Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[JenCarroll]

Isn't learning Spanish part of the mission? How else will they be able to communicate with the people they'll be serving. I haven't seen anything saying that they're coming home for good, just for the wedding. Have I missed something?

I think they probably are going back, but really, they could have done Spanish-language training in the U.S. I'm not terribly impressed so far. Still, I'm reserving judgment on them - I'll never be a fan of missionaries in general, but as long as they're not doing active harm to the people there, I'm okay with Jill and Derrick taking whatever chance they can get to build a life away from Jim Bob.

[kalamac]

I do think it's important to learn at least some of the language in the country you're in, as dialects vary from place to place, and what you learned at home may not be exactly what the locals at speaking.

[BitterApple]

I think the criticism stems from the fact that the Dullards seem to be doing very little to help people, which is sort of the whole point in the first place. They've been flitting back and forth to the States, they're in language school, they're filming poorly enacted skits. None of this is making a dent in the lives of poor people in Central America. It's Voluntourism at its finest. If they've got leghumpers willing to finance their vacation, more power to them, but I think they've deservedly left themselves open to the skeptics.

[ChocolateAddict]

It annoys me because this "mission" seems to be a bible camp with language lesson thrown in.  They told their leg-humpers that they were going to make a difference in the lives of others but so far all we have seen is a terrible, terrible skit and language classes. I have no doubt that if the Dillard's were building houses or whatever, they would post it on SM.  So the fact that we haven't seen anything leads me to believe that they have just been enjoying a sunny vacation with a bit of holier-than-thou preaching thrown in to justify the fundraising.  

[Micks Picks]

I believe these type of missionaries do not do anything to benefit the lives of people except telling them about God.  And preaching.  And Jesus-ing all over the place.  That's all they do.  Not my idea of good people really concerned about the community.

[Guest]

Do we know how long this "mission" is supposed to last? How long do you think JB is going to let that big house sit empty before he puts it on the market?!

[sometimesy]

Incoming instagram of them making a donation, hammering a nail in a wall and teaching English. :)

[parisprincess]

Good grief, they just started their mission in July, it is now the start of September, and they're back home for the second time in just a matter of weeks?  I hope people don't mind that their donations for Duggar "missions" are going towards them flying back and forth every couple of weeks instead of doing actual missionary work.  Just goes to show what a farce this family and their "missions" are. 

[BitterApple]

Good grief, they just started their mission in July, it is now the start of September, and they're back home for the second time in just a matter of weeks? I hope people don't mind that their donations for Duggar "missions" are going towards them flying back and forth every couple of weeks instead of doing actual missionary work. Just goes to show what a farce this family and their "missions" are.

I said in a post upthread that I wouldn't be surprised if the Dullards make a pit stop at Sam's Club to pick up candy and soccer balls for the natives so they can justify using mission funds to pay for the trip to Amy's wedding. I really do believe the Duggars are that shady.

Edited September 5, 2015 by BitterApple

[sometimesy]

I believe these type of missionaries do not do anything to benefit the lives of people except telling them about God.  And preaching.  And Jesus-ing all over the place.  That's all they do.  Not my idea of good people really concerned about the community.

This is why I prefer Jessa's method of open rants about her religious superiority. Jill does the same thing, she is trying to convert Christians to HER religion, but she is much more subtle.  I really believe Derrick toned Jill down, while Ben is amplifying Jessa.

 

[kokapetl]

Derick wasn't carpet trained. I can't imagine someone who wasn't brutally abused as an infant would allow his own child to be brutally abused.

Besides, you notice the children who are behavior disasters in the Duggar mothership are the ones who came up after DHS came into their lives? I don't think even Michelle blanket trains any more. I also think she has no idea how to discipline a child in any way other than beating them into submission.

I think Michelle was honestly too lazy to do blanket training, too lazy to parent really. And I don't think she would've been able to bring herself to do it in any circumstance once the fragile Miracle Josie was born.

[BitterApple]

I think Michelle was honestly too lazy to do blanket training, too lazy to parent really. And I don't think she would've been able to bring herself to do it in any circumstance once the fragile Miracle Josie was born.

The infamous insider "Alice" stated that Michelle hadn't done any hands-on child rearing in years. Since everything else the woman said has come to pass, I believe this statement is accurate as well. I agree Michelle comes off as way too lazy to put in the kind of time and effort blanket training would require.

[Satchels of gold]

I don't know which is worse being a child abuser or being to lazy to be a child abuser.

[TaxNerd]

I don't know which is worse being a child abuser or being to lazy to be a child abuser.

Or delegating the child abuse to your older children

[roamyn]

I don't know which is worse being a child abuser or being to lazy to be a child abuser.

