut them out of your life.  Then they have nothing new to say about you.  It was a warning they were given.  Not blackmail.  You can even call it a threat if you want.  Whatever you want to call it, it's the thing that will happen if you don't quit disrespecting other people.  If you break into my house, I'm going to warn you (or threaten, if you prefer that term) that I have a gun.  If you don't heed that warning, I'm going to use it.  That is how warnings work.  It benefits both parties.  I don't have to shoot someone, and you don't have to get shot.

[geekamonggeeks]

Adoptions are built on mutual trust and respect. Tyler repeatedly disrespects Brandon and Teresa, and has said insanely shitty and hurtful things about them. A couple times he has said he wishes he had placed Carly with another couple. He also tries to passively use Carly against them by indirectly telling them through his rants that Carly will be sad and hurt if she loses contact with him and B&T will be the ones to blame---or, worse, Carly will turn against them in favor of her birth parents. That;s not how an adoption should work, and the fact that it's on TV and Tyler has these crazy fans encouraging his douchebaggery only make things worse. B&T no longer trust Tyler because they realize that he will twist every little thing they say and do into this huge vendetta against him. I don't know if it's because Cate gives him a watered-down version or not. but he always gets ragey and self-entitled whenever they make a decision he doesn't like. Tyler clearly sees B&T as a threat and has made it clear he doesn't trust them, either. They've gone above and beyond for the last seven years and he continues to shit all over them. Enough is enough. 

[TaxNerd]

6 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

How long have I been saying open adoptions are more dangerous than they are beneficial! (Not that you know, but it's been a long time, ever since I saw the faceblanket tapestry). ...

Ah yes, the tapestry travesty of 2012!

[geekamonggeeks]

I'm glad the giant Carly blanket still lives on in this "fandom". That was incredibly surreal, even all these years later. 

[dabronx]

@LotusFlower I don't really see B&T as using no contact with Carly as a threat per se. I see it as clearly communicating strong consequences if Catelynn and Tyler do not respect B&T exercising their rights as Carly's parents to protect her from impact of having her bio-parents constantly yammering about her on television. I'd say it was threatening and manipulating if they were talking about withholding any access unless Catelynn and Tyler indeed painted the house tan, or converted to their church, or learned how to fly or something. But in the context of them really no longer wanting my daughters name coming out their mouth on camera doesn't seem manipulative. B&T aren't trying to leverage something out of C&T they are trying to protect their girl.

But I am totes in agreement that they should have spoke to both C&T at same time or separately once they decided to have this conversation by phone. For whatever reason Catelynn has put on filter or different attitudes during calls with B&T and then in repeating conversations with Tyler.  It's not B&Ts obligation to speak to both of them but I think it'd work out better in the long run if they did. But in the end they're still nicer then me as I would have had my lawyer send certified  double stamped processed registered returned receipt letters to these chucklefucks outlining this and requesting date/time when no filming was taking place to discuss further and I would have done it about 8 seasons ago.

[MissMel]

Or Brandon and Theresa could just speak to Tyler in a language he understands. Something along the lines of: 'Shut the fuck up about my kid. Or you'll never see her/hear from me again. Got it?'

It probably wouldn't hurt if Cate followed it by telling him he's being a selfish asshole, too. 

[Marisagf]

On August 28, 2016 at 9:34 PM, EmeraldGirl said:

Ok, wtf is going on with Amber's style? I just caught the scene of her wearing the scarf and sunglasses ala Lana Turner and it's just too awesome. 

That look was everything! 

Edited August 30, 2016 by Marisagf

[LotusFlower]

5 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

The same way Toxic Tyler handled the adoption by threatening to leave Catelynn if she didn't give up Carly? And all the other threats he has made over the years to her?  Maybe he should think about how it feels to have someone threaten him with something for a change just to get an idea of how it feels. 

I hear ya, but two wrongs don't make a right.

 

3 hours ago, eskimo said:

Well if someone is taking private things public, and you don't like it, the most reasonable thing to do is to cut them out of your life.  Then they have nothing new to say about you.  It was a warning they were given.  Not blackmail.  You can even call it a threat if you want.  Whatever you want to call it, it's the thing that will happen if you don't quit disrespecting other people.  If you break into my house, I'm going to warn you (or threaten, if you prefer that term) that I have a gun.  If you don't heed that warning, I'm going to use it.  That is how warnings work.  It benefits both parties.  I don't have to shoot someone, and you don't have to get shot.

