Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[GEML]

I hate to say it, but given Jill's upbringing, I really would not envy her children's upbringing in a challenging country with a large number of children. Two or three is fine. More than that and I think things become difficult for the children because she won't know differently, won't have anyone to help her, and far fewer modern conveniences.

I don't want to read about a laundry room incident in Nepal twenty years from now.

But they should definitely go NOW.

[Jordan Baker]

I'm happy that they're breaking away from the family, but the practical side of me wonders about Derrick's job. Is he taking a leave of absence, or is he resigning?

[Fuzzysox]

I'm happy that they're breaking away from the family, but the practical side of me wonders about Derrick's job. Is he taking a leave of absence, or is he resigning?

Shrug, makes no sense that Derick would give up his job so quickly after getting it. Have they thought about where they will live if Boob sells the house? Can't buy a house without money and I think it would be foolish to quit a job with benefits and insurance.

Edited June 3, 2015 by Fuzzysox

[riverblue22]

I know people who have been to Nepal and it is no place for an infant at this time.  I have friends who were considering going on a Baptist mission trip but they were talked out of it (they are rather elderly).  The conditions are very bad, resources minimal.

[Bella]

So Jill is presumably going with Derick to Nepal, right? This is the big announcement?

 

How would this square with a Jill-and-Jessa TLC show, were one to go forward? I don't believe that TLC would park a camera crew in Nepal.

[Marigny]

So apparently Jill and Derick's big announcement is that they want to do "extended" mission work in Nepal. No specific timeline given so I hope they wait at least a few more months until Israel is older before they decide to leave. From the DailyMail - 

Hmm I find the part about Jim Bob's reactions very interesting...

 

Talk about divine timing!

 

Josh and family probably get Jill's mansion because the house he purchased a few months ago is not liveable.

Of course Josh will get the house. Only the best for Precious Josh. 

[GEML]

We have friends who just returned. Is it an ideal place to take an infant? No. But he may not be an infant by the time they go. There may be a preparation time and perhaps some fund raising. I'd be more concerned that Jill will be pregnant again that that they are taking a healthy baby.

[Gweilo]

I definitely agree that there might be some fairly major obstacles, but just the fact that they are thinking about getting out of their creeepy family circle is really encouraging. 

 

A thought I had:  In general, the attitude in Asia towards birth control is MUCH more pragmatic (I know in China and Singapore you can buy the pill off the shelf, next to the strepsils!)  It's not as ideologically-charged as it sounds like it is in Arkansas.  So even if Jill was thinking about maybe considering talking to someone to learn how to imagine herself possibly wanting to think about some form of family planning, there's going to be lot less guilt-inducing scaremongering, and a lot more pragmatism.  MAYBE she won't have 40 billion children? 

[SometimesBites]

I know people who have been to Nepal and it is no place for an infant at this time.  I have friends who were considering going on a Baptist mission trip but they were talked out of it (they are rather elderly).  The conditions are very bad, resources minimal.

Agreed. All mission fields are not analogous! I have a dear friend who is Nepalese and lives in Kathmandu. The current situation is a tinderbox for a panoply of health risks (see this link to Nepal info from the CDC: http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/yellowbook/2014/chapter-4-select-destinations/nepal).Babies, even breastfed babies, have delicate immune systems--IMO, this is not a timely choice, and it is hauntingly reminiscent of Michelle's blind insistence on getting pregnant after she had become wildly high-risk for pre-eclampsia, premature birth, stillbirth, miscarriage, and death.

 

If Jill and Derrick didn't have a baby, I'd say yeah, go for it--getting out in the real world and living somewhere very different (not just cruising through on a TLC junket while Jim Bob makes stupid, ignorant remarks...) is exactly what the Duggar offspring need. In fact going into a country that has a much older culture and religious tradition than they can fathom would be a nice addition to their rather *thin* education.

 

But not with a tiny babe in arms (and the intention, I'm sure, of birthing more, ASAP).

Edited June 4, 2015 by SometimesBites

[CofCinci]

Jill's tears in the promo for tomorrow night's interview are so upsetting and raw. They don't look like the tears of forgiveness.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

 So even if Jill was thinking about maybe considering talking to someone to learn how to imagine herself possibly wanting to think about some form of family planning, there's going to be lot less guilt-inducing scaremongering, and a lot more pragmatism.  MAYBE she won't have 40 billion children? 

