Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Mojitogirl]

I’ve said this before but Jill is really the sister that has most expanded her world. Jinger might live in LA but she’s still a follower of Jeremy’s whims and interests. Jill has a house to maintain, she’s overwhelmed but she stays home with her kids and does activities with them. They’ve been to the pumpkin patch, the zoo, the library and had play dates with sweet friends, none of which seemed to have been filmed for TLC.  Plus, she wears whatever she wants around her family - have we seen Jinger do it?  I noticed even Abbie is now almost full time wearing skirts.  

I find her annoying (and Derrick more so), but I’m rooting for her to expand her world and her mind so that will trickle down to her children  

Jessa, oddly, has disappeared. Her trickling out of Ivy pictures, few cute family shots, and not going to LA is out of character. However, she has never shown us that she has expanded her or her children’s world as she’s always at at TTC. I hope that emotionally she’s ok since she used to get energy from her public persona. 

[libgirl2]

55 minutes ago, Mojitogirl said:

I’ve said this before but Jill is really the sister that has most expanded her world. Jinger might live in LA but she’s still a follower of Jeremy’s whims and interests. Jill has a house to maintain, she’s overwhelmed but she stays home with her kids and does activities with them. They’ve been to the pumpkin patch, the zoo, the library and had play dates with sweet friends, none of which seemed to have been filmed for TLC.  Plus, she wears whatever she wants around her family - have we seen Jinger do it?  I noticed even Abbie is now almost full time wearing skirts.  

I'm not the only one who noticed that. You brought up a good point, Jill did have pants at Lauren's shower. Granted they were those ugly green wrinkly ones, but they were pants!

[Suzn]

1 hour ago, Mojitogirl said:

I’ve said this before but Jill is really the sister that has most expanded her world. Jinger might live in LA but she’s still a follower of Jeremy’s whims and interests. Jill has a house to maintain, she’s overwhelmed but she stays home with her kids and does activities with them. They’ve been to the pumpkin patch, the zoo, the library and had play dates with sweet friends, none of which seemed to have been filmed for TLC.  Plus, she wears whatever she wants around her family - have we seen Jinger do it?  I noticed even Abbie is now almost full time wearing skirts.  

I find her annoying (and Derrick more so), but I’m rooting for her to expand her world and her mind so that will trickle down to her children  

Jessa, oddly, has disappeared. Her trickling out of Ivy pictures, few cute family shots, and not going to LA is out of character. However, she has never shown us that she has expanded her or her children’s world as she’s always at at TTC. I hope that emotionally she’s ok since she used to get energy from her public persona. 

All true, but her response to all of those things always seems "off" and she seems as emotionally stunted as ever.  In her case, exposure to these things doesn't seem to have any effect on her.

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, Suzn said:

All true, but her response to all of those things always seems "off" and she seems as emotionally stunted as ever.  In her case, exposure to these things doesn't seem to have any effect on her.

As emotionally damaged as Jill seems to be, I don't find that surprising. I think she has a lot of unresolved issues from how she was raised and the molestation that's really stunted her maturity and damaged her. It's sad, really.  

That being said, though Jill often frustrates me, I do give her kudos for trying--even if she often fails as she tries. I am hoping the friends she is making at church might be a more gentle but positive influence in guiding her to normalcy than Derrick has been. 

Edited October 10, 2019 by Zella

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

2 hours ago, Zella said:

As emotionally damaged as Jill seems to be, I don't find that surprising. I think she has a lot of unresolved issues from how she was raised and the molestation that's really stunted her maturity and damaged her. It's sad, really.  

That being said, though Jill often frustrates me, I do give her kudos for trying--even if she often fails as she tries. I am hoping the friends she is making at church might be a more gentle but positive influence in guiding her to normalcy than Derrick has been. 

I give her kuddos for trying, too.

And...yeah, she's tone deaf a lot of the time, but I think that's because she's afraid if she tries responding/posting with anything different/new, she may accidentally post something even worse.  Since she doesn't know what is or isn't quite appropriate, she just sticks with what she knows.  She knows what the push back on that will be already.  She's probably worried she'll bungle it worse with trying anything else too far outside of the box and fears the blow-back will be even greater.