But since when is the adoption a private matter?  It's not, and it never has been.  If B&T now want it to be, I totally get that, and they should discuss the issue of privacy with both Catelynn and Tyler.  I also don't agree that the most reasonable thing to do in such a matter is to cut someone out of your life when there's a disagreement.  I think talking about it and trying to reach an understanding should always be the first step.

[geekamonggeeks]

5 minutes ago, LotusFlower said:

I hear ya, but two wrongs don't make a right.

 

But since when is the adoption a private matter?  It's not, and it never has been.  If B&T now want it to be, I totally get that, and they should discuss the issue of privacy with both Catelynn and Tyler.  I also don't agree that the most reasonable thing to do in such a matter is to cut someone out of your life when there's a disagreement.  I think talking about it and trying to reach an understanding should always be the first step.

Brandon and Teresa tried to establish an understanding a couple seasons ago when they confronted Tyler about his posting the Carly video online. Brandon even threw Tyler a bone and said he understood why Tyler felt frustrated abut not being able to share Carly's photos. But it wasn't good enough for Tyler, given that he's once again getting angry over the same old petty bullshit. I mean, B&T have slowly been bringing Carly out of the public eye for about three years now. They stopped letting their meetings be filmed and stopped letting Carly's pictures be shown both on and off "Teen Mom". Teresa told Catelynn and Tyler that she and Brandon would be more open if it weren't for the cameras. Not being allowed to discuss their meetings with B&T or what's going on with their adoption seems like the logical next step. Catelynn and Tyler have spent seven years talking about it. Everybody watching the show knows what they did for Carly. It's pretty much run its course on this series. 

Edited August 30, 2016 by geekamonggeeks

[LotusFlower]

2 hours ago, dabronx said:

@LotusFlower I don't really see B&T as using no contact with Carly as a threat per se. I see it as clearly communicating strong consequences if Catelynn and Tyler do not respect B&T exercising their rights as Carly's parents to protect her from impact of having her bio-parents constantly yammering about her on television. I'd say it was threatening and manipulating if they were talking about withholding any access unless Catelynn and Tyler indeed painted the house tan, or converted to their church, or learned how to fly or something. But in the context of them really no longer wanting my daughters name coming out their mouth on camera doesn't seem manipulative. B&T aren't trying to leverage something out of C&T they are trying to protect their girl.

But I am totes in agreement that they should have spoke to both C&T at same time or separately once they decided to have this conversation by phone. For whatever reason Catelynn has put on filter or different attitudes during calls with B&T and then in repeating conversations with Tyler.  It's not B&Ts obligation to speak to both of them but I think it'd work out better in the long run if they did. But in the end they're still nicer then me as I would have had my lawyer send certified  double stamped processed registered returned receipt letters to these chucklefucks outlining this and requesting date/time when no filming was taking place to discuss further and I would have done it about 8 seasons ago.

I appreciate your post, esp. the second graph, where you articulated well what I've been trying to say.  Catelynn has such a complicated dynamic with Tyler that she conveys things and communicates with him in such a way that's different from how she is with everybody else, and it really exacerbates things.  She really didn't provide any context for Tyler to understand Theresa's requests, and that's what set him off.  Plus, Tyler likes to show off in front of the cameras, but I bet if Theresa had spoken to both of them about the matter, he likely would have had a more reasonable reaction.  

 

6 minutes ago, geekamonggeeks said:

 Teresa told Catelynn and Tyler that she and Brandon would be more open if it weren't for the cameras. 

Is that true?  I didn't know that.  That makes me see things differently.  Even though I still think there's value in hearing about how a mom feels about giving up her baby even years later, I agree that the show is played out.  Which brings up an important point about this discussion.  I don't think anyone doubts that the majority of time Cate and Tyler talk about Carly, it's because the producers told them to.  Let's face it - it's their job, it's why they're on the show.  So if B&T are restricting visits and talk and filming re: Carly, I see it more as a problem for MTV as opposed to Tyler.  The producers are all about narrative.  Sure, there's Nova, and Butch, and Tyler's Great American Novel to focus on, but giving up Carly was their raison d'etre for being on the show.  But the show has jumped the shark long ago, so maybe it's not such a big deal.