 

Good lord, I hope you are right. It would be an actual victory if she and Derick chose to stop at just a few children (and even more so if Josh and Anna stop NOW). I would love it if the 19 Duggar children produced no more than 30 grandchildren altogether. Not because I'm some eugenicist weirdo; I just think every single one of them would benefit from a small, manageable family life after growing up in the monkey cage of the Tonitown Zoo.

[Saylii]

I have a classmate from college doing missionary and now rebuilding work in Nepal. His family is currently living in New Delhi in a comfortable lifestyle while he does the hard work. They'll join him on long weekends to help, but it's too hard currently to live in Nepal. There's just too few basic services after the earthquake. His family did live in Nepal before, but had moved out prior to the earthquakes. His kids are elementary age.

I could see Jill doing something similar, especially if she took a sister with them.

If Derrick has a scheduled start and stop date, Walmart could grant him a personal leave of absence. But accounting jobs are a dime a dozen, especially around tax time. I bet Derrick just quits on the belief he'll find something else later if he really wants.

[Spencer Hastings]

My heart hurt for Jill in that preview for Friday's interview. Jilly Muffin is a lot of things but she didn't deserve any of this. I would be devastated if I were in her position. I can't imagine how much of a nightmare this must be for her. She particularly seems like she really tries to be perfect and find the best part of any situation. Seeing her so torn up over this will be tough.

[Missmissie173]

I hope that Jill & Derrick run, not walk to Nepal! They are young and healthy, and baby Iz will be just fine....anyway, free-range parenting is coming back in style.

 

My second hope is they take Jana with them.  These girls have had enough misery to last several lifetimes. Maybe Jana can meet a nice non-fundie guy or gal in Nepal and they can all tell Jim Boob & Michelle to F-off for ever.

 

Let Josh be the new, designated scullery maid. After all, he needs a job. 

[Skittl1321]

Jill's tears in the promo for tomorrow night's interview are so upsetting and raw. They don't look like the tears of forgiveness.

Based on the quotes I've read from her and Jessa, they look like tears of "the media has failed us, the report was 'illegally' obtained". 

[CofCinci]

Based on the quotes I've read from her and Jessa, they look like tears of "the media has failed us, the report was 'illegally' obtained".

Yep. Blame the media or the legal system that released the documents instead of the parents who didn't protect you.

[Saylii]

Based on the quotes I've read from her and Jessa, they look like tears of "the media has failed us, the report was 'illegally' obtained".

I will say of all the media failed us arguments, the girls have the most valid claim. Those reports absolutely should have been redacted more to protect their identities as victims from leaking. Couldn't have stopped speculation but it's better then having everyone know. There was nothing gained in the process of taking Josh and the Duggars down by knowingly releasing the identities of four victims.

[mbutterfly]

I hope they go. Now, more than ever, being their own family and making their own decisions and creating their own memories is desperately what they need.

I hope so too, now more than ever. For both of them their heart for foreign mission seems genuine. Given the timing, I'm assuming they would be deeply involved in organizing and distributing critically needed supplies to devastated areas in Nepal. Heck, I wish I could go too. 

[JoanArc]

They had ten years of positive media attention. I guess they never realized the media can turn on you.

 

On another note, I did rewatch the original special on youtube. Jill's got the same voice as her 11-year-old self. I mean, exactly, the energy, the emotion, the intellectual level, etc.; total arrested development. If I closed my eyes I couldn't tell the difference between child Jill and adult Jill, unless she was talking about Nepal or courtships. That's a hell of a developmental delay. The victimization affected her.

 

It sounds like the Nepal decision was made before the scandal. I kind of wonder if they're still going to do it. I'm worried about Jill's mental health.

Edited June 4, 2015 by JoanArc

[Clemgo3165]

Yep. Blame the media or the legal system that released the documents instead of the parents who didn't protect you.

 

From what I've seen from Michelle's interview, it seemed like she was more upset for the girls that the gravy train was leaving the station without them rather than that their privacy had been invaded.

