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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

Chris Knight

By Chris Knight
in Counting On

CM-CrispMtAir
Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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mynextmistake
mynextmistake

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mynextmistake

Day 438. I continue my efforts to escape from the hovel in which my captors have imprisoned me. Last week, while eating my meager portion of undercooked chunks of sweet potato, I noticed a small vent

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mynextmistake

Day 978. My captors continue to torture me with days of endless monotony and wretched food. I amuse myself as best I can by anonymously emailing the female guard fake news items about the worldwide cl

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absnow54

absnow54

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

Jill had to call JB in TN for permission to go to the TTH to assist Jessa in labor last May. So yeah, the ostracizing applies to her.

With film crew in tow because Jill was in that episode. 

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LilJen

LilJen

(edited)
21 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

But we sorta knew this. One can’t be a great parent to 19 children it’s just not possible. 
 

You can provide adequate shelter and food etc but neglect them by not having time to get to know each kid individually. Doubt Pops and Lolli can name 3 things each kid likes/is good at. 

Sadly, I know parents with very few children, but they have treated them as a mere annoyance their whole lives. Kids can be really devastated by this.  (In fairness, some of these parents have been through some bad stuff themselves. Some are just jerks.) 😞

Edited by LilJen
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Nysha

Nysha

I think Jill is trying to parent differently than she was parented, especially since they've moved into their new home. I think it's always going to be hard for her because she is so emotionally needy herself and she's not a kid person. 

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Growsonwalls

Growsonwalls

I wonder if Jill is seeing a therapist. That post sounds very much like a therapy journal. I know this because I was once in therapy saying "if I died no one would miss me" and the therapist had me write a journal of people I was in regular contact with and how THEY would respond. It was actually really helpful. 

So if the therapist is telling Jill to COUNT her blessings (as in come up with concrete things to be thankful about) it's not a bad therapeutic choice and it might help Jill feel less in a funk.

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kokapetl

kokapetl

3 hours ago, Growsonwalls said:

I wonder if Jill is seeing a therapist. That post sounds very much like a therapy journal. I know this because I was once in therapy saying "if I died no one would miss me" and the therapist had me write a journal of people I was in regular contact with and how THEY would respond. It was actually really helpful. 

So if the therapist is telling Jill to COUNT her blessings (as in come up with concrete things to be thankful about) it's not a bad therapeutic choice and it might help Jill feel less in a funk.

How does that make you feel?

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SMama

SMama

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(edited)

“Did you know that counting specific blessings vs. redundant, broad ones has been shown to increase happiness?“

I found this quote (there’s more on her instagram post) very interesting. The Duggars are all about redundant, broad platitudes.  If Jill is getting help, or just reading to expand her world view, I’m happy for her.  Every baby step will make a difference. Will she ever become a fully functional adult? I have no idea, but every bit of improvement, every step she takes away from her parents’ cult will result in a better quality of life. As a friend used to say about our CPS parents, they are doing the best they can with the tools they have.  JB and M made sure Jill and siblings had no tools to function in the real world.  They purposed (pun intended) to handicap their children for life to guaranty their eternal dependence upon their parents. Vile.

Edited by SMama
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yogi2014L

yogi2014L

(edited)

IMO, even with all the help in the wold, you cannot be a a good parent when you have 19 kids.   I am glad she is realizing that her parents are terrible, selfish people and hopefully she believes she can do better. 

Edited by yogi2014L
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questionfear

questionfear

On 1/31/2020 at 3:52 PM, BigBingerBro said:

Is Israel drinking from a baby bottle??b1m4f6ydf6e41.jpg

Why is Sam wearing a hat that makes him look like either an extra in Medieval times or like he's ready for the London Blitz, depending on how you squint?

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crazy8s

crazy8s

(edited)

"the Wild Brothers" - home schooled missionary kids living of the grid in the jungle....

https://answersingenesis.org/wild-brothers/

They are living off the grid with solar, collecting rain water and wood fire cooking. kids claim to be fluent in tribal languages. while selling dvds maintaining a blog and fb page and selling merchandise.

When Jill watches this, I wonder how she feels about being a fearful washout as a "missionary" on the fenced and secure SOS ministry compound,  in a house build for them, with a refrigerator daddy bought, never becoming fluent in spanish etc

 

Edited by crazy8s
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3 is enough

3 is enough

Glad to see Israel wearing a helmet.  Still baffled by the bib.  If anything, it creates a space between him and the table which would lead to more messes.  All I can think of is that maybe he is very fastidious and he freaks out if he gets dirty?  It actually looks uncomfortable.

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Absolom

Absolom

If he must wear a bib, she should buy something larger than an infant size.  I'm surprised that thing still fastens.  Really though teach him to eat properly if he can't.  In the real world, he'd be going to school this fall.

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emma675

emma675

Quote

Still baffled by the bib.  If anything, it creates a space between him and the table which would lead to more messes.  All I can think of is that maybe he is very fastidious and he freaks out if he gets dirty?  It actually looks uncomfortable.

That's what I don't understand, I feel like the bib sticks out in such a way as to make more messes, not help prevent any. My brother used to have a bib like this when he was a toddler (this was wayyyy back in the 80's, lol) and when he finally started using it to store food he didn't like and small toys, my mom realized he was too old for it. I think he was about two years old at the time. Isn't Izzy pushing 5?

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JoanArc

JoanArc

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(edited)
2 hours ago, Absolom said:

In the real world, he'd be going to school this fall.

 Ouch, that really drives it home. 

“Local mom discovers way to be free of kids for 6 to 8 hours a day! Homeschoolers hate her! “

Edited by JoanArc
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Growsonwalls

Growsonwalls

Maybe I;m reading too much into it but I wonder if Jill wants to keep her boys looking little and small and thus the bibs and sippy cups. They're both getting to the point where they're no longer "toddler cute" and maybe that dries up the gifts and sponsorships. And for whatever reason Jill is not planning on another "blessing" anytime soon.

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Tasya

Tasya

Is it a construction playground? We have one near us. Actual construction equipment and everything. Personally I hate it, you have to pay a lot of attention to your kid rather than just allowing them to run free. Thank God that my son doesn't ask to go there frequently. 

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Zella

Zella

(edited)
29 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

How far does Jill live from Jessa?  I'm surprised they don't get together more for play-dates....

They live about 20 minutes apart, and Jill is about the same distance from the TTH. In contrast, Jessa is about 15 minutes away from the TTH. I don't think it's an issue of convenience at all for them not doing play dates together. It wouldn't surprise me if Jessa is shunning Jill in keeping with her dad's wishes, except for when she feels like she needs her, i.e. when she was giving birth. Perhaps I'm being uncharitable to Jessa, but I doubt it. 

Edited by Zella
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JoanArc

JoanArc

(edited)
Quote

I think Jill has always been Jessa's least favorite Duggar, with Jana a close second.

 And now she’s been dumped by Jingle. Alone again, naturally. 

Edited by JoanArc
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Sew Sumi

Sew Sumi

5 minutes ago, Zella said:

They live about 20 minutes apart, and Jill is about the same distance from the TTH. In contrast, Jessa is about 15 minutes away from the TTH. I don't think it's an issue of convenience at all for them not doing play dates together. It wouldn't surprise me if Jessa is shunning Jill in keeping with her dad's wishes, except for when she feels like she needs her, i.e. when she was giving birth. Perhaps I'm being uncharitable to Jessa, but I doubt it. 

That's how I read the situation as well.

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