Or harboring a child abuser.

[SometimesBites]

Oh my god, you people are on fire! Rimshots all around. I have SO found my tribe. How I love clever, intelligent, funny, and rather caustic (but only when the circumstances DEMAND it) people. And then you turn on a dime and say the kindest and most compassionate things. Effortful thinkers...my FAVORITE!

[Churchhoney]

The infamous insider "Alice" stated that Michelle hadn't done any hands-on child rearing in years. Since everything else the woman said has come to pass, I believe this statement is accurate as well. I agree Michelle comes off as way too lazy to put in the kind of time and effort blanket training would require.

 

I suspect she did do it with the oldest half of the kids, but that she did it sporadically and randomly. Which is probably the worst way of all. The kids get their impulses squashed and get the sense that the universe is completely chaotic and unpredictable. Chaotic and unpredictable and also scary and painful, and that you never know when some wrathful creature will bat you down for a reason that you can't fathom. Then you get kids full of fear, buried resentments, insecurity -- it's the Duggar recipe.

[cmr2014]

It just struck me that -- as the heaviest kool-aide drinker -- Jill has the hardest fall ahead of her. I would imagine that, in the end, she will be the bitterest of them all, and her tell-all will be the most interesting.

[kandinski]

It just struck me that -- as the heaviest kool-aide drinker -- Jill has the hardest fall ahead of her. I would imagine that, in the end, she will be the bitterest of them all, and her tell-all will be the most interesting.

 

Like...yeah...totally

[Vaysh]

It just struck me that -- as the heaviest kool-aide drinker -- Jill has the hardest fall ahead of her. I would imagine that, in the end, she will be the bitterest of them all, and her tell-all will be the most interesting.

 

She does seem like the heaviest kool-aid drinker, on the surface at least. On the other hand, I think Jill has the most solid support system surrounding her right now; a much more stable one than Jessa ( who's got Duggars and hate-y Papa Seewald), Anna (Duggars, Gothard siblings and two non-supportive parents) and the rest of the kids (Duggars only). Jill's daily life is spent mostly Duggar-free, she's got a husband who seems to genuinely care for her as well as a sane mother-in-law, she's started a family of her own, she's in a place where she probably feels like she's doing good and being useful (debatable but I'm sure she believes it) and she's spending time with people who may be fundies but not necessarily the extreme Gothard kind. Jill could have a long fall ahead of her, but I think it will be a fairly soft and heavily cushioned fall. More of a gentle tumble really as long as she stays away from the toxic Duggar clusterfuck that is happening right now.

[roamyn]

She's already experienced some of that with football games, tv, and plays.

Derrick has already broadened her horizons.

Not to mention, Jill is the one who front hugged her boyfriend at the airport in front of family & strangers, before they were, gasp, married!

[JoanArc]

 

Derrick has already broadened her horizons.

Jill's done her damnedest to narrow his. It's all kind of a wash.

 

The money and fame completely drying up forever will be true test of all the kids character. Will be interesting to see how that plays out.

[Julia]

Jill's done her damnedest to narrow his. It's all kind of a wash.

 

The money and fame completely drying up forever will be true test of all the kids character. Will be interesting to see how that plays out.

 

I wonder. He seems like a romantic young man, in the sense that he pictures himself acting out his faith in the most dramatic, heroic way he can find in his personal life, and the Duggars' public life was tailored very carefully to feed into exactly that romantic impulse. So take into account that he'd barely met his future in-laws and never had a private conversation with his future wife, it's sort of understandable that he was walking around smelling of Kool-Aid for a while there.

 

I think it's more telling that once he did get to know his wife and his in-laws, he headshipped his wife into a way less rapey faith community, walked away from a good job and a large house and most-favored-nation status with his FIL, and got his family as far out of Dodge as he possibly could.

 

I still think their mission is more about the missionaries than it is about the people they're supposed to be helping, and that if it's more than a gap year foreign travel program for privileged evangelical children they're not not letting anyone know about it. But it's still probably the most extended time Jill has ever spent with Those People in her life getting to know them as human beings instead of as unclean sinners. And by Those People, I mean southern baptists.

Edited September 6, 2015 by Julia

[SometimesBites]

I still think their mission is more about the missionaries than it is about the people they're supposed to be helping

 

Absolutely. I did a lot of thinking about this last night while my fella and I watched Living On One Dollar on Netflix streaming. I can't recommend this lovely little documentary more highly. Four young men travel to Guatemala and do the very best they can to live among the people who are struggling at the lower levels of poverty, while limiting themselves to the average income: about $1 per day.