Jill is the only Duggar who's doing anything close to "going it on her own"/"going her own way."  She doesn't live on the compound, she is with her boys/not at the TTH all the time, has friends/church outside of Duggardom, and is even (gasp!) going places like the library without other Duggars.  She's trying to adult and be a good mom (even though we criticize her attempts), but she is at least starting to try to create a normal-ish life even with her completely not normal background (how she was raised, lack of education, on a reality tv show, Fundie-ism, etc).  Her beliefs are still pretty vile but I'm hoping she'll continue to meet new people with different life experiences and maybe she'll change those bit by bit (here's hoping).  But Jill at least isn't just insulated on the Duggar compound.  At least she isn't attached to her husband's hip 24/7 and has to adult/experience new things without him (cough, Jinger, cough).  She's trying.  Being a SAHM is exhausting and isolating.  I imagine it's even more so when you come from her isolated background and are awkward with new people/new situations that you have no clue are normal for most people (like a SAHM taking her kids to a library).  Many people in Jill's shoes would give up and spend every day at the TTH while Derrick went to law school and have the remaining sister-moms/sister-moms-in-training parent her kids.  Jill is far from perfect, but at least she is trying to experience life a little bit outside of Duggar-dom and Fundie-dom and seems to want that for her boys.  That alone has to be daunting and full of mini-struggles for Jill every day.  So I say good for Jill.  Keep getting that basic life experience you were denied.  Keep going.  You may be socially awkward and social-media-awkward, but good on you for trying.

Edited October 10, 2019 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[xwordfanatik]

@MyPeopleAreNordic, I've missed your posts.  I hope you are doing well.  I've been wanting to ask you, is your avatar Betty Draper?  I'm rewatching Mad Men, all of it.  I miss that show, and Big Love as well.

Jill comes across as limited in lots of ways, no doubt thanks to her shitty parents, and it's a shame she ended up with Dillweed for a life sentence, but anything resembling trying to break free of her upbringing, and to not oppress her children, is a good sign.  Here's hoping she isn't the only homeschool teacher for the boys, if that ends up being their plan. Surely they have more qualified people in their church circle to expand the kids' horizons.

[ginger90]

[Lunera]

It kind of looks like she's using the old age filter. She looks like a woman in her 60s.

[QuinnInND]

Daxton Ryan? 🤦‍♀️ Ugh. Bad as one of my students. Kaydence. 

Lose the nose stud, Jilly. Lose it, about a foot of hair, and that nasty skinny maloderous troll you're married to. In that order. 

I wonder if she's even got enough introspection to realize how stunted and screwed up she is. You can't fix what you don't realize is broken. 

[Zella]

Does this mean the Great Emoji War hatchet of 2019 is buried between Jill and Amy? Inquiring minds want to know! 

[Sew Sumi]

Jill has shilled for 3130 and gotten lots of free swag. I'd say Famy has forgiven Jill.

[Zella]

Just now, Sew Sumi said:

Jill has shilled for 3130 and gotten lots of free swag. I'd say Famy has forgiven Jill.

True!

[Temperance]

I'm okay with Jill reading whatever she wants. Especially if it's not something her parents would like.

I'm reading up on the book Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out by Jim Burns. 

It seems that the author's main advice is love and accept your kids as they are. Let them live their own lives as adults. Most of the reviews on Amazon are by people who talk about their kids going to high school and college.

Fundie parents have no boundaries, think they should control the adult children,  and think their kids should exactly live like them. In the fundie world, they own you forever. I have no doubt JB and Michelle have a lot to say about the changes Jill and Derick have made to their lifestyle.  

This is not the first time Jill is reading a book about boundaries. 

One review did say it helped them think about their relationship with their parents.

[Barb23]

16 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I'm hoping Jill didn't bring the boys along to give baby Dax any of their germs.  It is flu season. 

[madpsych78]

Eh, I like Jill's picture with Amy's kid. I noticed her smile isn't as gummy as it usually is.

