Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[GEML]

Who are these people who follow her on Instagram? One of them asked Jill to join with her sister, mother, and SIL to create a clothing, hair, and skin line. Seriously?

There have always been people who come through Fundy churches in droves and stay for a short period of time. During that period they are really into following all the rules and often sucking up to the important people, but they don't last more than a few years at most. Would be interesting to see how long the people on Jill's IG last long term vs how many are just churning through and trying to change their lives but won't really put the work in - it's about a lot more than wearing skirts and long hair and sucking up to TV personalities, after all.

[Wellfleet]

I don't know if this "first look thing" is a young bride's pinterest fad or what, but I know these are VERY Christian people. The orthodox jewish sect have this custom of the groom, pre wedding ceremony, of checking the bride's face under her veil, with her family present,, to make sure it is the correct woman he is marrying. Don't know if any other cultures, or faiths across the globe have this practice also. Having said that, why do the "Christian Duggars" partake of non-Christian traditions? Jesus came to establish the NEW covenant and do away with the old, didn't He?

 

An excellent point. Why hasn't this being questioned before? A lot of Duggar behavior seems very odd to me - now that someone has pointed it out. They really do pick and choose what they want to do, don't they?  So how closely are they following Jesus after all?

There have always been people who come through Fundy churches in droves and stay for a short period of time. During that period they are really into following all the rules and often sucking up to the important people, but they don't last more than a few years at most. Would be interesting to see how long the people on Jill's IG last long term vs how many are just churning through and trying to change their lives but won't really put the work in - it's about a lot more than wearing skirts and long hair and sucking up to TV personalities, after all.

 

Another spot-on observation. There are a lot of "fad-followers" out there - of all kinds.  Got to check out the latest thing - or things on TV etc. Whatever's being talked about. I suspect a lot of Duggar leg-humpers come and go quite quickly. Like them in 2013, could care less in 2014 etc.  

Edited January 22, 2015 by Wellfleet

[BitterApple]

SKIN?!! CLOTHING?!! HAIR?!? I'm speechless.

Right?! What's next, the Duggars publish a book on healthy eating?

[bigskygirl]

She could get together with Michelle and Anna and write a book about how to get knocked up fast titled Practice Makes Progress, and Progress Makes Babies

[DoctorWhovian]

An excellent point. Why hasn't this being questioned before? A lot of Duggar behavior seems very odd to me - now that someone has pointed it out. They really do pick and choose what they want to do, don't they?  So how closely are they following Jesus after all?

 

Maybe it's the atheist in me speaking, but I find that most, if not all, religious people tend to pick and choose what aspects they follow. And if you ask them, they aren't choosing because their sect/denomination doesn't follow that particular tenant because..." Some Christians will quote the Old Testament for certain things, but not for others. Some Jews don't completely follow Kosher rules, and others don't follow them at all, or only do them sometimes. I don't necessarily see anything wrong with this at all, as long as you aren't a jerk to others because of the choices that they've made regarding how they embrace their religion, when the choices you've made are equally as arbitrary. 

[mbutterfly]

Maybe it's the atheist in me speaking, but I find that most, if not all, religious people tend to pick and choose what aspects they follow. And if you ask them, they aren't choosing because their sect/denomination doesn't follow that particular tenant because..." Some Christians will quote the Old Testament for certain things, but not for others. Some Jews don't completely follow Kosher rules, and others don't follow them at all, or only do them sometimes. I don't necessarily see anything wrong with this at all, as long as you aren't a jerk to others because of the choices that they've made regarding how they embrace their religion, when the choices you've made are equally as arbitrary. 

As a Christian let me say "don't be a jerk" is pretty well supported by scripture -- Old and New Testament. So, you are exactly right to expect this standard. 

[GEML]

The flip side is I know atheists who have some superstitions they still follow. They might be silly - things that might be as small as going to a bar to watch their favorite team during the playoffs, things like that. But even my most rational and scientific friends can sometimes fall into moments of complete and total irrationality.

And they do it for the same reasons people of faith blow it when their rules are put forward. We are humans and still working with brains that aren't terribly good about being consistent.

[bigskygirl]

 

I also originally thought why wouldn't Mrs. Kellar be present to help HER daughter at such a time? Why did Anna need Michelle to stick her nose in Anna's "privates"? I certainly did not want my MIL to see me giving birth. I think the Duggars shut out any in-laws altogether. I will be curious to see how Cathy Byrum, etal. are treated when Jilly Muffin makes "the call" to the family. Will Cathy be informed after baby Dilly arrives and have to wait for an invitation to see HER first grandson?