[DoctorWhovian]

Carly is B&T's kid, end of story. They have no obligation to keep the adoption open. If they think this kind of exposure is bad for Carly then they should close the adoption, unless Catelynn and Tyler can keep Carly's face and details about her off the show. It just bugs me how blatantly disrespectful they are to the whole thing. They have a daughter: love her and show her the attention they want to give to Carly.

Did anyone else notice the huge difference between Nova and Jayde? Jayde is dressed cute and bathed and Nova just seems kind of greasy and dirty.

Maci obviously knew she was pregnant longer, and whatever reason she had for hiding it is her own and seems ridiculous now. But I feel like of all things that have been done on this show, it's not the worst. I understand some amount that she may want to keep things private, or just not wanting every detail out there. Still stupid to lie about now.

Amber needs to open her eyes to Matt. Everything has a convenient excuse which just screams red flag. Plus that house is so fucking dirty. All those poor dogs just running around like some herd. 

Farrah came across better but I still hate looking at her fake face. That whole family is one long play act.

[geekamonggeeks]

9 minutes ago, LotusFlower said:

Is that true?  I didn't know that.  That makes me see things differently.  Even though I still think there's value in hearing about how a mom feels about giving up her baby even years later, I agree that the show is played out.  Which brings up an important point about this discussion.  I don't think anyone doubts that the majority of time Cate and Tyler talk about Carly, it's because the producers told them to.  Let's face it - it's their job, it's why they're on the show.  So if B&T are restricting visits and talk and filming re: Carly, I see it more as a problem for MTV as opposed to Tyler.  The producers are all about narrative.  Sure, there's Nova, and Butch, and Tyler's Great American Novel to focus on, but giving up Carly was their raison d'etre for being on the show.  But the show has jumped the shark long ago, so maybe it's not such a big deal.

Yep. Tyler point-blank asked them if they would have more contact if not for the cameras, and Teresa said, "Yes, we would." Now, she and Brandon have restricted contact over the years, but that's normal in most adoptions. I don't think Catelynn and Tyler were prepared for the restrictions because Dawn misled them about what to expect from the situation. For example, they thought they would get to know everything about B&T before the adoption was finalized; several months later, C&T were throwing a fit because they didn't know Carly's last name or hometown. Dawn let them believe they were going to have a lot more contact later down the road, so they were completely blindsided when it didn't happen. Granted, their being public figures has undoubtedly influenced many of Brandon and Teresa's decisions regarding contact and exposure, but I think a lot of C&T's issues stem from two facts: that Dawn lied to them, and that they failed to get any kind of adequate therapy to cope with their trauma and grief. Then there's the fact that Dawn had C&T and B&T meet in the first place despite the fact that the former wanted an open adoption and the latter wanted a closed one, which just raised so many red flags. Even though they compromised, somebody was bound to get upset in the end because the situation was set to fail from the beginning. 

[shouldbedancing]

Did Macy hide her pregnancy for the storyline, because her life is really boring? Was she embarassed that her fiance banged her as soon as Jayde was out of there? I guess we'll never know, but she's huge. It's ridiculous.

I guess Farrah is calming down but she's still pretty insufferable to me. What was up with the colonoscopy, I missed why that was a thing.

I agree with whoever said Matt's fam were paid actors. It was obvious they just wanted to be on TV. Life just gets in the way for ten years. Yeah, sure...

This ep felt like Teen Mom OG: Damage Control. Everyone wants to control their own narratives but like... manhandle them into place. Matt cutting everyone off with his speeches about how everyone lies about him. Maci with her fake pregnancy everlasting. Farrah expositing how her relationship with her mom is so much better (and cuts mom off rudely while explaining). Tyler demanding that his life's work is to tell his truth and that includes Carly while Catelynn just quietly has a nervous breakdown on the couch. I really liked the "4th wall" element last season, seeing the produces and raw conversations but now it's getting to be a little too much.

Edited August 30, 2016 by shouldbedancing

[iheartla]

This is Tyler's hate of authority. If you say black, he says white. If you say up, he says down. If you say, don't talk about Carly on TV, he's going to talk about Carly on TV even if it means sacrificing visits. I can't stand him. It's pure disrespect coming from that boy.

If anything, Carly and Nova might connect one day, but that's not certain either. They are being raised with very opposing family values and traditions and might not have much in common. Sadly, I could see adult Nova asking adult Carly for money. I truly hope Catelynn can get herself together and for Tyler to humble himself. They have a little girl watching them and looking up to them as guidance and so far it's not looking great.