[libgirl2]

19 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

Eh, I like Jill's picture with Amy's kid. I noticed her smile isn't as gummy as it usually is.

I like it too. 

[dariafan]

She needs to order some Madison Reed to give her hair some color   Brighten those roots 

[galaxychaser]

Jill looks older than Michelle.

[farmgal4]

1 hour ago, madpsych78 said:

Eh, I like Jill's picture with Amy's kid. I noticed her smile isn't as gummy as it usually is.

I think her eyes are a beautiful color in that pic.  That’s one of her better pics IMO.

[farmgal4]

12 hours ago, Temperance said:

I'm okay with Jill reading whatever she wants. Especially if it's not something her parents would like.

I'm reading up on the book Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out by Jim Burns. 

It seems that the author's main advice is love and accept your kids as they are. Let them live their own lives as adults. Most of the reviews on Amazon are by people who talk about their kids going to high school and college.

Fundie parents have no boundaries, think they should control the adult children,  and think their kids should exactly live like them. In the fundie world, they own you forever. I have no doubt JB and Michelle have a lot to say about the changes Jill and Derick have made to their lifestyle.  

This is not the first time Jill is reading a book about boundaries. 

One review did say it helped them think about their relationship with their parents.

You just described my parents to a T, and they’re not Fundie.

[Suzn]

48 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

I think her eyes are a beautiful color in that pic.  That’s one of her better pics IMO.

There is something about the light in that pic that makes her hair look more golden and her eyes a brighter, lighter blue.

[PradaKitty]

Who knew hospital lighting could be flattering?

[Jynnan tonnix]

6 hours ago, Suzn said:

There is something about the light in that pic that makes her hair look more golden and her eyes a brighter, lighter blue.

Except that while her hair looks golden where the light is hitting her, it looks exceptionally dull at her roots and temples. I was going to ask about that earlier. Is it just the contrast in the lighting? Or she may have just upped the saturation of color for the photo and it didn't make as much difference in the more shadowed areas of her face. Or has she been dyeing her hair? Might she be showing some early gray at the roots? I suspect it's probably the former.

[cmr2014]

On 10/10/2019 at 5:37 PM, ginger90 said:

If this is a filter, and Jill intentionally did this to her face, that would make me really sad -- she just has no talent at anything, does she? On the other hand, it would probably help if she made any effort at all . . .

[xwordfanatik]

Her hair colors looks suspiciously close to mine, with the dark/mixed with white roots, and dark golden blonde otherwise.  I color my hair, and I'm over 60.  It's like someone previously posted, that she used some kind of filter to make herself look older.  I don't have any photoshop skills, so I'm just guessing.  

[dariafan]

Looking like that isn’t going to help her future R&F “career” 

[GeeGolly]

Maybe Jill has practiced in the mirror to achieve a wide eyed look without her mouth wide open and her forehead wrinkled.

On second thought her forehead looks altered. Maybe that's why her roots look gray.

[Annabel11]

On 10/10/2019 at 6:37 PM, ginger90 said:

That baby is stressed out! Look at the wrinkled brow and they've stuffed his mouth with a pacifier. Poor baby!

Edited October 12, 2019 by Annabel11

[Totally]

I don’t see a stressed baby. Looks like a baby who is slightly sleepy while also settling into a new world outside the womb. 

While it’s a good photo of Jill it’s also a bad photo of Jill🤔

[doodlebug]

4 hours ago, Annabel11 said:

That baby is stressed out! Look at the wrinkled brow and they've stuffed his mouth with a pacifier. Poor baby!

Looks like he's just sleepy like most newborns.  Amy better watch out though.  If she thinks she got flak for the cesarean, wait 'til the online lactation police get a look at that kid with a pacifier in his mouth!  Oh, the shame!

I think Jill has been practicing her smiles for the camera and is trying to learn to show less gums and wrinkling her forehead/raising her brows less.  To me, those are real things that one can reasonably change with some effort.  Her hair length and color are a lot bigger steps to take.  I'm ok if she starts small, I like the photo.  I think her most recent photos have generally been a lot better than the squinting into the sun, gummy smiling, wrinkled foreheaded messes she used to post.  She gets credit for effort from me.