Derick's family will be toss aside to feature Michelle being all excited about one of her daughters having her first child. The daggers will be flying out of Michelle's eyes at her young fertile daughter being the center of attention. JB will be watching with dollar signs and ratings gold signs in his eyes. I can imagine the scriptures reading will be handy when the real labor pain starts to kick in. I also believe the labor will be filmed because Jill has to share the awesome, sweet, and blessed moment with the rest of us.

[NikSac]

I think it would be "awesome! totally!" if they got this moment to themselves and no one including film crews got the call until after the baby has already arrived, frankly. I know it won't happen, but one can dream.

[Lukeysboat]

I've been married for 22 years, and my husband and I took most of our church photos before the wedding ceremony. This was common with many of my friends, too. We ranged in faith from evangelical free Christians to Lutherans, Catholics, and Episcopalians. It wasn't unusual back then; we just didn't have a bunch of Pinterest posts about it.

[Mrsjumbo]

I've been married 20 yrs & most weddings we went to had something between church & reception where guests had appetizers & cocktails while the wedding party took photos after the ceremony.

Maybe it's regional!

[Barb23]

Regarding Baby Dillys birth, I think the Bynum/Dillard family will be pushed to the back of the line just as they were when Derick & Cathy arrived at the airport from Nepal. They won't have a chance once the germ-laden Duggar clown bus arrives at the front door tooting their horn.

[cereality]

Regarding Baby Dillys birth, I think the Bynum/Dillard family will be pushed to the back of the line just as they were when Derick & Cathy arrived at the airport from Nepal. They won't have a chance once the germ-laden Duggar clown bus arrives at the front door tooting their horn.

Likely yes in the moment. I feel like Michelle will be there for the birth and a few sisters, and JB and crew will arrive shortly thereafter in the bus. Maybe Cathy and Dan will get to arrive when JB and co. do but 20 loud pushy relatives vs. 2 quiet ones -- no contest. But I do see Derick and Jill being sensitive to his mom and brother and carving out time with just their side. It won't be that day and may not even be right away, but Jill does hang out with his side of the family -- Thanksgiving, some eagle tour etc. -- so I don't see them completely saying "whatever" when it comes to his side. I think Derick will be super sensitive re his mom who has had such a rough time health wise and is looking forward to meeting her first grandkid who is also only her 3rd blood relative.

[Barb23]

Of course MEchelle will be there. What's a Duggar birth without her? Can't wait to hear her whisper "she's doing great, it won't be long" while Jill will be writhing in pain, as Anna was.

[Zahdii]

Anyone else hoping that Jill loses it and makes everyone leave?   Sorry, I think I've said that before and it bears repeating.

[riverblue22]

Anyone else hoping that Jill loses it and makes everyone leave?   Sorry, I think I've said that before and it bears repeating.

 

      Don't expect that from Jill, but watch Jessa do things "a little differently" when it is her turn.

Edited January 25, 2015 by riverblue22

[Ljohnson1987]

J'Chelle hasn't missed a grand baby's birth yet. Of course, she'll be there, and make it all about her. I bet she'll throw more daggers of jealously at Jill than she did at Anna. 

[Hpmec]

No way will Boob pass up the opportunity to grab good ratings by capturing every excruciating moment of Jill's labor. I woudn't put it past him to market talking Baby Dilly dolls that spout little Bible verses. Anything for a buck. Derick will want his mom to see the newborn, of course, but she will definitely not be present at the birth. Mullet would literally bar the door rather than have anyone steal her thunder. After all, Cathy only had 2 children and is therefore not an expert. Rolls eyes.

[GEML]

Jill will have Michelle there because she is begging for Michelle's love and affirmation. Not that this will gain it, but she'll beg for it nonetheless.

[Barb23]

Hpmec: What an idea! - talking Baby Dilly dolls spouting bible verses. (That may be something for Shark Tank) I can't stop laughing.

[dillpickles]

Don't expect that from Jill, but watch Jessa do things "a little differently" when it is her turn.

Jessa would have Ben shut the door in the camera crew, and Michelle would try and make the moment a teaching lesson or something.

[cmr2014]

 

Jill will have Michelle there because she is begging for Michelle's love and affirmation. Not that this will gain it, but she'll beg for it nonetheless.