[Happyfatchick]

She probably will not have as many children as shed once dreamed, instead she will start moving toward adoption of neaplaese orphaned children. I hope they do allow her to use her midwifery skills. Is she close enough to finish up her license in the state's before they go? I watched the interview, but didn't see this announcement. When did we find this out?

[ramble]

If they go at some point Jill could gain some great real world experience being a midwives assistant & learning at her feet so to speak. Jill seems to really have had a desire to be a midwife & maybe that could eventually become a reality. The idea of the possibility makes me happy for her. I know a lady who was a midwife for years in several countries as her missionary work. She felt called to minister to women, was determined to be useful & had a prior medical background. Her stories of her time doing that are incredible.

[asuwur]

I see the tears as a combination of many aspects. Hurt, confusion, betrayal.......It's raw and it's real and yes, there are even practical concerns such as money. As survivors of a myriad of different kids of abuses from brainwashing to indentured servitude to Josh to  having a chapter they considered closed, reopened for all the world to see, both JillyMuffin and Jessa are absodamnlutely entitled to feel anyway they want. They're processing a lot right now. Plus we're also dealing with two young women coping with many a hormonal fluctuation as well due to pregnancy and post-partum situations.

[trimthatfat]

I see the tears as a combination of many aspects. Hurt, confusion, betrayal.......It's raw and it's real and yes, there are even practical concerns such as money. As survivors of a myriad of different kids of abuses from brainwashing to indentured servitude to Josh to  having a chapter they considered closed, reopened for all the world to see, both JillyMuffin and Jessa are absodamnlutely entitled to feel anyway they want. They're processing a lot right now. Plus we're also dealing with two young women coping with many a hormonal fluctuation as well due to pregnancy and post-partum situations.

ITA. I didn't and won't watch any of the interviews, but I caught a clip of the Jill and Jessa interview this morning on the news. Jill looked broken. I feel very much for her and the other victims. She's a new wife and a new mom, is probably already overwhelmed as it is, and now she's known to everyone as the 'victim'. My heart breaks for her. It really does. It's possible her and Jessa have had closure with the situation, but now the wound is reopened...I would be a flood of emotions, too.

Edited June 4, 2015 by trimthatfat

[Absolom]

In one of the articles about what the next season would be/would have been about there was a line about Jill's medical issues after the birth.  I'm curious, I admit it, and wonder what they are and if that is affecting her still.

 

ETA:  It helps to have all the words in there. 

Edited June 4, 2015 by Absolom

[GEML]

I've been worried about Jill's mental health since the birth. Not because she's Jill Duggar, but because she had red flags flying before any of this started. I don't care what she comes out and blames, I think the most important thing anyone should see is that her life has radically gone from fairy tale to stark and all too sharp reality in the course of one year, and that is intensely painful for anyone who has walked a similar type of year.

[BitterApple]

I think Jill has the intellect and emotional maturity of a 14 or 15 year old. She's now being forced to face some very unpleasant adult issues and isn't handling it well. Even before the scandal broke she seemed to be floundering as a mother. In all honesty she reminds me of the dumb teenagers on 16 & Pregnant who think having a baby leads to some white picket fence dream, only to be hit with a brutal reality check a month after giving birth.

Edited June 4, 2015 by BitterApple

[Marigny]

Jill's tears in the promo for tomorrow night's interview are so upsetting and raw. They don't look like the tears of forgiveness.

Those tears looked like straight up fear to me. Fear that her whole picture perfect world just got turned upside down. Fear that they might have to go back to living from pillar to post as they did before the TLC gravy train pulled into town. Most of all, fear that this is all her fault because she was the one that spoke up all those years ago. 

Edited June 4, 2015 by Marigny

[Missy Vixen]

Nepal isn't going to fix it. If Jilly Muffin is already pregnant again, leaving the US for uncertain prenatal care in a devastated country is probably not a great move. If her husband is still working for Wal Mart, maybe the best thing to do would be to move out of Daddy's house, find a place they can afford (come on, derickdillard, you can probably buy a house outright from what you all made off of the People "exclusives") and use his insurance benefits to find a very good counselor for Jill. It's hard to imagine that either one of them want to spend a lot of time with her parents right now.

 

I hope that derickdillard's mom and brother have been in close contact with them. IMHO, but he's going to need all the help he can get to help his wife.