 

They come up with some fairly clever ways of trying to replicate the uncertainty of income, and instead of going in with the intention of laying their own trip on the people, they stay humble and seek to understand and to learn--and they really do come away with some understanding that will no doubt stay with them for a lifetime. The results are so moving...truly heartwarming and heartbreaking. The whole film is a lesson that Jill and Derrick need to learn. Jill is so sheltered that she can't even conceive of the blinders her life of privilege has put on her. The people of Guatemala do not want or need a sophomoric hyper-dramatic skit, for crying out loud. I mean, honestly: how dare they?

[truthtalk2014]

Absolutely. I did a lot of thinking about this last night while my fella and I watched Living On One Dollar on Netflix streaming. I can't recommend this lovely little documentary more highly. Four young men travel to Guatemala and do the very best they can to live among the people who are struggling at the lower levels of poverty, while limiting themselves to the average income: about $1 per day.

 

They come up with some fairly clever ways of trying to replicate the uncertainty of income, and instead of going in with the intention of laying their own trip on the people, they stay humble and seek to understand and to learn--and they really do come away with some understanding that will no doubt stay with them for a lifetime. The results are so moving...truly heartwarming and heartbreaking. The whole film is a lesson that Jill and Derrick need to learn. Jill is so sheltered that she can't even conceive of the blinders her life of privilege has put on her. The people of Guatemala do not want or need a sophomoric hyper-dramatic skit, for crying out loud. I mean, honestly: how dare they?

I totally agree with you.  I watched it as well and thought about Jill and Derrick.  If you only look at the money for the flights, they could have bought about 20 families stoves or many other things to make their lives better.  It really was sad to see how the people live and the children having only tortillas for a meal.  All I could think of was Jill and Derrick taking photos buying a big box of groceries, sugar cereal and so on.  Oh, and eating take out pizza.  It really is disguting.

[Fuzzysox]

Pickles has pictures of the Dill family at Cross Church services today. Looks like Jill broke out her mustard colored sweater she loves so much. Pickles thinks they are there begging for more money. I don't doubt it.

[CofCinci]

Pickles has pictures of the Dill family at Cross Church services today. Looks like Jill broke out her mustard colored sweater she loves so much. Pickles thinks they are there begging for more money. I don't doubt it.

Do they ever go to church without getting on stage and begging for money? https://instagram.com/p/7TVQbQrs7-/?taken-by=jillmdillard

[Wellfleet]

Jill's done her damnedest to narrow his. It's all kind of a wash.

 

The money and fame completely drying up forever will be true test of all the kids character. Will be interesting to see how that plays out.

 

Agree - very much a wash here. IMO, the dominant person in this relationship is not Derick. And knowing Gothardism as we do, I honestly don't know if that's good or bad.

[SometimesBites]

Do they ever go to church without getting on stage and begging for money? https://instagram.com/p/7TVQbQrs7-/?taken-by=jillmdillard

Wonder how well they speak Spanish so far. One of the first few comments is in Spanish and is dissing Derrick's hair. *snicker

[Quilt Fairy]

So they flew in for Amy's wedding and took the opportunity to grift for cash?

[sometimesy]

So they flew in for Amy's wedding and took the opportunity to grift for cash?

 

With a little help from People magazine "Her cousin Jill also made a stop at the wedding with her family, taking a break from the family's mission work in El Salvador." I don't know how anyone can complain about the preaching of Jessa and that precocious kid she babysits and think Jill is so benign. Jill is sly. Gah!

[kandinski]

Jill and derick are obviously cut from the same cloth,greedy brainwashed free loaders,using god to entice the dwindling fans into paying for airfare back and forth to duggar land,Macs,Pizzas etc for the gruelling "missionary" work.

[Churchhoney]

Gaaaaaaaa. And gnashing of teeth. Crap. Have we seen or heard of anything from their actual "family ministry" besides Derick's abominably insulting and horribly executed mime act? Since when do photo ops, U.S.-style eating and shopping trips, language courses on somebody else's dime, side trips to the beach and every adjacent country and time spent hanging with family and other U.S. tourists in your demographic constitute a ministry? Do the congregation there know what kind of ministering these two do and, thus, what their love offerings pay for? I don't see how the Dullards can sleep at night, knowing what they know about how their time is spent. The Duggar grift ethic is strong.

 

That said, I'm still glad they're mostly away from JB's compound. Distance may be the only hope aside from the cash dwindle for waking up Duggarlings to the wrongness of the family ways and philosophy.....A slim hope indeed, of course.

Edited September 7, 2015 by Churchhoney

[Cherrio]

I agree strongly with these missionary trips being grifter vacations for all of the reasons you all have stated in the previous posts.