 Their storyline is sitting in the orange room, complaining and whining. Nova is toddling around by herself, usually half dressed.  

Edited August 30, 2016 by iheartla

[Christina]

Tyler was anything but reasonable when they spoke to him face to face after he posted the photos. He said something about them having her photo on the front of a magazine discussing the adoption. If I recall, it was a family photo of the four of them. Theresa told him that it was because she was their daughter and they had a story to tell about adoption. What didn't air, but was probably said, was that his crazed fans were stalkers.  She was old enough to be in school and going on field trips, etc, and they were concerned for her safety because of the actions of TM fans. It seems like everyone agrees that Tyler is an immature hot-head.

Maci denied her pregnancy because she was drinking like a fish throughout it. We discussed it last season because she was clearly trying to hide her pregnancy, and she shows when she gains 10 lbs. I'd be insulted about being lied to, but at this point in time, it's expected from this show.

[mamadrama]

I imagine we didn't get the whole story with this conversation with Theresa, either. My guess is that neither she nor Brandon would have a problem with T&C talking about their personal journey, their feelings about their choice, etc. What they probably DON'T want is them on national television telling "Carly stories", like the "Daddy" mishap at the wedding. There is a fine line there, and Tyler (especially) crosses it a lot. 

In the aftermath of losing my son I blogged on my grief blog almost every day. I talked about deeply personal things: how I was feeling, the steps we were taking to overcome our grief, etc. However, one night a friend came to stay with me because I was having a rough evening. The next morning she posted on FB: Mamadrama was feeling suicidal last night so I am at her house, taking care of her. That was NOT cool. It was one thing for ME to talk about my feelings; I didn't want her blasting my "suicidal thoughts" to the world. (Which, by the way, wasn't even true.) I talked to her about this. Over the course of the following year, however, she continued crossing boundaries with me and my husband. I eventually had to end the friendship. 

Someone above mentioned that when Cate told Tyler about her conversation with Theresa she didn't give him the whole story or whatever. We don't REALLY know that, though. Who knows what all she told Tyler on the phone. Thanks to the editing, we only see about 10% of what really goes on. 

Matt is actually scary to me. Simon is funny-bad. Matt is scary-bad. When I see his scenes I think "abuser." He is VERY controlling of his environment and, consequently, of Amber. He redirects conversations others try to have with her, he deflects & counterblames, etc. And yeah, the "cousin" meeting was totally weird. I wonder if they were even related, ha ha. 

[GreatKazu]

2 hours ago, LotusFlower said:

I hear ya, but two wrongs don't make a right.

 

 

Except I wasn't implying B&T were threatening Tyler and Catelynn. I merely mentioned Tyler should be threatened just to know what it feels like when he is threatening Catelynn. I then posted what B&T did was not threatening at all, merely being concerned for their child's safety and welfare. They are not asking C&T do do anything that is out of bounds nor are they demanding C&T to give up something ludicrous. Merely asking for them to refrain from discussion on air about them. It is not as if they are asking C&T to NEVER EVER say anything about them ever. They just want those discussions to remain off camera from the public. What C&T say to their family or with each other is fair game.

Quote

Someone above mentioned that when Cate told Tyler about her conversation with Theresa she didn't give him the whole story or whatever. We don't REALLY know that, though. Who knows what all she told Tyler on the phone. Thanks to the editing, we only see about 10% of what really goes on. 

Right. We also know Tyler hears what he wants to hear which is himself speaking. Does he even hear half the things Catelynn tells him?

Quote

Did anyone else notice the huge difference between Nova and Jayde? Jayde is dressed cute and bathed and Nova just seems kind of greasy and dirty.

@DoctorWhovian Yes! Glad I am not the only one who thought that about Chevy Nova.

[poopchute]

3 hours ago, DoctorWhovian said:

Maci obviously knew she was pregnant longer, and whatever reason she had for hiding it is her own and seems ridiculous now. But I feel like of all things that have been done on this show, it's not the worst. I understand some amount that she may want to keep things private, or just not wanting every detail out there. Still stupid to lie about now.

I think drinking until you are 21 weeks pregnant is pretty shitty. I'm not sure I can think of anything worse that's been done on the show. Maybe Amber pushing Gary down the stairs but he's a grown man, this poor baby is defenseless.