[Darknight]

Jill is the goody two shoes. She did everything right. Right is this happening to her. She didn't get the birth she wanted and now this. She must've sinned for God to do this to her. She did everything daddy and mommy told her to do. Derrick needs to grow a pair and cut off JimChelle, get Jill some real therapy and allow her to heal

[Sunnybobs]

I really hope Derrick is pulled away from ATI etc from this scandal and not drawn further into that world. I can honestly see it going either way at the moment but genuinely hope for Jill & Israel's mental health and happiness that they see a way out to a more mainstream baptist church and life.

[Wellfleet]

From what I've seen from Michelle's interview, it seemed like she was more upset for the girls that the gravy train was leaving the station without them rather than that their privacy had been invaded.

 

Sorry to say I agree. I think if Boob had been assured that TLC was going ahead with the show, there never would have been an interview or any desire at all to "tell their story." Maybe not even one where they'd be paid.

[GEML]

I wouldn't wish the past year Jill went through on anyone. It's all well and good to talk about maturity and spiritual growth or "the best thing that could happen to them is to get an apartment and live within their means" yadda yadda, but her whole world crashed this year and that's incredibly painful. Some people never come back from that kind of disillusionment, or they come out more "brainwashed" than ever.

[Absolom]

Jill has a lot of work to do if she doesn't want to become Michelle 2.  Otherwise she's going to stay that early teen girl the rest of her life.  I think she stands a horrible chance of having arrested development at an even earlier age than Michelle if she doesn't get some help from Derick's family, real church family, or professional help.  

[Missy Vixen]

GEML, here's a practical reason why the Dillards might want to move out of their house and find something a bit more nondescript. The house has been shown on national TV, it's in an easy-to-find area, and it's hard to believe that the press/photographers haven't found it already. In other words, it's a security issue, let alone the fact that as long as they live in that house, her father is calling the shots both financially and in the family.

 

It's my opinion that their marriage is not going to survive the past year unless they learn to stand on their own two feet and become "we" instead of "me, you and your parents".

[GEML]

I agree, and she's starting from a more sheltered place and going through a much more brutal circumstance than Michelle ever did.

Given where they live, do you really think people won't know where they live? I agree about the "we" but the idea that she's in a place to easily do that right now is, in my opinion, an incredibly assumption.

[mythoughtis]

Derick needs to stay at Walmart for now... health insurance, other benefits, and a good paycheck.  Nepal won't work if there's no Duggar money supporting them while they are gone.  They need to move (for more privacy) as far as they can get from Jim Bob  and Michelle  (for independence)  and have Derick able to commute to work.  They need a second car for Jill (so that she feels like an adult).  After that they need to breathe, put one foot in front of the other, and veg out for a while. 

[Fosca]

I agree, and she's starting from a more sheltered place and going through a much more brutal circumstance than Michelle ever did.

Given where they live, do you really think people won't know where they live? I agree about the "we" but the idea that she's in a place to easily do that right now is, in my opinion, an incredibly assumption.

I suspect that, while the local community will know where they live, there's a very good chance that the community won't tell oursiders. From what I understand of the area, they are not overly fond of the press, and are likely to keep knowledge to themselves, particularly since it is one of the girls.

Now Josh, they'd out him in a second. I would.

[JoanArc]

Jim Bob wants seven figures for Jill's house. He may need them to move out before much longer, so he can try to get it. The Duggar money tree is dying.

[Cherrio]

Jim Bob wants seven figures for Jill's house. He may need them to move out before much longer, so he can try to get it. The Duggar money tree is dying.

Really? It has a lot of sq. footage but the place is awful.   I also wouldn't trust any work that was done on it either. 

[Missy Vixen]

Jim Bob wants seven figures for Jill's house. He may need them to move out before much longer, so he can try to get it. The Duggar money tree is dying.

He's not getting anywhere near seven figures for that house. Plus, if I was derickdillard, I wouldn't allow anyone in that house right now but family members, and maybe not most of them.

 

I am crossing my fingers for a comfortable, cozy home in a tightly-knit, friendly neighborhood that will welcome their little family and lie like a rug when they're asked by press or tabloids to talk about "the new neighbors".