 

What bugs me or rather infuriates me about Christian missionaries, even the ones who actually do some real work is that they all come with a price which  of course is converting people to their beliefs.

         First, I don't believe ANYONE should give with expectations of something in return, an ulterior motive or both.  If that is the case, then it is not a true act of giving.

          Second, and why I am posting is that just because these countries are poverty stricken...etc. why should ANYONE assume or believe their cultures and beliefs are supposed to change or want to change? They might be poor but their cultures should be respected always.

       The Duggars and others like them Nike and hate monger everyone they deem evil and wrong , who don't believe what they believe, but expect people to listen to them?    

           Give with respect and keep your mouths shut.    Respect and listen to the people who are helping, you might learn something.

[Churchhoney]

           Give with respect and keep your mouths shut.    Respect and listen to the people who are helping, you might learn something.

 

Yep, that's certainly what they should be doing, in my opinion, too. And very well said.

 

That said, I wouldn't expect anyone coming out of a Duggar background to move to that kind of behavior in a single step. So from them, I'd accept even tiny intermediate steps toward that end as representing progress. Hell, I even accept what Jill and Derrick are doing now as progress (infinitesimal progress, but still...). Since they believe that they're among the world's sole possessors of ultimate truth, and Jill, especially, has had very little contact with other people that could tell her otherwise, I think her only hope for any movement at all is at least to meet other people, talk with them, see how they live and think and thus broaden her perspective to whatever degree possible. So at least they've put her in a position to maybe, possibly, kinda sorta do that. If she wants to, which she probably doesn't. Still, it's at least a move to a situation that provides learning opportunities. And they'll certainly stay stuck in their ways without those.

 

ETA: That's why, despite Jessa's apparently more rebellious nature and perhaps some backbone, I have even less hope for her and Ben at this point. They seem to be deliberately remaining in a very tightly locked echo chamber. Jessa, in particular, since Ben does occasionally at least try to engage with people on social media and so on. And no matter how rebellious somebody is, if you never see anything, read anything or hear anything that goes beyond what you think and "know" already, how likely is it that you will change your ways of thinking and behaving?

Edited September 7, 2015 by Churchhoney

[Cherrio]

Thanks Churchhoney.

             It would be great if people like the Duggars would change and leave their hateful and ignorant ways behind them.  People do change, so I am not without hope.

                      I am not disagreeing with your thoughts, but would like to add that people like the Duggars would need actual deprogramming imo to change because I believe they are in a cult.   Their children had no childhood in any normal way.  Their minds are poisoned.

     So, while Jill may be learning from other people , I guess I would rather she do it from a distance.   I would rather she have no contact with people struggling and suffering who need real help.  Not some stupid dance from Pistol Pete.

          If they stay there then they should like I said earlier, shut their mouths and learn.  Do real work in silence and respect the people, their culture and beliefs.

[Wellfleet]

Good grief, they just started their mission in July, it is now the start of September, and they're back home for the second time in just a matter of weeks?  I hope people don't mind that their donations for Duggar "missions" are going towards them flying back and forth every couple of weeks instead of doing actual missionary work.  Just goes to show what a farce this family and their "missions" are. 

 

For sure. The Duggars consider mission "work" just another way to "earn" an income without actually working. It certainly must beat having to beg for discounts and freebies around town.

[Fuzzysox]

For sure. The Duggars consider mission "work" just another way to "earn" an income without actually working. It certainly must beat having to beg for discounts and freebies around town.

Derick mentioned that they will be home for a while. WHAT will they be doing to bring in income? Is Derick going to run Josh's credit card processing business?

[BitterApple]

Derick mentioned that they will be home for a while. WHAT will they be doing to bring in income? Is Derick going to run Josh's credit card processing business?

Lmfao, "home for a while"? Weren't they just home for two weeks? Boy, their dedication to helping the poor and needy rivals Mother Teresa's!

[Churchhoney]

     So, while Jill may be learning from other people , I guess I would rather she do it from a distance.   I would rather she have no contact with people struggling and suffering who need real help.  Not some stupid dance from Pistol Pete.

       

 

Good point.

Derick mentioned that they will be home for a while. WHAT will they be doing to bring in income?

 

Run around from church to church to church to church to church to church to church to church begging?

[Churchhoney]

                      I am not disagreeing with your thoughts, but would like to add that people like the Duggars would need actual deprogramming imo to change because I believe they are in a cult.   Their children had no childhood in any normal way.  Their minds are poisoned.