 

That is very insightful, GEML. I hadn't really thought about it that way before, but you're absolutely right. I find Ma and Pa so revolting that it's hard for me to wrap my head around he idea that anyone would really, truly, want their approval. All children, though -- and that includes adult children -- want their parents' approval. Jill may know on an intellectual level that her mother is incapable of giving her the affection she craves, but on an emotional level she could keep trying forever unless she gets some serious counseling -- which doesn't seem to be in the cards.

 

Oddly enough, this leads me to make a swipe at defending "courtship." Given her incredible immaturity, and her need (a need that I would imagine they all share) for some love and attention, I think that Jill would be incredibly vulnerable to any boy that looked at her. Ideally, of course, she would have had her heart broken a couple of times, and learned something along the way that would allow her to have a good relationship down the road, but she also could just as easily have hooked up with someone controlling and/or abusive.

[GEML]

I remember the recent Mother's Day episode. The kids were going through wishing Michelle happy Mother's Day (or not - in Jana's case the wishes were almost outright hostile) and Jill was almost painfully saying, "Mom, please notice and love me."

What jumped out at me was this was smack in the middle of the Jill wedding extravaganza. You'd think if there was a time when Jill would be "seen" in her mother's life up to that moment, that would have been the time. But no, Michelle is reading cue cards upon seeing her daughter in her wedding dress for the first time.

[Matryoshka]

They really do pick and choose what they want to do, don't they?  So how closely are they following Jesus after all?

In my opinion they are far more followers of Bill Gothard than they are followers of Jesus. Unfortunately for everyone, Bill seems to have confused the two.

[bigskygirl]

Maybe Jill trying to get love and approval from Michelle is a big part of the reason why she seems so clingy and immature when it comes to Derick. He is probably the first person who loves her and gives her a lot of attention. The sad fact is she is smothering him too much and does not understand he needs his own space.

[Rhondinella]

I woudn't put it past him to market talking Baby Dilly dolls that spout little Bible verses.

 

 

Not gonna lie, I'd probably buy one of the those.  

[TobyBelle]

I would expect Michelle and some of the sisters being present at the birth. On the other hand seeing how Jill And Derick spent their wedding day together, I could see them wanting to do the same thing during the delivery. In fact, I would love it if they did do that. I envision Derick pushing everyone out of the room, shutting the door behind them, and then sitting with Jill while they prayed or whatever. I admit I'm kind of biased because I wanted our baby deliveries to be a moment that only my husband and I shared together (expect with medical staff, of course). To me, it would solidify that they are a couple and she has cleaved from her family. Am I dreaming?

[Zahdii]

It's a lovely dream, but we'll have to wait to see if it comes true.  I was expecting to hear that Michelle was there, possibly a sister or two, the midwife and assistant, or a doula, and an entire camera crew.

 

Once the baby is born I expect the lure of cameras and the chance to make an ass of himself will drive Boob to show up honking his horn and parking on the lawn (because he's positive he's adorable and funny when he does that).

 

Then the baby will be handed around and breathed on by about 20 people before Jill and Derek have a chance to actually spend some time with their son.  Hopefully the camera crew will leave when Boob and bunch go.

 

It'll probably be the next day or even a day or two after that before Derick's family will have a chance to meet baby Dill.  I just hope they don't have to gaze at him from the far end of the room because there's a sea of Duggars between them and their new family member.

[Gweilo]

Regarding Baby Dillys birth, I think the Bynum/Dillard family will be pushed to the back of the line just as they were when Derick & Cathy arrived at the airport from Nepal. They won't have a chance once the germ-laden Duggar clown bus arrives at the front door tooting their horn.

Perhaps this scenario has a silver lining: The Duggars won't give a shit about the baby anymore once it's a week old, and Derick's family will get to experience all the lovely parts of it growing up.

Imagine having to marry a virtual stranger and get pregnant 10 days later just to try and get your mum to love you.

[jb0495]

I would bet on Michelle, Cathy & Jana there from the family. They've both talked about how special it is for Cathy to meet her 3rd blood relative & it's her first grandchild. No way she won't be there. Maybe Joy also since she's very close to her, was present for engagement & went to an ultrasound.

Venessa will be the midwife. I wonder if they'll make it a training opportunity for Venessa's other midwives and have some girls Jill has worked with there?