[JoanArc]

Really? It has a lot of sq. footage but the place is awful.   I also wouldn't trust any work that was done on it either. 

IIRC he spent something like $100k, and asked something like 1.1mil. A pipe dream of course, but a hundred grand will look good to Jim Bob in a few months. I'm sure it has the same build quality as the TTH, pre-TLC.

[Marigny]

The part that kills me was JB saying “This was not rape or anything like that. It was touching someone over the clothes. It was, like, a few seconds. Then he came to us and crying told us what happened. As parents you feel like a failure when one of your kids does something wrong. If I had done more training this wouldn’t have happened. The truth is, kids will make their own choices, even though you have taught them right or wrong.”

 

So if it's just a few seconds (and since when did the 5 second rule apply in this situation?) and it's over the clothes then it's ok? Especially if you have a soft heart (whatever the hell THAT is) and come crying to mommy afterward? Please. Go ahead and have several thousand seats.

 

I also agree with the posters who said the Duggars probably had no idea what signing on for a reality show meant, because they don't own a tv and probably don't pay attention to much past the local news. I'm betting for as many times as they have been in People magazine they've never actually read a copy. So they're in a world of shock as to how the media treats "celebrities" during a scandal. I'm sure it's just blown their collective minds.

 

Also, makes me wonder. Do Jessa/Ben or Jill/Derick have tv? I would think it'd help pass the time with their husbands away working. They could learn a thing or two by watching E! or even a Kathy Griffin stand-up special. Then they might start to understand how this works.

Jill & Derrick for sure have a tv. Not sure about the other two. 

[Sew Sumi]

Yep. Blame the media or the legal system that released the documents instead of the parents who didn't protect you.

She's totally Stockholm Syndromed. AND she's pissed that the gravy train may be coming to an end. Sad.

[Darknight]

Does anyone think Derrick has enough sense to not get Jill pregnant right now.

[BitterApple]

I suspect that, while the local community will know where they live, there's a very good chance that the community won't tell oursiders. From what I understand of the area, they are not overly fond of the press, and are likely to keep knowledge to themselves, particularly since it is one of the girls.

Now Josh, they'd out him in a second. I would.

I remember watching an interview with Jaycee Dugard and she said the community in which she lives now is fiercely protective of her and her daughters' privacy and residents don't speak to reporters. I can imagine the same would be true for Jill. Townspeople might see Boob, Michelle and Josh as fair game, but they would have to be pretty effed up to sell out a sexual abuse victim to the paparazzi. Edited June 5, 2015 by BitterApple

[mynextmistake]

Jim Bob wants seven figures for Jill's house. He may need them to move out before much longer, so he can try to get it. The Duggar money tree is dying.

In rural Arkansas? It's official, the man has taken leave of what little sense he originally had.

[NikSac]

Really? It has a lot of sq. footage but the place is awful.   I also wouldn't trust any work that was done on it either. 

 

No kidding. I would be wondering if an 8 year old happened to watch a contractor for a day and decided to re-wire the place or something. (ok I'm exaggerating, but not by that much!). 

 

I remember watching an interview with Jaycee Dugard and she said the community in which she lives now is fiercely protective of her and her daughters' privacy and residents don't speak to reporters. I can imagine the same would be true for Jill. Townspeople might see Boob, Michelle and Josh as fair game, but they would have to be pretty effed up to sell out a sexual abuse victim to the paparazzi.

 

Wow that is awesome! I missed that one somehow. I'm not much older than Jaycee and live not far from where she went missing. I remember trying to look for her for years, anytime my family was out anywhere. I am glad she's found somewhere safe and protected to live.  I really hope Derick and Jill can do the same. Or for that matter if they go to Nepal, I bet no one will care and they won't even have to worry about it.

[regardez]

I wouldn't wish the past year Jill went through on anyone. It's all well and good to talk about maturity and spiritual growth or "the best thing that could happen to them is to get an apartment and live within their means" yadda yadda, but her whole world crashed this year and that's incredibly painful. Some people never come back from that kind of disillusionment, or they come out more "brainwashed" than ever.

What happened in Jill's year before this? Sorry if I missed something major. I only started keeping up with the family after the scandal broke.

[DangerousMinds]

She got everything she wanted?