I am hoping that in the coming months, she rethinks her hairstyle, or lack thereof, and makes some changes there.  As to how old she looks or doesn't, well, a lot of that is heredity and isn't so easily altered.

Edited October 12, 2019 by doodlebug

[Oldernowiser]

I think she used some filter that blurred out her forehead lines, which made everything else look odd.

[farmgal4]

8 hours ago, Annabel11 said:

That baby is stressed out! Look at the wrinkled brow and they've stuffed his mouth with a pacifier. Poor baby!

That paci is too big for a newborn!

[QuinnInND]

1 hour ago, farmgal4 said:

That paci is too big for a newborn!

It's smaller than the ones they gave us for our twins. They were huge. We had to get different ones because they were so big. 

One thing I don't fault Jilly for is her gummy smile. It's not her fault her teeth are small and she's shows a lot of gum when she smiles. It's just the way she is made. 

I can't get over how the Duggars just hand newborns around like hot potatoes. Smh. When my twins came home nobody held them except Mr Quinn and my in laws. And that was after thorough hand washing.  It's a wonder their babies aren't sick all the time. Do they vaccinate? I can't remember if it was ever discussed. 

[LilJen]

On 10/8/2019 at 5:40 PM, Sew Sumi said:

All this Shaun Cassidy talk gave me this earworm that I pass to y'all. I'm a giver like that. 😁

https://youtu.be/l1nTfgUbW48

 Maybe, in honor of Shaun and the 70s and his fantastic feathered hair, we can find some of that old shampoo made with beer (don’t recall the name) and send it to Jill. I do know that the Vermont Country Store sells a remake of Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific, another 1970s shampoo classic.

[Sew Sumi]

I think the Dullards need to consider a gas grill. 😂

[Bayarea4]

4 minutes ago, LilJen said:

 Maybe, in honor of Shaun and the 70s and his fantastic feathered hair, we can find some of that old shampoo made with beer (don’t recall the name) and send it to Jill..

It was called Body on Tap. Imagine Derick and Jill after a couple of beers. Maybe that would help him unclench his sphincter. Jill would probably be a sloppy drunk, though.

[awaken]

Seriously. These kids are in desperate need of stimulation!

[ginger90]

2nd picture is a video:

[Sew Sumi]

@ginger90, beat you to it! 😀

[ginger90]

Disregard 😁

Edited October 13, 2019 by ginger90

[Lunera]

No way they did that so quick. She probably told them to do it so she could have a stupid #momproblems post. 

[ginger90]

4 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

@ginger90, beat you to it! 😀

On my phone I couldn’t tell if yours was a screenshot or included the video. Modern technology. 

[awaken]

#boymom problems 🙄

[Sew Sumi]

It definitely shows that they are left unsupervised for pretty generous periods of time. I guess Derelict delivers for Grub Hub on Saturdays (he was missing during the pumpkin patch visit last week).

[ginger90]

Just now, Sew Sumi said:

It definitely shows that they are left unsupervised for pretty generous periods of time. I guess Derelict delivers for Grub Hub on Saturdays (he was missing during the pumpkin patch visit last week).

Did you like how Jill was speaking, and Israel got in the jeep to drive away? 🤦‍♀️

Always with the freaking phone. Is that a new form of discipline?

[GeeGolly]

Hands up?! Jill a cop now? 👮‍♀️

@ginger90, one would think most parents would handle the situation and then maybe, and only maybe, pick up their phone and film it.

[Jynnan tonnix]

15 minutes ago, Lunera said:

No way they did that so quick. She probably told them to do it so she could have a stupid #momproblems post. 

That was my first thought as well...it totally looks staged.

[Absolom]

Hands up so they don't get the charcoal on their clothes or the walls of the house.  That one at least made sense.

[BigBingerBro]

OK yeah, I remember using charcoal as chalk as a kid.  But my parents would have told me to go draw with it somewhere out of the way.  These kids are left alone quite a bit.

[Sew Sumi]

Based on today's messes, and stuff we've seen before, I think Jill tells the boys to "go out and play" quite a bit. They're too young for that.