    

 

I'm of two minds about this, mainly because I don't know how much time and energy they actually spend on learning and practicing Gothard principles by name and participating in Gothard activities designed to warp their brains and how much they're mostly confined within the family system instead. I wonder whether Jim Bob and Michelle confine the kids so much that most of them are more in a family cult than in the Gothard cult, because it's Jim Bob's and Michelle's mental sicknesses that are the most powerful influence in the household rather than the ATI ideology.

 

I say that because I was in what I consider a family cult, and I escaped without any deprogramming, and some friends of mine have done the same. So I do wonder whether that would really be needed in their case, if the Jim Bob influence is as strong as I think it may be, compared to the ATI influence. Now, I was warped for life, and certainly in need of psychological help, but the influences are different when it's mostly an individual doing the warping rather than a formal system and ideology.

 

I am sure the Duggars have experienced both kinds of cultishness, but I don't know what the balance would be. I expect it may differ from kid to kid, depending on how involved they've been with actual ATI programs.

[Cherrio]

I'm of two minds about this, mainly because I don't know how much time and energy they actually spend on learning and practicing Gothard principles by name and participating in Gothard activities designed to warp their brains and how much they're mostly confined within the family system instead. I wonder whether Jim Bob and Michelle confine the kids so much that most of them are more in a family cult than in the Gothard cult, because it's Jim Bob's and Michelle's mental sicknesses that are the most powerful influence in the household rather than the ATI ideology.

 

I say that because I was in what I consider a family cult, and I escaped without any deprogramming, and some friends of mine have done the same. So I do wonder whether that would really be needed in their case, if the Jim Bob influence is as strong as I think it may be, compared to the ATI influence. Now, I was warped for life, and certainly in need of psychological help, but the influences are different when it's mostly an individual doing the warping rather than a formal system and ideology.

 

I am sure the Duggars have experienced both kinds of cultishness, but I don't know what the balance would be. I expect it may differ from kid to kid, depending on how involved they've been with actual ATI programs.

Great post on such a complicated topic.  I guess there are no pat answers.    :)

[Julia]

I think Jim Bob's political influence skewed that balance some. If the local establishment, from law enforcement to the judiciary to the Governor and national politicians, are all invested in Jim Bob having a get out of jail free card, and you've seen him use it over and over to protect the guy who molested you, chances are you've probably decided that the chances of escape are not good. Besides, I'm not sure any of them have any clear idea what they'd be escaping to.

Edited September 7, 2015 by Julia

[Churchhoney]

Besides, I'm not sure any of them have any clear idea what they'd be escaping to.

 

Yeah, I definitely agree. I guess that's why I'm heavily in favor of Jill and the others seeing something else, almost anything else, in hopes they'll develop some sense of how much is in the world beyond what's been force fed them all these years. They'll never conceive of any alternatives if they just continue in the echo chamber, I don't think.

[CofCinci]

Run around from church to church to church to church to church to church to church to church begging?

Yep.  They probably have the route memorized.

[GeeGolly]

Yep.  They probably have the route memorized.

So, do they have separate monies? Like when they're home in the US they don't spend donor money? I would think that there are guidelines for how a non-profit can spend money, but their non-profit seems very ambiguous. 

[CofCinci]

Looks like Jill and Derrick went to Amy's wedding in the same clothes they begged for money wearing earlier in the day.

https://instagram.com/p/7Vz-p2wizV/?tagged=duggar

https://instagram.com/p/7VziBGBQGF/?tagged=amyduggar

Edited September 7, 2015 by CofCinci

[sshellowe]

Would you think the statement "will be home for a while might mean, that we went to a place really icky, and we need more donations to go to a less dirty location?".....I wonder if they are checking to see if there might be missionary work being done on a nice Caribbean island....

[sometimesy]

Would you think the statement "will be home for a while might mean, that we went to a place really icky, and we need more donations to go to a less dirty location?".....I wonder if they are checking to see if there might be missionary work being done on a nice Caribbean island....

 

More like, the painters are delayed and they are still interviewing cleaning staff.

[auntieminem]

I went to one of my church's colleges and met many MKs (missionary kids).  They were actually more liberal and open minded than most other students.  They had a deep love and respect for the people they grew up with on the mission field. They also were open to incorporating the culture's traditions and beliefs into Christian traditions.  Missions from the denomination did lots of good things but they still did start churches and minister to the soul.  They also built schools, clinics, homes, etc.  I wish Jill and Derick's mission was more like that but who knows they may hook up with a more service oriented group in the future. Or better yet, come back to the states and work with and help the needy in this country (anyplace but Arkansas).  

 

I have not been into organized religion for a long time and have always been very liberal but I don't have a problem with missionaries.  I do understand and partially agree with those who do not think mission work is right or ethical.