Edited August 30, 2016 by poopchute

[Calm81]

On August 29, 2016 at 1:43 AM, GreatKazu said:

I am calling it. That guy had to have been paid by Matt, plain and simple. Whether he is a relative or not, Matt and this guy are in cahoots. Matt is bringing all of these people around Amber all of a sudden and notice, they all say the same thing to Amber - Matt is a good guy. Don't believe the lies. Forget his past! He even followed up with telling Amber what a star athlete Matt was in school. Didn't he say Matt has a couple of sport records too?  It's as if they are following a script!!! I think that dude was seeing $$$ in his future. They are like leeches. Who the hell cares what Matt did in high school or any school. The only records Amber should be concerned with are his criminal records and the court records.

I said the same about the Jeff "friend" being bribed to show up and tell Amber the addictions he had were true after Matts son coming out saying Matt stole his story and was never an addict.

I have to agree that Matt was an addict. A sex addict who had an addiction for knocking up women and leaving them to fend for themselves with a small baby and no father. He is addicted to living off of women like a sugar baby (even when the women are younger). 

Its almost like the hate he had for his mother he takes it out on women as a payback to how he thinks women or mothers are. Idk.

Matt is scaring the crap out of me and I don't even live with him. I fear when the cameras and money stop rolling and there is no longer a reason for him to kiss Ambers (bank wife) ass he may lay down some domestic violence and ditch her pregnant. Amber RUN!!!!! Send him back to his 1988 Ford Taurus!

Edited August 30, 2016 by Calm81

[ghoulina]

Well, crap, I didn't realize this aired Sunday night, I only caught it last night. Anyhow...

 

Maci can lose me with her fake acting. She's 21 weeks and just thought she was getting "fat"? Bitch please. "I had zero symptoms". You're convincing no one. Look, I do believe there ARE cases where women are in deep denial and don't realize they're pregnant for a very long time. But this isn't one of them. Maci is super tiny, so she's going to show early. And she's going to show in an obvious way. You can tell the difference, on a girl her size, between preggo growth and just gaining weight. She's so full of crap and it's really insulting to watch. 

It is nice how happy Jen and Larry are for her, and I LOVED Larry's appreciation of his wife. How those two raised an ingrate like Ryan I'll never know. He must truly just be a bad seed. 

So Maci needs to quit her job because it's all becoming so overwhelming? She means the check cashing place, right? The actual reliable income....not the stupid t-shirt business, right? STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. 

 

Farrah needs to lose the Nebraska shaped "Home" shirt. Bitch, you are from Council Bluffs! I say this as a born Nebraskan living in Iowa. Don't claim us!

Why was she getting a colonoscopy???

 

So last week Amber was all concerned about the revelation that Matt had tried pursuing Jenelle and Farrah before her. Now she has a bigger ring and is putting all the blame on Farrah. Do what now??? What kind of cult leader is Matt, that he can get this girl to forgive and overlook SO much bullshit??? Notice how HE controls the conversation? When he wants the topic to be shut down, it's shut down. 

Any one else think they hired that nice, normal looking family to pretend to be his cousin? 

 

O.M.G. Cate swapped her zebra print hoodie for a rainbow print one. Progress, y'all! 

It was really sad how she immediately knew Tyler would flip about the B&T thing, so she delayed telling him. I don't even know how many days it was, but she waited until he wasn't home and CALLED him. That is a huge red flag right there. 

As for the actual matter at hand, I'm sure this will be an unpopular opinion, but I actually partially see where Tyler is coming from. I totally understand and approve of B&T's desire to no longer appear on camera. I think they are doing the right thing for their growing daughter, the healthy thing. But I have to admit, it would bother me too if I were literally told I can't talk about certain things on camera. Tyler is a fame whore, no doubt, but the adoption is a major part of their lives. I can see asking them to please not discuss specifics about Carly - how she's doing in school, current hobbies, health issues, etc. But just general talk about the situation? I don't know...that seems like a bit much. 

And the thing is, I don't even really think Cate and Tyler currently talk about it that much. They have Nova. Butch is out of prison. They just bought this new house. Cate has a million and one issues. I feel like they've barely talked about Carly on the show the last few seasons anyhow. It seems to me that making a mandate like that is only going to make Tyler want to talk about it more. 

Now, all that being said, if it were me, I'd still honor it. Because the relationship with Carly would mean more. As it does with Cate. But for Tyler, his fame clearly means more. His reaction was super ridiculous. And if he thinks that a girl who sees him once a year would be devastated if she never saw him again, he needs to pull his head out of his ass.