[trimthatfat]

I would be so overwhelmed having a ton of people in the room as I give birth. I've seen patients who want their husband, mother, sisters, SILs, cousins, besties, etc. in the room and I personally couldn't deal with that stress. I really hope Jill puts her foot down if she's uncomfortable and only has a couple of people in there.

[Barb23]

Perhaps this scenario has a silver lining: The Duggars won't give a shit about the baby anymore once it's a week old, and Derick's family will get to experience all the lovely parts of it growing up.

Imagine having to marry a virtual stranger and get pregnant 10 days later just to try and get your mum to love you.

How true. Since she's had years of practice, Jill won't need the help of caring for Dilly the first couple of days that most of us needed when we had our first baby. I'm sure she can change a diaper standing on her head blindfolded. Now she will have her choice of a J'slave to come over to help with housekeeping chores. But I wonder if MEchelle will be jealous of Cathy coming over & spending the day with them, since it is Jilly Muffin, HER first DUGGAR daughter to give birth.

[NikSac]

I would be so overwhelmed having a ton of people in the room as I give birth. I've seen patients who want their husband, mother, sisters, SILs, cousins, besties, etc. in the room and I personally couldn't deal with that stress. I really hope Jill puts her foot down if she's uncomfortable and only has a couple of people in there.

 

I'm with you there! No kids here but I can't even imagine having a room full of people while giving birth. 15 minutes later when we're cleaned up and covered up, fine, but during the labor and staring at my crotch while the baby makes its arrival? Unless you're my husband or some sort of trained pro helping with the practical/medical side of things, no thank you!  I wonder what Jill's used to or planning on.

Edited January 26, 2015 by NikSac

[floridamom]

OK, I already know before I type this,, but here goes anyway....

I wonder if Michelle will finally act like Jill's mother and Baby Dilly's grandma and actually GO over and do some real work helping Jill around the house, etc, like moms of new mothers usually do. It's not like Michelle lives a plane ride away and has a job to report to. Heck my own mother was 1.5 hrs away and had a full time job. She took 2 weeks of vacation time to be with me at my house to cook, clean and do laundry for me. I wondered why when Anna had Mac, why Mrs. Keller didn't arrive to help out, then I thought Michelle was nearby to do so, but we all know how that went...This could be Meechelle's moment to show us out here that she isn't like she isn't perceived.

Like I said, yeah, folks, I know.. my head is in the clouds..Queen Meechelle will maybe send over the J'slaves to do all the work while she sips Starbucks on the exercise machine. One can dream, right?

[Almost 3000]

I would bet on Michelle, Cathy & Jana there from the family. They've both talked about how special it is for Cathy to meet her 3rd blood relative & it's her first grandchild. No way she won't be there. Maybe Joy also since she's very close to her, was present for engagement & went to an ultrasound.

Venessa will be the midwife. I wonder if they'll make it a training opportunity for Venessa's other midwives and have some girls Jill has worked with there?

I'm interested to see if Jana is there. I've always felt she resents Jill in general and having to doula train with her was just part of it. Funny how both of them seemed to drop that baby once Jill became engaged.

[bigskygirl]

First of all, I think Jill would not mind the attention she would get when she goes into labor. She acts like she is the first woman in history to get married and get pregnant within a short period of time after saying I do. In some ways, she is a younger Michelle. I can see her giggling and saying blessed, totally awesome, special and amazing over and over again before and after she delivers her first born son. She does not want the rest of the universe to forget she is the first Duggar daughter to get married and have a baby with her totally wonderful husband. She is suppose to be an inspiration to millions of women don't ya know.

 

And to be honest about it, the thought of Michelle pretending to help Jill with the baby would drive me to poke my ears out and run for the hills. Michelle's voice and face would probably give the poor baby nightmares.

[SmallTownMom]

Of course nobody will worry about that baby once it's a week old!!  Jill will be too busy worrying about the next "blessing".  Have to be pregnant again by the time Anna delivers!  These girls are all about one-upping each other. 

 

I would love if she and Derrick had a normal childbirth experience.  You know, one without a crew, or cameras or dozens of people looking at her hoo-hah, and without  Mechelle telling us all about her deliveries through the whole VSE. 

[Missy Vixen]

Imagine having to marry a virtual stranger and get pregnant 10 days later just to try and get your mum to love you.

This is one of the most profound (and painful) things I have read on this site to date.

 

It is tragic that the children in this family (Jill included) were born to a woman who had to pray for a "heart for children". All children should be loved and wanted, not trophies of one's fertility or a meal ticket.

 

Here's hoping Derick grows a spine and insists that his family has access to their child as well.

 

And MEchelle will be ringside; she won't do any actual work but she will do endless talking heads giving her child-rearing "wisdom" and desperately trying to work up some tears as she talks about what a "precious season of life" this is.

Edited January 27, 2015 by Missy Vixen

[WTFFF]

First of all, I think Jill would not mind the attention she would get when she goes into labor.

 

I think "wouldn't mind" is putting it extremely tactfully!  Jill freaking loves the attention - I'm expecting to see Jana, Joy, Michelle, Derick's mom (she's Cathy Dillard on Twitter, so does she still use her first husband's last name?), Miss Venessa, a bunch of other lackeys from the midwifery operation and probably a few other people - as long as they're all meek enough to avoid the spotlight/not take any eyes off of her.  Plus the film crew, of course. 

[3girlsforus]

I didn't see the episode where Anna gave birth but how exactly do they film this? Obviously the birth can be edited to make sure nothing "down there" is visible but you can't edit in real life. These camera crews are men. How can a family who is constantly talking about modesty and thinks holding hands or hugging is so intimate you can't do it unless you are engaged or married allow random camera men to see you in the all together? 

[maraleia]

FYI Cathy's twitter handle is this https://twitter.com/cldilla

[Almost 3000]

I didn't see the episode where Anna gave birth but how exactly do they film this? Obviously the birth can be edited to make sure nothing "down there" is visible but you can't edit in real life. These camera crews are men. How can a family who is constantly talking about modesty and thinks holding hands or hugging is so intimate you can't do it unless you are engaged or married allow random camera men to see you in the all together? 

You really must see Michael's "modest" home toilet birth.

[Joe Jitsu913]

So Kathy was adopted? I find that interesting considering the Duggars look down on adopted children because they are born with sin. I wonder if Kathy is aware of their beliefs?

[jb0495]

Here is Cathy's most recent tweet.....

 

"If abortion had been legal when I was born, I wouldn't be here! Neither would Derick, Dan or Baby Dilly!"

 

She is definitely more conservative than we all originally thought. Or she drank the Kool-Aid. 

[Higgins]

Here is Cathy's most recent tweet.....

 

"If abortion had been legal when I was born, I wouldn't be here! Neither would Derick, Dan or Baby Dilly!"

 

She is definitely more conservative than we all originally thought. Or she drank the Kool-Aid. 

Because she is pro-life? A lot of reasonable people are.

Edited January 27, 2015 by Higgins

[GEML]

I'm guessing she was always extremely conservative. The comment about health conditions being satanical attacks was really outside of the mainstream, and told me she's not Gothard, but she's pretty Fundy herself. And no, I don't give her a pass for having dealt with cancer. I grew up with that thinking to the point where one religious subculture would anoint with oil and pray over handkerchiefs for you to place under your pillow at night to ward off demons. Seriously. This type of thinking makes sick in body people quickly feel sick in mind. It is one of my most unpleasant childhood memories, and as many of you know, I give a lot of other Fundy weirdness a pass.

Edited January 27, 2015 by GEML

[jb0495]

I have no issue with someone being pro-life. The fact that they think they "survived" Roe v. Wade takes to a weird extreme, IMO. Why would Cathy insinuate that none of them would be alive if abortion were legal? She doesn't know if she would have been aborted no matter if abortion was legal. And obviously Derick, Dan & Baby Dilly were WANTED and wouldn't have been aborted.

[Absolom]

I think she's saying if she had been aborted, then no Derick or his brother, and if no Derick, then no baby Dilly.  Of course, Jill could/would have married someone else and had a different baby. 

[bigskygirl]

Once again words escape me. Do these people have one original thought amongst themselves or do they use the same straw to drink the kool-aid. Why do I feel bad for baby Dilly. Will he be allowed to think for himself or will he be a kool-aid drinker like his parents and grandparents.

[Barb23]

I wonder how Cathy feels about people who have diseases/health conditions. Does she blame the person for doing something bad & that's why they have the disease or is it just the evil beings invading their bodies, like her cancer? I have rheumatoid arthritis & when I was diagnosed almost 30 years ago, I went thru the "Why me's?" But never once did I think evil beings somehow invaded me or that by spreading the word of God I would be cured. Good grief. It is hard to figure out how these people think.